Mothers
by Christopher Andrews
Rating: NC-17
CHAPTER 21: Grief
Author's Notes: I'd like to take this opportunity to dedicate this chapter to Val and her brother. My condolences to her and her family.
Buffy's POV
It just won't stop.
I make my way up the driveway, Faith staying with me, step for step.
I can't stop this horrible pain in my chest. My whole world is gone. My mom, my sister, my daughter… they're gone. They're all gone and they aren't coming back. I have nothing left. I don't know what to do. I have no reason to go on, no reason to see tomorrow, nothing to look forward to. What do I do? Where do I go from here?
I look up at the front door of my house as we go up the steps and stop.
And it is MY house too. I'm the only one living here now, no one else to give it life, no one to make it bright and vibrant. There's no one else to make it a home except me, and I don't know that I can do that.
I feel a hand gently on my shoulder and I turn my head to lock eyes with Faith.
“Do you want me to get the door?”
“Oh uh…”
I reach down into my pants right pocket.
“No I…”
I hook my finger through the key ring and try to take them out. They get caught on something so I pull harder.
“I can… I can get…”
I try even harder but they still won't come.
“I'll GET…”
Faith's other hand wraps itself gently around my wrist, stopping me.
“B…”
I stop struggling with my keys as our eyes meet again. She lets go of my wrist and turns up her palm to make her offer.
“I can do it if you want.”
I push my wrist into my pocket more and unhook my keys from the piece of string they were caught on and then pull them out, handing them to Faith. She immediately goes to the door and unlocks it. I move inside as she opens the door.
Thank god for Faith.
I stop in the main hall and look around at all the things I now own and no one else.
It feels strange being grateful that she's here. It wasn't more than a couple days ago that I wanted to beat her to a bloody pulp for coming anywhere near me. It wasn't long ago that I wanted her to leave town, again and never come back. But now I find that I want her here. I feel like… I need her here. She took care of most of the funeral arrangements for me along with Giles and Xander.
They asked my opinion on different things, the flowers, the casket, where to bury her, but most of the other stuff I left to them. I just… couldn't do it. I couldn't plan my own mother's funeral. It doesn't matter if they had waited 6 days or 6 months. I just couldn't do it. She was my mother and she's gone. I can't think about much of anything beyond that. I've lost the only family I have left.
I hear keys being thrown onto the wooden table next to the door and Faith comes up next to me. I let out an exhausted sigh and I close my eyes.
“I'm tired.”
“Well, maybe you should go to bed. Let's take you upstairs.”
She puts her arm over my shoulders gently and I start my way to the stairs.
What am I gonna do without my mom? She always knew what to do. She always knew what to say or do to make everything better. She always knew how to make me feel like the world wasn't ending. She did so much for me and now she's gone. I don't think I know what to do without her around to help.
We make our way up the stairs to the second floor. To the three empty rooms upstairs, two of which could be empty forever.
This house used to be so full of happiness. There used to be laughter and giggles and so many fun moments in this place. I remember moments of beautiful ecstasy and pleasure that happened in this place. Moments that me and my mom and Dawn and Faith all made together, but now all I see is death.
We get to the top of the stairs and head to my room.
The people in this house that made it such a happy place are gone. Now there's just me and an empty house… and Faith. I don't know if I could survive tonight without her here. I could never turn to Giles or Xander this way. I just wouldn't feel right taking comfort in their arms. Yet for some reason it feels right in hers. I'm not sure why. I guess maybe my mother was right. She was always right about most things when it came to me, even when I didn't want her to be right. I feel safe with Faith. I don't know why. After everything that's happened, I shouldn't. I should be making her go away so I can be alone. But I don't want to be alone. I feel alone already, even with her here.
We walk into my room and Faith stops as I head straight for my bed. I climb in and pull the covers over me, not even taking my clothes off as I curl up into a ball. I look at her standing a few feet away, watching me.
“Can I get you anything?”
Anything?
After a moment I just shake my head at her.
“Okay…”
She turns around to leave and I feel like a knife is stabbed through my heart and I'm gonna cry.
I don't wanna be alone tonight.
“I'll be downstairs if you…”
“Faith…?”
She faces me again.
“Yeah…?”
I move over on the bed to make room for her.
“Would you… would you stay here with me… tonight?”
It takes a second for her to decide.
“Sure…”
She walks over to the desk and grabs the chair, bringing it over.
“No, I…”
We look at each other for a moment as I speak.
“I… I need to know… that I'm not alone.”
I reach out and take her hand in mine, my eyes never leaving hers.
“You'll never be alone B, I'll be here.”
There's a silence between us as I look at her with blurry eyes. I feel like I'm going to choke if she doesn't help me.
“I… I need to feel it.”
Another long moment of silence passes.
“Please…”
After a few more moments, she squeezes my hand.
“Okay…”
She climbs into bed, on top of the covers. I put my arms around her and hold her close to me as we lie here together in my bed. I start to feel myself cry and she holds me tighter.
I don't want to feel alone.
CHAPTER 22: Our Daughter Who Art In Heaven
Author's Notes: I'm sure most of you won't like this chapter, for obvious reasons that you'll find out when you read it, but it's where the story has to go. :) Try and enjoy it if you can.
Faith's POV
The light of the sun shines on my face through the window, waking me up. I open my eyes and I see the ceiling I never thought I'd wake up to see again. I take a deep breath and stretch out in bed, quickly realizing that B isn't next to me. I sit up slowly and look around the room, knowing I won't find her here.
I hope she's all right. Last night was really hard on her. She cried until at least 2am. I cried more than a few times myself. Just holding her and feeling her cry was too much for me. It's probably best we both take it easy for a while. I should go find out what she's doing, make sure she's all right.
I get up out of bed, straightening out my clothes and running a hand through my hair.
I should probably go back to my motel room and change into some clean clothes. I want to be sure B's all right first though.
I start to leave the room but I notice that the drawer in the nightstand is open. I close it and then leave. I make my way down the stairs and I hear a soft crash from the kitchen followed by Buffy's voice.
“Damn it!”
I walk towards the kitchen and the smell of eggs cooking hits me. I enter the kitchen and stop a couple steps in as I see B at the stove, cooking. I stand there for a few moments, not sure what to say. The only thing that comes to mind is…
“Hey…”
She stops what she's doing and our eyes meet for a while. B goes back to cooking before responding.
“Hey…”
“You know, you don't have to cook B.”
She keeps on cooking throughout.
“I know I don't but… I just, I need to focus on… something else right now.”
I take a deep breath, hearing her voice almost crack every time she pauses.
“If I don't I might break into tears. I don't really want to cry right now.”
“B, if you need to cry then just let it out. I've been through this with my own mom. Trust me… it's better to just let it out.”
“No I…”
She pauses and closes her eyes for a second.
“Now isn't the time to cry. There are other things that are more important. It'll happen eventually, I know that. I'll cry sooner or later, but not now. I'm all cried out after last night.”
I can see she wants to leave it at that for now as she goes back to cooking on the stove.
“All right…”
I walk over and sit in the first seat at the breakfast bar.
“What are you having?”
“Eggs… I, I made one for you, if you want one that is.”
She made me some breakfast?
“You didn't have to do that B.”
She shakes the pan gently to check if it's ready.
“I know I don't have to, but I want to. It's the least I can do after what you did for me last night. Do you want sunny-side up or over easy?”
I don't really say anything right away and she looks back at me. I can see the sadness in her eyes is still there and some anger but the confusion is less than it was last night.
“Sunny-side up if you don't mind.”
She turns to the stove and steps left, opening a cupboard and taking out two plates. Buffy takes the pan off the stove and serves up an egg on each plate just as the toaster pops out two pieces of toast. She takes both plates after putting the toast on them over to the breakfast bar and sets one in front of me while setting the other across from me on the side with no chairs and standing there.
“B, you should sit down.”
I go to get up but she puts up a hand.
“No it's okay. I don't want to sit down.”
I watch her for a second to make sure she means it and then settle back down in my seat. We stare down at our breakfasts in front of us.
I don't really know what to say. I dealt with my mother's death all on my own, and I didn't handle it particularly well. I have no idea how I'm gonna help her deal with hers. All I know is I'm gonna try.
We sit in silence for a long time before Buffy finally breaks it.
“I can't forgive you.”
I look at B, who's staring right back.
“I, I don't know what you thought last night was, but there is no way I can ever forgive you after what you've done.”
I take a deep breath.
“So we're having this talk are we?”
She doesn't respond and we just stare at each other for a moment.
“Look, B, I don't want forgiveness for what I did. I'm not looking for it from you or anyone else.”
I take a longer deep breath this time.
“I killed our daughter. I killed her and I'm gonna have to live with that for the rest of my life. That's all I can really do. Live with it and… well, that's it. Just try and live with it. It's taken me a long time and it's not something that's been easy for me, but I think I've been able to come to a point where I think I just might be able to. Forgiveness just doesn't enter into it. So I'm not looking for forgiveness. I'm not asking for it, and I don't expect it from anyone… least of all you. In the end, all that really matters is if I can live with myself.”
B looks down at her breakfast for a split second.
“I know…”
She knows?
“You know?”
She nods silently.
“It's really the only thing either of us can do isn't it? Just live with it?”
I don't say anything.
“Ever since it happened, I've been trying not to live with it. I've been in so much pain that I couldn't think straight. I felt the need to lash out at every one and every thing I could, but most of all at you. But now… after my mom, I know that I have to find a way to…”
She pauses for a moment as she chokes back the tears forming in her eyes.
“A way to let go of all the pain and anger I feel. I can't live with all this inside me. I have to let it go. But I'm scared, and I don't know if I can. I've spent so long trying to fight everything around me, fighting what I think and I feel and everyone who tried to tell me that I should stop fighting… that I'm not sure I'd recognize myself if I did let it all go. I have to try though, because it's what my mom would want. She would want me to grieve for her and then move on.”
We sit in silence for a moment, not saying anything. After a while, B reaches down and takes something out of her pocket. She takes a deep breath.
“And I know Dawn would want the same thing, because of this…”
She holds out a small black box to me. I look at it for a few moments before I reach out and take it.
“What is it?”
“It's something our daughter left, for us. Mom gave it to me after we buried Dawn. Open it…”
I slowly open the box. For some reason it feels like the most fragile thing in the world and I might break it if it opens too quickly. Inside is a small gold ring with an embedded diamond in the centre… an engagement ring. I stare at it.
“Mom said that Dawn asked her to get it for us back when we were fighting over the fact that I wouldn't tell you the truth about her. Dawn figured that since we were fighting about her, even though she didn't know why, if she could show us that the only thing she wants is for us to be happy, we might stop fighting and work things out. After she found out the truth about Dawn, my mom took Dawn to a jewelry store and helped her pick one out.”
Dawnie…
“Dawn would've wanted us to work things out somehow. She loved us and wanted us to be happy. The ring is a symbol of what's really important. It's a symbol of what we once shared. That's what that ring means, and that's why I'm giving it to you.”
I look up at B and her eyes fall to the table.
“We're not… I don't…. I'm not asking you to take me back. That's not what this means. What we had is over and I don't want you that way anymore. I don't want you back. You were right about what we had not being real love. It wasn't, I should've learned that lesson from what happened between Angel and me. The truth is I have no idea what love really is, and I can't be with anyone until I'm ready to try and figure it out. Which I'm not. I'm sorry if…”
I hold up my free hand, the other firmly gripping the ring box, cutting her off.
“Buffy it's okay… even if I wanted us to get back together, which I don't, neither of us is in any condition to be in a relationship right now. We have too much history to be together in that way. We'd both end up hurting each other again. You're right, what we had is over. Besides, I can't say that I know what real love is either, all I know is what it's not. I have no idea what it's supposed to feel like, and if I did, right now I wouldn't trust myself to recognize it.”
The room falls silent for a few moments.
“Okay… then maybe we could try and be friends.”
Our eyes meet.
“I'd like that B.”
After staring at it through the silence, I close the ring box and reach to hand it back to her. She steps back.
“No, you can keep that.”
I look at her, a little confused.
I thought for sure she'd want this back.
“I gave that to you as a peace offering. I want you to have it. It's my way of showing you that I want us to put our past behind us. She wasn't just my daughter, she was my sister. I have 14 years worth of memories to remember who she was. Compared to me you only knew her for a split second. And you knew she was your daughter for even less time thanks to me. I want you to have something that you can remember her by. Something good…”
After a second I set it down next to me on the table about 3 feet from my plate.
“Thank you…”
She smiles weakly at me and I do my best to smile back.
“You're welcome.”
We sit there in silence together for a while before she looks down at her plate.
“We should eat before it gets cold.”
“Yeah…”
I pick up my fork.
CHAPTER 23: Rehab
Buffy's POV
God this is hard.
I take a deep breath as I sit next to Faith in the rehab centre of the hospital, waiting for Anya and Xander.
It's not quite as hard as it was a couple weeks ago after my mom's funeral, but I'm dealing. Those first few days, it was horrible. Just getting through the next minute knowing my family is gone, was so hard I wanted to cry all the time. But it doesn't hurt quite so bad anymore. I can actually get through a day without falling apart and crying 6 or 7 times. It's down to like one or two times a day now. I almost feel halfway normal.
I glance at Faith briefly and she catches me.
“Everything all right B?”
I attempt to smile at her, failing like I have so many times over the past couple of weeks.
“Yeah, I think so.”
I go back to waiting for Xander and the doctors to bring Anya down for rehab, and so does she.
Faith has been such a big help to me over the past few weeks. If I needed to talk, she was there. If I needed to cry, she was there. If I just needed to do something other than sit at home and veg, we went out and did stuff. She really has been an incredible friend. I feel like I can confide in her about anything, the way I used to with Willow. And the same goes for Faith. About a week ago I told her that if she ever wants to talk about what she's thinking or feeling or whatever, I wanna try and give a little back.
After all, she got Giles to convince The Council to give me enough money to live off of until I can figure out what I wanna do with my life, cause honestly, right now I can't even think about the rest of my life. It's too hard to even think about life without my mom and Dawn here with me. All I want right now is to be here for Anya and Xander while Anya has her first walking rehab session. Xander said the doctors were so impressed with how her rehab was going that they wanted her to start learning to walk again today. So that's why we're here, to be here for Anya and support her. If they ever get here that is.
I look over at Faith.
“Xander said 3 o'clock didn't he?”
She glances at the clock on the wall.
“Yeah he did. They must be late.”
I get up to find out.
“I'm gonna go see if they moved it or rescheduled it or something.”
“All right…”
I make my way to the automatic doors that lead to the rest of the hospital, only to be stopped by the sight of Xander wheeling Anya this way. The automatic doors slide open at my presence and Xander, Anya, and two doctors cross the distance to walk through. I move out of the way as they come into the rehab centre. Xander smiles at me as he passes.
“Hey there, thanks Buffy.”
“No problem, just call me Buffy the Door Opener.”
Anya decides to speak up as the doctors make their way over to the reception centre to check Anya in.
“Of course… you're saving the world from the terror of automatic doors that open on their own, much better than stopping the apocalypse.”
Xander and I exchange a knowing look. Faith comes up to join the conversation.
“Hey Anya, how's it going?”
Anya looks up at Faith.
“I'm fine, except for not being able to walk.”
Xander leans down from behind her wheelchair.
“Well, hopefully that will all start to change as of today.”
“It better, this whole not walking thing is overrated. Sure I get waited on hand and foot even though I can't feel my feet, but Giles won't let me handle the money at the magic box until I get better.”
Of course…
“You mean work there honey.”
Anya turns her head to look up at her boyfriend.
“No I meant handling the money.”
After a brief moment Xander smiles at his ex-vengeance demon and they kiss.
It's kind of romantic.
The rehab doctors come back over to us.
“We can begin any time you like.”
“Good…”
Anya grabs the armrests of her wheelchair and tries to stand up. Xander puts his hands on her shoulders to stop her.
“Whoa, hold on there shnookums, we have to do this by the book. Let's go over to the parallel bars and get started.”
Anya settles back down in her seat and huffs in frustration.
“Fine…”
Xander smiles at both Faith and I. The rehab doctors move out of Anya's way and Xander wheels her over to the training bars. Faith looks over at me and we exchange glances. I decide to tempt fate.
“You can do this Anya.”
She looks at me as she's about to stand and start her rehabilitation.
“Of course I can do it. It's just walking. I used to do it all the time.”
I knew I shouldn't have said anything.
“Maybe we should just sit down and watch B.”
Probably a good call.
I walk back over to the couch we were sitting on and sit down, Faith's joins me. We watch as Anya slowly gets up from her wheelchair and begins learning to walk again.
I guess we're all trying to remember how to walk in one way or another. Anya's doing it literally and Xander's doing his best to help, while the rest of us are doing it figuratively. I'm trying everything I can to walk through life without my mom to guide me or my family to turn to when things get rough. I need to find my footing in the world somehow and get myself back on track. It's hard, and I hate it, but I know I have to. It's what my mom and Dawn would want… and it's what I want.
Faith and I are trying our best to figure out a way to fit into each other's lives again. Trying to find a way to build something different out of what we used to have. We may have been spending a lot of time together but it's still a little unsettling being around her. Seeing the face of the woman who was once the love of my life, the face of the one I would've given my life for, the one I did give my life for once upon a time, and worst of all the woman who killed my sister and daughter in a single move. It's hard to look at her some times. It's hard knowing that when she's been so great to me through everything that's happened. I'm dealing with it though… for Dawn's sake. Dawn would've wanted it that way. Our daughter would've wanted it that way. She would've wanted us to be happy in whatever way that means. The thing that keeps me going is knowing that she loved us, and we loved her just the same. She meant the world to both of us and that much will never change.
I hope everything goes okay when we're out patrolling together tonight. It's my first patrol since my mom died. I'm not sure I'll be able to focus enough to do much but I have to do something other than sit around. I've been doing that too much the past couple days and I need to get out and do something different.
I sit back and watch as Anya makes her way past the halfway mark of the parallel bars.
Things are going to be okay I think, no matter how hard it might be.
CHAPTER 24: Learning To Be Okay
Faith's POV
This is really hard.
I move to avoid a headstone as B and I walk through the graveyard on patrol.
We've been spending a lot of time together over the past few weeks, and it's times like these that make it hard. Walking through the graveyard, I can't help but think that my daughter is buried a couple blocks east of here in another cemetery. It's hard knowing that, and even if I can live with what I did, it's still hard to do. It hurts to know that she's gone. And it can be even worse when B and I spend time together. Most of the time, things are okay with us. We can do stuff like watch TV or movies and just spend time with each other. It's really nice just being regular people together. But every so often something happens that reminds one or both of us of Dawn and things get tense between us.
Buffy avoids her own headstone like I did a minute ago and I feel the chain around my neck move as I swerve away from her to stay in step. I grab the chain under my shirt and feel the ring hanging off it.
I put Dawn's ring on a chain so I could carry it wherever I go. So I could have a piece of our daughter wherever I go. It makes the awkwardness feel worthwhile, knowing that wherever Dawn is, she loves us and wants us to be okay. It's a comfort in a lot of ways. I'll be thinking about Dawn or one of those awkward moments between us will happen and I just feel the need to hold it in my hand to feel better.
I let go of the ring as we continue through the cemetery.
It probably won't ever be used in the way that Dawn intended it to be used though. Dawn got us an engagement ring because she thought that us getting married would be the ultimate expression of our love. But after everything that's happened, there isn't really a love to express, and I would never give this to anyone else. It would destroy the memory of our daughter and the love B and I used to share. I would never do that to either of them. I'd like to fall in love again. I'd like to find someone to love some day, but I'd never use her ring on anyone I might meet. I would never do anything to hurt the memory of Dawn.
I look around the cemetery, not seeing anything.
I don't think we've seen a whole vampire all night. It's weird.
“Looks like the cemetery's pretty dead tonight B…”
She rolls her eyes and kinda smiles at me.
“It's a cemetery Faith, of course it's dead.”
I smile back and we fall into silence together for a few moments as we continue through the graveyard. She gets this thoughtful look on her face.
“Is everything okay?”
She looks to me at my question.
“Yeah, I guess.”
She forces herself to smile before going back to scanning the area.
“All right, I just asked because we haven't really talked in a couple of days and I wanted to make sure that everything was fine.”
“It is…”
After a few moments, she continues.
“I'm just not sure it should be.”
I watch her as her head drops and she stares at the ground in front of her while we walk.
“What do you mean?”
She takes a deep breath.
“My mom is gone.”
She pauses and I give her the time to say what she wants.
“There's a lot of things I wish I could've done with her before she died. I told you about a lot of them, remember?”
She looks over at me for a split second and I nod.
“But, I'm starting to feel like… like I can be okay with not doing them with her. It's like… it's okay that she's gone and… I feel horrible about it.”
I reach over and stop our patrol. She looks at me, upset, tears starting to form in her eyes.
“B…”
“She's my mom Faith. How can I be okay with the fact that she's gone?”
I'm not really sure what to say to that. I want to say something but I don't know what. We've spent so much time together and talked about so much, and still I don't know how to help her when she needs it.
“If you feel that bad about it, why don't we help you go and be with her?”
My head snaps to the right to the vamp who just spoke and I see he's got at least 5 friends with him.
“Yeah, then you can ask her yourself.”
B and I look left and another six vamps are coming at us from that direction. Two more voices come from behind us, both part of a single group of 6.
“I like that plan.”
“Me too…”
I look at B as they surround us. She's wiping the tears from her eyes and trying to get into slayer mode.
This is EXACTLY what we needed right now.
I scan the perimeter to see if any more vamps are coming.
It doesn't look like it.
“Don't talk about my mother that way.”
My eyes drift to B as she speaks rather shakily. She pulls out a stake and I decide to do the same, given the situation.
“Fine, tell us where she's buried and we'll go dig her up and play with her a bit. Make it a happy family reunion.”
I can tell by the look on B's face that they just said the wrong thing. The tears are coming back but I can see a whole lot of anger behind them. I grip my stake tightly.
I'm not exactly happy about what they're saying myself.
“You're gonna pay for that.”
You tell `em B.
“We'll see…”
The vamps from the right come at us, but the rest of them hang back.
What's up with that?
The first vamp comes at me and I duck the wide swing he throws. I fire back with a gut shot that sends him stumbling back a few steps as a second vamp moves in. I catch a glimpse of B sidestepping a charging vamp as I use a spin kick to take vamp #2 off his feet. As soon as I'm upright again, vamp #1 attacks me again. I dodge the first two punches but the third one connects with my jaw. I shake it off quick enough to block the next two which leaves his midsection wide open and I plunge my stake deep into his heart.
He explodes into dust and I immediately turn to vamp #2 who is just getting up. The sound of a vamp turning to dust hits my ears as I swing my leg out into a side kick and he catches it in mid air. He smiles at me like he's already won the fight, but I can feel a vamp coming up behind me and twist myself at the last second by the waist. The vamp behind me is caught off guard as I drive the stake into his chest and he explodes. As the dust scatters I can see Buffy staking another vamp. I notice that the other vamps are still standing around when I twist back, my foot still in his hands.
He lifts my leg and I brace myself for a back flip but instead of trying to flip me, he steps forward. It throws me off balance, sending me hard to the ground.
Ow!
His grip loosens as I hit and after I recover I do a half break dance to scissor kick his legs out from under him. I scramble on top of him while he's trying to come back from the pain and stake him. I turn around and get up after watching vamp #2 become dust. B finishes off her last vamp and we move to protect each other as we face off against the rest of them who still haven't moved. We stand back to back and scan the rest of the vampires surrounding us. I hear B sniffle and see her wipe her eyes out of the corner of my eye.
“You okay?”
She nods her head.
“Yeah, I just… really need to kick some undead ass.”
I look at our surroundings.
“I don't think that'll be a problem.”
The leader of one of the other groups of six steps forward.
“In the name of Omega, you must die.”
Not this again.
Six more of them come at us.
Why aren't more of them attacking at once? I don't mind this many but it doesn't make sense as far as a strategy.
B and I move away from each other so we have room to fight. Two vamps spread out to either side of me and I get into a fighting stance to fend them both off. They come at me full speed. I wait till they're close and then leap forward into a rolling summersault, avoiding their grasp. I'm on my feet and facing them in seconds. Before they can react I attack them both, landing a flurry of punches while going back and forth between them with each one that connects. After getting in a few good hits they start to block or dodge my fists so I back up. I see B knock down one of her vamps and he lands not too far from the vamp on my left. I rush my left vamp and deliver a swift kick to his gut, sending him toppling over his fallen counterpart. I turn my attention to my other vampire attacker as he comes forward. He throws the first four punches which I block quickly but the fifth comes out of nowhere and I stumble backwards, holding my gut to brace the pain. I fire back with a flurry of my own fists, ending it with a spinning back fist to the face.
I follow up with a roundhouse kick that leaves him seriously dazed. An uppercut to his chin opens him up to the stake I thrust deep into his heart. Once he's a pile of dust I turn to the other vampire I was dealing with. He and his friend are up and into attack mode. I hear the sounds of two vamps dusting as I hit the first to come at me with a side kick to the face, taking him off his feet. I get close enough to the fallen vamp to raise my stake but his buddy tries to save him. He sends me back a few steps with a backhanded uppercut to the face when I lean forward to stake his friend.
I back up quickly to regroup and let him attack first. He swings his fists at me hard and fast, but I manage to duck and weave my way out of his reach. Deflecting a pair of punches with my open palm, I start to fight back.
Come on Faith, you can do this.
My fists connect with his twisted face repeatedly and it throws him off balance enough for me to jam something pointy and wooden into his chest. I let the dust fall while I listen to the sound of another vamp dusting at B's hands. As the final vamp begins to stand I take a few deep breaths to focus and then hurl my stake at him, hitting him square in the heart. B and I come back together as we face the remaining six vamps to attack us. Both of our breathing has become heavy but I can hear the need to cry in Buffy's broken breaths.
“You wanna bail? I think I can hold them off for a minute.”
She shakes her head.
“Not after what they said about digging up my mom. I want them gone.”
She pulls out a new stake and holds it in front of her.
I guess that's what we'll do then.
I take one of my own stakes out from under my jacket and beckon them forward with my free hand.
“Come on…”
One of them heads straight at me while the others spread out. I keep what little distance I can between us but he uses a headstone as a springboard and lunges at me. He comes down onto me and I force the momentum in my favor. I raise my feet to me his stomach and catapult him over a few graves. I get up quickly. B's a couple feet over dealing with two vamps while the other 3 focus on me. I move to the vamp in the middle but he decides to strike and I'm smacked in the jaw by a fist.
Damn it!
I deflect the follow up punch and fire back with my own. His two friends on either side of me attack to protect him but I do a back flip to avoid their fists and my feet kick out mid flip, hitting the middle vamp in his face. As soon as I'm upright again I launch my stake into the middle one's chest and he explodes into dust. I take out another stake as the two remaining vamps prepare to attack. The vamp I threw away earlier makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up as he comes up behind me. A pair of arms try to grab me but I catch them and do a half turn to hit him with an elbow to the stomach followed fast by a back fist to the face. While he's dazed, I grab him by the right arm at the shoulder and wrist, tossing him head first into one of the two remaining vamps.
With those two in a heap on the ground, I turn my attention to the only one of the three still standing. We exchange fists and I can hear the sound of a vamp turning to dust behind me. I try for a roundhouse kick but he jumps back, out of reach. He closes the gap again quickly and comes at me with a pair of punches and a side kick. I grab his foot to avoid the impact with my ribs and twist it at the ankle hard, nearly breaking it. He screams at the pain in his ankle and it only gets worse when he tries to stand on it out of habit. I hit him with a few more jabs to the face and ribs which takes him off his feet. Wasting no time, I crouch down next to him and stake him.
I get up and turn to the last two vamps that are only now getting up. The first one faces off against me as the other gets up. I lead with a threesome of punches, two of which connect and add a spinning roundhouse on the end. He's off his feet quickly and I bury my stake in his ribs. I hear another vamp dusting as I stand up.
Just as I look to the final vamp to attack us I see a stake go flying through the air and into his chest, exploding him. I follow where the stake came from and my eyes fall on B, frozen at the end of her throw a few feet away. I look over the cemetery to make sure there's no one else and then close the gap between us.
“Buffy?”
She's still frozen in place. Her breathing keeps getting heavier, trying desperately to keep her tears in. I touch her shoulder and it snaps her out of her freeze. She immediately turns to me and wraps her arms around me, breaking into tears. I hold her to me as she buries her face in my shoulder.
“Mommy…”
She squeezes me to her harder and I just hold her.
I'm not really sure what else I can do. She's still in a lot of pain, no matter how much better she might be doing. The pain doesn't ever go away, but you learn to live with it. I just wish I could do more to help her through it all.
I look around and move her over to the nearest tombstone.
“Let's sit down.”
Buffy sits down on the edge and I join her.
“Talk to me B…”
She stares at her feet for a few moments.
“I… I hate that I feel this way.”
“What way?”
She breathes deep.
“Like it's all right that she's gone. I shouldn't feel this way.”
“Shouldn't you?”
“No I… she was my mom Faith. I… god I'm even talking about her in the past tense now.”
She leans forward, her face falling into her hands.
“What the hell is wrong with me?”
I put my hand on her shoulder.
“There's nothing wrong with you B.”
She looks up at me for a second before looking down at the ground.
“Then why do I feel this way? I've lost my mom, my sister, and my daughter… both within a matter of months of each other. How can I just, be okay with that?”
“But you're not okay with it Buffy. If you were you wouldn't feel so bad about being okay with the fact that they're gone. You wouldn't have spent the last few weeks in so much pain.”
She wipes the tears out of her eyes.
“I guess. I just, I feel like I should…”
“Spend the rest of your life grieving for them?”
We fall into silence together as she doesn't respond to my question.
“Look, you said it yourself a couple weeks ago. Your mom wouldn't want you to spend your life crying for her, and neither would Dawn. They'd want you to find a way to move on and be happy, and that's what you're doing. You're doing what they would want you to do. You shouldn't feel bad about that.”
She sniffles a little and then looks at me.
“I can't help it. They meant so much to me.”
I smile.
“I know B, they meant a lot to me too. It's all right to feel happy though. It's what they would've wanted.”
She smiles through her sad look.
“You're right… it is what they would've wanted. It's just hard.”
“I get it.”
I stand up and face her after a few silent moments.
“You know, I think I've had enough action for one night, how about you?”
She gets up next to me and smiles again.
“A couple nights, at least…”
We should try and do something fun.
I put my arm over her shoulders.
“Hey, let's do something fun eh?”
“I could do with some fun. What did you have in mind?”
We start walking to leave the cemetery.
“Hmm… how about we rent some movies, maybe order some pizza?”
“Sounds like fun to me.”
“That's kinda the point B.”
She forces a chuckle. We get about 10 feet from leaving the cemetery and all of the sudden the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
What the hell is that?
I stop and B looks at me with a questioning look.
“What is it?”
“You feel that?”
She freezes and tries to feel it.
“I think so, can't figure out what it is though.”
“Neither can I. It feels like the same thing I felt the last time we were attacked.”
“You think there was more of them, maybe a couple watching the fight?”
“No, it's different.”
I look around and scan the area. I get this really bad feeling coming from a crypt a few feet to our right.
“I think they're behind that crypt.”
B pulls out a stake and we break apart.
“Let's go.”
My thoughts exactly B.
We make our way over to the crypt, slowly at first but the closer we get the quicker we walk. As we get to one end, we both exchange a look and take off quickly to the other side. The thing that was watching us tries to take off as I get around the crypt but I grab it and shove it against the back of the crypt. I grab it by the throat as B comes around the corner. I look at whatever's been watching us.
Oh my god!
“MOM!?”
CHAPTER 25: Return
Buffy's POV
I turn the corner to catch our stalker just as Faith slams them against the wall of the crypt. She grabs what I think is a person by the throat to keep them at bay. Whatever it is looks like an older woman with brown hair and is about a foot taller than Faith. I stop as I see Faith's eyes go wide at the sight of the person in front of her.
“MOM!?”
What? Did she say mom? She thinks this person is her mom?
I look back and forth between them.
There is a little bit of a resemblance I guess. They have the same nose, the same eyes, and I think the same cheekbones.
Faith is just staring right at her with a blank expression.
“Faith?”
I don't really know what else to say.
All of the sudden, Faith's look turns ice cold and she pulls out a stake from her jacket. I close the gap between us as she raises the stake to stab her mother. The woman puts up her hands in fear.
“Faith, sweetheart I'm sorry…”
I grab Faith by the wrist as she's about to strike. She looks at me like I've gone nuts.
“What are you doing B?”
What am I doing?
“I was gonna ask you the same question. You just called this woman your mom.”
“That's because whatever this thing is, it looks like her.”
“I'm sorry Faith… I didn't want it to happen like this.”
Faith lets go of her mother's neck but keeps her stake at eye level to attack if she has to.
“Happen like what?”
“Our meeting again… I wanted it to go better, but he said you spent a lot of time in cemeteries and I had to know why. What was going on with those people and what happened to them?”
Faith and I look at each other for a second. After a second Faith steps forward, thrusting her forearm against her mother's throat and grips her stake tighter.
“None of your business, and who is HE exactly?”
This woman is obviously scared of the way Faith's acting towards her.
I can see it on her face. Faith shouldn't be treating her mom like this.
“I… after so many years I, I wanted to know if you were okay. I h-hired a private detective to track you down, he told me where to find you and I came to talk.”
She came looking for Faith? Whoever this is, she must really care about Faith to come looking for her like this. Of course she cares, she's a mother.
“Why?”
“Faith, come on…”
“Stay out of this Buffy…”
Faith leans into her forearm a bit more.
“Why? Why come looking for me?”
Isn't it obvious?
“Because you're my daughter and I was worried about you. I love you firecracker.”
Firecracker?
“That must be a new experience for you.”
What's Faith talking about?
“What do you mean?”
“Caring about me, that's a new thing for you.”
What?
“Faith, I always cared about you. You're my daughter.”
She steps back from her mother and takes her arm away from her neck.
Well, that's some progress I guess.
Faith scoffs and rolls her eyes at the woman in front of her.
“Bull…”
Or not…
“I do love you Faith. I tried to take care of you as much as I could. I know I didn't do everything I should've, and I'm sorry for all the things I didn't do, but I'd like to try and make up for it, if I can.”
Whatever happened, she obviously feels really horrible about it. Maybe if I help, they could build something.
“And what about dying? Are you gonna make up for that too?”
Dying?
I look between them.
“Faith, what are you talking about?”
She looks at me.
“My mother's dead B. This THING, whatever it is, can't be my mom.”
I stare at Faith's mom for a second.
She doesn't give off the vampire vibe, she feels human. So what is she if she's supposed to be dead?
“Are you sure?”
“I found her dead on the kitchen floor when I was 14. Dad and I buried her a week later. He disappeared on the one year anniversary. I'm pretty damn sure.”
She looks at her mother for a second before speaking again.
“What did you do to him?”
Why is she assuming her mother did something?
“I'm sorry firecracker, I didn't know. I don't know what happened to him. I started looking for you by looking for him. I was hoping I'd find the two of you together. But the detective couldn't find any record of him after 1996. So I came looking for you.”
Faith's mother glances at me at my question but then brings her focus back to her daughter.
“And what about the fact that she buried you?”
There are a few moments of silence.
“I… I don't know. I can't remember what happened. I remember… getting drunk one day and passing out, and then the next thing I remember is waking up in a town outside Boston with no memory. I only got it back about a month before I hired the private detective to find you. I was so worried about what might've happened to you all those years. I needed to find you to make sure you were okay.”
God, I can't imagine spending that many years not knowing who you are. It must have been horrible for her. And then when she got it back, knowing her daughter was out there alone for so many years.
“So what the hell are you then?”
The older woman gets this hurt look on her face.
“I'm your mother firecracker, you know that.”
Faith all of the sudden lunges at her mother, forcing her up against the side of the crypt, pressing her stake to her mother's chest.
“But what are you REALLY?”
Oh for god's sake…
“Vampire? Demon? Some kind of zombie?”
I get in Faith's face.
“She's just a woman Faith. Can't you see that?”
There's gotta be a way to prove it for sure.
I turn to the older woman and look at her fear-stricken face.
Wait, that's it.
Reaching into my pocket, I pull out the bottle of holy water I keep with me. I pop the top off and splash it on the woman's face. Faith and I stand waiting for something to happen, but nothing does.
“There Faith… nothing happened. If she were some kind of demon or something, the holy water would've hurt her. It's not. She's not evil. You can let her go now.”
Faith slowly pulls back from her mother, the angry look still there. Her mother keeps breathing heavily in fear. She waits a few moments to see if Faith will do anything else before wiping the holy water off her face.
“Faith, whatever's going on I hope that it will help you trust me enough for us to talk. I know you have no reason to trust me, but I'm not going anywhere until we can talk. I'd like us to try and…”
“Go back to where you came from Mom.”
Faith turns around and starts walking away.
“The next time I see you, you won't live long enough to say hello.”
She keeps on walking. I start to go after her.
“Faith…”
“I'll see you tomorrow or something B…”
I come to a stop after a few steps.
I should probably give her a little space to deal. I'll go by her motel tomorrow and talk with her. I don't really know what I'll say, but I'll think of something.
The woman Faith called mother not too long ago comes up beside me. I look over at her and she has this somber look on her face.
“I'm sorry…”
She looks at me and smiles thankfully.
“It's all right. She has every right to feel the way she does. I abandoned her for 8 years, even if I didn't know I was doing it. I wasn't the greatest of mothers when I was there either. I was hoping things might have gone better, but I guess I can't do anything about that now.”
She puts out her hand and there's a small piece of paper on it.
“My hotel address and cell phone number are on the back.”
I take the piece of paper and look at the writing on it. This is all the way on the opposite side of town from Faith's motel.
“Please let her know that I'm available to talk if she wants to.”
She really wants to try and make up for everything. She's not some evil monster trying to hurt us. She's just a mother.
“I will Ms. Lehane…”
“Call me Fray… I understand that it will take time, but I hope that eventually she will want to work things out. I really do love my daughter.”
“I can tell. I'll do what I can.”
“Thank you, um…”
I hold out my hand to shake hers.
“Buffy, my name is Buffy.”
She shakes my hand.
“All right then Buffy. Thank you very much.”
“No problem.”
She starts to walk backwards and our hands part.
“I hope we talk again.”
“I hope so too.”
I turn and head off towards home.
I'd go see Faith and make sure she's all right, but I think she's too angry right now to talk about what's bothering her. I'll see her tomorrow.
CHAPTER 26: Trauma
Buffy's POV
I have to do something.
I take a deep breath as I make my way to Faith's motel.
There has to be a way that I can get Faith to talk to her mother so they can patch things up. I have so many things I wanted to do with my mom. We didn't spend that much time together over the last few years. I was so busy with school, and then everything with Faith and Omega and then dying and coming back and… Dawn.
My feet and I come to a dead stop in the middle of the sidewalk as I close my eyes to remember Dawn's face.
Sweet little Dawnie… we never had the time to be anything more than sisters. We never had a chance to be mother and daughter like we should have been, like Mom and I should've been. I spent so much time yelling at her as a kid, causing her all kinds of stress and pain on top of that. Making her wonder where I was all the time when I was out slaying and couldn't tell her.
I open my eyes and wipe at the tears formed in the corners as I make my way to Faith's again.
Then I went and made her worries worse by telling her I was a slayer. I had so much I wanted to do with her. So much I wanted to share with her. There are all sorts of things that I'll never be able to do with her because she's gone. I can't let that happen to Faith. She still has the chance to do with her mom what I'll never be able to do. Faith can still say what I can never say. I won't let Faith lose that shot. There HAS to be something I can do to make it happen.
I stop in front of Faith's motel door and take a deep breath. Knocking softly, I wait a few moments for an answer. The door opens and I see Faith standing on the other side.
“Hey B…”
I smile weakly at her and she returns it.
“Hey, can I come in?”
She moves out of the way.
“Come in…”
I go inside and she closes the door behind me. We face each other and a moment of silence falls on us.
“So… how are you?”
Me?
“I'm okay I guess… today feels like a good day so far. What about you?”
“I've been better. Can I get you something to drink or something?”
I hold up my hand for a second and smile.
“No, but thank you…”
“All right…”
A deafening silence follows her last statement for a few moments.
Okay then, I'll start.
“So… your mother's in town eh?”
Faith turns away and starts slowly pacing.
“Not if she knows what's good for her.”
What?
“You shouldn't talk like that about your mother Faith. I mean, she did raise you didn't she?”
She stops and faces me.
“More or less…”
“What does that mean?”
“It's a long story B.”
I lessen the gap between us.
“I don't have anywhere else to be.”
She takes a long breath.
“You've listened to me for the past couple weeks. I'd like to return the favor. Maybe I can help.”
After a few moments, she smiles weakly at me.
“It's not the greatest idea.”
“Why not…?”
“Because, when I think or talk about the people who raised me I tend to get really angry. And you and I have yelled at each other enough for a few lifetimes.”
I move into her personal space and take her hand.
“Faith, even if we did yell at each other, it wouldn't be about us. Whatever it is, you can talk to me about it.”
We stare at each other for a moment.
“I wouldn't know where to start exactly.”
“Well, you could always start with the more and move on to the less. Come on, let's sit down.”
I move over to the desk and grab the chair, bringing it next to the bed. I sit down in the chair and she sits on the end of the bed.
“So… what was she like? Before she, well, died.”
“That depends on when you ask me.”
When I ask her?
“I'm sorry?”
“My parents were okay people some times, but not all the time.”
I should probably just let her talk.
“During the day, we were a pretty normal family. We'd all have breakfast together, then Dad would go to work and I'd go to school. My mom would stay home and take care of the house. We were your typical nuclear family that way. But things always changed come nightfall. It was like they became completely different people. There'd be booze and drugs all over the place, people were coming and going almost non-stop. I didn't really understand what was going on until I got older, but I knew I didn't like it before I was 10 years old.”
Her eyes drop at whatever memory was brought up by her last sentence. She looks more sad and angry than anything else. I take her hand in both of mine again and squeeze it a bit.
“Do you mind if I… can I ask what happened?”
Our eyes meet and she looks like she's wondering whether to tell me or not.
“You don't have to if you don't want to. I'm just trying to help.”
She tries to smile at me.
“I know B, and I appreciate it.”
I smile back.
Okay, I gotta take the chance.
“Maybe you could talk to your mother about it.”
Faith pulls her hand away from mine.
“That isn't gonna happen B.”
Sitting back in the chair, I sigh heavily.
“Why not…? She said she wants to talk to you. She said so. Maybe if you talked about what was bothering you with her, things would get better. You might feel better if you cleared the air.”
Faith stands up and moves away from the bed.
“I'm not gonna talk to my mom B, even if that was really her. I'm still not convinced it was.”
“When I had a problem, talking with my mom always helped.”
She faces me with an angry look.
“I don't know if you've noticed, but my mother and I don't have the greatest relationship like you did with yours B. We never got along like you guys. And I don't want us to.”
I get up from my chair.
“She's still your mother Faith. She still loves you, and you still love her whether you'll admit it or not. So you have to at least try.”
“No…”
“Why not…?”
“Buffy, I was a better mother to Dawn than my mother was ever to me. And I KILLED Dawn.”
What? God how could she say?
I sit down in the chair as my knees go weak and I feel the need to cry my eyes out.
“How could you say that?”
I feel the tears coming, as Faith kneels down in front of me.
“I'm sorry Buffy… I shouldn't have said it like that. I'm sorry.”
She pulls me into a hug and I put my chin on her shoulder.
“I loved Dawn, you know that. I didn't mean to say that. I was just angry, Dawn meant so much to both of us.”
I pull back from the hug as I sniffle and wipe the tears from my eyes. I look at Faith for a few short moments and I know that she really means it. Reaching out, I put my hand on her shoulder.
“I know you did… just like your mother loves you Faith.”
She closes her eyes and her head drops to the side.
“I'm not asking you to forget what your mother did to you. Obviously it's a really bad memory, whatever it is. All I'm asking is that you give her a chance to explain.”
Looking up at me again, she puts her hand on mine against her shoulder.
“I don't know that I can. It's not so much what she did, even though she did some bad things… both to me and in general, it's what she didn't do that hurt the most.”
She gets up and sits back on the bed, taking a deep breath.
“You remember how I said that I didn't like what was happening before I was 10?”
I just nod my head.
“Well there's a reason for that. A couple weeks before my 10th birthday, my dad went away on a business trip somewhere. I don't remember where. And the second he left, my mother started inviting men over on an almost hourly basis. It went on like that for the whole time my dad was gone. I met more than a few of them. Any time I had to leave my room, one of them was there.”
I lean forward and rest my hand on her knee. I don't say anything.
There isn't anything I could say that would help right now.
“They used to tell me I was so cute. A lot of them talked about how much they liked me even though we'd never met. Some of them would joke around with me and try and play games with me, some times it was fun but most of them were just annoying. None of them would leave me alone, and my mother never seemed to be around when they would bother me. Then one night, after they were done with her and she had passed out, one of them snuck into my room and… and then the jokes weren't funny anymore.”
She stops talking and I'm not sure how to respond to that.
God, that's horrible. I can't imagine her having to go through something like that. I know that this kind of thing happens in the world, and that any person who could do it is 100 times worse than any demon I've ever been up against. But what do I do? It happened so long ago, I'm not sure what I can do to help.
I get out of the chair and sit next to her, putting my arm around her shoulder.
“I'm sorry…”
She leans into me and takes a deep breath.
“It's okay. It's not your fault. You're not the one who invited him into the house. It was a long time ago. You never completely get over something like that, but after all the things I've seen and done as a slayer, it's become just like them. My dad came back a couple days later, just before my birthday.”
“Did they ever catch the person that did it to you?”
She shakes her head.
“No, I told my mother about it and at first she didn't want to believe me. I had to show her the bruises before she did anything. We called the police and they tried to investigate, but it was too dark and I was too traumatized to remember what he looked like. My mother said she never even asked his name. That's all she had to do and chances are he would've been caught. But she didn't, so there was no way to track him down.”
Faith sits up and faces me slightly.
“So… you understand why I'd rather not talk to my mom.”
I take her hands in mine.
“I do, and I'm not going to press the issue. I know that the words `horrible experience' don't even come close to describing what it was like. I can't imagine what you must've gone through. But I'd like you to think about one thing.”
I wait a moment for her to respond.
“Okay…”
“You and I have been through a lot in the time we've known each other, and we've made it through. It wouldn't be a stretch to say that we've been to hell and back. But we've managed to survive it all in one way or another and made our peace. Isn't it at least possible that you and your mother can find a way to work through things, some way that you can find some common ground? Maybe move beyond the past and make peace? The way you and I have.”
She looks down at the bed and a long stretch of silence hits us.
“I don't know…”
I reach out and touch her cheek, making her look up at me.
“Just think about it. Maybe there isn't, but maybe there is. It's your decision to make, and no matter what you decide, I'll be here to help you with it.”
She smiles at me and I can't help but smile back. Faith leans forward and we hug.
“Thanks B.”
“Of course, it's the least I can do.”
We keep hugging for a few minutes before pulling back.
We should probably do something a little less painful after all this. I know…
“Hey, you know we never did do the whole movie and pizza thing we were planning last night. What'd you say?”
“Sure B, but we should go by and see Giles. Those vamps were acting really strange last night. They were too organized.”
She's right.
“Yeah, you're right. Let's meet at the hospital though. I'm sure Xander and Anya will want to know what's going on with the remnants of Omega's cult, after what they did to her. Anya's still staying at the hospital for her therapy.”
“Good idea, I'll give Giles a call and then we'll head over to the hospital to see if Xander's there with Anya. If not we'll call him. After we give them an update, we'll go out and get some pizza.”
Great…
“Sounds like a plan.”
Faith moves down the bed towards her phone, picks it up and starts dialing.
I know I can get Faith and her mother talking again, I just have to try.
CHAPTER 27: Suspicions
Author's Notes: All right, so I know it may seem as though I'm going the "traditional route" when it comes to the events that were described in the last chapter, and I assume that's why I got fewer reviews that time around, but I can assure you, the events were described simply as a reason for Faith not to want to talk with her mom, it's not an indication of an explanation for past events. Anyway, I hope you guys enough this one better.
Faith's POV
I'm not sure what to do.
I sit back in my chair in Anya's hospital room with Xander and Buffy, waiting for Giles to get here.
Buffy does have a point. She's my mother after all. I came back to Sunnydale to visit Joyce, a woman I've thought of as a mother for a long time. And now my real mother is actually here… or at least something that looks like her, and she wants to talk. Maybe I should give her a chance to talk. I just don't know if I can look at her without wanting to hurt her. She's the reason he was there that night. She's the reason he did what he did to me. She's the reason he was never caught.
I can't just pretend that none of it happened. I can't pretend that I don't blame her for letting it happen, for the way she treated me afterwards. Things were better for a while. People stopped coming over every night, and the drugs and alcohol all but disappeared from the house. We were an almost normal family again. But that only lasted as long as child services were watching us. Once that woman stopped coming around, it all started again, except it was worse than before. I tried to get her to stop what she was doing, and my dad, but every time I did, they'd hit me. It kept going like that, right up until she `died'.
I should get Giles to figure out exactly what she is somehow, if she really is my mom though… I don't know. I might give her a chance to talk. Maybe...
I look over at B.
Maybe if Buffy was there to keep me from beating my mom to a bloody pulp.
“So, Anya… how's the rehab going?”
I look to Anya at Buffy's question.
“The doctors are trying to extort money out of me so they can make me bankrupt.”
I can't help but smile at her accusation.
“Anya, honey, we talked about this. The doctors are just trying to make sure you heal properly so your muscles can work right.”
Anya scoffs at her boyfriend.
“Xander, they keep telling me to go slower and not get better. Just so they can get more money out of me. I can't make any more money until I'm better, and I can't get better, until they get all my money out of me. They're trying to bankrupt me.”
I'm just surprised at how completely paranoid she's being.
“Sweetie, you know that's not true. They just want to stop you from hurting yourself. You were going to hurt yourself with the way you were going.”
“He's right Anya. When I was recovering from being tortured by Glory, the doctors kept telling me to slow down because I was pushing myself so hard. Looking back on it, they were right. I pushed too hard and I'm just glad I didn't get myself seriously hurt.”
“Yes, but you have all that annoying slayer healing. You would've recovered.”
Okay, time to weigh in.
“All the more reason to take it slow, you're an ex-vengeance demon, not a slayer. If you go too fast you'll get hurt and won't be able to do all the fun things you and Xander do that I really don't want to hear about.”
Anya looks thoughtful for a few moments.
“You're right Faith. I do want to have lots and lots of sex when I get out of here. I should slow down.”
Xander looks at me and smiles sarcastically. Just then, a short knock on the door has Giles coming in.
“Hey G-man…”
“Hi Giles…”
He looks over the room with a smile.
“Hello all… Anya, how are you?”
“Wishing I could have sex, you?”
Giles is thrown by Anya's statement. Xander, B, and I just look at each other and try not to laugh.
“Not quite I'm afraid. My mind is focused on other things for the moment.”
He turns to me and B.
“Particularly the events of last night, I'm told there was an event of some interest?”
More than one…
B speaks up.
“Yeah, it was weird. We were attacked by a whole gang of vamps. There had to be at least, what, 15? 20?”
She looks to me for back up.
“Somewhere around there, yeah… but they didn't all attack at once. They attacked in groups. I think it was like 6 at a time.”
Giles pulls a chair up and sits down.
“Interesting… why would they choose to do that? Tactically it would have been more prudent for them to attack all at once. Unless…”
He pauses for a moment.
“There are only two reasons I can think of that would make them taking such actions. The first is that without a definitive leader, the remaining hierarchies of Omega's cult are attempting to find a leader through your demise.”
Well I don't think that will happen.
“Why?”
Anya follows up Xander's thought.
“Yeah, wouldn't it have made more sense to do that right after he was killed?”
“I suspect that they must have tried, but given the fact that Faith went on a one person crusade to rid the town of their kind and the demon population in general, I would imagine they needed time to regroup and increase their ranks as well. It's only now that they feel prepared. All they require now is a leader.”
Hmm…
“You said there might be another reason?”
“Quite right, the only other reason I can think of at this time is that they have in fact chosen a leader and that the situation you found yourselves in last night was intended as a test of your abilities.”
B gets thoughtful for a second before responding.
“You think there might have been someone watching us last night to see what happened?”
Wait… that could mean…
“It's more than likely.”
“My mom…”
Everyone looks at me.
“Faith, what about her…?”
“She was there B, she saw everything.”
Buffy gets this questioning look.
“Your mom was just concerned about you.”
“I told you there was probably something bad was going on with her B.”
“Faith…”
Giles interrupts.
“I'm sorry… but I would appreciate it if we could clear something up. Faith, you say your mother has made a sudden appearance in Sunnydale?”
“Yup…”
“Hmm, I must say I find that quite perplexing. I was given to understand that your mother had passed on.”
“I thought so too until she showed up mysteriously after we fought off those vamps. But she's here… or at least something that looks like her.”
Giles gets his deep thinking face on.
“Hmm, this could be significant. I take it this wasn't an apparition or manifestation of some kind?”
I shake my head.
“Nope, I had my hand around her neck at one point.”
“It could be some sort of demon possession, or an advanced form of glamour perhaps.”
B pipes in.
“Or maybe she's just back from the dead.”
We all look at Buffy.
“I came back from the dead, why not her?”
“Yeah but Buffy, we had the last Urn of Cirrhosis…”
Giles corrects him.
“Osiris…”
“Right, we had that and a powerful witch for us.”
“And how do we know that there wasn't that stuff there when it happened to her? Besides, we don't even know that either of those things was needed. Xander, what about that Jack guy?”
Xander looks at B, confused for a second.
“Jack guy?”
“Yeah, back in high school you told me about that guy who raised his buddies from the dead with some ritual thing.”
“Right, Jack O'Toole, damn scary dead people.”
She's really trying hard to assume my mother's not evil.
“Exactly, I'm just saying, we don't know enough to assume she's part of some evil plot.”
Xander, Giles, Anya and I look at each other for a second.
“Buffy may in fact be correct. I will have to examine all of the options. I shall contact the Council and find out what they know about your parentage Faith, and perhaps even consult the Book of Karameth for clues. Until then, I suggest we exercise caution.”
That was gonna be my plan.
“I'm for that.”
“Yeah, good plan.”
“Yes, much better than rushing in and getting killed.”
We all kinda smile at Anya's comment. Giles breaks the silence after a moment.
“Very well then, I should return to my flat to investigate what might be happening.”
I watch as Giles gets up.
“You'll let us know if you find anything?”
He nods before leaving.
“Of course…”
At least I'll know something for sure soon. Or at least I hope so.
CHAPTER 28: Memory Lane
Buffy's POV
I hate this.
I look left at the movies on the other rack down the romantic comedy aisle.
These movies are so horrible. They're all about great love conquering all and happily ever after. It's so unrealistic. I hate it. But I want to get something happy and fun after all that's happened lately. I think I've had enough drama to last me till the day I die… again. I can't believe the way Faith just condemned her mother like that. Suggesting she might be evil. We don't know enough about what's going on to think that way.
For all we know, she was saved by the powers on high to help us somehow. I know that Faith's mother wasn't the best person. I know she should've been a better mom and not invited strange men into her house with Faith around. But I don't think she's evil.
We reach the end of the first aisle and turn down the next.
She doesn't seem evil. She doesn't look evil. She doesn't feel evil either, and I can usually feel evil when it's around. What's that old saying? If it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck…? Well she doesn't look or sounds like a duck, so I don't think she is. She's a good person, I'm sure of it. She just made some bad choices. I can understand that. I've made some bad decisions in my life, so has Faith. I would think that Faith would understand that. But I guess that what happened cut pretty deep, and why shouldn't it? I'm not sure if I could deal with it if it happened to me. I think she's a really strong person for having dealt with it as long as she has.
But she can't spend the rest of her life hating her mother, anymore then I could spend the rest of my life hating Faith for what she's done. Maybe now that her mother's in town, she can deal with it. All I have to do is find a way to get them talking.
I look at the movies on the right. I pick up some movie called Serendipity. I read the back of it.
`In the course of one magical evening, Jonathan and Sara meet unexpectedly…'
Okay, I'm already pretty sure I'll hate this movie.
I turn to Faith and stop.
“These movies all suck.”
She chuckles at me.
“You don't have to tell me that B. But you were all about the happy fun movies all the way over here, and there's no way I'm watching one of those stupid slapstick comedies. What else is there to watch?”
I turn towards the rack of movies and pout at the crappy selection.
“I know. I just wish this town had a better video store.”
“Funny thing to say in Sunnydale's best video store…”
I start walking down the video aisle again.
“I'm not so sure it is. The selection is 75 percent romance movies. What kind of selection is that?”
“A happy one…”
I look back at Faith and roll my eyes.
“I hate romantic movies.”
“You and me both B… you and me both…”
“Well that certainly has changed.”
That voice sounds familiar.
I turn around to see Faith has turned around to look at her mother, standing behind her.
“Hello again…”
Her mother smiles and waves at both of us, I smile back.
What's she doing here?
Faith glares at her mom and folds her arms across her chest.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
That was a little harsher than it needed to be.
“I was looking to rent a movie and I didn't really like the ones on the hotel TV. One of the bellhops said this was the best place in town, and gave me the hotel's membership to this place. So here I am.”
I knew there was a simple explanation. She just wanted to see a movie.
“I saw you were here too and thought I'd say hello.”
Faith leans on her back leg slightly, into a more defensive posture.
“Hello, now you can leave.”
Her mom gets this slightly hurt look on her face and I can't help but feel bad for her.
I should do something.
I move up beside Faith and put my arm around her shoulders.
“Come on Faith, your mom was just trying to be nice. What did you mean that things had changed?”
“Well, I can remember a time when Faith was actually a big fan of romantic movies, weren't you firecracker?”
Nothing but silence greets that question.
Fine, I'll just try a little harder.
“Faith…? I find that hard to believe.”
Her mom smiles at me.
“If I remember correctly… Lady and the Tramp was your all-time favorite.”
Lady and the Tramp…?
“Really…? Is that true Faith?”
Faith looks at me with a rolling eyed glare.
“I was young. Since then I've managed to grow up.”
Hmm, you know that might be an idea.
“She used to watch that movie so many times when we'd rent it that I finally went and bought it for her birthday.”
Faith pushes my arm off her shoulders and steps back.
“Yeah, my 10th birthday…”
Mrs. Lehane looks down in shame for a second.
“B, if you wanna stand here and stroll down memory lane then you go ahead. I'm gonna go and look for a happy movie in the horror section.”
She heads off to the horror section.
“I'll let you know if I find any.”
I watch as she leaves for a second and then turn to her mother.
“I'm sorry about that. She's still angry.”
Faith's mom smiles sweetly at me.
“It's all right. I'm sure that remembering those times isn't a fun experience for my little firecracker. There are a lot of bad moments from those days, no doubt they're more prominent than the happy ones I try to focus on.”
I sigh.
“Yeah… she told me about some of those bad moments.”
She gets this sad look on her face.
“They're all true. I'm not proud of a lot of the things I did in the past. There's so much I should've done. So much I shouldn't have done too. But that's why I'm here, to at least try and make up for some of it. All of it if I can.”
There are a few moments of silence.
“I understand. I've done some things in my past that I'm not proud of.”
She puts her hand gently on my shoulder.
“You must be really close friends for her to confide in you that much.”
Close enough that we had a daughter together once.
“Yeah, you could say that. We've helped each other through some tough times. She means a lot to me.”
Mrs. Lehane smiles as she takes her hand off my shoulder.
“I can see that. I'm glad that she has someone like you looking out for her in her life.”
I can't help but feel really good at hearing her say that. After a few moments, her sad look returns.
“What's wrong?”
She sighs heavily.
“Well, knowing she has someone as great as you looking out for her just makes me wonder about all the things I've missed in my daughter's life. I may have been there for her first steps and her first words. I was there to see her off for her first day of school. Her teachers used to tell me she was a good student you know… before I stopped listening to them that is. But there's this whole part of her life that I've missed. I just can't help but wonder… who was her first kiss? Who was her first boyfriend? Has she even had one? Did he love her and treat her properly? Did she love him? Has she ever even felt love?”
“Yes…”
Mrs. Lehane looks at me with a wondering look.
“I'm sorry?”
Geez, why did I have to say that?
“It's nothing…”
“No, what were you going to say?”
“Nothing I just…. Faith umm… I knew Faith's first um, boyfriend. He was a very good person. He loved her very much and she loved him just as much. They were good to each other.”
Except that he was a she and she was me. I can't tell her that though. I have no idea how she'd react. It's not really my place to out Faith anyway to her mother.
“Oh…”
“I shouldn't have said anything. It's not my place.”
“No, I appreciate it. Can I ask what happened?”
I look at her for a second and she's trying to hold back the expectant look in her eyes.
“You know, it was… just life stuff got in the way. It was a long time ago, I'm sure she'd hate that I'm talking about it with you.”
“Ah… I understand. Well, I'm sorry for her. I guess things don't always work out the way we want.”
I take a deep breath.
“No… they don't.”
Mrs. Lehane looks over in the direction of her daughter for a second.
“Thank you…”
Thank you?
“For what…?”
“For giving me a glimpse into the part of my daughter's life that I missed…”
I smile at Faith's mom.
“No problem… I just hope that she'll do it herself at some point.”
“I hope so too. Will you let her know again that I'm free to talk any time she is?”
“I will…”
Something catches her eye.
“Oh, there's what I was looking for.”
She picks up a movie.
“I should go before Faith comes back.”
“Okay…”
She puts out her free hand in friendship.
“It was good to speak to you again umm, Buffy?”
I take her hand and shake it.
She has really soft hands. They remind me of Faith's. Then again, I guess it's the other way around.
“Yes it's Buffy, and it was nice to see you too. I hope to run into you again Mrs. Lehane.”
“I told you before, feel free to call me Fray.”
“Right, sorry…”
Fray just smiles as she heads towards the counter.
“I'll see you soon.”
I wave in response. After a second I look around the store.
Faith's still over in the horror section, but I catch her eyeing her mom as she reaches the counter. Okay, that'll give me a chance to get the movie I want.
I walk over to the right section, which is actually on the other side of the store from where Faith is.
I know it's here somewhere. It's a classic. I'm sure it's here. Ah, got it.
I pick up a copy and I spy Fray leaving out of the corner of my eye. I smile as she does while she opens the door and goes out into the sunlight. I make my way to the customer service desk as Faith comes at me.
“Hey B, what was going on in the kids' section?”
I wave the movie in front of her face but don't let her take it from me.
“The same thing going on in the rest of the store Faith, I'm renting a movie.”
We make it up to the counter and I hand the movie directly to the clerk.
“What movie?”
I smile at the clerk and I think he gets the message. I turn to Faith as the clerk searches through the movies to get the one I'm renting.
“You'll just have to wait and see.”
I reach into my purse and pull out my wallet. I take my membership card out and hand it to the clerk just before he asks for it. He scans it into the computer and after a second of staring at the screen he speaks.
“That'll be 4 dollars please.”
I take 4 bucks out of my wallet and hand it to him.
“Fine, so what did my mother want?”
She says that with a little bit of venom and I don't really like it but I understand where it's coming from.
“She didn't want anything Faith. She just asked how you were and stuff. There was no evil plotting behind your back or anything.”
Faith kinda glares at me a little but it goes away.
“All right…”
“Enjoy your movie. It's due back on Friday before midnight.”
I take the movie from the clerk and put it in my purse with my wallet.
“Come on Faith, let's go get some pizza and then we can watch this.”
She smiles at me and then we leave the video store.
CHAPTER 29: Old Feelings Die Hard
Faith's POV
I can't believe she did this.
I take a bite of my Hawaiian slice as we watch the movie in Buffy's living room.
I can't believe she rented Lady and the Tramp. I haven't seen this movie in years. This movie is so great. I always loved the whole dogs falling in love thing. It's just so easy for them. They don't have to worry about vampires or demons or anything. They don't have to worry about the end of the world. That would be the life.
I take another bite of my pizza.
Not to mention, they don't have to worry about their mothers' apparently coming back from the dead. Why did she come back? What is she up to if she really is back? Is she even up to anything at all? I just don't know for sure.
I look over at B sitting next to me, watching the movie with a smile on her face.
It's nice to see her smile again. B said that all my mom asked about was how I'm doing. She just wanted to know if I was all right. Where's the evil plan in that? She wants to know about me. She cares about me enough to ask. Maybe there isn't an evil plan. Maybe all she said was true. Maybe all she wants is to get close to me and be family. If that's all she really wants, I might just have to give her a chance.
I go back to watching the movie as the music swells and Pidge and Butch make their way through the town. They stop at Tony's restaurant and that weirdo Italian guy who thinks dogs talk to him comes out. He gives them a table and orders them a plate of spaghetti. Butch and Pidge start eating their meal and those cooks start playing music. I finish off the slice in my hand and reach for another because I'm still hungry. Just as I grab the crust of the last slice of pizza I feel another hand on it. I look over at B and she's smiling at me.
“Did you want that B?”
She pulls her hand away and I'd swear she gets shy.
“Uh, kinda, but I chose the movie. You go ahead.”
We look at each other for a second and smile.
“Tell you what, we'll split it.”
I pick up the knife she brought out to cut any straggling cheese. I cut the pizza slice in half and hand one piece to B. Again our hands touch as she takes it from me. We smile at each other as we both take a bite of our halves. I set my piece down and after another bite, so does B. We go back to watching the movie. A few minutes pass and the dogs wake up the next morning, talking about responsibility and stuff. B slides a little closer to me on the couch.
“I love this movie.”
“Yeah, it's a cool movie, kinda why I liked it so much as a kid.”
“They have it so simple. Nothing really major getting in the way.”
“Just them and the way they feel. I've always wondered what that's like.”
Buffy gets a little closer, leaning against me. I put my arm around her and we sit here watching the movie.
“Must be nice…”
Her hand finds mine. Butch and Pidge walk through the city together on the screen.
It's kinda nice.
I suddenly feel hot breath on my neck. I turn my head to look at B, whose face is inches away from mine.
“B?”
She leans forward and our lips touch, we kiss softly. I move my body to face hers and she does the same. I use my arm to pull her closer to me, deepening our kiss. Buffy's hand goes to the back of my head and she half kneels on the couch, making me lean back and turn my head up to her as we start to make out. I lean back more as she pushes me forward with her free hand. Our bodies press together and I can feel every inch of her against me as I lie down. I push my hips into hers and feel her grind back.
God it's just like I remember it. I'd forgotten how good this feels. Why is it just like I remember? Why is this happening? How did this happen? What are we doing?
After a few more moments, she pulls away and looks down at me in shock.
“I'm sorry…”
She gets off me and the couch, turning away as she runs her hands through her hair.
“I'm sorry… I shouldn't have done that.”
I get up from the couch while she starts pacing back and forth in a panic.
“I'm not even sure why I did that.”
“B, it's all right. It's not like we've never done it before.”
“I-I know… but uh, you, you were right before. Neither of us is ready to jump into anything and… and if we follow what we were doing there, there'll be definite jumping.”
She faces me, a look of confusion on her face.
“Okay, so then we won't jump. You're right… neither of us is ready for any kind of jumping. We should just hold off on the jumping. There's still a lot going on in both our lives right now. And I'm not even sure we should do any jumping even if we were ready to jump. Maybe we can put what happened a minute ago on hold until it's more or less sorted out.”
Buffy kinda clams down a bit.
“Yeah, I think that's a good plan. It hasn't been that long since my mom died and I'm still recovering from it all. I can't just go getting involved with someone after everything that's happened. And I really like this whole friendship thing we have. It's really nice, the friend thing… and I don't want to do anything that would ruin it. I'm, I'm not ready for anything to change between us. I'm not even sure that I want anything to change.”
I close the gap between us and put my hands on her shoulders, calming her down.
“I know B, neither am I... so we'll just hold off on the jumping until we're both ready, until we know whether we're even right for each other anymore. We'll just be friends. I don't want either of us to start hurting the other again. It really wouldn't be good. So… no jumping.”
We look each other in the eyes for a few moments. She leans forward, pulling me into a hug which I return.
“Right… no jumping.”
The movie plays in the background as we stand together in silence. Pulling apart after a few moments, we smile and then start moving back towards the couch. Just as I'm about to sit down she has an idea.
“Hey um how about some ice cream… since we're done with the pizza and all?”
“Uh, sure… I can get it if you like.”
I straighten up to go to the kitchen and she puts a hand in front of me.
“No, don't worry. I got it.”
Buffy makes her way toward the kitchen.
“Do you want me to pause the movie?”
Turning to walk backwards, she faces me.
“That's okay, it's not like I haven't seen it before a couple hundred times. Just sit down. I'll be back in a minute.”
She disappears into the kitchen as I sit on the couch. I try and watch the movie, but my mind wanders back to a few minutes ago.
Where the heck did that come from? That was such a weird moment. I don't really know why I let it go that far. I didn't let it get that far after Joyce's funeral. Why did it happen this time? I mean, I know I'll always love B on some level. What we shared was really powerful and something like that doesn't just go away, but I thought we were both over these kinds of feelings. I guess not…
I glance towards the doorway to the kitchen.
But we do know that neither of us is ready to explore any of those feelings. Especially with everything that's going on with my mother coming back. I'm still not completely sure what I'm gonna do about that.
I hear bowls clanging in the kitchen, followed by the sounds of someone rummaging through utensils.
B would never lie to me about the things my mother said to her in the video store. So maybe my mother really does love me.
She comes in from the kitchen with a bowl of ice cream in each hand.
“You like Rocky Road right?”
Rocky Road…?
“Yeah, I like it.”
Buffy hands me one of the bowls and sits down on the other side of the couch.
“Thanks…”
She smiles at me but then turns her attention to the movie. We try and focus on the movie but it's hard. I catch B looking my way out of the corner of my eye. I eat a spoonful of my ice cream before she speaks.
“So… are you okay with what happened today?”
I look over at B and she's watching me.
“What happened?”
“Running into your mom at the video store and everything...”
Oh…
“Yeah, I mean it was a little weird running into her apparently out of the blue like that, but I guess it was okay. She really didn't ask about those vamps we dusted in Crestview?”
B scoops up some ice cream and eats it.
“Nope, just about you. She asked how you were doing and I told her you were doing fine. She's really hoping you'll talk to her you know.”
I stare down at my ice cream.
“I know.”
“She gave me her number and where she's staying if you wanna give her a call.”
“Not yet, let's just see what Giles says tomorrow. Then, maybe…”
She smiles at me before looking down at her ice cream.
“Okay, if that's what you want. You know I'll support you in whatever you want to do.”
“I know, and I appreciate it B.”
Depending on what Giles says tomorrow, maybe…
CHAPTER 30: Looking for Answers
Buffy's POV
What the heck happened?
I lean back in the chair I'm sitting in at the hospital. I look around Anya's room and sigh as we wait for Xander and the doctors to finish so they can bring Anya back from her latest therapy session.
I was up most of last night thinking about it and I've been thinking about it most of today but I'm still not totally sure what happened. I don't know why I kissed her. It just felt like the thing to do at the time. It felt right. I'm not really sure why it felt right though. With everything that's happened, I haven't felt that way about her in a long time. Ever since Dawn died, I've felt differently towards her. She hasn't given me that horny feeling since what happened to Dawn. And I didn't feel that way last night either. Yet for some reason I felt the need to kiss her. It was a strange feeling, but not really a bad one. I have no idea why it happened.
I look over at Faith for a second, but look away before she notices.
For so long I hated her guts. I felt like ripping her guts out. I really couldn't stand the sight of her. But things have changed now. We've become friends, and it's a really great thing. We aren't more than that. I still don't know why it felt so good to make out with her. No matter how short it was. I don't know what happened. At least we won't be doing any jumping if there is anything between us, which I don't think there is. We can't go jumping into anything.
I take a deep breath.
“You okay?”
I turn to Faith at her question.
“Hmm?”
“Are you okay?”
“Oh, uh yeah… I'm good.”
“I just asked because you looked deep in thought.”
“Yeah, I was just thinking about… life.”
She smiles at me.
“Wanna talk about it?”
I pause for a few moments.
“No, it's all right. It was just random thought stuff, nothing all that important.”
“Okay…”
Just then, the door opens and Giles walks in with three cups of coffee in hand.
“Hey Giles… thanks for getting the coffee.”
He hands both of us a cup and keeps one for himself. He looks around the room.
“It's my pleasure. Xander hasn't returned with Anya?”
“They should be here any minute.”
The door swings open and Xander wheels Anya into the room.
“Well speak of the devil.”
Anya scoffs at Faith's comment.
“Oh please, the devil is so much scarier than I could ever have even hoped to be.”
Wait…
“The devil? You know the devil?”
“Duh, anyone who's anyone in the demon community meets him. He makes a point of meeting just about every demon he can, just in case he needs them for his big end of the world. He's all about his big war for humanity, it gets kinda dull after the 200th time you hear it. But don't worry, from what I last heard it'll be at least a thousand years before he can pull it off. You'll be long dead before anything remotely hellish breaks loose.”
Well that's a comfort.
Faith and I look at each other.
“Okay, that's a good thing I guess.”
“He's still one REALLY scary guy, even as a demon I was afraid of him. Now that I'm human, I'd run screaming from the room at the sight of him, assuming I could run at the time. And I've seen some scary things in my life. Sometimes he gets bored and decides to try and tries to kill a whole bunch of people… hence The Crusades, both World Wars, and a couple things I'm not supposed to talk about. Make sure to avoid him at all costs if you can. He really doesn't like good guys… or charades.”
“Duly noted, now perhaps we could get down to the business at hand?”
Giles never was a fan of Anya's weird tangents, even the educational ones.
“Sure Giles, what did you find?”
“I have discovered some information regarding both topics that were raised at our last meeting. Faith, if you like, we can discuss the topic of your mother in private.”
I look at Faith and she's quiet for a moment before responding.
“It's fine. You guys are like family to me. Kinda makes sense that you'd be here to hear all about my mother. What did you find out?”
Giles pauses for a moment before speaking.
“I contacted The Council's Boston office, which is your hometown is it not?”
Faith nods her head.
“I asked them to look into their records from that period of time. Apparently, around the time of your mother's death the police reported a rash of mysterious grave-robbings. Unlike those of a vampire nature, these appeared to be ritualistic. The Council investigated but it proved inconclusive. The ritual used was in fact a combination of several different rituals. They were able to identify a few of the rituals. Some were resurrection rituals, others involved zombification and reanimation. A number of the rituals were completely unknown to The Council's records at the time. They are still undetermined to this day. Even the darkest of magical beings are hesitant to combine the rituals that were identified because the consequences of even one can be disastrous.”
As Faith and I both found out after I came back.
“Given the oddity of this, The Council was unable to determine who the culprit had been, and the bodies were never recovered so the trail went cold. They did however keep a record of the names on the graves in case the bodies did eventually turn up somewhere. I'm afraid that a Mrs. Fray Helena Lehane was one of the victims.”
There is a chance then.
“So it's possible that my mother was brought back from the dead.”
“Yes, though for what reason I can't be certain.”
What if it's already done?
“Well, maybe it was just a bunch of teenagers messing around with magic they shouldn't have. It's happened before.”
“Perhaps…”
“Or it could be that she already did whatever she was brought back to do. Now she's just herself.”
Faith looks at me for a moment.
“Maybe she is, maybe she isn't.”
She turns back to Giles.
“Any ideas on what's going on? What Omega's guys might be up to?”
Giles takes a deep breath.
“Unfortunately on that front I have been unable to find anything conclusive. I did find one reference that may be of note. The Book of Karameth seems to indicate that it may happen in the near future. It speaks of `she who was at the beginning, shall return for The End', however there is no indication of who `she' is.”
“It could be anyone.”
“It might be my mother.”
“Or it could be you Faith.”
Faith, Giles and I look at Xander.
“Well it's possible isn't it? You said that whoever this person is, she `returns for The End'. You came back to town about a month or so ago Faith. Maybe that's what it means.”
“Xander is correct. Given that the previous prophecy seemed to be about Faith and Buffy, I think it's reasonable to assume that they might be involved in this one as well. Though I'm afraid we do not have sufficient information at this point to draw any definitive conclusions.”
Damn…
We fall into silence for a little while.
“So why not get some?”
Our eyes fall on Anya.
“Some what honey?”
“Information…”
“How?”
“From Faith's mother, she's either in on it or not. Just ask her and find out.”
The direct approach… could be dangerous if she is involved, even though I'm not convinced she is, but it might be the best way to get more information on what could be going on.. Plus it could get the two of them talking.
“Maybe Anya's right.”
Everyone looks at me, though my focus is on Faith.
“Look, Faith…”
I reach out and touch Faith's arm.
“I know you're suspicious of your mom and I understand why. But she's been nothing if not good when we've seen her. It might all be an act, but the only way you'll ever know for sure is if you talk with her. Maybe you should think about getting together with her and talking. It could be our only chance to get more information. I'll go with you if you want.”
Faith looks at the floor for a few moments.
“You're right. At the very least we can figure out if she's a suspect.”
And at the most I can get them talking to each other.
“Do you want to call her or should I?”
She smiles at me.
CHAPTER 31: Building Bridges
Faith's POV
I have no idea what I'm gonna say.
We make our way to the hotel where my mother is staying.
I mean, she basically abandoned me for years. Left me to fend for myself after dad disappeared. How am I going to have a civil conversation with her after doing that to me?
I look over at B walking next to me for a second.
I guess Buffy will stop me if I feel the need to punch her in the jaw. I still have no idea what to talk about though. I know that her dying and maybe being resurrected, if she is who she says she is, wasn't her fault, but knowing that doesn't change the fact that I was alone for more than a few years because of it. It doesn't make it hurt any less. So what exactly do I say to her? How do I talk to her when I know that? I'm just not sure I can. Plus on top of that, B and I have to figure out a way to get her to tell us whether or not she was involved in any bad guy activity since I last saw her. And she may not have even known that it was demonic when she was involved in it. So that makes the whole conversation even harder to have on top of everything else. I don't know that I can do it.
The hotel comes into view about a block away. I stop and stare at it as the sun starts to go down. B stops beside me and I feel a comforting hand on my shoulder.
“You can do this Faith.”
I take a deep breath before smiling at her and putting a hand on hers.
“I know it'll be hard but you'll get through it. And I'll be here through it all for you. The same way you've been there for me the past few weeks.”
We just stare at each other for a minute. She squeezes my shoulder.
“You can do this.”
I smile back and continue to the hotel.
“Let's go…”
We go the rest of the distance and walk through the front doors of my mom's hotel. We head straight for the reception desk.
“Welcome to The Hotel Sunnydale, how can I help you?”
“Uh, hi… we're here to see my mother, Fray Lehane?”
The desk clerk eyes us both as he types stuff into the computer.
“Ah, yes… Mrs. Lehane has indicated that she is expecting guest and I believe she is expecting you in the hotel restaurant. She's reserved a table for three.”
B finally speaks.
“Great, where…?”
The clerk leans slightly over the table to point the way.
“Just go to the end of this hallway and turn left. You can't miss it.”
We both smile at the clerk and make our way to the restaurant.
“This'll be good, right?”
I look to my right at B.
“What will?”
“Meeting in a restaurant and stuff, if things get awkward we can talk about the food or something. And it's not like anything would attack us in a restaurant full of people. Whatever it is probably wants us alone to go after us.”
She has a point.
“Yeah, I guess.”
We find the restaurant and B stops me before we approach the greeter. She doesn't say anything though.
“What?”
She shakes her head.
“Nothing… it's not important.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah…”
She goes up to the greeter and I follow.
“We're here to meet a reservation, Lehane for three?”
He looks over his list.
“Indeed… your companion is waiting for you. Please follow me.”
He brings two menus with him as we follow him into a sea of tables. We pass by a few couples and a few families before we reach our table. My mother looks up nervously from her drink and smiles.
She's drinking again?
“The waiter will be along shortly to take your orders.”
He leaves us alone at the table. Mom stands up to meet us.
“Buffy, good to see you again…”
They shake hands.
“Likewise…”
Mom looks at me, nervously trying to decide what to do.
“Faith, how are you?”
My eyes drift to the drink on the table.
“I've been better.”
She follows my gaze and a sudden look of panic comes over her.
“Oh god, Faith… it's just ginger ale. Believe me, I haven't touched a drop of alcohol since I got my memory back and realized what everyone thought happened to me. Here…”
She picks up the glass and holds it out to me.
“Taste it if you want.”
After a few seconds I take it from her and drink a sip of it.
She was telling the truth.
“It's just ginger ale, see?”
I see both B and my mom smile at each other. I hand the glass back to my mother and she sits down. B and I decide to do the same.
“I understand why you had to taste it firecracker. I wasn't much of a mother back when we were a family, and you have no reason to trust me, back then or now. I've changed though. After everything that's happened it's kind of hard not to end up different than you were before. I know I'll have to earn your trust back, but I'm hoping that with time we'll be able to build at least something. If you're willing, that is.”
She watches me for a reaction of some kind. All I can say is…
“I, I don't know.”
My mother looks down at her drink, slightly hurt.
“I'm sorry, but that's just the way I feel.”
“No, that's all right. I shouldn't expect miracles.”
An uncomfortable silence falls over the table for a while. The waiter finally comes over and breaks it.
“Can I get you ladies a couple of drinks to start you off?”
Probably a good idea…
“I'll have a Coke.”
B orders her own drink.
“I think I'll have a root beer, if you have it.”
The waiter writes down our orders.
“Of course, I will be right back with your drinks.”
He takes the wine list from the table and walks off. Again the three of us are left with uncomfortable silence. Buffy decides to fill it.
“So, what have you been up to since you, left Boston? I was able to pretty much wrestle Faith's entire life story out of her when she first came to Sunnydale. What about you?”
My mother sighs heavily and plays with the straw in her ginger ale.
“Well, I still haven't been able to figure out how I got there, or why everyone thought I was dead, but I woke up one afternoon in a park in Pittsfield, Massachusetts. A man named George found me and took me to the hospital. The police tried to track down who I was but my fingerprints lead to a dead person, so they were stumped. They were suspicious of me for a long time but after a while of not knowing who I was and whether I'd ever get my memory back, I decided to name myself Laura and got a job as a waitress at a truck stop. George got it for me because he knew the manager and we became friends after the hospital. I think he kind of took pity on me at first because of my situation. The doctors said there was a 50/50 chance I'd get my memory back, and after a few years I'd kinda given up hope. But I finally did a year ago after I fell down some stairs while carrying some groceries. When I woke up, I remembered everything and came looking for you and Frank.”
She pauses for a moment.
“And now I'm here firecracker… with you.”
I look down at my sweaty hands.
“Right…”
The silence quickly comes back for a second.
“What about you?”
Me?
“The P.I. told me he could only find out a few vague details about where you've been since Boston.”
Hmm…
I look over at B for a second and she looks back.
“What kind of things did he find?”
“Well… oh…”
My mom stops when the waiter appears out of nowhere with a tray of drinks. He puts one down in front of me and another in front of B.
“That's a Coke for you, and a root beer for the beauty.”
Buffy smiles at the waiter.
“Thank you…”
I give him my own smile.
“Yes, thank you…”
“Are you ready to order?”
The three of us look at each other. My mom turns to the waiter.
“No, not yet…”
“All right then, I'll be back in a while. If you decide you're ready, feel free to flag me down.”
He goes to serve his other customers. I turn back to my mother.
“So what did he find?”
“As I said, he only found a few things. He said he tracked you down to a town called Sunnydale. According to what he found, when you first came to town you were living in a motel across town. Then you went to live somewhere else while working for The Mayor. He couldn't figure out how you ended up working for him, or where you were living during that time though, or how you apparently ended up in a coma for several months, but like I said, things started to get vague once he found out you were here. And then he said ever since you woke up from the coma you've been living here.”
I take periodic sips of my drink while we talk.
“Just from that I can tell you've had an interesting life. I'd like to know more about it if you're willing to tell me.”
I glance at B for a second and she looks just as nervous as I do by my mom's question.
I've never really thought about explaining this to someone who didn't know. I think she figures out it's a touchy subject though.
“We don't have to if you don't want to. I'm just interested in the part of my daughter's life I wasn't around for. If you're not comfortable talking about it with me though, I understand. We can talk about something else.”
Her statement is followed by dead silence. After a few minutes, B and I look at each other and I'm pretty sure I know what she's gonna do.
“Well, it really wasn't anything all that exciting.”
Lie…
“Faith and I met not long after she came here and became friends. One night, we were having a girl's night out and we happened to hear a noise in an alley we were passing. Apparently The Mayor wanted to walk home alone that night and we happened to walk by while he was getting mugged. Faith stepped in and saved him.”
My mother looks at me and smiles.
“You did?”
I kinda shift in my seat and take an extra long sip of my coke.
“Yeah well, I started taking self-defense classes when I came to Sunnydale, which is actually how Buffy and I met, and I felt I had to help. After that, The Mayor decided to hire me as his personal assistant.”
“That was very brave of you.”
“I guess…”
I point at B.
“Buffy was there too, she did her part.”
“Maybe I was, but I wouldn't have if you hadn't insisted we do the right thing Faith.”
I look at Buffy.
She really doesn't have to talk me up to my mom this much, I'm not out to impress her.
“Yeah but…”
All of the sudden I feel really light headed.
“Damn…”
“Are you all right firecracker?”
I shake my head and I feel better.
“Yeah, I think so.”
I feel B's hand on my shoulder.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I'm good. Anyway…”
The light headedness comes back stronger. I try to shake it off but it doesn't work.
“You know, there's patio seating over there. Maybe we should get you some air.”
I shake my head but it still doesn't help.
“Good idea…”
I go to stand up but only get about half way to my feet before my hand slips on the edge of the table and I fall flat on my face. B rolls me over and looks at me.
“Faith…? Are you okay?”
I'm a little too out of it to answer. Just then, B's eyes roll back in her head a little and she falls on top of me, passing out. Everything starts to go black.
CHAPTER 32: Fighting Till The End
Buffy's POV
Ugh… I don't feel so great. I feel like I got hit in the back of the head with a steel baseball bat wrapped in velvet or something.
All my joints ache as I reach behind me and feel the back of my head.
Well, I'm not bleeding so that's good.
I try and shake my head but a massive headache puts a stop to that.
Ow!
I put a hand to my forehead and something cold and metal hits my face.
What the…?
I open my eyes despite the pain and there's a shackle around my wrist. It's attached to a metal chain which I follow to the hook on the wall. I try to use my other hand to grab the chain but I'm stopped half way by the shackle around that wrist.
I'm chained to the wall.
I step away from the wall but my feet are held back by more shackles.
“What's going on?”
I struggle against my bonds but I'm still groggy from whatever happened.
“Don't bother trying to get free.”
I look in front of me and there are at least 5 guys standing in front of me. I think I recognize the middle one when he speaks.
“You should still be pretty out of it from the Mickey I slipped into your drinks.”
It's the waiter from the restaurant.
The waiter was evil? I guess if he's evil then he isn't really a waiter, but I didn't really see that coming. He seemed nice enough.
“And even if you're not, you don't have enough time to stop it anyway.”
Stop it?
“Stop what?”
“The return of our Lord and Master…”
All 5 of them vamp out and part like the sea to reveal Faith's mother standing about 20 feet away, smiling at me like a housewife with a knife in hand and some weird robe on. She waves at me by curling each finger one at a time.
“The all powerful Omega, so he may be with his lover.”
Faith's mom and Omega are lovers?
Just then she moves out of the way of a large slab of stone, and Faith is lying there, shackled to the flat top of some sort of altar.
I think she's still out.
I pull as hard as I can on my chains.
What the hell is going on?
Faith's POV
Damn… what the hell happened? I remember feeling dizzy and needing some air, then B was standing over me, and then nothing. I think I passed out.
“FAITH!?”
That's B's voice. Why is she yelling?
“Faith, wake up!”
I open my eyes and stare up into a massive hole in the stone ceiling. The moon is about 3 quarters of the way covering it.
I'm definitely not in a hotel restaurant. How long was I out? What's going on? And why do I feel like I was hit by a ton of bricks?
I try to get up but I can't. Something is holding my hands and feet down.
“Oh good, you're awake.”
What the hell?
My mom is standing a few feet away in some kinda robe with a knife in her hands. I look around and we're in the cave where I killed Omega.
I'd remember this place anywhere. The world was saved and ended for me at the same time in this place. It's not something you forget.
“I was worried you might sleep through it all and we couldn't continue catching up. That would've made you a very bad girl Firecracker. Thank god for slayer metabolism.”
“What?”
“Yes, I know. There isn't much a mother doesn't know about her daughter.”
I knew it, this thing can't be her. It's just some evil demon thing that made itself look like my mother.
“You're not my mother. She's dead.”
That thing wearing my mother's face comes up and kinda dangles the knife over me.
“Oh no honey, I'm very much alive. It's just that…”
Her eyes meet mine and it's like the air around her shifts.
What the…?
I'm suddenly getting some massive vampire energy off her instead of the human one I had a second ago.
“I've never been quite what I seemed.”
“What are you?”
She grins at me.
“More than meets the eye my little Firecracker, so much more. See I can remember every moment of you squirming inside my belly, your father's humanity giving you that horrible soul of yours that made me sick. I always remember it every time I have one, yet I can't seem to ever stop it from happening.”
She shudders.
“Anyway, I am very much the woman who gave you life. Just like your human father provided the seed that created you, unfortunately, but you have so much more in your blood than humanity. Didn't you ever wonder where your incredible strength came from?”
I glare at her.
“I'm a slayer.”
“Yes, and I'm so very proud of you for that. But you're not like other slayers, and I'm the reason. That's why I had Omega's henchmen create that formula and use that spell on you while you were in a coma. I knew that if I brought out that part of you then you'd have enough power to kill your cute little ex over there.”
She points to where B is chained to a wall. I struggle to get out of my bonds but I'm still a little weak.
“Course she wasn't your ex at the time, but I had my suspicions about you two being `Two into one' from the moment you met. What I didn't count on was the terribly annoying Powers That Be stepping in and screwing it all up with the whole amnesia thing. I figured they wouldn't on account of who your parents are, but they did. So instead you became the greatest slayer since, well, me.”
What? That's a load of crap.
“Now that's bullshit. How the hell could you be a slayer too? And what about the fact that you were buried back in Boston?”
She grins at me with a coldness I've never seen, even back in Boston.
“Well, to answer your second question first… you did bury me back in Boston, that wasn't a hallucination. I just wasn't actually dead at the time, just sleeping. See when I realized there was a chance you would be a slayer, I decided to leave and travel the world for a while. But I couldn't very well just up and disappear, I knew The Council would try and track me down if you ever did become one, annoying little British people. So I decided to use a technique I use every century or two so no one catches on to what I really am. I injected myself with a sleeping potion. And since I knew it would be suspicious of me to rise from the grave, I had my dear sweet Omega's vampires perform a couple spells I learned over the years on random people in Boston cemeteries to make it seem like they weren't there for me. The Council may be a bunch of assholes for what they did to me, but I will admit they've gotten smarter over the years. As for how I'm a slayer… what do you know about The First Slayer?”
The First Slayer…?
“I was never much for history MOM!”
“She was the one who sent Omega out of this dimension.”
Whatever it is that calls itself my mother turns to B.
“Very good Buffy…”
“But she was killed during the battle and after that the next slayer was called.”
“Well, that's the part of the story the Watcher's Council likes to tell, bunch of ungrateful pricks. What they like to leave out is that in order for The First Slayer to do what she did, she had to be up close and personal with Omega and the portal to do it. She was the closest person to Omega at the time he got kicked out of this dimension. And the conveniently `unconnected' story of The First Vampire is that Omega fed off a human before leaving this happy little dimension. And who was closest to Omega at the time? Me, that's who… so here I am. I've spent the last billion years or so as part human, part vampire…”
The air shifts again and there's a new energy from her… a familiar energy, a slayer's energy.
“… and part slayer...”
She does a twirl like she's in a fashion show.
“Which brings us to where we're here…”
“How's that?”
I struggle against my bonds but I'm still too weak.
“Well, you see, my dear sweet Omega and I have had an on again, off again thing going on since about half a billion years ago or so.”
She sighs like she's remembering happy times and then turns to me with that glare.
“That is until you had to go and kill him.”
“Yeah well, you can probably see I'm horribly broken up about it.”
She rolls her eyes.
“Just like you were broken up about your sweet little Dawnie being pushed off that tower.”
I pull at my bonds to attack her but they don't break.
“Don't talk about Dawn that way!”
I look at B as she says that before I can. My mother just laughs at both of us. We struggle to get free but we don't budge.
“You know, I had such high hopes for you my darling daughter. You had the potential to be a truly evil person, especially after you started killing people. But you have too much good inside, too much humanity in you to ever really give in to evil. It's disgusting really, too much of your father in you I suppose. He was always talking about the difference between right and wrong, until I got him drunk anyway. He was always a lot more fun once he was drunk. But you just had to be a good little girl like him and do the right thing.”
She scoffs at the thought.
“You HAD to kill Omega. So now I'm going to have to kill you to get him back. It's kind of poetic if you think about it.”
My mother looks up at the huge hole in the ceiling and I follow her gaze while trying to get loose. The moon is almost completely covering the hole.
“Looks like it's almost that time…”
She grabs my shirt and starts cutting it off me with her knife. I squirm to try and stop her but there isn't much I can do.
“What are you doing?”
She takes what's left of my shirt off me and then starts cutting into my pants. I hear B struggle and scream in vain.
“Stay away from her!”
Mom just chuckles at Buffy's plea.
“I'm making sure you don't get blood on your clothes honey. I always taught you to be cleanly Firecracker, you know that. The ritual calls for the blood of the one who killed him to be sacrificed on an altar in the place where he was killed. Then the real ritual can begin.”
As she pulls off the last of my pants, the ground starts shaking. It isn't long before the whole place is shaking.
“It's time…”
Then I feel it, the blade slices into my skin above my shoulder. I hold back from screaming as she cuts my other shoulder. I can feel the warmth of my blood on my skin as she cuts me just above the elbow on each of my arms.
“I'm sorry Firecracker…”
I feel a little weak as she cuts me in two places below the ribs.
“But Omega is a lot more important to me than you ever will be. And ritually spilling the blood of the one who killed him until they're dead is the only way to begin to bring him back.”
I feel a worse kind of light headed as the knife slices into each of my wrists. My eyes get blurry and it's hard to breathe. The world starts to fade around me.
“Screw you Mom…”
Everything goes black.
Buffy's POV
I pull as hard as I can on the chains holding me against the wall as I see that THING cut up Faith's pants.
I can't let this happen. I can't let her kill Faith and bring back Omega.
I pull hard on my bonds but again they don't budge. My head is starting to feel better but I don't think I'm up to full strength yet.
I have to save Faith though. I don't care if she is The First Slayer and The First Vampire or whatever. I'm gonna kill her for doing all this. She's going to sacrifice her own daughter to bring back the worst demon in the world. The one that killed me... I can't let that happen. There has to be a way to stop it.
I pull on my chains but it doesn't do anything. All of the sudden the place starts shaking. I hear Fray say two words.
“It's time…”
No, it can't be.
I pull with everything I am on my chains. I feel the chains give a little.
Yes…
I pull a little harder and they give more. The five vamps in front of me have kinda turned around and stopped paying attention to me. The shaking of this cave gets so bad that pieces of the cave ceiling are falling. I make one last try at my chains with as much power as I can muster and they come off the wall. Immediately I drop into a crouch and pull at my ankle chains. They break a lot easier.
My strength must be coming back. I don't know if it's enough to stop that bitch who calls herself Faith's mother, but I have to try. Faith was right about her. I should never have trusted her. Faith was more of a mother to Dawn then Fray will ever be.
I can see Fray cutting into Faith as I come up behind the five vamps, my chains in hand. I raise my hand and swing the chain at the vamps, hitting the one that drugged us in the back of the head. He goes down hard as the other four turn to me. Again I raise my hand above my head, swinging the chain in a circle to keep them at a distance as they surround me. I glance over at the altar and Fray has stopped cutting Faith.
I have to get to Faith, fast.
One of the vamps attacks and I swing the chain at him, smacking him in the side of the face. Two of the vamps are crushed as a piece of the ceiling comes down on them. I knock the other one out with a couple fists to the face and a swing of the chain.
Now to save Faith…
I turn to Fray who is standing between me and Faith. I grip the chains in my hands tightly.
“Let her go!”
“You're too late bitch. It won't be long before my daughter joins little Dawnie and her mother in the great beyond. Then the rest of the ritual can begin.”
My fists clench so hard that I think I might break my hand.
“I'm gonna kill you a little more than usual.”
I rush at her, swinging the chains. She ducks my first few swings but when she blocks the next, it wraps around her wrist. I twist the other chain around my hand like brass knuckles as I pull her towards me and hit her right in the face. She stumbles back but recovers quickly and grabs the chain around both our wrists and pulls me forward. I duck her first punch as I stumble forward but get my balance back enough to tackle her at the midsection to the ground. As soon as we hit the dirt she kicks her feet up into me and I go flying, jerked to the ground by the chain.
Ow!
After a second I do a break dance spin to bring my foot down on Fray's shoulder. The cave where Omega was killed continues to shake as I twist her arm at the wrist with my foot firmly pressed to her shoulder.
“How could you do this, to your own daughter?”
She looks up at me, despite the pain.
“She did it to Dawn. This isn't any different.”
I twist her arm more while undoing the chain from her wrist.
“It IS different.”
She pulls her feet up and I have to roll away to keep her from kicking me. We face each other again.
“She killed Dawn to save the world. You're killing her to destroy it. Faith loved Dawn like a daughter, what's your excuse?”
She comes at me and I dodge her punch, kicking her in the back of the knee. She goes down on one knee long enough for me to get behind her and wrap the chain around her neck. I pull back on the chain and force my foot into her back for more leverage. She grabs at the chain as she starts to choke.
I separate my arms to hurt her a little more and feel her neck squeeze under the pressure. She bleeds a little where the chain digs into her neck. I add to the pressure by pushing my foot into her back more and her spine starts to crack in her neck. With one final tug I pull my arms as far apart as they'll go, separating her head from her body. I let go of the chains as her body falls limp to the floor, setting itself on fire before dusting.
Faith…
I run over to the altar where Faith is lying as the cave stops shaking.
Oh god…
“Faith…?”
I check her neck for a pulse.
It's barely there.
“Faith, don't die…”
I break the shackles holding her to the altar.
“God Faith don't you dare die on me.”
I cradle her head in my hands and check to see if she's breathing.
“You're all I have left.”
CHAPTER 33: All Good Things...
Buffy's POV
Thank god…
I squeeze Faith's hand as I listen to the steady beeping of Faith's heart rate monitor.
Thank god she's gonna be all right. I don't know what I would've done if she had died in that cave. She's all I have left. She's been with me through so much. We've gone through hell and back in the time we've known each other. It would be horrible and unfair for us to lose each other now.
I take a deep breath and watch her sleep peacefully.
Things were actually getting pretty good. I was starting to really feel okay with the fact that my mother was gone, and Dawn. I guess I should've figured that something bad would happen. I just never thought it would've been Faith's mother that was the bad.
Faith shifts in her hospital bed and I wait to see if she wakes up. She doesn't.
The doctors said it was really touch and go yesterday when I brought her in. There were a few moments where she almost died. They thought she might slip into a coma from all the blood loss. I'm so glad she didn't. If she had gone into a coma again, I probably would've gone insane. I still need her. She's my friend and I care about her. I need her to help me figure out what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life. And now, she needs me too. Finding out that her mother is evil will be really hard on her when she wakes up. She's gonna need someone to help her. She's gonna have a lot of questions. The gang and I will help her find the answers for her.
Again she stirs but doesn't wake up.
I'll be there to help her deal with those answers too. No matter what the answers are, she'll have someone with her. Someone to comfort her when she's sad, and have fun with her when she's happy. Just like I know she'll be there for me if I ever need her for something. We care about each other too much not to.
Faith moans as she slowly opens her eyes. She looks around the hospital room before her eyes fall on me. We smile at each other.
“Hey…”
“Hey B…”
There's a silence between us as we stare at each other for a moment.
“How are you feeling?”
She groans and throws her head back against the pillow.
“Like crap…”
I chuckle at what she says.
“Well, you probably should after what you've been through. You lost a lot of blood. The doctors said you almost didn't make it. I was really worried about you.”
Faith looks down at her hands and sees the bandages on her wrists.
“So was I. I didn't think I'd make it either, after what she…”
She stops mid sentence and just looks at her wrists. Silence spreads throughout the room except for the beeping of the heart monitor.
“But at least you're alive though right? We survived.”
She pulls her head up and smiles my way.
“Yeah, I guess we did. What happened though? How did we survive exactly? The last thing I remember is bleeding to death while you were chained to a wall.”
“Yeah, when the cave started to shake I think it weakened the hold on the wall. I got some of my strength back then managed to break free and… save you.”
She takes a deep breath.
“Oh, thanks…”
I squeeze her hand gently.
“No problem… it's not like you wouldn't have done the same for me.”
She smiles at me and then lays her head back on her pillow.
“That's true.”
We fall into silence together for a while.
I know she's going to ask.
Faith takes a long deep breath.
“What happened to…?”
She stops short of saying the words.
“Your mother…?”
She nods my way.
“I… I stopped her.”
Faith looks down at her feet with a sad look for a second.
“I'm sorry…”
Her eyes meet mine.
“For what…? You did what you had to for the world, if anyone would understand that Buffy, it's me.”
My gaze drops to her hand in mine.
“I guess you would. But I'm still sorry. She was your mother. Or at least, she said she was.”
I feel her hand gently squeeze mine and I look at her.
“I know, but even if she was, she was trying to destroy the world, and I can't hate you for saving the world B. I would've done the same thing.”
We stare into each other's eyes and I remember what's in my pocket. I use my free hand to take it out.
“Speaking of which, I wanted to give this back to you.”
I hold out the necklace chain with Dawn's ring on it.
“I found it in your clothes when I was making pieces to stop the bleeding.”
I put it in the hand I'm holding and she grips my hand, pressing it gently to both our palms.
“Thank you…”
I smile at her as I feel the ring between us. She takes a long deep breath.
“So… what happens now?”
Now?
“Well, I could go get a doctor, but I think they want you to get lots of rest and recover.”
She laughs.
“Sounds good, but I was talking more about after that.”
Oh…
“Right, well, I guess we just… try to get on with our lives. However the hell we do that exactly. Then we just wait for the next disaster to happen and deal with it.”
We both chuckle this time.
“Way to stay positive B.”
“Hey, at least it's a workable plan.”
She smiles.
“True… I like it.”
I put my other hand on Faith's and I gently close hers around Dawn's ring.
“I'm gonna go tell the doctors you're awake. Giles, Xander and Anya should be here soon.”
I stand up.
“I'll be back.”
“Okay…”
I make my way to the door.
“Hey B…?”
I turn back and face her.
“Yeah…?”
“Thanks…”
“For what…?”
She smiles.
“For being here…”
I smile back.
“There's nowhere else I'd want to be.”
I turn around and head out the door.
Everything really is going to be okay.