Path to Forgiveness
by BL
Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters and other familiars from Buffy and Angel belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, Fox, and everyone else that owns them.
Spoilers: After Faith went to jail.
Note: I was sitting around and suddenly decided that I wanted to write a fic. I had read all these great pieces and decided I would take a stab at it. This is my first time and I would really like to know what you all think. I am sorry for all the long sappy speeches that I am giving to Faith but bear with me...I think I might try making the next stories a little more lighthearted from now on...Let me know what you think.
Feedback: Would greatly appreciate it.

Faith and Buffy stood outside of Giles' door. The Scoobies were assembled inside waiting for the two.

"I...I can't do this B." Faith said nervously.

"Faith, you promised me that you would try. Just be yourself...the real you and everything will be fine." Buffy lifted Faith's chin so that she was staring straight into her eyes. "I want you to know that I will be with you every step of the way. I know you can do this because I believe in you. Do you understand me?"

Faith nodded hesitantly and took a deep breath. "OK...let's do this."

And with that they walked into Giles' house to face the firing squad.

As they stepped in, all eyes were suddenly focused on the pair. Hatred was evident in the eyes of Xander and Willow, while Giles tried to hide his discomfort by cleaning his glasses. Tara was studying Faith intently while Anya had a look of boredom. She only had one thing to say to Faith, "Xander is mine. You can't have him." And with that Anya sat back and waited for this meeting to be over.

Faith tried to contain a smirk and immediately snapped back to seriousness when she took in the faces of Willow and Xander. "OK, I know you guys hate me."

"Hate?! I think that might be an understatement." Xander interrupted.

"Xander! Let her finish!" Buffy retorted.

Xander flashed a look of surprise at Buffy but remained quiet while Faith continued, "Look I know I did a lot of shit but Buffy here has given me another chance and I want to make things right with all of you. So...I guess what I'm trying to say is...is that I'm sorry."

At this point Willow decided to make her opinion know, "You're SORRY!! Do you really think that sorry is going to solve everything...you tried to kill us and you would have succeeded unless Buffy hadn't stabbed you...which you deserved..." her rant was cut short by Tara's hand on her arm. Willow looked at the shy blonde with a confused look on her face.

Tara smiled shyly at the red haired wicca and stood up. "Faith, I don't know you but I think you deserve another chance." Tara sat back down and whispered to Willow, "Her aura is different...we can trust her now." Willow looked back in shock and was about to comment when Tara continued, "Do you trust me?" Willow nodded mutely. "Good then trust Buffy and know that Faith is truly sorry."

Willow looked at Faith and saw that the dark slayer did look different. Her stance was not aggressive but rather subdued and it was if she had lost any reason to live. Faith looked deflated. Willow softened a little but she was not ready to completely forgive the person who had tried to kill her.

Xander, however, was not as easy to convince. "I don't believe this. I am leaving and when you guys come to your senses, you can come find me." With those words he walked out with Anya in tow.

Giles who had been quiet during the entire ordeal decided to speak up, "Faith, I don't trust you..." At these words Faith seemed to shrink even more. "But I do trust Buffy and I realize that your actions were not entirely your fault..." Faith seemed like she was about to deny his words but he silenced her with a look, "and I think you deserve another chance."

Buffy smiled at these words and went to give Giles a hug. She whispered in his ear, "Thank you Giles. I will help her this time. She will be good."

Giles whispered back, "I know she will...with you to guide her."

Buffy spoke to those remaining, "I am going to bring Faith back to my house and then we are going to patrol tonight. I'll see you guys tomorrow." And with those words she guided Faith out of the house.

"Wow B, that actually didn't go THAT bad. I'm still alive, always a plus."

"Don't worry Faith, they'll all come around eventually and look on the good side, Tara thinks you're good."

"Yeah...I don't know why...but yeah that is a good thing."

*****

Weeks passed and things were civil at least. Xander was still furious at Faith but Willow was seeing day by day that Faith had changed. However, she wasn't completely convinced so she decided that she needed to talk to Faith alone to see if she could see past all of the hurt and forgive Faith once and for all.

Willow finally found herself alone in the kitchen with Faith so she decided that this was the time, "Faith?"

"Yeah, what's up Willow?" Faith asked with trepidation in her voice.

Willow had noticed that that was another part of the dark slayer that had changed. She no longer exuded the confidence that she did in the past. She seemed beaten and tired. "Umm...I was hoping that we could talk...just us...there are just some things that I want to get cleared up."

Faith nodded slowly, she knew that she would eventually have to do this, "Sure...where do you want to go?"

*****

Willow was sitting at the head of the bed leaning against the headboard. Faith sat at the foot of the bed. They had been sitting there for a few minutes in awkward silence when Willow finally decided to speak, "Alright Faith, I'll get right to it. I see that you have changed, however, I am not completely convinced. I wanted to talk to you to help myself to really convince myself that you have changed fully."

Faith nodded, "Ok...so how do you suggest we start this?"

Willow sat and thought for a minute, "Well Buffy suggested that I get to know the real you so show me the real you." Willow said matter-of-factly.

"Gee Red, anything else you want? How about I find the cure for cancer while I'm at it." For that short second the old Faith was back, the one that joked and seemed happy. Faith stopped at the glare that she received for that comment. She held her hands up in defeat. "Sorry, sorry...it's...it's just that...it's not the easiest thing for me to open up and I can't just do it on command but I'll try." Faith looked up and caught Willow's eyes for a brief second.

Willow thought that she saw a brief glimpse of innocence and vulnerability in Faith's eyes but just as soon as they had made eye contact, it was broken. Willow sat there silently allowing Faith to continue.

"Do you know what it's like?" Willow had a look of confusion cross her face. "What it's like to go through life and not have anybody see you...the real you? All they see is the person that you project. I guess I grew up not really showing my feelings...it was just easier that way. I couldn't get emotional...you know? And I guess years of never showing my true feelings really messed me up. I never showed anybody who I was. I felt like I was playing a part....sometimes..." Faith combed her fingers through her hair, showing her true nervousness about the confession. "Sometimes it got really tiring. It's not easy living up to a role...a mask of who you think you are.

"As crazy as this sounds but sometimes I find myself thinking about what I am going to say in different situations and then I recite it like it's from some script. Sometimes I think that I'm the best actress in the world because I have this carefully constructed persona and nobody sees that it's all fake. Nobody...and all I ever wanted was for someone to call me on my shit. All I wanted was for someone to finally see past the act and see that I was someone completely different.

"When I came to Sunnydale...I met you guys...and you were the nicest people that I had ever met. I felt like I could have some real friends, at least for a little while...but then I saw that you guys liked the act...you like 'slutty Faith.' So I kept up appearances even though all I wanted to do was act like myself but it's like...it's like I didn't even know how. And then I got to know B...Buffy a little better and I thought she saw the real me. But she didn't...not one of you did...and I snapped. I was so close to everything I had ever wanted in my life but then...just as quickly it was gone."

Faith stopped and stared at an invisible spot on the ground. She was not used to being this honest. All this emotional outpouring was taking a toll on her. She didn't like the feeling of being vulnerable...she was scared...all her instincts told her to run but for once in her life she showed true strength and bared her soul.

Willow sat there in shock. She had to take it all in. She had been blind, all of them had been. Here was this young girl who had dealt with so much...it was amazing. She knew that words would not do anything to help the situation or express her amazement so she slowly got up and walked in front of Faith. She knelt down and gently wrapped her arms around this strong woman. To say that Faith was shocked would be an understatement...but she welcomed the hug and allowed herself the comfort. Willow whispered three words that would bring tears to Faith's eyes, "I forgive you."

...continued in Love Realized...