Into The Void
by Electra
Rating: R
Faith was released into Angel’s custody four days after the meeting with Warden Drake. Before she left the prison, Drake had invited her and Angel into his office. While there, he placed several protection spells upon her and performed a Zedalyde Ritual, which in effect bound her soul to this plane.
He also gave her a supply of the medication that suppressed her dreams. However, Drake warned her that her body seemed to be building up a tolerance to the medication already, and that it would soon lose its effectiveness on her.
Lastly, Drake promised to watch out for her while she was out of his care. He mentioned that he would contact some friends on a higher plane and try to get any useful information out of them.
With that, Angel led Faith out of the prison and towards the SUV that waited to take them to Sunnydale.
As Cordelia and Wesley waited in the SUV for Angel to return with Faith, they had discussed the fact that neither one of them trusted Faith still. Angel had told them what had been happening to Faith, and asked that they give her a chance. Still, they were under the belief that Faith was faking the whole thing in order to escape from prison.
They mutually concluded to remain on full alert while in her presence.
However, their sense of alert quickly faded when they saw a weak and timid-looking Faith being slowly led to the vehicle by Angel. He had and arm around her waist and in turn, her arm was draped over his shoulders.
Her face was thin and pale. Her once toned and buff body now seemed too thin and frail. It wasn’t the Faith that they had once known, not even as she tried her best to put on a smirk and toss out a playful line.
“So, my fans await.” She timidly joked. “I’ll have to ask that we hold off on autographs ‘til later. Might not wanna give the convicted felon anything sharp to play with, like a pen.” She forced out a hoarse laugh.
Suddenly, Cordelia and Wesley felt full of concern and sympathy for the girl.
“Hello, Faith.” Wes simply replied, a compassionate look on his face.
“Hey Faith.” Cordelia added, her face a mixture of concern and disbelief. “Angel, get in the front with Wes. I’m gonna sit in the back with Faith. You know, do the girlie-bonding thing.”
She got up out of the passenger seat and moved to Angel, who was still supporting Faith. She slid between Angel and Faith and ducked her head under Faith’s arm. After sliding her arm around Faith’s waist, she led her towards the opened back door and away from Angel.
“Um, oh . . . uh, Cordy? Are you sure that you have her?" Angel fretted as Cordelia helped Faith into the back seat. “I can help, or . . . uh, well, just be careful. She’s kind of weak right now.”
Faith looked embarrassed at the concern that was being shown for her. She had never really been taken care of before.
“Uh, Angel . . . I’m right here, y’know? I can hear ya. Besides, I’m not that weak. It’s just the meds that I’m on. Give it a couple days . . . slayer metabolism will get them outta my body, and I’ll be good as gold, baby. Trust me. I’m five-by-five.” Faith stated, a little smile playing across her lips.
Cordelia laughed aloud and rolled her eyes playfully.
“God, Faith, ‘five by five’? Are you still using that phrase? And if so, are you ever gonna let us know what it means?” Cordelia teased the other girl as she helped buckle her in.
Faith looked down at Cordelia’s hands as they brushed across her abdomen while trying to buckle the seatbelt. Her trademark smirk crept up on her face.
“Hmm . . . well, if you keep up the T.L.C. that you’re givin’ me right now, I’ll let you in on all of my secrets, Queen C.” Faith replied, waggling her eyebrows.
Cordelia laughed. “And there, gentlemen, is the Faith that we all know and adore.”
The four laughed as they finished settling into the vehicle. After checking that they were ready, they began their journey to Sunnydale.
As they drove away, Faith looked back at the prison that had been her home for more than a year. A sense of loss came over her as she realized that she might never be able to fully finish her quest for redemption.
However, the sense of loss quickly faded as thoughts of Buffy and Sunnydale flooded her mind. If she played her cards right, she might be able to earn Buffy and the Scoobies’ trust and forgiveness once again.
That is, if she lived long enough to do so.
The ride to Sunnydale seemed to take a lifetime, at least for Faith. She was exhausted, and her body and mind were in desperate need of sleep. She had the medication to suppress her dreams, but she was still too scared to even take a little nap.
Cordelia could sense that Faith was trying to stay awake, so she tried to make small talk to entertain the girl. Wes and Angel remained quiet in the front seat, listening to the conversation but not partaking in it.
“So . . . Faith. Are you nervous about going back to Sunnydale? I mean . . . ‘cause I know that I’VE been avoiding it. Like the plague.” Cordelia nodded very matter-of-factly.
“Normally, I would be CRAZY nervous about going back to SunnyD. Bad memories, y’know? I guess I should feel pretty hesitant, especially with the whole ‘I-tortured-and-or-maimed-several-of-its-inhabitants Thing.’ I caused some major trouble there, even outside of my clashes with the Scoobs. But oddly enough? I’ve got too many other things on my mind right now to sweat the small stuff. Y’know what I mean? I’ve got other things to be nervous about.”
“Yeah, I get it. So, tell me what’s on your mind. In your own words: what’s making you nervous?” Cordelia asked. She thought that if Faith would talk about her problems, it might make them a little easier to deal with.
“Oooookay. First? I’m wicked-scared that this dark magic shit is gonna make me go all ‘Evil-Faith’ again. Warden Drake said that maybe it was the darkness that made me all psycho-slayer before, and I was hella-strong back then! Imagine what it could do to me right now, being all weak and tired and shit.”
Cordelia nodded. “Right. I can see why that would make you nervous. Why else?”
“Secondly? If the darkness doesn’t consume me, it’s gonna kill me. That is, if you guys don’t figure out how to stop it. And that leads me to reason number Three.”
“And that is . . . ?”
“I HATE the fact that you guys have to put up with this shit. Me? I don’t mind dying for a good cause, or as a part of my redemption, or even to lift the burden off of any one of your lives. I’ve come to terms with that, and I accept it. But everyone is already in too deep. If I die now, you guys are gonna feel like you failed me, and that’s not true in the least bit. Just having you guys help me now, after what I’ve done . . . means so much to me. You all have gone above and beyond already. I don’t want any of you to feel bad if things don’t work out as planned. So, yeah. That’s a big factor.”
Cordelia smiled at the timid girl next to her and gave her a small slap on the arm.
“Now Faith, you should know that NOBODY makes Cordelia Chase do something that she doesn’t want to do. I may have been . . . reluctant . . . at first. I mean, after all, you did break into my apartment, elbow me in the face, and cause me temporary disfigurement. BUT . . . that’s all in the past. I’m here right now because I want to help. If that dark magic or darkness or WHATEVER was controlling you before, then you, yourself, are not guilty of the things that you did. You were merely a cute little leather-clad puppet, and you can’t be held responsible.”
“Thanks Cor.” Faith said with a smile on her face. She felt genuinely happy that Cordelia had said that to her, mainly because she knew that Cordelia always ‘tells it like it is,’ and that she wasn’t lying about wanting to help.
Cordelia, however, decided to sneak in a little bit more to her diatribe.
“Besides, I know that you’ve gotta be telling the truth.”
Faith knitted her eyebrows together. “Oh yeah? How’s that, C?”
“Because not even ‘evil-skanky Faith’ would let herself get into the condition that you’re in now, just to get out of prison. Say it with me now, honey: Sunlight is goooooood. Anorexic-supermodel body type is baaaaaaad. You need some UV rays and some McDonalds, stat!”
Even Angel and Wes were laughing in the front seat now.
“Gee, thanks Cor. Way to make the sick girl feel better about herself. I think you’ve been hanging out with Angel too much.” Faith stated, recalling the teasing that Angel put her through in the infirmary.
A glimpse of her old-self ran through Faith as she decided to press on a bit further.
“Still. Ya gotta admit one thing, Queen C,” Faith stated as she ran her hands along her sides and licked her lips, “Even pale and bony? I’m still a fuckin fox.” Faith smirked playfully and winked at Cordelia, who was wearing a huge smile in return.
“Okay, I’ll admit it. You’re still a hottie. Like I said, all you need is a couple of rays and some take-out, and you’ll be bangin’ in no time at all, and I’m always right about stuff like this. It’s just too bad for you that my door doesn’t swing that way.”
“Don’t worry, Cor. Even though my door may swing both ways, it’s not currently open for business, if ya get my ever-so-subtle drift. I’m keepin’ it strictly vanilla. Still, let’s not forget that I’m not dead yet, and that as long as there is an opportunity for a crude joke or an off-the wall innuendo, I’ll be there to dish it out.”
Cordelia laughed, as did Angel and Wes.
From the front seat, Angel muttered under his breath, “You can take the girl out of the wild . . .”
Faith promptly finished the sentence for him, “ . . . but you can’t take the wild outta the girl. Damn straight And don’t you forget it, either!”
After the laughing stopped and silence once again fell over the vehicle, Cordelia decided to press Faith even further.
“So, now back to the topic of your door swinging both ways, and being closed for business and whatnot. I have to ask . . . I always thought that you were a straight-shooter, Faith. What’s the what? Are you?”
“Nope.”
“Then . . . back to the door analogy, and ‘swinging both ways’ and everything. Should I assume that you’re bi-sexual then?”
“Hmm. Nope, I don’t think I am.”
Cordelia sighed, frustrated at Faith’s vague answer.
“So? Come on! Are you gay? That would explain the leather fetish . . . and you taking Buffy to Homecoming . . . and the innuendos at me and any other girl . . . and . . . come on, save me here, Faith!”
“What the shit? No, I’m not gay, either. What’s with all the questions???” Faith answered quickly. She didn’t like the direction this conversation was headed. She glanced to the front seat to silently plea with Angel for help, but he was doing his best to pretend like he wasn’t listening.
Cordelia continued.
“If you’re not straight, not bi, and not gay, what the hell are you? And I’m trying to make a point here, so just go with me here for a minute.”
Faith exhaled sharply, and then remained quiet for a moment or two. She decided to play along with Cordelia’s little ‘game’.
“Y’know what? I really don’t know what to consider myself. I would normally say straight, but . . . y’know . . . all female prison . . . long incarceration. But as of late, I’m not interested in the kinks and games that I used to be. Guess I don’t see the point in it anymore. I’m definitely not gay, ‘cuz I think both men and women are beautiful, y’know? I’d be happy with either, as long as he or she was meant for me. Then again, I wouldn’t consider myself bi, either.”
Cordelia stifled a laugh. “Umm, Faith, I hate to burst your bubble, but if you like guys and girls, and would be happy to end up with either? . . . you’re bi, honey.”
Faith thought about it. “I have to disagree with you there, C. Being bi means that you’re attracted to both men and women. But like I said, I’m not into the kinks and games anymore.” Faith paused, trying to form her thoughts into words. She hadn’t realized that she started speaking aloud again. “I found someone who makes me disregard the rest of the world in that way. When I’m around her . . . I don’t find anyone else compelling or attractive, because all I see is her. So, like I said, I guess I’m not bi either. I’m . . .”
Cordelia interrupted with a smile on her face, “ . . . in love with Buffy.” She said it gently, but almost as if she had ‘won.’
Faith was quickly snapped out of her thoughts when she hear Cordelia’s words. She put her hands up over her mouth in an effort to stop any other treacherous words from escaping, but it was too late. The damage was done. Now everyone in the vehicle knew her deepest secret.
She was still wearing a shocked expression on her face when she removed her hands from her mouth in defeat. She gave Cordelia a pleading look, almost as if to say, ‘Don’t make fun of me, pleeeeeease!’
Cordelia caught on.
“Oh. Don’t worry Faith. I already knew it. Angel knew it. Hell, even Wes knew it, and you know that he’s normally Mr. Clueless-Guy. I just wanted you to realize it, and to get it out in the open. We’re not judging you, honey. In fact, I think it’s kinda cute.” Cordelia stated.
Faith’s state varied between confusion, fright, disbelief, shock, and anxiety.
“How? What? How? And . . . cute?”
“Oh, please, tough-stuff. I can tell that you love her just in the way that you respond when someone mentions her name. Plus, I was there in Sunnydale before you went all ‘grrr’ and ‘argh.’ I’m not blind. Plus, vision-girl here, remember? You loved her even then. And the whole ‘cute’ issue? It’s like when a little boy likes a little girl . . . he runs up to her and punches her, then runs away. Kinda like you and Buffy. Only . . . less with the bruises and cuts, and the whole stabbing thing . . .”
Cordelia drifted off in thought. She was brought back to attention by Faith, who began feverishly speaking, addressing everyone in the vehicle.
“Listen, even if you guys know now, you can’t tell Buffy. EVER. She doesn’t need to deal with that, on top of everything else that’s going on with me. I can hope to maybe earn her trust some day, and maybe if I get really fuckin lucky, her forgiveness. But I know she’ll never love me back, at least not in the sweaty and panty way that I would like. If this gets out in the open, it’ll ruin any chance that I have at a quasi-friendship with her. So please, just let it be.”
Cordelia smiled a little, as did Angel and Wes.
From the front seat, Angel could be heard singing, “Faith and Buffy sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G . . .”
Faith exhaled sharply and closed her eyes. She muttered under her breath. “OOOOH, you just wait, Soul-boy. I get my slayer-strength back and you and I are gonna have us a little rumble. Hope you’re ready for an old-school ass-whoopin.”
Angel stopped singing and chuckled at Faith’s threat. Cordelia laughed as well, and finally spoke to break the two up.
“Don’t mess yourself, Faithy. We’re not gonna say anything to the Buffster. You just needed to realize it for yourself. I think I got my point across. And seeing that we were talking about your fears of returning to Sunnydale, that one needed to be put on the table with the others.”
Faith understood what Cordelia was getting at.
“Right. Fear number Four: That Buffy will find out that I love her, and it’ll ruin everything.”
Cordelia smiled a genuine smile. “Congratulations, kiddo. You pass.”
Finally, Wesley spoke up.
“Well, I do hope that you’re ready to confront you fears and face your demons” he stated as he pointed to something out the front of the windshield.
A small tremble went through Faith as she watched the moonlight spill over the road in front of them, illuminating the ‘Welcome to Sunnydale!’ sign in a perfect splendor.
After about a 10-minute ride, the SUV finally pulled onto Revello Drive. Faith had noticeably tensed up, her nerves taking over her.
Cordelia glanced over at her and gave her a warm smile. Without hesitation, she grabbed Faith’s hand in her own and gave her a little nod, as if to say ‘don’t worry, everything’s going to be okay.’
Faith closed her eyes as they pulled into the driveway. She kept them closed as she heard the car engine turn off, and as she heard Wes, Angel, and Cordelia step out and close their doors.
‘Maybe if I don’t open my eyes, I’ll find that none of this is really happening. I’m not really at Buffy’s house, about to walk in and beg for help. I’m not sick, and I’m still sitting in prison having a wicked weird dream. Hell, maybe I’m even back in Boston, Slayer-free, laying in bed and waiting for my alarm clock to ring before I go to school. Maybe this was all a dream.’
However, Faith was broken from her thoughts as she heard her car-door open. She kept her eyes closed tightly; still hoping that maybe it was all a dream. Her body suddenly shook as a familiar tingle ran through her. When she felt a gentle hand on her arm, she slowly opened up her eyes and looked up to face a concerned-looking Buffy.
Shock. Pure shock is what she was feeling. Shocked that she wasn’t getting pummeled. Shocked that Buffy wasn’t yelling at her. Shocked that Buffy didn’t look angry. At all.
“Hey, B. Wasn’t expecting to see you standin’ there. How goes it?” Faith tried her best to put on a smile, but her anxiety was too high, and a shaky grin was all that she could muster.
Buffy shook her head as if trying to snap out of her thoughts, and responded.
“Eh. Another day, another apocalypse. How about you?” She asked as she helped Faith out of the car.
“Y’know me, B. Five by five, all things considered.”
Faith tried to hop out of the car like she would have back in the day, almost forgetting her current state. When her feet hit the pavement, her legs buckled and she began to stumble.
Buffy immediately tightened her grip on the shaky girl, sliding her spare arm around Faith’s lower back and guiding the other girl's closest arm over her shoulders.
Faith, taken aback by Buffy’s action, looked at Buffy with a semi-shocked and confused look upon her face. “Umm . . . thanks, B. Guess I’m not quite up to the hoppin’ and the walkin’ yet.” Her cheeks turned a little pink as a hint of embarrassment crept over her.
“It’s no problem Faith, I’ve gotcha.”
Angel, Cordelia, and Wes looked on with a little bit of shock. Angel had never expected Buffy to be as concerned or as receptive as she was being right now.
You see, Angel had been giving Buffy daily updates of Faith’s state since the first day she was sent to the infirmary. She seemed a little skeptical at first, seeing as that Faith had seemed fine when she came to visit. Still, she showed her concern by asking questions and demanding updates on any changes in Faith’s condition.
Shortly after Angel had met with Warden Drake and Faith in the prison, he contacted Buffy right away to make arrangements. He explained everything that Drake had told them, and made it clear to Buffy that Faith needed her help.
He was surprised that Buffy didn’t put up a fight, and he questioned her on it.
‘I don’t know why, Angel. If what you said is true; if Faith wasn’t in control during her bad-girl times, then I guess I really can’t hold anything against her, can I? I mean, I’m gonna have to talk some things out with her, and we’ll have to see what our research uncovers. Still. Until then, I’m gonna give her a chance. I don’t wanna fight with her anymore, not if I don’t have to.’
‘Well, that’s really reasonable and mature of you, Buffy but how are the Scoobs gonna feel? They don’t share the connection with Faith like you do. They don’t really have a reason to WANT to forgive her.’
‘I know. But they’re a pretty understanding bunch. If they know that Faith wasn’t behind the wheel during that whole car-wreck, they’re not gonna be all blame-y. They’ll ease up, eventually. Don’t worry, I’ll fill them in on the what, and I’ll MAKE them deal if I have to.’
So, back to now . . .
Buffy began to walk her sister-slayer towards the front porch when she subconsciously began to feel along Faith’s side and back with the arm that was supporting her there.
“Geez, Faith. I can feel your ribs! How much weight have you lost? I couldn’t tell that you were this skinny when I came to see you . . . guess the jumpsuit covered it all up.”
Faith shrugged.
“I don’t really know. They didn’t exactly serve up portions that fulfilled my ‘Daily Slayer Nutritional Requirements,’ if ya know what I mean. Between that and the whole ‘lack of sleep’ thing, I guess I kinda slimmed down a bit.”
Buffy looked at her incredulously, eyebrows raised.
“A bit? Looking at you makes me think of one of those way-too-skinny waif supermodels of the 90’s. Oooooh! I’ve got it now . . . a vampire supermodel. Say it with me girl: sunlight is our friend. Helps fight the pastiness. You need some sun and some take-out.”
Cordelia laughed aloud in the background, overhearing what Buffy was saying.
“See, Faith? I’m always right. Don’t you forget that!” Cordelia taunted playfully.
Faith turned her head around to look at Cordelia. She shot her a huge grin while popping her middle finger up in response, then mouthing the words ‘Fuck You, C.’
Cordelia laughed again, then said sarcastically, “Fuck me? I don’t think so, Faith. I already told you: my door doesn’t swing that way. Besides, aren’t you holding out for someone else???”
Faith’s jaw dropped in disbelief and her eyes just about bugged out of her head. She gave Cordelia a menacing look and a shake of her fist before turning back in Buffy’s arms.
“What’s that all about? Care to share?” Buffy inquired, her interest piqued.
“It’s nothing.” Faith answered a little too quickly. “Cordy’s talking out of her ass again. Best to disregard and ignore anything she says.”
Buffy smiled slightly in response. “Ooooookay.”
Buffy pushed the front door open and led Faith into the house.
“Some things never change.” Faith stated as she looked around the house, noticing that it looked exactly the same as the last time she was there.
“Yeah. I kind of like it that way though. Always something familiar to come home to. Makes me feel kind of safe, you know?”
Faith nodded, even though she really didn’t know the feeling that Buffy was talking about. When she was younger, her own home was never a safe haven, and since she was called as a Slayer, she had never had a permanent place to call home. Always some shitty motel that lasted only until she would skip out of town and make her way to the next shitty motel.
Jail had been her only safe-haven, and that in itself was pretty shitty.
Faith snapped herself out of her thoughts and continued to look around. She saw a couple of people standing in the kitchen. Some of the faces were familiar, and some were new. One face, however, seemed to be missing from the bunch.
“Hey . . . where’s Mrs. S? She doesn’t have to be afraid to be around me, y’know? I’m pretty harmless right now.”
Faith watched as Buffy hung her head and drew in a deep breath. When she lifted her head back up, her eyes were filled with tears. She exhaled sharply and took in a couple of deep breaths before she spoke.
“Umm . . . my mom . . . I . . . there was . . . s-she’s dead. She died. A couple of weeks ago. Right after I-I came to s-see you.”
Faith’s eyes got large once again, and she shook her head in disbelief.
“Oh God, B . . . I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Shit . . . I’m sorry I brought it up . . . geez, I’m such an asshole.” Faith stammered.
“No, Faith, it’s not your fault, you didn’t know.” Buffy sniffled, then continued, looking up to meet Faith’s gaze. “You know what? She was really happy that I went to see you. Said that ‘it would be good for my soul’ to get some closure with you. Guess she held on long enough to see it happen.”
The tears that Buffy had in her eyes were now freely falling down her face. She used the back of her hand to wipe them away.
With the arm that was draped over Buffy’s shoulders, Faith gave a gentle squeeze to the smaller girl. She wasn’t exactly sure if Buffy wanted to be comforted by her, but it was the only gesture she knew of that wasn’t over the top.
She closed her eyes and waited for the backlash from Buffy. However, she was surprised to find that Buffy didn’t resist. In fact, she had actually nestled herself into Faith’s embrace just for a moment, until she heard a cough from behind her.
“Am I interrupting something?” Angel asked with a sly grin on his face.
Buffy quickly sat Faith down on the couch and stood up, straightening out her clothes.
“Nope. Faith was just trying to be consoling. I . . . I told her about m-my mother.” Buffy stated, looking very emotional once again.
Angel put Faith’s bags on the floor near the stairs and walked over to Buffy, pulling her into a tight embrace. She closed her eyes and relaxed against him as he stroked her hair and placed a chaste kiss on top of her head.
Faith watched from the couch, and a hint of jealousy swept over her. ‘Damn, that’s what I shoulda done. Just scoop her up and hold her. Of course, I probably woulda collapsed under our combined weight. Okay, so maybe my smaller gesture wasn’t as bad an idea as I thought. Keep it simple, right? Besides . . . Angel has first dibs.’
Cordelia and Wes walked in at that moment, and Cordelia made a gagging sound as she saw Buffy and Angel in their embrace.
“Ugh! Haven’t you two learned your lesson yet? Hugs lead to kisses. Kisses lead to groping. Groping leads to groiny-ness. Then, we have us a real problem: one sick slayer, one heart-sick slayer, and one soulless vamp with a taste for death and a fetish for torture. I don’t know about you guys, but I think we need to stop this before a whole vicious cycle starts up.”
She pointed at Angel, who just glared at her. “You! Couch! Now!” The she pointed at Buffy. “You! Anywhere but the couch!”
Buffy and Angel dejectedly separated. Angel walked to the couch and sat down, mumbling under his un-needed breath as he did so, “ . . . don’t know who made you the boss of me . . . I’m over two centuries old . . . always treat me like a little kid . . . you’re not the boss of me.”
Buffy also walked towards the couch, but sat on the arm rest next to Faith rather than in the empty space next to Angel. She crossed her arms across her chest and put on her pout-y face. She glanced up at Cordelia through her eyelashes and noticed that she was getting an annoyed look from the other girl.
“What?” Buffy asked, sounding both innocent and annoyed at the same time. “It’s my house! Besides, I’m not sitting next to him. Oh! . . . and I have no intentions of getting ‘groin-y’ with him, so just chill out, Cordy.” Then under her breath, she added, “You’re not the boss of me” in a little, girly tone.
Faith couldn’t help but laugh at the exchange. ‘Cordy’s back in town for 10 minutes and she’s already taking charge. Damn, I like this girl!’
Slowly but surely, the Scoobies began to enter the room from the kitchen. They were apprehensive at first, but Faith’s appearance and demeanor slowly melted away their fears. They finally let their guard down, at least temporarily.
Dawn smiled as soon as she saw Faith. She ran over and knelt in front of her, wrapping her arms around Faith’s legs and giving them a tight hug.
“Faith! It’s been soooooo long. My god, how much weight did you lose? Oh! You’ll be able to share clothes with me now!” Dawn giggled.
“Hey, ‘Crack-of-Dawn,’ it’s good to see you too, kiddo. I just might take you up on that clothes offer, as long as you’ve got some leathers to share.” Faith responded while mussing up Dawn’s hair.
From across the room, Xander and Willow watched in awe. Not only had they never seen Faith act ‘lovingly’ like she was now, but they had also never seen her in a physical state like her current one.
“Oh my goddess.” Willow exclaimed, quiet enough so that only Xander heard her.
“I’ll see your ‘oh my goddess,’ and raise you a ‘holy shit’.” Xander replied, just as quiet.
Anya, on the other hand, was extremely intrigued by the dark slayer in front of her. Instead of standing back and acting shocked, she walked right up to Faith and grabbed her hand, shaking it firmly.
“Hello. I’m Anya. I don’t believe we were ever properly introduced. Xander is mine, so please refrain from seducing him or having sexual relations with him.” She paused and studied Faith for a moment, then continued. “Though . . . from looking at you now, I understand why he would want to have sex with you. You’re strangely sexy and exotic, even though you are a little pasty. Oh, and those lips! Rrrrrrrooow.”
Anya made a little growling noise and winked at Faith, who gave her a questioning smile in return, making sure to run her tongue over her bottom lip as she did so.
Anya continued, “Anyways, I hope that your recovery is quick and easy. Maybe when you’re back to your dark and sexy self, you, Xander, and I can enjoy a session or two of consensual pleasure. I’m very limber.”
An air of discomfort swept across the room. Xander cringed from across the room, Giles let out one of his patented “Dear Lord’s,” and Cordelia laughed as if it was the funniest thing she had heard in a long time.
Faith looked a little puzzled at first, but she burst out laughing after a moment or two passed.
“You, I like." Faith said as she glanced at Anya. Then she looked across the room at Xander and finally caught his eyes. “Hey Xan-man, you’ve got yourself a live one here. She keep you on the edge of your seat?”
“You have no idea” he answered with a friendly a pleading smile.
Next to Xander, she noticed Willow fidgeting while talking to a blonde girl standing next to her.
“Hey, Red. You’re lookin’ good.”
“Thanks.” Willow replied with a nervous smile. She didn’t take complements too well.
“Last time we ran into each other, you were makin’ big with the magic mumbo-jumbo. So, you plannin’ on turnin’ me into a frog or snail anytime soon?” Faith asked, trying to be playful but not wanting to overstep her boundaries.
“Nope. You’ll be happy to know that I have no current plans to turn you into a frog or anything. Besides, I’m sure your animal spirit is a wolf or a fox or something cool like that, ‘cuz I mean . . . come on . . . it’s you. Not that a frog isn’t cool to some people. But, with the warts and the slime, and the croaking and hopping, just . . . yuck . . . and . . . I’m babbling again, aren’t I?”
Faith just took in a breath and chuckled a little.
“Yep, you kinda are. But y’know what? I missed that, Red. Feel free to keep going if ya want to.”
Willow shook her head. “Hmm . . . nope. I’m done now. Besides, I’ve gotta save all the strength I have for tomorrow. Looks like you and I are going to do a little ‘magical mind-walk.’ See if we can find out what’s going on in your head.”
Almost immediately, Faith’s smile faded as she looked down nervously at her lap. She couldn’t believe that not only were the Scoobies being nice to her, but they were going to help her as well.
Everyone in the room noticed as Faith dropped her head, and they all went silent as they waited for someone to say something. Angel sat on the couch with Faith and Buffy, Dawn on the floor in front of them. Cordelia sat on the stairs, while Wes and Giles hovered nearby the front door. Tara, Willow, Xander, and Anya sat on the chairs across from the couch. They looked at each other awkwardly as Faith collected her thoughts.
She wanted to thank them, but wasn’t sure how. She decided to just jump right in.
“Umm, listen guys, I wanna thank you all for bein’ so nice to me. I know I don’t deserve your friendship, especially with all the shit that went down in the past. Whether I was someone’s evil puppet or not, it really doesn’t matter, ‘cuz I was pretty shitty even before that. I was selfish, and afraid of being alone, so I took advantage of my so-called friendships at every opportunity. Fucked up, right?”
“Faith, you don’t have to . . .” Buffy interjected, not wanting Faith to have to go through this in her current state. She placed her hand on Faith’s shoulder, but Faith cut right back in.
“ . . . No Buffy, I do. Please, just let me finish before I chicken out.”
Buffy nodded. Oddly, she didn’t remove her hand from Faith’s shoulder.
“Okay . . . so, where was I again? Did I get to the part about me being a shit-head yet?”
The gang smiled at her question. Anya decided to answer.
“You said you were shitty and selfish, but you didn’t get to the shit-head part yet. Please continue.” Anya nodded and smiled.
“Yeah . . . thanks, Ahn. Okay, so continuing on . . . I was a shit-head,” she looked to Anya who nodded at her, and then continued, “and I want to make it up to all of you. But, I have to fight the good fight first. If I get through this? I’m not gonna go taking off like I normally would. I’m gonna deal with the things that I shoulda dealt with a long time ago. And if I start slackin’, I fully expect each and every one of you to kick my ass back into gear.”
“Will do.” Buffy and Dawn replied at the same time, a little too much optimism in both of their voices.
Faith laughed, as did a few other people in the room.
“So, good. The plans is then: We find out what’s going on with me, we try to stop it, we win, and then I stick around to deal. That is, if you guys don’t give me the boot first.”
Xander responded with a smile. “Nahh. I think we can learn to put up with ya. Especially if you share some more of your stories. There are more stories, aren’t there?” He asked anxiously.
“Sure, Xan-man. I’ve got a lot more to add to the collection now. Prison-variety.” She winked.
Xander just stared at her with a fascinated, goofy look upon his face. “With the girl-on-girl action, and the chains and the hand-cuffs and other prison-y goodness?”
Faith laughed again. “Kinks or vanilla, your choice.”
A small pout appeared on Anya’s face, and she interrupted.
“Hey. Xander, I think that you’re getting too involved in the sex and girl-on-girl talk, and you’re not including me. Now, I have to top her, just to keep your interest! I can be creative. I can be exotic. I can hand-cuff you to the bed and give you orgasms. In fact, I’m gonna do that right now. Come on!” She stood up, grabbed his hand, and led him to the front door.
As he was being pulled along, Xander blurted out, “Uhh . . . I’ll talk to you guys soon! If you don’t hear from me by tomorrow afternoon, come looking for me, and bring a locksmith!”
A couple of stray laughs came from the house as the door slammed shut behind the two fleeing Scoobs.
‘God, it feels good to be back.’
As the group settled down from the small disruption, Buffy saw her chance to finally get a handle on things. She stood up from the arm of the couch, thus removing her hand from Faith’s shoulder, and walked to the center of the room.
She looked each and every person in the eye to make sure she had their attention before speaking. After assuring herself that all eyes were on her, she finally spoke.
“Okay then. So we have a tentative plan. Just like Faith said: We find out what’s going on with Faith, we fight, we win, we deal. It’s as easy as that.”
Giles, who had been silent through this point, decided to interrupt.
“I assume by your little ‘we’ speech that you intend this to be a group endeavor. Have you decided who shall do what, and when?”
“Well,” Buffy paused, “I hadn’t exactly thought it out too much. I know that Willow’s gonna do the mind-walk with Faith tomorrow, and that Tara’s gonna be her anchor. They need to save up their energy, so that’s all that I’m assigning them for now.” She directed her attention to the two witches sitting across the room. “You guys can head up to bed if you want. I’ll talk with you in the morning to get things set up.”
Both Willow and Tara nodded and stood up, hand-in-hand. They whispered a quick ‘goodnight’ to Faith and the rest of the gang before heading up the stairs.
Buffy spoke again.
“As for the rest of you, I know you’re not gonna like it, but you’re all part of the research crew. Hit the books, hit the streets, hit up any contacts that might have information. We don’t have to start tonight, because we don’t even have a starting point to go from yet. I suggest you guys get some rest, ‘cuz once we find out where to start, we’re not stopping until we finish this. Thoughts?”
Buffy looked around the room, almost daring someone to go against her.
“Umm, Buffy?” Dawn said quietly. “Where is everyone gonna sleep? I don’t think we have enough beds. Or blankets, for that matter.”
Suddenly, Buffy looked a little defeated. She hadn’t even thought about sleeping arrangements, and here she had a house full of guests.
Angel sensed her discomfort, and immediately spoke up. “Don’t worry about Cordy, Wes, and I. We’ll stay at the mansion. I’ve had it kept up over the years. I’ll patrol tonight, so you can focus your attention on what’s going on here.”
The three stood to leave, and Buffy put a hand on Angel’s arm to stop him.
“Listen, Angel. I know you’re not gonna like it, but I think you should stop at Spike’s and get him to help with tonight’s patrol.”
“You can’t be serious.” Angel replied, sounding a bit annoyed.
“Yeah, I am. I know he can be a pain in the ass, but he’s a good fighter. You’ll get the patrol done quicker, and then maybe you can check into some of your old contacts and see if any of them know what’s going on with Faith.”
Angel grumbled under his breath, but finally gave in. “Fine. We’ll be back before first light. Let me know if anything happens between now and then.”
“Will do.” She replied with a gentle smile.
Before walking out the door, Angel walked back to the couch and bent down in front of Faith.
“You okay?” He asked, his voice full of sincerity.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry ‘bout me. I think you’re leaving me in some pretty capable hands. I’ll deal.”
He leaned in and gave her a kiss on the forehead before standing up and leaving with Cordy and Wes.
As they walked outside, Cordelia could be heard whining, “I can’t believe you’re making me sleep in that crusty old mansion! Come on, you’re a vampire, for Christ’s sake. Let’s go to a hotel and scare them into giving us a room.” After hearing nothing in return from Angel, she continued, “Ugh, fine. But if I wake up with any kind of bites or rash, I am SO quitting.”
Back inside, Buffy was trying to tie things up so they could all call it a night.
“Okay, so Giles, you can sleep on the couch. I hope you don’t mind, but the bed space is kind of limited.”
“No, I don’t mind, Buffy. I’ll probably be up most of the night anyway, reading through some prophecies and journals. I have far too much to look into to be able to sleep at this point.” He turned his vision to Faith. “We’re not going to fail you this time.” He said before walking out of the room and into the kitchen.
Faith smiled. She still couldn’t believe how things were turning out. ‘I swear, if I didn’t think I’d stumble over, I’d be doin’ a little happy-dance right about now.’
Without a word, Dawn got up off of the floor and headed up the stairs, calling down from the top of the stairs, “There’s no way you’re giving away my room!” before closing her bedroom door behind her.
Suddenly, the realization hit Faith that she was now alone in the room with Buffy. She visibly tensed up a bit, keeping her head lowered and fidgeting a bit.
“Faith . . . are you okay?” Buffy asked, sounding concerned.
“Yeah, B. I’m fine. Just a little tired, I guess.”
“Well, come on then. We’ll go up to bed.” Buffy answered very nonchalantly.
Faith looked up at her with a puzzled look on her face. ‘You gotta be shittin’ me. Is Buffy actually plannin’ on letting me stay in her bedroom? Right . . . she’ll probably tuck me in and then go crash with Dawnie.’ Faith stood up and tried to walk to the stairs, but she was having a hard time. Still, she was determined to prove that she wasn’t totally incapable.
After a moment or two, she finally reached the bottom of the stairs. She looked up to the top of the stairs, which were starting to resemble Mt. Everest to her, and let out a defeated sigh. Letting her last wall down, she looked over to Buffy, who was watching her with an amused look on her face, and uttered the words that she had never said before.
“Buffy . . . will you help me?”
Smiling, Buffy walked over to her and slid underneath Faith’s arm while wrapping her free arm around Faith’s waist. As they slowly began ascending the stairs, Buffy finally answered.
“I thought you’d never ask.”
After a short trip to the bathroom so that Faith could wash up and get ready for bed, the two slayers found their way to Buffy’s bedroom. Faith sat down on the chair in front of the make-up mirror while Buffy ran back downstairs to grab her bags.
Faith was definitely feeling awkward. She was tired, and could probably use a good night’s rest. However, she was afraid to sleep. Afraid that another dream could really hurt her, if not kill her. To add to that, now she was presumably kicking Buffy out of her own bed.
She made up her mind. When Buffy came back in the room, she was going to tell her that she didn’t have to sleep on the floor or in Dawnie’s room. She could have her own bed, seeing as that Faith was going to go sit on the back porch and watch the stars ‘til the sun comes up.
‘Good plan, Faithy. Now you just have to convince her to go along with it. Good luck!’
Buffy chose that moment to walk into the room, Faith's bags in tow.
“Hey.” Buffy said, then looked at Faith questioningly. “How come you aren’t in bed? Did you need my help?”
“Ummm . . . y’know what, B? I’m kinda riled up a bit. I’m thinkin ‘bout spending some quality time with your back porch . . . y’know, get some air, watch the stars. Besides, this way you don’t have to crash with Dawnie or take the floor.”
Buffy gave her a bewildered look, then shook her head and smiled a bit.
“Yeahhhh . . . you didn’t really think I was gonna go for that, did you?”
“Nope. Nope, I didn’t.” Faith answered a little too quickly. “Listen, truth be told? I’ve kinda got the willies about going to sleep. Never know what’s gonna happen. If you don’t mind, I’d rather stay awake, at least while I can.”
Buffy pondered Faith’s request for a moment. She knew that Faith was exhausted. She looked like she was ready to crash any moment. She didn’t want to let her out of her sight, so that ruled out any possible of getting any sleep herself. She decided to play along, at least for now.
“Okay, Faith. I can’t make you sleep, so you can stay awake if you want. But, for your information, that means I can’t sleep either. I’m here to watch over you, and I can’t do that if you’re off running around while I’m catching a few Z’s. Of course . . . I don’t see you doing much running or jumping in the near future . . .” she trailed off.
“You’re not gonna make me feel guilty, are ya? ‘Cuz I think you are.” Faith said with a little whine.
Buffy put on her best innocent face. “Nope, I wouldn’t do that to you, being all fragile-like and repent-y. Forget about it. Hey, I don’t need sleep. I’m sure that being well-rested would just make tomorrow too easy to deal with, and we all know how I love a challenge . . .”
“. . . Blah, blah, blah. Geez, you’re almost as bad as Angel, trying to guilt me into doing things with the whole ‘innocent’ routine. Fine, you win, Summers. I’ll stay up here, but I’m NOT sleeping.” She yawned, but tried to cover it up.
Buffy, knowing that she won, put on a big grin. She walked over to her bed and started pulling down the covers, her lips still curling up into a grin.
Faith just watched on and chuckled to herself. Noticing that Buffy seemed intent on sleeping in the bed, she stood up and grabbed the sleeping bag that Angel had packed with her stuff. She slowly walked to the foot of Buffy’s bed and began to lay the bag on the floor so that she would at least be comfortable on the floor for the night.
“Uh, Faith? What are you doing?” Buffy interrupted, noticing what the other girl was doing.
“Oh . . . well, I was just putting this down so my back isn’t sore in the morning.” Faith indicated the sleeping bag in her hand and continued trying to get it even on the floor.
Buffy calmly walked over, grabbed the sleeping bag, and threw it by Faith’s bags.
“Listen, we’re both adults here and I have a Queen-size bed. We’ll draw an imaginary line down the middle and keep to our respective sides. Can you handle that, Faith?”
Faith fidgeted a bit, nervous at the prospects that lay in front of her.
“B . . . I know we’re not okay yet, so . . .”
Buffy interrupted.
“ . . . No, we’re not okay yet. Kinda far from it, I’d say. We have a lot to talk about. Tons. But we’ll deal with that when this whole ‘thing’ is over. Until then, I’m gonna do what I can to help you, and that’s a promise. Sharing a bed with you? Not at the top of our list of problems right now. Got it?” She held the covers up for Faith, indicating that she should hop in.
Faith simply nodded, and crawled into the bed, perfectly content for the moment.
She watched as Buffy grabbed some clothing from a dresser drawer and left the room, presumably to get dressed for bed. She couldn’t help the relaxed feeling that came over her as she laid there in Buffy’s bed, all snuggled up and content.
Without even realizing it, she drifted off to sleep.
Buffy entered her bedroom and closed the door behind her. She was definitely feeling tired, and couldn’t wait to crash for the night. She was about to ask Faith if she needed anything else when she noticed that the other girl was sleeping.
A small smile crept up on her face. It wasn’t because Faith looked kinda cute laying there on her bed all wrapped up like a little cocoon. It was because Buffy knew that she was right when she said that Faith was going to crash any moment, and now she had.
‘I love being right.’ She thought with a smirk on her face.
Buffy turned out the light and was just about to hop into her side of the bed when she heard something.
It was Faith. She had let out a small whimper. As Buffy got closer, she realized that Faith was breathing rather heavily for a person who was supposed to be sleeping. She pulled the covers back from up around Faith’s head and noticed that she was covered in a fine coating of sweat.
‘Oh shit! She’s dreaming. I’ve got to wake her up before it’s too late.’
Buffy quickly put her hands on Faith’s shoulders and began to shake her gently.
“Faith, come on, wake up. It’s time to wake up Faith. Come on, Slayer! Faith!!”
Suddenly Faith’s eyes flickered open and she looked to Buffy.
“Shit! I can’t believe I fuckin fell asleep! I was only out for a couple of minutes, right?”
Buffy nodded. “Yeah, I just changed and washed up, and came right back. Are you okay?”
Faith knitted her eyebrows together while pondering Buffy’s question. She realized that something was different. Her reaction to her dream (which she couldn’t even remember, right now) was not as severe as it had been other times. Her breathing was a little rough and she was sweating, but there was no pain. Oh, and no catatonia. ‘Bonus.’
“Uh, yeah, I’m fine. Thank god you woke me up when you did. This is wicked weird. I don’t have the normal pain part of the side effects. Which, y’know . . . not complaining here. It’s just weird. Maybe it’s got something to do with you, ‘cuz you’re near me. Maybe the Slayer-connection stops the magic from getting that close to me, ‘cuz the Slayer-connection is stronger than anything else, magic or not.”
“I don’t know Faith. That’s what we’re going to find out tomorrow. In the meanwhile, do you want to go back to sleep . . . I mean . . . now that I’m here? Like you said, maybe it won’t be that bad if I’m here next to you.”
Faith thought about it for a minute.
“I don’t know, B. It’s kinda scary. Big-time scary.”
“Well, I’ll be right here next to you. If I think something’s going on, I’ll jump on in and save the day. It’s kinda what I do. Birthright and all.”
With that, Buffy crawled onto her side of the bed and settled in. She laid on her side so that she was facing Faith. She immediately closed her eyes and relaxed, trying to let sleep take over her.
Faith, on the other hand, had rolled onto her back and lay awake, staring at the ceiling. Her feet started dancing back and forth, part of a nervous habit she picked up years ago. She hadn’t even realized that she was doing it until she heard Buffy let out an annoyed sigh.
“Hey, Fred Astaire? Are you planning on keeping up the ‘midnight mambo’ all night over there, or were you going to try and sleep?” Buffy asked, not opening her eyes.
“Sorry,” Faith replied, “nervous habit. Just scared to sleep, I guess.”
Buffy sighed. With eyes still closed, she began to speak again.
“What I’m about to do does not signify that things are okay between us. I just want to get some sleep, and I know that you definitely need it too. Understood?”
Faith glanced over at Buffy with an unsure look on her face. “Umm, yeahhhhh, I guess.”
“Alright then.” Buffy replied. She opened her eyes only long enough to scoot closer to Faith, pull the girl closer to her, push her on her side, and drape an arm over her midsection.
‘Oh. My. God. Is Buffy spooning me? Yep. Buffy-fuckin-Summers is spooning me.’
“Not a word of this to anyone, Faith. Got it?” Buffy said with her eyes closed yet again.
“Yeah, I got it, B.” Faith answered with a small grin on her face.
She relaxed into Buffy’s embrace and slowly drifted off to sleep, a content smile playing on her lips.
Faith awoke to first light of morning. The house was still silent, except for the sound of the front door that had been opened and closed just a moment ago. She couldn’t believe that she had got through an entire night without having any of the dreams.
Feeling well-rested, she began to stretch, preparing to get up out of bed. However, she cut her stretch short when she realized that Buffy was still pressed tightly against her.
A big smile appeared on the dark-Slayer’s face. She couldn’t believe that Buffy had actually shared a bed with her, let alone ‘cuddled’ up against her just so that they could both get a good night’s rest. It all seemed too surreal for her to handle.
She pondered lying there in the bed for awhile, just to listen to the smaller girl breath and to feel the warmth of her body. But, Faith thought that it would be too awkward for Buffy to wake up that way. She didn’t want the other girl to have any regrets.
So, carefully as not to wake Buffy up, Faith slid over and stepped off of the bed. She crept around the room to her bags, quietly rummaging through them to get a fresh pair of clothes. When she found some, she opened the bedroom door and headed to the bathroom to shower and get changed.
When she passed the staircase, she looked down to see Angel, Cordy, Giles and Wes sitting in the living room, patiently waiting for the rest of the household to wake up.
Angel glanced up at her and gave her a wink, trying not to alert the others to her presence. She waved at him and indicated that she was headed to shower. She smiled at him before walking off towards the bathroom.
Neither he nor Faith had noticed or paid attention to the fact that she was walking around unaided and without a struggle.
Faith stood with her eyes closed underneath the hot spray of the shower, enjoying every moment of it. The showers in prison had been a bad experience. When they weren’t spurting forth lukewarm water at a rate of just more than a trickle, they were the meeting place of the ‘bad’ crowd of the prison. She had to defend herself in the showers on more than one occasion, so she had never enjoyed her showering experiences while there.
She had been in the shower for some time now. She was sure that either Willow or Dawn would be banging on the door at any minute, so she reluctantly turned off the water and stepped out of the shower.
After getting dressed and drying her hair, she grabbed the rest of her stuff and headed back to Buffy’s bedroom.
When she got there, she was surprised to see Buffy lying awake in her bed. As she walked through the door, Buffy’s eyes came up to meet hers.
“Shower.” Faith said.
“Yeah, I kind of figured.” Buffy responded.
Silence filled the air. Faith stood next to the now closed door, waiting for Buffy to say something. ‘Shit . . . maybe I’m supposed to say somethin’ here. But what?’
“So, umm . . . thanks for last night. I was kind of a mess. But I guess that sleep did me some good, so . . . yeah. Thanks.” Buffy just looked at her, a somewhat confused look on her face. Then a realization hit her.
“Hey . . . I see you’re back to the walking and hopping and whatnot. I must have some sort of healing powers in my cuddling. OOH! I love it . . . ‘the all-healing Slayer-cuddle, --sure to cure your ailment.’ I should market that.” Buffy joked.
“Hell yeah, you should.” Faith responded. “I don’t know what you did, but whatever it was, it worked. A nightmare-free night, and a pert and semi-lively ‘me’ in the mornin'. I could definitely get used to somethin’ like that.”
Faith’s eyes got big as she realized what she had just said. ‘Oh geez. I just basically told B that I could get used to cuddling with her. Maybe she didn’t pick up on it.’
Faith looked to Buffy, who had a slight blush on her face.
‘Yep, definitely picked up on it.’ She decided to change the subject.
“So, you gonna get up and get anytime soon, blondie? Angel is here with Queen C and Wes, and Giles is up too. Guess they’re all pretty eager to get on with this thing.”
“Yeah, I’m getting up now. I was just waiting for you to come back is all.”
Buffy sat up and got out of bed. She was considering taking a shower when she heard the water running.
“Crap. Willow or Tara must be in the shower. Guess I’ll have to wait ‘til later. I’ll just get changed so we can go downstairs.”
She walked over to her closet and opened the door, stepping behind it as she began to undress.
Faith couldn’t help but catch a glance out of the corner of her eye. She saw that Buffy had stripped down to her underwear and t-shirt, and that she was reaching up in her closet to grab something on the top shelf.
Then, Faith saw something that definitely caught her eye. As Buffy was reaching, her t-shirt had lifted up a little, revealing the upper hem of her underwear (which had slipped down a little, revealing just the tiniest bit of top of her butt). Peeking just above the top of the hem of her underwear was the trace of a tattoo.
Faith gasped as she recalled the circumstances behind the tattoo.
You see, it was her little ‘gift’ to Buffy during the whole ‘body-swap’ incident. Knowing that there was a chance that Buffy may get her body back, Faith wanted to make sure that the other girl had a permanent reminder of the incident. Just before she was about to head to the airport, she stopped at a local tattoo parlor. She picked out a semi-large heart with a stake going through it. The real kicker was that she had ‘Faith’ written smack-dab in the middle of the heart. This way, she would always be a part of Buffy, whether the other girl liked it or not.
She couldn’t believe that she had almost forgotten about it. But she didn’t have much time to think about it, as Buffy had heard her gasp and turned to look at her.
“Admiring your handiwork, Faith?” Buffy said, trying to sound angry but not able to keep the smile she was trying to hide off of her face.
“Yeah, B . . . about that . . .” Faith trailed off.
“About that . . .” Buffy mocked. “Can you imagine having to explain it to my mother and friends? And Riley? It was definitely not fun, but a good joke on your part. I guess you got the last laugh in that little bit. Touché.” Buffy responded while trying to get a glimpse of the tattoo in the mirror on her closet door.
Faith laughed softly.
“Well, B . . . I guess that since you were always tellin’ me that I was such a pain in your ass, I would make it a little more literal.”
Buffy and Faith laughed as they finished getting ready.
When they finally stepped out of the bedroom, they discovered that Tara had showered, and that Willow was just about to hop in. She told them that she would be down in about an hour.
Having a little bit of time to spare, Faith decided that she wanted to go do some tai-chi in the basement, wanting to take advantage of her newly regained strength while she was able to.
“Hey, B, I hope you don’t think I’m skippin’ out on the little party downstairs, but I think I’m gonna head to the basement to do some tai-chi. D’ya mind?”
Buffy considered the other girl's question, and finally replied, “Nope, I don’t . . . as long as you don’t mind if I join you. I could definitely use a little more balance and peace today.”
Faith gave Buffy a warm smile. “Of course I don’t mind. But . . . I do things a little unconventionally. Think you’ll be able to deal?”
“Lead the way.” Buffy responded with a smile.
Before the girls headed to the basement, Faith ran back into Buffy’s room and grabbed one of her bags. She met Buffy back in the hallway and the two girls made their way to the basement, saying polite ‘good mornings’ as they passed people throughout the house.
When they finally reached the basement, Faith knelt down beside her bag and pulled out a small CD-Player and some CD’s.
Buffy looked on doubtfully.
“So, is this what you mean by unconventional? Playing the ‘healing’ music? Faith, I’ve done that before, too. Hello, that stuff plays the whole time on my ‘Tai-Chi for Dummies’ DVD. I can handle it. In fact, I prefer it over the silence.” Buffy stated very matter-of-factly.
Faith gave her a sly grin.
“I don’t think this is the kinda music you’re used to, B.” Faith stated as she handed the other girl a CD case.
Buffy looked at it and a funny look came over her face.
“Hmm . . . Nine Inch Nails, Smashing Pumpkins, Tool, Nirvana . . . Faith, I really don’t think you can do Tai-Chi to these. They’re far too fast and hard, and just . . . noisy.” Buffy said as she screwed up her face while handing the case back to her.
“You just have to go with me on this one, B. Trust me, you’ll like it.”
Buffy gave her a look, and then just shrugged her shoulders.
“Fine, whatever you say. Please, continue.”
Faith put the CD in and pressed play. The girls had just enough time to get into position before the first song started. It was “The Fragile” by Nine Inch Nails.
Faith closed her eyes as the music started and began to take in several deep breaths. She had a look of total concentration on her face.
Buffy looked on questioningly, but decided to just give in. She closed her eyes and began to steady her breathing as well, relaxing to the surprisingly mellow sound of the song playing. She had expected something much more loud and hard. It wasn’t exactly her type of music, but she could deal with it.
As the beat of the music began to pick up, both girls began their Tai-chi exercises. They still had their eyes closed, but they had somehow managed to start at the same moment and remain perfectly in sync with one another. Their movements were slow and fluid in nature, and even their breathing patterns matched one another’s.
They had continued through their routing for at least 30 minutes without any disruptions. The rest of the gang had gathered upstairs and began going over the game plan. When they noticed that neither Buffy nor Faith had resurface from the basement, they had asked Tara to go and get the two slayers.
Slowly, Tara made her way to the basement and quietly crept down the first few stairs. What she saw before nearly took her breath away. She looked on as Buffy and Faith worked through their Tai-chi movements, moving in perfect synchronicity. She actually had to sit down at the top of the steps to catch her breath. Still, she ducked her head down so that she could continue watching.
Hoping to remain unnoticed, she watched as their auras emanated around them into the surrounding air. She couldn’t tell whose was whose, because they matched perfectly. The mellow-blue color shimmered around the two slayers, growing more and more intense as the minutes passed.
Of course, your average person wouldn’t have been able to see the blue shimmer around the two girls. But Tara, being a witch, could see it and feel it as if it were corporeal. She cold feel the sense of tranquility and harmony emitting from the two girls, and she was taken back by the beauty of it all. Fortunately for her, the two slayers had been so completely engulfed in their movements that they hadn’t detected her presence yet.
She knew that the gang upstairs was probably beginning to grow impatient now, but she didn’t want to interrupt the sight in front of her.
When she heard Dawn complaining and offer to barge in on the little ‘slayer-fest,’ as she called it, Tara finally decided to interrupt the girls. She stood up and coughed a little, announcing her presence as she walked to the bottom of the stairs.
Both girls instantly turned their heads towards the direction of the disturbance. They smiled as they saw a timid-looking Tara standing there.
“I’m s-sorry to disturb y-you guys, but the whole gang is upstairs w-waiting to get started.”
Faith bent down to turn off the radio, then turned to Tara and flashed her a winning smile.
“Nahh, it’s no problem TT. Just wanted to make sure I was good and ready for today. Guess my battery recharged a little last night, ‘cuz I woke up this mornin’ feelin’ better than I have in a hella-long time.”
Tara smiled. “I can definitely t-tell. Last night, your aura was really murky and dark with lots of pent-up t-tension and fear. Now, it’s really l-light and calm. The Tai-chi r-really must have helped.”
Faith nodded. “Yeah, that and Buffy. I think our Slayer-connection may be playin’ a small role in my unexpected but highly-anticipated recuperation.”
“I definitely agree.” Tara stated. “When you guys w-were doing your movements, you were perfectly in sync, even though your eyes were closed. Even your auras were perfectly matched. Must be a pretty strong connection. It w-was really beautiful.”
Faith smiled, blushing a little. C’mon TT, you gotta stop with the ‘beautiful’ talk. Look!” She pointed at her blushing face. “You’re makin’ me blush. Bad-asses aren’t supposed to blush.” She joked.
Tara laughed at Faith’s comment.
“Well, I’m going to head b-back upstairs and see if Will needs anything else before she does the spell with you. I’ll see y-you guys in a few?”
“Count on it.” Buffy stated with her business face on.
The two slayers watched as Tara walked up the stairs and closed the door behind her. Buffy walked over to a table and picked up the bottled water that she had placed there earlier. She took a long drink, then looked to Faith who was busy getting her stuff together.
“That was amazing.” She stated, looking to Faith for some sort of response.
“Yeah, it was” was all that Faith responded.
“And the music? Not so bad. Think I could get used to it.” Buffy fished a little.
“Yeah, I like it too.” Faith replied without looking up.
Buffy could tell that the other girl had something on her mind. She had her eyebrows knitted together, and she was chewing on her bottom lip.
“Okay, there’s obviously something on your mind. Spill.” Buffy ordered as she put on her resolve face.
Faith looked up at her and pondered whether or not to even bring up what she was thinking about. When Buffy raised her eyebrows expectantly and pointed at her resolve face, Faith finally gave in.
“It . . . it’s kinda stupid, but I’ve kinda been thinkin’ ‘bout it for awhile.”
“So? Just tell me Faith. I think we’re past the whole ‘me getting mad’ point.” Buffy added. To make it a little easier for the other girl, she put and understanding smile on her face.
Faith thought about it for a moment, choosing her words carefully. She threw caution to the wind and decided to just jump right in.
“Okay. Well, umm, when I was in prison, Drake said that he felt ‘energies’ around me, that’s how he found out that there was something dark around me. But, he said that he also felt a non-threatening energy. Umm . . . he said it was you, tryin’ to feel me with the slayer-connection. So, I was kinda wonderin’ . . . y’know. Why?”
She immediately lowered her head, trying to avoid Buffy’s gaze.
Buffy remained quiet for a minute, kind of shocked by the revelation. She never thought that anyone would find out about that. ‘Guess there’s no sense in trying to hide it now.’
"Yeah, that was me. At first, I was doing it because I wanted to make sure that you were still I jail. You know, safety precautions."
Faith nodded as if she understood. ‘A-ha! That’s exactly what I thought.’
“But then,“ Buffy continued, “I kept doing it, even after I was sure that you were staying put. I really don’t know how to explain it, but I’ll try.”
Faith looked at her and gave a small nod, encouraging her. Buffy smiled nervously and continued.
“So, you and I: the two Slayers. Two. There’s only supposed to be one. I guess that makes us an anomaly. Anyways, there’s only one person in the entire world who is like me, and who can understand my life. That person is you. Like it or not, we have a bond that no one else can come close to comprehending. I guess that I just kind of missed that bond. I missed feeling . . . well, you . . . in the strictly non-physical sense, of course.” She quickly covered.
Faith, who sat patiently and listened to the other girl talk, tried to hide her amazement at hearing the words coming out of Buffy. In a roundabout way, Buffy was saying that she missed her. That she missed feeling her.
Faith smirked and interrupted the other girl.
“Well B, you don’t have to worry about missing feelin’ me anymore, ‘cuz I’m here now. And, if you’re a nice girl . . . I’ll let you do all the feelin’ that you want.” She winked at the blonde girl who blushed a little.
Buffy tried to continue as if Faith hadn’t said anything, shooting her an annoyed glare before she spoke again.
“So, I reached out to you in the only way that I knew how. I wasn’t about to come and visit, mostly because I was still really angry at you. But, I think we’re past all that right now, right?”
Faith nodded, turning her smirk into an agreeing smile.
“Yeah, I think we are, B. At least I hope so. We’ll find out today what’s been going on in my noggin, then we’ll go from there. I can’t wait to figure out what the hell is goin’ on with me. But, before we do that . . .” she paused dramatically, “ . . . can we get back to the feelin’ part?” She gave Buffy a naughty smile.
“Ughh. Faith, you’re incorrigible. Let’s go.”
She grabbed Faith by the elbow and pulled her up the stairs, giggling at the pout-y face that she received from the supposed bad-ass slayer dragging her feet behind her.
When the two girls walked into the kitchen, they saw then entire gang gathered around. They received a few ‘good mornings’ and ‘hellos’ as they walked through, making their way to the island-countertop where Willow had several books and other supplies scattered around.
Buffy looked around and noticed Spike casually leaning against a doorway, trying to remain unseen in the background. She walked over to him with a confused look on her face.
“Spike? What are you doing here?” Her voice wasn’t angry or sharp . . . she was just genuinely surprised to see him there.
“Peaches mentioned that the other bird, Faith? . . . is having some problems, that things might get a bit ugly. Figured you could use all the help you can muster. So, ‘ere I am. No questions, ‘kay?”
Buffy gave him a small yet appreciative smile before turning back towards the others.
In the meanwhile, Cordelia had given Faith a funny look and pulled her aside by the elbow to have a ‘chat’ with her.
“Geez . . . what is it with people and the whole ‘draggin’-me-‘round-by-my-elbow’ thing? It’s gettin’ a little tired.” Faith said, a little annoyed.
Cordelia just ignored her comment.
“Well, well, well . . . look who’s up with the walking and the hopping and whatnot. Yesterday you were Miss Rubberlegs, and today you defy gravity and the expectations of everyone here. What gives? What kind of drugs did they give you?” She asked playfully.
A smirk appeared on Faith’s face. “Thanks for the keen observiness. But, for your info? No drugs. Just a nice little dose of Vitamin ‘B’.” She said with a hint of bravado.
Cordelia’s jaw just about dropped to the floor when she realized the double entendre before here.
“GET OUT! Are you implying that little Miss-Tightly-Wound was makin’ with the sexual healing?” she asked in disbelief.
Faith burst out in a hoarse laugh, clutching her knees as she bent over in laughter.
“Nahh, nothin’ like that. Trust me . . . after more than a year in jail, I’m definitely itchin’ to get my naughty on, but not like this. I was afraid to sleep last night ‘cuz I dozed off for a few minutes and started to have a nightmare. But B swooped in and woke me up before it got bad, thus saving the day. The aftereffects weren’t killer like usual, and we thought it must’ve been ‘cuz of the Slayer-connection. So, when I told her I didn’t wanna go to sleep again, she fuckin’ spooned me, and we both fell asleep. Let me tell ya . . . I haven’t slept that good my whole life.”
Cordelia put on a big smile. “Now THAT is just too frickin’ cute. Tell me Faithy . . . are you guys gonna get monogrammed towels and matching bath robes next?” She winked.
Faith just gave her a slight menacing glare before pulling her back to join the gang.
When they reentered the kitchen, the rest of the gang were at full attention as Willow was speaking.
“So, I’m gonna need all of you to form a circle around Faith, Tara, and me. Tara’s going to be my anchor. She’ll be able to pull me out if the dark magic is too strong. If she can’t do it alone, she’s going to have to draw on the energy from the circle, which is where all of you come in to play. Just keep an eye out for anything out of the norm. If I can’t get out . . . well, Faith and I will have a whole new set of problems to deal with.”
The entire group looked pretty nervous, including Buffy who decided to voice her opinion.
“Listen, I have an idea, but I don’t think you guys are gonna like it. I think that I should be inside the circle with Faith too.”
Willow interrupted. “Buffy, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Will, just listen. Faith started having a nightmare last night, but I woke her up in time. Point is this: she was OK when I got to her . . . no sweats, no pain. And she was fine for the rest of the night when I was by her side. I think the Slayer-connection is so strong that the dark magics can’t get through it.”
Giles and Willow shot each other nervous glances.
“Buffy, you do realize that this could be extremely dangerous. Are you quite sure that it’s a good idea to have both you and Faith susceptible to this type of threat simultaneously?” Giles asked, full of concern.
He finally had both of his slayers back. It was hard for him to think of losing Faith again, but it was almost too much for him to think of losing both of them at once.
Buffy glanced over at Faith, and then looked back to Giles.
“Giles, I appreciate your concern, really. But you have to realize something: we’re Slayers. We put our lives on the line every time we walk out the door, and we are always susceptible to some type of threat. I’m trying to make sure that none of you have to put your lives on the line this time because it’s not your job. It’s mine.”
Giles realized that Buffy was trying to look out for the best interests of everyone involved. He also realized that she had made up her mind already, and that it was useless to oppose any further.
Reluctantly, he nodded in assent, though he still didn’t like the idea of both of his slayers going under the proverbial knife.
Feeling that everyone knew their parts, Willow began gathering the articles scattered around the counter, indicating that it was time to get things started.
“Well, it looks like it’s time to get this freak-show on the road.” Faith stated as she grabbed a couple of the items out of Willow’s hands, making her way towards the living room.
“Let’s do this.” Buffy stated, making eye contact with each and every person in the room before following Faith into the living room.
The rest of the gang slowly followed into the living room. When they entered, they noticed that Buffy and Faith had moved all of the furniture to the outskirts of the room, leaving a large empty space in the center of the room.
Willow got to work as well, grabbing a glass bowl and placing an assortment of various herbs and powders in it. Tara had lit a few incense sticks and walked around the room, letting the scented smoke fill the atmosphere.
When Willow had finished with the contents of the glass bowl, she placed it on the floor and picked up a different container filled with white-colored sand. She carefully poured the sand into a semi-large circle, big enough to enclose herself, Tara, Faith and Buffy within it.
Finally, she grabbed a couple of crystals out of a velvet satchel she had brought in with her and placed them at five points within the circle, signifying earth, air, fire, water, and spirit.
As she finished, she looked up to meet the anxious eyes of everyone in the gang. It was almost time and she needed to give the final instructions.
“Okay, so we have everything set up now. Myself, Tara, Faith and Buffy will be within the inner circle. The sand is there for a purpose, as you’ll see in a few minutes. No matter what happens, once I start the ritual, NO ONE can cross the inner circle. It won’t be able to stand the excess energy, and then we’ll all be put at risk. Are we clear on that?”
The entire gang nodded their heads affirmatively.
By this point, Faith had become extremely nervous. All of the energy that she had felt that morning seemed to be completely drained from her. As she stood, her legs started to tremble beneath her. She felt as if she were about to tumble over when she felt a small hand slip into her own.
Buffy had noticed the nervous expression on Faith’s face and saw her start to tremble. To assure and comfort the uneasy girl in front of her, she quickly slipped her hand into the other girl's and gave her a quick smile before turning her attention to Willow.
Faith’s legs stopped trembling as she realized that Buffy was going to be there for her. All of these people in front of her were there to help. It seemed almost unfathomable to her, being a part of a group of people this large who actually cared enough about her to help. She had never felt anything like this before.
She shook her head slightly and turned her head back to the red-head in front of her.
“There’s one more thing that I think I should bring up. It involves Angel and Spike.”
The group collectively turned their heads towards the two vampires who were standing near the staircase, staying as far away from the windows as possible.
Willow continued.
“As much as we all appreciate the help you are willing to give, I think that you both need to keep back from this.” She received annoyed looks from the two men, and tried to explain herself. “Let me explain. Angel . . . as we’ve all seen in the past, your soul seems to be a temperamental thing; it’s not tied as tight as all of ours. I don’t know exactly what’s going to happen during this ritual. The last thing we need is for the dark magic to get to you and take your soul. It’s too risky right now.”
Angel took in what Willow had said, and couldn’t argue with her entirely valid point. He nodded his head and then stepped back, indicating his assent.
Willow then turned to Spike.
“And Spike . . . I know you mean the best and all, but we have to face the facts: you don’t have a soul. You are still ‘evil,’ though you may not seem that way to us. I know you want to help us, and we really appreciate that, but this dark magic may try to harness you and use you as a tool for its own purpose. Once again, it just seems too risky at this point.”
Spike nodded, also understanding Willow’s point.
“Yeh, I get it, luv. No need to worry. But I’m not going anywhere just yet . . . you may need me down the road, and I want to be ‘ere when that time comes. ‘lright?”
“Thank you, Spike.” Buffy said from across the room.
He nodded at her, then joined Angel in the dining room area, anxiously watching what was happening in the next room.
“Okay then,” Willow began, “I think we’re ready to start.”
She walked into the circle of sand and was immediately joined by Tara, then by Buffy and Faith who were still holding hands. Buffy gave Faith’s hand a quick squeeze before letting go so that they could move to their respective spaces.
Meanwhile, Cordelia, Wes, Dawn, Giles, Xander, and Anya had formed themselves into a large circle around the sand-circle. They didn’t link hands, but they were close enough to do so if the need to became an issue. They anxiously sat and watched on.
When Willow saw that everyone and everything was situated, she turned one last time to look at the group.
“Okay, here goes nothing.”
She lowered her head and closed eyes, then mumbled an incantation slowly and quietly. As soon as she stopped speaking, the white sand around them turned into a brilliant orange color. To the four girls inside the circle, it looked almost as if nothing had happened around them. The only effect they had noticed was that they couldn’t hear anything outside of the circle.
However the rest of the gang saw something completely different. After the sand began to glow orange, a large flash of light emitted from it. Suddenly, it seemed as if the sand was on fire. There were no flames, but it distorted the atmosphere around it into a blurry, wavy view, almost as if trying to look through a campfire. Inside the circle, they could make out the figures of their friends, but they couldn’t tell exactly what was going on.
Xander called out to Willow, trying to make sure that they were all okay. However, he got no response.
“Does anyone else find that just a little bit weird?” he asked as he addressed his peers.
“Shh. Quiet now, Xander. We don’t want to interrupt the ritual.” Giles whispered, not taking his eyes off of the sight in front of him.
Back inside the circle, Willow grasped Faith’s hand. She closed her eyes and mumbled another incantation. In a flash, they had both gasped and fallen back seemingly unconscious, Willow into Tara’s lap and Faith into Buffy’s lap.
Both Tara and Buffy gave each other a nervous look as the girls lying in their laps began to tremble a bit.
Tara closed her eyes and concentrated, trying to feel any indication from Willow that she needed help.
Feeling no sense of harm, she kept her eyes closed and continued waiting, unconsciously stroking Willow’s hair all the while.
Willow opened her eyes to find that she wasn’t inside the Summers’ living room anymore. She glanced around and found herself in a dark alleyway, undoubtedly somewhere in Sunnydale. She glanced up when she heard a sound.
“Welcome to my mind. ‘Please keep your hands and feet inside the car at all times, sit back, and enjoy the ride’.” Faith said in her best ‘ride operator’ voice, a small smirk playing on her lips.
“Faith? Umm . . . where are we? Is this one of your memories?” Willow asked as she got up off of the damp ground.
“Kinda looks that way, doesn’t it?”
“So, where is this? What am I looking at?” Willow asked, trying to figure out the significance of the location they were in.
Faith paused for a moment, looking kind of nervous.
“This is the night it all changed. If you direct your attention that way,” she pointed towards the entrance of the alley, “I think we’ll be startin’ the show any minute now.”
No sooner than Faith had said the words did two people come running down the alley.
Willow’s eyes widened a bit when she realized it was Faith and Buffy. She looked on as a vamp jumped out from behind a pile of trash. Buffy grabbed the vamp and tossed him to Faith, who staked him on contact. They began running forward again, only to have another vamp jump out.
“Oh . . . this is the night when . . .” Willow trailed off, realizing that she was watching a replay of the night Faith killed Allen Finch.
“Shh, don’t wanna miss the show.” Faith pointed out.
Willow watched as memory-Faith grabbed the vamp and tossed him to Buffy, who dusted him just like Faith had the previous vamp. Willow couldn’t help but notice how in-step the two Slayers were with each other, how fluid their motions were and how well they anticipated one another.
As the two girls ran on, Willow watched as another figure jumped out of the darkness. She watched as Faith immediately went in for the kill, much like she had with the other vamp. Only when it was too late did she hear Buffy yell, “Faith, no!”, as Faith’s stake descended into the figure's chest.
Willow watched in horror as memory-Faith looked at her blood-covered hands in shock, trying to figure out what had happened.
Then, she looked up to the real Faith who had her eyes closed and was shaking.
“Faith . . . it was an accident. I can see that. It could’ve happened to anyone, it could’ve been Buffy.” Willow softly reasoned.
Faith’s eyes remained clamped shut.
“Yeah . . . but it still fuckin’ hurts to see it. Every fuckin’ time I close my eyes. It won’t stop hauntin’ me.” Faith said through clenched teeth, fighting back her emotion.
Willow turned her attention from Faith back to the scene in front of her when she realized that they were somewhere totally different now.
She looked around, trying to place herself.
“Uh, Faith? Where are we now?” Willow asked, confused.
Faith unclenched her eyes only long enough take in her surroundings.
“We’re in my motel room. Yeah, I guess you wouldn’t know where we are, seeing as that ya never were actually here to visit or nothin’.” Faith said, not able to help the small amount of bitterness that escaped with her words.
Willow had no response, she simply looked down at her feet. She kept here eyes glued down until she heard the door open. She saw memory-Buffy and Faith walk into the room.
She watched as Buffy offered to help, and as Faith tried to push her away. That caught her as odd.
She looked over to the real Faith, who still had her eyes clenched shut.
“Faith, why wouldn’t you accept Buffy’s help? She was trying to be there for you, and you pushed her away. Why?” Willow asked, almost pleading.
“Because I know I was in some deep shit. I woulda loved to let Buffy help me, but I didn’t wanna pull her into my mess. I had nothin’ to lose, and she had everything . . . family, friends, school, a perfect fuckin’ life. I didn’t want to poison her life like I had my own. So, I pushed her away. Seemed easier that way.”
Willow just shook her head. She watched as memory-Buffy pulled Faith into a hug, placing a kiss on her head while trying to comfort her. It struck Willow as kind of strange, Buffy showing affection to Faith like that and all. Still, she watched on as Faith pushed Buffy away one last time, and as memory-Faith fell to her knees sobbing as the other girl left.
Willow blinked her eyes and found that she was in another place again.
“Oh my goddess . . . this is the Mayor’s Office. Faith . . . why did you come here? Were you that anxious to turn on us that quickly?” Willow asked, trying not to show her anger.
Faith opened her eyes to see the all-too-familiar office in front of her. She began pacing, trying to distract herself from the scene that was about to play out.
“It wasn’t like that, Red. I came here to turn myself in, ‘cuz it was closer than the Police Station, and I wanted to get it over with as quick as I could.”
Both girls turned their heads when they heard familiar voices . . . those of memory-Faith and the Mayor.
They listened as the Mayor told Faith that he had set her up with Finch, how he had other plans for her, and how he knew she’d turn to him.
A particular bit of the conversation that really caught Willow’s attention was when memory-Faith had mumbled, “I’m tired of not being wanted.”
Willow moved her eyes over to the real Faith, who had stopped pacing and cringed as she heard herself say the words. She knew that Faith had felt lonely back in the day . . . the Scoobies never really had included her all that much, being as young and ignorant as they were. But she never knew that Faith felt unwanted . . . so much so that she would run to the open arms of the first person who came along.
When she heard memory-Faith agree to the job, with the condition that Buffy and her friends were not to be harmed, she came upon a realization. ‘Faith didn’t switch sides to harm us; she did it to protect us . . . from herself.’
She watched as the Mayor held out his hand for Faith to shake, and how she reciprocated the gesture. Then, she watched as memory-Faith’s eyes turned black, her body turned rigid, and she shrieked out in pain.
The shriek was enough to stop the real Faith from pacing and to bring her attention to the scene in front of her.
Willow looked on with a disturbed look on her face.
“Faith . . . what’s happening? I don’t . . .”
“Fucked if I know.” Faith interrupted as she walked over to Willow, getting closer to the scene. “This is all new to me.”
“Shh . . . what’s he saying?” Willow asked, straining her ears to listen to his slow mumble.
‘Animus mei Animus vestri
Infusco lacuna Infectum voluntas
Mei postulatio fieri.
Amicitia fidelis adiuvo
Tantum amor curo. . . . . .
Oh, don’t worry, I won’t hurt your friends. You will.’
“Red, what’s that mean? What’d he do to me? How come I never fuckin saw that part before?” Faith spit out, in disbelief of what she had just saw happen.
“I don’t know Faith . . . I think it’s time we get back to our plane so we can figure this out.”
Willow closed her eyes and uttered a few words, trying to break her and Faith out of the ritual. She opened her eyes, expecting to be back in Buffy’s living room, but instead she found that she was in another alleyway with Faith.
“Red? What’s going on? I thought you said we were goin’ back?” Faith asked as she looked around, recognizing the alley she was in.
“Yeah, well, I thought so too. Let me try again.”
She closed her eyes and uttered the same words, but to no avail. She looked up to the sky and concentrated . . . “Tara . . . get us out of here. Please.”
“Wait.” Faith said, looking around. “I know this place. We aren’t finished yet. We can’t go back ‘til we see how this ends.”
“I don’t get it. What do you mean ‘how it ends’?” Willow asked.
Faith shuttered as she looked around.
“This is the night that Angel saved me. I was either going to A.) kill him, or B.) let him kill me. He didn’t like either option, so he chose C.) save me.” Faith uttered as she looked at Willow with pain on her face.
The girls were shook out of their conversation when they heard the sound of breaking glass, followed by a loud thud.
They watched as Faith began to attack Angel, and as he tried to calm her.
“I already told you Angel . . . I’m poison. There is NOTHING good about me! I’m dirty. No one can help me.”
“I can help you Faith. I’ve been almost exactly where you are now. I can help you. We need you. We . . . I care about you, Faith.
She struggled a little, but then fell against Angel, sobbing.
Angel wrapped his arms around the shaking girl in a protective embrace. “Shhh, it’s okay, Faith. I’m here. I care. I’m going to help you. I care, Faith. I won’t let anyone hurt you.” Angel repeated over and over.
A small smile appeared on real Faith’s face as she watched Angel comfort the fragile girl n his arms. “He really did care, Red. Maybe the first person to ever care about me. Anyways, I think we can high-tail it outta here now.”
Willow gave Faith a sympathetic look before closing her eyes and trying the incantation again.
“Nope. Nothing. I think we need Tara to pull us out.” Willow stated after her incantation failed yet again. She looked back to the scene in front of her after something caught her attention. “Hey . . . what’s going on over there?” She pointed at the people in the memory scene.
Faith followed Willow’s hand. She watched as memory-Faith’s eyes turned black again, and then shone a bright white color before she went limp in Angel’s arms.
“Beats the shit outta me.” Faith said as she watched with great interest. “Looks like Angel didn’t notice it either, ‘cuz he’s just carryin’ me away like nothin’ happened.”
“Yeah, I guess not.” Willow stated as she watched the memory fade. “Boy, I can’t wait to get back and tell everyone about this. We’ll hit the books and find out what’s going on in no time. You should be in ship-shape before long, right Faith?”
Willow waited for an answer from the girl who was standing behind her.
“Right, Faith?” she asked again, turning around slowly to face the other girl.
When she fully turned, she saw Faith lying on the ground in a fetal position, her eyes clenched shut as she grabbed on to her head.
“Faith!” Willow screamed as she rushed over to the huddled mass and knelt down next to her. “Faith, what’s wrong? Come on! Talk to me here!”
Faith couldn’t respond. The pain in her head was so hard and loud that it blocked out everything around her.
Willow gasped as she saw blood start to trickle out of Faith’s nose and clenched eyes.
“Oh, god. No!”
Before she could try the incantation again or call out to Tara, a large gust filled the alley that forced her to close her eyes.
When she opened her eyes again, she was back in the Summers’ living room. She quickly rolled on her side to see Faith lying in Buffy’s arms, curled up in a fetal position, bleeding from her nose and still-clenched eyes.
“Oh god, no!” Willow yelled as she sat and looked at Faith, then at Buffy who was crying while holding the broken girl in her arms.
“Willow, what happened?” Buffy said through clenched teeth, tears streaming down her face.
“I . . . oh god . . . I . . . things were going fine! W-we went through a couple of Faith’s memories, and I think we got some really useful information. I saw what happened in the alley when Finch died, and your confrontation with her at the motel. Oh! Then, I saw what happened at the Mayor’s office . . . she went to turn herself in . . . but . . . it’s complicated. He, uh . . . he put some kind of a spell on her . . . and then we were in another alley and Angel saved her. I tried to call to Tara to pull us out. I tried, Buffy! But something was wrong . . .”
Tara interrupted. “I heard you Will. I t-tried to get you guys out, but I couldn’t, something was stopping me. I had to use the energy from the circle.”
Willow looked away from Tara and towards the outside of the sand-circle. Her eyes grew even wider as she saw that all of the people in the outer circle were lying there passed out. Angel and Spike stood hovering over them, checking that they were okay.
“Oh my god!” Willow screeched, sobs now overcoming her. She couldn’t believe how wrong things had went, and she couldn’t help but feel that it was somehow her fault.
Buffy tried to get her attention, needing to know what else happened.
“Will . . . they’re fine, they just passed out from the energy exchange. IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. We need to deal with Faith right now, because I don’t know what to do here.” Buffy said, trying to sound as calm as possible.
The red-head stopped her sobs long enough to tell Buffy and Tara the rest.
“After we saw Angel save her, something caught my eye . . . memory-Faith’s eyes turned black, then bright white, and then she passed out. Our Faith had no recollection of that, or of the Mayor putting a spell on her. She never saw those parts in her dreams. Anyways, my back was towards her, and when I turned around, she was on the ground like she is now. God . . . Buffy, I didn’t know . . . I didn’t mean to . . . It’s all my fault.”
She broke down sobbing again. Tara scooped her up in her arms and rocked her gently.
Buffy stood up with Faith in her arms and tried to step out of the circle, but the invisible barrier that the sand had created held her back. She balled her hand into a fist and punched the barrier a few times, hoping to get through. After having no luck, she turned to Tara.
“Tara, can you break through this thing?”
Tara lowered her head and mumbled a few words, and the barrier dissolved into thin air.
As the barrier dissipated, Angel looked up and saw Buffy run out of the circle with Faith in her arms.
“Buffy! What the hell happened in there? What’s wrong with Faith?” he left Spike to watch over the others and followed Buffy up to her bedroom where she gently lay Faith down onto her bed.
She turned to him and ran into his arms.
“I don’t know what happened, Angel” she choked out between sobs. “One minute, everything was going smooth, then Tara was trying to pull them out because she heard Willow call to her. But, she couldn’t do it, so she used the circle’s energy . . . I guess that’s why they all passed out. Next thing I know, Faith is shaking in my arms, and she’s got blood coming out of her nose and eyes . . . and she’s breathing, but I don’t know what to do. We need help, Angel . . . we can’t let this kill her.” She buried her face into his chest and continued to sob.
He protectively wrapped his arms around her, whispering a few comforting words to her.
“Don’t worry, Buffy. We’ll figure it out, and Faith will be fine. This is what she would get like before after her dreams, but . . . never with the blood thing. I think we need to go wake up the others so we can look further into this.” He let go of her and grabbed her hand, trying to get her to walk towards the door with him. “Come on.”
She pulled her hand away. “No, Angel . . . I’m not leaving her alone. Go and wake the others, Spike and Tara can help. Send Giles up right away, please.”
She walked quickly back to Faith’s side, leaving him no chance to object.
Before he went downstairs, he walked into the bathroom and filled up a bowl with warm water. He grabbed a clean washcloth and towel and made his way back to Buffy’s room.
“Thought you might want to clean her up a bit.” He stated as he left the items on her nightstand, then turned to leave the two girls alone.
Buffy promptly grabbed the washcloth and dipped it into the water. She rang it out before gently wiping the blood away from Faith’s face. As she worked, she quietly whispered to the unconscious girl in front of her.
“Faith? Can you hear me? You have to fight. You’re so much stronger than this, and you’re not alone this time. You’re surrounded by people who care about you, including me. Faith . . . I can’t let you leave me again. We’re the Chosen two, sister . . . that bond alone makes it seem like we’re meant to be around each other. I felt so lost when you were gone. Don’t get me wrong, I hated you at first, for leaving me. I thought that we understood one another, that you felt alone without me, too. Suddenly, you weren’t there, and I was mad at you for that.”
She paused as she put the soiled washcloth back in the water and used the clean towel to dry the wetness from Faith’s face. She continued whispering.
“But, I got over it when I came to see you in jail. Hell, I got over it even before that. I would try to feel you every night, just so that I wouldn’t feel so alone . . . you know, temporarily fill the void that you left behind. And you know what? I didn’t. Feel so alone, that it. Then suddenly, you’re back in my life again, and Angel is telling me that all of the bad stuff that went down probably wasn’t your fault, and that I should give you the chance to start over with a clean slate. I couldn’t help but smile, because there’s nothing more that I would love than to be given a second chance at a real friendship with you. I don’t want to feel so alone anymore. And now, maybe I . . . we . . . won’t have to. But first, you need to fight this . . . WE need to fight this. I’ve gotten too used to the idea of having you around again for you to just up and leave for a second time.”
By this point, she was absentmindedly stroking Faith’s hair.
She wasn’t lying in what she had said . . . she really didn’t want to feel alone again. But . . . could there be something else underneath it all? Could it be that it wasn’t the feel of the Slayer-connection that she wanted, but just the feel of Faith?
She pushed the thought to the back of her mind as she heard someone coming up the stairs.
As she turned and looked towards the door, she saw Giles timidly hovering, not wanting to interrupt the tender moment.
“It’s okay . . . come in Giles.”
He walked into the room and looked down at Faith, still laying unconscious on the bed.
“Angel filled me in. Have there been any changes?” He asked quietly.
“No, none. I cleaned her up, and I tried talking to her, but . . . nothing. Do you think we should take her to the hospital?”
“No, I don’t.”
Buffy gave him a surprised look. She had expected him to go all parental and say, ‘yes, absolutely.’
He continued. “We can monitor her here just as well. This is a mystical problem, not a medical problem. They wouldn’t know what to do with her, much like we don’t right now.”
Buffy nodded her head. She turned her attention back to Faith and continued stroking her hair.
“Giles, seeing her in that coma everyday for 8 months was hard enough. She doesn’t deserve this. We need to help her.” Buffy pleaded.
She hadn’t yet realized what she had just said, or that Giles had caught it.
“I’m sorry, but . . . did you just say that you saw her while in her coma, every day for 8 months?” He asked. His tone wasn’t angry, just a bit confused.
“What? I, umm . . . oops.” She drew in a deep breath, then continued. “Yeah, I went to see her nearly every day. Guess I just felt bad that I put her there, and that she had no one else to be there for her. Plus, you know about the whole ‘Chosen Two’ thing and our connection, and how I don’t feel so alone when I’m with her. I really can’t explain it.”
“You don’t have to explain it, Buffy. You’re an adult, and you are perfectly capable of determining how you feel. Trying to get me to understand in pointless, as long you understand it yourself. Besides,” he paused, “you are well aware that there is nothing about your generation that I understand.”
He gave her a knowing smile, passing no judgment on her.
“Thanks Giles. Anyways, I think I should stay up here with her, make sure there are no changes or whatever. Is everyone else waking up down there?”
“Yes, slowly but surely. We’ll start research right away. I’ll send Angel and Spike out to patrol tonight. Perhaps they can stir up some information from the Mayor’s former cohorts. This might be a good chance for you to get some rest, we have a lot of work ahead of us.”
That sounds like a good idea. Thanks Giles.” She smiled at him, and he simply gave her a small nod before turning out of her room and disappearing down the stairs.
Buffy turned back towards Faith. She walked to the opposite side of the bed and slowly laid down besides the girl, pulling her into a similar position as the night before.
“Okay, Faith. It’s time to see if I’m gonna be a rich woman or not. We’re gonna test out that ‘All-healing Slayer Cuddle’ that I mentioned. I swear, if this works? You get 50% of the profits.” She laughed a little to herself before wrapping her arm around Faith’s waist and pulling her into a tight embrace. “Alright, let’s make with the healing.”
She rested her head on the pillow and slowly dozed off.
Buffy woke to the sound of someone quietly calling her name.
“B? Hey B? Buffy?”
Buffy’s eyes shot open, realizing that the voice was Faith’s. She sat up quickly, looking down at Faith who had shifted onto her back.
“Faith! Oh my god, you’re up! How are you feeling?”
Needless, she was surprised to see that Faith had awoken so soon. Angel had said that she was out for over a week the last time she had an episode like this.
Faith groaned a little. “Five by five, all things consid . . . no, wait, that’s a lie. I feel like shit, thanks for askin’.” She replied, laying her head back down on the pillow.
Buffy was too busy to actually listen to Faith’s sarcastic answer. She was frantically checking her over, feeling her forehead for a fever, trying to feel for her pulse, looking into her eyes for signs of trauma, etc.
“How long was I out for this time?” Faith asked.
Buffy glanced over at her alarm clock. “Uhh, about three hours. I guess I kinda lost track of time while I was napping.”
“Napping?” Faith asked with a grin. “I wouldn’t exactly call that napping. Sounded like you were using a chainsaw to cut down some trees over there . . . I think that signifies a fairly deep sleep, B.”
Buffy’s mouth dropped wide open. “I do NOT snore, Faith.”
Faith just glared at her with a questioning look on her face.
“Okay, fine! I might snore a LITTLE.” Buffy admitted. “BUT . . . I have an excuse. I had to have my adenoids taken out when I was little. Now maybe you can answer a question for me Faith. What’s YOUR excuse?”
Faith blinked hard and shook her head a little. “Nuh-uh, B. I don’t snore, I’ve gotcha there.”
Buffy smiled sweetly, and in her most innocent voice, she said, “Not that, Faithy . . . I mean, what’s your excuse for the drooling you’ve been doing on my pillow?”
Faith looked like a deer caught in the headlights. “I’m sorry, B, I must not have noticed it with being UNCONSCIOUS and all. How ever will you forgive me?” Faith copied Buffy’s innocent voice and batted her eyelashes as she talked.
Buffy just growled a little. “Oh Faithy, I already forgive you.” Buffy replied, teasing a little. “But, the pillow now belongs to you. Enjoy.”
The two girls chuckled a bit. After a few moments, Faith finally decided to get down to business.
“So, fill me in on the missing details: we do the mindwalk, go through some bad memories, red tries to bring us back and can’t, we watch the big finale, and then . . . go. Your turn.”
“Oh. Right. Will turned around and found you laying on the ground, bleeding from the eyes and nose. It happened here too, outside of your memory. You whimpered, you trembled, and you bled, in that order.” Buffy replied.
“I bled from the eyes?”
Buffy nodded.
“That’s wicked gross, B.”
Buffy nodded again. “Yeah, and I got to clean it up. Yuck. How convenient for you though.” Buffy said skeptically, but in a joking manner. “You can’t even stay conscious long enough after you start bleeding from your eyes to clean it up by yourself. I think it’s a conspiracy.”
Faith chuckled a little, as did Buffy who had relaxed back down, propping her head up on her elbow. She turned slightly onto her side so that she could remain in contact with Faith.
Faith looked downwards, hiding her eyes. “So, umm, what’s the what? Am I dyin?”
“No, not gonna happen. Because I . . .” she goofily wrapped her arm around Faith’s midsection, “am not letting you go, now that we’re getting along so well and all. You’ll be up and slaying in no time, right? And I’ll be able to have a night off for a change, right” Buffy joked, trying to take Faith’s mind off of the severity of the situation.
Faith chuckled again, then unconsciously laid her own arm over Buffy’s across her midsection. “Sure, B. That could happen.”
The gesture didn’t go unnoticed by Buffy, whose goofy grin turned into an endearing smile. They just gazed at each other for a few moments, happy to have the new-found peace in their often turbulent relationship.
They were brought out of their reverie when they heard a cough at the bedroom door.
Buffy immediately sat up and turned a bright shade of red when she saw that it was Cordelia. Faith just sat back and gave her a grin.
“I’m sorry; I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” Cordelia asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She continued. “Oh, don’t worry Buffy. I won’t let your little cuddle-fest out of the proverbial closet. Besides, I think it’s absolutely adorable. You can both use a little but of that slayer-lovin, as far as I’m concerned.” Cordelia stated, making both girls blush and pull their arms back to their own sides.
“Anyways, I thought I should come and get you, Wes and Giles think they might have figured some stuff out with the details Willow gave them. Should I tell them you’ll be down, in say, ohh . . . 10 minutes or so?”
Buffy looked up at Cordelia, surprised at how ‘cool’ she was being about the situation that she had walked in on.
“Uhh . . . who are you, and what did you do to the Cordelia Chase that we all know and fear?” Buffy asked, trying to sound lighthearted.
“She grew up . . . wearing big sister’s clothes these days.” Cordelia replied with an understanding smile. “I’ll just be back on my way downstairs so you two can carry on with your vicarious cuddling and gazing.” The two girls started to protest, but Cordelia cut back in. “I know, I know . . . ‘it’s a slayer-thing.’ Whatever. Be downstairs in 10 minutes or I’m sending Dawn up with the Polaroid camera and lots of film.”
She left without another word.
The two girls just sat there for a few minutes, content smiles playing across both of their faces.
Finally, Buffy helped Faith out of bed and down the stairs to hear the news.
“There's a shadow just behind me
Shrouding every step I take
Making every promise empty
Pointing every finger at me”
Tool, “Sober”
All heads in the room turned when they saw Buffy leading Faith down the stairs.
“Hey hey hey,” Xander said, “if it isn’t the Buffster and ‘Living Dead Girl.’ Ladies and Gentlemen, not even bleeding from the eyeballs can stop these two girls.”
A few stray giggles were heard throughout the room. Meanwhile, Buffy walked Faith over to the living room couch, which had since been moved back into its proper place.
“I did the cleaning.” Dawn beamed. “Oh, and by the way, I think we need a new vacuum cleaner. As it turns out, you’re not supposed to vacuum up sand in large quantities, much like you’re probably not supped to try to vacuum at the beach.”
Buffy just sent her a glare before lighting up and saying, “Well, I guess it makes things kind of even. We suck your energy to bring Faith and Willow back, and you kill the vacuum cleaner. Guess it could’ve been worse . . . at least you didn’t pierce something in a big act of retaliation.”
When she finished her little encounter with Dawn, she gently placed Faith down on the couch and sat next to her. Seeing Faith shift uncomfortably under the staring eyes of the Scoobs, Buffy grabbed Faith’s hand and gave it a little squeeze.
Just then, Wesley, Giles, and Willow walked into the living room from the kitchen, a few books and notebooks in their hands.
“If everyone is here, I suppose that we can begin.” Wesley stated, looking around the room to ensure that everyone was there.
Seeing as that everyone was accounted for, he continued.
“Right, I guess we can begin then. While the both of you were upstairs, we had to opportunity to question Willow on what happened during the ritual. She mentioned that the Mayor seemed to have placed a spell of some sorts on Faith. We’ve managed to translate the words. Basically, the spell translates as follows: ‘My soul, your soul; make dark the space and void good will; my will be done; True friendship will help; only love will cure’.”
“It’s a rough translation,” Willow interrupted, “I think I may have gotten some words jumbled. Still, we think it’s some derivative of a Trivudian Control Spell.”
“So, what does the spell do? It sounds pretty cryptic.” Buffy asked.
“We’ve had to make a few assumptions here, but we’re not through with our research yet. As far as we can tell, the Mayor removed a part of Faith’s soul and put it in himself. In turn, he placed a part of his own dark soul in her to fill up the void. By doing this, he essentially filled her with his own darkness, and was therefore able to use her to do his bidding.” Wesley explained. “I suppose when I told you before that ‘something crawled into the place where your soul was supposed to be.’ I wasn’t that far off.”
“So I was a puppet then, right? That wasn’t really me?” Faith asked hopefully.
“Yes, we believe that was the case.” Giles answered.
“But . . .” Buffy began, “if he was using her as a puppet, why was she still all ‘woman scorned’ even after he died? Wouldn’t the spell have stopped working after his death?”
Willow answered the question. “The dark magic that he used was so strong that when he died, it continued to work.”
Faith’s eyes grew wide as she came across a realization. “Holy shit . . . does this mean that I still have part of the Mayor’s soul in me? We gotta get it out . . . I feel gross . . . oh god, we gotta get it out . . .”
She began to panic, clawing at her clothes and skin in the process. Buffy quickly grabbed her flailing arms and tried to calm her down.
Willow quickly spoke up again.
“No, Faith, it’s not in you anymore.” When she saw Faith calm down a bit, she continued. “Part of the spell said, ‘true friendship will help.’ When Angel tried to save you in the alley, risking his own life in the process, he showed a true act of friendship and caring. That’s why we saw your eyes glow in the dream. The spell was broken . . . the Mayor’s soul and the darkness it carried fled you body, and you passed out from the loss of that energy. It’s not in you anymore, Faith.”
Faith visibly relaxed after hearing Willow’s explanation, but she still had other questions in her mind.
“Okay: his soul isn’t in me anymore. So, what’s goin’ on in here then,” she pointed up at her head, “what’s tryin’ to take me out?”
“That’s the tricky part, Faith.” Giles answered. “The darkness was a part of you for so long that you body became accustomed to it. One might even call it a dependence of sorts, similar to a drug addiction. It appears that the sudden disappearance of the darkness has caused you to go through a sort of mystical ‘withdrawal.’ Hence, the hot and cold sweats, the tremors, the fatigue, the restlessness, and the pain.”
“Holy shit.” Faith said in wonderment. “Man, that explains a lot! When I was in prison, I was always binging on mad amounts of candy and sugary foods. It kinda took the edge off, made things more bearable. It’s like when my mom would be comin’ down off of a week-long heroin bender, she’d eat candy-bars and cookies by the dozen.”
“It gets even worse, Faith.” Wesley interrupted. “When the darkness was suddenly forced to flee by Angel’s act of true friendship, you were left with a void . . . an empty space where the part of your soul was missing. It appears now that the darkness is trying to reclaim you, find its way back into the void, hence your nightmares and dreams. It’s trying to make you see your dark side and succumb to it, but you’re fighting, trying to stay on the right path. Therefore, it’s going to try to get back in by any means necessary.”
Buffy shook her head in disbelief. “Wait . . . I thought you said that the darkness or WHATEVER was forced to flee when Angel showed that he cared. Even if it wanted to come back, how could it if it doesn’t have a driving force behind it?” She asked, sounding very frustrated.
“A curse . . .” Willow muttered under her breath, not even aware that she had said the words aloud.
“What?!?” came from the mouths of several people in the room.
Willow shook her head as if she was startled out of a daydream, and then a look came across her face as if she had realized something.
“It’s a curse!! It’s a Trivudian Control Spell laced with a curse . . . it’s no wonder that I couldn’t figure it out, it’s two things combined into one. I was only able to see one side of it. It’s like trying to see half of an equation: it doesn’t make sense unless you can see both sides. But,” she paused and a grim look crossed her face, “oh boy, I think things just took another turn for the worse.”
“Oh joy.” Faith said as she sighed and sunk even lower into the couch.
“So, okay, it’s a curse. What does that mean for us, Will?” Buffy asked.
“Buff . . . it’s a curse, meaning . . . no one can remove it, save for the person who put it on her in the first place. The Mayor was really smart when he used that spell. He made it so that it would keep working even if he wasn’t there to control it. Basically, the dark magic is going to keep working until it wins out.” Willow explained, a hint of defeat in her voice.
Faith sighed even louder. “I repeat: Oh joy. Can’t the convicted felon catch a break here?” She let go of Buffy’s hand and put her hands behind her head, resting back against the couch. She turned her eyes up towards the center of the ceiling and kept the focused there, hoping to stop the tears that were threatening to spill.
“W-willow, I d-don’t think that’s entirely true.” Tara said shyly from the other side of the room. All eyes turned in her direction. “There are two things that c-could happen here. The f-first one . . . well, there’s no happy ending: the darkness finds a w-way back inside or it kills her trying. Second . . . the c-curse is broken. As it said, ‘only love can cure.’ There’s still hope.” She explained with an encouraging smile.
Giles took off his glasses and rubbed them with his shirt, a look of concentration on his face. “Perhaps it requires a declaration of love.”
“Well, let’s put that little theory of yours into motion.” Xander answered. He hopped up from his seat and walked to the middle of the room. With his arms raised up into a ‘V’ shape, he loudly boasted, “I love you, Faith” with a goofy smile on his face. He spun around a little as if to announce it to everyone in the room.
“Hey!” Anya pouted from the corner.
The rest of the room remained quiet, everyone looking around to see if his words had caused any effects. After a few moments passed and nothing happened, Xander threw up his arms in defeat.
“Guess we can rule that out. Sorry Faith. Can’t say I didn’t try.” He shot her an apologetic smile before walking back over to his seat near Anya, who was doing her best to ignore him.
“Thanks, Xan-man. The gesture doesn’t go unnoticed.” Faith replied.
The group went silent again, pondering what else ‘only love can cure’ could mean. A few people mumbled under their breath, trying unsuccessfully to work things out in their heads.
“Perhaps it requires an ‘act’ of love rather than a declaration of it. Just like what Angel did in the alley; he could have simply said ‘I’m your friend,’ but he knew that wasn’t enough. Instead, he tried to show her. He wouldn’t fight back, he talked her down, and then he just held her.” Wesley explained.
The room lit up and everyone began speaking at once, trying to make sense of what Wesley had just said.
“So . . . what then? Faith and someone need to make with the lovin’?” Cordelia asked. “Talk about sexual healing. Literally.”
“Oh sure.” Angel muttered under his breath, a pout on his face. “Sex cures Faith, but it turns me all grrr and argh. Why couldn’t all curses be cured like that?”
“Wait a soddin’ minute here . . . are you saying that a little bit of the rough ‘n tumble is the answer to your girl's problems?” Spike asked. “Well then sign me up. I’ll take the bird out for a spin if it’ll help, ‘cause the lot of you know that I’m all about the helping these days.” A wicked grin was spread across his face.
“Aha! So, the next time that Xander tells me that sex is not the answer, I can tell him that he’s wrong, right?” Anya asked.
“No, Ahn, sex isn’t the answer. It’s the question. The answer is ‘yes’.” Xander goofed.
“Spike, you are not having sex with Faith. Get that idea out of your head before I kick it out for you.” Buffy said while giving Spike a death glare.
“Hey! If I’m getting’ my nasty on, I’m choosin’ my own dance partner.” Faith said from the couch with a hint of both excitement and annoyance in her voice.
“Yuck. If any of you start having sex in this house, I’m turning myself in to social services.” Dawn complained.
“I guess my mom was wrong when she said that sex wasn’t the answer to life’s problems.” Willow commented.
They all began talking over one another, their words getting louder and more jumbled as the moments passed.
Finally, Giles had enough.
“Children, please!!”
The room once again turned silent, leaving most of the group feeling a little embarrassed about their little ‘outburst.’
Giles continued.
“I believe that in this case, sex is not the answer, thank you very much.” Anya once again pouted from the corner. He paused for a moment, then continued. “As most of you are aware, sex does not always equal love. If an act of love is required for this, it would have to be something extreme, monumental. Perhaps a heroic act, perhaps the giving of mind, body, and soul. In either case, we still don’t know enough about it to make such assumptions.
“I agree.” Wesley spoke up again. “I believe that more research is in order. Angel, perhaps you and Spike can look for any remaining associates of the Mayor tonight and try to get up some more information. We’ll take anything at this point.”
Angel nodded, as did Spike. Although the two had a hard time getting along, they knew that they had to put aside their differences yet again for the greater good.
“I have to make a few phone calls to LA and make sure things are in order there before I go out tonight. Do you guys mind if I take over the basement as my workspace for awhile?” Angel asked.
“Not at all Angel, you know that my house is your house.” Buffy answered.
“Great, thanks Buffy.” He turned to Cordelia. “Do you want to help me out? If Gunn is having any trouble with your filing system, maybe you can talk him through, make some sense of it.”
Cordelia nodded her head and headed with Angel to the basement.
Willow, Tara, Wesley and Giles headed into the dining room where the majority of their books and research material were laid out. They dove right back into their research without another word.
Xander and Anya decided to take Dawn to the movies and to dinner just to get her out of the house for awhile. They agreed to be back before dark, just to be on the safe side.
After all was said and done, Buffy and Faith were the only two people left in the living room. A semi-awkward silence filled the air as the two girls sat next to one another, neither knowing exactly what to say or do next.
“So . . . .” Buffy hedged.
“So . . . . yeah.” Faith responded.
“You wanna go sit out on the back porch? Get some sun on that pasty hide of yours?” Buffy asked as she stood up from the couch and held her arm out to the other girl.
“Yeah, sure.” Faith responded as she lifted herself off of the couch. She interlocked her arm with Buffy’s and the two girls made their way out the kitchen door and onto two chairs that were on the back porch.
A few moments of silence passed. Both girls remained sitting next to one other on the porch, but they avoided making eye contact.
Faith sighed. “Why is this so fuckin’ awkward? I was kinda hopin’ that we were past the whole ‘awkward silences’ and 'mixed signals' part of our relationship.”
Buffy drew in a deep breath. “I don’t know why. I thought we left all of that in the past too. I guess I just don’t know what to say right now. There’s so much to take in.”
“Yeah.” Faith exhaled. A smirk crept over her face. “But hey, at least I might get a little bit of lovin’ outta the whole deal. I can think of worse things.”
Buffy laughed.
“I guess that part of you will never change, Faith. Just the thought of getting a little action puts a smile on your face.”
The two girls giggled a bit before settling back down to a more comfortable silence.
Suddenly, and ever-so-subtly, Buffy leaned over towards Faith and began to speak in a quiet voice, almost as if she were telling a secret.
“So, speaking of ‘getting a little action,’ what are you gonna do if that’s actually what it takes? I mean, I know Giles said that probably wasn’t the answer, but still . . . I know we’re all probably thinking about it a little.” She had a shy smile on her face as she spoke.
Faith just shook her head a little, feeling somewhat uncomfortable with where the conversation seemed to be heading.
“I don’t know, B. Guess I really don’t wanna think about it unless that’s what it comes down to.” She lied. ‘Of course I’m thinking about it. Here I am, sitting directly next to the person I love, and there’s talk of sex. Duh . . . what else do you possibly think I could be thinkin’ about right now?’
‘Oh god . . . she’s givin’ me a strange look. I must have a weird look on my face too. Shit! She must know I’m thinkin’ about sex. Okay, stop thinkin’ about sex, Faith. Sex. Stop it! Sex. Cut it out! Sex with Buffy. Quit thinkin’ about sex! Geez, Faith!! One-track mind much?’
Buffy just watched in amusement as Faith seemed to be having some sort of internal struggle. She finally let out a chuckle, which brought Faith out of her thoughts.
“What was that all about, Faith? You can’t tell me that you’re not thinking about it. I can tell that you are. You look . . . guilty. So, come on. Give it up.”
“What?” Faith asked, not sure what Buffy was asking.
“Give it up, Faith. I know you’re thinking about sex. Now, I wanna know who’s on the top of your list if that’s what it comes down to. So, come on. No holding back. Oh . . . and no lying, I can tell when you lie. Your left eyebrow twitches.”
“Again, I repeat: what?” Faith asked, subconsciously raising her hand to touch her left eyebrow.
Buffy laughed again. “Okay Miss Attention Span, I’ll break it down for you again. If it comes down to ‘the having of the sex’, who are you gonna pick? There’s a fine buffet of gentlemen here for you to pick from.”
Faith hesitated. “Uhh, B, I don’t think I wanna answer that.”
“Why not? I thought we agreed to start over with each other. That means no secrets, no lies, and no holding back. I won’t get mad, I promise.” She smiled as to encourage Faith.
“B, it’s a little awkward for me to talk about this with you. I know we started over, but this may introduce a whole new awkward aspect into the scheme of things that I don’t think any of us are ready to deal with.”
Buffy remained silent for a minute as she stared at Faith, trying to figure out what she was trying to hide. Finally, she broke her silence.
“I’ve got it figured out. You’d pick Angel.”
“No, B, that’s . . .”
“It’s okay, Faith. I’m not mad. Angel and I are only friends. I can deal.” She turned her eyes away from the other girl.
“B, listen to me. It’s not . . .”
“Faith, I told you not to lie, and I respect that. I just have to wonder . . . I don’t know if Angel can ‘do it’ or not, with the whole ‘perfect happiness’ clause of the soul thing. We might have to check into . . .”
“Buffy!” Faith interrupted, finally having enough. “I’m trying to be honest here with you, just like you asked. If you really wanna know who I’d pick, I’ll tell ya. It’s not Angel.”
She paused and took a deep breath before continuing.
“It’s you, Buffy. It’s you.”
Buffy sat quietly in her chair, replaying the words that Faith had said over and over in her mind. She kept her eyes fixed straight ahead of her to some point in the back yard. The look on her face was a cross between shock and confusion.
After about two minutes of silence, she took a sideways glance at Faith and noticed that the other girl was anxiously staring at her, obviously waiting for some type of response.
The older Slayer knew that she had to say something, but she wasn’t sure what. ‘Is she messing with me? Is this just a sex thing? Or is it something else? . . . oh god . . . what if it’s something else?’ She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
After seeing the older girl struggle with her thoughts, Faith finally spoke up.
“Buffy, I’m not askin’ for anything here, and I’m not tryin’ to mess around with ya either. You told me not to lie, and I figured that I owed you at least that much. If it’s honesty that you want from me, that’s what you’re gonna get.”
The blonde sat quietly for another moment before finally lifting her eyes towards Faith and speaking. “So . . . what does that mean? Is it just a sex thing for you?”
“No!” Faith answered quickly. She grinned a little and said, “Well, I think that now we both know that I wouldn’t mind a little lovin’ from ya . . .” to which Buffy visibly tensed, so Faith quickly added, “. . . BUT, that’s beside the point. It’s not just a sex thing. It’s kinda . . . more of a heart thing.”
She braced herself waiting for the other girl's reaction.
Buffy’s eyes had gotten wide and had quickly returned to staring into the back yard. Her body still tense, she began to chew on her bottom lip a little. ‘Wait a minute . . . a heart thing? Does she love . . . how . . . what . . .