Through You
by Elegy
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Faith, Buffy and all other characters belong to Joss
Whedon, WB, etc. I own nothing, except for my passion for Faith.
Spoilers: This story takes place after the fourth season.
Author's Notes: This is a sort of poem with Faith's POV about Buffy. Big
thanks to my favorite beta-reader Miss Kitty.
Feedback: Yes, please!
I'd like to stick this knife in your guts like you plunged it inside me I'd like you to feel the blade penetrating you and freezing you I'd like you to feel the time stop and your heart paralize I'd like you to see in my eyes what I saw in your eyes Treachery. Pain. Relief. Regret. I'd like to see you falling down from this cursed roof I'd like you to live these months of endless sleep All this time lost for nothing, for him, for me Because in that instant you had finally joined me In the abyss of my veiled bloody rage In the despair of never living for anyone In the bitter awareness of being nothing Because you had come to my side That you had shared my violence and my madness In that instant when the cold overwhelmed me In that painful pleasure of feeling you touch me We had shared this moment when we fall into the confines of darkness The passage to the foulness of the mind You think that you lost your innocence, your purity next to me I only revealed what you already had in you A Slayer is never innocent She tracks, she strikes, she kills And she starts again and again Because it's her ineluctable and tragic destiny Because she's the Chosen one You thought that you could escape from this shady power The pleasure you feel when you fight When your stake turns evil into dust When your sword slices monstruous heads When you had plunged this blade into me You loved to do it and you'll want to do it again, indefinitely Not because it's your duty or because you have to save the world once again But because you like to kill What is the difference between us and the monsters we slay? We are predators, blood turns us on You could deny it but you know that, you saw it in me, you tried to flee from it But instinct will catch you again, already caught you You think you are indispensable, invincible But we are replaceable, indefinitely When one dies, another rises Like our endless fight A vampire disappears and ten others appear You have never listened to me You have never wanted to see what I really had in my heart You caught a glimpse of it and you were afraid Like an animal, fear made you aggressive You feared what you guessed in me You were scared of resemblance, you clung to differences You could not face the truth Because it's you that you saw in me I'm your dark double, your carnal negative, the awakening of your flesh So you preferred to destroy me You ignored my feelings, hid the desire I inspired you You rejected me because I represented danger The danger of the questioning The danger of violent passion The danger of the intoxication of the senses You froze in your image, in your role I am the movement, I am the unpredictable You are immobile and vulnerable People always said you were the strongest, the best one But you know it's wrong You know it's me You understood it that day on the roof You knew it when you saw my blood on your hands That blood that I would have given to you if you had asked me You think you are above evil forces You thought that you could not be corrupted But you already lived in the shadow of a vampire A vampire who devoured your vital energy By offering your blood you were already lost, perverted By taking my blood you were definitely converted And when I was in your body, I knew I knew that I was not mistaken I knew you more intimately than if I had fucked you I knew what you felt I knew what it meant to be you Like you knew what it was to be me And what frightened you the most Was not to have lost your body It was to realize that what you saw in me It was you I am your distorting mirror, I am the reflect of your animal urges I'm you You're my sister, my lover and my creator I'm your perfect double, similar and opposed Night and day Evil and good Violence and sweetness Light and darkness I knew that you loved me I knew that you hated me I removed the veil of your blindness But you never could face your own contradictions You froze in your role Infinitely predictable I am the movement, I am your catharsis I'd like you to have opened your eyes I'd like you to see the scar of my tortured self I'd like you to feel the pain of being alone I'd like you to understand what you have lost I'd like you to feel the blade of the betrayed love Thrusting in you more deeply than that you plunged in my body I'd like you to feel the ecstasy of pain As if it was my fingers that penetrated you Like I dreamt about it many times And like I know that you wanted it Finish us off in a perfect fusion I'd like you to cry in frustration Like you left me so often I'd like you to know the pain of being nothing I'd like you to die thinking of me I'd like you to suffer thinking of yourself I'd like you to look in that fucking mirror And see me at last Through you.