The Learning Of Pain
by Clarissa
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Joss owns them! Not me. Oh how I wish I did; Lol! Enjoy!
***BUFFY'S POV***
And here I am yet again. Out at night in the cemetery all alone, just waiting for a vamp to show up. But not just any regular vamp tonight, this one is special. This one is someone to me, someone I know and love dearly. She was something to me. Her name? Faith. She's the vamp I'm looking for. Yes, she is a vampire and my girlfriend even though I am a slayer.
She wasn't always a vampire you know. She was human until I made a mistake. I let her get turned by some vampire whilst I was busy with another one.
I feel so stupid!
I feel so guilty.
And now she's one of those...THINGS! Those things that we both promised to kill side by side.
Now I have to kill HER. I don't want to, I really don't. She is everything to me. She's my world. If she dies...so do I.
But it has to be this way. She has to die and I have to do it. Only me. This is my fight.
"Well, well," a voice says from behind me. Though in a sweet tone, it has coldness in it. It bring chills to my spine; both good and bad. I haven't seen or heard her voice in six weeks. In some way it feels good and comforting to hear it.
I turn around and see Faith by a headstone leaning on it with one of her sexy, cocky smirks on her lips. But I know it's for a whole different and bad reason.
"Faith," I stated with difficulty, trying and staying emotionless.
She stands away from the headstone, but doesn't walk to me. Not yet. She wants to play with me a little bit. Like she did for the last six weeks; stalking me, my friends and killing every innocent person she could get to get me to her and piss me off.
"What brings you to this neck of the woods, little girl." Faith grinned drawing little circles on the cold stone. "It's not safe out here, B. You need to be careful. The last thing you need is you to become one of them now, huh?"
"Shut up!" I snap. It hurt me to say that to her regardless of her teasing. "You can't talk like her! You don't deserve to call me by the nickname SHE gave me!"
The demon laughed at me sauntering towards me. With that little smirk on her lips, she stopped a few paces from me. Looking me straight in the eyes with a gently loving look, it said mocking in its tone, "But baby I AM her. I'm Faith, I love you."
And I know she's just saying that to hurt me. And it does. It hurts really badly inside my heart.
"Stop it," I almost say in a begging voice, but I can't do that. I'll give her what she needs and she wants to see me in pain.
"Buffy, please, don't you recognize me!?" It pleads sounding just like her and it only kills me more inside. She falls to her knees in front of me, placing a hand on my waist as she speaks. "I love you...I love you." She cries over and over again.
And I finally give in. I wrap my arms around her, running my hands through her hair. Closing my eyes and taking in the warmth that I still get from her cold body, I savor the moment. It only last for a second, but it feels like forever to me.
She upper punches me in the chin making me fly back. Her sickening chuckle filling my ears now. I get up clearing my head to see her in her true form. With sharp beastly like teeth and yellow piercing eyes.
Definitely not the girl I love.
I manage to get up and she walks to me.
"You're so pathetic B! You should know better," Faith tisked at me wagging a finger at me and smiling. "I'll tell ya what, I'll give you a shot...right now...stake me." She spreads out her arm puffing out her chest for my stake to go through.
I hold my stake tightly thinking about doing it. I want to, yet I don't. No I do. I run up to her my stake out and going a full speed, aiming for her once beating heart that is now cold and dead. And I get it. Right on its mark. In her heart; through her skin.
Except there's no poof; no pile of dust. Why?
Because I didn't do it. I didn't stake her.
I stopped, I couldn't do it and I feel ashamed because of it.
Faith's just grinning at me and she puts her arms by her side. "You couldn't do it. You CAN'T do it. Why's that, B?" It asked using Faith's voice.
I say nothing. I look at her beastly face that I'm learning to hate so much now.
"I think I like this face better," she laughs, turning to HER human face. Knowing it would be harder for me to kill her looking at it. "Tell me B, why couldn't you do it? Why couldn't you stake me?" She walks to me circling me again, as I stand watching her with my eyes. "Why? WHY B?!" It repeats, annoying me.
"Because I love you!" I yell, ashamed at myself. Ashamed that I couldn't do one simple thing; I couldn't kill her.
She smiles at me wickedly and chuckles. "That's right!" She yells into the air "You LOVE ME! That's a shame there, slayer. It really is." She paces and I watch on guard just in case she strikes. "You're pathetic, letting love blind you like that."
I feel so empty inside, so hollow.
"Ha, don't worry you'll learn, B." She chuckles again, her eyes on the ground as she walked and stopped. Then looking up at me with an empty, cold, hard stare from her eyes, she whispers, "And you'll learn well," as she lunges at me.
I managed to move from the attack, making her run into the headstone in front of her.
"Smart." She laughs still using Faith's voice. I hate that. It hurts me more.
She gets up striking at me again and this time she hits her target, bringing me to the ground. Hard. She has the upper hand and I desperately try to get back in control. I stand and I do. I start throwing punches at it.
She takes them, but not for long. She pushes me off her and kicks me in my stomach, knocking the wind out of me.
"Poor, B. All lost and alone. You want your Faith back, baby?" It teases at me, looking down on me. "Don't worry, Buffy, I'll make it better." The demon laughs at me, giving me a chance to attack back.
I get up my stake ready to kill - not fast enough. I didn't even see it coming until she did it to me.
I feel a sharp, burning, aching pain in my gut.
She smiled at me as I stood, hunched over and in complete pain. I look down at myself and see it. I see the knife, in my stomach, with thick red lines of blood coming down from the deep wound.
I look up at that thing, knowing it wasn't my Faith. The girl I love would never hurt me. She promised me that.
I gather all my strength and punch her in the face twice, dazing it. I lift my stake and drive it down home, for real this time.
The look on her face hurts me so much.
A look of pain and disbelief flashed on my Faith's face.
She puts her hand through my hair and I lean into it, taking comfort from it. She kisses me softly and slowly and I savor that moment as well. Running a hand in her thick raven hair, with the other on her waist, she backs away from me. I can see so much pain in her eyes and I hate that she has to feel it.
That she has to feel so much pain because of me.
"I love you," she whispers lovingly and she turns to dust in front of me.
She's dead. She's gone. All gone and I'm so empty.
My world shattered, just as hers did.
And I cry. I cry so loud and so much. For her, just for her.
The one true person I love.
The pain is interrupted with a cough.
And I know... I'm slipping. I'm dying.
And I smile. I smile, because I get to see her.
Finally, I get to be with her. To be with Faith. The love of my life. We will meet again so soon.
So I lay on the floor waiting for the darkness to over take me. And it does. I close my eyes, sleeping. Taking my last breath and my last heart beat.
And I'm ok with that, because I know.
We will meet again and truly be happy, for this is the first step.
The first step of...The Learning Of True Pain.