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Goodbyes are Forever

by Davids21
Rating: R

Disclaimer: Joss owns the characters. I am merely taking them for a spin.
Spoilers: End of season 5 and wild speculation.
Author's Notes: This is the sequel to my first story 'Pictures'. You should really read that first because this will make no sense. The song is 'Goodbye to you' by Michelle Branch. < > = means that Buffy and Faith are using their connection. ** = means regular thoughts.
Thanks: Once again to Sasha for making Slayer Pride and writing 'A whole new Scene'. Without that story I never would have wrote this. Thanks to Sway for giving crazy support and being my biggest cheerleader. Thanks to Nikita for the detailed feedback and the support. Dacia, sorry I left your name out. You have helped in ways you can't imagine.

Faith and Cordelia sat down on the couch and continued kissing. They had finally gone inside of the hotel after they noticed the crowd standing that had appeared to cheer them on. Faith, ever the showmen gracefully bowed. As did Cordelia. The pair quickly rushed inside.

They sat close to each other. Holding hands and gazing into each other's eyes. Faith tried to think Buffy. Hoping that her memory of the other slayer would be enough to make her want to stop. She closed her eyes and tried to think of Buffy. The things that they had shared and the time they spent together. The funny was though she couldn't remember anything before she came back from the Ghostroads.

"What the…" she muttered as she got from her seat.

Cordelia got up with her. "What is it?"

"I can't remember…"

"You said 'what the' and I said 'what is it?' and then you…"

Faith shook her head. "No, I can remember that. I can't remember anything else. I remember Lucy bringing me back and all that but, I can't remember anything before that."

"But you remember the scar you used to have."

"I remember things like Buffy stabbing me but things about myself I can't remember any of it. I know I am supposed to love Buffy but I can't remember why. I am not too sure if I even really love her."

"What? Not that I am upset but what?"

"I just can't seem to focus on anything that has happened to me before Buffy and me stopped her from blowing up California."

Faith sat back down. Slowly realizing that her changes went deeper than she thought. What had happened to her?

Cordelia walked to the closet and pulled out a blanket. Something told her that she wouldn't be leaving the lobby anytime soon. So they might as well be comfortable while they sat there.

Even though something in her soul was telling her that she loved Buffy, she couldn't remember why. And as Cordelia sat down next to her and put the blanket over them, she wasn't sure that she cared anymore. If someone had wanted to give her a fresh start then great. No sense ruining her good time worrying about Buffy.

"You know what?" The slayer said as she pulled Cordelia closer.

The former cheerleader felt her pulse quicken as she got closer to Faith. "What?"

"I want you." Faith slammed her mouth against Cordelia's. And as the two kissed, Buffy became nothing but a memory that Faith just didn't need anymore.

*****

Buffy closed her bedroom. She had finally gotten Dawn to school and was ready to deal with day two of life without Faith. The first she needed to do was get rid of everything that reminded her of the dark slayer. She looked at her bed. Faith's pillow.

The slayer walked over to her bed and flung the pillow off and into the corner. She got on her knees and looked under her bed. Faith was notorious for throwing her dirty clothes under there. Buffy reached under and pulled out a huge pile of clothes. On top of them was a letter addressed to her.

She picked it up and sat down on her bed to read it:

	B,

	By the time you read this, I'll probably be gone. It's not
	forever because that would be too long. There are some
	changes going on inside of me and I can't really explain it.
	The only way that I can figure this out to be alone for
	awhile. I have to find out who I am because I don't know
	anymore. If something comes up y'know like an apocalypse or
	evil hellgod I'll be at the hotel. 

	Faith

Buffy shut her eyes as the tears rolled down her face. How could she ever doubt Faith? She did care. Of course the letter was a little detached but at least there was one. She had to see Faith. She couldn't wait until she came back. She picked up her phone and arranged for Willow to look after Dawn until she got back.

She hung up the phone and ran outside to her car. Her heart was practically jumping out of her chest. Everything was going to be ok.

*****

Faith grumbled as the sun slowly poured into the lobby of the hotel. She looked down to see Cordelia had fallen asleep on top of her. Last night was the most amazing experience she had ever had. Cordelia wasn't a slayer but she had the stamina of one. The two made love all night long. They had just finished for the 5th time when the sun decided to show up.

Cordy mumbled from her spot on Faith's chest. "What time is it?"

Faith smiled as she shifted herself to face Cordelia. "Does it matter? You were amazing."

"Yeah well I don't usually do this. I mean I have done it. Just not like…"

Faith put her finger over her lips. "Sssh. No talk. I just want to hear you scream my name like you did before."

Before Cordelia could protest, the slayer kissed her deeply. Leaving her with no choice but to surrender and let Faith have her way with her.

Not like she minded anyway.

*****

Buffy parked her rental car in front of the hotel. It was late in the afternoon so there was a chance that somebody would be there.

This was it. She hadn't seen Faith in two days but it seemed like an eternity had passed. Faith had asked for time apart. She understood that. Her heart on the other hand was doing back flips at the thought of seeing Faith again.

She got out of the car and began walking towards the entrance. Buffy tried to calm herself.

*Stay cool. Nothing to be scared of. Faith will be glad to see me.* Buffy got closer to the door when she heard the sound of laughing from inside. It was Cordelia. Then she heard another laugh. It was Faith. Why were Faith and Cordelia laughing together? She quickly dismissed the idea of the two actually getting along.

Buffy pushed the door open and came into the lobby.

*****

"This is good where is this from?" Faith asked as she shoveled another forkful of food into her mouth.

"It's from this Chinese food place Angel told me about. You know it is okay to take a breath between bites." Cordelia said as she watched the slayer tossed another carton to the side.

Faith smiled as she scooted closer to Cordy. "You know me. I like to eat."

"Tell me about it." The girls laughed and kissed again.

That was when they heard a familiar voice from behind them.

"Oh my god."

Faith turned and saw Buffy standing at the top of the stairs. Cordelia turned and looked.

"Buffy…"

The girls quickly grabbed their clothes and hurried to put them on.

Buffy stood there. Tears streaming down her face. She couldn't believe it. How could this happen to her? Why did it always happen? She watched as Faith pulled her tanktop on and walked towards her.

Cordelia went into Angel's office. Not because she didn't want to hear what was going to be said but because she was afraid that Buffy was going to rip her arms off and beat her silly with them.

"B, I can explain."

Buffy shook her head. "So. This is how you find yourself."

Faith dropped her. "I'm sorry."

"This is why you left me and Dawn. To go off and fuck the first person you run into."

"It's not like that."

"Oh so you and Cordelia weren't sitting under a blanket naked? Was that my imagination?"

"You don't understand."

"I don't understand. I don't understand. You fucking left me Faith! I was there for you! I loved you! I gave you my heart and this how you repay me! Fuck that. Nothing you can say could ever explain this."

"I am trying to explain this. Will you please just come and sit down?"

"Sit down?" Suddenly, her tears stopped. This was stupid. Why should she even put up with this anymore.

	/Of all the things I've believed in
	I just want to get it over with
	Tears form behind my eyes
	But I do not cry
	Counting the days that pass me by/

Buffy turned to walk out the door. Then she spoke so quietly that only Faith could hear it. "I hope you and Cordelia are happy together."

Faith suddenly understood what Buffy meant to her. What Buffy had always meant to her. She had done this all wrong from the start. She should have just stayed with Buffy and trusted her to know how to help her.

"Buffy wait…" she whispered. The blonde slayer continued walking out of the door.

	/I've been searching deep down in my soul
	Words that I'm hearing
	are starting to get old
	It feels like I'm starting all over again
	The last three years were just pretend/

She had to get her to listen. If she could just tell Buffy she had screwed up and that she needed her help.

<Buffy, wait. I love you.>

Buffy stopped and looked back at Faith. The dark slayer's eyes were filled with regret. She had fucked up and she was willing to admit it. Her eyes were pleading for Buffy to come back to her and listen to what she had to say.

Buffy's eyes flashed with the power she hadn't used since the day she had fought Kendra.

"If you ever say that to me again, I swear to God, I will beat you to death." Buffy turned and marched out of the hotel.

Faith collapsed to the floor and began crying harder than she had ever cried before. Buffy was gone. This time forever.

Buffy could hear Faith crying as she walked out. She looked back at the door. Her heart screaming for her to go back and comfort Faith. Her love for the other slayer was strong and maybe one day she would go back just not right now.

And as a single tear rolled down her cheek she whispered "Goodbye, Faith."

	/And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
	I want what's yours
	and I want what's mine
	I want you
	But I'm not giving in this time

	Goodbye to you
	Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
	You were the one I loved
	The one thing that I tried to hold on to
	The one thing that I tried to hold on to/

...continued in Never Saw It Coming...

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