Tearstains
by Jacks
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: These characters are not mine, they belong to Joss,
Mutant Enemy, Fox, and the WB. No copyright infringement intended.
Spoilers: Mostly Season Three.
Dedication: This is for Tori, for being so cool, and reading it
before, so I didn't make a fool of myself, and for coming up with a
title for me.
Buffy stared up from the headstone where she sat. She was watching Faith battle a vampire. "You plan on being done soon, I'm hungry?" "I bet!" Faith grunted out as she threw a roundhouse at her opponent. He blocked it and threw his own right hook, knocking the stake out of her hand. "Ass!" she yelled and front kicked him backwards. He stumbled, but stayed on his feet. Faith did a handstand in front of him, using her legs to wrap around his neck. Then she pulled herself down and in the process, pulling the vamp down and straddling him. "Mind?" she asked Buffy pointing to the stake, Buffy had been twirling in her hand. Buffy smiled and handed it over. Faith took it and thrusted it into her adversaries chest. "That took long enough," Buffy stated. "Not all of us get the weenie newbie vamps, B" Faith replied. "Whatever, F," Buffy muttered, knowing full well she did have the easier of the two tonight. "So what do you wanna do now?" She asked. "Well," Faith looked over at Buffy and grinned, "didn't you say something about hunger??" Buffy blushed. "Oh yeah, My mom made her infamous double chocolate chips cookies, this afternoon." "Well I can never turn down. . . chocolate," Faith told her.
"TA DA!" Buffy pronounced as she pulled out an entire plate stacked with cookies. "They're still warm!!" Faith grabbed a couple and ran into the living room, "I'm gonna see what's on TV," she exclaimed. Buffy rolled her eyes. Faith had only been around for about a month, but she was already starting to grow on her. She was definitely fun to be around, and Buffy definitely liked being around her. She couldn't deny that she was attracted to the brunette, but she had decided to keep it to herself, at least until she knew how to deal with it. She also wished she knew more about Faith. She was not exactly an open and sharing type of person. The blaring sounds of the TV startled her out of her deep thinking mode. She started for the living room, when something on the fridge caught her eye. It was a note from her mom:
Buffy, Had to go to L.A for a couple of days. A gallery down there has a few extra pieces for me. There is money in my dresser if you need it. The number where I am staying is 803-564-8754, call me if you need me, and Please be careful. Love, Mom p.s. try not to overstuff yourself on the cookies.
Buffy finished reading and walked into the living room. She was used to her mom leaving for gallery business, and while she never told her mom, she really didn't like staying home alone. She looked over at Faith. She was totally concentrating on a movie. Hey! Maybe she could talk Faith into staying over. Hmm. No! Bad thoughts. She sat down on the couch next to her, and put the cookies down on the table in front of her. "So, what are we watching?" she asked. "Only the original Halloween," Faith told her. "Huh, never seen it" Buffy replied and sat back against the couch, not noticing the look on her brunette-counterpart's face. "You have got to be kidding me," Faith said, her jaw gaping open. "Nope," Buffy focused her attention on the TV, "oh my god! That guy just cut that other guy open, and Eww!" Faith laughed at her. "B, we see worse every day." "I know, but this is different," Buffy whined. "Whatever," Faith muttered and returned her attention to the movie.
Faith sat on the couch watching the credits roll on the TV. "Now that is a classic," she informed Buffy. But she got no reply. She turned and saw the blonde slayer curled up and sleeping on her side of the couch. How could she fall asleep? Faith wondered if she should just let her sleep and leave or if she should wake her. She looked pretty peaceful, not to mention cute, when she slept. Oh, well. She shouldn't have fell asleep. Faith leaned over and put her hand on Buffy's shoulder. "B," she said shaking her hard. "B, wake up, the movie's over." Buffy's eyes slowly opened. She sat up, half asleep. "Over? I missed it, darn," she said sarcastically. "Man you have no taste in movies, B," Faith told her. "Ok, next time we watch Breakfast Club, and we'll see who falls asleep. Now that movie is a classic." Faith stuck her finger down her throat and made gagging sounds. "Shut up! What time is it anyway?" Buffy asked. "Umm, it's about quarter `till one," Faith replied looking at the VCR, "I should probably go," she started towards the door. "Hey, it's getting late, and . . . maybe you should just stay here," Buffy offered, "besides my mom went out of town, and I'd be here alone anyway." "Ya afraid of the dark, B?" Faith teased. "No!" Buffy answered quickly. Faith looked around unsure. "C'mon," Buffy practically pleaded. "Oh, all right," Faith said, acting like it was a big deal. Well, for her it was. "Cool!" Buffy said. She locked the front door and turned off all the lights and the two headed upstairs.
"Let's see," Buffy said as she went through her drawer, looking for some clothes for Faith to borrow, "I have some sweatpants and a old cheerleading T-shirt." "Cheerleading, B?" Faith asked in disbelief. "Something wrong with cheerleading?" Buffy challenged. "Nah," Faith said, taking the clothes from her, "y'know, I usually sleep in the nude." Buffy face flushed. "Not tonight, you're not," she answered, nervously laughing to herself. Faith shrugged and took off her shirt. Buffy quickly turned, not expecting that. She heard Faith chuckle under her breath. Buffy turned, averted her eyes, and went out the door to change in the bathroom.
When she came back, Faith had changed and had one of her pillows on the ground next to her bed. "What are you doin'?" Buffy inquired. "Getting ready to sleep?" Faith guessed. "No, I mean, you can sleep on the bed, the ground is really hard," Buffy answered. Faith looked at her, "are you sure?" Oh yeah, Buffy thought, but instead replied "of course." Satisfied with her answer, Faith grabbed the pillow and jumped up into the bed and sprawled herself across it. Buffy glared at her, "but you will have to share." "Ahh," Faith moaned, but complied. Buffy turned out the light and got under the covers. "Nite, Faith." "Nite, B," Faith mumbled, already half-asleep.
She was dreaming. She knew it because she had this dream every night. And it always ended the same. She looked around. She was in her old apartment, back in Boston, and she was just a little girl. And she waited. She knew he would come, and she learned it was useless to fight or hide from him. He always got her. She heard a door slam, and an inebriated voice began to shout. She listened to a second voice, arguing with the first. The dispute got louder, until she heard a smack and a body drop. Her eyes shut and she quickly dove under her "bed." It was no use, though. He would find her. She watched his boots walk into the room, and no matter how many times she prayed that he would walk out, she saw him stop and drop to his knees. Then she saw him; his face peeked under the bed. "Hey baby," he would slur, "why don't you come out heah and pway wit Daddy?" She hesitated for a second, but it was enough, she felt a hand grab her roughly and pull her out from underneath her safe haven. He held her up and threw her on the bed. "Daddy don't wike when you hide fwom hem," she would hear, "you need to be punished!" "No Daddy!" she would cry, but it made no difference, he never stopped.
Buffy awakened at the rough tossing and turning of her friend. Then she heard muffled sobs. She twisted around to look at Faith. She had her face in the pillow. She was definitely mumbling something, but Buffy could tell that she was still asleep. Buffy leaned in, not knowing what to expect. "No Daddy, please!" She heard Faith's rough voice whimper. Buffy froze in shock, her heart breaking and her eyes tearing at the sound of Faith in so much pain. She swallowed, and gently reached her hand out to put on Faith's shoulder. "Faith," she whispered, "wake up." She carefully shook her. "Faith, hun, wake up," she tried again. All of the sudden, Faith flipped over and sat straight up. Her eyes were red from crying and her hair was dampened from the sweat.
Faith looked around the room, forgetting where she was. Then it hit her. She was at Buffy's. Shit! She turned her head and saw a very concerned-looking Buffy. "Faith, are you all right?" Buffy asked softly. Damn, she did not need this. She lay back down, facing away from Buffy. "Five by five, B," she said, but not before her voice broke. "Faith, are you su . . . ?" "I said I was fine," Faith cut her off. After a few minutes, she felt Buffy get up and heard her walk out of the room. Great, now I've scared her off. Faith closed her eyes tightly and allowed another tear to escape.
Buffy watched Faith in silence, after she cut her off. Faith said she was fine, but Buffy knew otherwise. She felt Faith shaking even now, laying there. Buffy got up and walked to the bathroom. She turned on the light and grabbed a washcloth. She ran it under cool water, wrung it, and turned out the light. She walked back into her bedroom. She set the washcloth on her nightstand and crawled into bed, but in the sitting position. "Faith, sit up," she instructed grabbing Faith by her shoulders and pulling her into a sitting position as well, which was not easy considering she was not cooperating. She reached over and grabbed the wet cloth with one hand. With the other, she tilted Faith's face so she could look at her. Her eyes held so much sadness. She wiped her face and the tearstains on her cheeks. She wiped her forehead and the back of her neck, where she had been sweating. "Feel better?" she asked. Faith just nodded. "Ok," Buffy said and she turned Faith's damp pillow over to a dry side, "Faith, I understand if you don't want to talk about it, but if you want to, I will always listen." Faith looked at her in disbelief, never had she gotten this special treatment from anyone, ever. "Yeah," she whispered. Buffy put her arm around Faith's shoulders and pulled them both down. She wrapped her other arm around her in a protective fashion and held her until she fell asleep.
Faith woke up first. It was still dark outside, so she turned to see what time it was, when she realized that the blonde was still holding her. It felt really good. She wanted it to last forever. She tilted her head up and saw that Buffy was still sleeping. She looked so beautiful. Faith watched her for a while. Then, before she could stop herself, she slowly moved up and placed a gentle kiss on Buffy's lips. They were so soft. Then Buffy stirred. "Faith?" she questioned half-asleep, her eyes fluttering open. Oh shit, Faith thought, now I've done it. And before Buffy could say anything else, Faith got up and walked quickly out of the room.
Buffy sat up in her bed, after watching Faith walk out. It took her a minute to realize exactly what had happened. One minute she was dreaming and then next, she was waking up to Faith kissing her. At first, Buffy didn't know if it was real or part of her dream, being as how she was actually dreaming about her. She got out of her bed and went to find Faith. She hadn't heard any doors slam, so she was pretty sure she was still here. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that she had never felt as strongly for anyone then she did for Faith, not even Angel. And maybe it was because they were both Slayers and had a bond, or something. Buffy slowly walked out of her room and started down the stairs. She found Faith curled up, laying on the couch in the living room.
Stupid, stupid, stupid! Faith banged her head against the armrest of Buffy's couch. She just had to push her luck. But she couldn't bring herself to walk out; she wanted Buffy to have to kick her out. She heard her coming down the stairs. Faith prepared herself for a violent reaction, probably one involving Faith getting her ass kicked out the door and/or being told to leave town. She felt B sit down at the other end of the couch. Faith braced herself, anticipating anything, anything but what actually came out of Buffy's mouth. "Why?" she heard Buffy ask.
She was sitting next to Faith, waiting for an answer. She had to know why. Did Faith kiss her because she was unusually horny all the time? The `ol "get some, get gone" routine. Anything without a commitment. Or because maybe, she felt the same as Buffy did. The intense energy that was created every time they were together, the smile that always seemed to creep on her face every time she thought of her. Faith was silent, so Buffy tried again. "Faith, why did you kiss me?" she asked delicately.
Faith heard her ask again. She took a deep breath, "Why does it matter, Buffy?" her voice shaking.
Now Buffy knew it must have been more than just a kiss, it had to have meant more. Faith only used her entire name when she was serious, plus her voice lacked its familiar sarcasm. She scooted closer to Faith. "It matters to me."
Faith tried to swallow the lump in her throat, but it was pointless. She jumped up off the couch and began to pace around in front of the couch. She ran her fingers through her hair, roughly. "Why? You want to know why? It isn't obvious?" She stopped and looked at B, the confusion on her face answered her question. She sighed deeply and began to pace again. She felt tears coming to the surface of her eyes. "Because . . . I have fallen for ya, Buffy. And ever since I saw you for the first time, every time we go slaying together, every time we spar, every time I know I'm gonna see ya, hell, every time I actually do see you, I get these warm, fuzzy feelings in the pit of my stomach. Sometimes it's so strong I get dizzy. It's like a rush." She paused, a single tear slipped out. She quickly wiped it away. "I've never felt anything like this before in my entire life and I'm not the world's greatest expert on love, since I've never had it, but I think that . . ." She stopped and took a deep breath. "IthinkthatI'minlovewithyou," she mumbled as fast as she could. Faith put her hands over her watery eyes, which were closed firmly. She waited for the inevitable outburst, filled with disgust, and even worse, rejection. She peeked between her fingers to look at Buffy. She sat there with a dazed look on her face. Faith shut her fingers and continued to stand, even though she was sure her knees would give out at any moment.
Buffy sat on the couch, staring at Faith. In less than thirty seconds, Faith had described the exact feelings Buffy had. But she had honestly not known Faith had felt so deeply for her. Buffy stood up and walked over to her. She took Faith's hands off of her face and looked at her. "Why didn't you say anything before?"
Faith stared at Buffy in skepticism. "C'mon B," she said. Buffy just looked right back at her, waiting for a response. "I had heard all about Angel, the whole big love, big loss thing. How you were so upset and couldn't deal that you ran away." Buffy's eyes flickered in pain for a moment, and she turned her head. "Oh man, I'm sorry Buffy, I shouldn't have . . ." Faith started, but she was cut off by Buffy's lips. Faith's mind reeled. Buffy's lips. Buffy Summers' lips. It took her a second to grasp the fact that this was real, and then she began to kiss her back.
Buffy felt Faith begin to kiss her back. It was explosive and it grew in intensity, until Buffy thought she would explode. So she pulled away. Her heart was pounding so hard, she thought it was going to jump right out of her chest. Buffy glanced up at Faith. There was still a look of shock on Faith's face. "I should probably tell you my part now." Faith just nodded, incapable of speaking. Buffy sat back down on the couch and Faith sat next to her. "Everything you said just now, it was as if you were describing my exact feelings." Buffy looked down at her lap. "And you were right, Angel was a big part of my life, and I didn't know how to deal with it. I ran away from my problems, and even after I came back I was still feeling it." She looked back up and saw that Faith's eyes had clouded over. "Buffy, you don't have to explain it to me," she told her quietly. Buffy grabbed Faith's hand and continued, "but then you came, and just being around you, all my bad feelings were dissolving away, and they were being replaced by all these new and exciting feelings I had every time I saw you. You helped me to get over Angel. And let me tell ya, whatever I had felt for Angel, even at its strongest moment . . . what I feel when I'm with you, it's magnified like by 500," Buffy finished. She felt herself begin to blush. She looked at Faith, who actually looked as though she was gonna cry again.
"Oh, no there will be no more crying here," Faith heard Buffy say as she tilted Faith's face towards her own. Faith chuckled softly and gazed into Buffy's eyes with her own. Then she leaned in and kissed her. It was so gentle, but at the same time, made her feel like her heart was setting off little fireworks. When they finally pulled away, Faith thought she had died and gone to heaven. "Wow," she breathed. "Wow, is an understatement, it's more like . . ." Buffy paused, she was at a loss for words. Faith continued, "someone is shoving a 5000-volt wire up my . . ." and she stopped, realizing she was talking out loud. "Nice visual," Buffy joked. "Hmm, maybe we should do it again," Faith offered. "I think so," Buffy agreed. They met each other halfway, and continued kissing until they both fell asleep on the couch in each other's arms, and this time, Faith didn't have any nightmares.