Wonderful Life
by Samantha
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Buffy and Faith still aren't mine and the
lyrics aren't either, they belong to Gwen Stefani.
Notes: I don't think I will ever write a happy Buffy
and Faith fic, hence why I've been gone so long but I
was feeling in the mood for a Buffy fic today. So
here we are.
Feedback: It's been a long time folks, of course I
want it.
::It's a wonderful, wonderful life Why'd you have to say goodbye It's a wonderful, wonderful life I'm asking why but I'll never know It's a wonderful, wonderful life::
I stepped into her house with no hesitation, amazing it's been years, I've never even been to this house, still I could tell you she lived here. I could tell you by the smell, by the half full can of coke on the coffee table, I could give you a million reasons to know she lived here.
I dropped my bag in the hall, knowing it would annoy her, but not really in the mood to mind, after all it was her fault I was here at all. Where was he? I wasn't in the mood to see him, even though I knew it would be better for all of us if he was here.
"Faith?" She called from the other room when she heard my bag hit the ground. I took a deep breath, preparing myself to see her again.
Yeah right.
Nothing could ever prepare me to see her. She came about the corner, smiling, so happy to see me again. "How are you?" She asked, hugging me tightly.
Fool that I am I melted into her, holding her close and trying not to remember how painful it always was. "Hey, B." I spoke softly burying my face in her hair and taking in the scent of her, that vanilla cherry smell that haunted my dreams and sent me walking after strangers before I could stop myself.
"You look good," she pulled back, keeping her hands on my arms and getting a good look at me. I'm sure my traveled on the bus all day, torn jeans and a sweatshirt was a sexy look. In fact that was exactly what I was not going for when I got dressed this morning.
Her however, beautiful didn't quite describe it. Her hair was a bit lighter, and she was wearing it in waves again, a cut that always suited her. Her jeans hung perfect on her hips holding them in a way my hands were itching to imitate.
"You look good too," I told her, after taking her in for an unreasonable amount of time, something I was sure she noticed, something about that little smile she gave me, it's the one she always used when she knew what I was thinking.
"Come in the kitchen, I'm just making lunch." She turned and headed back toward the kitchen, and after a moment of watching her go, I followed. Nothing about that woman had aged badly.
"You cook?" I teased, leaning against the counter opposite her.
"Ha," she answered dryly. "It's a sandwich, I can handle a sandwich thank you very much."
"Alright, make me one too then, let's see these skills," I teased, hoping it was coming out a lot more casual than I was feeling.
"Fine," she turned and stepped up to me, leaving very little space between us. "Um, Faith?"
"Yeah?" I answered, swallowing hard to find myself this close to her again.
"I need to get in the drawer behind you for a knife." She gave that small smile again.
"Oh, sure," I moved a bit, letting her open the drawer and reach for the knife, as she did I noticed a glint of silver.
Without thinking I reached out, gently pushing back her sleeve, she rested her hand on the drawer as I fingered the thin silver bracelet I had given her just before I left. When I looked up at her she was looking at me.
"Why?" I asked.
She looked down at the bracelet, and my hand on her wrist, warm skin on skin. "I just," she started. I twisted my hand, taking her hand in mine and pulling her to me.
It was everything I wish I could have been bold enough to do before. I pulled her against me, hands sliding around her thin waist. There was a moment of hesitation as she looked up at me, she didn't move to kiss me, but as I leaned in she didn't try to pull away.
As soon as our lips met she was kissing me back, quickly her hands snaked up my arms and around my neck, twisting into my hair and holding me tight as we kissed.
This was a bad idea.
I push her away and step back, wiping my mouth and wishing I had never done that again. I don't really hear her come up behind me, but I know she's there.
"Where is he?" I ask, and am not surprised when her answer comes from right behind me.
"Away for the weekend."
"Why did you invite me here?" I ask, turning to face her, trying not to shout, not to be so fucking angry at her.
"Same reason you came, I guess," she shrugs and sits on the couch, sandwiches obviously forgotten.
"B, I got my life together now, I have a great girlfriend, and job and life has been really good for a while now." Can't she just understand that? Understand how much I need to not be pulled back into her? "Not to mention the little bit where you're engaged."
"Then why did you kiss me?" She asks, those big eyes turned up at me, half accusing, and half demanding more.
"Because you're you," I shout it, I can't help myself. Finally I've just lost any bit of cool I might have had when I stepped through that door. "Same reason I came as soon as you called, even though I knew it would be bad, fuck B."
I sunk into a chair, hands on my head, rubbing my temples, I remember this headache, this is a Buffy headache, you know who I don't get these headaches from? My new girlfriend, that's who, so why the fuck am I here, kissing Buffy almost as soon as the door is shut.
"I miss you," three fucking little words that she knows cut to the center of me. I let out a long sigh.
"I miss you too," I nod looking up at her. "But we aren't good together, B. We never were."
"I know," she nods, suddenly very intent on studying her nails. "I just wanted to see you one more time I guess. I think about you a lot."
"I think about you a lot," I nod in agreement.
"I guess I just wanted to have this one more time, this weekend seemed like the perfect opportunity." She shrugged and looked up again at me, eyes full of a sadness I understood deeply.
"I can't stay," I grimaced to say it. There was nothing I wanted more than to feel her against me, I'd been down that road though, and let me tell you, here be fucking monsters.
"I know," she nodded and stood. I stood too, and she gave a small laugh.
"What?" I asked, smiling a bit myself, her laugh always did that to me.
"I really just can't believe you came all this way for that. I was counting on you to be the one pushing for it, not to go all reasonable on me."
"I've grown up, B," I answer, surprised to realize it's true.
As she walks me to the door I risk taking her hand, a dumb move because touching her even just like this sends sparks through my body. Still when we get to the door I am able to let go, and bend to pick up my bag, head spinning from what I am about to leave behind.
I face her. "Well," I start to open the door.
She's on me then, lips against mine, and we're kissing again, there's none of the hesitation of our previous kisses, this is all out, this is a desire laced, send your brain running straight out the door, give your senses full run of your body sort of kiss.
When she pulls away I almost whimper. She looks at me, biting her lip and fidgeting nervously. "You should go," she reaches past me and opens the door.
There's a moment here when I think about slamming the door shut, taking her and having my way with her in every room of his house, forgetting everything that's happened before, and just living for this, for these few hours with her.
I step back out of the door slowly, give her a small smile and turn to head back to the bus stop.
"I love you," she says softly, and honestly those words stop me dead in my tracks. I turn back to her, taking a long look at her in the doorway.
"I know. I love you too."
As she shuts the door I know this is the end. I know our chance is over.