She Swings That Way
by Eve
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Joss owns it all, ME, Fox, WB, whoever. Pretty much anyone that's
*not* me owns it. I just bend them and twist them into naughty shapes.
Spoilers: Anything before "Bad Girls", maybe?
Feedback: I crave it like ice cream at 3 A.M. Email me. Email...me...NOW.
So, what is the deal with Buffy? I mean, every now and then we'll be sitting in the library, supposedly doing research (but I just flip through the pages a lot..most of that stuff puts you to sleep faster than..well, whatever else we're supposed to be doing at school) and I'll feel her eyes on me. Every time I look up, she's just looking away. What does she want?
I mean, I know it's not my hot and sexy body, because although I'd definitely be interested, I don't think she swings that way. At least, I don't think she does. I just can't tell with this girl. Sometimes I think she'll be into me..really into me..and then all of a sudden, she'll start talking about some cute guy, or she'll lean back and give me this look, like, 'I know what you want, and you ain't getting it.'
Usually I'm the one giving that look. It's weird to be on the receiving end of it.
It's not like I'm completely new to the ways of women. Usually my gaydar is better than this..not that I've given up on guys altogether. But I'm not averse to a little f/f time, y'know? And I've found that most girls, no matter what they say, feel the same way I do..nothing wrong with a little femme nookie from time to time.
I just don't know if Buffy's one of those girls or not. And I *really* wanna know if she swings that way. I've never really cared before, because for every girl that won't, there's one..or three..that will. But I'm really curious. Maybe it's because we're both bad-ass Slayers, and I know she can give as good as I can in a fight. I bet she'd bring all that Slayer action to the bedroom. All wild and angry and sweaty and..
Damn! She makes me so hot!
Faith started guiltily, sensing Buffy's eyes on her. She sat up abruptly and hunched over her book.
"Hey, Giles," Buffy said, "how about Faith and I going on patrol for a while? Just to see if anything new comes up?" Without waiting for a response, she grabbed Faith's hand and practically ran out of the library. Faith ran with her, too stunned to speak.
"So," Buffy said, twirling her stake in her fingers, "slow night."
"Uh..yeah," Faith mumbled. Good response, idiot.
"Faith," Buffy said softly, coming to a halt in front of her, "is something wrong?"
Faith stared into Buffy's eyes, mesmerized. She was so gorgeous..her eyes wide open and completely innocent. She was chewing on her lower lip in concentration, waiting for Faith's answer. Faith took a step closer without realizing it.
"N-no," Faith hedged, backing away. "Nothing."
"You know you can tell me," Buffy said, putting a hand on Faith's arm. "You can tell me anything."
"So, what's the deal with the yogurt?"
Buffy blinked. "Huh?"
Faith grinned. "You telling me after a night of slaying, and kicking ass, you can kick back with a yogurt and call it a good night?"
Buffy blushed. "Well..I mean, sometimes I'm wound up a little, but.."
"Oh, yeah?" Faith teased. "And what do you do when you're all wound up?"
Buffy laughed. "Wouldn't you like to know?" she teased.
"Yeah," Faith said huskily, "I would like to know."
Buffy looked at Faith, quickly looking away. "Um..well, Faith?"
"Forget it," Faith snapped. "C'mon, let's get this over with so you can go home." She strode off through the cemetery.
Buffy sighed, taking off after her.
The next night of patrol was quiet. Buffy attempted conversation a few times, but Faith only gave terse replies. Finally, Buffy snapped, "What's with you tonight?"
"Me?" Faith asked, incredulous.
"Yes, you!" Buffy insisted, putting her hands on her hips. "You're all pissed off or something. What's your deal?"
"My deal?"
"Don't..don't repeat everything I say, damnit! What's your problem, Faith?"
"You've got to be kidding me," Faith said, looking at the sky.
"I mean it! You're pissing me off!"
"I'm pissing you off? How about you? What about you, princess?" Faith yelled.
Buffy frowned. "What did I do?"
"Oh, nothing. Nothing at all." Faith turned to walk away.
"Oh, no, you don't," Buffy insisted, grabbing her arm. "Tell me what your problem is."
Faith whirled around, facing Buffy. "My problem is that I have a stuck-up, blonde Slayer in my face all the time! A Slayer that's batting her eyes at me one minute and freezing me out the next! A Slayer that's sending one hell of a mixed signal, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it!"
Buffy dropped Faith's arm. "I..I don't..what are you talking about?" she spluttered.
"I'm talking about you, Buffy? Are you interested or what? Because you act like you are, and then you back off. It's driving me crazy here!"
"I..well, I mean..Angel.."
"Fuck Angel!" Faith exploded.
Buffy grinned. "I already did that, remember?" They both laughed. Buffy sighed, leaning against a tombstone. "So..are you..gay?" she asked shyly.
Faith laughed. "That's so cute!.. 'Are you..gay?'" she mimicked.
"Fa-aith!"
"Just teasin'. No, I'm just..I guess I swing both ways, y'know?" She paused. "What about you?"
"Oh, I've never..done..stuff..with a girl," Buffy assured her.
Faith leaned into Buffy. "Do you want to?"
She half expected Buffy to push her off, or crack a joke, but all she heard was Buffy's breathing. Was it her imagination, or was she breathing heavier than usual? Finally, Buffy said in a small voice, "I don't know."
Faith waiting, dry-mouthed, for her to say something else. Silence.
"Buffy?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you want to..with me?"
Silence.
"Buffy?"
Suddenly, Buffy launched herself at Faith, grabbing her by the shoulders, and lowering her mouth on hers. Faith struggled to remain upright, and failed, falling heavily to the ground, with Buffy landing on top of her. Buffy didn't seem to notice, as she pressed closed-mouth kisses against Faith's lips, still puckered in surprise. She was like a frantic little puppy-dog, landing kisses anywhere she could reach..Faith's mouth, neck, collarbone. While part of Faith was enjoying the attention, another part of her gently pushed Buffy to a sitting position so she could get up.
"Wow," Faith said weakly. "Should I take that as a yes?"
To her surprise, she saw tears start to fill Buffy's eyes. "Fuck you!" she spat out, springing to her feet and running away.
"Buffy!" Faith yelled. "Wait! I.." She took off running after the blonde, but stopped after a few yards. What the hell? She sighed, making her way through the graveyard.
The next day, Buffy was cold and extremely polite to Faith. Several times during school, Faith tried to draw Buffy aside, but each time, she ignored Faith and walked off.
By the end of the day, Faith was starting to get pissed. She hadn't done anything wrong! What the hell was her problem? "Buffy!" she called out, spotting Buffy at the front door of the library, talking to Willow. "Wait a minute!"
Buffy reluctantly said goodbye to Willow and turned to Faith. "What do you want?" she hissed. "Come to laugh at me again?"
Faith was genuinely puzzled. "Laugh at you?" she said. "I wasn't laughing at you!"
"Yes you were!" cried Buffy. "I was there! You were laughing at me!"
Faith sighed. "Buffy," she said patiently. "I wasn't laughing at you. I was laughing because I thought it was cute, what you did."
Buffy stamped her foot in frustration. Faith choked back a giggle. "Look, B...what are you, 12? So, I thought you were cute. Still do, as a matter of fact." She paused. "That is, when you're not bein' mad at me." She looked at Buffy out of the corner of her eye. "Still mad at me?"
She could see Buffy's features softening. "Well.."
"C'mon," Faith said, grabbing her hand. "Let's go."
"B-but..Giles..research.."
"C'mon, B!" Faith urged, stopping and frowning at Buffy. "Live dangerously for once!"
Buffy paused. "I do live dangerously. Hello, Slayer?"
Faith rolled her eyes. "No, the fun kind of dangerous. You up for it?"
"Um.."
"I should have known you wouldn't be. Miss Goody-Goody like you, isn't up for anything," Faith muttered.
Buffy's eyes flashed. "I'm up for anything you got to offer, F," she said angrily.
Faith grinned. "Anything?"
"I don't really think this is the right look for me," Buffy said, staring at the mirror. She was wearing one of Faith's leather halter tops and skintight pants.
"Why not?" Faith asked absently, tugging at her black tank top.
"Um..how can I put this nicely? Slutwear isn't really my thing. It may look great on you, but on me.."
"Does it?" Faith asked, looking up.
"Does it what?"
"Does it look great on me?"
Buffy blushed. "Well..yeah."
"I think you would."
"I would what?"
Faith took several steps forward until she had Buffy pinned against the wall. "You would," she said, her mouth near Buffy's ear. "Look great on me."
Buffy could barely breathe. The room had suddenly turned very quiet..and hot.
As quickly as it had begun, it was over. Faith spun around and looked at herself in the mirror, seemingly unconcerned with the fact that Buffy had damn near melted all over the motel floor. "Do you think I should wear the black or the brown shirt?"
"H-huh?"
Faith smiled. "The black or the brown?"
"The..what?"
"Never mind, B. Let's bail."
"What is this place?" Buffy yelled. She'd been doing a lot of yelling since they entered the club an hour ago. The music was loud and heavy, pulsing through Buffy's head. She fumbled in her pockets for an aspirin before remembering these were Faith's pants..and they were practically too tight to even put her hands in, much less carry an aspirin bottle. She sighed.
"Like I told you, Buff..It's the other club in Sunnydale," Faith yelled over the music. She leaned against the counter, occasionally drinking from a (not so clean) glass of unidentifiable liquid, although Buffy suspected it was whiskey. Buffy hadn't ordered anything to drink..she was too busy being horrified. This was not her scene. Not at all.
"For Christ's sake, B...relax, already! Just lighten up! Here," Faith said, putting her glass on the counter and extending her hand, "let's dance."
"H-here? Together?" Buffy squeaked, wishing she didn't feel so awkward.
Faith groaned. "No, stupid. Tomorrow, and apart." She shook her hand impatiently. "Come on, already!"
Without thinking about it, Buffy took Faith's hand. It was warm, and familiar. Buffy felt herself relax.
As Faith led her through the crowd of people, the loud, fast song suddenly ended, and a slower one started to play. Before Buffy could protest, Faith draped one arm over her shoulder, and put the other around her waist, drawing her close. Buffy stiffened, then lay her head tentatively on Faith's shoulder. The two of them rocked slowly in time to the music.
Without even thinking about it, Buffy put her arms around Faith's waist. One hand found her hip, while the other stroked small circles on her lower back. She could feel Faith's breath against her cheek, could almost hear her heartbeat. Faith pulled her even closer as Buffy moved her face so that it lay against Faith's neck.
"Buffy.." Faith's voice was a question.
"Faith," Buffy breathed, the air tickling Faith's neck, causing her to shiver.
Faith grabbed Buffy's face in both her hands, her eyes searching Buffy's desperately. Both girls stood silently on the dance floor, staring at each other. Wordlessly, Buffy nodded.
"Let's get outta here," Faith whispered. Without a word, Buffy turned and headed toward the door. Faith followed her, a million-dollar smile on her face.
They barely made it back to the motel. Buffy and Faith shared their first (mutual) kiss in an alley outside the club—they just couldn't wait. Buffy threw Faith against the brick with a force that would have hurt a normal girl. She threw herself next, fitting her body into Faith's, hands exploring under her shirt, lips dancing along her jawbone. Faith grabbed the back of Buffy's head and pulled her into a kiss, lips open, tongues seeking, thrusting. Somehow they rolled until Buffy was the one against the wall. She whimpered, as one of her legs curved itself around Faith's thigh and her arms tried to pull Faith even closer to her—an impossibility, since they were already pressed against each other.
Faith finally managed to pull free, gasping for air.
"Home," she managed. "Now."
They ran back to the motel, hand in hand, giggling like—well, like teenagers. Luckily, it wasn't far. Even so, they had to stop two more times before they made it back to Faith's room. By then, there was no stopping them.
Buffy was squirming out of her pants by the time Faith closed the door. She ripped off the leather halter top, tearing a strap.
"Hey!" Faith objected. "I liked that one!"
Buffy rolled her eyes. "I'll buy you a new one," she said. Clad in only a bra and panties, she glared at Faith. "Clothes. Off," she demanded.
Faith smiled and slowly started to remove her shoes. She untied the laces of one boot and stretched before starting on the other.
Buffy tackled her, throwing her on to the bed. Faith shrieked as Buffy unzipped her pants and shimmied them off her. She then pulled the tank top off, with Faith barely having enough time to raise her arms or risk having the shirt ripped off her.
"Jesus, B, you're a wild one—" she managed to say before Buffy's mouth found hers. There were hands everywhere—at least two of them were hers, Faith realized fuzzily. Somehow, they were naked— where were their underwear? Who cared? Lips and breasts with dark pink nipples. Buffy's back arched as she choked back a scream. Fingers dancing along Faith's stomach, drifting lower, touching, stroking, pushing, fingers. Tongue replacing fingers—"Oh, jeeesus— BUFFY!"—kisses. Rubbing, touching, kissing, licking, sucking, feeling, wet, naked, everything.
"I think I understand why people smoke after sex," Buffy said wearily, turning over on her side.
"Want one?"
Buffy wrinkled her nose. "Ewww, yuck. No."
"Good," Faith said faintly. "'Cause they're in my jacket pocket, and there's no way I'm ever leavin' this bed again. This is it."
Buffy sighed happily. "Wow. I didn't know that—you know—"
"Sex, B? If you have it, you can say it."
"—was so…wow. And even without the penis, too!"
Faith hit her with a pillow. "Bitch!"
Buffy giggled. Faith sat up abruptly, pinning Buffy to the mattress.
"I'll show you something better," she whispered, sticking out her tongue.
"Oh, God—Faith—not again—"
"Want me to stop?" Faith asked, her lips an inch away from Buffy's stomach.
Buffy just moaned and pushed her face against her navel.
"Didn't think so," Faith whispered, placing a kiss on her stomach before seeking more interesting things.
Faith strolled into the library after school. Her smile was so big, it felt like her face would break in half.
"What's with the happy?" Xander asked, grinning.
She hugged him—she felt so good today! "No big," she said, flashing him a smile. "Just happy. Good day for it."
"Hey, I have no problems with it," he said, holding up his hands. "This is much better than moody, pissed-off Faith." He lowered his voice. "Or the Faith that kicks me out of hotel rooms—"
"Hey!" she whispered, her good mood forgotten. "Let's drop the one-forgettable-night-of-lust talk, ok?"
He looked hurt, and she felt a little guilty. But only a little. "Sorry, Xand," she said. "But—hey, it was just one of those things, y'know?"
He smiled weakly. "Yeah, no biggie."
She patted his shoulder reassuringly before looking around the library. Willow and Oz were cuddled up in a corner. She could hear Giles moving some books or something…but where was Buffy?
"Hey, Xan-man—where's Buffy?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. I saw her earlier, talking to Angel."
Faith scowled. "Angel was here? B-but it's not dark yet. Couldn't have been him."
"Hence the smoking blanket. Must have been pretty important for him to risk the burning and potential dustiness."
Faith turned and ran out of the library. She turned down the hallway, and stopped short and seeing Buffy and Angel locked together. In the darkness of the hallway, she could barely see them holding on to each other. Then Angel lowered his face to Buffy's.
Faith couldn't take it. She choked back a scream. The noise was enough to cause the two to look up and see her, standing alone and lost at the end of the hall.
"Faith!" Buffy cried. She took a step towards her.
Faith ran.
Faith could still hear Buffy screaming her name as she ran blindly through the halls. She flew through the door and made it down the steps when she was tackled from behind. Both girls gasped at the pain of hitting concrete.
"Dammit, Buffy!" Faith said weakly. She was laying on her stomach. Buffy had rolled over and was on her back. "What's with you always jumping on me?"
Buffy rolled on her side, facing Faith. "As I remember, sometimes you like it when I tackle you."
Both girls blushed. Then Faith frowned. "But it's never enough, right? I mean, I'm not Angel or anything." She stood up angrily, dusting herself off. "You can't do the nasty with Angel, so I'm your sex substitute, right?"
Buffy stood up, mouth hanging open. "Faith?"
Faith help up one hand. "Screw this, B. I'm not here to get you off when you need it? I'm not your personal vibrator or something. If you want the vamp, go be with the vamp. But don't screw me around at the same time." She turned to leave.
"Faith!"
She kept walking.
"I didn't do anything with Angel. Faith! I didn't!"
Faith paused. "Well, I kinda figured, what with regular gloom and doom. Angelus is usually a lot more interesting." She looked over her shoulder at Buffy and sighed. Slowly, she turned around to face her. "I guess this is the part where I'm mature and ask what you two were really talking about."
Buffy took a few steps toward Faith. "He just wanted to see how I was doing. If I'd come across anything new in patrol, anything vamp-or-demon-or apocalypse-y related."
Faith was still. "That's all? He risked painful, sunlight-related death for that?"
Buffy nodded. "That's all." She smiled. "I mean, hello! Me plus Angel equals bad, evil things. I mean?" her voice softened, "it's not like I never loved him or anything, but...it just wasn't meant to be, I guess."
Faith stretched her arms behind her back casually. Inside she felt lighter, and a lot happier. She shrugged. "So? Did you tell him about us?"
Buffy faked awe. "And break his undead heart? No way!" She ran up to Faith and hugged her happily. Faith returned the hug, idly wondering why Buffy hadn't said anything to Angel.
**Faith's POV**
These past few days have been great. Really great. Buffy and I just need to get over our impulsiveness, our tendency to jump to conclusions. But, hey—we're teenagers. Isn't that what teenagers are supposed to do? But I'm really happy—and it kinda scares me. Happy is temporary, sometimes. Well, most of the time. And now I'm babbling like the redhead. Shut up, Faith.
I leaned back and waited for Buffy. Willow looked over at me and smirked. I glared at her. "Somethin' funny?"
She held up her hands. "Not at all." She started to smile. "It's just…cute."
I stood up hastily. "Cute? What's cute?"
She was trying to hold back the giggles, she really was. "You and B-buffy." She was going to blow…
I'm not the girly-girl type, but I giggled right along with her. "Yeah," I said, with that huge grin on my face that had seemed to take up permanent residence, "she's something, isn't she?"
Willow rolled her eyes. "Well, I wouldn't know…not like that…"
"WILLOW!"
This felt good. The redhead and I had never really talked before, much less joked around. This was nice. This was belonging. Weird.
I leaned in towards her. "So…does everyone know about…uh…me and B?"
Willow chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully. "Pretty much," she finally said. "'Cept Xander. He's kinda clueless when it comes to the gaydar thing. Although I'm sure he'd be thrilled to find out that two of the femmes in our little gang were—" she paused, eyeing my wickedly "—in loooooove."
I groaned, both at Willow's bad dramatics and Xander's cluelessness. How long before he let it spill about our not-so-romantic night together? No way Buffy'd ever understand that.
Or Willow. Hell, any of them. It was just…something that happened. A post slay-reaction. No big deal.
**Buffy's POV**
"So, it's no big deal, Xander," I said cheerfully.
Xander's mouth was still hanging open in shock. "N-no big deal?" he stuttered. "One of my best friends—the Buffster—has switched teams and she didn't even think to tell me?"
I sighed. "I haven't 'switched teams', Xander. I'm still me, still Buffy, still into guys. I just…like Faith, too. It's no big."
"So, you guys aren't going to be man-hating lesbians, then? 'Cause, that would be…well, it would be kinda hot, but awful at the same time."
Rolling my eyes, I started to say, "Xand—"
"But I know Faith's not gay," he continued thoughtfully, "so…" he paused and looked at me sheepishly. "Sorry, Buffy," he said, embarrassed. "Just thinking out loud." He leaned down and hugged me. "I love ya no matter who you're with."
I returned the hug happily. "Thanks," I said, brushing back a lock of hair. Then I frowned. "How come you thought I was gay, and you're sure Faith's not? You saying I'm more butch than Faith or something?"
He laughed. "No way! It's just that I…" he stopped, staring at the floor. Uh-oh.
"Xander," I said softly, "what's going on that I don't know about?"
He laughed weakly. "You should talk! What with the whole Buffy/Faith thing going on for the past few days…maybe I should go get something to eat…" He turned to walk (run) away. I grabbed his arm. He winced.
"Xander," I said with patience I didn't feel, "we just ate an hour ago. Now, what's going on?"
"Growing boy," he protested, "gotta eat?"
I gripped his arm harder.
"Ow! Ok, ok! Fine! No more of the superpowered arm-breakage, ok?"
"YOU SLEPT WITH XANDER?"
I rubbed my ear. Standing over me was an absolutely furious Buffy. God, she's hot when she's angry.
"Well?" she demanded, towering over me.
I shrugged. "It wasn't anything serious."
"Serious enough for you to tell him NOT to tell me?"
"Wonder why I told him that?" I snapped. "Oh, yeah, because I thought you'd overreact!"
"I can't believe you'd keep something that big a secret from me!"
"And I can't believe you haven't told your ex-vampire about us!" I shot back.
I vaguely noticed that everyone had cleared out of the library. Buffy looked at the floor.
"Y'know," I said, getting up and pacing, "Willow figured it out on her own. I'm guessing Xander did, too—because lord knows you weren't planning on saying a word." I mimicked Buffy's voice. "'Oh, Faithy, let me tell them, I've known them longer and I can break it to them. I'll tell them soon, I swear. Isn't it fun having our little secret?'" I sighed. "'Break it to them'—isn't that what you do with bad news, B?" I leaned against the library counter, suddenly tired.
"Ok," Buffy said in a soft voice. "I guess I can see why you kept the Xander thing from me. I wish you'd told me, but—"
"Have you been listening to me?" I asked incredulously. "I slept with Xander. One night, one time, no big deal. You know how I operate—or used to, anyway. But I thought that you and me—well, that was supposed to mean something. It was important. And you didn't want to tell anybody."
My eyes were burning, but I wouldn't cry.
"Are you ashamed of being with another woman, Buffy? Or ashamed of being with me?"
I couldn't look at her. I wouldn't look at her. I ran away. Again. Seems all I ever do is run away.
Buffy's POV
She ran away from me. Again. Without giving me a chance to explain. Again. What is it with this girl? She trying out for the track team or something?
But, even if she had stuck around, what could I say? Yeah, she slept with my friend. But she slept with him before we were ever an item. And she told him not to tell me because she thought it might bother me. I can understand that—almost.
But me, I kept us from everyone. And she meant so much more to me than a one-night stand.
We can't keep doing this. There has to be some way to make this up, right?
Determined, I set off to find Angel.
Faith's POV
God, I'm an idiot. Walking through a graveyard, half-hoping that Buffy will find me here. Why can't I just talk to her like normal people? Couldn't take that emotional overload.
Why should she see me any different? I mean, that's how I've treated everyone before. Fuck 'em and leave 'em. Maybe she picked up that vibe and that's all she wants from me. Turnabout is fair play, right?
I wonder did it feel like this for everyone I kicked out of my room, post-sex. Because this feeling sucks.
Buffy's POV
Finally! There she is! My Faith, so predictable. Wandering through a graveyard, hoping I'll find her. That's cute, in a kinda macabre sort of way.
"Faaaaaith!"
She looks up at me. She starts to smile, and then shakes her head. I walk up to her, hopefully.
"Buffy, I—"
"Shh," I say, putting my finger against her lips. "No talk. Come with me."
And for once, she does as I say, letting me lead her through the graveyard. We turn a corner and—
There's everyone. Willow, Xander, Angel—with a groan, I notice that even my mom's here…who told her?—Giles, Oz—the whole gang. I sneak a look at Faith. Her face is one big question mark. I stifle a giggle.
"Faith," I say, facing her, "I'm so, so sorry for all the fighting and secrets. Everyone we know is here, and everyone we know knows how I feel about you." I pause, looking at her face. Complete blank. Not good.
I take a deep breath. "I love you, Faith. And…I'm sorry about not telling everyone that I love you. And…" I'm running out of ammo here, "I love you? And…no more not telling people things? 'Cept for, you know, the personal things, that I'm not going to get into, 'cause, hello! Parental figures around! But I—"
"Wait! Stop!" Faith says. She's fighting a smile. She takes my hands in hers.
"I'm sorry about keeping secrets from you, too. Ok? No more secrets, right?"
My entire body relaxes. I didn't realize I was so tense until she gave me her answer.
"No more secrets, right, B?"
There's only one answer I can give her. I jump up into her arms. I can hear Xander and Willow laughing as we tumble to the ground.