This Abandon
by Desirata41
Rating: NC-17

Disclaimer: All Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters are exclusive property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and UPN. I'm only paying homage to characters I love!
Notes: This is intended for "Buffy's Love Fest" held on The Faithful Chickies list. I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge one of the most relevant and worthwhile series on the tube: THE L WORD. While none of the characters or events herein are taken directly from the show, I have to admit that it has influenced and touched me deeply.
Dedication: It's still only you.
Feedback: Give it to me baby…

Faith's POV

I remember laying eyes on B for the first time. She and the Scoobs like to think they first met me at the Bronze dustin' that vamp outside. No one knows I tracked her earlier that evening while she was on patrol. Had to get a look at the legendary Buffy Summers didn't I?

The little thing looked like she needed help, surrounded by three of them alone. I reached into my back pocket for my wood, couldn't watch her get her ass kicked, wouldn't have been sociable. Then that feisty blonde showed me why Sunnydale was her town.

This girl proved she wasn't to be fucked with, and I was impressed. The chick definitely had some moves, nice tight curvy moves. What really made me notice her wasn't how many she took out, but the way she did it, like that shit didn't matter. I could've sworn I heard her wisecrackin' while she staked their asses.

Talk about coolness, she patted the dirt off her clothes; and walked to the Bronze to meet the gang like nothing ever happened. Only I knew it had, and my body felt the same surge that connected us. Other people hung around her, and she loved them; but she would never really let them in. She couldn't, slayers don't get attached, to anything.

When I finally did meet her later up close, her eyes struck me more than anything else about her. They said everything without saying anything, and I found myself wanting to put words in that mouth, among other things. Everybody buzzed around me like I was the latest flavor, but all I really wanted was to have her all to myself.

The way her hair fell around her face, and that smile looking like it was only for me. All those things had me crushin' on her from the start. If I mention that body, whew…might get distracted from the story. We became fast friends, caught up in the slayer thing.

She couldn't share what being a slayer meant with her friends, they never would've understood. I was the only other person on earth who did. Damn it was easy being with her, and I found myself making excuses to be alone with my new 'friend'.

It didn't take long for us to share our history, on account of I didn't have any to be proud of, so I hedged. She pulled me into her world with stories about her watcher, friends and family. I was alright with my lot in life and never envied anyone, until I came to Sunnydale. Why was I comparing my past to hers? She wasn't responsible for the cesspool that had been my life up until now.

There was something about her that pumped up a room. B was laid back and cool most times, but the other side of her was like a kid. I found myself laughing when she would grab my arm to show me something that excited her. I had even learned how to make sense out of the damned gibberish she and Red would spout when they were researching some baddie.

We managed to go along for a couple of months training and fighting together. The time we were spending with each other was bound to make two people close, but it worked a different magic on us. The more I talked to B, (yeah I started callin' her B, coz it was just for us) the more she began to grow on me.

One-night things turned the corner and I changed the 'friendship' forever. Who could've seen it coming? The last thing I needed or intended was to fall for her, and I fought it hard. She made me do it really, feel these things. She made me touch her face that night, and wipe the graveyard dust from it. No one would've blamed me for kissing her after the way she looked at me, and licked those lips I had been craving.

Buffy's POV

What is she doing, I know she's not going to try and kiss me? I would never…give her the idea…oh my God. Why is my body acting like this? My arms are pulling her to me and I can feel my tongue playing with hers, this is wrong, we shouldn't be…mmmmm.

Faith's hands were roaming over me, and she was panting. Her eyes had turned dark and menacing, establishing control over me. She ignited something in me totally new and unbound. The thought of submitting to her suddenly enticed me, and I wanted to be led. All those rules I lived my life by dissolved, and nothing was left but the swell of her breasts rubbing against mine.

I wanted that hot mouth on me, giving me the pleasure it so promised. She kissed me like a ravenous beast ferocious with hunger, and I was ready to be taken by her. Somehow I managed to stop myself before things went too far. I wanted her right there, in the dirt. My hands found the strength to separate us, and we both had a chance to catch our breath.

"Faith we can't do this."

"Babe, I thought we were doing this, and well."

"No, that's not what I mean, not here."

Her smile was sinful inferring things that made me wet. I had just admitted this was going to happen, and she knew I wanted it to.

"What ya gonna do with all this B, once you get me alone. Huh baby?"

She ran her hands along the front of her body, stopping just short of her crotch. My breath hitched in my throat when she lifted one of those hands to her mouth and sucked three fingers in, while using the other to unzip her pants.

"This is what I'm going to do to you B, and you're going to beg me to stop."

Those moistened fingers traveled downward and disappeared inside her waistband, and she groaned as they made contact; looking directly at me with a challenge I couldn't deny. She wasn't done yet though, because she pulled those same fingers from her wetness, glistening with her juices, and pressed them to my lips.

"Taste me, B."

Before I knew it, my tongue was lapping at her fingers sampling Faith's exotic flavor, and so help me, I wanted more. She watched me with curiosity, slowly moving her fingers in and out of my mouth. I had never known anyone as sexual as she was. It was becoming more difficult to control my arousal. We walked towards home hardly being able to concentrate on anything else but the wanting.


Faith's POV

Mrs. S was out of town on some business for the Art Gallery and the house was empty. B wanted it bad, I could tell by the way her hips swayed back and forth giving me a show, teasing me. I could smell the heat coming off her like musk; we were animals after all right?

I knew she was nervous by the way she trembled, almost like she was waiting for me to pounce on her. Jumping her bones had been my goal in the beginning. I can't lie about that, but she made my heart flutter in a way that scared me, and it all changed.

"B, things get kinda heated when we slay, and maybe this isn't what you want. Hell, maybe all we really need is a cold shower."

She answered me by throwing herself into my arms so hard it knocked us both off balance, and we fell backward onto her steps. The wind was knocked out of me and the stiff wood of the steps dug into my back. I felt her too, pressing into me and everything else ceased to matter.

Damn this girl had me, strategies about doing her when I finally had the chance went out the window, and I could hardly speak. I felt her breath on my face making my stomach turn upside down. She was straddling my thigh, and all my reason faded.

As quickly as she had pinned me, she was gone running up the steps laughing. The fox wanted to play, and I was oh-so willing. I followed her up the stairs to her bedroom, and all the playing ended.

Buffy wasn't my first girl, but she was the first one that mattered. All I had to do was reach out and touch her. How many people actually get to touch their fantasy? I walked over to her and took that beautiful face in my hands. Would she ever know what she really meant to me? How I went to sleep at night dreaming about her, only to wake up in the morning anxious to see her?

Fuck, my mind had been on Buffy overload, and I was thinking bout sappy shit like…forever. If I could've spent everyday of the rest of my life with her and it wouldn't have been enough. I had to be where she was; or I would never be complete.

Buffy's POV

I never knew she could be this tender, almost like she was worshiping me. Her lips barely touched my eyelids as she kissed my face, tracing the outline of my cheeks with her fingers. Then I was utterly surprised when she laid her head in the hollow of my shoulder and just stood there hugging me like I was going to leave her.

She was everything I'd ever wanted, but could never have. I should've stopped my hands from reaching out to her, and those things I whispered in her ear, so forbidden.

Stopping a boulder from careening down a mountain with all its fury and force would've been easier. Faith, she's the sin everyone warns you about, the temptation that will ruin you. In another life, I'm sure her name must have been Jezebel.

Yet, here and now she was real and willing in my arms. So I did what anyone in my position would do, I gave into sensuality. I dealt with circumstances the way I'd always dreamed of doing, and for the first time in my life I was free.

Tonight she was my answer, to the longing and want. This abandon, threatened to consume me, but I faced the fear and gave up in surrender to…bliss.

Faith's POV

The clothes we walked in wearing were a blur, and I was reminded of the first time I ever saw her slay. The grace of her movement that made my mouth go dry. It was as much a part of her as the air she breathed. Oh man, you had to love Buffy Summers… and I did; damn her!

I lowered her gently down onto the bed with my hands around her back supporting her. You never would've figured B had a weakness. All those defenses dropped when I kissed her like she longed to be kissed. She was my prey now, and her tongue was so yielding in my mouth.

No need to fight now B, oh baby you are so mine. How was I to know the small of her back would make her my slave? I didn't, until my tongue found it for me, and her body tensed. Oh yeah, the secret to Buffy Summers? I wanted it immediately.

So here we were and I was trembling coz I was afraid, my clit was throbbing like it had a mind of its own, and she hadn't touched me yet. She didn't need to. We had been flirting for weeks and I already knew the power she held over me, talking on the phone or thinking about her in the middle of the night when I came.

Buffy's skin was so smooth and willing under my hands. It made me hotter when she moaned like that…so into me. I took her from behind, letting my fingers delve into her unexpectedly. She whimpered like it hurt, and for a moment I hesitated, but then that voice begged me to fuck her!

"We've both been waiting for this so long, just let it go B. No one could ever know you like I do slayer, there will never be anyone else. You've always wished for this, but didn't know how or when. It's me lover, I'm the thing that scares you more than any Big Bad could."

The way she moaned and squirmed under me set me on fire, but it served another purpose. It endeared her to me, letting me know possessing her came with a price. I was willing to give my life for her safety and happiness.

"Tell me how it feels B, like what I'm doing to you?"

She was too busy riding my fingers, taking them deeper inside with every thrust to answer. She was so wet and open for me I wanted to crawl into her and stay there.

Supporting my weight with my free arm, I leaned over her pressing my body against her back. That firm, smooth ass was raised in the air moving with the rhythm of my fingers and it spooned perfectly with my mound as I started to move in time with her. She gasped when my warm juices started to run down her cheeks.

I opened my legs wider and shifted my weight, and before I knew it, she was pounding back on my clit. The pay ain't great but you get other perks from being a slayer, like balance and strength. I nuzzled her neck and whispered into her ear.

"Ahhhh…you feel so good B, trying to make me cum for you?"

She pushed into my clit even harder, wiggling her hips in a wicked circular motion, and I lost it! All I could think about was making her cum with me. I maneuvered myself onto my back bringing her body with me. She landed half on top of me facing upward, and I clamped my legs around hers, drawing her near to me.

She grabbed my hand and slid three of my fingers back inside her, and we began to move together again. Our bodies fed off each other, giving and taking. Our sweat and juices mingled creating a new scent that filled my nostrils, us.

I massaged her clit softly as she rocked with me, holding her like a baby while her body quivered. This was my new addiction, giving her so much pleasure. We shared the same sensations as we went over the edge, and our slayer connection only intensified the experience.

We must have slept for hours afterward, her small hand cupping my breast like she owned it, snuggled in my arms safe from the world outside. I was content to hold her, enjoying the feel of delicate lips against my neck.

That mane of hers was the texture of silk between my fingers and I chuckled as I checked her roots, confirming what I already knew about her. Buffy Summers was the real thing, and I would never be free of her.

Buffy's POV

Whenever I was with her reality slipped away. A truth that was hurting me more every time I confronted it. As much as I loved her, I would never be able to have an open relationship with her.

The good times we had in the beginning made it easy to delude myself, but not Faith. We were deep in love, and I knew she was expecting so much more from me, than I was willing to give. She deserved to know the truth and I couldn't keep it from her anymore. I dreaded the hurt it would cause her. She was nursing so many other wounds.

No one knew the sweet and loving side of her like I did. That love probably could've been the salvation we both needed, she had certainly changed for the better. What would my friends and family think about this, didn't I already have enough issues on my plate being a slayer?

Over the coming weeks as she started to talk about our future together, my apprehension grew. The look in her eyes when I told her that we couldn't be together, tore me apart.

"I know that you said you could never be just friends with me Faith, but it's all I can give you right now."

"Right now, what the fuck do you mean Right now, B?"

"Don't be upset with me Faith, please. I love you, and I never meant to hurt you. It's just that I can't do this, I thought I could; but I can't."

I watched her pace around me like a caged animal, unsure of how she would react next.

"Well B, I don't think I have many 'friends' that can make me wet when I hear their voice. I was never ready to change my whole gotdamned life for a 'friend'."

"Please don't be angry with me Faith, you know I love you."

It was like watching a rock crumble, seeing the pain in her eyes and knowing I was the cause. She turned to look at me one last time before walking away.

"Your loss B, no one will ever give you what I was going to. One of those nights when you miss me, remember this. I'm the one you let get away baby."

She strutted away from me then, like the old Faith; that could have anyone falling at her feet. A week went by before I saw her or spoke to her. I worried that she had given up on me.

Faith's POV

How could she tell me that and then act like I was supposed to swallow that bullshit? Yeah, I fucking cried, but not for long. You don't get back up from ass-kickings unless you know how to roll, and I'm a fucking pro.

I took a few days to thinks things over, and then I went to see her. She would always mean so much to me, but not having her in my life at all was not an option.

"B, if that's all you can give me then it's what I'll take. I do want to ask you something though."

"Anything Faith."

"Can I kiss you one last time?"

"Course baby, c'mere."

If this was going to be my last time, then it would be my best. She melted in my arms like I was her lifeline. When I was done, two things were clear. She was going to be mine one day, only she didn't know it yet.

I grabbed her hand and pulled her down the street.

"C'mon B, I feel like cruisin' for babes at the mall; and you know my type."

My 'friend' put her arm around my shoulder possessively, and we went walking towards the mall. *Wink*

The End