Yours Faithfully
by James
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Sadly, I own nothing, Joss and ME own everything.
Dedication: For Sarah, who believed I could do anything I set my
mind to.
Feedback: As much as possible...it's my first fic so I need feedback
like I need air.
"Hey, B. How's it?" Faith said as she answered the phone. She waited for Buffy to reply, then practically on autopilot Faith shot back, "Yeah. Five by five. I'll come right on over."
As she hung up, she thought wearily of how she'd do anything for Buffy…B. Everyone knew about the Slayers Bond between them, how they hated the fact that, underneath it all, they loved each other. Even though they both denied it.
Faith got up from the bed in her hotel room and pulled on her dark denim jacket over her red tank top. "I can't believe this. She calls and I come running. I swear I'm losing it…" Faith whispered to nobody in particular, and pulled the door shut behind her.
As Faith walked up to Buffy's front door, she was shocked as it swung violently open. Jumping back just in time, the brunette watched Tara run out and onto the front lawn.
"You don't understand, Tara, it's not like that!" Willow called from inside.
"No? Well what is it like, Willow?! If you really wanted me, why did you let it happen? You could have said no," Tara cried.
Willow walked calmly out of the house, but being so close, Faith could see the beginnings of tears in her sad eyes. "I do want you. You're the only one I want. I don't know why I did it. I shouldn't have. But, come on baby, please, let's just go inside and talk about it."
Faith glanced from Willow to Tara, getting lost in their anger and forgetting why she was there. Tara looked up at Willow with a hint of pity in her eyes, and in her voice, and said, "I can't. Not this time, Wills. It's over."
Willow stood silent for a moment and from where Faith was standing she could see the redheaded girl's chest beginning to heave faster as she tried not to cry. She let one rogue tear roll slowly down her cheek before shuffling silently inside, Faith following close behind.
"So what was that all about, Red?" Faith inquired.
Willow expressed a quick, "Nothing," and disappeared upstairs.
"What am I walking into, B? This house must be cursed or something. Nothing good ever happens here." 'Except you,' Faith thought afterward.
Buffy walked out from the kitchen carrying a stack of books she was looking over. "It's not the house, Faith. Bad stuff just happens around slayers," she said, not looking up from her books.
"Tell me about it," Faith shot back, "I got stuck with you didn't I?" She began to chuckle to herself.
When Buffy looked up she had that 'gimme-a-break' look on her face that Faith had seen so many times before. Humour was Faith's way of dealing, Buffy knew that, but it still bugged her that Faith couldn't be serious for more than a minute.
"So what's the sitch?" Faith asked Buffy, who was now sitting on a couch scanning the numerous books she had brought out with her.
"What sitch?" Buffy looked up, confused.
"You know, you picked up the phone, dialled my number and demanded that I get my ass over here? Ring any bells?" Faith's sarcasm was always one thing Buffy loved to hate about her. No matter how sarcastic Faith became, or how angry it made Buffy feel, she always found herself grinning contently after hearing it.
Secretly, Buffy admired Faith. Her ability to find the funny side of every situation, to take what she wanted, to give in to the intense, raw emotion of being bad sometimes. Faith was someone Buffy could never, and would never, be.
"Faith!"
Faith turned just in time to see Dawn rush at her and fling her arms around the tall brunette.
"Whoa, D! What's with the warm welcome?!"
Dawn looked like an awkward schoolgirl when she answered, "Uh, nothing. I just…haven't seen you in a while is all…" and Faith could see the slight flush of pink in Dawn's cheeks.
Faith pulled away from Dawn's grip and said, "Well it's only been like two days, but whatever…I'm happy to see you too. So, B, why'd you call?"
"Oh that. I was just going to ask you if you wanted to come to the Bronze tonight. That's all," Buffy said with a shrug of her shoulders.
Faith screwed up her face and looked intently at Buffy. "Kinda sounded more serious than that but hell, I could be wrong. I'll go back to my place and get changed. Meet you there."
"Nine" Buffy said, looking over at Faith, "Sharp."
At the Bronze the music was pumping and Faith could feel the bass deep down in her chest. In fact, the thud of the bass coursing through her body every few seconds was enough to make Faith shudder with excitement. 'It's just nerves,' she thought to herself, 'Wait a minute, since when do I get nervous?' Even more exciting though, was the fact that this was the first time in almost a year when Buffy had asked her to do anything together. Usually it was Faith making all the moves. All the wrong ones too, or so it seemed lately.
"This seat taken?"
Faith quickly remembered where she was. Lost in her thoughts of Buffy, yet again. Surprise, surprise. Feeling a little embarrassed she tried to cover up the things she was thinking just moments before. "Not if you're paying," Faith piped up, a slight smile forming on her beautiful face. Buffy turned to walk away and Faith shouted back over the loud music, "Ok. First drink's on me."
"That's better," Buffy mused, "didn't your mother ever teach you how to treat a lady?"
Faith's face lost all expression at the mention of her mom, and Buffy realised her mistake.
"Look, Faith, I didn't mean to…"
"B, it's cool. You forgot. It happens."
But even in the dim lights of the Bronze Faith could see the worry in Buffy's face, and the blush in her cheeks.
"Cool it, B. Really. It's ok." Faith tried to convince Buffy, but it almost seemed it was herself that she was trying to convince.
Buffy felt like a fool for bringing up Faith's mother and it was plain to see. Trying to lighten the mood, Faith leaned in to her and whispered, "Just so you know, now wouldn't be a great time to remind me of that time I tried to kill you either."
The small blonde girl started to laugh, but her laughter was cut short by Faith's lips being pressed against her own. Buffy had always known there was something more than what Faith was letting on, but the kiss certainly came as a surprise at that particular moment.
"Wh-what…I…you…" Buffy stammered, but she had been so caught up in the moment that forming sentences had become completely beyond her.
For the first time ever, Buffy saw Faith look uncertain, scared even. "Look, Buffy, I didn't…I mean, I just thought…" Faith composed herself, "I felt something, and I thought you felt it too."
"You called me Buffy…it's been a long time."
Faith stared into Buffy's eyes, unsure of what she should be doing, feeling, thinking, but this time it was Buffy to make the move. First touching Faith's face, running her smooth fingertips down one cheek, feeling the heat radiating from the woman in front of her. She ran one finger over Faith's lips, feeling them tremble, before leaning in again to taste them.
This was a new feeling to Faith. Vulnerability.
"Listen, B," Faith pulled her head away from the softest kiss she had ever experienced, breathing too deeply not to have enjoyed it. "We need to talk about this."
"Are you feeling ok?" Buffy asked, "Faith becoming rational. Never thought I'd see the day."
A smile played over Faith's lips as she said, "It's not that, B. It's just…you know what my motto has always been…" Buffy mouthed it with her as she said it, "Get some, get gone. Exactly. That's the way it's always been for me…but I don't want that this time. No more back seats of cars, no more 'out back of the Bronze'…all I want is just you and me."
Buffy's face changed to a much more serious tone, "Faith, I…I don't know what to say. I mean, I always kind of figured that this was what you were about, but I never thought you could be so…so…" She struggled to find the word.
"Annoying? Weak? Pathetic?" Faith chimed in.
"Soft."
"Look, B. There's a lot that you don't know. I mean, I have love…uh… liked you for as long as I can remember, but I never wanted to admit that. Not to you, not to anybody. You clouded my judgement, my thoughts, my feelings. You were everywhere…and I never thought I was good enough for you." On finishing her sentence Faith looked away and over to the crowd. "I remember dancing in there with you. Touching you all over, because I knew there was no suspicion. Feeling your skin against my hands…we danced here so often and every time it was the same, but every time felt like the first."
The blonde slayer let out a breath she realised she had been holding and began to talk. "Faith, I've never known you to be so honest about this kind of thing. You…the you that I used to know…would bottle everything up until patrol, then take it all out on the vamps we dusted, but tonight…"
Faith could feel her face going red. 'I've never been one to blush either,' she thought, 'I was right, I am losing it.'
"Let's leave it at this for tonight, B. You know what they say about too much, too soon."
Buffy glanced up at Faith as she stood to leave. "No, what's that?"
"I may understand you in a way that nobody else can, but too much, too soon and we'll kill what little chance we may have, before we can explore it. Think about it."
Torn.
Giles, the Scooby Gang. How would they take the news that Buffy wanted to be with the "Evil Slayer", the slayer that tried to kill them all. If she didn't tell them, she'd be betraying them, if she did tell them, she'd be hurting them. As she watched Faith slip out through the crowd as though she were never there, Buffy felt a pain in her chest. At that moment she knew exactly how Willow felt when Tara walked out.
The lock on Faith's front door turned and the door creaked open slowly. As Faith walked in, she shrugged off her denim jacket, still shaking slightly from the preceding events. She stood silently in the middle of her small hotel room for a moment, staring blankly ahead of her, then she began to laugh.
"No words," she told herself in disbelief. "Since when did Faith ever become speechless?"
She smiled to herself as she walked into her tiny bathroom. Finally, after almost three years of knowing the phenomena that is Miss Summers, and searching for almost as long for a clue, some clue, that Buffy felt the same, she was getting somewhere.
The taps of the shower creaked as Faith started the water. She pulled her tank top up and over her head, revealing perfectly rounded breasts and a toned, flat stomach. Removing her tight blue jeans, Faith took a glance in the mirror at her sleek body. "She wants me, at last," she thought. "At last."
Stepping under the hot water, Faith let it run over her body, tracing its path down the glistening white flesh of her stomach to the sweetness below. Faith began to think of Buffy, her lips, her eyes, her skin, her legs, and a wetness began to form between her thighs. Faith imagined looking at Buffy's naked body, and running her hands all over her. She reached up for her own breasts, kneading them with her hands and fingertips, and let out a long, low moan of pleasure from deep in her throat.
Already immensely aroused by then, Faith knew she couldn't hold out any longer. She pushed two fingers slowly inside herself, thrusting them in and out and rubbing her hard nub with her thumb. With the water running over her, the stimulation was doubled and it didn't take long before her knees became weak.
Each thrust became harder than the last and, as she felt the pressure rise up within her, her breath quickened. One last thrust and she couldn't stand any longer. She fell to her knees and felt the eruption of her orgasm course through her weakening body, multiple tremors disabling her as she came.
She knelt there for a few moments catching her breath, but as she stood to clean up, she couldn't help but let the sly smile crawl slowly back across her lips.
"This is it, B. I can feel it. You're going to be mine."
Notes: Em is my beta girl I love ya chick! Oh, and yes, things with Willow will be sorted out, just not at this stage. Thank you and goodnight ladies and gentlemen.
Buffy woke with a start as she heard the phone ring. The digital alarm clock beside her bed read 3:06 am, and as displeased as Buffy was with being awoken, when Faith's voice emerged on the line, she wasn't quite as annoyed anymore.
"Faith, it's three am," Buffy interjected.
"Don't sweat it, B. I haven't slept since I got home and I'm five by five. I feel better now than I have felt in a long time."
There was an unusual, happy bounce in Faith's voice as she spoke, an inflection that Buffy hadn't heard from her since those very first months that she'd been in Sunnydale.
"Look Faith, I'd love to stay and chat, but I kinda have some sleeping to do." Faith's voice faltered as she said, "So that's how it is, huh B?" Waking up a little, Buffy replied, "Ok, Faith. Have it your way. What do you want?" There was a short silence on the line, and then she answered, "You."
'I'm way too tired and confused for your games right now,' Buffy thought. "So," she said, "imagine you've got me. What now?"
"You hungry?"
Buffy's lips curled into a smile at the old phrase she knew so well.
"Starved."
When the two women finally hung up the phone it was almost four. As both drifted back to sleep, each one thinking of the other, the dopey, but oh-so-cute, schoolgirl grins never left their faces.
Faith looked at the clock. Almost eleven am.
That hour talking to Buffy on the phone must have been good, because afterwards Faith slept like a baby. They talked about everything, from slaying, to Dawn, to the night they danced at the Bronze.
Everything except what had happened the night before. Faith played around the subject once or twice, not willing to say too much and she could tell that Buffy had wanted a few times to talk about it, but other than that, nothing.
Most of all, Faith had wondered why she couldn't live by her motto where Buffy was concerned. It seemed that when a certain small blonde was involved, 'Get some, get gone' simply wasn't a part of Faith's vocabulary anymore. Buffy Summers had done it to her again. Ever since she had known Buffy, Faith had been so smitten with her that she would have done almost anything for her, and anything to keep her from finding that out. And when Faith was in prison, Buffy was all she thought about, she never stopped loving her. Then, after her release, after the reconciliation that took months for her to even work herself up to, when Buffy was possessed by the Kaelis Demon, Faith's feelings hadn't left her as such, but were put on hold. Now that Buffy was back, was herself again for the first time in what seemed like forever, Faith's feelings were slowly rewriting themselves into her mind and heart.
Emerging from under the covers wearing nothing but skin, Faith pulled on her black leather pants and white tank top. She wasn't sure whether she should go see Buffy right away after their phone session the night before, or whether she should wait until the next rendezvous at the Bronze.
It was decided quickly that she would wait for patrol tonight and join Buffy then. "I've never had to think so much in my life. This whole loving - liking - Buffy thing just takes it right outta me," Faith mumbled to herself, shaking her head. 'Oh, who am I kidding,' she thought, 'I love her and we both know it.' She hated the fact that neither of them had admitted it to themselves or each other. She hated Buffy for it and most of all she hated herself for it. But now, more than ever, Faith was determined to make Buffy tell her the truth, to make her say exactly what she felt.
Moving around the quiet house, Dawn at school and Willow over at the Magic Shop, Buffy took pleasure in having a few moments to herself. No vampires beating down her door, no flashbacks, no pain. Just an average day. Something Buffy hadn't experienced in the longest time.
Having Dawn relying on her constantly now meant that Buffy had very little time to sit and watch life move by, and even less time to relax, but ever since her close encounter at the Bronze, she had done nothing but. Faith could do that to people. She could make them feel at their most tense if she wanted to, but if the tables turned and she wanted to see you cool it for a while, that was completely within her power also. Sometimes it felt as if Faith could do everything short of stopping time. And then there were the times you thought she might be capable of that as well.
The thing that was getting to Buffy was that it was unlike her to give Faith a second thought, let alone a million more after that. The only time that Buffy remembered feeling so entranced was when Willow had cast a love spell over her. It was the same, yet different, because Buffy didn't love Willow. 'Of course, not to say I love Faith,' the tired blonde thought quickly, 'that's crazy, she tried to kill me.'
But repression had never worked for Buffy before, and even she could see it wasn't going to start now.
"Giles, what do you think is going on with Buffy? She's been kinda 'twilight zone' since last night. I saw her this morning and she couldn't stop smiling even though she said herself that she wasn't at all too happy about something. I don't know what's going on but it's either really, really good or very, very bad." Willow drew in a deep breath and fidgeted with her laptop as she spoke. Giles looked up from his texts, only slightly concerned for the slayer. "I wouldn't worry Willow. Knowing Buffy it's probably nothing. And if it is something, let us hope it is the former, rather than the latter."
Looking nervously back at her computer screen, Willow said, "Well I, for one, am not a dummy – "
Her speech was interrupted by Xander's laughter. "Oh, sorry, Wills. You meant that last part?"
Willow seemed slightly embarrassed but continued, "I'm not a dummy. I know it has something to do with Faith. This only started after they agreed to meet each other down at the Bronze last night, and Buffy has been smiling like a fool ever since."
Both Giles and Xander seemed amused yet slightly bewildered at Willow's choice of words.
"I'm serious here," Willow burst out, "something happened there last night. I don't know what, and I'm not sure I actually want to know, but it involved Faith. And we're sure not being included in the game this time."
Willow. Always the serious type. "It doesn't matter what you think. I'm going to find out what it is," she said to nobody in particular.
That night, after Dawn was sent to bed, Buffy got changed into something more comfortable for slaying and headed out for patrol. Tonight, like most other nights she patrolled, was deadly quiet, as were most times when vampires were involved. Buffy didn't know what she wanted, and that bothered her. Feeling the urgent need to release her frustration, Buffy called out, beckoned for vamps all over this block and the neighbouring block to show themselves. The slayer was on a rampage.
Unfortunately, her beckons worked a little too well and soon almost every vampire within a half-mile radius surrounded her.
"Wow, the mod squad's out in full force tonight, huh?" Buffy teased.
As the vamps began lurching towards the small blonde she taunted, "You know what? I really don't like confrontation…I should probably just be going right?"
The biggest of the vampires surrounding her finally pounced and, in one swift motion, Buffy produced a newly sharpened stake and drove it through the vamps flesh.
"Hmm. Guess not. Well, you know what they say – ashes to ashes, vamps to dust…"
With that, two more angry creatures heaved themselves at the small figure fighting in front of them. Producing another stake from the pocket of her jacket, Buffy raced at the furious pair and ducked under their grasp, turning around just as swiftly and driving the two stakes home into the evil creatures. Fighting off three more, Buffy didn't anticipate the vampire who had concealed himself, and as she dusted two of his companions, he struck, hitting her from behind.
Another figure stepped among the crowd and a familiar voice began to speak. "Need a partner, B?" Faith said with a chuckle.
"Yeah…or ten."
They fought side by side as they had done many times before, and Buffy couldn't help noticing that Faith still felt the same adrenaline from a good slaying, even after being out of action so long. After getting out of prison, Faith's privilege of patrolling with Buffy was taken, along with most of her freedom. Faith trained, but never fought or killed because it would only bring back memories, and more suspicion upon herself.
They fought until not one vampire was left. All had been turned to dust by the hands of the Chosen Two.
It was then that Buffy turned to Faith. "Come and stay at my house tonight, we have a lot to talk about and…" she added hesitantly.
Faith cocked an eyebrow. "And?"
Buffy looked away as she said, "I'd feel better if you were there…"
Still talking about the slaying that had just taken place, the two slayers stepped inside the entrance to Buffy's house. There, sitting on the couch, was Dawn.
"Dawn, you were supposed to be in bed."
"I'm not tired," the youngster shrugged, "and anyways, now that Faith's here I have some stuff I wanted to talk to her about."
A wide grin played upon Faith's lips as she gasped, "Ooh, sounds serious," in a more-than-sarcastic tone.
Dawn heard a voice echo in her mind, 'You don't know how right you are.'
"Anyway D, I'm just gonna go put my things upstairs and I'll be right down. Then we can do the whole small talk gig."
Faith ran up the stairs, taking two at a time as she'd always done, but Buffy had only just noticed it. "Why does she do that?" Dawn asked, as if reading her sister's mind. Buffy tried to act confused, but found herself completely unable to do so. "Do what?"
"The stairs. Why does she skip every second one?"
The two watched Faith disappear up the stairs before turning and shrugging to each other. Neither knew why she did it, and although it was only a trivial part of Faith, at that moment, it was secretly important to each of them to know why Faith did the things she did.
"I'm going to go get changed for bed, Dawn. I know you wanted to talk to Faith about something but don't be too long, it's already well past midnight and I don't want you tired and annoying in the morning. Night," Buffy ruffled Dawn's hair and kissed her forehead on the way past, then climbed the stairs.
Faith passed her on her way back down. "You heading to bed, B?"
Buffy nodded, "Yeah, I'm beat."
Faith's face dropped in mock sadness, "Damn, and I was hoping to get some tonight too, honey."
Nerves quickly showed on Buffy's face as it turned red. "Hell, you're so cute when you're blushing." With a throaty chuckle she added, "Chill, B. I'm only kidding. You take me way too seriously sometimes."
Dawn, listening to their playful banter from the couch in the living room, felt hurt rising from the pit of her stomach. 'She's never like that with me,' she thought, 'it's always about Buffy.'
"What's always about B?" Faith asked as she walked into the living room. Feeling a little embarrassed, Dawn hadn't realized she had said that out loud. She quickly averted the conversation, "Um, nothing…I really wanted to talk to you about something though."
"Yeah I kinda got that part, kiddo." Faith replied, sitting on the couch beside the young girl.
Kiddo. Dawn wondered if Faith really did just think of her as some kid, too young to know the difference between what she wanted and what she thought she wanted.
"So what is it? Sounds kinda important so I won't rush you, but I'd like to sleep sometime between now and, oh I dunno, say…midday?" Faith's eyes shone as she chuckled to herself. They were so beautiful they could leave you breathless.
Dawn took a deep breath. "You've been around my sister for a long time," she started, "and in that amount of time I'd say I got to know you pretty well, and I guess I kind of thought of you as another big sister for a while there."
Faith, as she always did, found the amusing side of the conversation that was taking place. "Aww, that's sweet, D. I'll keep it in here forever," she said, placing her hand over her heart.
Dawn swallowed hard. "Please just hear me out. I know I'm young. I know a lot of the time we have spent together has revolved around some vamp situation, or some supernatural, witch thing…or around Buffy."
The direction of the conversation was starting to genuinely confuse Faith. "Where's this going, squirt?"
"I'm trying, Faith…I'm trying to tell you that…I like you," Dawn said looking down at her hands in her lap.
"Yeah, I like you too, D, but I still don't get where this is going."
"No, you don't understand. I mean I like you. As in the I-want-to-be- with-you, want-you-to-hold-me, want-to-kiss-you-every-time-I-see- you, kind of like." Dawn replied, wishing she had of thought about that before she said it.
Faith, looked even more confused about the whole situation now. "Look, Dawn…I…"
"You don't have to say anything, Faith," Dawn interrupted, "I know you don't feel that way about me. I mean, I guess I'm kinda young for you anyway, but I understand. I just couldn't sit back and watch you be like that with her…" a tear began to roll down Dawn's face, "when I wish every single day that it was me." She began to sob. "She's my sister, Faith. It's just so hard to watch you want her, when I want you."
"Me? Want B?" Faith said trying to sound surprised. Sarcastic she did well, surprised, not so much.
Dawn wiped another tear away from her face. "Don't deny it, Faith. It's plain to see that you love her. The way you look at her, the way you'd do anything for her. It kills you that you can't say no, but it kills me too."
Faith's mind started racing. 'Why me? Why now?' She thought. 'I can barely handle myself. I`m only just learning how to handle B. Now Dawn too? I don't want to upset her, but I've never had to care about anybody before.'
Wanting to comfort Dawn, Faith nervously put her arms around her. She could feel Dawn's sobs against her shoulder as she began to speak.
"Look, D. I'm not very good at this stuff. Relationships and caring never really was my strong point, but I've learned to care about you and Buffy, and even the scoobies at times. I'm not going to let this change anything between us, we always had fun together and we always will. You're right, I do care about B. But that doesn't mean I care about you any less. You and B have been like the only real family I ever had and I don't intend on messing that up again after…after what happened. My point is that it's wicked fucking awesome that you care about me. It may not be in the same way as I love B, but you gotta remember that I do love you, D. Listen to me, you'll be fine. Right?"
Dawn looked at Faith, a slight smile showing from what she'd just heard. "Right."
'What is it with this family?' Faith thought. 'Love triangles really aren't my thing.'
Opening the door slowly, Faith crept into Buffy's room, wondering if she was asleep.
"What's wrong, Faith?"
Obviously not.
"Uh, just getting my stuff, B. I put my bag in here when we got back from patrol. I'll be out in a minute," Faith said, scrambling for her things.
"No." Buffy sat up.
"No, what?" It seemed to Faith that she was becoming confused more times than she felt at ease with tonight.
Quietly, Buffy said, "No, I don't want you to sleep downstairs tonight."
Faith stopped picking up her things. "You realize that there are only two other upstairs bedrooms and Dawn and Willow do inhabit them, don't you, B?" Faith never ceased to amaze herself with her quick wit, again laughing at her own joke.
"You know what I mean. I want you to stay with me. I mean, I guess it isn't like me to be asking you to do this right now, but then again it wasn't like me to be kissing you last night either. Please, stay."
Faith found herself crawling onto Buffy's bed. Continuing to move up to where Buffy was lying, Faith stopped just inches away from the other slayer's face. "Screamer?"
Smiling nervously, Buffy said, "We'll see."
Faith leaned forward, laying Buffy down and placing her own body over the beautiful blonde in front of her. Feeling the warmth between them, Faith placed a gentle kiss on Buffy's neck, sending a shiver through her entire body. She moved herself down Buffy's body, placing kisses all over her, and stopping to rest her head on her toned stomach.
"Hey, B?"
"Yeah."
"What about too much, too soon?" Uncertainty was in Faith's voice.
Buffy began to stroke Faith's hair, brushing a stray strand from her face. "I get it, Faith, but instead of too much, too soon, how about… one step at a time?"
A feeling of relief came over Faith as she looked up at the woman she loved. She nodded.
Faith traced her fingers over the tiny blonde's stomach feeling the muscles tense beneath her, then began to rise. Moving above Buffy, she looked into her eyes. So deep. So strong. So hungry. Buffy wrapped her arms around Faith's neck and pulled herself up to kiss her, a long passionate kiss. Faith felt Buffy's tongue searching the depths of her warm mouth and kissed her back, hard and desperate. Their bodies pressed together, the sweet noises each girl made as they kissed, it all felt so right.
The pair removed their clothing slowly, one piece at a time, stopping only to admire each other. As the cold night air brushed Faith's nipples, Buffy ran a finger down between her breasts, then pulled her close.
Faith trailed a hand down her sister slayer's side, across her hip, and finally laid it to rest in the dark curls of hair between her thighs.
"Please," Buffy whispered.
Never in a million years would Faith have thought this day would be possible. Never would she have believed that Buffy would be begging for her touch. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world.
Faith's fingertips were cool against Buffy's sensitive skin, and as she ran two fingers down Buffy's body further and into her core, a moan escaped her lips. Buffy gripped Faith's hips, pulling her in even closer. Moving her fingers to a slow rhythm, Faith had never been more gentle with anyone. Not like this.
Buffy's muscles tensed slowly around the fingers inside her, and the sensations she was feeling brought her close to the edge many times, but instead she slowed herself. She wanted tonight to last. Her hips moved with Faith's hand, bucking slightly with every touch.
After what seemed like an eternity, Faith removed her fingers and replaced them with her tongue. Licking and sucking at her lover's warm juices, nibbling softly at her. It was not difficult to tell Faith had done this before. Buffy's sighs of pleasure were enough to bring Faith close to release many times, without so much as a touch.
Still sucking and licking, Faith pushed a finger inside Buffy and began plunging it in and out of the deep, wet soul of her partner. Romance had never quite felt like this. Buffy continued to run her fingers through Faith's thick, dark mane of hair, unable to control her shortening breath.
It was almost sunrise when Buffy finally climaxed. One long drive of Faith's fingers and one last nibble at her sensitive flesh and Buffy had let go of any inhibitions she once had. She lay there in Faith's arms, content and relaxed, and soon fell asleep curled up against her lover.
Faith had never known it could be so good. Even without orgasm, her pleasure was in knowing how satisfied and contented the woman she loved had been, there with her.
Faith lay still, staring at Buffy, watching her sleep. There were four words that her mind was never before able to expel. 'Get some, get gone'. These words ran over and over in Faith's mind, but as she looked at Buffy, lying ever so close to her, the words seemed to fade away like day into night.
Dawn rolled over in her bed. She had been lying awake for hours and now she could see the sun rising through her window. She'd tried so many ways to divert her ears from the moans and sighs of sweet, raw contentment and emotion coming from Buffy's bedroom, but to no avail. She had tried covering her ears, putting her pillow over her head. She'd even tried listening to music, but if she wasn't hearing those sounds in the real sense, they played a million times over in her mind.
"Don't want what you can't have," Dawn told herself, but the words Faith had said still echoed.
'I still love you, D.'
Dawn knew Faith was telling the truth. She meant what she said, just not in the way that the young girl had hoped. She wanted Faith to be happy, but with Dawn's own flesh and blood? Sooner or later, she knew this situation was bound to get a whole lot more difficult.
She looked over at her alarm clock. 4:48 am it said, and with no more noises, no more whimpers of pleasure coming from her big sister's room, Dawn finally drifted off to sleep.
Disclaimer: They’re Joss Whedon’s, not mine. *Sobs loudly* When You Say Nothing At All is also not mine so credit goes to whosever it is…thanks for letting me borrow it.
“Buffy,” Willow said bursting into the bedroom, “it’s late, you gotta…”
She took a few quick steps back as she saw Buffy lying in bed with Faith’s arms woven around her. Buffy opened her eyes, waking Faith at the same time.
“Hey, Red,” Faith smiled, “looking for something?”
“I…I think I just found more than I was looking for,” Willow stammered as she raced out of the room.
Buffy began to climb out of bed, sighing, “Oh, boy. Now we got trouble.”
“What? Red?” Faith asked, “B, you do realise she’s a big girl now, don’t you?”
Dressing, Buffy looked sympathetically at Faith. “I know you don’t get what the big deal is here, but you saw what happened between her and Tara, and seeing us like this has got to dredge up old feelings. Besides, telling Willow about us wasn’t something I wanted to do under these circumstances.”
“So, there is an ‘us’, right?” Buffy had never before seen Faith so uncertain, and even though Faith was unsure, the sparkle never left her eyes.
With a devious smile on her face, and now fully dressed, Buffy replied, “I’ll think about it.”
Downstairs, Dawn was sitting at the dining table. It was Saturday and even though it was a fine day, Dawn was anything but fine. She sat looking at the cereal in her bowl, swirling it with her spoon. Buffy had gone off to Willow’s room to explain what she had just witnessed, so that left Faith a while to get dressed and have breakfast.
Moving downstairs, Faith could see Dawn sitting at the table in silence and all alone. She couldn’t imagine what it must have been like for Dawn, and knew…well, at least hoped, it wouldn’t be too long before hers and Buffy’s relationship was out in the open. How would Dawn feel then? She’d thought about it before, she didn’t want to hurt Dawn, but her feelings for Buffy were far more important than anything else had ever been. Nobody had ever cared about her before, not the way Buffy did, and she didn’t want to give that up.
Faith felt selfish. Her mother had never loved her, her father had left when she was young, her step-father abused her, both mentally and physically. She’d never been cared about. Now, Buffy wanted to do that for her and she didn’t feel good about it because she didn’t want Dawn to get hurt. Sometimes she thought things would be easier for everyone if nobody cared about her, and at least that way she didn’t have to care about anybody else either.
“Mornin’, squirt. What’s to eat in this place?” Faith started.
Dawn didn’t look up from her bowl. Sitting down next to Dawn, Faith began to speak. “Hey, D. You can’t be so down. Life isn’t all wicked fun, but it’s not all fucked up either. Both of you taught me that. Go easy, ok?”
Dawn stared up into Faith’s eyes and they burned into her. She could see the compassion in them, and she knew Faith felt bad about the situation. With a forced smile, she nodded and gulped down the remainder of her cereal.
“I heard you last night.”
Faith looked taken aback. “You heard…how long?”
“All night,” she said, then added sarcastically, “I could tell you the exact time you finished if it would make you feel any better.” Dawn was certainly someone to rival Faith’s wit. “I couldn’t sleep. Too much noise.”
‘This really isn’t working for me,’ Faith thought to herself. She apologised to Dawn and told her that things were going to get better. “You’ll see,” she said, “they will.”
Upstairs in Willow’s room Buffy tried to clarify what had happened.
“Wills, I can explain,” Buffy pleaded.
Sitting on the edge of her bed looking at the floor, Willow said, “You don’t have to justify yourself to me. I just wish you’d told me. I’m supposed to be your best friend.” She added, “…It happened at the Bronze didn’t it?”
“She kissed me…then I kissed her,” Buffy said, blushing, “but how did you know?”
“You don’t give me a lot of credit, do you? You were acting weird yesterday. Happy, but not so. It was like you wanted to be, but you just weren’t sure. I knew that it only started after your night at the Bronze with Faith and if you were all that confused about something it had to have happened there.”
Buffy leaned against the door and shoved her hands into her pockets.
“Do you love her?” Willow questioned.
Nodding, Buffy said, “And she loves me. She always has, I just didn’t…All I know is that it’s special with her. In there, with me, she’s not who she makes herself out to be when everyone else is around. She’s a different person…a better person.”
The wicca looked at Buffy. It was plain to see that Faith had her heart, the way Willow never had. She sighed in resolve, “Then what I think shouldn’t be important. You love each other. That’s all that matters.”
“Hey, B!” Faith shouted picking up her things, “I’m going home for a while, see you at the Bronze tonight?”
Buffy walked out into the hall and wrapped her arms around Faith’s neck. “Yeah, I’ll see you there. The guys are coming and I want to tell them tonight,” she said, planting a tender kiss on Faith’s soft lips. Not wanting to let go, she pulled Buffy in closer and tighter. “A slayer all of my very own,” Faith teased. “I shall call you Buffy, and you shall be mine, and you shall be my Buffy.”
“That’s it,” Buffy said, rolling her eyes, “I’m hiding the Finding Nemo video.”
Faith slowly slung her sports bag over her shoulder, bent down and kissed Buffy’s neck, whispering, “See you tonight.”
The wind was icy outside the Bronze that night. Buffy and Dawn were waiting there when Xander, Anya and Cordy arrived. “Hey guys. You can go on inside. Dawn, you go in too. I’ll be in soon.” Everybody nodded as they walked past her, even though most were puzzled as to why she would want to stay outside in the cold.
Not a minute later, Faith strolled up to the club. She was wearing a tight red top and her black leather pants. It had been so long since she had worn her leather and she looked absolutely insatiable in it. She always had.
For the last year or so Faith had been unsettled. She would withdraw from people for days at a time, hadn’t been answering her calls, even toned down her lively wit. That wasn’t the Faith that Buffy knew…and loved. But tonight, Buffy could see the change immediately. Faith was beginning to come out of the haze that she had been in for so long and get back to being the wild, beautiful woman Buffy had always known.
“Hey, B,” Faith said with a grin, “you look amazing.” Buffy was wearing tight black pants and a cream sweater. Subconsciously she had tried to impress Faith and it had obviously worked.
Buffy kissed Faith, a quick peck on the lips, and Faith grabbed hold of the small of Buffy’s back, pressing herself against the other woman’s body, and said, “You’re gonna have to do better than that.” Buffy kissed the gorgeous brunette again with full force, exploring every inch of her mouth with her tongue. When they pulled away from each other Faith smiled, then added, “Better…but I think we should keep working on it later.”
As they walked inside Buffy let go of Faith’s hand. Faith knew that this was difficult for Buffy. A ‘coming out’ of sorts. Everybody knew that Faith had no problems being with women, but it was a big deal for Buffy. She’d never been with another woman before and she knew that it would come as a shock to the rest of the group, just as it had to Willow.
“Hey, what’s going down, Buff?” Xander asked when the two women arrived at the usual booth in the back. He was completely oblivious to the awkwardness his question had created between the Chosen Two, and even Willow began blushing furiously.
Buffy fidgeted with her hands and ran her fingers through her hair before speaking. “Actually, guys, there’s something I have to tell you.” She shot a look in Willow’s direction, waiting for her nod of approval. And it was given. Buffy continued, “I know this is going to come as a surprise to all of you, but I think you deserve to know, so I’m just going to come out and say it.” Slowly and hesitantly, she placed a hand on Faith’s hip, and Faith set an arm around Buffy’s waist.
“Faith and I are together.”
The table went silent. Willow smiled and nodded at Buffy. She knew the courage it took for her to be having the relationship in the first place. From experience. When she told the rest of the gang about her relationship with Tara, she had been so scared of what might happen that she’d burst into tears. Buffy had helped her understand herself then, and now Willow was more than happy to give her the same courtesy. Willow had always looked up to Buffy, and to see that she could be just as scared as anyone else, that made Willow respect her that much more.
Anya looked at Xander, and saw that his mouth was open wide. A small smile came across her face as she watched his reaction, then she whispered, “Not really an attractive look for you.” Xander quickly closed his mouth and looked down into his lap. Cordy was the least surprised, and she certainly showed it, saying, “Well, good for you but don’t expect me to be joining Dykesville with Willow and the Chosen Two anytime soon.”
Cordy always knew exactly how to break an uncomfortable silence. Xander stood up from the table and walked over to Buffy. Hugging her, he whispered in her ear, “Don’t let it slip, Buff. You deserve to be happy.” Faith shook Xander’s hand. “Thanks for the vote Xan-man.”
Suddenly, the gentle, delicate picking of “When You Say Nothing At All” began to pump through the club’s sound system. “Here’s one for the lovesick puppies in the house tonight,” the DJ, James, crackled over the microphone. Faith shot a look in his direction, discreetly giving him a thumbs-up and mouthing ‘thanks’.
The two slayers sent a look toward each other. Faith, taking Buffy’s hand, led her out onto the dance floor. It was as if nobody else was in the room as they looked into each other’s eyes. Holding Buffy close against her, Faith began to sing softly with the music. Buffy knew that every word was for her, and as she pulled Faith in as close as she could, she listened intently.
That smile on your face lets me know that you need me Theres a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall You say it best, when you say nothing at all
"A real slayers song," Faith smiled as they danced.
"Shhh," Buffy whispered. "You don't have to say anything."
You say it best, when you say nothing at all
Buffy buried her head against her lover's neck. It had been too long since she had felt like this, but this time she didn’t intend on letting it go.
Back at home after a long night of dancing, Faith was once again asked to stay. “Together for less than two days and already having sleepovers?” Faith shook her head and, with a grin, said, “Naughty…I like it.”
She agreed to stay, and as they faded off to sleep after the night’s activities, Buffy safe in Faith’s arms, neither could have been happier.
When Buffy woke up the next morning Faith was gone. Afraid that she had realised that ‘Get some, get gone’ would always be a part of her life, Buffy jumped out of bed and hurried down the stairs. There, in the kitchen, was Faith. The table was covered in plates full of pancakes, toast and bacon and eggs. Buffy was impressed. Of all the men, or vamps, she had ever been with, not one of them had ever made her breakfast before. In fact, she thought it was quite cute.
Faith looked up from the pancakes she had just removed from the frying pan. “Morning, B,” she smiled, “I was just about to come get you. I made some breakfast. Hope you’re hungry. By the way, anyone ever tell you that you look wicked sexy in the morning?”
Buffy smiled back, grabbing hold of Faith’s shirt and pulling her into a good morning kiss. Faith began to run her fingers through Buffy’s soft blonde hair as she pushed her back against the bench, still kissing her hungrily.
“Excuse me, some of us would like to eat before we throw up,” they heard from behind them. Breaking their kiss, Faith turned to see Dawn walk into the kitchen. Faith looked at her knowingly. “Sorry, squirt. Didn’t realise we had company.” Dawn sat down at the table and picked up a piece of toast. Buffy gave Faith another quick kiss before heading upstairs to get changed and Faith joined Dawn at the table.
“Look D, I know it can’t be easy for you. I promise I’ll try to be more careful around here from now on and…”
Dawn looked at Faith. “Don’t…please. You two are so happy together and I don’t want to come between that,” she took a deep breath, trying once again to hold back tears. “I don’t want to deprive Buffy of something that I would never want to be without. I’m trying to understand and let you go. It’s just going to take time. Can you give me that?”
Sentimentality wasn’t exactly something Faith was used to, but seeing Dawn so upset, yet still trying so hard to understand, was killing her. Dawn had become one of her closest friends after everything that had happened, so she could comprehend why Dawn had these feelings, but it was all too hard for Faith. Everything else in her life had been so simple. Faith’s first and foremost motto: get some, get gone – simple. Another of her adages: want, take, have – simple. In Faith’s life, either people cared, or they didn’t. Usually they didn’t.
Faith looked into Dawn’s eyes. They pleaded with her, begging for a chance. Faith smiled. “Sure kiddo. Take all the time you need.”
“Tara, please pick up. I know you’re there,” Willow cried into the answering machine.
Faith walked in to see Willow sobbing into the phone. “Hey red, why the tears?” she asked. Startled, Willow slammed the phone down and hurriedly dried her eyes.
“This doesn’t have something to do with a certain hot blonde, does it?” Faith enquired.
The look on Willow’s face was priceless, and she replied with a stutter much like Tara’s, “W-what? N-no! I swear, B-B-Buffy and I d-didn’t - ”
“What?” Faith interrupted. “Who said anything about Buffy?” Willow became even more flustered as she searched her mind for something remotely sane to say. “But you said - ”
“I said hot blonde. Not Buffy. But now you’ve got my attention. Tell me what really happened between you and Tara, red, because right now I have the strangest feeling that Buffy doesn’t know she was the reason for the break up.”
The red headed wicca’s gaze immediately turned to the floor of the Summers’ residence, but Faith wouldn’t back down. “C’mon Willow, what’s the deal here? You in love with my girl or what?” Willow knew she couldn’t hold out any longer, Faith was getting irritable.
“Yes and no,” she finally whispered.
Faith was bewildered. “Yes and no? What kind of shit is that?”
“Yes, Buffy is the reason Tara and I broke up. No, I’m not in love with her,” the shy girl sighed, then continued, “I used to be, until Tara came along. But Tara thinks I still love Buffy. She wouldn’t listen when I said I only wanted her.”
For a moment, Faith seemed satisfied with Willow’s answer. Then she remembered something else Tara had mentioned on her way out. “So what was Tara talking about when she said that you could have said no?” she asked.
Faith watched as the other girl’s cheeks became flushed and she replied, "Buffy asked me...well she asked me what it was like to kiss another girl. I told her it was nice. Not like kissing a guy...softer, sweeter. Then she asked if..."
"If what?" Faith asked impatiently.
"If she could try it out with me. It wasn't like it was romantic or anything and neither of us felt anything, it was just an experiment, something to help Buffy understand Tara and I better. I didn't want it to come between us, and it was only for you and - "
Faith cut her off, mostly just to stop her babbling, but also because she had a question. "For me? Why was it for me?"
"Well," Willow started, "I didn't know it was for you at the time, but before we kissed I asked her why she wanted to find out and she started saying something about a girl that she thought she liked and how she wasn't sure if this girl felt the same. She was kinda freaked because she doesn't think she's a lesbian, but she said that this was different somehow and that this was the only time she'd ever felt something for a girl. I guess she was talking about you...given the current situation. The only thing I'm confused about is why I didn't know that it was you right away. But I agreed and we kissed and that's all. I swear it didn’t mean any - "
"And how long ago was this?" Faith interrupted.
Willow's face fell when she said, "Just before you saw Tara storm out of the house. She walked in when I was 'showing Buffy the ropes'..."
'Well, fuck-me-friday,' the brunette thought to herself, 'B wanted me before I even pulled a move on her!'
"Faith?"
Suddenly the slayer snapped out of the daze she was in. "Right," Faith said, "Plenty of time to talk about that later. Right now I have to go. Gotta pay a visit to a hot blonde."
And then she was gone.
“Hey Blondie, what’s the what?” Faith exclaimed, casually flinging open the door to Tara’s apartment. “You really gotta learn to lock your door. You hang out with slayers and a witch, you never know what Big Bads might come a-knockin’.”
As Tara appeared from her bedroom in a fluffy white robe, she was shocked to see Faith, with her leather-clad butt seated firmly upon the table. She was stuffing her face with some donuts she had picked up on the way over. “Used to,” she shot back. Faith looked up and, with a mouth full of donut, asked “Meaning?” Although, it was quite a bit more difficult to understand the word as it was leaving her mouth.
“I used to hang out with slayers and a witch. The Big Bads don’t want me anymore. They want you and Buffy.” Tara said. With a sly grin Faith added, “And don’t forget Red.”
Shooting her eyes straight to the floor, Tara sighed. “I had a feeling she was the reason you came.” Faith, chuckling to herself, replied, “I’ve come for a lot of reasons in my life…but interestingly enough Red has never been one of them. Could be fun though. Maybe next time?”
“You know what I mean,” Tara said quietly. “Please just say what you came here to tell me and get it over with, because we’re not getting anywhere this way. But I’ll tell you right now, nothing you say will change my mind about what Willow did.”
A serious look crossed Faith’s face. She knew that what Willow had done was probably not the right thing, but it wasn’t completely her fault either. “Alright Blondie you got it. I’ll tell you the truth and it’s gonna be hard and blunt. You up for that?” Tara nodded. “Then listen up. First of all, Red loves you, so you can give up the hard-ass act because you know it as well as I do. Second, you love her, and I know that if I’d given up on Buffy back when I’d gone to jail, I would never have been as happy as I am today. She was what kept me alive in there. Third, if you can forgive me for what I’ve done, surely you can forgive the one person you care about more than anyone else in the world.”
The look in Tara’s eyes told Faith that she was wavering. Faith could see that Tara was on the brink of crying, and as much as she didn’t want to upset the girl further she had to continue.
“Wills explained the story to me. She told me that when you found her and B kissing, it was only so that Buffy could find out what kissing a woman was like before she pulled a move on me. I get that it’s not exactly the noblest of causes but she was helping out a friend and she thought it was the right thing to do. I’ve done a lot worse in my time. Hell, I tried to kill your girl for Christ’s sake, but you still forgave me. That takes real courage.” Faith took a deep breath. This was more serious than she usually liked to get, but she continued anyway. “But it takes more courage to forgive the person you love if they’ve hurt you. It took B a major long time to forgive me for what I’d done, and that’s how I know she really loves me. Think about that carefully, before you do something you’ll regret.” Faith turned to leave, and before closing the door behind her she yelled back, “There’s donuts. Help yourself.”
Walking away from Tara’s apartment, Faith was having difficulty believing the things she had just said. She looked around her, and for the first time in years, she actually took notice of the couples holding hands, and the way they looked at each other, and the way they watched their two-year-olds playing in the park as they sat on the benches leaning into each others warmth. Then she realised she was smiling. ‘Geez, girl you’re mellowing out,’ she thought to herself. But strangely enough, she felt good about it.
Returning to Casa de Summers, Faith found Willow on the phone and smiling nervously. Noticing Faith standing in the doorway with a wide, goofy grin across her face, Willow smiled again and mouthed the word ‘thank you’.
Just then, Faith felt arms snake around her waist. She didn’t turn around. She just stood there, watching the redhead and smiling widely to herself. “That was a great thing you did,” Buffy whispered. Faith turned to face her girl and replied, “She deserves to be as happy with her girl as I am with you.” And she lifted her girlfriend's face up to hers and kissed her even softer and sweeter than she had the first night they were together.
It was late afternoon at the Summers house. Since Faith had reunited Willow and Tara, each one had barely left the other's side, and Faith had kept an eye on them both for a few days, making sure they were both settling back into the relationship.
Buffy had been spending a lot of time out with Faith, at clubs, dancing, drinking, kissing. But the moments she savoured more than any other were the times they were in bed, Faith's arms wrapped around Buffy's body, running her fingernails down the length of the blonde's tummy and back up again, the young brunette tickling the older slayer's ear with her hot breath. In fact, it was during this very act that they heard the soft moaning noises coming from the next room. Dawn's room.
"Faith, do you hear that?" Buffy inquired, alarmed. Thinking Dawn was just putting in for some solo rough and tumble time, Faith quieted the blonde and said, "Don't worry B, I'll go. She's probably just dreaming."
Quietly opening the door to Dawn's room, Faith stepped inside. The scene taking place would have been impossible for any normal person to make out – no pun intended – but not for a Slayer. There, in the middle of a freshly unmade bed, was Dawn and Cordelia in throes of wild passion.
Faith pretended to clear her throat, making that noise people usually make if they want your attention. The noise that also makes you feel as guilty as you ever could about what you're doing – especially if you're doing something you shouldn't be. Pulling the covers up over the both of them, Dawn screeched, "Buffy?"
The dark slayer just chuckled softly to herself. "Wrong, squirt. B ain't here. But I'm guessing a compromising position like this could get you two in a lot of trouble. Dished out, of course, by the Mistress of Pain herself."
Even in the darkness Faith could see Dawn's eyes pleading with her. "Please don't tell her Faith, she'll get so mad…I…I just wanted to get away for a while."
Faith walked over and sat herself down, cross-legged on the end of the girl's bed. "I'm not going to tell her anything Dawnie," she smiled, "but Cordy, here's an idea. Put some clothes on. If B walks in here right now, worried because I'm not back yet, you're both in trouble, and I'm talkin' much bigger problems than the apocalypse."
Cordelia suddenly conjured up a look Faith had never seen before. "You know I'm not big on thank-you's, but if it results in me not being mauled by Miss Aggressive Tendencies, then thanks." Picking up her shoes and coat, Cordy had almost made her way to Dawn's door when she suddenly turned around, ran straight towards Dawn and kissed her. "Bye, baby," the ex-cheerleader gushed, before composing herself once again and letting herself out. *Whipped. So much for Cordy not "joining Dykesville with Willow and the chosen two anytime soon".*
Faith looked back at Dawn, staring at her intensely for what seemed like forever. "You going to tell me what this is about?" Faith questioned expectedly. Dawn looked down at herself, wrapped only in her blanket. "The night you got Willow and Tara back together, I was sitting in my room, just thinking about how great it would be if…if you and I…anyway, Cordelia found me crying. I thought she was going to laugh or make fun of me, but she didn't. She understood. That night, she showed me things I never thought were possible. For a start, she showed me that moving on doesn't mean not loving a person anymore, it just means accepting that love as a love that will never grow or change. Cordy and I had sex that night, and I've never felt anything so amazing. When she pushed me back onto that bed and put her fingers - "
Faith interrupted, more embarrassed because Dawn was like a sister to her. "WOW. Ok kiddo, I get the idea. Here's the deal: you've been so happy the last few days and at first I didn't know why, but now I do. In some very scary detail might I add. And if having Cordy jump your bones gives you a case of the happies, be my guest. But next time squirt…try to keep it down." Faith gave Dawn a wink and headed for the door.
"Is she ok? What's wrong?" Buffy asked, along with a hundred other questions as soon as Faith entered the room.
"B, calm down," Faith mused. "She was dreaming. Granted, it was one of those good dreams, like the ones I have about the French Maid and the – umm, anyway, it was a dream, she's fine baby."
As they faded off to sleep, Faith couldn't get the scene to vacate her mind. *Cordy?! Dawn is SO going to get caught, and when she does, all hell will break loose. Wait, what am I saying?! That happens once or twice a day in my line of work.*
Dinner was over. "Dawn, can you clear the table?" Buffy asked, standing up. Faith looked in Dawn's direction. "I'll give you a hand squirt. C'mon." Faith had thought a lot about what she had witnessed the night before in the youngest Summers' room, and had some questions she needed to ask. When Buffy was gone, Faith took her chance.
"So D…do you make a habit out of letting scary, fashion-obsessed, ex- cheerleaders jump you in your bed?" Faith said flashing a smile. Dawn seemed to be troubled by the situation.
"Faith, if Buffy finds out…"
Clearing dishes from the table, the brunette began to look annoyed. "What's she going to do, Dawn? Denying you the right to keep seeing Cordelia will only make you hate her, and telling you it's wrong because Cordelia's a girl would make her a hypocrite. I mean, c'mon, look who she's shacked up with. But seriously kiddo, you gotta tell her. If she freaks, I'll talk to her, but for now it's up to you to trust her. She knows how you feel."
Faith started to walk into the kitchen, and Dawn followed behind. "No," Dawn said, "she doesn't know how I feel. Cordy and I sleep together. It's not because we want each other, it's because we need each other. You and Buffy, Willow and Tara, Xander and Anya…you all have one another. Cordelia and I don't have anyone, but we need to feel that connection just as much as any of you do. So it's not out of love Faith. It's out of necessity. Buffy won't ever be able to understand how I feel, because she doesn't have to compete for your love."
Faith looked at Dawn and saw herself standing there. She understood the need to have someone, anyone, get close to her, just for the sake of being close. But since last night, it hadn't occurred to Faith that she may only be sleeping with Cordelia to make herself feel loved. She didn't think that maybe Dawn hadn't gotten over her and was trying to compensate for what she didn't have. "I'm sorry kiddo. I don't want to be putting you through this much hurt. I don't know what else to do."
Then Dawn smiled. "It's okay," she said, "Cordy and I have been helping each other. I mean, other than the kinky mating rituals." They both laughed. "You can't help me, Faith. I know you're trying to make things okay, but you don't need to. Just being here for me… that means more than words."
When Buffy came to bed that night, Faith was writing in her journal. "What's that?" Buffy asked. Startled, Faith quickly closed the black leather bound book. "Umm, nothing, B. Just some sketches and stuff." Buffy had known Faith long enough to know when she wasn't being honest. Now was definitely one of those times. "Come on, Faith. Show me what it is."
"No."
Buffy stood still for a second, eyeing Faith suspiciously. Then, she pounced on the bed, grabbing for the book, just missing as Faith jumped up. Making a game of it, the two slayers began acting like they were teenagers again, jumping over the bed, chasing each other around the room, Buffy making another swift grab for Faith's precious book every so often. Finally, Faith jumped up on the bed, and just as she was about to jump off, Buffy tackled her, landing right on top of the panting brunette. They were silent for a moment, then Buffy leaned in and kissed Faith all along her jaw line and down her neck, sliding a hand up over her breast…putting Faith off guard before swiftly snatching the book from her hand. "Dammit, B. What's in there…it's just thoughts and stuff…it doesn't make sense and - "
Faith was interrupted by the sound of her girlfriend reading out the passage she was writing when Buffy walked in.
'Buffy Summers – There aren't enough words in the world to describe what I feel about her. She's in the bathroom now, getting ready to come to bed. Our bed. Sometimes I watch her sleep, watch her features etched in moonlight and I wonder…what if I hadn't managed to live? What if I hadn't been able to break through the barrier she'd made to protect her heart from being broken again? And then I know. She's my reason, I lived for her, and she's my kryptonite, I am weak against everything she is.'
Buffy looked up at Faith, who had gone a particularly dark shade of red. "Faith," she said. The brunette just looked back, smiled and said, "Keep going." So she did.
'She's the one person I know who can act so hard, but feel so soft all at the same time. She only has to touch me and I shiver like I'm stuck out in the snow, yet she makes my body heat up, and the warmth spreads from wherever she touches me to the rest of my body like wildfire. I freeze and I burn all at once. She's the summer and the winter, the fire and the ice. She's inexplicable…she's mine.'
Faith could see the tears welling up in the tiny blonde's eyes as she closed the journal. "That was so amazing," Buffy whispered through her tears.
"Bet you thought I was practically illiterate, huh?" Faith smiled. Buffy smiled back, then she climbed onto her partner's lap and kissed her. Her tongue roamed Faith's mouth, while her hands roamed Faith's body. Then, Faith lay Buffy down on the bed and put her body on top of the smaller girl's. They kissed again, this time deeper, more urgent, more passionate. Buffy pulled Faith into her, rubbing herself against Faith's thigh, feeling heat radiating from her, just the way Faith had described in her journal. They brought each other to climax after climax that night, before succumbing to intense exhaustion. As they were close to sleep, Buffy turned over to face Faith. "Promise me something," she said. Smiling, Faith returned, "Anything."
"Never go away."
...to be continued...