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It's Been Awhile

by Distance999
Rating: PG

Disclaimer: The characters in this story are not mine, nor will they ever be. There just being borrowed to create this little story.
Author's Notes: This is my first fiction so be gentle. The song is It's Been Awhile by Staind which I mention it in the story. The song is in < >. Also the song is located in the files in buffynfaith under It's Been Awhile if you are interested and listening to the song too. Thanks.
Thanks: Thank you to all of you that read the story and told me to post it means a lot to me. Thank you Sarah for beta reading it for me.


I have been out of jail for over a month and I haven't seen or heard from Buffy. I thought that she would try and come back to finish the job she started, but nothing has happened yet. I have been working for Angel, going patrolling with him and answering the phones during the day. I have never been so bored in my whole life.

I am still trying to make everything up to Wesley and Cordelia. They are coming around and I am planning on going to a club with Cordelia tonight to see a band play. I heard this band is going to be really big. I don't think I have heard anything on the radio or anything but that's what everyone is telling me. So here I am sitting in my room wondering if I should wear a black tank top or a red tank top. Finally I decide that black will be the best thing for a concert. I go downstairs and sit on the couch waiting for Cordelia. "Hello People. I am ready to rock." I look at her and smile; she sure does look hot.

I hope I can keep track of her tonight. We tell Angel bye and head to the club called Sliver. I don't know what to expect. But the place is packed. We finally get in about an hour after we got there. We make our way to a table and sit down. A waitress comes to take order and say that the band will be on in about five minutes. So Cordelia and me just watch the crowd dance to the jukebox. I feel a vibe I haven't felt in a year. The vibe comes when only one person is in the room and that person is miles and miles away from me. I miss her more each time I think about her.

We shared more than just slaying. We shared love. At least until I fucked things up. The owner of the club finally makes his way up stage and says, "Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome Staind."

Everyone is cheering and screaming as the band makes their way up to the stage. I feel like tonight is going to be something I will never forget. The band says to us, "Please feel free to dance with anyone you want, it doesn't matter. This first song is going out to someone who needs a little help forgetting the past. So with no more blabbing here it is." The band counts down and starts to sing the words that I will never forget.

	<It's been awhile
	Since I could hold my head high
	It's been awhile
	Since I first saw you
	It's been awhile
	Since I could stand on my own two feet again
	It's been awhile
	Since I could call you
	But everything I can't
	Remember as fucked up as it
	All may seem the consequences
	That I've rendered I've stretched
	Myself beyond my means>

I move from the table to the dance floor in a matter of seconds. I lose control as I think about the words to the song. I am swaying back and forth to the beat as I listen. My eyes close and I'm wishing that Buffy were here with me to share this song. I feel someone wrap their arms around my waist. I tense and I slowly open my eyes to see who is dancing with me. My eyes meet green and I almost faint from the sight I see. It's Buffy staring back at me. I smile as I get ready to talk.

B puts a finger on my lips so I cannot say a word. We just move our bodies to the song. The song which means more to both of us than anything in the world. I am lost in those eyes. I am not backing down with my own emotion because I can tell that B is studying my every movement. I have wanted this since I first saw her. I never let my eyes leave her beautiful face as the song continued.

	<It's been awhile
	Since I could say that I wasn't addicted and
	It's been awhile
	Since I could say I love myself as well and
	It's been awhile
	Since I've gone and fucked things up
	Just like I always do
	It's been awhile
	But all that shit seems to
	Disappear when I'm with you
	But everything I can't remember
	As fucked up as it may seem
	The consequences that I've rendered,
	I've gone and fucked up things again.
	Why must I feel this way
	Just make this go away
	Just one more peaceful day

	It's been awhile
	Since I could look at myself straight
	It's been awhile
	Since I said I'm sorry
	It's been awhile
	Since I've seen the way
	The candle lights your face
	But I can still remember
	Just the way you taste
	But everything I can't remember as
	I know it's me I cannot blame this on my
	Father he did the best he could for me

	It's been awhile
	Since I could hold my head up high
	And it's been awhile since I said
	I'm sorry>

As the song ended B had so much emotion running through her eyes that I just wanted to make it all up to her. She made the first move I will definitely make the second. As the song ends I look deep into her eyes and kiss her as softly as I can and whisper as I walk away, "It's been awhile since I could say I'm sorry and It's been awhile since I could hold you in my eyes." I smile at her and leave knowing that we will meet again and start our new life together. But first, I have to straighten myself out and love myself. Because I already know that I love B. Now I need to know that I love myself.

The End