Waiting To Love You
by ForeverFaith
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Faith and Buffy belong to Joss & co.
Looking at you, seeing you, trying to feel you. Do you see me? Do you try to feel me? Do you look at me and want from afar? I try to be good. Try to live up To your standards but does it work? Am I good enough for you? Do I catch your eye when no one else is looking? I see you, need you, love you. Do you know what my reality is like? Do you know what grim reality I live in? The reality of never being able to touch you. Always livin in the shadows of The next Beefstick that should come along. Everything I do is for you. Everything I am is because of you…you’re the source of me. I see you, watch you, hate you. I watch you spread your light Over everyone but me. Watch you bring happiness to Those that are lucky enough to be with you Except me. Do you shed that same light on me? No. You stop short, every time, Turning it off because you’re too scared. Too scared to realize you watch me. You need me. You love me as much as I love you. Instead you turn away just when you Are about to let me know, To tell me that I completed you. You turned away. I saw your face distort. Distort into the beast of confusion. The beast of shock…the beast of fear and unknowing As you wrestled with the thought of me. You wanted me. I know that now. I see you, watch you, loathed you for backing down. Hated you for turning me away. You were too scared to love me, Just as I was too scared to stay. So I left you, hated you, betrayed you. I tried to get back at you but my emptiness remained. I did it for you though… You make me crazy, You drive me insane… I want you. I left, I cried, I waited. Waited for you to hear me out. Waited for you to listen to my heart. But you did it again. You pushed me away and my soul was forever changed. I watched. I watched as the mist settled over the city of angels. Watched as my body flung over the Edge of the brick building…but then you came. You came to the roof, you spoke, you Followed me just as I knew you would You always follow me. You were hurting. We tried to talk, tried to get everything out. I know I spat on you, but you wronged me first. You wronged me when you blamed me For our mistake. For our mistake of never telling each other What we had bottled up inside. I couldn’t take it, seeing you, hating you, loving you. Knowing that I had destroyed you just as Much as you destroyed me… Hell, we demolished each other. So I left, I bolted, I ran. But this time I ran to where you Wanted me to go. I said what you wanted me to say. I did what we both wanted me to do. I left because you wanted it. All of it, everything, for you. So now I sit here, thinking staring, waiting. Waiting for you to come back. Waiting for you to see me, to talk to me, need me. Waiting for you to come back And say what we both know has been True since the day we met… Waiting for you to say "Faith, I love you" And if I’ll be damned Buffy, I love you too.