Where You Least Expect It
by Cruel_Slayer
Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Joss owns all characters; I'm just borrowing them for the sake of my own personal enjoyment and perverse hopes.
Spoilers: None. At least I don’t think. Yeah strictly speaking since I haven’t seen any of the new season but that’s when it’s set, kinda.
Author's Note: This idea came about when I read an interview with Whedon where he said that Willow would find a romantic interest within this season in a place she’d never have thought before, it’s a girl and it’d shake her up a little. Everyone knows I’m a staunch believer in B/F but I think my ultimate optimism has finally realised it’ll never happen. So I thought this may be an interesting consideration…
Note #2: A story that contains slash between two characters that I never have even considered writing. It takes place sometime in my B/F universe sometime after the last story. But not immediately, just somewhere after :) So bare that in mind. Some events from Season 6 of Buffy have occurred in this time cos I needed them to :) So Willow still killed Warren due to Tara’s death and this tale is sorta about her returning to the fold. But other stuff didn’t happen. Haven’t seen season 7 yet so I do apologise for any lapses in continuity. But this is my AU and I’m god :) But yeah, Buffy never slept with Spike, Dawn doesn’t exist and never has in my AU etc, etc. Read my other shit again to refresh :) If it all gets too confusing I’m sorry. But this is gonna get twisted and there may even be some hetero happening in here too as well as the slash :) Don’t think there will be too happy an ending.
Feedback: Feedback is like totally and gratefully appreciated if you think I suck please do tell me. I really wanna know what anyone who reads this one thinks. So feed me, feed me now!

It’s been three months and she still doesn’t trust me. I see her watching me and I hear the disgust, well maybe that’s not the right word, but there’s something in her voice whenever she talks that suggests that I’m never going to be completely forgiven. I guess I can’t blame her. I did terrible things, things that I can’t even comprehend. But I went away, I thought a lot, I struggled a lot and I came out on the other side pretty much back to normal. However normal I was in the first place.

“Deep in thought?”

“Huh?” Willow looked up and saw Xander, arms full of weapons walk into the living room.

“You looked lost in space Will.” He said placing the weapons into the chest he had made Buffy for her birthday.

The red head closed the book she hadn’t been reading anyway and stretched, “Yeah, I guess I was. When are you leaving?”

“Thanks Will, make a guy feel welcome.” Xander teased slouching down into the couch.

“Sorry. That came out wrong. I just meant, when are your babysitting duties relieved?”

Xander looked at his oldest friend soberly and thought carefully about what he was going to say, “Will, it’s not like that. You know that don’t you?” When she didn’t answer, merely looked at her hands intently, he stood and walked over to where she sat. Crouching to look her in the eye he spoke softly, “Come on Willow…”

“Come on what Xander?” the former witch interrupted, “Nobody trusts me to pee alone, never mind leave the house.”

“That’s really not true.”

“Fine. I’m going out.” Willow rose and watched as Xander’s face betrayed the words he had spoken all of two seconds ago, “Your face says it all.” Willow sighed and walked to the bottom of the stairs, “I’m going to lie down.” The red head climbed the stairs and left her guard to gape in a confusion of guilt and concern.

“What’s going on X man?”

Xander jumped and turned around to see Faith leaning against the arm chair Willow had been sat in, “Jebus Faith, how many times have I asked you to stomp your feet when entering a room?”

The brunette chuckled a little, “Sorry. Can’t help being slayer stealthy. I do believe I’m here to relieve you so you can get back to the job that pays you so handsomely.”

“Don’t say relieve.” Xander frowned and sighed as he picked up his jacket from the couch.

“Uh, okay…” Faith stepped towards him and tried to figure out why her comment had pissed him off so badly, “What happened?”

“Nothing.” Xander said thinking about just forgetting the whole conversation, but in the end didn’t see the point, “Well, not nothing. Willow’s upset. I can understand why. She’s hardly left the house alone, or been in the house alone for that matter since she came back from England. Faith, she’s hurting and she just wants us to trust.”

“I can understand that.” Faith said looking round the room rather at Xander. ‘Hell’ she thought, ‘I can understand that better than anyone’.

“I figured you would. But what do we do? Buff doesn’t want her left alone. Those were her exact words.”

The southie slayer placed a reassuring hand on Xander’s arm, “B isn’t always right Xander. I thought you more than anybody would know that. Sometimes her judgement isn’t the best. And then other times…”

“It’s her judgement that saves us all?”

“Pretty much.” Faith sighed; she knew Buffy was being over cautious over this. Willow had proved herself to be on the right side of redemption. But Faith knew more than anyone how hard it could for Buffy to trust you again and unfortunately it was Buffy’s world they all seemed to exist in. “Go on,” she started, looking Xander in the eye, “get outta here. I’ll go talk to Willow. Make sure she’s not brooding too much.”

“Thanks. I’ll call later.” Xander gave Faith’s shoulder a friendly squeeze and headed for the front door.

*****

Faith retreated to the kitchen after Xander had left and decided to make some tea. It would seem that some of Giles’ habits had rubbed off onto Willow when she had joined him in England. The younger slayer figured that taking tea as a peace offering upstairs might be the best way to start a conversation. The brunette couldn’t help but worry, she so badly wanted to tell Willow that she knew how she felt, but she never had been good with words and they had never been the closest of friends. When Tara died Faith knew it wasn’t going to end well, but never thought Willow could cross that line that she herself had stepped over so many times. If Buffy could forgive her for killing innocents why was she having such a hard time forgiving Willow for killing a killer, someone who had in fact shot Buffy and almost killed her. Possibly it was the brutality, the madness that followed, that put Buffy and Faith in danger and almost killed Giles. But then, Giles had forgiven her too. Even going as far as getting the battered girl to England to somehow be rehabilitated with a coven he knew of. Taking time, so much needed time; out from looking for the third slayer to make sure she didn’t loose herself to the grief and the madness. There was no doubt that Buffy had forgiven her a lot, but it was that little bit of distrust left that would be eating Willow alive. Faith knew that all to well. But unlike their situation, Buffy just couldn’t kick the shit out of Willow and then kiss and make up.

All these things kept running through Faith’s head as she climbed the stairs and stepped purposefully to Willow’s door. Giving a light knock, she called through the wood, “Hey Red, it’s me. I come bearing tea.”

“It’s open.”

The brunette opened the door and found Willow sat cross-legged on her bed, staring at a photo album, “Hey.” She handed the mug of tea over to Willow who seemed happy enough at the gesture.

“So the changing of the guard took place in my absence? You guys aren’t quite as impressive as the guys at Buckingham Palace, but better looking.” Willow sipped her tea and looked at Faith unapologetically.

“Okay, offended and not. Nice one Red. You can’t quite be mean so you gotta throw in a sort of complement to lift the guilt of the barbed comment. It’s a complex mind you’ve got.” Faith grinned and sat on the edge of the bed, “Xander said you were feeling a little off this afternoon. Want to talk?”

“With you?” Willow saw the instant effect her words had and tried to back peddle a little bit, “Sorry, that came out wrong. I just mean, that, well, you know, it’s just…”

“It’s okay Willow.” Faith said getting off the bed, “I’ll just head downstairs and leave you to it.”

“No wait. Faith, really.” Willow pleaded a little. She did want to talk; it was just she couldn’t think of a time that she’d actually had a proper, meaningful conversation with Faith about anything. They hadn’t been the closest, but it wasn’t like she disliked Faith in any way these days. The red head had a feeling that Faith would get what she was feeling in more than one way, what it’s like to have killed in cold blood…what it was like to be on that side of Buffy’s nature.

An awkward silence fell between the two of them, “She liked you y’know.” Willow blurted out; it was just something to say to break the silence. She looked sadly at a photo of Tara in the open album upon the bed.

“I know.” Faith said quietly as she sat back down and followed Willow’s gaze to the photo album, “She was the only one who ever thought to give me a chance. Well after Buffy of course.” The silence fell between them again,

“I understand.” Faith paused, “A lot more than you probably think I do.” The brunette traced the pattern on the comforter as she spoke. “I know what blind rage can do to you, I understand what your motivation was Will. But it wasn’t meant to happen to a person like you. You shouldn’t have had to go there.”

“There was no where else to go.” Willow spoke quietly, finding it hard not to choke on the large lump that had formed in her throat.

“That’s the thing tho’. There was somewhere else to go. You just chose the easy option.”

“You think that it was easy!” Willow snapped.

“I know it was easy.” Faith looked up from the comforter to meet Willow’s eyes and she would have been lying had she said what she saw there hadn’t unsettled her. Transparent in the red head’s usually soft and friendly eyes, was a harsh, raging, intent that Faith had seen reflected in a mirror once too many a time. Faith faltered for a moment and when she finally found her voice, she spoke in as calming a tone as she could, “I know how easy it is to go with your basic instincts than it is to suppress them and do things the right way.”

“I don’t think our situations are the same though Faith.” Willow stood and began to pace the room a little, stopping to stare for a moment out the window, before pacing again.

The brunette couldn’t help but flinch, “I know that too Willow. I know I killed innocent people. You were justified in taking Warren’s life. But it doesn’t mean you didn’t go about it the wrong way.” Faith stood and made towards the door, “All I meant was to be an ear for you to talk to since no one else wants to talk about this whole situation. I know what it’s like to kill another human being and I know what that does to your insides, be them innocent or not.” The younger slayer felt her face flush with anger and frustration at how badly she had handled this situation, “I’m going for a smoke,” was all she could mutter as she left Willow to pace further.

*****

‘Way to handle the situation Slayer,’ Faith thought as she lit a cigarette and paced the back porch of the house, ‘That’s why you don’t talk to people, you stay to what you do best, loving Buffy and killing things that should be dead.’ For a moment Faith stared at the tip of the burning cigarette, she sat down on the back step heavily and let out a deep sigh. Loving Buffy. She didn’t even seem to be able to get a grip on that at the moment either. The blonde slayer was working long hours, odd shifts and the shitty low-income job she had, and Faith had just been fired for mouthing off about something she shouldn’t have. The brunette placed her arms over her knees and lowered her head, closing her eyes. Money was tight, to try and make up for her monumental fuck up of being fired Faith had taken on all the slaying duties, letting Buffy sleep or work instead. That made Faith pretty tired and pretty cranky; she slept most the day when she should have been looking for a job. If she wasn’t sleeping or slaying she found she was on her own. Things were strained between them no doubt and the difference in opinion over how Buffy was handling the Willow situation was not helping.

“I thought you’d quit?”

“Shit!” Faith jumped up as she dropped the cigarette she’d been holding onto her sneaker.

“Sorry.” Willow apologised.

“It’s okay.” Faith sighed, knitting her brow and sitting back down again. “You just startled me is all, I thought you might be Buffy coming home from work.”

“She’d kill you if she caught you still smoking.” Willow stated the obvious as she sat down on the back step next to Faith.

“Tell me about it.” Faith lit up another cigarette and took a deep draw, “Listen Will..”

“It’s okay. I know. I should apologise, not you. You were only trying to help.” She sighed, “Saying sorry is something I seem to do a lot at the moment.”

The brunette couldn’t help but chuckle, “Seems like the only thing you ever say huh?” Willow nodded, “Yep, I can remember that one.” Faith knocked the end of her cigarette carefully into a crack in the wooden board of the step, “When you’re as monumental a fuck up as me then sorry is the key word in your vocab.”

“You’re not a fuck up Faith.”

“I’m not? Think of my past.” The brunette laughed and soon the red head’s laughter joined her.

“Good point. How did you do it?” Willow asked, watching as Faith flicked the butt of her spent cigarette over the fence.

“Do what?” the younger slayer looked at her quizzically.

“How did you get into everyone’s good graces again?”

Faith shrugged, “Lots of grovelling…I don’t really know. You were there, how did I do it?”

A look of sadness came across Willow’s face as she thought, “For me, it was Tara. She convinced me you were trying.”

“I probably would have killed Warren myself had I not learnt restraint, or had Buffy to teach me restraint.” Faith placed a reassuring hand on Willow’s shoulder.

“How did you get back into Buffy’s good graces?” Willow asked quickly changing the subject back to the original topic before she could start to think too deeply.

Again Faith couldn’t help but let out a little chuckle, “I let her kick the shit out of me, then I kissed her. Or something like that.”

Willow blushed a little, “I doubt that’d work for me.”

“No.” Faith agreed, “Plus then I’d have to kick the shit out of you for kissing her.”

“How are you two doing?” Willow asked tentatively, “I hear you y’know, arguing about…about stuff. Walls aren’t too thick.”

The brunette sighed deeply, “We’re, um, Will I honestly don’t know. She’s so distant. Since Giles left and she had to work harder to cover my stupid fired ass…” Faith trailed off and bit her lip. It’s funny how things play over in your head, but when you say them out loud they seem so much more real and more of a problem.

“I’m sorry if I’m adding to the problem.”

“You’re not. Well not really. It just seems like another excuse for her to argue against me.” Faith kicked at the ground with the toe of her sneaker and ran her hand through her hair. “I know she wants to forgive you for putting us all in danger and everything but there’s just something that won’t let her. She won’t tell me what and I can’t figure it out.”

...to be continued...