Out To Lunch, Vamps Stay Home
by BFtc2
Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own Nothing.
Feedback: Any is welcome.

Cordelia came hopping down the stairs from her guest room, a bright smile lighting up her features as she surveyed the occupants of the living room. Seeing Gunn and Fred each bouncing a baby in their arms, the brunette shook her head, asking, "So, who wants to go out to lunch?"

All but two hands went up, Spike and Angel, unable to go out in the afternoon sun, kept their hands at their sides. Seeing an opportunity, Angel smiled sweetly at the two slayers. "I can stay here and watch the little ones."

"We'll watch the little bobbins." Spike corrected, swatting the older vampire's shoulder.

Raising a dark eyebrow, Faith asked, "You two sure you can handle them?"

Coming up beside her wife, Buffy slipped her arms around the brunette's waist. "Yeah, they can be a handful sometimes."

"Oh piffle," Spike brushed off the slayers concerns with a wave of his hand. "Me and the Poof here haven't lived this long without picking up some skills along the way." Patting Angel on the back a little harder than necessary, Spike smiled. "Right gel boy?"

Angel growled under his breath at the blonde vampire as Gunn spoke up in the back. "You haven't 'Lived' this long, you've been the walking 'Dead' this long."

"Ok, so it's settled," Cordelia said with a clap of her hands. "You two got baby duty, and we're leaving."

Gunn and Fred handed the twins over to each of the men, while Faith pulled a reluctant Buffy out the door after the rest of the group.

** 1 YEAR PRIOR **

"Faith!"

The brunette's head shot up from the photo she'd been developing as she raced out of the darkroom. Taking the stairs two at a time, she rushed into the bathroom and found Buffy. Her wife was sitting on the closed toilet, her hand clutching her stomach, and her breathing shallow.

Buffy looked up into worried brown eyes and gave a trembling smile. "I think our babies want to come out now."

"Oh god, oh god... oh shit!" Faith started pacing around the bathroom, running her hands through her hair. "We've, we've gotta, we've gotta get you bag." Kneeling down Faith scooped Buffy up into her arms, her slayer strength allowing her to lift her heavier wife. "Gotta get your bag, then to the hospital, remember the breathing."

Capturing Faith's face between her hands, Buffy swooped in and covered the brunette's mouth with her own. Pulling back from the kiss, she rested her forehead against her love's. "First you have to calm down, we're gonna have to wait a while." Seeing the worried frown still in place, she ran her fingers through dark hairs in a soothing gesture. "Everything's going to be fine, and by the end of it all we'll get to see our beautiful children."

Leaning forward, Faith captured Buffy's lips in a tender kiss. Sighing softly, she carried her wife out of the bathroom. "Ok, every thing's gonna go fine, but we still need to get you to the hospital."

"Ok." Laying her head down on Faith shoulder, Buffy allowed her worry-wort wife to take control.

** PRESENT DAY **

"Hey Nancy Boy, get in here quick!" Spike called from the living room. "This one's doing some thing funny, his face is all red and bunched up." When Angel walked into the room bouncing a howling Maxine, Spike looked up at his grandsire with pleading eyes. "What's it doing?"

His face the picture of exasperation, Angel released a deep sigh that went on heard do to Max's crying. "I don't know, check his diaper."

"You mean take it off?" The bleached blonde asked in fear. Looking up he released a sigh of his own when Angel just lifted a challenging eyebrow. Shaking his head, he asked, "Why couldn't a vampire's sense of smell go out along with the need to breath?"

"Oh man!" Angel said in disgust as he looked down at the white glob trailing from Maxine's smiling face to his usual black attire. "How long does lunch last?"

"Ahhhhhh!" Spike yelled, holding his hands up in an attempt to block the yellow liquid sailing towards his face.

*****

Buffy rested her head on Faith's shoulder as they walked hand in hand to the car. Kissing the top of the blonde's head, Faith asked, "How do you think Billy boy and A are doing?"

"They're two grown men who've been around for more than one life time," looking up, Buffy smiled into deep brown eyes. "I'm sure they're fine." Climbing into the back of the black convertible with her wife, she snuggled into her slayer's arms as Cordelia drove them home.

** 1 YEAR PRIOR **

"Faith! Get them out of me! Now!" Buffy roared at the top of her lungs, the hand holding her wife's tightening with each word. Breathing in quick shallow gulps of air, she said, "I can take pain, but this is ridiculous."

Ignoring the crushed feeling in her hand, Faith used her free one to smooth back the sweaty hairs on her lover's forehead. "B, look at me... come on baby, look at me." When green eyes finally locked with her's, she gave a slight smile. "That's it baby, now we've gotta start your breathing ok? Just do what I'm doing sweetie, ok?"

Nodding her head, Buffy's breathing started to match Faith's, recognizing the rhythm from their class. Not taking her eyes from Faith's, she did every thing her chocolate eyed lover told her too. When the brunette started telling her to push, she'd never felt more relieved in her life.

"That's it sweets, just give us one more push and our little girl can join her brother." Faith said, her eyes misted over with unshed tears as she caressed the blonde's cheek. "Come on baby you can do this." Holding Buffy's hand tightly, she pressed her forehead to her exhausted wife's sweaty brow. "Come on baby, just one more push."

Staring into her wife's brown eyes, Buffy's forehead wrinkled with the effort she put into her last push. Her teeth clenched and she let out a low groan before the room was filled with the sound of a screaming little brunette. Smiling into the shining pools looking down at her, she took a few deep breaths before saying, "I love you, but next time you're the one having the kids."

Kissing her wife's lips tenderly, Faith smiled at the beautiful blonde. "Alright B, what ever you say."

** PRESENT DAY **

When the group walked in the door, the two slayers found a baby being held out to them by one of two frustrated looking vampires. Taking Logan from Spike, Buffy looked over to see Faith cooing softly to Maxie. "What happened?" She asked some what hesitantly. Judging form the two men's expressions, they didn't have a good time with the babies.

Grabbing a blanket from the stair rail, Spike wrapped it around himself before answering. "The little buggar pis-" Seeing the green eyes narrow in warning, he corrected himself. "I got peed on by your charming son." With that said, he went out the door and headed for the hotel.

Following Spike's example, Angel said, "She threw up on me." He pointed to a smiling Maxine, happily bouncing in the brunette slayer's arms. Going to walk out the door, he paused to add, "Four times."

When both huffy vampires had left, the entire group looked from one another, then to the two smiling children before bursting out in laughter. Hugging Maxie tightly to her, Faith whispered, "That's my girl."

Buffy rubbed Logan's back as she kissed his forehead. "I think Uncle Spike likes you." Chuckling softly, she lead the way into the living room.

...continued in Holiday Traditions...