Say Hello And Wave Goodbye
by Elaine Martin
Rating: R
Disclaimer: They're finally mine. After hours of intense discussion, Joss
has finally signed over the characters to me.... Actually no, that's a
blatant lie. He still owns them, and I own a piece of crap air purifier
that seems to be making my bloody flu worse. Hmmph.
Author's Notes: - Firstly, I've been somewhat AWOL for the past few weeks. I
started a fic many moons ago, back when we still believed the earth was flat
and God was a cow.... or something. I will get back to that ('This Years
Love'), one of these days...
- I have also neglected the entire area of FB *hangs head in shame*,
although I am reading and LOVING all fics posted, and I promise, PROMISE,
PROOOOMMMMIIIISE, that I will send you all individual feedback. No really,
I lie not.
- This fic is a strange one. The idea sort of evolved while lying on my
death bed last night (ok, I have the flu, but I feel nay good *sniff*) I
was watching an old ep of friends 'TOW the morning after', you know the one,
R&R -disclaimer: don't own them either - take a break coz he's horribly
possesive, he goes off, gets hammered and sleeps with the copy girl......
Presumably you know the outcome (and if you don't SHAME ON YOU!) Anyhoo,
this fic is based on that. Please blame all errors, spelling mistakes and
general crappness of fic on the fact that I'm dying... ok, I have the flu,
but my throat hurts, 'n my nose is stuffy, and.... *apparently I'm whingeing
aloud. Mother glares at me with look of pure disdain while muttering what
sounds very much like 'bloody hypochondriac'*
- Oh! Title taken from David Gray track.
Feedback: Purdy purlease? I'll even include a cherry.... fuckit, I'll throw
in some ice-cream too!
Faith's expression was blank as Buffy draped an arm around her. Swigging from her plastic cup of JD, she pushed Buffy aside as the blonde trailed gentle kisses across her neck.
"What's wrong baby?" Buffy swung onto Faith's lap, lips pouting in feigned indignation.
"What do you think you're doing out there?" She stood abruptly, causing Buffy to falter on her feet.
"Well, there was music, and my arms and legs were moving. I think it was that new fangled thing the kids call 'dancing'." Buffy grinned, wrapping bronzed arms around her girlfriend's neck.
"Jesus B, you call that dancing?" Faith glared at Buffy, shoving her arms aside.
Eyebrows furrowed, Buffy appraised her girlfriend. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"Christ B, don't act fuckin' dumb with me. You know as well as I do that Spike's standing over there, his fuckin' tongue hanging out. You're practically begging him to fuck you!"
Buffys face reddened as her arm shot out, the stinging slap connecting with Faith's cheek. "Dammit Faith! I'm sick of this! Sick of your constant accusations. If it was up to you, I'd stay inside 24/7, only leaving the house in full ski-gear, balaclava and sunglasses included!"
Faith laughed sardonically. "Funny B. Always with a ha-ha. Do you and Spike share little jokes after a fuck-fest? Do you laugh together about stupid little Faith... stupid clueless little Faith? But I know B, I see the way he looks at you..."
"JESUS CHRIST Faith!!!" Buffy gripped the brunette's shoulders, shaking her violently, the remnants of the plastic cup spilling over both. "How can you be so damn paranoid?! It's you I want... you I love! What me and Spike had is OVER. It was warped, and twisted, and it meant NOTHING, do you hear me! NOTHING!"
"Don't give me that crap, B! Just tell me straight... you want Spike, don't you!" Buffy felt her anger subside, replaced by a fatigue that she had never before felt. She closed her eyes, willing away the impending tears. Faith glared at her, a mixture of rage and confusion, fists balled by her sides, breath erratic and heavy.
"Faith," almost a whisper. "Faith, I can't do this anymore. We can't do this..."
"Fine!" Faith slung her leather jacket over her shoulder, retrieving a cigarette from the pocket. "Let's just go outside, get some air or some shit."
"No Faith..." A tear escaped Buffy's eyes, as she fought in earnest to stop the words escaping her mouth. "I mean you and me, I can't do this anymore. We can't have this same conversation over and over... I tell you I love you, and you alone, but it's never good enough. I'm sorry..."
"B?" All eyes seemed to be locked upon the two girls as an eerie stillness enveloped the room, the distant strains of 'Unchained melody' a mere backdrop to the palpable silence. "B, what do you mean?" Faith broke the silence, wide eyes imploring the blonde to answer what she already knew.
"I'm sorry... God, I'm so sorry." Buffy turned and ran, and all Faith could do was stare after her.
"Another round, or were you planning on getting pissed alone?"
Despite the excess of alcohol that currently resided within her, Faith twisted in her seat grabbing the vampire by the neck and raising him several inches from the ground, black fingernails piercing cold porcelain skin. With equal efficiency, she produced a stake from inside her jacket, the pointed edge tracing sharp circles on his chest.
Spike chuckled as Faith dropped him and shoved him violently against the bar, her stake remaining in place. "I should have done this a long time ago."
"But where would that get you, love? I'd be dust, but your heart would still be broken... left in little bloody pieces that never fucking heal, while she goes out and finds herself a brand new toy to string along. I'm right there with you love. I know what it is to be a Buffy cast-off."
Faith released her hold on Spike, signalling to the barman for another drink. "Just fuck off Spike." She glared at him with fury before turning to accept her Jack Daniels.
"I love her. Can't get the bitch out of my head. Follow her around like a lost bloody puppy hoping that she'll look at me, just ONCE, the way I look at her..."
Faith downed her drink before grabbing Spike by his collar and propelling him into a dancing couple. "I told you to get the fuck out of here Spike! I threw that fucking puppy of yours a bone, but my staking hand's getting itchy."
Spike stood, pushing aside the proferred hands of the couple he had almost flattened. "We're one and the same, Faith. Neither of us can ever have her. We can try, offer her the world on a fucking plate, but she'll just shove us aside. We're not good enough, slayer. Never will be."
Faith clenched the newly purchased plastic cup in tight fists, its contents erupting onto the table, staining her sleeves brown. She stared absently as the liquid streamed slowly to the edge of the surface, dripping steadily onto the floor.
"She's all over you... I can smell her. Her scent is everywhere." Faith closed her eyes, exhaling heavily. Cold hands brushed raven hair aside as hard lips met a soft neck. Her head fell backwards, colliding with broad shoulders, and then his mouth was upon hers, warm tongue meeting cold...
"It's over slayer, you know that... for both of us. We were only temporary, we never truly belonged."
Faith gasped as warm tears stained her cheeks, Spike's hands trailing a path between her thighs. "It fucking hurts... make it stop hurting."
Grabbing the brunette's hand, Spike led Faith from the Bronze, her sobs a constant reminder of the hurt they both felt. And the hurt he would soon cause. Grinning broadly, Spike appraised the drunken slayer, arresting her in a passionate kiss, tongues duelling violently. Revenge had never tasted sweeter.
Author's Notes: My lovely little cat is missing. Everyone keep their fingers crossed for her safe return :(
Faith awoke to complete darkness, a persistent thudding in her head arousing her from a state of virtual comatose. She shifted lethargically, running both hands through tangled hair. Groaning, she dragged herself into a seated position, trying to fill in the enormous abyss that was her memory.
A figure stirred beside her, an icy arm entangling her thigh in an unconscious embrace. An arm that was, distinctly, NOT B's. An arm, not B's, wrapped around her, MARKEDLY, unclothed thigh.
'Oh Christ, no!' Faith squeezed her eyes shut against the sudden invasion of images from the previous night... Fuckload of drink... Fight with B... break up with B... more drink... Spike...
Exhaling sharply, Faith leapt from the bed, eliciting a groan from the very male form beside her. Fumbling in the pitch darkness, she retrieved her leather pants, tank top and boots, flinging the clothing onto her naked body haphazardly. She retrieved a lighter from her pocket, gasping with relief when she at last found the exit. She ran from the crypt without looking back.
"Come in."
Dawn swung the door open timidly, eyeing her sister with worry. "You ok Buffy? You ran straight up to your room last night... Is everything alright?..."
Buffy looked to her sister and smiled, bloodshot eyes betraying her emotions. "Yeah Dawnie, I'm fine... I just think that I may have done something really stupid..."
Dawn approached her sister, placing a comforting hand on the blonde's arm. "Do you want to talk about it, because I'm good with the listening."
Buffy shook her head, eyes gleaming with unshed tears. "Thanks Dawn. No, I'm fine... There's just something I need to fix."
Dawn stood, embracing her sister tightly. "Ok, well I'll be downstairs on breakfast duty. Come down whenever you're ready, me and Will are making pancakes from scratch. One of Mom's old recipes."
Dawn closed the door gently behind her as Buffy reached for the phone on her bedside table.
Faith fumbled with the keys to her apartment door, on the verge of kicking it in when at last the door swung open. Flinging her keys to the ground, she clutched her head in her hands ommiting a strangled cry.
Tears spilled down her cheeks as she made her way into the kitchen. She had lost Buffy, and slept with Spike... HER Buffy, her heart and fucking soul!
The flashing red of her answering machine alerted her to a new message, and she wiped her eyes with her sleeve before hitting the play button.
"Hey Faith..." Oh Christ, it was her...
"I guess that you're still asleep or something... God, I hate leaving messages... I just wanted to let you know that... Faith, I love you and I don't want us to break up." Buffy's voice was barely a whisper above her faint sobs. "I...I couldn't sleep last night just thinking about how I left things... You mean everything to me Faith, and if it takes me the rest of my life I'll prove to you just how much I love you, and how I'd rather die than hurt you... Please forgive me baby, I've been an idiot... Just...just come over here as soon as you can, I need to hold you."
Faith fell against the wall, the paneling digging into her back as she slid to the ground.
Buffy flipped idly through a magazine, her gaze continually resting on the phone as she willed it to ring. It had been over an hour since her phonecall to Faith, and still no reply.
She jumped as the kitchen door swung open and a blanketed figure fell against the table.
"Bollocks!" Spike released his hold on the blanket and inspected his singed hand. "That bleeding sun seems to get brighter every bloody day! Morning slayer."
"Spike." Buffy muttered by way of greeting.
"Not happy to see me love? oh, that's right, you and dimples had a bit of a lovers tiff last night."
"What the hell are you doing here Spike?" Buffy glared at the vampire.
"Now what kind of a welcome is that, love? I've just come by to return these." Spike reached into the pocket, tossing his retrieval to the blonde.
Buffy stared at the black underwear, forehead creased with confusion. "What are?... where...?"
"Thought she might be looking for them, and I don't know where she lives, so..."
Buffy, face contorted with rage, lunged at the vampire, flinging him across the room. Spike laughed as he landed on his backside, leering contemptuously at the blonde.
"C'mon Slayer... I've missed your bit of rough. She wasn't up for the fight like you were, just mounted my cock and rode me for hours, screaming my name over and over...."
With a fury she had never before displayed, Buffy grabbed the vampire, slamming him against the wall before hurling him into the hallway. "You fucking lying bastard! I'll fucking kill you, you bastard!!" Buffy straddled the blonde, punch after punch connecting with his face, an ever increasing stream of blood staining the carpet.
"She fucked me good, slayer, came all over my face, begged me to lick her, take her however I wanted..."
"Goddamn you, you fucking bastard!" Buffy dragged Spike from the floor, a cascade of tears distorting her vision. Releasing him from her grip, she turned to gaze absently at Dawn who had just entered the house through the front door.
"Buffy?" Dawn croaked, staring from her sister to the bloodied vampire.
Buffy smiled sadly, before returning her gaze to Spike. "Say goodbye to Spike, Dawnie, he was just leaving."
Dawn's screams echoed throughout the house as Buffy leapt at the vampire, sending both hurtling through the front door and onto the perfectly manicured front lawn. Spike's face vamped as the realisation stuck. Buffy eased backwards unhurriedly, watching with disinterest as her former nemesis, former lover, turned slowly to dust, his parting declaration of love irrelevant to her...
Looking up, Buffy was met by the startled expression of another former nemesis. Another former lover. Without speaking, she turned towards the house, closing the door calmly behind her.
Notes: I HATE how this turned out. Passionately. I started this part a
week or so back, and was all set to finish it when my bastard friends
offered an all expenses paid session. As a result of said piss-up (which
was accepted with a non-hesitant 'Hell yeah, lets get bloody hammered', and
resulted, once again, in a semi-clothed Elaine doing a Kylie at the local
Karaoke bar) my muse decided to spite me and piss off to regions unknown.
In its place it left a fig-leaf clad gorilla who spends its days staring
blankly into space, eating bananas and scratching its balls. Said gorilla
is COMPLETELY responsible for the below! ! !
Notes Part Deux: None of it has been checked. I REALLY couldn't force
myself to have to re-read this! Once again, big fat apologies ! ;)
- Oh! Possible sequel in the offing. Offing? Is that a word or did I just
make it up? Hmmmm? (Gorilla and Elaine scratch head simultaneously.)
"I love you slayer..."
And then he was dust.
Buffy glanced up from the unmoving pile of dust on her lawn, and stared directly at Faith. Her face registered...nothing. Turning, she strode calmly back towards the house, closing the door gently behind her.
Within seconds, the door was swung open forcibly, the heavy steel doorknob colliding audibly with the brick of the house. Dawn sprinted the short distance to Spike's remains, a continuious stream of tears reddening her face. Loose threads of long brown hair clung to her moistened cheeks as she fell to her knees, racking sobs shaking her slight frame. Faith watched her, unspeaking, unmoving.
Dawn feverishly grasped at the ashes, crying out when a light breeze swept through the garden, scattering the remains in all directions. Faith left her and walked towards the open front door.
Buffy sat on the couch, her eyes unwavering as Faith blocked her view of the television, refusing to meet the brunette's pleading gaze.
"B..."
Faith edged towards the blonde, longing to pull her girlfriend into a tight embrace. Hug away the past couple of days. Make it all better with a touch.
"Get the hell away from me." Faith jumped when Buffy spoke, not recognising the emotionless tone with which the words were conveyed.
"B, I..."
"I SAID GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!" Buffy stood, her eyes finally meeting Faith's, a look of pure hatred marring her delicate features. Faith felt as though she had been slapped a hundred times, felt a rush of guilt and pain so profound that she fell to her knees, her head level with Buffy's waist.
"Oh God Buffy... I can't...please B..." She was hyperventilating as she had done as a child, after receiving a particularly painful blow to the gut or being pushed down the stairs. She tried to regulate her breathing as she had long ago learned to do, but her effort was not rewarded. Fresh tears joined their fallen comrades on the edge of her chin, sliding down her neck and disappearing into the confines of her tank top.
Buffy stared down at her, the glare in her eyes softening. Faith continued to sob, her breath regulating as her arms slid around Buffy's waist, her damp cheek resting against the blonde's clothed stomach. Buffy stood stock still, neither pushing Faith away nor meeting her hold.
"Oh B... I'm so very, very sorry. Please believe me B... I never meant to hurt you... please..."
Buffy shuddered, the sensation running from the blonde and through Faith. The motionless arms hanging slackly by Buffy's side were shaking, and Faith leaned back, coiling her fingers through the blonde's.
"I trusted you..." Faith had to strain to hear the words, so softly were they whispered. "I... they told me not to, but I did. You were everything to me..."
"Oh God baby... I... I thought I had lost you. I was so drunk, and I can't make excuses B, but I was hurting so damn much... You and me together; it's always seemed so surreal, like I'll wake up at any moment and find myself alone again, without your arms around me reminding me just how damn lucky I am..." Faith loosened her grip on Buffy's slender hands, running her fingers gently over Buffy's arms. "These arms B... these beautiful arms." She closed her eyes, allowing another stream of tears to escape and cascade the length of her face. "I could find every single freckle on these arms, blindfolded. Every single scar, no matter how slight."
Buffy inhaled shakily, her body remaining slack, emotionless eyes locked upon the sobbing brunette.
"That first time B, when you kissed me... The electricity... Do you remember B? God, I loved you for so damn long. Always. Even before we met, I think... and you were so beautiful and so perfect and Christ, when I saw you leaning towards me, when I first felt these arms wrapping around my waist..." Faith traced her fingers softly over Buffy's slender wrists, her rasping voice betraying her emotions. "It all happened in slow mo. I couldn't breath I was so scared... and then your lips were on mine... we were both so nervous and then, like an idiot, I started crying. I felt like such a fucking fool. I thought you were going to laugh at me and walk away, but you didn't... you just pulled me towards you and hugged me and let me cry and... and told me you loved me too...
Faith's voice broke as a fresh current of tears spilled down her cheeks. Pulling Buffy towards her, she nestled her face against the dampness of Buffy's top, sobbing audibly into the soaked material.
Buffy continued to stare at the brunette, watching with equal amounts of love and derision as the younger slayer's body heaved against the force of her own tears... The line was so very, very thin...
In the distance, she could hear Dawn howling. She seemed so far away. Everything seemed so very far away... Everyone... especially Faith.
"I think you should leave." She stepped backwards forcibly, tearing Faith's arms from around her waist. The brunette lurched forwards, the arm of the couch breaking her fall.
"I can't do this Faith... We can't turn back the clock or pretend this never happened, and no matter how many times you apologise to me, or tell me you love me... It's over Faith. You're a completely different person to me now..."
"No B! Don't say that... please don't ever say that..." Faith stood, moving to embrace the blonde, but Buffy pushed her away, outstretched arm reaching for the door.
"Oh God, don't do this... B, we can work it out. How can I live without you? Without your beautiful face? Without your tender kiss? Without seeing your smile every morning or gazing at you while you sleep? Without your heart... that precious heart that my own beats for..." Faith felt as though her tears would never cease. She felt like falling to the ground and drowning in them. "I love you Buffy... God, I love you so much...just...just tell me you don't love me and I'll leave..."
Buffy swung the door open, her gaze locking upon Faith's. "I don't Faith. How can I love someone that I hate so damn much."
Dawn sat as Faith had left her, her cries having faded to gentle sobs as she stared at the empty spot that Spike's remains had long since vacated.
Faith stood and watched her, soundlessly. The moon appeared, as daylight gave way to dusk, a gentle breeze drying the last of the slayer's tears.
Unseen to either girl, the wind carried the last of Spike's ashes, enveloping the remains in its grasp, and pulling them towards darkness.
And inside, Buffy Summers cried.