Getting In.....
by Holliday
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: None.
She's watching me now, to see what I'm going to do next. I know it just like I know I'm sitting here. She's playing her game again and yesterday it was fun, today she's going for...... I'm not sure. Maybe she wants to see what she can get what imformation I'll share. She never has to ask I'd give it willingly, yet here we are the same song and dance I could go. It would proably be better if I did. I'm not interested in why I never was I could care less about who's here and what's new today. Yet there she is again just waiting for something.
So I walk over sitting next to her I see it even before that I feel it comes off of her in waves. Pain and sorrow she has them more than anyone I've ever seen and I'm drawn to it. I've seen her being bad but it's nothing to when it gets like this. It's as almost as if the world is perfect where she is and raining everywhere elses. Yet for her that perfect world is hell. She likes to think it isn't it is and she knows it. Just too afraid to say anything. So I've watched her oh I have picked up on everything and still she lets it stay perfect at least for awhile. To tell you the truth I'm tired of it. I watch them all vying for something that is unattainable yet a good dream in the end. Sorry. Dreams are part of a reality I wasn't let in on. I'm never mad about it. How could I be it's fate. Shouldn't I be glad on some level. Maybe I am. Yup happy as a lark jumping over the rainbow and into her arms that is where I am right now. Okay maybe not right now but I will be.
Here we go again. I'm mad who isn't I wanted to bitch and moan about how fucked it really is. Then I see them all in their own hell and mine is bad yet how can I shit on them. Then I remeber I'm not alone. She's right here with me. I've wished for it for so long I forget sometimes that she never left. I did. It wasn't for the reasons she thinks. I wasn't ever really anywhere really I just needed to find some one I thought was lost. She's back and I can't let go. A life without her is...... You know what I don't even want to think about that. It's been a long time coming but and even longer time in the making time is strange as is life and anything else you can't really define. I can't say I know really what LOVE is I know it's a word that scars people. For some it's an easy way to get a bed mate. Others it's a security blanket to keep them safe on a cold night. For me... Well that's easy....When ever I find myself wondering what the hell this all means I just look at her and everything is right with the world. I sound like a greeting card.....