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Cordy Hates Buffy

by Davids21
Rating: NC-17

Disclaimer: Joss owns the characters. I am merely taking them for a spin.
Spoilers: End of season 5 and what I have seen for season 6.
Author's Notes: If you are just starting, please read my first two story arcs. Pictures and its untitled sequel. Both of which can be found on Wicked and Divine. Feedback would be greatly enjoyed. If I ever got any :( < > = means that Buffy and Faith are using their connection. ** = means regular thoughts. >< = dream sequence.
Thanks: I honestly have to thank my friend Tony for quitting his job at the record store. Without that I would have been given access to his cd collection that he was giving away and I would have never gotten the M2M Cd which houses the song I used in this story. And Nikita for answering her email when I send it:)

Cordelia sat in the booth at the diner. It was a little strange to be in the place that had been the start of the current stress in her life. After the whole Faith deal, Cordy had been on the outs with the gang. Her side of the story didn’t matter because only Faith and Buffy were allowed to make mistakes.

And it was a mistake. Not that she didn’t enjoy the time she spent with Faith but how come it was okay for her to go nuts and try kill Buffy’s little sister. And how come it was fine and dandy for Buffy to go all ‘grr arrgh’ and almost blow up LA? Why did the slayers always get a free pass? Cordelia sighed.

This was all stupid. Ever since she met Buffy and band of losers she had been (in no particular order) impaled, shot at, threaten, pregnant, punched, given splitting headaches, made a slave, put in a coma, and lost all her money. Okay the last one wasn’t Buffy’s fault but y’know, who wants nag over the details.

She was happy with her life, though. It wasn’t all bad. It wasn’t all good but you gotta work with what you were given and Cordy was given more than most people. The waitress came over and sat down the cup of coffee had ordered. She smiled politely and poured some sugar into it.

Cordy watched from her booth as she saw a familiar blonde make her way into the diner. It was Buffy. She was wearing a white tank top which showed off her midsection. Her jeans were a dark blue and flared.

Cordelia looked at her own outfit. An old hockey jersey and jeans. Yep, she was on the cutting edge of fashion today. She saw Buffy looking around for her.

Cordelia quickly looked out the window to pretend that she didn’t see the slayer come in. Buffy spotted her and walked over to the booth.

“Hello, Cordelia.” Buffy said as she sat down.

*Cordelia? Well someone is all business.* “Hello Buffy. How’s everything?”

“Good. How about you?”

“Can’t complain. Did you want to get something? Coffee?”

Buffy shook her head. “No. Look, we are both adults. We should be able to talk about this.”

*Great she’s in holier than thou mode.* “You’re right.”

“So then why did you do it?” Buffy said as the waitress sat a cup of coffee down in front of her.

“Listen, I am not going to sit here and defend what I did. I didn’t even know you two were together like that.” *Not true but she doesn’t need to know that.*

The slayer took a sip from her mug. “That’s not what Faith said.”

“Bullshit. She wasn’t acting like it. Besides Faith’s a grown up. If she wanted to see other people, then you should respect that.”

“She wasn’t in her right mind and you took advantage of that.”

“I did? Or is that just your rationalization of it? Faith can do no wrong. Is that it?”

Buffy’s eyes locked onto Cordelia’s. “No, that isn’t it at all.”

“No that is it. Faith goes nuts and tries to kill you and your sister. Faith came to LA and slept with me.”

“You didn’t try to stop her.”

“Did you? You let her leave Buffy. Not me. You. Stop trying to pass your mistake off on me.”

“My mistake? Cordelia you violated my trust. That isn’t something I take lightly.”

*Take lightly? Who does she think she is?* “You never trusted me.”

“What?”

Cordelia sat down her cup and looked at the woman in front of her. “You never trusted me. Ever. Even when I was going out with Xander, you kept me at arm’s length. Like I wasn’t worthy of a scooby membership. I was just the default member. That’s even worse than being a zeppo. I’m like Rebbie Jackson.”

“That’s not true and you know Cordelia. You made yourself the outsider. You distanced yourself from us. But I always spoke to you. You just didn’t bother to listen. Ever.”

“Sure, you spoke. But you never tried to get to know me. You never invited me to come over your house or even to study with you. The only time you ever did anything was when you were saving us from something.”

Buffy sat back in her seat. “That’s not true.”

“You know it is Buffy. You know it is.” Cordy took a sip of her coffee.

“Ok. But that was high school. That still doesn’t explain why you slept with Faith.” Buffy sat up. Almost challenging Cordelia to explain herself out of it.

Cordelia leaned against her seat. At the time, being with Faith was one of the most amazing things she had ever experienced. She couldn’t put it into words the way that Faith made her feel that day or that night. In fact she hadn’t been the same since then. And she hadn’t spoken to Faith since then either. It was like she was just a mistake Faith made on the way. And that she wasn’t important at all.

She took a sip of her coffee. “She made me feel...special. Like I mattered.” *But as soon as you showed up, she forgot all about me.*

Buffy smirked. “That’s the best you can do.”

*I don’t have to explain myself to her.* Cordy got up from the booth and pulled a few dollars from her pocket. “You know what Buffy? I bet it is so easy for you to just laugh off any explanation I give. But I remember when you were the one who slept with someone and the results of that were less than perfect. I slept with her. I liked it. And if I could I would do it again.”

Cordelia tossed her money on the table. “You think you are above making mistakes, Buffy. But at least when I make one, there isn’t a chance of the world ending.”

She then turned on her heels and walked out of the diner before Buffy could even answer.

*****

It had been a few hours since the talk with Buffy. Cordelia decided it would be best if she just went back to her apartment and rested. She had fell asleep on the couch with the radio playing in the background.

>Her breath quickened as Faith’s hands traced over her chest. Gently tracing around her nipples. It was like the slayer knew exactly where to touch her. Soon the raven haired slayer’s mouth was locked on hers. Their tongues forcefully pushing against each other.

Neither women wanted to back down. Both of them were used to getting their way. Faith broke the kiss and smiled at her.

“I see you like to be charge of everything.”

She hears herself answer but can’t seem to make out what she is saying.

Faith laughs. “Just relax, Cordelia. I’ll take care of you.”

Hearing the slayer say her name causes her to relax. Suddenly there is a bed behind her. She sits on the foot of the bed and feels Faith tugging at the waistband of her panties. Her heart flutters as the slayer slides her underwear down around her ankles.

Every muscle in her body contracts as she feels Faith’s tongue slide around her clit. The feeling defies words as two fingers gently push their way into her. Faith starts to rotate her fingers in a circle inside of her walls.

She groans as Faith’s lips gently tug on her clit. She speaks again. Faith looks up at her and gives a half smile.

“I could never be yours. I belong to her.”

She turns and looks. There stands Buffy. The blonde walks over and pulls Faith away from where she was sitting. Buffy and Faith start to walk away. She speaks again. She can hears the sadness in her voice. The loneliness. The desire. Faith looks back at her.

“No matter how right it feels, it could never happen. I’m sorry.”

The slayers disappear and she is left all alone again. Just like before. Just like always.<

Cordelia opened her eyes. It was just a dream. But it was all true. She wanted Faith. She wanted her more than anyone she had ever met. She sat from her spot on the couch and ran her fingers through her hair. Then she heard a song began playing on the radio. For some reason the words seemed to reflect what she was feeling at that moment.

	//I was walking down the street
	Then I saw you I didn’t know what to say
	Your eyes were shining
	Your smile so kind
	When I saw you I wanted you to be mine//

	//Maybe I don’t have the blonde hair you like
	Or maybe I don’t have eyes like the sky
	and I’m not sure if I’m the girl in your dreams
	But I can show you what love means//

Cordy felt a few tears roll down her cheeks. She could never compete with Buffy. They were slayers. They connected on levels no one but them understood. How could she ever be all that for Faith? How could she?

	//One day you came and talked to me
	And you said we are meant to be
	I was happy, everything was so nice
	But then I found out that everything was a lie//

	//Maybe I don’t have the blonde hair you like
	Or maybe I don’t have eyes like the sky
	and I’m not sure if I’m the girl in your dreams
	But I can show you what love means//

	//How could you do this to me
	You said we are meant to be
	You showed me how to cry
	When you told me everything was a lie//

She wiped her eyes and grabbed her pillow. Faith could never be hers. Ever. Only if Buffy had never come to LA looking for her. Then, who knows what could have happened between them. This was all Buffy’s fault. And she hated her for it. She hated her even more because she had the one thing that was never going to be hers.

Faith.

	//Maybe I don’t have the blonde hair you like
	Or maybe I don’t have eyes like the sky
	and I’m not sure if I’m the girl in your dreams
	But I can show you what love means//

...to be continued...

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