All Hallows Eve: The Curse of the Vibrating Egg
by faith_b
Rating: NC-17

Author's Note: I have officially lost my pwp-fic-fest virginity! Lol, please do not take this as a serious fic-fest entry as there are so many great fics entered and I'm just having fun. But since I borrowed your idea, I thought I'd better plug the list. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PassionateOasis/ It's set in S6 but everyone's here. Buffy never died, Angel still went away (yay, you say?), Riley never happened (can I get an amen!), Dawn isn't here, neither is Spike and Faith never went psycho/killed Finch/switched bodies with Buffy/allied with the mayor/got a criminal record/had weird dreams about chasing Buffy through the rain and bloodying her sheets/went to LA/got imprisoned... I think you get it now...
Dedications: To Passionate Oasis (the reason I was able to lose my fic-fest virginity) and all the Halloween girl-ghouls and boy- goblins (and boy-ghouls and girl-goblins)...
Feedback: Or fairies will die.

+1=2=3=4+

~ PART 1 ~

"No, I will not keep it down!" Anya screamed. "Y'know I don't need you, Xander. I am perfectly capable of having orgasms ON MY OWN." The blonde stood up, angrily making her way out of the magic box.

Red-faced, Xander looked to the rest of the group. "There's no chance nobody heard that is there?" he tried.

"Dude, I think the whole of Sunnydale heard her," Faith answered, sniggering.

"You should go after her," Buffy suggested.

"Nah," the construction worker replied. "Give it a day and she'll change her mind. She can't resist the Xan-man."

*****

~ Xander's POV ~

"How long's it been?" Buffy asks me, waving at one of her college pals as she walks by our table on campus.

"Two weeks," I tell her. "She's really not budging on this one. I wouldn't mind because she was being really unreasonable, but I miss the sex."

"You really can't live without the sex," Willow agrees with me, looking up from her fat psych book.

I sigh. "She can. Girls have ways to."

Treading carefully, Buffy asks me, "But don't guys have ways to, too?"

Aw, Buffy is so cute sometimes. "Yeah, but it's not the same. You guys have all these gadgets and stuff. All we can really use is a tube of baby oil and-"

Buffy begs me to stop.

"So, what would you do?" I ask. It seems I need a woman's perspective on this one. Who better to decode Anya's double speak, than one gifted with the wisdom the XX chromosome supplies? Yes, I paid attention in Biology. We had this really hot teacher in high- school... But she was a praying mantis... Not that I'd say no to a little bug love right now...

"I would just talk to her," Buffy suggests. Hmmm. Seems that wisdom skipped my little blonde friend. Anya does not listen to talk, she listens to sex. We're not having sex, so she's not listening. Jeez, Buffy.

Next!

I nod, smile and look to Willow.

"I agree with Buffy," Willow says still reading. "Just talk to her." Seriously! Why do I even bother?

Yay! Faith's here, she'll know what to do. She's my cool closest- thing-I-have-to-an-actual-guy friend... Except for Oz.. But he's really quiet.

"'Sup?" she asks, squeezing onto the bench opposite me and next to Buffy, who shifts uncomfortably. Hmmm. Weird much? But Faith doesn't seem to notice and asks, "What's going on?" I go to answer, but then she turns to Buffy and tells her, "Oh, hey, I was thinking tonight I could bring a video home. What do you feel like?"

"I have a lot of work to catch up on," Buffy says, turning a different shade.

Hmmm... More weirdage... Buffy with work to catch up on? Buffy never does her work. If I didn't know any better, I'd say there was something weird going on... Wait, Faith's saying something.

"No big. It was just a thought."

"I'm free tonight!" Sure, now Willow's so chipper.

"Cool," Faith says. "You should come over. We can make a night of it."

Much as I'd love to listen to this, I have problems and I need help. "Faith, I'm glad you're here. It's been two weeks now and Anya's not returning my calls, what do you think I should do?"

Faith pauses to think about it. Then she says, "Try talkin' to her."

*****

"So what shall we say; shall we convene at six?" Giles asks.

"Six is great!" Willow answers, 'cause I'm pretty sure she was the only one who understood the question. "This is going to be the best Halloween party ever!"

"I dunno," Faith disagrees. "The G-man has pretty much done his best to kill it. No music, no dancing, no fun."

"I didn't say 'no music'," Giles corrects. "Just not the noise you kids like nowadays. I'll be picking the music. And you can dance. Just in an orderly, controlled fashion."

Buffy beats me to saying, "Translation; no music, no dancing, no fun."

"Would you rather, I hand over to someone else to do the organising?" Giles asks, as if that's a threat, but of course everyone nods. "Fine!" He says. "You can fight amongst yourselves." Giles leaves. He's pretty pissed. Oh well. I have other things to worry about. When are these guys going to leave?

"Okay, now that we can have a Halloween party that's actually a party," Buffy starts. "Who's in charge of what?"

"Looks like you fancy yourself in charge of everything," Faith remarks.

"Someone has to be," Buffy says back.

Oooh, chick fight!

"And why does that have to be you?" Faith throws a right hook.

"Who else would it be?" Buffy throws a left.

"Maybe someone who's not an uptight, spoilt brat." Oooh! A nasty uppercut from Faith.

Okay, so they're not really boxing, but the words are real; they're really laying into each other. So much so, Willow leaves.

"Now look what you've done!" Buffy tells Faith.

"I've done? You were the one being a controlling jerk-off."

Buffy shakes her head and leaves the store really mad. I'd go after her, but I have stuff.

It's just me and Faith left. This is awkward.

Faith's silent for a while. She finally decides, "This is wicked awkward."

I nod.

"Later, X," she says and then she leaves. Finally! Alone at last.

I run and turn the 'yes we're open sign' backwards, so it reads, 'sorry we're closed' if you're looking at it from the outside. Then I run to the book case and search it.

"The life of Rats. No. Spells for the soul. No. Mixing newts. Ugh! Latin for dummies. Might help. Common Incantations. Nope. Nudity through early Egypt. Oooh, maybe later. A-ha! Lust spells."

I thumb through the book to find the spell that I'd seen there the other day... Y'know these pages look a little worn.. Is this why Giles' got all those phone numbers? Re-focussing. Got it. I read the ingredients list and take all the stuff from the Magic Box shelves. Note to self: Pay Giles.

Okay, the book says I have to sit on the ground naked and cross- legged to do the chant, so I'm not just doing this for fun. I take all my clothes off.. Don't laugh - it's cold in here, okay?

"Oh Dion..ysus.. Dionysus, God of lust and debauchery, hear my cry," I read. "For I have been scorned by one of your own and seek the vengeance you have the power to bestow. Add the toe of pig!" Oh. I actually have to add the toe of pig here. Pigs have toes? How old is this book? I have to start again now!

"Sorry, Dionysus. Dionysus, God of lust and debauchery, hear my cry. For I have been scorned by one of your own and seek the vengeance you have the power to bestow. With these ingredients, I complete my offering to you, now you must oblige. With this object..." I rush to my bag and pull out the final, most special object. Now I have to improvise. "Er..With this object, the spell is complete! She shall know no rest until the object of her desire releases her from this curse... At midnight on Halloween," I add. Cool, huh? That'll teach Anya to mess with me! So, in it goes and afterwards there's a huge bang and hissing and all this smoke. I manically raise my hands as the sparks fly and weird light fills the room… There should be creepy music and lightning right about now.

Oh no! GILES!

"Xander do keep it down," Giles tells me coming out of the back room of the store, cleaning his glasses as he walks by.

~ PART 2 ~

~ Faith's POV ~

Argh! Buffy is so fucking annoying.

"Why d'you keep blowing me off?" I have to ask her when we enter the kitchen at her house. "God, why are you being such a fucking tease?!!"

"I don't," she answers, breezing past me and trying to busy herself with other things. "And I'm not."

"So what the hell do you call it?"

"I'm sorry," she says. She's trying to be cute. "I just got a little..."

"Horny," I complete for her.

"No."

"Do you usually jump people when you're not horny?"

"I didn't jump you!"

Yes she did!

"Er, you did."

"Okay. But you weren't exactly pushing me away."

She's nuts! "Why the hell would I? A beautiful girl throws herself at you; the last thing you do is push her away."

She's silent for a little while, then says, "You think I'm beautiful?" real quiet.

Haha. Like a moth to a wicked horny flame. "Yeah," I say all sincere. I take her hand and rub it real soft. Gotta hit the five senses, y'know. And it's working, 'cause her eyes are fluttering. "B."

"Yes."

"I really want you." And I do. I really want her. Like, bad.

"Faith we can't."

I don't understand this concept, so I pull her to me. "Can't what?"

"This."

"I can't hold you?" I ask, holding her.

She skips a breath. "Yes," she mouths.

I rub my face on hers and ask her, "Yes I can or yes I can't?"

She just repeats, "You can't." But really weakly. I'm not gonna let this go, so I ask,

"I can't what? Kiss you." See what I did there? I kiss her before she can answer the question and man it's hot. I slip her the tongue, of course, and kiss her really softly, but she really must be horny, 'cause she's slipped her hand up my shirt. Buffy's touching my back.. *under my shirt* Shit, we're so gonna do it. I tilt my head the other way, so I can get my tongue in further and get back in control - she's getting a little too fresh - and she digs her nails into my lower back. That kinda hurts, but it's kinda hot.

I lean into her and push her back, so she's got her back to the fridge. I lean my arm against it and take hold of her by the hem line of her jeans.

"I'm glad you came here," I admit. "It was driving me crazy not being able to touch you."

"Faith," she's trying to say, so I cut her off. I really don't wanna be hearing that we can't be doing this, so I kiss her again. This time the kiss is faster, more urgent. I use one hand to pull down her chin and allow me full access inside her mouth. The other hand? Makin' its way into her jeans. I bite my bottom lip as I push my hand into the tight space. Her eyes close and she pants into my mouth.

"Faith, I.. Oh!"

"Yeah, baby, what do you want?" I ask real slick. Even though I know. I stroke through the lack of hair she has down there... "Babe, you shaved. That's hot."

She digs her fingernails deeper into me, so I stick mine deeper into her. She gasps, arching herself up to let me in more and I can feel her arousal coating my fingers. "Damn, you're real wet, B," I tell her, but I'm pretty sure she knows. This is starting to get uncomfortable and I wanna take this upstairs, so I pull back. "D'you wanna go up?" I ask her.

She looks at me all confused. "I can't," she tells me, but firmer this time. She pulls my arm outta her trousers and tries to move forward.

Fine then. "Okay," I say, licking her off of my fingers and puckering up. Let's get back to the making out then.

"We should go back," she says. "We've been gone a while."

"Like she cares," I tell her. Willow's watching some lame-ass, witch movie and those are like her two favourite things.

"I don't want her to think something's going on."

So it's like that?

"Go then," I say. And SHE DOES!!! Aaaarrrgh. Y'know if she wasn't so hot, I'd beat her up and I could, you know. I'm the best slayer ever. Will be doing more Faith-lovin' later, but looks like the pizza guy's here and I'm hungry.

I hot-foot to the door and throw it open. Damn. It's Xander.

"Hey Faith," he says, looking behind me, like he's looking for someone not me. It's probably Anya; hah, she has him so whipped.

"X-man, what's up?"

"Is Anya here?" he says. Wow. How psych..oic..psychedelic am I? He's wondering why I'm nodding to myself. Need diversion.

"Nah, but she says she's coming later," I tell him.

"Who is it?" I hear B shout from inside.

"Xander," I call back.

Which gets a chorus of, "Hey Xander," from B and Red.

"Hey," he calls past me, tryin' to walk in. "So, Anya's here later. Okay, I'll wait."

"No can do, dude," I say standing in his way. "She says if she even thinks that you've been here, she'll go all vengeance demon again and let girls in the club too."

He looks at me like he's thinking about it, then hands me something. "Okay, but could you give this to her," he says. "Tell her I'm sorry and that I know that she can have orgasms without me."

In those exact words? "Dude, like that?"

"Make something up," he tells me.

I nod and he goes. I look at the box. It's small and box-shaped. Oh, man.. What if it's a freakin' bomb? So I open it... Dude, you'll never believe what's in here; a fucking vibrator! I look around and see Buffy sat watching the movie. She's not gonna miss me if I go for an hour... or three, so I go upstairs with it. I quietly walk past Joyce's room... Y'know she's been asleep for a long time.. I haven't seen her since yesterday..

I go and check and the room's empty.. and her bed's empty. The bed looks real nice and I've been having to sleep on the floor. Yup I have, ever since B decided that she gets way too turned on to just sleep next to me. I swear it's like she's in heat. Why she won't just let me take care of that, I'll never know. Oh well, don't need her. Need big, huge bed to masturbate over her... What? I'll change the sheets before Mrs. S gets home - I'm not an animal.

I lose my pants, climb into the mother-fucker of a bed and get all comfy... comfy? Damn, I'm spending so much time with Buffy, I'm starting to talk like her. Buffy. I'm wish she was here right now, lying on top of me and saying something like,

"Faith, I never want to stop giving you this amazing head, but would you mind turning over and letting me do your ass?"

Oh, fuck! I think I just had a mini orgasm... Okay, I know this was supposed to be for Anya, but she wouldn't mind if I took it for a test-drive...

I take the vibrator and turn it on. Haha, it's just shaking away. I look around quick, then lift the sheet a little, slipping the thing inside my pussy. Ohhhhh!... My...Godddd... This is fucking amazing. I shift my ass a little, so I can get it in deeper and I think I hit my G 'cause I'm creaming loads.

I shut my eyes real tight and struggle to breathe out, "Oh Buffy, don't stop." Which turns me on even more. Thinking of her lips sucking on me as I buck against the sheets, the cotton rubbin' on me hard and the vibrator in deep.

Shit, the thing's just vibrating inside me... I'm gonna cum soon... I can feel myself dripping wet. This is soooo gooood... I have to chuck the vibrator across the room and stick my fingers where it was, pumping them in and out of my cunt.

"Buffy... Oh! Buffy," I chant, pinching and rubbing my clit. It's soaked, so my fingers just slip off it, like B's tongue would. My fingers soaked in my arousal, I thrash around in the bed needing to get myself off. I go in deeper and that does it, I cum hard, screaming Buffy's name as I do then falling back on the bed. Fuck that was good. I needed that.

See, I don't need her. I just need my new-

"What's this?" Buffy asks, picking up my cum soaked egg and walking inside the room.

Her mouth's wide open and she looks at my pants on the floor then back up at me.

"Faith, why are you in my mom's bed?" she quietly asks. Yeah, like that's the only question I have to answer...

~ PART 3 ~

~ Buffy's POV ~

"Faith, what's with you today? You're acting super weird."

"Nothing, B," she says and she shuffles again. "I gotta go."

"Wait," I say. I grab hold of her arm. "What's going on? Is this about what happened last night, 'cause Faith I get it-"

She looks down at my arm and shivers. My God, she's perspiring in buckets.

"B, please, let go."

Please let go? Since when has Faith ever asked someone to let go of her and why does she want *me* to. I let go of her and she bolts off.

I swear sometimes Faith is the weirdest person ever. She sends all these signals and then sends all these other signals... Y'know what she is? A signal mixer. Ugh! I just hate that. She calls me beautiful and then all she's interested in is sex. I don't even know if I want to have sex with Faith. I certainly don't if she keeps pushing. I know, I should talk to her, but that's really hard. Once I start talking about us, she gets... excited and touches me, then I get excited and let her and the next thing you know we're kissing each other in the kitchen all up against the freezer. That was last night, but I haven't been able to get her out of my mind since then. Now, she's all avoidy. This is so hard.

"What is?" Willow asks, coming in from upstairs and sitting next to me.

Did I say that out loud? I really should watch that. Especially now that I'm having these naughty thoughts about Faith. Yeah, okay, so she gives me naughty thoughts. Like one time I had a dream about me and her doing it in the cemetery in the dark.

Willow gasps. "Who are you thinking about doing it with?"

What? That's it, no more with the thinky. "What?" I say.

"It's just that, you had your 'lusty' face on."

"I have a 'lusty' face?"

"Yeah. You usually do it right after you patrol with Faith."

"What?!!"

"It's fine. Remember, Faith explained about the 'hungry and horny' post-slayage mode."

I give her an 'explain yourself right now' look and she side- tracks, "Speaking of Faith, has she asked you to the Halloween Party, yet?"

"What?" I say for the third time. "Why-why would she do that?"

"It's just that I'm going with Tara and Xander's thinking of hiring a hooker to compete with Anya's date. Giles has a few women he's narrowing down. You and Faith are the only ones going stag, so I thought, you two'd go together. It's the twenty-first century, y'know?"

"What's that supposed to mean? That Faith and I like each other in that way? Why would you think that? Faith and I don't like each other in that way, Will. We don't. Nope."

She looks at me like I'm crazy and I wish I could take back that last bit, 'cause the 'nope' did make me sound a bit nuts.

"Buffy, I didn't say you two were in love with each other. I just meant that it's the twenty-first century, so it's ok for two friends to go to a party together."

"Oh," I say. "Yeah. No. I'm pretty sure Faith has a date and I might be the hooker Xander needs." She gives me confused face again. She knows what I mean. "You know what I mean."

"Uh-huh."

"So no more of this Faith-talk?"

"Are you..? Never mind." She knows I'm hiding something, but as long as she doesn't know what it is, I'm cool with that.

"Maybe I could fix Faith up then. There's this guy in Tara's art class who'd be perfect for her."

I'm seething. Why would she do that? "That's a great idea," I lie. It's a horrible idea.

"Great. I'll ask Faith and see what she says."

*****

This is the lamest party ever. There's no music, because we didn't decide who was in charge of what after Faith and I had that huge fight. There are hardly any decorations – just one 'Happy Halloween' sign. To make it worse, there are literally five other people not from the usual gang. Some flabby skinned demon who is with Anya. Some crazy chick, forcing Xander to dance and three girls fighting over Giles - since when was he the 'super stud'?. One of the 'Happy Halloween' signs falls down and everyone turns to look at it. No-one picks it up, because no-one cares. Everyone is just too polite to leave first.

Walking over, punch in hand, Tara and Willow sit next to me. "Where's Faith," Willow asks.

I dunno. I'm not Faith's keeper you know. "No idea," I say. Come to think of it, I haven't seen her since she got here. She didn't look so good. Not form wise, because Faith is a beautiful girl - mental state-wise. Like something was majorly wrong.

"Oh. Is she still in the basement?" Willow asks.

"Faith was in the basement?"

"Yeah, she disappeared a while ago. But she's been there a long time."

"I'll go check," I offer. Anything's better than standing here listening to Willow go on. I mean, I love the girl, but sometimes she's so grating, y'know? I leave the top floor of the Magic box and make my way to the basement. Pretty much as soon as I get a few inches in, I'm hit by this heavy smell... We-I'd actually call it an aroma because it sounds nicer. I creep downstairs, quietly and stop, dead still when I see her. Faith. Standing by the hobby horse... Touching herself… Again?

~ Faith's POV ~

"Oh my God," I scream out loud, cumming like there's no tomorrow. I struggle to hold myself up against the hobby-horse, panting. I didn't know when she came in, but she did.

Buffy.

She stands in front of me, looking at the hand between my pants. But instead of bursting into laughter - like I would do - she looks at me all sympathetic like.

"Faith," she says softly.

"B, I'm dying," I say back. And that's the God honest truth. I can't stand this feeling. Do you think it's a good feeling? Being so turned on all day, every day? I mean, I always thought I was horny, but this? "This is insane and it's killing me," I explain. "All I can think of is sex. Specifically, sex with you. All day, every day."

"Fine," she whispers. "If that's what you want, then fine. If you're going to all this trouble to turn up at my Halloween Party to masturbate in the basement, then fine."

"Hold up," I say. "You think I'm faking this, so that I can get into your pants?"

"Aren't you?" she says.

"No!" I screech. "Why the hell would I? There's something wrong with me, B. Otherwise why else would I-" Alright stop. Let's not say something we'll regret.

"Be fantasizing about me?" She completes, but kinda asks.

"Huh? No." I hold her... With my left hand of course. "I usually fantasize about you all the time. It's just lately, I haven't been able to control myself. Maybe it's all the slaying. But I don't want you to think that it's all about sex with you. I'm cool just D.I.Yin' it."