Please You
by Holliday
Rating: NC-17
Author's Notes: Introspective look of the elusive orgasm. As a career I don't do dick. "Not my bag EVER. Mine was removed at birth like a slamander I still miss my appendage." A moment of silence for Blackula...
I remember Angel. I can't forget that night my first and only night with him. It began slowly as he kissed me and I began to relax, I could feel his erection against my stomache and some part of me was scared, that he would leave me after. I was right but I was wrong about some much more. He layed me down gently as he moved atop, then that tenderness was there and he was gentle as he entered into me. I stalled my breathing preparing myself for what I knew would hurt. He pushed further until I felt the shooting pain separating my inner walls as he fit himself into me. I gasped as he began to move inside me. I was so hot inside and he was cold and ridged. It was hard and still it is what I imagine necrophilia to be like.
Puns aside, the sex for him was souls shattering but as I lay there torn literally, I felt alone and by no means fulfilled. After he came in me, he dropped down like a ton of bricks, and then rolled over and slept. It was during the night he left... And I was deflowered.
My flirting with B is fun, but when we get to sex she isn't as open as I am, being from the streets, I learned alot about sex, and sexuality, sex is sex. Crude yes but it is. The odds of finding good sex are very low. The odds of finding good sex and someone you don't mind sleeping with are almost slim to none.
Factor in love and you are headed for... Well let's just say it might take a long time. So it doesn't surprise me when we are walking and we begin a more in depth conversation of my hungry and horny musings.
She shys away from me when I ask if she ever had an orgasm. She's silent. So your toes never curled? no screaming "InDEGARDENOFEDEN?" She smacks my arm and pushes me backward.
"No Faith I haven't so you going to rub it in?" I don't really have to think about it but I do and I realize something about myself that at this moment I am not quite ready to admit to her yet.
"No, B I just think that if... And let me make this G rated for you if someone can't bring you to a destination it's ok to drive yourself."
"Faith, geeze I'm not an invalid or anything but I feel kinda, like I..I did it wrong."
"Nah, just not compatible chemistry was good from what I've been hearing but when it came time for the final, he just wasn't there for you. And that is mainly how you view the first time."
"What was your's like?" She's got this glazed over look like I'm about to tell her the greatest story ever. I am about to tell her when we are flankd by a group of vamps. We manage to dust them and I get this feeling again.
"I-I-I'll talk to you tomorrow." I leave her before she can ask anymore questions. Once inside my room I head to the bathroom. As I gaze at myself in the mirror, I see it. Closing my eyes I run some water in the sink splashing some on my face. I try to avoid what I know is building inside of me.
Laying down on the bed I try to relax but it plays again. The darkness of that time is back and I feel dirty inside, abused, and violated. I toss and turn for the rest of the night.
I wonder why Faith left the last thing she said keeps repeating in my head. "The first time should be about you." It warms me as I begin to touch my left breast I can see dark eyes looming up at me, I slowly begin to imagine her hands moving across my skin, the weight of her against me is driving me further.
I slide my underwear off and the scent of myself rises up to greet me. I don't stop the thoughts of wondering what we'd both smell like if our scents mixed together.
As I slide my hand over my lips I can feel the heat radiating inside me, parting them the warm wetness coats my fingers as I slide one digit across my clit.
The sensation is numbing and I feel myself getting week. I continue my ministrations and as my temperature rises. My breathing is labored as I close my eyes and release what I had been striving for.
"I love you." The words just spring from my lips as my body slowly relaxes and I am once agian, pulled back into myself. I lie naked in the dimlight of my room and I let that thought of love echo into the darkness.
It won't be for a few weeks that I see B again. I'm standing outside her classroom window. And I draw on the dusty window. A dual meaning. One of slaying some undead, and two of capturing her heart.
She looks at me strangely but somehow she got one of the two meanings and she leaves with me.
"Hey girlfriend ready to be bad?"
"Only if you are." We smile at each other and take off, the rest of the day we are back into our normal routine of just being slayers. It's nice to have Faith around she changes the perspective of things. I know I have feelings for her, but where do I go with them. Ok before I even get into any of that, I want to have sex with her, this much I know.
She flashes those dimples and I am suddenly flushed, I'm so glad that there is music playing so I can drag her onto the dancefloor as the beat pounds out. I move into her. I am so close to her she is still almost unreal. Yet as our bodies begin to entertwine I am losing control and nearly ready to just kiss her.
The song ends and before I can get a chance she's moved away from me, she is harder to catch than the flu, yet I am still drawn to her. B's looking at me and I know she felt something, Because right now I'm torn between beating somthing up or just taking her away from here locking the door and giving her the best years of her life for a few days and nights.
However it didn't work out that way, and my over zealous behavior has gotten someone killed. This is when I know my past is never truly behind me. B and I are well I don't know what we are, I was going to make amends until he showed up, and now I can't stand to be here right now. It never fails the walking shclongs always ruin a good thing. Besides I'm great at alone when I need to be.
Then it happens and I screw her over worse than anyone ever could. I decide to remove every obstacle in my way for some hollow cause of being the one, this is when I lose everthing my sanity and my place in her world.
So when she sticks my own knife in me, I am not surprise. I would have killed me and don't think she didn't try, she tried I just have this unrelenting need to be the last one standing. This time I lose, and when I hit the ledge I don't expect to wake up.
I'm depressed, I've been for some time now. After Graduation I didn't really feel much like anything. I had been keeping secrets again, I spent my vacation keeping tabs on Faith. Wasn't like she was going anywhere but I-I who am I kidding I felt like shit and she looked like I felt. I couldn't just leave her even when she went crazy, some part of me held a place for her in my heart, no one knew about my trips to visit her, Which I don't see how because I was by know means any good at lying, but I got away with it.
I never stay too long, just long enough to see her and feel her close to me. I go back to my friends and begin what is supposed to be my new life. I don't really like this place, it's become one big burden and I'm tired. Yet I still keep pushing myself, when school begins I think maybe it'll work out things will begin to perk up.
They do...At least in the beginning and just like that the perfect lie, becomes your reality. Riley Finn the golden boy of Walsh's eye. Is now staring at me, cornfed Iowa grown stock, he's built like Angel, which is just pathetic on my part I know that but, I'm glutton for punishment. I can't let go of my past, somehow I figure being with Riley will bring me closer to Faith. It did and not in the ways I wanted.
He fucked her, well that's not true he fucked my body she just happened to be in me at the time, and I'd be lying to everyone if I said I didn't want to do the same thing to her. I did before I crashed thru the window, I crashed thru her. I had wanted to know what it was that drove me to the acts of desperation I constantly engaged in my life.
And when I finally got to see her it made sense she was in me as I was in her. In its own right we were sleeping together. But that is just too much to really think about right now.....
So here we are right now. Inside the church both of us standing at the alter. And then she stops she looks at me and surrenders.
"I'm sorry. For this. I'm sorry I was raped, I'm sorry I ever touched you. I'm sorry I ever woke up. B I can't live this I am not what I seem keep your life and let me go now." Faith moved closer to leave.
"No. Fuck you Faith you can't do this again. Not now you want me to let you go I can't. Damn it you do this every time, just when I am so close to telling you the truth you want to leave, No."
"You can't stop me, you never could. It's why..."
"Why what?"
"Look leave me alone. We are finally even. Kiss me goodbye and go out there and do what you do best."
"Faith if you leave me now I will follow you everywhere you go you will never be rid of me."
"B-Buffy please.."
"Yes, whatever it is yes." Buffy moved closer to her, Faith tried to fight it, but the effects of solitude had finally taken effect and she held her. Leaning up she kissed her.
"We better get out there, you take the front door I'll go out the back."
"No."
"Don't ever say No to me."
"Faith you're different now, I know."
"Not to them I'm not and I don't want to be. You and I need time to work thru this before..."
"No we don't you know it I know it. It's always been you before I knew you it was you."
Buffy's upstairs I'm on my way up just wanted a snack. When I get to her room she's laying under the covers.
"Get in." Faith began removing her clothes pulling back the covers she was surprised to find her naked.
"B."
"F. I want this."
Faith nodded she moved closer to her she had meant what she said so long ago and began to show her. Removing the hair from her eyes she placed a few kisses on her neck, licking it she began to nuzzel at her ear. Pulling her into her lap she let her fingers run up the contours of her back. As she began to suck at her neck, Buffy's moans began to settle thru the room. Leaning back was granted access to her breasts, she ran her hands along the orbs and tweaked the nipples, taking her aroeles in her mouth she suckled her, as Buffy enjoyed the sensations Faith was working her into a frenzy.
Looming over her she kept playing with her breasts as she traveled lower kissing and licking her way down her torso she could smell her arousal.
"B, look at me." Buffy sat up, she looked down to her eyes giving her permission to do whatever she desired. Running the tips of her nails along her thighs she opened her legs further. Buffy lay glistening before her her mound an open invitation to Faith's waiting mouth. Kissing her thighs she parted her nether lips and blew a stream of air on her sensitive nubbin.
Buffy sighed as Faith sucked the protruding nerve, biting down she sent a sharp shiver thru her center and Buffy cried out. Faith began coating a finger in her fluids as she place one inside her tight channel she pushed in moving slowly setting up a slow steady rythm. Buffy began to rock agaist her chin she tried to speed it up but Faith slowed her movements she wanted this to last for her.
Inserting another finger into the wet hot core she began to increase her speed Buffy was bucking wildily as Faith's fingers devoured her. She could feel a fire burning inside her slowly in the pit of her stomace as Faith felt the first clench of her inner sancim closing in. She revelead in the taste and feel of her all around her. Buffy pushed up as Faith pushed in then she stilled as her body came in a torrent of waves.
"I love you." Buffy cried out. Faith wasn't stopping she kept going the blonde thrashed a bit more as mutliple spasm gripped her inside. She fell back on the bed as Faith pushed in one last time. Removing her hand she began licking off the juice on her arm and the cream on her fingers.
She moved closer up to her lying down next to her she pulled her into her arms and she breathed in her "I love you too always."