Crash Into Me
by In-transition
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own nothing here. I'm not that lucky.
Author's Notes: I stole a few quotes from the Dave Matthews Band
song "Crash Into Me" I had an idea for a fic that entwines with the
song but this little story came out. It didn't go where I wanted it
to go but I haven't written anything in a seriously looong time so I
hope it doesn't suck that bad.
Feedback: It's what I live for.
'You've got your ball, You've got your chain, tied to me tight'
I try not to feel the way I do. I know it could never happen between us. But I'm a fool. I can't help myself anymore. I used to be so in control. What happened? I'll tell you what happened. Buffy Summers.
So what. I'm in love. I'm still tough. I still keep my emotions hidden behind a wall. I don't know who I'm trying to convince here. But I know I'm not convincing anyone.
I can tell you exactly when it happened. And exactly how I felt. But that's history. All I'm left with now are these unbearable feelings.
I watch as you stroll in with your mini skirt and killer legs. But I don't stare. I won't let you have the satisfaction. Because I know you can see it in my eyes how much I love you. But you ignore me. You sit down across from me and listen intently to what Giles has to say. You do this thing with your finger and your mouth and you know it drives me crazy. But I don't stare. I sit back and concentrate on counting the books on the shelves. What? It keeps me busy.
I steal a glance at you and you cross your legs. I swear you did it that way to make my body boil. I shift uncomfortably in my seat. You notice and ask if there is something on my mind. I smirk. You know what's on my mind. But you'll ignore it. I just shrug at you and go back to counting.
Finally, meeting adjourned. I get up to leave and don't even look towards you to say goodbye. I figure the less I have to see your face the less I have to feel that pang deep inside of me. I push through the double doors of the library and make my way to leave Sunnydale High School. As soon as I step outside I light myself a cigarette. Just seeing her for 5 minutes makes my adrenaline rise.
I hear footsteps behind me and I peak around to see who it is. It's her. My breath catches in my throat as I see the sun shine down on her. I step towards her and she smiles.
'We gonna patrol tonight.' She says.
I shrug and nod. I lost my will to speak. I figure the less I say to her the less dumb things that come out of my mouth.
'Okay…' There is silence as I'm about to walk away. 'Faith? Are you sure there's nothing on your mind?' She asks. It's strange because she does sound concerned.
'I'm sure.' I say and turn around.
You see I could have spilled my guts and told her how much I loved her. But I already know she knows. So I won't give her the satisfaction of seeing my walls crumble.