Just Once..
by Holliday
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Sunni.
Author's Notes: In the ep Enemies, Faith makes the comment to Buffy of "Close but no cigar with Angel, I don't know if I could." Then in This Year's Girl she says "I had this dream with something to do with cigars and tunnels." The scene where everyone finds out Faith has woken from her coma the face Buffy makes is like she's been up to something naughty with coma girl....
At first I didn't understand the dream we shared who's mind were we in. When she reached out her hand to me, I knew then she would always be with me. When I awoke in my bed I didn't bother to change first. Instead I went to her hoping she was awake too. Looking at her lying in the bed, so peaceful yet so broken I wanted to lie next to her and just stay wherever we were.
Instead I lean down and kissed her my sleeping beauty. I moved back to where my clothes were as I came back to her. I began to slip out of my clothes. I smiled and chuckled a little as I thought of her face and the inappropriate comment she would have made if she could see me.
Once I was dressed I touched her one last time as I went to save our town. When I left the hospital we all went back to the library to find out what we could do to stop the mayor. When Xander asked Angel what he knew about the mayor. When he said her name I was cold for a moment, then I spoke her name and I hurt I hoped knowbody saw.
When they didn't notice I knew, leaving I went back to get the knife. She told me take what I needed so I did. When I came back and found Angel he told me he was leaving a part of me wanted to say...nothing but I did.
I knew Faith was still here so she wasn't going to be going anywhere, but she was here where I needed her to be. I was coming to the realization I wanted her to be there too, but I didn't let them know.
Then everything happened so fast the acension, the war the end of highschool. I really did just want to sleep, but I didn't sleep at home. I went upstairs to my room and I creeped out the window. I made my way over to Faith's the place had been cleaned up almost as if nothing had ever happened.
I still knew where she kept her spare key, it was how I got in the first time. Faith and I were... She made me feel like I was normal. Angel wasn't like that. He made me feel different like I was his reason for living.
Faith was like this in a sense but there was so much more when we'd touch or fight I wanted them to go further, lower I wanted her to know what was beyond my clothes. I wanted her to see and feel me.
Once inside I began roaming around only for a while, I began to take off my clothes and slid in between her sheets. The smell of her was all over them. As I closed my eyes. I wanted to dream of her. I did but this was no slayer dream.
The room was dark as I walked back in. Faith was laying on the bed she smiled and rolled over as I came in. She didn't get up and I didn't want her to. I moved over to her sitting down I looked down shyly she sat up watching me intently her eyes so dark.
I began to undress slowly she never let her eyes leave my body. Once my shirt was off I looked at her wanting to know what I should next. Reaching out her hand she touched my cheek, her thumb running along my bottom lip.
I was close to tears as she pulled me into her she began to kiss away my tears. Every kiss she placed on me I felt. As I pushed her back I began to touch her.
The morning light began filtering in as I awoke. Getting up I made my way to the kitchen there was milk in the refrigrator looking around I found some cereal captain crunch or something I got a bowl and ate breakfast. Sometime later I showered and got dressed I went to the hospital.
I wasn't sure what I was going to do once we were alone. She had been moved to a private room so we were alone. I didn't say anything at first just watched her sleeping. Then I left. I came back the next day and it was the same thing.
Then time began to disappear it was then school had started and I was meeting people, but I was always going back to her. One night I snuck into the hospital. It was the night after the Gentleman had come and Riley and I... he found out about me.
I had to see her. Creeping in to her room. I sat on the bed. She was pale and didn't look like herself but I knew she was in there I began to tell her eveything as I ran my hands along her arms.
"Faith I know you can hear me. Wake up I met someone and I don't love him, or like him really and you're not here to keep him away from me. Like you did before. Please I don't want to have to lie to them and pretend anymore wake up it's you I love," leaning in I kissed her as I began to pull back the cover slowly pushing up her gown.
I began to touch what I had been wanting for so long. My hands parted her legs as I began to run them up her legs I didn't stop when I reached her sex. I continued as I began to touch her I stopped long enough to remove my own clothes as I got in bed next to her.
She had healed but I didn't want to hurt her and in the quiet night of the room we made love for the first time. I kept this from her, but it stayed with me. I was so into her I didn't know we were being watched. I found out from one of the nurses when she called to tell me my girl-friend was awake.
Then she left and I never told her. What we had done. I stayed with Riley because he had wanted I had wanted for so long, and now she may never come back.