Fade to Black
by Hose Jockey 20
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I make no money. All hail Joss and his band of mutants.
"Fade to Black" was written and sung by Metallica in 1985, on the Ride the Lightning album.
So gotta give it up to them for being a most excellent band. Like I could write anything
that good.
Spoilers: Shit if I know. Gimme a fuckin break, here.
Author's Notes: Okay, I'm temporarily outa retirement to finish this one and
write another one. The other one is entitled "Die Die My Darling." As always, //stuff//
denotes song lyrics. *** denotes change in POV.
Thanks: All the people who read my stuff and gave feedback. You know who you are.
Dedication: To that same female I wrote about in "Innocence Lost." You think that
we can just "be friends" after what you did to me? If I had any guts at all, I'd tell you
to shove it somewhere. But I still love you too much for that. Fuck me. And fuck you for not
loving me back and breaking my heart.
Feedback: Yeah, sure, whatever.
//Life it seems will fade away Drifting further everyday//
Christ, I shoulda been there, thought Faith as she watched Buffy lay in a coma from injuries sustained while fighting Adam. But no, I had to run away, never say goodbye. And look what I fucked up now. Good fuckin job, F.
She was back in Sunnydale. She had to come back. It was her fault that B got hurt, after all. Everything's her fault lately. Had she just been braver, even just a bit, she would have been fighting the Frankensteinian monstrosity just like her older cohort had. But no, she decided that she couldn't face the blonde anymore.
Well, she did stab me and throw me off a roof, she thought. But what the hell, shit happens.
Now she felt a load upon her shoulders. A monkey so great that it made King Kong pale in comparison. Buffy was nearly dead, and it was her own fault. Nobody knew she'd come back, not the Scoobies, not Giles, not even fucking Angel. Because she wasn't there for any of them. She was there for the one she loved.
And she did love her. More than she would ever realise. In a way, Buffy had become a needed part of her. Just seeing the blonde again filled Faith with both terrified ecstasy and bitter hate. She was very excited at seeing the only person she'd ever really loved again, but angry that the blonde had shut her out from her feelings completely. In a sense, Buffy had killed a part of Faith when she'd slept with Angel. Because Faith was desperately in love with her. And no force on this earth could change that.
//Getting lost within myself Nothing matters, no-one else//
Jeez, my head hurts, thought the older slayer. What the hell did he do to me? And for that matter, where the hell am I? And why can't I see? Oh, shit, don't tell me I'm blind! How can I slay anything if I'm blind? How can I shop?
You're not blind, or anything of the sort, said a slightly familiar British voice. You're in a coma, Buffy, and now you have to do some serious soul-searching.
Giles? she thought. What the hell are you doing in my head?
Well, while you were off fighting Adam, I had a slight heart attack. Well, apparently it wasn't so slight. He coughed.
You're dead? Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I- I- I didn't mean for this to happen.
Don't worry, it was bound to happen. But pay attention, because we have things to take care of. Right now, you're lost within your mind, and you must find your way out. Because if you don't... he trailed off.
What? If I don't, what'll happen?
If you don't, Faith will commit suicide, because she feels your coma is her fault, he finished.
Faith's here? she asked mentally. Why does she think this is all her fault?
Because she ran off and left you alone, Giles explained. She loves you, Buffy, and she cannot get over it. Every person she's ever loved has hurt her. The Faith you know is not the true Faith. What you see is a facade, or a false front. She covers up her weakness by acting tough, like she doesn't care about anything or anyone. But in all actuality, she loves you very deeply.
How do you know all this? Buffy asked.
I'm a watcher, remember? he answered. The Council didn't pay me to be a dope. Besides, dead people know a lot. Or so I've been told.
So what should I do?
That, Buffy, is a question only you can answer. I must go, but I will be back. And with that, he was gone.
Damn, I think I'm fucked.
//I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give//
Faith sat on the roof of Buffy's house, the only place where she'd known happiness, with a .44 Magnum in her right hand.
"If you're gonna do it, ya gotta do it right," she said to no one in particular. She had the barrel right up to her temple, when she all of a sudden felt a sense of not being alone anymore, and heard a voice in her head.
You don't want to do that, the voice said patiently.
Who the fuck are you, and what are you doing in my head? she asked angrily. Whoever you are, I don't need your damn after-school special guidance shit. My mind's made up, so fuck off! She raised the Magnum to her temple again, and again she heard the voice.
If you loved her, you wouldn't do this, it said. Your suicide will set off a chain reaction that will ultimately lead to her death. So if you love Buffy, you should reconsider your current plan of action.
Faith dropped the gun, feeling as she'd just been slapped.
Who the fuck are you?
Myself, the voice said simply, as if that one statement explained everything. A chicken is not a chicken dinner, and I am myself.
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
A lot, if you think about it. That's the whole problem, Faith. You don't think before you act. If you thought about it, you'd realize that she loves you. Probably more than you love her.
How do you know all of this?
I am myself.
Will you explain what that means? Or do I have to sit here all night guessing?
As long as you are on this earth, you shall never know. I believe your friend Giles would be able to testify to that extent, but sadly, he is unable to speak to you right now. Please hang up and try your call again.
Huh? Are you tryin to tell me that G-man is dead?
Sadly, yes, but there was nothing you or anyone else could do about it. The ambulance arrived, and your friend Jason tried his best to revive him, but he was unable to. This has taken its toll on him, too.
J? What about J? Why is he here?
This shall all be explained in time, however, there are more important things at hand. You must go to the gang called the Scoobies, and enlist their help. Especially the witches; you will need them more than ever. The biggest evil to ever hit this universe will be here shortly, and you are the only person powerful enough to stop it. You are the only Slayer left on active duty. And your actions will determine Buffy's fate. So if you fuck up...
What the hell am I supposed to do then?
That is something you must figure out, with the help of your friends. Goodbye, Faith, I'll be with you if it gets tough.
And with that, the voice was gone. Faith felt a sensation of something leaving her, and that sense of duality was suddenly snapped away from her.
"That was interesting," she said to herself. "Definitely gotta stop eatin those shrooms." She grabbed the gun, suddenly horrified by the prospect of killing herself, and shoved it in her back pocket.
No sense in havin' some kid blow the hell outa something, she thought, while shinnying down the ladder she used to get up on the roof in the first place. The gun stayed muzzle-up in her back pocket, and that would ultimately play a large role in her remaining life.
//There is nothing more for me Need the end to set me free//
Hello? Buffy asked from within the confines of her own mind. I think I've reached a decision. Yes, I love her. You happy now? Can I go? No answer.
Jeez, this blows, she thought. And the shit of it is, I actually do love her. A lot. I can't believe I've been so blind. What is my problem? Poor Faith, living all alone, with nobody to care about her. I should have been there for her. Really, I should have.
And she went on and on like that, until she felt a presence in her mind.
Bloody hell, you're starting to give me a fuckin' headache, the new, even more familiar voice said. So quit your whining.
What the... Spike? she asked. What are you doing here?
Some bloody bastard staked me when I was in LA. Bastard made it hurt, too.
William the Bloody got staked... wow. So that doesn't explain what you're doing here.
Let's just say that because of all the help I've given a certain slayer, the powers that be have decided to give me a second chance. So listen up: you've admitted your feelings. Whoop-de-fucking-do. Your parade will be here in a bloody moment.
Knock it off and get to what I need to hear! she snapped angrily.
All right, keep your fucking knickers on! You can't wake up until Faith passes her test. This time, she goes and slays while you stay home. Got it?
Whoa, wait. What's she going to go slay?
Sod if I know! I'm just telling you what I've been told, which isn't a whole bloody lot. All I know is this: she has to go trash this demon-thing named "the Snirtch," which is supposedly one of the greatest evils in the world, blah, blah, sodding blah.
Oh, so there's actually a demon out there that you haven't gotten drunk with, scoffed Buffy. I'm in total shock.
Pipe down, bitch, and let me finish. This Snirtch thing isn't even a proper demon, the bloody bastard. It fancies itself worse than Satan, and it calls itself "the all-powerful" or "the penultimate evil," or a whole bloody list of names. The point is this: Faith has to take care of it, and then you can wake up. But if I were you, I'd make bloody sure that's what you want to do before you do it.
What? Tell me exactly what you mean by that, Spike, or I'll-
You'll what? Stake me? Bugger this, I don't have to take this abuse. Figure the rest out by your own self.
And he left, leaving Buffy alone in her brain again.
Shit. I think I'm fucked even more this time. I gotta get to Faith.
//Things not what they used to be Missing one inside of me//
Faith stopped outside Giles' old apartment, hoping to find one of the Scoobies there. Preferably Willow, because the voice had told her to especially get the help of the witches.
What the fuck did he mean by witches? she wondered. Did Red find someone her own age to play with?
As she thought this, she saw a small blonde female walk up the steps and go into Giles' apartment. Feeling a strong urge, she followed her, and stopped outside the door, where she heard voices from the past.
"Dammit, we can't just sit here while Buffy's still in the hospital!" yelled a familiar voice.
"Oh, Christ, X-man," muttered Faith under her breath. "Just what I fuckin' needed."
"But what can we do?" wailed Willow.
"I don't know, but I think Xander's right," said a meek, female voice.
"Oh, fuck this," snarled Faith as she burst through the door.
Everybody's mouths hung agape as they recognised the well-built brunette striding across the room. Everybody but the small blonde sitting with Willow was in total shock as they saw this blast from the past come, well, blasting back into their lives.
"What the fuck are you guys doing?" she spat angrily. "B's in the hospital, G-man's dead, and all you guys can do is sit here and bitch each other out! Fuck, where's a watcher when you need one!"
"F- F- F- Faith?" said Xander weakly. "What- how- why.... Huh?"
"Yes, Faith," shot back the slayer. "Gee, he can even recognise people. Next thing you know he'll be potty trained and walking around like a big boy."
"Hey! Leave my Xander alone," said a nicely shaped blonde. "My Xander. Only I can make fun of him."
"Who the hell are you? Never mind, I don't care. There are bigger things we have to take care of here."
"Um, wait a sec," began Willow. "What do you mean we? Aren't you the one who decided you didn't need our help?" she asked acidly.
"Yeah, well, that all changed when B got her ass kicked."
"How in the hell did you know that?" asked Xander.
"Super slayer powers," replied Faith caustically. "The deal is that I gotta go slay some big bad shit before B can wake up, and I guess I need your help. This voice-thingy told me I needed to 'enlist the help of the Scoobies, especially the two witches.' And I quote."
"Okay, so we're just supposed to welcome you back with open arms?" snarled Xander. "It doesn't quite work like that." His anger was building. The memories of what Faith had done to him were overtaking his passive nature. Now he just wanted to attack. But what happened next stopped him.
*CRASH*
Two demons suddenly smashed through the glass window of Giles' apartment. One broke left and made a mad dash for Tara. The other ran right through Anya and snatched Willow.
They were preparing to run, when Faith launched her attack. Using her slayer powers, she broke the neck of the demon that had Tara hostage. Its counterpart turned to see what had happened, and quickly got a boot to the ribs, breaking them. Willow managed to break the thing's hold on her while Faith finished it off.
"Happy now?" Faith asked Xander.
"Uh... I... uh..."
"That's what I thought. Now, anyone have any idea what the hell we're facing here?"
//Deathly lost, this can't be real Cannot stand this hell I feel//
This is hell, Buffy thought. I can't even move, let alone speak. And whom do I have to thank for this? Adam.
I know this is hard for you, Buffy, said Giles, returning. But it could be worse.
How?
You could be one of the undead, preying on innocents.
True. Thanks Giles.
No problem. Now, about this new demon... I think you'd better pay close attention.
//Emptiness is filling me To the point of agony//
Damn, I feel so lost without B here, thought Faith as the Scoobies were leafing through Giles' books. I can't believe I let her down like that.
You did all you could, thought yet another voice. It was one that Faith recognised all too well. There's no use in beating yourself up over it. I'm speaking from rueful experience, here.
J? What in the blue hell are you doing here?
Uhhh, never mind. Something I'd rather not discuss, and something I'm definitely not proud of. Just let this be a lesson to you. Knives and wrists do not go together.
Oh God... Jase, please tell me you didn't do what I think you did.
Depends on what you think I did, thought Firefighter Jase Makusztak.
Committed suicide by slitting your wrists.
Uhhh, okay. Then I won't tell you.
Dammit, Jase, how could you do something stupid like that?
Quite easily, I'm afraid. And that's why I'm here.
Why?
Well, to atone for that, I gotta help you beat the holy hell outa this Snirtch thing. Shouldn't be too hard, cos I know its weakness. But it ain't gonna be easy.
Wait, what the hell is a Snirtch?
You mean you don't know?
No. Should I?
Oh, shit. That was all supposed to be taken care of by one of The Powers That Be. Well, in any case, this Snirtch is what you gotta trash before Buffy can come outa her coma. And the only way to do that is to stab it in its neck. Good news is that when you nail it there, it'll immediately go poof.
Okay, what's the bad news? asked Faith.
The bad news is that this spot is only two inches high by one inch wide.
Oh, that oughta be easy enough, snarled Faith sarcastically.
Hey, I didn't design the bleedin thing! shot back Jase. And the news gets even worse. Your super strength pales in comparison to its power.
Great.
But it seems to be weak against magic, so you might wanna utilize Tara and Willow against this bastard.
Okay, so when do we rumba?
It's set to make its appearance in... Oh shit.
What?
It's set to make its appearance in an hour, over at Sunnydale Cemetery. You might wanna shake some tailfeathers there, babe.
An hour?! What are you, nuts? B's still in the body and fender shop!
I'm sorry, but I can't do anything about that. Or about its arrival and departure times. You're just gonna hafta haul some ass. And Faith?
Yeah?
Have the witches use a lot of white magic. It'll weaken it a bit; bring it down to your level. And there's one more thing.
What?! she asked impatiently.
Love ya babe.
I know, she thought smiling.
And suddenly, he was gone. It was as if he was never there, but Faith had all the vital information she needed, thanks to her oldest friend.
"Okay guys, listen up. Here's the plan."
//Growing darkness taking dawn I was me, but now he's gone//
The group reached the cemetery just before darkness set, so they wouldn't have to be bothered with vampires. They could feel the change in atmosphere; this wasn't your everyday slaying. Buffy's life hung on Faith's actions. And they all knew that.
Especially the brunette herself.
Finally the sun finished setting, and the whole world changed. A chasm opened up in front of them, and out of it came the ugliest thing they'd ever seen.
It was green with tan stripes on its back, horns jutting out from the sides of its head. It was at least ten feet tall, and was built like Arnold Schwarzenegger on steroids. It looked suprisingly human, except it had pointed ears and a nose that reminded Willow of a tree trunk, with roots spreading every which way. It wore no clothing, except for a pair of leather pants.
"So... this is the guy I'm supposed to beat, eh? Looks like this is gonna be a walk in the park."
"Where is the Slayer?" it boomed. "I must destroy the Slayer!"
"Yeah, that's me. Whaddaya want?" asked Faith mockingly.
"I will DESTROY you!"
"So says the thing with the Keebler elf ears."
At that moment, Xander went flying against a tree, struck by an invisible force. He was knocked unconscious by the blast, rendering him incapable of any help.
"Okay, that was... Tara! Willow! Magic! Please?"
"Working on it," came Tara's reply.
"Work harder!"
Suddenly the Snirtch charged, bowling over Anya to get to Faith. The slayer jumped out of the way in the nick of time, which sent the Snirtch headfirst into a tree.
"Guys! Magic!"
"Okay... okay... got it! Try some of this on for size!"
A blast of white magic hit the recovering Snirtch head-on, sending it back into the tree once more. The white phosphorous glow of a protective force field surrounded Faith suddenly, and she picked that moment to launch her attack. She jumped and kicked the Snirtch's forehead, snapping it back. She quickly grabbed her knife from her belt, and started stabbing the Snirtch in the neck.
The Snirtch, feeling this, gave a roar of anger, and sent Faith flying halfway across the cemetery. Its focus was turned to the witches. It charged, without a second thought.
The witches were too engrossed in their magic to see it coming until it was almost too late. Tara looked up and saw the Snirtch sprinting towards them, and she closed her eyes right before impact. None came, so she opened her eyes, and saw the Snirtch lying on the ground. She wheeled around, and saw the ghostly image of a firefighter wearing FDNY turnouts, and wielding an axe.
"Come on, you ugly piece of shit nutless wonder!" the fireman screamed. "I'll beat the hell outa you for daring to touch Faith!"
The Snirtch charged again, but this time went right through the firefighter. It stopped, utterly confused.
"C'mon!" Jase snarled, smiling his lunatic smile. "You can't kill someone who's already dead! So bring it motherfucker!"
The Snirtch was preparing to charge again, when it received a solid blow from behind. Standing there was none other than the ghost of Spike.
"C'mon you bloody bastard!" he yelled. "I'm gonna make this one hurt."
The Snirtch didn't know which way to attack.
"I will kill all of you now!" it thundered. "I cannot be-"
Faith came through Spike, slamming a gravestone against the Snirtch's head. Everyone heard the sickening thunk as she connected. The Snirtch dropped to its knees, and Faith went after its exposed neck. Only this time, a box-shaped area glowed bright red. She stabbed.
The Snirtch immediately disintegrated into nothing, and the chasm closed. All the demons it had brought with it imploded, and the group was left all alone again, only this time there were two more members of the group.
"Jase? Spike? What the hell is going on here?" asked Faith.
The two ghosts looked at each other, and Spike said, "You tell her, mate, I'm not too sure what's going on either."
"Okay," said Jase. "The Powers That Be decided that you needed a little extra help. So they sent us down here for a fight. Luckily, I was able to grab some stuff from my locker before I got here. My turnouts and my lucky axe."
"Lucky axe? Wait, never mind. So how long are you here."
"We've got five minutes. And that started three minutes ago. So, I just wanted to say that I love you, and that I'll always be there when you need me. Willy, you got anything to say?"
"No," Spike said. "Well, one thing. You blokes owe me."
"Bloody fool," Jase muttered.
"Jase, Spike, thank you," said Faith.
They started to fade away, like dreams.
"Jase! Wait!" yelled the brunette. "I love you!"
"I love you too, babe," he whispered before he faded away forever.
The Scoobies made their way to the hospital, and deposited Xander in the ER. The crew was torn between staying with him or staying with Buffy. So a compromise was made. Anya, Gunn and Wesley (who'd just arrived) would stay with Xander. Tara, Willow and Faith would go to Buffy's room to wait.
"I thought you said..." started Willow, but Tara shushed her. For right at that moment, the EEG monitor started picking up brainwaves.
Minutes later, the blonde slayer was awake, and fully conscious. Willow wept, and Tara held her on her shoulder. Only Faith remained stonefaced. But not for long.
"Faith," whispered Buffy. "Are you here?" Faith was immediately at Buffy's bedside.
"Yeah, B, I'm here."
"Good. There's something I want to say. Something I should've said a long time ago." Her strength was rapidly returning, and her voice was gaining more power by the minute. Her eyes were finally open.
"What is it B? Cos there's some stuff I wanna say, too. I'm sorry. Real sorry. You'll never know how sorry I am for running away like that. I-"
"Faith. Enough. I love you."
"Huh?"
"I said 'I love you.' Is that so hard to understand?"
"Do you mean-"
"Yes Faith. Now come over here and kiss me."
"I love you too, B" Faith whispered as their lips met.
And for the first time in her life, Faith knew true happiness. That kiss set off a spark in her she never knew existed.
Suddenly, the loaded gun in her back pocket went off, lodging a bullet in her brain, killing her instantly.