Romance is Dead
by ForeverFaith
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Joss owns it, you know it.
Author's Notes: You've guessed by now that this takes place in the future. I've
skipped all the make amends crap and have gone straight to the relationship. They've been
living together for some time now. But they're not old. And this [ ] denotes flashback.
The dark haired woman seemed to glide hopelessly through the incessant rows of headstones as she fiddled with the stake in her hand. She wasn't really on patrol so much as trying to let off some steam. The trees could be heard dancing with the crisp winds of winter air as Faith plopped herself on one of the more uncomfortable headstones. She lifted her head and looked at the dark sky scattered with sporadic glints of silver.
Faith had always loved the night. Even when she was just a kid the little firecracker would run into her backyard as soon at the garish sun decended from up above. She would sit there, alone, looking up at the sky in hopes of a clear night so she could take in every star with her deep dark eyes that only grew in beauty against the moonlight. Faith used to think of the night as her haven, a place where she could forget about the screaming, shouting and punching going on inside. Instead she would curl her knees into her chest and analyze the possibilities of a world so far away, yet so near to her heart.
Even now, well into her twenties, the dark-haired slayer would sometimes go for walks alone, situate herself against a delicate tree and just stare up at the dark sky...thanking no one in particular for another day of life. And if any one were to walk by the slayer at this moment in time, they would unknowingly catch a glimpse of a woman staring up at the cloak of night, only this time thinking about a particular blonde.
It had already been an hour since their fight. Faith had left in a huff, slamming the door behind her as she went, leaving Buffy on the couch with her head buried in her hands. They had been doing a lot of that lately. Fighting. And although the two were beyond grateful for the time past when physical blows used to be their weapon of choice, they couldn't help but think that sometimes the physicality of a fight was much easier to handle.
The night hadn't started out like this though. However Faith should have guessed it would have. She knit her brow as her gaze fell from the sky and onto the ground, and winced as she remembered the scene that had just taken place.
[ "How come we never go out anymore?" Faith asked as she landed on the soft cushion of the couch. The question was thrown out casually since Faith was not a woman to whine. Buffy instinctively moved closer and wrapped an arm around Faith's waist while her other hand was busy with the remote control.
Not looking away from the TV, Buffy answered her girl. "What do you mean? We always go out."
"To patrol. We don't do much else anymore. I mean I remember when you would at least take me to dinner or some shit like that."
"Ah honey you're so sweet" Buffy joked.
"I'm serious B."
Buffy turned her attention away from the television set and answered Faith with sincere innocence.
"What are you saying? You want to hit a club tonight or something?"
Faith shook her head. "You know for a smart woman you're being pretty dense right now."
"Well I'm sorry if I can't sift through your vagueness at the moment."
"I'm sayin I want to go out with you! I want to take you out, wine and dine you and vice versa. We're in a rut here B and you know it. I mean I hardly ever see you anymore. You're always out on patrol, without me, or shopping with your friends or--"
"I get the point Faith" Buffy cut her off shortly.
Faith let out an irritated sigh and stood from the couch. She began to slightly pace around the room while trying to articulate her emotions, something of her personality she was still trying to work on.
"Is there someone else B? Is that it? Cuz you could just tell me and cut me loose right now. I don't need to put up with this bullshit."
So much for trying to delicately articulate her feelings.
"Why do you always do that? Why do you always jump to the worst conclusion?"
"Didn't answer my question."
"NO OK?" Buffy yelled. She paused and took a couple of breaths before continuing. "No...there's no one else Faith and there never will be. Look, I know that things have been slow with us, and that we haven't been the couple we used to be but that doesn't mean I'm with someone else."
Faith shook her head. "Then what is it B? What's got you so tied up that you can't even watch a movie with me anymore?"
"Me? You know you're not miss available all the time either!"
"Don't turn this around."
"Why the hell not? You know it seems like every time something's wrong I'M the one to blame. Sorry Faith but it doesn't work that way! Sooner or later you're gonna have to take the blame for something."
"Like what? You tell me right now what I have done wrong!"
Buffy just sat where she was, already tired of the fight and tired of always being the one to calm things down. She couldn't take Faith when she was like this. More and more the dark haired slayer had been coming home with gifts for her. A poem here, a necklace there. More and more Faith had been opening doors for Buffy, showing and saying things to her that proved her love. And more and more the dark haired beauty had been going around blaming Buffy for sleeping with someone else, or being out too late, or not taking her places. The more she began to dwell on the subject, the deeper Buffy's anger got.
"I'm sick of this Faith! I'm sick of you always accusing me of cheating on you or not taking you out. I've told you once and after this I'm not telling you again. T-h-e-r-e i-s n-o o-n-e e-l-s-e. Why is it that every time we have a fight this is the topic?"
"Because I'm scared of loosing you B!" Faith shouted quickly. Buffy looked up at Faith with surprise but didn't say a word. Faith continued.
"I'm scared of loosing the only person that's ever made me feel alive. I'm scared of loosing the only girl that's shown me that love isn't just some sick way to manipulate someone or to hurt them. Damn it Buffy I'm scared of loosing the only person I've ever, or will ever love!"
Buffy sat there, stunned. A single tear fell down her cheek. She had no idea the way Faith felt, and for a girl who could never get her emotions out verbally she just did a hell of a job.
With the lack of response from Buffy, Faith sighed and stomped toward the door. Without a word she stormed out of the house, leaving Buffy to silently weep on the couch. ]
In the distance a dog started to howl and Faith was stolen from her thoughts. The wind had picked up and clouds started to circle the moon up above. Faith looked around and ran her hands up and down her shoulders trying to relieve herself of the goosbumps that had formed; she forgot a jacket while storming out of the house.
With the only thought in her head that it was getting late, Faith willed herself off of the headstone and began that inevitable walk home. She didn't know whether Buffy would be there or not, and that thought alone scared her...almost to death.
The silver key caught the light of the quarter moon shining down from the dark sky as it was slowly slid into the lock. With a gentle, deliberate turn of the wrist, Faith quietly opened the front door to the slayers’ home. The dark-haired woman squinted her eyes and took a quick look around the room before turning to softly close the door behind her. She slipped her keys back into the shallow pocket of her faded denim jacket after the awaited "click" of the lock signaled that it was ok retreat from the door, only Faith didn’t.
She stayed there, with her hand resting on the door knob and her smooth locks of silk-like hair shielding her face from the pliant glow of the room. She stayed there with eyes closed and lips tight in silent prayer for her mate to be there if she turned around. How did it come to this? Why was it so difficult for the two of them to get along now a days? Faith had always been acutely aware of wrecked relationships, of ruined households, of love, at first seeming sweet, turning to bitter disdain. She grew up in dysfunction with her family, and seemed to be surrounded by it…haunted by it wherever she went. This, perhaps, could take the blame for the brunette’s sour passion for getting some and getting gone.
But it wasn’t supposed to be like that for her and her Buffy. She new from the day she had set eyes on her slayer that it was different…that she would be different. She promised herself it would be different. However, she had managed to screw up even that long-ago friendship, and it was by a miracle that Buffy and her had worked it out for what seemed like so many years ago.
Truth was, Faith, the girl with the tough girl attitude and wicked pairs of leather pants, was just a little girl, frail and damaged when it came to terms of love. At first she thought she’d never find it…love. She thought that everyone had someone with the exception of her. And now that she had it? Now that the dark slayer knew what it was like to care for someone, and had a taste of what it was like to be held all night long while your lover tickled your ear with whispered words of tender hearts and bright futures—well Faith would rather have not welcomed love into her life at all rather than to have love and lost.
This is why the raven beauty forced herself to pry her fingers from the doorknob and keep her gaze downcast as she took fear and pain induced footsteps toward the staircase. Without looking up once, Faith took off her jacket and threw it onto the table beside the staircase, the keys making a muffled clatter against the wood from inside her jacket pocket. Her weathered Doc Martins squeaked as she ascended the stairs slowly, balancing herself on a sweaty palm that now glided up the railing. Old thoughts of insecurity, remorse, and self-hatred weighed down on each step as she reached the final stair.
"Do I make you happy?"
The question was asked quietly, simply and without promise. Faith stopped warily as her experienced hand rested on the top of the glossed railing. The question, however asked, released a wave of relief upon her soul. Buffy was still here. She let out a breath she had been knowingly holding ever since ascending the staircase. Her lack of response prompted the question again.
"Do I make you happy Faith?"
Faith froze. How was she supposed to answer that question? Sure, it was a simple yes or no answer, but so much more laid buried underneath the spoken words. Apparently no answer was needed because Buffy continued speaking.
"Because I’ve been thinking…." The blonde sniffed and wiped at her face. At this Faith turned to the blonde slayer’s voice. Buffy was sitting on the couch in front of a fire Faith hadn’t even noticed been started. Her golden hair laid disheveled across her seemingly delicate shoulders. The light from the fire outlined Buffy’s form, sliding and enveloping Buffy’s body with its flickering embrace. Faith couldn’t help but think she looked very alone, sitting in the middle of a couch so big.
"…you don’t seem happy with me Faith. No matter what I do, you never seem satisfied. You always have questions…there’s always questions…"
She sounded tired, defeated—alone. Faith remained silent as she re-emerged from herself. She turned her body fully around and walked back down the stairs. She walked over to Buffy as her left hand grabbed her right arm and held it across her body. She stood in front of her mate and looked down at her. The right side of Buffy’s face was marred with a thin line of mascara running down her cheek. Her eyes were red and dry; her lips grim and chapped.
"I have questions because you never give me answers. You don’t talk to me anymore" Faith said with an even tone.
"You don’t give me a chance to talk to you anymore. You’re always attacking."
"Well what am I supposed to think when you’re always out an—"
"Don’t Faith…" Buffy held up her hand. "I’m tired of fighting with you. I’ve been fighting with you for too long. We’ve spent too many years fighting and I’m just…I’m tired."
"I’m tired of it too B."
Buffy’s lips involuntarily curled up into a small smile at the nickname…a nickname that reminded her of Faith. A nickname that embodied their relationship—a simple letter of youth. The blonde rubbed at her neck and held her elbow with her other hand. She let out a breath. A moment of silence passed before Faith noticed Buffy’s chin quiver in the way it always did before she started to cry.
"Maybe…god…maybe we should take a break…"
Buffy silently wiped at the tears in her eyes before they could make a wet trail down her cheek. She didn’t look up.
Faith’s world stopped. She felt as though her chest would cave in, making it hard to breath. She looked at Buffy furrowing her brows, trying her damnedest not to cry. Her voice betrayed her feelings as it came out shaky and nervous.
"What? No…why?"
"Because it’s just—it’s too complicated right now and I need to figure things out."
"No, wait. Look…Buffy, I know that I’ve been crazy lately. But you don’t have to do this. I can, I mean, I can be different."
Faith silently pleaded for Buffy to look at her. She shifted from foot to foot. Buffy didn’t look up.
"I mean it Faith. We’ve been together for so long. I think maybe we need a break."
Faith started to panic. She walked to the other side of the room in a frantic pace, conflicting with herself to keep the tears in and her voice in control. She failed. Faith stalked her way back over to the couch and raised her voice while a few tears made their way unwillingly down her face.
"Fuck that B! You’re not just talking about a break. Saying you need a break is just some fucked up way of saying you don’t want me. Is that it B? You don’t want me anymore? You found someone else, I knew it."
"No Faith, god! That’s exactly what I’m talking about. You think it’s about someone else when it’s not! It’s about you and me. There is no third party in this. And I’m not saying I don’t want you…it’s just. Look at us. You said it yourself, we’re in a rut."
"So we can fix it. Let me fix it."
"This isn’t like a broken glass, you can’t just put the pieces back together."
"Why not?! We’ve done it before. I tried…hell I tried to kill you.." Buffy flinched, "and we worked through it. Buffy…please…"
"Faith…" Buffy was crying, but she didn’t look up. "I’ve thought about this. You were gone a long time and it gave me time to think. I’m tired. I don’t…I don’t want this."
"Don’t want what?"
"This, Us."
Faith stared at her lover dumbfounded. She narrowed her eyes before her features softened. She sat down next to Buffy and took her hand in hers. Buffy sat there, tired and defeated. She didn’t look up.
"You’re lying…" Faith said softly. "I know you. You don’t want this or else you wouldn’t be acting like this. Look, let’s just sleep on it and we can talk in the morning ok? I’ll make you breakfast! You know I make the most kick-ass breakfast Sunny D has ever seen right?" she smiled and tucked a couple of stray hairs behind Buffy’s ear.
The blonde only lowered her head and cried harder.
"Buffy…B. Look at me."
Minutes passed before Buffy Anne Summers lifted her head and looked into the dark, soft eyes of the woman she had loved for more than half of her lifetime. With a sorrowful gaze she spoke.
"Do you love me Faith?"
"With all my heart B, you know I do."
Buffy untangled her hands from Faith’s and cupped the dark slayer’s face with both her palms.
"Then you’ll let me go…" Buffy whispered.
Faith blinked a few times, stunned, as Buffy slowly leaned forward and kissed her forehead. Her lips lingered as Faith’s expression remained shocked, a couple of tears slipping from both slayers’ eyes as Faith’s mouth hung slightly open. Buffy broke the kiss and got up from the couch, wiping at her face and sniffing in the last of her regret. The blonde walked across the room and grabbed a bag Faith hadn’t noticed was packed and waiting by the side of the door.
Stunned, Faith followed Buffy’s movements as she lifted the bag and turned the knob. With hesitation and without turning around, Buffy opened the door and stood in the frame for a few moments.
"I love you Faith" she whispered to herself before exiting the house.
Faith managed to come out of her stupor. She shot up from the couch and frantically ran to the door. She opened it, preparing to fight harder for the woman she loved, still loved and would always love…but it was too late. All she saw were the tail lights of Buffy’s car turning the corner.
With a soft and anguished cry of "no", Faith sunk to her knees and for the first time, let herself really cry.
Notes: This takes place in the distant future. The Scooby gang is into
their late twenties early thirties. Stuff that didn’t happen: Buffy’s death,
everyone moving into Buffy’s home, and Dawn! I don’t use a beta, so please
forgive and forget!
Dedication: Wolfy! Thanks for believing in me.
The sound of the doorbell roused her from her delicate sleep. With heavy eyelids and questioning eyes, she looked over at her still sleeping lover and frowned. She was about to wake her lover when the doorbell rang again. Distraught, the woman quietly lifted the blanket from her frail body and made her way out of the room. The sound of the bell echoed in the dark apartment for the third time as the woman was a few feet away from the door. Taking her last few steps, she accidentally stubbed her toe on one of the drowsily forgotten boxes laying beside the doorway.
"Ouch!! Damn it!"
Flipping on the light with a large growl and an even larger limp, she nervously opened the door.
"Buffy? What are you doing here? Are you ok?"
Standing with a large duffel bag clung in her hands and a tear stricken face, Buffy shamefully lifted her gaze towards her best friend.
"I’m sorry it’s so late Will, but I…I just had no where else to go."
Willow Rosenberg hurriedly grabbed her friend’s arm and pulled her into the apartment. Closing the door lightly, she led her friend to the nearby couch, setting her bag on top of another large box beside a small folding chair. Buffy wiped her face of the tears for certainly not the first time that night and forced a crooked smile, looking at the arrangement of various sized boxes.
"Still in the process of moving I see."
Willow followed Buffy’s gaze.
"Oh, yeah. Tara still has a lot to bring over to the house. I just didn’t want to leave her alone until everything of ours is in."
"That’s good…I’m happy for you guys. You deserve this, you and Tara. I’ve always wondered when you’d finally tie the knot and move in together. It’s fun, moving in together. I remember when Faith and I first moved in together…"
Buffy drifted from her unknowing rant and bowed her head, allowing a few more tears to drift from her eyes. Taking Buffy’s hand, Willow scooted next to Buffy and forgot all about the pain in her foot and the fatigue in her body.
"Buffy what happened?"
"I-It’s Faith. We…I had to get out."
Willow furrowed her brow and frowned.
"What’d she do to you? Did she hurt you? I swear, Buffy, if she laid a hand on you…"
"No! Will nothing like that" Buffy frowned.
She still couldn’t believe Willow held a grudge against Faith. Even after all the years of fighting beside her, working with her, and beginning to except her back into the lives of her friends, Willow still jumped to the worst conclusions when it came to the dark slayer. She never again wanted to put anything passed Faith’s abilities. The red headed features turned from anger to pure confusion.
"Then what? I don’t understand-"
"I-Is everything ok out here?"
The two women on the couch turned their heads to see a very disheveled Tara standing behind the couch, eyes half closed and robe almost coming undone. Willow looked back at Buffy before turning her attention to her lover.
"Hey baby. It’s ok, go back to bed."
"Buffy?" Tara squinted "Are you all right?"
"I don’t know…" Buffy bowed her head again and dug her fingers in her hair, holding her head in her lap. Tara looked at Willow with an inquiring look, while Willow just looked back with equal confusion and shrugged her shoulders.
"I’ll um, I’ll go make some coffee."
With that excuse, Tara went off to leave the inseparable friends to talk. She knew when she was needed and when she was not, and Tara knew right then that Buffy needed someone who’d been through it all right along side the blonde.
Buffy watched the retreating form of the tired witch, her senses immediately kicking in. She looked around the room and then rested her eyes on that of the concerned red head. She noticed that Willow was still trying to fully wake from her slumber. Buffy suddenly felt very embarrassed and ashamed for waking up the household.
"Willow, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you guys so late. I was just confused and didn’t know what I was doing. Look maybe I should just—"
"Buffy. How much have we gone through in our lifetime? I don’t think a little doorbell ringing at 2 in the morning is going to annoy me that much, especially if you need to talk."
Willow flashed a smile at her friend that was impossible not to respond to. Buffy smiled half-heartedly and took a breath, running a hand through her hair. Contemplating what she would and would not say, Buffy frowned and looked at her friend.
"She just kept pushing Wil. It didn’t matter what I did or said, she just kept pushing the fact that I was cheating on her. She said we were in a rut and then some stuff was said before she stormed out of the house. While she was gone I had time to think. I mean she was right…we’re not the same together anymore, and I have no idea where to begin to make it right again. She came back and I…I told her we needed a break. But god, Willow…it’s only been a couple of hours and I already miss her…"
Willow studied her friend before answering.
"You called a break? Is that what you meant or do you want it to be over?"
Buffy knit her brow and looked at the floor for a few seconds. Did she want it to be over? Were they together for so long that Buffy felt she owed it to Faith to stay with her? Her head began to hurt with the sudden rush of familiar questions. Looking up, she decided to dodge an answer.
"Look it’s late, and you’re obviously still tired. You should go back to bed. I’m sorry to have woken you in the first place. We can just talk about this in the morning."
Buffy rose from the couch. Willow looked up at her and grabbed her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
"A-are you sure?"
"Yeah, positive. Um, do you mind if I just crash here tonight? I don’t really want to go back to the house."
"Yeah, that’s totally fine. Is she, Faith I mean, is she still back at the house?"
Buffy’s lip jutted out in an unconscious pout while she thought about the whereabouts of her recently ex-lover.
"I don’t really know. When I left she was still back at the house."
Buffy turned to her friend with sudden panic. She tugged at her lip before speaking.
"Do you think I should have left? I mean maybe I should go back and see if she’s ok. I just left her there Wil. I-I think I should go back and see that she doesn’t do anything drastic."
"No, Buffy listen. I know I’m not Faith’s personal cheerleader here, but do you think that’s such a good idea? Maybe she needs time to cool off."
Buffy thought about what Willow said and finally shook her head slightly.
"You’re right."
She sat back down next to her friend. Without a word, Buffy wrapped her arms around Willow and gave her friend a lingering hug. When she broke free, Willow smiled.
"You’re welcome Buffy. Now get some sleep. I’ll bring you some blankets."
Willow got up and left the room, careful to make her way clearly around every box that stood in her way. Buffy was left once again on the couch to think about the choice she had made in the course of a few hours. A choice in which unknowingly would take a toll on the life of the one she loved the most.
Faith sat slumped at the bar of one of the more seedy places in SunnyDale. After Buffy had driven away, Faith composed herself as best she could. She had slowly risen from her pathetic position on her knees, suddenly numb to the night as its breath nipped at her shoulders.
She made her way back into the house, taking apathetic footsteps toward the bathroom. Flipping on the light, Faith had stood at the bathroom mirror merely studying herself. What had she become? What had they become? She thought she had grown, matured in the years she had reformed from darker days while working for demonic forces. She thought she had conquered her inner demons and erased the memories of times where she felt unworthy.
Faith had huffed and smirked unwittingly toward her reflection. Apparently she had been deceived by that notion of self-restoration, otherwise her Buffy wouldn’t have left. She must have been mistaken that happiness had finally found her or else she would have been upstairs cradled in her lover’s arms, like she had been for years gone by.
With each thought that passed through her mind, Faith’s reflection snickered and laughed at her. Having enough, Faith pushed off from the sink and stalked her way out of the bathroom. She had wanted to forget about tonight. She had wanted to deny to herself that her life was falling apart all over again. So she had proceeded to the liquor cabinet only to find a cobweb distorting the upper corner of the shelf. With an angered roar, Faith had ripped her fingers through the silken strands of an insect’s unsuspecting home and slammed the cabinet back shut, causing the cabinet door to bounce back and forth on its hinges. Running her fingers in her hair and pulling at the roots, Faith had torn her way out of the house.
And this is where she now sat, with a dampened shot glass in front of her, twenty more dollars in her pocket, and a will to be utterly alone.
Motioning the bartender over for not the first time, Faith took the rest of her money out of her pocket.
"Gimme another drink, same."
The bartender, with a heavy frame and balding head, looked at her warily.
"Mam, maybe you’ve had enough. I could call a taxi for you and you could just call it a night and go home."
Faith sneered at the shot glass and let out a short, condescending laugh.
"Home. I don’t have a home anymore."
"I’m sorry. I know you must be havin it rough but—"
Keeping her voice even but nonetheless threatening, Faith cut the man off.
"You don’t know a goddamn thing, so don’t pretend to care…"
She tore her clouded gaze away from the shot glass and cast them upon the bartender. The man inwardly shuddered from the dark and isolated stare.
"…so just give me another drink."
Without another word, the bartender poured Faith another shot of burden, taking his fee and walking back to the other end of the bar. Faith stared at the dark liquid in her glass. She fiddled with the napkin under the weight of the drink and sadly mouthed the word "why" before downing it smoothly.
"You know, I’ve been watching you and you might want to take a break."
It took a few seconds to realize she was being spoken to. Faith lifted her gaze and turned her head. She came face to face with a beautiful blonde woman smiling warmly at her. Great. That’s all she needed. Another smiling, blonde woman who would no doubt rip her heart out if given the chance.
"Yeah? Well I’ve already had one break tonight and I don’t plan on taking another. ‘Sides, I didn’t ask for an opinion."
"Not an opinion, just offering some advice."
"Didn’t ask for that either."
"You don’t ask for much do you?"
Faith had to smirk at that comment. She never did ask for much; not from the Scoobies, not from her parents, and not from Buffy Summers. However, the one thing she did ask for she either never got, or had gotten only to have that one thing taken from her in one phrase.
"No…I guess I don’t."
"Well, I’d ask to buy you a drink but it seems like you’ve already had enough of those."
The woman smiled again, and Faith wasn’t in the mood for happiness.
"Look, lady, whoever you are.."
"Name’s Rachel."
"Yeah, Rachel, look I came here with a party of one and I’m gonna keep it that way."
"My, you’re a get-the-point kinda gal aren’t you? What’s the matter? Not in the mood for a little romance?"
The woman smirked, picking up the little pink umbrella in her drink with the words "Passion’s Hideaway" printed on it and set it in Faith’s shot glass. Faith glanced down at the little decoration. "Passion’s Hideaway"? She was at a single’s bar? She berated herself for being so driven by self-disgust that she didn’t even know what kind of place she had gotten herself into.
She replayed the woman’s comment in her mind, knitting her brows and clenching her jaw. Taking the umbrella, she tossed it back on the bar next to Rachel’s glass and got up. Looking into her eyes, Faith answered the woman.
"Romance is dead."
With that, Faith walked out of the place on wobbling legs, having no idea where her next destination would be.
Notes: [ ] denotes flashback, while ‘ ’ denotes thought. I wrote this
part at like 4 am so please forgive and forget!
Dedication: To Wolfy, for always believing in me, and to Liv, just cuz:p.
"I don’t think it’s going to work."
"Oh nonsense. You’re a smart girl, I’m sure you’ll work it out."
"But whenever I think it’s going to work, it never does."
Faith smoothed out the fabric of her soft pink dress, staring down at a wooden oak table with the wooden dradle laying limply on its side.
"You have to fight to get what you want. My Faith wouldn’t just walk away from this."
Faith picked up the spinning top and examined it, furrowing her brows. "It’s almost in perfect condition Boss….except for this crack…."
The dradle smoothly transformed into Faith’s knife, spattered with blood on its sharp edges, making the once glistening metal look dull and putrid. Faith looked up and frowned at the Mayor, a confused expression played on her features.
The Mayor spoke softly. "You’re not a little girl anymore. Things change Faith. Even I can’t protect you from that." He looked at his slayer with a pained expression, shaking his head regretfully. Suddenly the room changed, fading into endless skies of stars as the Mayor’s form vanished. Faith looked down from the sky and found herself sitting in her backyard, the door to her home slightly ajar.
"Did you get the beer?"
"O-of course I did…why wouldn’t I?"
"You better not be lying to me bitch, because you know what happens when I find out you’ve been a lying whore."
"I’m not lying to you."
"Are you arguing with me?"
"No—"
Faith heard a crash and a thump. Wrapping her hands protectively around her knees, she rocked back and forth, beginning to cry as she cast her gaze up at the darkened sky, silently pleading with its grace.
‘take me away, take me away, take me away, take me away….’
"Hey sweetness." The sickly sweet breath was once again violating her ear.
"Oh god…"
Faith looked from the sky and cast a horrified look to the hand that was slowly making its way to her inner thigh. Suddenly the hand turned to black liquid, and the garish light of the sun was beating down on Faith’s face. Confused, she looked around and found endless stretches of flat, sand covered land.
Feeling uncomfortable, she looked down at her feet. From underneath her shoes a black puddle of tar started to spread around her. Faith tried to lift her feet and run, but she couldn’t. The tar was holding her down, the puddle outstretching wider. Panicked, Faith struggled. She looked up quickly, looking for anything to help her.
Giles, Willow, Xander, Oz, Cordelia, Angel and Joyce were standing a couple of feet away from her, staring at her with expressionless masks.
"Help me!!"
She reached her hand out to the group as she sunk deeper into the tar. The breeze whispered across her face and through the hair of the Scooby Gang, making it the only movement seen on each expressionless body.
"HELP ME!!!! PLEASE!!!" Faith was almost totally submerged. She desperately held her hand further toward the group. Angel stepped forward. He grinned, his vampire visage taking over his face. His fangs dripped with blood.
"Feel it. Deal with it. Let is swallow you whole…"
"NO!" Faith cried out, a cry of anguish.
A hand shot out and grasped Faith’s, entwining their fingers and pulling her out of the dark abyss.
"Buffy…."
Buffy smiled and hugged the dark-haired girl.
"Where have you been?"
Faith looked around and found herself standing in their living room.
"I was always right here."
"I didn’t see you come in."
"You’re hurt." Faith frowned as she looked at Buffy’s shirt, blood slowly starting to make a larger and larger stain over Buffy’s left breast, right over her heart.
"I’ve been running for a long time Faith."
"I think we should go to the hospital."
"Oh, you know that won’t fix things."
"I forgot you’re afraid of hospitals B."
"I’ve gotten used to them. I’ve been running for too long anyway."
"If you’ve been running for awhile, why don’t you rest? Are you thirsty."
"Yes."
"What do you want?"
"You."
"I thought you didn’t like that drink anymore."
The blood from Buffy’s shirt began to drip onto the coffee table, making the impact the only sound in the room.
"You know it’s my favorite drink, it was just hurting my throat…it’s hard to swallow."
Faith looked at Buffy’s shirt warily, watching the blood drip onto the table.
"I really think we should go to the hospital."
"You’re right, you don’t look so good."
"What do you mean?"
Buffy was suddenly standing right in front of Faith, her features mutating into hatred, her eyes turning dark.
"Why can’t you ever make it work? It’s simple! You twist the knob, and it spins!"
"B, I-I tried."
"No! You’re making it more complicated. There shouldn’t be so many questions!"
"Let me try again!"
"Too late." Buffy hissed as she plunged Faith’s knife into her heart. Faith stood, shocked, as her blood dripped onto the table, mixing with Buffy’s own, before she slumped to her knees.
"Buffy!"
Faith woke up with a start. Sitting up in bed, she looked around panting, trying to figure out where she was. Her head throbbed and her throat was tremendously dry. Trying to swallow some of her fear back down, she gripped the sheets only to find that they were almost soaked through.
"Fuck." Faith whispered. She squinted and blinked, clearing her eyes. The pale glow of the morning’s first rays began to peak through the discolored curtains of the room. She finally recognized where she was.
"Shit, that’s the last time I go drinking BEFORE I get a place to stay."
She fell back onto the bed, letting a long breath escape from her dry lips. Faith figured she probably needed at least several more hours of sleep in order to pass the hang over stage. She settled herself into the bed of the motel room, closing her eyes. Who cares if she slept the day away? It’s not like anyone was expecting her home.
"Morning!"
Willow peaked over the side of the couch with an unnaturally broad smile for this time of morning, especially since she herself was disturbed during the night. Buffy groaned and flopped her arm over her eyes. She began to mumble in her still sleep state.
"Jus’ give me 10 more minutes Faith…"
Buffy brought her arm up and captured Willow around the neck, bringing her down, trying to hug her to her. Not expecting the sudden action, Willow lost her balance and flipped over the couch onto Buffy. Buffy awoke abruptly. Not knowing what was on her, her slayer defenses kicked in and she pushed Willow harshly off her. Willow went flying to the ground and ended up on her ass. Buffy’s eyes grew wide with embarrassment as she realized what happened.
"Oh my god, Willow! Are you ok? I’m so sorry!"
Willow grimaced a bit at the pain that was shooting through her ass. She forced a smile.
"Oh yeah, I’m dandy."
"I’m so soooo sorry! I didn’t mean to, I just thought….you were Faith." Buffy trailed off.
Willow’s smile died. Her expression turned serious.
Blinking, Buffy looked around and Willow noticed the flicker of loneliness in the blonde’s eyes.
"Hey. It’s ok. It’ll be ok Buffy."
Willow smiled as she rose from the floor and lightly touched her friend’s shoulder. Buffy looked up and smiled slightly. After a moment of pause, her smile faded and she looked at Willow, confused.
"Why are we up this early anyway?"
"Oh, I must have forgotten to tell you last night; Xander’s later flight got canceled so he had to take a much earlier one. We have to go pick him up. I wouldn’t have woken you, but I knew you wanted to meet him at the airport with me and Tara so…" Willow looked a little ashamed. She had discussed with Buffy the week before about picking Xander up at the airport. He was flying in from home to visit his friends for a couple of weeks and Buffy couldn’t have been more excited at the time. It never had crossed Willow’s mind that the event from last night could have changed the blonde’s attitude.
Buffy noticed her friend’s demeanor and smiled reassuringly. "I’m glad you woke me Wil. It’s going to be really good to see him." Without another word, Buffy grabbed her duffel from the chair she had set it in the night before and went of to make herself ready.
The three friends waited patiently…or tried to be patient as the flow of men, women and children made their way out of the terminal. It seemed like an endless sea of anonymous beings flowing out of the space before Willow grabbed Buffy’s arm excitedly.
"I think that’s them!!"
Buffy and Tara looked over and saw Xander. The dark-haired man look around for a second before spotting Willow’s red hair. He smiled broadly and hurried his pace. Without any words, Xander dropped his bag and encompassed all of his friends in a fierce hug. The three girls clung to him and a few moments passed by before he let go.
"It’s so good to see you" Buffy smiled.
"Ditto to that Buff."
"So how’s the big man in New York?" Tara grinned.
"Aw, ya know, getting by" Xander grinned back before he turned his body and called out.
"ANYA? HEY ANYA SWEETY?"
"COMING DADDY!"
A little girl, about the age of four, came running from within the crowd of people. With a brilliant smile of joy, she jumped into Xander’s arms and hugged him. Xander laughed and hugged his daughter, bouncing her in his arms.
"Say hi to aunt Buffy, Willow and Tara."
"Hi!" The girl waved before smiling and burying her head back into her father’s chest. She still wasn’t used to the three women. After all, she didn’t see them often and she had thus-far grown up as a shy little girl.
"Hunny, where’d you put Anya’s hat?"
A tall, slender woman came walking up to the group. She sported dark brown hair that bounced brilliantly on her shoulders. She smiled affectionately at her husband and daughter, her green eyes sparkling, before turning to greet their friends.
"Hey you two. Thought we’d never get here."
Willow chuckled, "Hey Caitlin. How have you been?"
Xander’s wife, known as Caitlin, grinned. She had been immediately liked by Willow, Tara, Buffy and even Faith had seemed to take a liking to her. All of them knew she was right for Xander, but never once forgetting the love that had burned between him and Anya. After the…accident….Xander had retreated into himself before meeting Caitlin at one of the get togethers his co-workers sporadically held. It took a long time, but eventually the two found that they needed, respected, and grew to love one another. When little Anya was born, Xander was hesitant to present the name to his wife. Caitlin knew about Anya, and accepted her as part of Xander’s past. She never once protested or argued with Xander’s choice to name the baby Anya. Besides, she had taken a liking to the name herself.
Caitlin gestured to her family. "If it wasn’t for these two, I’d be good, sedated and relaxed" she joked.
"Hey, don’t forget to add sane to that mix."
Caitlin nudged Xander before leaning in and kissing him affectionately. Buffy smiled to herself, and looked on proudly at the man her friend had become. After working a couple of years with his construction company, the firm had been so taken with his performances that they offered him a job as head contractor for various projects in New York. Xander had jumped at the opportunity, and despite the difficulty of leaving his friends, he knew he was making one of the best decisions of his life. Xander looked at his friends again, noticing an absent member.
"Where’s Faith?"
Buffy’s heart jumped at the name. She quickly racked her brain for the right words to use at the moment.
"I’m huuungry" Anya tugged on her father’s arm.
‘Saved by the whining’ Buffy silently thanked the little girl.
"Uh oh. It’s the siren. We better head on out. Grab your bag sweety" Xander put Anya down and Caitlin handed the little girl her power-puff girl backpack. Slipping it on proudly, the girl took her mother’s hand and the group headed off towards Tara’s apartment.
Many hours and a hot shower later, Faith checked out of her motel room. She had grabbed something to eat and wondered around town for awhile. She couldn’t stop thinking about the dream she had experienced earlier that morning. It was so vivid, and confusing that Faith’s mind kept trying to analyze its possible meanings.
‘What the hell was that? Ok yeah, obviously it was a dream but…whoa. Understatement of the year if I said it freaked me out. I mean I knew I’d dream about B….hell I always dream about her, whether she’s lying next to me or breaking my heart, but like that??’
["You have to fight to get what you want. My Faith would never run away from this." "Are you thirsty?" …"Yes"… "What do you want"… "You." "Why can’t you make this work?"… "There shouldn’t be so many questions!!"]
Faith was unconsciously gritting her teeth. Why WAS she running away? Why did she let Buffy run away so easily? She was being a pussy and she knew it. Faith’s old insecurities started to claw their way into Faith’s mind. She was sinking deeper into herself before Faith was stolen from her reverie when she looked up and saw a wicked pair of pants in one of the windows across the street. Thank god for small distractions.
‘All right. I’m not usually one that downs her sorrows in a credit card, but those are the shit.’
She dug into her pocket, simultaneously crossing the street before she stopped and cursed to herself.
‘Fucking hotel room. Shit. Looks like I gotta go back to the house after all. Please…please of all things holy….don’t let her be there….not yet.’
Faith silently replayed her mantra of ‘don’t-let-her-be-there’ all the way back the house that had shown her so much joy, but recently much more pain.
"Crap, I need to go back to the house."
Buffy kept digging in her duffel bag, searching for her missing possession. Tara had briefed Xander and Caitlin on Buffy’s situation on the walk from the car to inside the apartment, only after she herself had been briefed by Willow late last night. Caitlin had been playing with little Anya on the couch while she gave Xander time to catch up with his friends.
"What’s wrong? Did you lose something?" Xander studied Buffy curiously.
Buffy stood up straight, sighing and dropping her hands to her sides.
"I forgot my wallet at the house. There was a gift for you inside…"
"A gift? Aww, Buff. I thought Cate had told you I’d been a bad boy" Xander grinned.
"Ha. Ha. Anyway, I have to go back to the house and get it."
Willow looked at her friend, and Buffy caught her eye, sharing a knowing look between her friend.
"Are you gonna be ok?" Willow asked, resting her head on the back of the couch as she sat next to Caitlin.
"Yep…I’ll be fine."
Buffy smiled all the way out the door, gripping her keys tightly in her hand. Starting the car she let her smile die and she sighed heavily.
‘Please don’t let her be there, Please don’t let her be there, Please don’t let her be there….’
Faith had been more than relieved to discover the house empty when she walked in.
"All right, let’s make this quick" she said to herself. Running upstairs she opened her dresser drawer, pulling out a wad of her "bail money", as Buffy liked to call it. Stuffing it into her pockets, she quickly made her way out of their….the room. She jumped down the stairs and sauntered over to the door. Faith stopped at the door and hesitantly looked back into the room, specifically at the couch in front of the fire place.
["Do you love me Faith?"… "With all my heart B, you know I do" … "Then you’ll let me go."]
Closing her eyes and forcing the pain to retreat back into herself, she sucked in a breath. Turning back around she reached for the doorknob. The door swung open before Faith had a chance to give it a turn. There stood Buffy.
‘Oh god…’ was all Buffy could think of.
Faith stood there, halted in her mission. She took in the sight of Buffy; she drank in it, reveled in it. It’d only been a day since the two had been apart, but it felt like a heart’s eternity. Unbeknownst to Faith, Buffy was doing the same thing. Had she made a mistake? Did she really want a break? So many questions ran through her mind.
Faith’s longing and Buffy’s self-inquisitions cast a long, unconscious silence between the two slayers. However, it came time where Buffy felt like she should say something….only she couldn’t.
She moved her mouth to speak, but no words came out. The two women continued to miss each other in the silence, even though the other was standing right in front of her.
Notes: Takes place in the distant future. No Dawn. And I’ve skipped all
the usual make amends stuff cuz we’ve heard it all *smiles*. And, regardless
of the total lack of vamp activity, the girls are still slayers! This part
is actually kind of a downer (not like the whole thing hasn't been so far), so if you
don’t wanna be totally bummed skip it for now.
Dedication: To everyone who take the time to read it, cuz there wouldn’t be
a point to any of it without you!! Much love to the feedbackers
too…much…MUCH love….eeww not like that, you’re gross;)!
The light breeze from winter air swirled delicately around their faces, trailing its cold touch across hesitant lips and soft locks of brown and gold tresses. The silver and black chimes that hung proudly near the door clanged and clattered; black battling silver against its own will. Darkened eyes beckoned explanation from pools of green.
The air around the slayers danced and begged for them to play, but even winter’s chill found the atmosphere too awkward for its gentle caress. The wind died down, the chimes softened to a light song filled with sporadic and unintentional notes, and finally the setting had become much too quiet for the blonde slayer.
"I just…I mean I’m just here to—"
"Fine. Don’t let me stand in your way."
Faith stepped aside, holding the door open for Buffy to enter their home. The blonde stood for a few more seconds before she slowly made her way past Faith, her eyes darting from Faith’s arm to the floor. Once in the room, the blonde turned and finally gathered the courage to regard Faith.
"How are you?"
Faith continued to stand in the doorway, screaming silently at herself to leave, but wanting nothing more than to envelope Buffy in her arms. She fought back the urge to go to her, instead letting her stubborn nature and pride take over the situation. She sucked in a breath, lifting her chin and regarding her ex-lover with arrogant scrutiny.
"I’m five-by-five Buffy."
"Five-by-five? You haven’t said that in years…"
Faith tilted her head and leaned back against the door.
"Yeah? Well I guess old habits die hard huh?"
Buffy remained silent. She knew what was happening because she knew Faith. She knew that the girl standing in front of her would let arrogance rule, and that trying to talk to Faith now would be like pulling teeth from a rabid dog, despite the many years of personal growth the dark slayer had undergone. She didn’t blame Faith. After all, this was all her doing right?
"Faith, you can shut me out all you want but there’s going to come a time where we both need to sit down and talk."
"Sit down and talk B? The last time I sat down and talked with you I ended up on my knees sheddin unwanted tears."
"You know what I mean."
Faith smiled. A bitter smile meant to cover up the hurt and anguish that would have been evident on her face had she have done otherwise. She pushed off from the door, slamming it as she talked and made her way to the couch.
"Ok, you wanna talk? Let’s go." She plopped down harshly on the large cushions and propped her boots up on the scratched coffee table.
"Let’s talk B. Let’s talk about how you dropped me like I hadn’t ever mattered to you!"
The sentence started out harsh and defiant but ended up falling flat and confused. Buffy stood there lamely, knowing fully that she herself wasn’t ready for this discussion. Out of fear for the unknown, Buffy turned the would-be conversation on her partner.
"Not like this Faith. I-I’m not going to try and have a decent discussion with you when you’re like this."
Faith let out a short laugh. "Not when I’m like this?"
She got up from the couch, making her way over to Buffy and standing in front of her. Brewing silently for the woman she loved, Faith pointed a finger in Buffy’s face.
"YOU made me like this B! YOU dumped ME when you know all I’ve ever done is LOVED YOU! And I think I deserve to be like this until I know WHY you did it!"
Buffy blinked. Moving her head slightly away from Faith’s finger, she answered her with pursed lips.
"I don’t know."
Faith’s lips upturned into and unconscious snarl. Dropping her hand back down to her side, she turned away from Buffy and headed for the front door. Opening it, she didn’t look back as she responded.
"Yeah, well you know where to find me once you’ve figured that out."
The door slammed, and a familiar sense of dejavu was left for Buffy to contemplate as she was once again left alone in the house.
"We have to tell them Willow."
"NO! They can’t know, not—"
Willow’s sentence was cut off with a series of uncontrollable coughs. The frail red-head bent over from her position on the bed, coughing into her hand as Tara sat beside her with a look of compassion, love and fear as she stroked her back. Willow tried speaking in-between spasms.
"I need….I need a tissue…."
Tara hurriedly grabbed a tissue from the box laying on top of the bed stand. She handed it to Willow who gratefully took the tissue. Holding it to her nose, Willow leaned back and dropped her head towards the ceiling as she tried to stop the soft flow of blood.
"Willow…baby you're sick. They’ll find out eventually."
The redhead dabbed at her nose gingerly, noticing the blood had finally stopped. Tossing the tissue onto the bed, she sniffed and looked at Tara, speaking calmly.
"I know that I’m sick, just like I know that it’s because I’ve been doing too many spells for too long so you don’t have to tell me again."
She smiled softly at her blonde counterpart, lifting her other hand and caressing Tara’s cheek softly.
"But we have to keep it to ourselves, just for a little while longer, ok? Buffy needs me right now. I’m the one helping her out for once Tara...I…she needs my support right now….can’t I just do it without having to let her worry about me?"
Tara stared at her lover, lifting her own hand and covering Willow’s. She closed her eyes and leaned into her touch, fully understanding the place in which her lover was speaking. She nodded her head before opening her eyes and addressing her love.
"Ok…I know you’ll tell her when you’re ready."
Willow smiled, leaning over and kissing Tara gently before whispering an ‘I love you’. Pulling back, she began to speak before another fit of coughs interrupted her voice once again. Tara scooted closer to her lover, rubbing her back again while looking up at the ceiling and fighting back the tears of prayer that begged for a cure.
"Honey, do you think Willow’s ok?"
The muffled sounds of coughing could be heard from the room in the back while Caitlin played with little Anya on the couch. Xander finished the last bits of his snack before answering her.
"I’m sure she’s fine. Nothing a little Tara lovin can’t fix."
"You like to think about that WAY too much sweetie."
"I’m a man, aren’t I?"
"Sometimes, yes."
Upon Xander’s pout, Caitlin laughed.
"Moooomm! It’s your turn! GO!"
"Ok, ok!"
Caitlin flipped over a card with two red squares on the back and moved her red piece across the board.
"Ha ha mommy, you’re stuck in the chocolate pit!!"
Caitlin pouted. "I never did like Candy Land!"
She ruffled Anya’s hair lightly as she got up off the couch, noticing that the little girl had got distracted with the gumdrop card. She made her way over to Xander, sitting beside him and hooking an arm around his.
"I wonder where Faith is…."
"Yeah, me too. I think I should call her and meet up or something…see how she’s holdin up. What do you think?"
"I think that she trusts you, and that you’ve always been there to support her."
"I’ll take that as a ‘good idea man-muffin’."
Caitlin smirked and pulled out her cell phone, flipping open the device and handing it to her husband.
Faith’s cell phone rang, startling her from her position on the park bench. ‘I hate these things, why’d I ever let B talk me into one?’ Pressing a button, she lifted the phone to her ear.
--"Hello?"
--"Faith? Hey, it’s me."
Faith smiled widely, momentarily forgetting all her troubles at the sound of the friendly and familiar voice.
--"Heey! Xand-man. To what do I owe the honor?"
--"How ‘bout the honor of never welcoming an old friend home!"
Faith furrowed her brow in puzzlement before her face took on a mask of realization.
--"Oh shit, I’m such an ass! You’re in town this month!"
--"Give the slayer a prize" Xander quipped playfully.
--"I’m sorry X, I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately…."
--"Hey, no apologies needed. That’s, um, actually why I’m calling….I heard about…ya know."
Faith frowned, looking over at a shrieking child falling off the swing set before answering.
--"Yeah…well shit happens."
--"Come on Faith, you can pull that apathetic crap on anyone else but you know it has no affect on me."
Faith sighed, knowing that the man on the other end of the phone probably knew her best out of anyone besides Buffy. She shifted her position on the bench, suddenly feeling very vulnerable and open.
--"What do you want me to do huh? Continue to hug and cry and learn and grow? I’ve been doin that for years now and look where it’s gotten me."
--"How about just meeting me for coffee or something so we don’t have to converse like this is a teen hot line."
--"I’m not really the ‘go-for-coffee’ type of girl."
--"Then we’ll go to a bar where we can talk over a nice shot of rum."
Faith laughed. Her first real laugh in what felt like forever. She didn’t realize until that moment how much she had actually missed him.
--"C’mon Faith…humor me."
--"All right smart ass, I’ll meet you but only cuz you’re payin me to."
--"Whoa what? When did money enter into the deal?"
--"Hey it just felt right. If Julia Roberts can say it in Pretty Woman to her pimp, why can’t I say it to mine?"
--"Ok, you’ve just gotten way too comfortable in this conversation for my own good."
--"All right all right….when do you want to have our secret little randevou?"
--"Tonight? Maybe in a few hours?"
--"At around sunset huh? Wow, you sure Cate’s ok with us havin an affair and all?"
--"Yeah, she’s fine with it. Besides I heard Anya really belonged to the mailman."
--"I knew it."
Xander chuckled and smiled into his phone. "I’ll see ya later Faith."
--"Later…"
Xander hung up the cell phone right as Buffy made her way into the apartment and Willow emerged from the back room with Tara.
"Hey Buff! So. What’d you get me? Huh, Huh?" Xander joked.
Closing the door behind her with a soft click, she turned and faced her friends.
"What? Oh….I must have forgotten it Xander, I’m sorry."
The blonde distractedly went over to the couch where Anya was finishing up a drawing.
"Aunty Buffy!!! Look! I made you a drawling!"
Buffy genuinely smiled down at the little girl holding out an oversized piece of paper with various marks of colors decorating its page. She took the paper and studied the drawing. It was of two stick figures holding what seemed to be a long stick in each hand.
"See!" Little Anya sat beside Buffy and pointed to the paper as she explained her masterpiece. "That’s you and Aunty Faith playing with your stick toys."
Xander tried to hold in his laughter but ultimately failed, resulting in a glare from Buffy and a light smack from Caitlin.
Buffy turned back and smiled at Anya.
"Thank you sweetie, I love it."
Satisfied, little Anya smiled and hugged Buffy before skipping off to the back room.
Willow and Tara made their way over to the couch. Willow sat beside Buffy and regarded her carefully.
"Was she there?"
"Yeah…"
"A-are you ok?"
Buffy considered the question for a bit before lifting her head and studying each person in the room.
"I will be…"
"Good Buffy. That’s good to hear because—"
Willow was cut off with a strong cough of her own.
"Whoa, hey Will you ok?"
Willow coughed a bit more, turning her head to Xander and swallowing back the tears from a painfully dry throat.
"Yeah I just…I just have something caught in my throat. Tara?"
"Yes baby…"
"Could you get me a glass of water?"
The two witches shared a look before Tara nodded and went off into the kitchen.
"Wills, are you sure you’re ok?"
"Seriously, Buffy, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me."
Buffy smiled at her friend and gave her a reassuring nod before Xander stood up and went to his bag.
"Well I gotta get ready to go out."
Buffy looked up and pouted slightly.
"Where are you going?"
Xander glanced at Caitlin, pleading silently for some form of backup.
"Uumm, we’re going out to dinner. Yeah, I thought it would be nice to treat my husband to a night out on his home town for once ya know?" Caitlin laughed nervously.
Buffy studied the two wearily for a few seconds before slightly grinning.
"Don’t go too wild, ya hear?"
"You know me Buff."
"Hence the warning."
"Ha ha."
Xander grabbed his bag along with Caitlin’s hand, heading off into the back room.
Tara came out with a glass of water, setting it gently in Willow’s hand and taking a seat next to her. The three friends were left alone. Once Willow had caught her breath and watered her throat, she spoke up.
"Would you like to go out tonight Buffy? Maybe help get your mind off…things?"
"Hunny I don’t think that’s such a good idea…."
Tara trailed off at the stern look Willow gave her.
"You know what? I would like that. Maybe we could go hit a bar or something?"
"A bar? Since when did you become the bar type?"
Buffy chuckled and pulled her hair back, retrieving a band from around her wrist and tying her hair in place.
"Since about a couple of days ago Tara."
Tara grinned at her. "I-If that’s what you want…."
"Yeah, we’re totally in Buffy. Whenever you wanna go is fine."
Buffy smiled widely. Mabye the day wouldn’t turn out to be so depressing after all. Slapping her hands on her thighs, she nodded.
"Ok. How about we just relax for a few hours and then hit the town."
"Sounds good. I’m just gonna go to the bathroom ok?"
Willow got up from the couch, heading quickly to the bathroom. Tara studied the red-head until she was out of sight, then glanced over and shared a quick smile with Buffy before turning away, trying to cover her sense of unease.
Faith let herself into her "house of horrors" as she now liked to call it. Running up the stairs to her room, she quickly sought out her desired apparel for a night of drinking, bonding and ranting, which mainly consisted of tight dark denim jeans and an even tighter tank top. One thing that could be said for the raven-haired beauty was that her sense of style had not changed one bit over the years of maturity.
Changing with no hurry, she zipped up her pants while walking out of the room. Going back downstairs, Faith fell onto the big chair in the corner of the room and flipped on the TV, deciding to kill a couple of hours before venturing out. Had Faith been aware of her surroundings, she would have noticed a figure duck out of the way of the window before scurrying away from the house itself.
Willow crouched over the toilet on her knees, dry heaving into the bowl before swallowing down the metallic taste of blood. She knelt there, with one sweaty palm holding up the rim of the toilet, the other balancing herself on the floor until she was certain the sudden urge to vomit had passed. The frail red head caught her breath, before turning around and slumping against the toilet, letting the rim fall with an echoing bang. Sitting there limp, tired, weak and frail, Willow Rosenberg began the agonizing process of shedding unabashed tears as she mentally watched herself dying.
Notes: No Dawn. The scooby crew is all grown up…kinda:). [ ] denotes
flashback.
Dedication: To all the feedbackers, cuz it’s you who I write this stuff for.
[The morning rays of sunshine began filtering through the master bedroom, filling up the cream colored walls and satin sheets with a dazzling wash of gold. To the left of the bed was a brilliant sized window encased in oak, spotlessly clean and half-opened to the morning air. The playful breezes of spring began to dance their way through the red satin curtains, pushing them aside and making their way into the room.
The breeze caressed its way across the oak dresser, suddenly dipping down to swirl over the hardwood floor as if it was saying good morning to the sun’s reflections. It blew past the sheepskin rug, running its gentle touch up the side of the plush bed. It lingered within the red satin sheets before switching its course and making its way over to the oversized chair that rested in the opposite corner of the room.
It swirled around delicately crossed ankles and up milky white thighs. It blew past lazily moving fingers and curled around muscular, yet delicate arms. Finally, the breeze buried itself within long layers of golden hair mixed with a hint of auburn.
Buffy allowed herself to smile with the breeze as it kissed her cheeks and aroused her senses. Closing her eyes, she took in a long, deep breath and concentrated on her atmosphere. The breeze brought with it spring, enveloping the room in its scent of crisp leaves and budding flowers. She could hear the distant song of chimes starting its dance with morning.
Their frequent visitors of sparrows began the day’s chatter and the soft sound of the curtains fluffing against the window as the breeze rode in made Buffy feel utterly at peace. After soaking up her surroundings, Buffy re-opened her eyes and continued to watch what she had been watching for the better part of the morning.
She watched as Faith stirred softly in her sleep, before quieting down and continuing to rest soundly on her stomach. The red satin sheet was pulled down to just above her bare backside, allowing the morning sun to illuminate the soft olive skin and chiseled features of her back. Buffy watched as the breeze toyed lazily with Faith’s thick and silken locks of dark perfection. She marveled at the way Faith’s lower lip occasionally twitched and the way her body rose and fell with each deep and steady breath. Buffy couldn’t help but think that if this were what heaven had in store for her, she wouldn’t mind dying right now.
The older slayer remained lost in the beauty of her lover and the sounds of nature before she realized that she was being lazily smiled at.
“You been watchin' over me all morning?”
Faith twisted her body so she now lay on her back, causing the satin sheet to fall loosely over her skin so it was now barely covering her delicate curls. She stretched her arms above her head and lazily arched her back toward the morning sun.
Buffy tilted her head and studied her, slowly blinking and smiling at the perfection of her lover’s body that was now only enhanced by the golden glow of the room. She spoke softly.
“I have something for you.”
Faith kept her arms rested above her head as she cast Buffy an amused expression. The blonde retrieved a small box from the table that sat beside the oversized chair. She uncrossed her ankles and pushed herself up from the chair, making her way over to where her now awakened beauty rested.
Getting onto the bed, Buffy slowly crawled over to her lover. Faith laid there, comfortably still as she watched Buffy’s body nearing her own.
“It ain't my birthday B, and you haven’t done anything wrong, so what’s the occasion?”
Buffy just smiled. She ran her fingertips over Faith’s taught stomach, tracing a tender pattern just below the swell of her bear breast before setting her palm on the bed in order to balance herself. She dipped her head down and touched her lips against Faith’s. Golden hair provided a warm shield around their faces as the two girls kissed slowly and passionately, knowing that today they had all the time in the world to loose themselves in one another.
After a few moments, Buffy broke the kiss slowly and licked her lips. She brought the black velvet box up to Faith’s cheek, trailing the box down the smooth skin of her face, down her jawbone and across her collarbone, before finally setting the box in-between Faith’s breasts.
“You know what day it is, and I just wanted to get you something to remind you I hadn’t forgotten.”
Faith lifted her hand and smoothed her fingers over Buffy’s hair, tucking some strands behind her ear.
“I know what day it is, but I thought we agreed no gifts. I mean, I didn’t really get you anything.”
Buffy smiled at the guilty expression on Faith’s face. She dipped her head down once more and kissed her lips gently before replying.
“What you did to me last night was more than satisfying…”
The two girls shared a knowing smile.
“And besides Faith, you just being here with me is more of a gift than I could ever dream. Now go ahead and open it.”
Buffy smiled and nudged the black box a bit. With a rye smile, Faith grasped the box with her fingertips and studied its material for a moment. It was obvious that the box was meant to conceal a piece of jewelry.
Looking back at Buffy, she opened the box and smiled at her lover before looking down and noticing her gift.
On a simple silver chain was attached two intricate looking letters: “B” and “F”. The two letters melded together, with the top half of the “F” fitting neatly through the openings of the “B”.
Faith took the necklace and let the feel of the cool metal fall in-between each of her fingers. She looked back up at Buffy with smoky eyes and joyful lips.
“This is….B, it’s beautiful.”
Buffy reached up and let her fingertips trail lightly down one of Faith’s cheeks.
“I love you. I want you to always remember that. Whatever happens, whatever bad things might come our way, we can always get through it, together. We belong to each other Faith, and like those letters our souls are entwined.”
Faith grinned a bit.
“How long did it take you to memorize that?”
“'Bout an hour, not counting the fifteen minutes it took to write down.”
Faith laughed before straining her neck to lean up and kiss Buffy. They shared another deep kiss for a minute or so before Buffy broke away gently.
“Here, let me put it on you.”
As Buffy went to wrap the chain around Faith’s neck, the metal accidentally slipped from her fingers, sliding down the edge of the bed and falling to the ground…..]
“Shit.”
Faith quickly bent down and retrieved her necklace. At parts, the chain had grown a rust color over the years and had been broken so many times that Faith had lost count. Despite its wear and tear, the slayer always managed to find the silver pendant and fix the chain. Ever since the day she had received it, she had never taken it off willingly, and always refused to replace the chain whenever Buffy commented on its rust color.
To Faith, the rust and aged looked signified their relationship: worn at parts, but always staying together.
Running late, she quickly shoved the necklace in her pocket and grabbed her jacket, trying to ignore the sound of the phone from inside the pocket.
Throwing on her jacket and unable to stand the incessant ring any longer, she fished the phone out and flipped it open.
---“Yeah! I know I’m late!”
---“Just wanted to make sure you weren’t planning on bailing on me.”
---“Xander! I’ve been hangin out with nothin' but chicks for months now. I wouldn’t bail on you.”
---“Ok then hurry up! There’s a guy at the end of the bar that’s been staring at me ever since I got here. I need a decoy girlfriend!”
Faith laughed while she made her way down the stairs.
---“I’ll see you in ten.”
With that she hung up the phone and was careful not to slam the door on her way out.
The three girls had gotten themselves ready in record time after having said goodbye to Xander and his family. Buffy was still doing the final touches to her eyeliner as Tara and Willow looked at each other before stripping off their shirts and trading one another.
Willow spoke as she put on her girlfriend’s shirt.
“So….where exactly did you….ummpph.”
Tara laughed and went over to her lover, setting Willow free from being stuck inside the shirt. Letting out a breath and straightening her hair, she continued.
“Thanks! Anyways, Buffy? Where did you want to go tonight?”
Buffy blinked and studied herself in the mirror, brushing some makeup from her eye before recapping the eyeliner.
“Well, considering it’s Sunnydale I’m not drowning in choices. I mean, how many NON-demon bars do we have here?”
“Um, I think there’s just one and I don’t know if it’s the kind of place you’re looking for.”
“How do you know Tara, it might be fun? C’mon, what’s it called?”
Tara shifted and looked at Willow.
“I-it’s called ‘Passions Hideaway’. It’s a single’s bar.”
Buffy’s flinch at the word “single” didn’t go unnoticed by either Tara or Willow. Suddenly, however, Willow’s brow furrowed and she turned towards her girlfriend.
“How do you know about this place?”
Tara flashed a lopsided grin.
“My life wasn’t always sunshine before I met you sweety.”
At that, Willow smiled and unconsciously leaned into her lover for a kiss. They kissed a few moments before they heard Buffy clear her throat.
“I’m just…I’m gonna go to the bathroom, then we can go. It doesn’t matter, a bar’s a bar right?”
The blonde smiled, turning on her heel and heading out of the room. Willow glanced at Tara a little guiltily.
“Maybe we should turn off the ‘couply’ mode for tonight?”
“I think so too. She’s still coping. We don’t need to rub her face in it.”
“And if I catch you rubbing anything else in this bar of yours, you’re going to be in a world of trouble missy!”
Tara laughed as they heard the bathroom door opening and Buffy yelling from the hallway.
“Let’s go you two!”
Willow grabbed an overcoat and Tara did the same.
“Do you have tissues with you?”
“No, why?”
“Can you get some? I might need them later.”
As Willow left the room, Tara stuffed some tissues in her pocket, resisting the urge to scream at her lover for thinking this was a good idea.
“All right, one more time. WHY did we have to meet HERE?”
Xander downed the last of his drink and tossed the pink umbrella that was left over, to the side.
“Because, it’s the only bar that isn’t crawling with demons, and any bar like that is ok by me.”
The bartender suddenly came over, noticing Faith right away.
“Ah, you’re back. Couldn’t get enough of….”
He trailed off as soon as he caught the warning glance that Faith was threatening him with.
“..of um…oh sorry….I uh, I thought you were someone else. Nevermind. W-what can I get you?”
“Bourbon, straight up.”
Nodding his head, he glanced at Xander and then back at Faith before quickly walking away to grant her request. She turned back to Xander.
“So what’s up career boy? How’s the fam?”
“Caitlin’s doing good, as is Anya. You should see her now, she’s getting big.”
“Yeah where is the little firecracker tonight?”
“Cate took her to a movie. She knew why I had to see you alone.”
Faith sighed, swiveling in her stool to take the shot of Bourbon that the man had brought her. She quickly threw it back, slamming the glass back down and motioning for him to get her another while her face recovered from the first stings of alcohol in her throat.
“Look, X, I know you wanted to come here and have me cry and whine about Buffy, but can we just not?”
“You’re not worthless and you haven’t lost her, because I know that’s what you’re thinking. And despite whatever insecurities you’re feeling, you have to know that you’re never alone. I just wanted to make sure you’re….well you know.”
Faith and Xander looked at one another seriously, the brunette knowing exactly what the man was referring to.
“I’m hanging in there, but you don’t have to worry….I won’t go down that road again. ‘Sides, it left me feeling emptier than my bed is right now.”
She winked at her friend and Xander smiled, resting his hand on top of hers.
“Good. Now with that out of the way, let’s say you and me get order some food huh? I’m starving!”
“X, this is a bar! All they got here are peanuts and pretzels.”
“Man! I forgot how behind Sunnydale was in their marketing techniques.”
Faith shook her head, shoving a bowl of pretzels Xander’s way. She smirked and watched as Xander dove his hand into the bowl before feeling someone tap her shoulder.
Turning around she came face to face, yet again, with the blonde from the other night. She furrowed her brow.
“Uh…hi.”
“Hey gorgeous. Do you remember me?”
She turned and spared a glance at Xander who merely raised his eyebrows and shrugged.
“Yeah sort of, you were here the other night…ummm.”
“Rachel. And my, I’m impressed by your memory. After all, you weren’t exactly in a place to remember everything that night.”
She smiled a smile somewhat akin to Buffy’s and suddenly Faith felt the urge to actually talk to this girl. Glancing at Xander yet again, she waved the girl over to the other side of the stool.
“Well, Rachel, you can join me and my friend here if you want.”
With a glint in her eye that went unnoticed by Faith and Xander, she slowly sat down and smiled.
“Don’t mind if I do….”
...to be continued...