What Comes Next?
by Kat
Rating: R

POV Dawn

Anya's back...wow. I wonder how long Buffy will let me stay here, she sometimes sends me away within five minutes of Anya being around. I guess it's because of all the sex talk, but I already know about it. She acts like I'm still a little kid, like I'm not supposed to know about sex. Hello...I'm in high school, I've heard worse in the locker room; I've heard worse stories from Johnny Morgan. The guy I had to sit next to in Geometry, he always had some wild story about his weekend. Usually involving hookers and/or strippers, I knew they weren't true, but he kept telling them anyway. I guess he just wanted people to pay attention to him, and hey, I can relate to that.

It's not easy being around Buffy and her friends; they either treat me like I'm ten or ignore me altogether. Out of all of them, there was only one person who never did that to me and that was Faith. She always talked to me like I was an equal, not some stupid little kid who didn't know anything. If she thought I was doing something wrong, she never yelled at me or lost her temper; she'd just give me something else to do. Like when I questioned Buffy about Xander's state of mind, it must have really been bothering Buffy cause Faith asked me to check in with Giles. She did it quietly and quickly without bringing attention to whatever stupid thing I said or did.

I'm really glad she's back, well I wasn't so happy at first, but I'm really happy now, I missed her a lot. We really understand each other, I guess it's because we both know what it's like to be ignored by Buffy and her friends.

I remember the night I kicked Buffy out of the house, the night I told her she had to leave. The night started out really great, going to the Bronze, having fun, hanging with Faith then everything went downhill very rapidly. I felt horrible at what I had done to Buffy, telling her to leave, I know I only did it for her own good, but still. I remember after everyone went to bed, I still felt bad, I needed to talk to somebody. Everyone was busy doing his or her own thing, so I went to the only person I knew would listen to me.

Flashback of the night in question...

Oh god, what did I do? I shouldn't have sent Buffy away. This guilt is making my stomach all upset, feel like I'm going to be sick. If anything happens to her because I sent her away...I can't even finish the thought. I need to talk to somebody, somebody who can do something; I need to talk to Faith. We need to check up on Buffy, make sure she's ok. As I come down the hallway I see Robin close the door to Buffy's room, crap... Now what am I going to do? You know what I don't care, I need Faith and it's my house so I knock on the door.

The door opens just a fraction and Robin asks, "What?"

"I need to talk to Faith..."

"Well, she's a little busy, and shouldn't you be in bed anyway. You can talk to her in the morning."

Suddenly the door opens wider and Faith says to Robin, "Don't you dare talk to her like that, this is her fucking house. As a matter of fact, I think you should be leaving, perhaps it's past your bedtime."

Robin says, "But..."

Faith gives me a wink and turns back to him, "Bu, Bu, BYE!"

For a moment I swear it looked like Robin wanted to hurt us, and at that moment I had no doubt that he could. Faith doesn't seem to notice or maybe she's just not worried. Although that might be a bluff cause he looks damn scary at the moment, but he doesn't do anything, he doesn't say a word, he just walks past me and goes down the stairs. He's got to be pretty angry, hope he won't be my principal after the apocalypse, cause I might be in some trouble if he is.

Faith walks us out on the back porch, she lights up the tiki torches Xander stole from one of the neighbors, which is good cause it's pretty dark out here. We probably shouldn't be outside with everything that's going on, but I just wanna be outside, there are way too many people inside. Also, I don't want them to hear me talking about Buffy, they won't understand. I watch Faith as she lights up a cigarette takes a long drag off it then asks, "What's on your mind, kiddo?"

"I...well...um...I hope I didn't interrupt you and Princi...um...Robin..."

She laughs a little, "No of course not, he's really not my type..."

I look at her in disbelief, "Yeah I can see how you might say that, he's smart, funny, attractive..."

"And totally creepy..."

I laugh slightly cause he is kinda creepy. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks so, Buffy seems to think he's ok, even though when we researched him we found out nothing. It's like before Sunnydale, he didn't exist, I think that makes him highly suspicious. So his mom was a slayer, big deal it doesn't explain why he has basically no past. And I'm not buying that he didn't know what was in that box, everybody was busy worrying how to get Buffy back after she jumped into that time portal. But I was focused on him, he didn't seem surprised there was a portal, nor that a demon had switched places with her. Yet, nobody wanted to listen to me when I told them all this, you know just because I'm young doesn't mean I don't know anything.

"Yeah, he is totally creepy." I can't help but laugh a little as I add, "Buffy went out on a date with him..."

Faith smiled, "See, reeeeally not my type then...So come on...spill...what's the problem?"

"I'm worried about Buffy..."

She sighs and takes a seat next to me, "Yeah...me too..."

I can't help but cry, "What if...what if something bad happens to her, it'll be all my fault..."

She quietly put her arm around me, rested her head against mine, "Nothing bad is gonna happen. She'll be ok; big Sis is quite capable of taking care of herself. And by now, I'm sure Spike is with her, he'll be there to make sure she stays ok...And don't worry in a couple of days she'll be back. Hell, she'll probably wake up tomorrow and realize she left me in charge and come running right back."

I just nod slowly; I'm really not too convinced. Faith gives me another quick squeeze before letting me go. "I'll tell you what, once it's daylight, we'll have Willow try and track her so we can make sure she's ok. How's that?"

I guess that's ok, daylight is only a couple of hours away, and Faith is right, Buffy can take care of herself, and I'm sure Spike is with her, although I'm not sure that's a good idea. Buffy has been acting really wacky when it comes to Spike lately, and Spike has always been wacky when it comes to Buffy. But what do I know, I'm just a kid, right? I look over at Faith and she still seems distracted by something, I know she's just as worried about Buffy as I am, which isn't as weird as it sounds. Although I'm certain Buffy is responsible for that bruise on Faith's cheek, and yet Faith is still worried about her, I wonder what that means.

Seeing the bruise makes me ask, "Does your face hurt?"

Typical Faith pretends it doesn't bother her, "Nah...it's fine..."

I can't help but grin as I say, "Well it's killing me..."

I knew I shouldn't have said that, I knew that would be a big mistake, in a second she's on me, tickling me, "Why you little..."

End of Flashback

I remember how Faith and I spent the rest of the night talking and joking around about stuff. Well, ok...mostly it was me talking and Faith just sat there smiling, listening, making funny comments. She made me forget how bad everything was, at least for a little while. I look over at Buffy and Faith, I see they are sitting really close together, their legs are touching, they keep exchanging nervous little glances with each other. I watch them for a few minutes and I blurt out, "OH MY GOD, Buffy and Faith are dating? Oh wow, that is so cool..."

OK now everyone is staring at them, opps...I can't believe I just said that out loud. Giles just spurted tea out of his nose, wow that was cool too. Willow and Xander are grinning at them and Buffy and Faith are both turning red. WOW, I never saw Faith blush before...that's kinda funny.

Then Anya turns to them, "Yes, and don't forget Buffy, give her lots and lots of orgasms so she'll stay away from my Xander."

Again more blushing from Buffy who tries to look toward Faith for support, boy, that's a mistake cause Faith grins, "Lots and lots..."

Faith gets a punch in the arm for not helping her, but she's still laughing as she rubs her arm. So is everyone else, even Angel seems to find this funny. Apparently Buffy doesn't think it's so funny, she glares at everyone until they stop. "Ok, yes, fine...Faith and I are dating, anybody got a problem with that? Anybody else want to comment on my sex life...Anybody?" She looks at everyone pointedly and when nobody says anything, "GOOD! Anya why are you back?"

POV Faith

I can't believe we got outed by the pipsqueak. It seems to have gone pretty well, nobody seems to object. Other than the rather large bruise starting to form on my arm, things are looking pretty good. Although Wesley's shirt has seen better days, thanks to Giles and his tea. I'm still a little freaked about all this me and Buffy stuff, but she takes my hand and gives me a wink, let's me know she's got no problems. Which is all that matters, as long as she's cool with it I could give a rat's ass what everyone else thought, well, except for the kid, I'm glad she's ok with it.

It seems Anya is finally ready to explain how she's back here among the living, "Oh...I'm back because the Powers made me an offer I couldn't refuse..." She looks around at all of us like she's waiting for something, then sighs, "Pop culture reference...and I even used it correctly..."

Xander gives her a big smile, like it was an accomplishment or something, that chick is really weird, she just might actually be the perfect woman for Xander.

"Ah...yes...very nice Anya, we, uh, are all sure to be proud, can you tell us the offer?"

Thank you Giles for getting vengeance chick back on topic or we could be here all day, cause she's sure to start on her ode to Xander in about...oh five seconds. I'm sure that will inevitably end with me getting more bruises, which I'd like to avoid if at all possible.

"They told me I could spend the rest of eternity in Hell or I could come back and help. Make some amends, try to make up for a thousand years of vengeance. Of course I jumped at the chance, the chance to do something for myself and I get to be with Xander."

They exchange a smile, and I'm kinda happy for them, and I don't begrudge anyone trying to make amends. Again it's Giles who gets her to focus, "What is it that you will be doing, uh, exactly."

"I'm supposed to help, supposed to relay information from them. Wait...I have a list of the things I'm supposed to tell you..."

She pulls out a notebook, flips it open, she turns a couple of pages, seemingly reading it to herself instead of telling us stuff. I wonder how long that list is, I wonder how long this is going to take cause I'd prefer to get Buffy alone in my room. I have some unfinished business with her and I'd like to get back to it. I so wanna..."Ow..." Buffy just hit me on my bruised arm.

All right, that's it, this reading of emotions thing officially sucks right about now. Those feelings are supposed to be private and not get me hit. I think I'm going to sit somewhere else, somewhere out of arm's reach. I look around for another open seat, but her grip tightens on my hand and I realize I'm outta luck, guess I'm going to have to behave myself.

"Anya...could you perhaps read them out loud?"

"Wait a minute Giles, I'm trying to get organized." She flips a couple of more pages, "Oh, here's some interesting facts, Buffy and Faith are soul mates...their souls are connected. Oh...and Dawn is part of both of them, and..."

OK, what!? "Um...what?"

Dawn asks, "I have two mommies?"

Anya nods, "Yes...Buffy already knew this..."

Everyone turns to look at Buffy as do I, I just cross my arms and I give her a look like 'you've got some splaining to do'. "Whoa...hold on...Buffy didn't know this. Buffy is just as shocked as everyone else..."

They all go back to staring at crazy chick, like they're watching some sort of tennis match, but I keep looking at Buffy. She's trying really hard not to look at me right now, too bad that doesn't really matter cause I already know she's lying. From the shocked looks on the other's faces, I'm guessing she didn't tell them the truth either. Then again, I can kinda understand why she didn't, it's kinda unbelievable, actually it's totally unbelievable. I'm sure if she had told me, there is no way I woulda believed it.

"But the monk told you...oh, no, wait...I see here, I wrote that the monk should have told you...opps..."

I just roll my eyes at Anya. Dawn makes her feelings known, "Wait...so now, not only am I related to one slayer, I'm related to both of them? Damn...there goes my social life...not just one overprotective slayer, now I got two...life is so not fair. All I know is one of you better get a good job cause I'm definitely gonna need therapy."

Buffy nods at her thoughtfully, "Maybe we can get a family discount, or maybe they offer group rates."

"Wait...so when the monks took a part of Buffy's soul to make Dawn, they also took a part of Faith's soul. I guess that explains why it looked like Dawn might be a potential. Being the product of two slayers, I can see how some of that energy would come over." Willow explains a little further since Anya doesn't seem to be paying any attention to us right now, too busy giving Xander crude sexual hand gestures. Goddamn that chick is horny, she takes horny to a whole new level of horniness, a level that even I have yet to achieve.

Dawn continues to complain, "Meanwhile, my social life is on the critical list..."

I can't help but tease her a little, "Cheer up kid, there are lots of people who don't date until they're 40..."

Giles has his glasses off, and is rubbing his temple like he's got a massive headache. With this group, I'm sure he's had lots of headaches over the years. "Is there anything else Anya?"

"Yes, the Powers have decided to back a new champion." She looks over at Angel, "Sorry Angel, they can't support you while you are the CEO of Wolfram & Hart, they know you will continue to fight for them, but they can't provide you with help. Your connection to them has been severed."

I look over at him, wondering how he's going to take that news. Knowing his connection to them was Cordy, I wonder what that means for her. We're on the same wave length cause he asks, "What does that mean for Cordelia? She helped them and now what? They're just gonna let her die..."

"She's negotiating her own deal with them, I don't really know much about it."

Apparently not wanting to dwell on the whole Cordy subject because that could lead to some questions he probably doesn't want to answer. He asks, "So the Powers are gonna back Buffy now?"

"No, they aren't going to be backing Buffy, the Powers chose Faith. And wherever Faith goes, I have to go. I'm her connection to the Powers."

Huh? What? The Powers chose me? Wait a second...did she just say...Fuck! I really don't wanna be stuck with Anya for any amount of time, "Whoa...wait a freaking minute...don't I get a say? A vote? Something?"

Buffy snickers at my new predicament, while Anya just glares at me as she scoots closer to Xander. Ok, this whole Xander thing is seriously starting to get on my nerves.

"I don't like it any better than you do Faith, believe me. But the Powers seem to think you deserve this or something, they really like the way you manage to save the other champions. The way you were so willing to sacrifice your life for Angel's..."

Uh-oh, I quickly try to change the subject and I cringe at my lame attempt, "So, uh...did ya meet Elvis?"

Anya won't be deterred, she's like some unstoppable force, she just won't shut the fuck up. "They like that you managed to save Angel, yourself and fight the Beast. Of course they think you're a little crazy, a slayer going up against the Beast, that was just...crazy. No slayer would ever be able to defeat the Beast especially the way you went about it, but they admire the fact you tried anyway."

Ok, maybe she won't mention anything else. Maybe she's done giving out the information, maybe this won't be as bad as I thought.

"They also liked how you saved Buffy..."

OK, it is possible that Anya only knows about the last time I saved Buffy...

Everyone looks confused, Buffy smiles at me slightly, takes my hand again and says, "Yeah...Faith saved me when we were fighting the First..."

Anya shakes her head, "I wasn't talking about that, although she did save you there too. I meant..."

Oh fuck...why can't I ever catch a fucking break. I know I have to do something to stop her; this is not how Buffy should find out. "Anya!"

She stops and looks at me weirdly, but I don't care, at least she stopped. I know everyone is staring at me, Buffy included, I try not to look at any of them. But the damage has already been done because Buffy asks, "What are you talking about Anya? When else did Faith save me?" Anya looks back and forth between me and Buffy, I just shake my head no, but Buffy is persistent not to mention angry, "Don't fucking listen to her, I think I have a right to know."

I try to reason with her, "Buffy don't..."

She gives me an angry look, which stops me in mid-sentence. I understand completely, she wants to know, and she's angry with me for not telling her myself. I know she won't be dissuaded, so it's useless to argue. Slayers really don't like to be kept in the dark; it goes against our nature or something.

"Faith saved you from Hell, your soul was really stuck inside a Hell dimension. You contacted Faith in a dream and she saved you. Well, she didn't personally save you, the rest of us did that, but she convinced Tara you needed saving, and Tara put the idea in Willow's head, and five months later, we brought you back from Hell. I don't know why you thought you were in heaven, those two places couldn't be any more different from each other."

Angel and I exchange a look, I really hate how right he was, he knew she'd find out. Although he couldn't have imagined it would happen so soon, I know I didn't. I look at her, her hand has slipped from mine, and she's confused, I can feel it. She gets up and walks around for a minute, I stand too, not knowing how this is going to play out.

Somebody calls out to her, "Buffy?"

She's not paying attention to anything; I feel flashes of terror, and pain. She's remembering, and it's not going to be pleasant. I know because I remember what happened to her there, it fucked me up, and I wasn't the one who was physically in Hell. She's pacing, faster and faster, images of her suffering, her torment are coming back to her, her emotions are coming faster and faster, I can hardly keep up with them all. Pain, horror, anguish, misery, all those horrible emotions just keep building and building, and then nothing, poof, all her emotions just vanished. It's like she's completely gone, I don't feel her at all right now, I don't feel her emotions, I don't feel our slayer connection, I feel nothing, I feel empty, if I wasn't staring right at her, I'd think she was...dead.

She turns toward me, the look in her eyes, it's pure hatred, and I really can't stand that it's directed right at me. I had hoped never to be on the receiving end of one of Buffy's hate filled stares ever again. But I know it's not really her, I get that she's not in control right now and truthfully, I'm not all that surprised. I kinda knew that she had something in her that wasn't supposed to be there, and now it's decided to come out and play. I was lying before when I said I didn't see it, I've seen it since the moment I came back to Sunnydale. The first time I looked into her eyes, I knew something was wrong, she was...wrong. But she was getting better ever since the Hellmouth imploded, she'd be so close to being her old self I'd think I had imagined it, then she'd do something to remind me, but I guess there's no denying it now. I had hoped there'd be another way to fix this--that it could be done without her even knowing about it. I say the only thing that comes to mind.

"Fight it Buffy..."

"Sorry...Buffy's not in any condition to fight right now." She...it...laughed at us, "I just need a little more. So? Who wants to be first?"

I see Willow starting to move, ready to do something. I don't know how I know, but I know whatever she's planning would be a grave mistake. I practically growl at her, "Don't do it! Whatever you were thinking, just fucking stop..."

I don't want to sound like my old self, I never wanted to be her again, but right now, I think it's my only option, the only way to do what I know I have to do.

"Aw...Faithie...let the little witch play...she's a more formidable enemy anyway...you're kinda like nothing. And say, isn't that what your mother used to say about you...you're nothing..."

"Oh...pulling out the mother jokes now are we? Seems a little elementary school doesn't it?"

"Don't act like it doesn't bother you Faith...you forget I know, I know what you told her. I know how you're feeling about it; you can't hide that from me. I know you're pathetic, I know you let your mother die, you let your watcher die and now you can watch Buffy die too..."

I push back all the guilt I feel about those things, all the hurt and pain those words bring me. I try to remember that those things probably didn't really happen, those memories aren't real.

"You won't get whatever it is you need...I won't allow it, so how about you just give up. Let her go..."

"See, that's your problem Faith, always so fucking overconfident, always thinking you knew everything. Kinda how you managed to stake a human, isn't it? You are nothing but a screw up, you can't do anything right, and as Daddy used to tell you, there's only one thing you're good for."

Everything I ever learned in therapy goes down the drain as I feel myself slipping back into the girl I used to be, because it's easier, it's what I know, it's how I deal. I just keep repeating 'I don't care' over and over again, cause I know if I say it enough, I'll start to believe it.

"Nice walls you're trying to build up, too bad they won't help you, I'll find a way to get through them. I'll just keep this body and feed off you...Or maybe killing you is the way to go..."

The thing occupying Buffy's body, strikes out at me, hits me in the face; I fall back a little from the force. I hit her back with as much force, knock her back a little. I gotta let the instinct take over or I'm done, it'll win, it'll get what it needs and I can't let that happen.

It stops and stares at me, trying to gauge my abilities, it knows I can move just like it can. It decides to go after someone weaker first and it lunges toward Dawn, I lunge at it. There is a flurry of activity now as the fight is on in earnest. I'm on it now, trying to pin it down, trying to get it to stop, it rolls us over and it's on me, its hands...her hands wrapping around my throat, so willing to kill me. It brings back all those memories from the rooftop, her wanting me dead, and me hoping she'd choose me over Angel for once. Making her decide: slayer or vampire, the killer in me or the killer in him. I struggle to remove her hands; her grip is too tight, I know I have to do something quick before she chokes me to death. I try to punch her, but it doesn't faze her, I don't have enough momentum to make a dent.

Angel jumps in and kicks her off of me. She's up in an instant and has moved onto him next, she punches him and knocks him back, I take the opportunity to take her legs out. She goes down hard, Angel grabs her and throws her toward the wall, I wince when I hear the thud of her head hitting the wall. She gets to her feet slowly, shaking slightly, seemingly out of it and he goes after her again and I know it's a mistake, it's what she wants. I see the stake come from behind her back, I see the grin spreading across her face, I know he doesn't see the stake, he has no fucking idea. Why is he moving so slowly?

I push him out of the way and get the stake that would have dusted him, in the shoulder. Good thing he's taller than me, if we were the same height, I'd be dying just like Allan Finch. Wouldn't that have been some more poetic justice for me, huh? She slams me hard into the wall, my shoulder throbs as she pulls the stake back out, fucking A that really hurts, why does it always hurt more on the way out? That makes me angry, I embrace that anger and use it to kick her back from me, then I punch her with as much force as I can muster. It knocks her away from me and onto the floor, the stake goes flying out of her hand and slides across the floor, Xander grabs it and backs away. She's up in a flash, she looks towards Xander, thinking about it, but she knows what I know I can't keep this up much longer, not with a shoulder that's bleeding this badly. My blood is running down my arm, dripping onto the floor. I know Angel is trying hard not to lose it, slayer blood running freely has to be driving him nuts. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Wesley with the tranq gun, thankfully it's still here and loaded for bear. I circle around her, make her move so her back is to Wesley, cause I don't want her to see it coming.

I sincerely hope Wesley has better luck hitting Buffy than we did trying to hit Angelus. The first shot hits her high on the shoulder, it doesn't stop her, she doesn't even know she's been hit. She punches me hard in the face, I punch her back, just trying to buy some time and she keeps coming. The second shot hits her in the back of the thigh, still not stopping her. She punches me again and this time I lose my balance, damn, I'm slipping on my own fucking blood. Somehow that seems really wrong to me. She kicks me hard in the ribs knocking all the wind out of me, and jumps on top of me; I guess third times the charm because it hits her in the ass and she finally just slumps on top of me. A few seconds later Wes and Gunn are pulling her off of me, and help me to my feet, I look at them.

"Shackle her and put her in the cage downstairs until we figure out what we're dealing with..."

They just nod and start to move her, Angel is already gathering the shackles, I guess I'm slayer in charge again, lucky me.

CHAPTER TWELVE - Breaking the Girl

POV Faith

Buffy's gone...Buffy's gone...every beat of my heart is saying the same thing over and over again. Why does everything always have to get fucked up? We were doing so good, things were going so well. I sit there watching the monitors, watching Angel chain her up, feeling that sense of déjà vu all over again. I remember the last time I watched Angel chain her up...I try not to think about it.

I wince as Wesley pulls another splinter out of my new stab wound; another stab wound courtesy of Buffy. I embrace the physical pain though; it's easier to deal with than the emotional pain I feel right now. I watch Fred on the monitor taking her blood, guess she's gonna run it through the lab at Wolfram & Hart. I watch Buffy lying there, looking so much like she's just sleeping, so much like everything is fine. I can't help but wonder if I'll ever get to hold her again, or if I'll ever get to tell her how much I love her, how much I need her.

The Sunnydale gang is all sitting quietly, trying to comprehend what has just happened to their chosen one. I look over at Dawn; she's calmer now, letting Willow and Xander offer her what little comfort they can. She kinda freaked out, I guess that's understandable, Buffy did just try to attack her. I guess this sort of thing has happened before, poor kid, I wish she didn't have to see all this crap. Sure the monks might have kept her safe by sending her to the slayer for protection, but this is no kind of life for her. She should be living it up, having fun, thinking about boys and stuff, hanging out at the mall; she shouldn't be worrying about people trying to kill her, or the world ending. I think about it and wonder if this is what being a parent feels like, to want something better for your kid. Is that even what Dawn is to me? My kid?

After he's done cleaning and bandaging my shoulder, Wesley steers me toward the couch, I look back at the monitor, he whispers to me, "It's ok, Angel will stay with her."

I just nod and take a seat, I know I've got some explaining to do. I know they have lots of questions, I have a couple myself too, mainly as to why Giles has been glaring at me for a while now. I can tell he's about to say something so I quickly take a deep breath and begin cause I'm not ready for whatever he's gonna say. And I'm in no mood to play 20 fucking questions, so I'm gonna tell this story from the very beginning. Hopefully, it'll provide some clues to help Buffy, but at the very least it'll help clear the air between all of us, which is long overdue.

"I felt Buffy die, I was sitting in my cell, and I felt it. I felt this sense of falling, this really painful surge of electricity, a ripping sensation and then a brief surge of adrenaline. I knew at that moment, I was the only slayer, and she was gone. I was awake for hours that night wondering what it all meant, wondering how it happened, wondering if I had been there, would things have ended the same way. At some point I must have fallen asleep, cause I dreamt it. We had shared dreams before, twice, I think. I was a little sketchy on the details cause I was kinda unconscious at the time."

I take another deep breath, try to will myself not to cry. Breaking down is a luxury I can't afford right now. Buffy needs me to be strong, needs me to be tough, she needs me to save her again.

"The first dream wasn't a shared one, at least I don't think so. I saw her, on the tower, saw her talking to Dawn, it was confusing because I didn't know who Dawn was, I had never seen her before. I don't know if this is important or not, but I don't have any memories of Dawn, I don't know why."

I see the confusion and hurt on poor Dawn's face, it's pretty obvious that she remembers me. She so doesn't need any more crap right now so I try to explain it away.

"Maybe there's a limit on how many made up memories a person can have."

I know that explanation totally sucks but I'm not quite up to par at the moment. I look over at Dawn; she gives me a slight nod so I continue.

"The only reason I know about Dawn is because Buffy told me, but that came later, during one of the shared dreams. Anyway, she's on the tower, the portal had already opened, I heard the things she said to Dawn and then I watched as she jumped. I felt the whole thing over again, the surge of electricity when she hit the portal, her body continuing to fall. Then I felt the ripping sensation as I saw something like a light being pulled from her inside the portal. I'm thinking it must have been her soul that got sucked into the portal as it closed up. Or maybe the soul is what closed the portal, I don't really know."

"Um...she was stuck and I knew it. I tried to contact Angel, but I couldn't track him down. I tried calling Sunnydale, but I couldn't reach any of you either, I left a message. I'm guessing the message is what caused you to visit me, huh Will?"

I look over at her, and she looks down, I would have liked to keep her out of it, but she's got a part in all this and it's way past time to get everything out in the open. Xander prods her, "You went to ask Faith if she would come back with you, right? Faith said no that's what you told us. You came back and said that Faith refused to help us."

Willow finally looks in my direction, tears sliding down her cheeks. I wish there was another way, but she needs to tell them, she needs to admit her part in all of this, so she can move on.

"I'm so sorry Faith." I just nod, I know this already. "I-I went there as we all had discussed, to ask for her help. To bring the slayer back to Sunnydale, but when I saw her...I couldn't do it. I just snapped, I..."

"What did you do?"

Xander's tone is angry, accusing, and totally not needed right now, "Hey...take it down a notch or two..."

He shoots me an angry look, then gets it, this really isn't about blame. He looks a little contrite as he quietly says, "Sorry Will..."

He gives her a weak smile and she continues sobbing slightly, "I went off on Faith, told her it was all her fault, told her it should have been her. I told her we wouldn't accept her help, she wasn't wanted. That even though she was the Slayer we didn't need or want her around. Then I came back to Sunnydale and told you guys she refused to help us. Told you she laughed when I told her Buffy was gone...oh God...I'm so sorry..."

I know she's sorry, we hashed out all of our issues on the way from LA to Sunnydale. We talked about her slide to the dark side that started with her refusal to help me way back when, her sheer delight at thinking I was caught by the Council. Not at all concerned the Council was just going to kill me, God how she hated me, at the time I really didn't understand it, but I think I'm starting to get it now. Maybe Willow would have hated me anyway, maybe she would went down the same path, maybe it had nothing to do with the spell the Council put on her and the rest of them, and maybe, just maybe, the Pope ain't Catholic. Willow's dark side just continued to grow, and grow until she murdered two people in cold blood to exact her revenge.

I know the people Willow and I killed were scumbags, and something needed to be done to stop them. Nobody is really crying that these men are gone, but even killing the bad guys leads to some dark scary places. It makes you take a long hard look at yourself, makes you doubt everything you've ever thought about yourself. We've kinda agreed to work it like the alcoholics do, by sponsoring each other. If at any point we ever feel like we're losing it, we've agreed to talk to each other, help each other. I give Willow a quick smile, letting her know we're still good, no hard feelings. The past is the past. And not to mention she's pretty powerful now and I really don't wanna spend the rest of my life as a newt.

I pick up the story from there. "OK, so I knew I wouldn't be able to get help from you guys by asking directly, kinda figured Willow would have told you some stories. I figured nobody would believe me, and I didn't have any real proof, just that dream and a general feeling her soul was where it didn't belong. I even thought that maybe it was wishful thinking on my part, thinking I could somehow make things up to her, so I tried to forget about it. Then the shared dreams started, and they were brutal. I saw everything she went through, I felt everything she went through. Every night for five months we shared dreams. Sometimes she'd just beg me to save her, sometimes she'd yell and scream because she thought I wouldn't help her, other times she'd just show me things.

"I decided there was only one option left, one person who I might actually be able to convince. The one person I hardly knew, and who hardly knew me, well, she knew I was an asshole who made fun of her, but I hoped she didn't really know much else. She was scary talented when it came to all things witchy, no offense Will."

She nods, smiles a little, she knows I'm talking about her girl, Tara. I'm glad Willow and I had a chance to talk about Tara. I needed to tell Willow who was really responsible for her death. I had told Tara how hard it was to do the right thing when the one person you wanted to notice the most doesn't seem to care. I couldn't mind my own fucking business and wound up talking Tara into being in the place where she was shot and killed. Even while in prison I still managed to wreck people's lives. I still feel bad about it, even though Willow told me that if it wasn't for me, they might not of had that night together, she might have died before they made up. I didn't really buy it until she told me Tara's death was inevitable, if it wasn't the bullet from Warren's gun; it would have been the aneurysm they didn't see until the autopsy. Life really fucking has a way of sucking sometimes don't it?

"It took a lot of fast talking to get Tara to agree to see me, she really didn't want to do it. She really didn't like the fact she couldn't tell anyone about it, but she finally agreed. I told her the things that were going on, she was skeptical to say the least. She knew what Willow had told her, she wanted to believe I was the liar. After about twenty minutes she finally agreed to help, she said my aura told her I wasn't lying. I told her it didn't matter what Willow had said about me, she had her reasons for not wanting me around, and the only thing that mattered was to save Buffy. Of course when Buffy came back and started talking about being in heaven, I got another visit from Tara. This one was far less pleasant, I seriously had her pegged wrong cause that chick was wicked scary...

"Anyway...she'd e-mail me once a week to let me know how the plans were progressing, and to find out if anything had changed. By the time the summer was over I was in pretty bad shape, sent to the hospital for a little while. When you brought her back, I felt it, sorta lived it for a few minutes, then I woke up, got in touch with Angel, and I told him she was back, I also had to tell him my part in it. As to what is wrong with Buffy right now, I don't know. Angel kinda thought she might have brought something back with her, I'm inclined to believe that also.

"Buffy had thought something was wrong with her ever since she came back, she knew her behavior wasn't...'normal', after a few months she finally asked Tara to look into the spell. Tara looked but couldn't find anything wrong, although she only really looked into the spell; she didn't have a chance to look into any other possibilities. I kinda thought that was the end of it, and my help wasn't really helping, so I didn't pursue it anymore. But now we know, perhaps my new connection to the powers can find out some more information, yeah?"

I look over at her and she just stares back blankly. I wait a few seconds for her to realize I was talking to her. "OH..." She flips through her notebook again, I really need to get that book away from her if I ever want to know what's going on.

She writes down some information on the Hell dimension Buffy was in. She hands the info to Giles who confers with Wesley. She looks over at me, knows I wanted a little more on the information front and gives me an annoyed sigh.

"Fine, I'll go ask the Powers...try not to do anything terribly interesting while I'm gone."

She kissed Xander goodbye and with a poof, she was gone, off to confer with the Powers, or maybe she was just off to take a really long hot bath. Doesn't really matter, as long as she's not here being a distraction. Also, it's a good thing Cordy ain't around to see that, I got a feeling she'd be plenty pissed she had to deal with migraines while Anya gets to actually poof herself back and forth. Yeah, here's a little tidbit of information nobody knows not even Angel. Cordy actually came to visit me, although before she'd really talk to me, I did have to let her try to give me a black eye first, cause payback is a bitch and so is Cordelia, her words, not mine. But don't get me wrong, Cordy and I weren't like best buds or anything, but we did swap emails every once in a while.

Xander shakes his head and asks, "Here is something I don't get...and I know this is slightly off topic, but how is it that you and Buffy move so fast now?"

I wonder what the hell Xander is talking about as Giles finally stops glaring and starts asking rather angrily, "Ah...yes, Faith...how did you manage that?"

"Huh? What are you guys talking about?"

"The fact that you moved so fast we could hardly see it..."

I'm really fucking confused until Giles finally asks a direct question. "How about you tell us what happened in the Hellmouth? What did YOU do, exactly?"

Oh shit, I think I know where this is heading, I guess feeling each other's emotions isn't the only thing we got from the scythe. Goddamn it I knew we should have told them before this, freaking Buffy leaves me alone holding the bag yet again. I knew this was going to wind up being entirely my fault, that I'd be the one to get all the blame. You'd think I'd be used to this by now, but it still shocks me sometimes. Might as well get it over with. "We...uh... we held the scythe at the same time..."

I flinch, cause damn, Giles is pretty fucking pissed at me, "WHY!? Why would you do something you were specifically told not to do? These are serious magics we invoked, Faith, who knows what consequences it could have...you're still the same irresponsible..."

Fuck that shit, fuck him. I just yell back, "She was dying Giles...she held it out to me...what the fuck was I suppose to do? Tell her to drop it. Just turn around and let her die. Just leave her there like everything she's ever done doesn't fucking matter? We took a chance..."

He scoffs at me so I continue angrily, "You know what, you weren't fucking there, you have no fucking clue..."

He's still so angry he just won't let it go. "No, Faith, you have NO fucking clue... whatever is happening to Buffy now could be a direct result of that..."

Hey...Giles cursed...he cursed at me. That can't be a good thing. I try to calm down a bit and wind up being a bit nastier than I had intended. "No, it's not. Whatever is going on with Buffy was happening long before the First came along. Perhaps if you weren't so busy running off to England, abandoning her when she needed you the most, you would have seen it, just like Angel saw it and just like I saw it."

He just glares angrily at me, apparently he doesn't like being called out, especially by someone who wasn't even there at the time. I never would have done it to him if he had just backed off a little. I glare right back at him, and I cannot help being a bitch. "How about you start doing some research, try to solve the problem instead of just looking to lay blame?"

Everyone is quiet, trying not to look at Giles or me as we stare each other down. I'm not really all that upset with Giles, I get that this wasn't really personal, he's just really worried about Buffy, but I'm through taking shit from these people. He finally sighs, clears his throat, "Faith's right, we...uh...should really...get to work."

He gives Willow a list of things she should look up on the net, and then he and Wesley go to look through the research material here. I hope we have more luck fixing this then they had while trying to sort of my little family issues, which are officially on the back burner. If that woman really is my mother, then she'll understand and if not...oh well, I don't have time to worry about it. I'm used to having no family so you can't miss what you never had.

There's a lot of stuff Giles wants Willow to look up, so I run upstairs to grab my laptop cause I need to do something. When I come back down, Xander and Dawn are busy reading through some seriously large texts. Willow just stops and stares when I open the laptop and start tapping away. I give her a wink; "I've got layers..."

After about three hours with nothing to show for it, Xander decided we needed food and took Dawn with him, the ex-Watcher's decided they needed more books and went over to Wes' new office, meanwhile, Willow and I kept looking on the net, we weren't having much luck though. She knew a lot of places to look, I knew only a few, Internet research really isn't my thing. Oh, I know how and where to download illegal movies and music, I know how to email and google, but that's about it. She pointed me in the right direction though; found a ton of stuff I really didn't need to know. Like how liquefied eye of newt will help the Christmas cactus to flower, so I filed that under useless shit that is going to take up valuable space in my brain.

"This computer is too freaking slow...it's making me cranky..."

I push my computer toward her, "Here, use this one, it's way faster, and I seriously need a break."

She switches seats, and immediately starts working again, I just sit there and stare across at the monitor, Buffy is sleeping again. Not much excitement going on down there at the moment, an hour ago, she got up and threw herself at the bars and wouldn't stop. She threatened Angel, yelled more shit out about me, which was great cause I sure wanted everyone to know what my father did to me in graphic detail. Then she screamed all sorts of obscenities, ones that would even make a sailor blush, until he finally shot her again, and this time he used stronger tranquilizers, hopefully that will keep her out for a long time.

So far we've complied a list of over 200 things that can travel transdimensionally, although only about 5 of them take over their hosts, and none of them would be able to stay fairly undetected for a long period of time. Mostly they get inside you and grow and grow until they kill you, then eat their way out. Hey...don't look at me, I wasn't thrilled to have that information either, and the pictures were completely unnecessary.

After a few minutes of awkward silence I ask, "So, uh, how's Ken?"

"Oh...um...she's good. Sorta glad to be back to New York...although she's not happy to be back in school."

"Yeah, it is kinda hard to focus on school after fighting to save the world..."

"Yeah..." I can feel her eyes on me, "Um...how are you holding up?"

I'm kinda at a loss for words. I'm holding up, for now. Who knows how long that will last? "Um...I'm..."

"Faith?"

"I'm fine...just fix her and I'll be fine..."

I get up and start pacing around; I feel so fucking useless right now. There is nothing at all I can do to fix this situation, there are no demons to beat up or threaten within in inch of their lives. I step closer to the monitor, I watch her for a few moments, I put my hand on the monitor wishing things were different. I don't know how long I stood there before Willow finally called out to me.

"I think I've found it."

I came back over to her, "What? You found something..."

"Yes, I'm pretty sure this is the one. Ascariasis, it's a highly opportunistic parasitic organism, usually latches on to a host when a host crosses over dimensions. It gets inside and it feeds off the misery and suffering of its host. It doesn't really grow much in size; it uses the suffering until it gains enough power so that it can take over its host. In most cases it doesn't normally manage to get strong enough to take over a human host, but in some rare cases it's managed it..."

"I'm guessing memories of Hell were a seven course meal, huh?"

"Yeah...more than likely. It can alter a person's memories, create false environments..."

She just stops and I wonder what's wrong, "Will?"

"Huh? Oh...sorry, it's just...it did that to Buffy... It made her think that she was crazy and that Sunnydale wasn't real, it was just some weird world she made up. We researched and I really thought it was something else. I gave her the cure...then she tried to kill us and I just thought she hadn't been given enough of it. I didn't realize..."

She just trailed off, I could see she was blaming herself for not seeing it sooner, for not knowing Buffy wasn't quite right. None of this is really her fault; Buffy hasn't always been Ms. Open and Honest about her life, and yes, I realize pot, kettle, black and all that. Before I even realize what I'm doing, I rub her back slightly and tell her, "It's ok, Will, don't beat yourself up...you didn't have all the information. It's kinda hard to find out the solution when you don't really know what the problem is, but we do now..."

She gives me an odd look, damn...I'm really not good at this shit, and what kinda lame crap was that... I just shrug at her; "I'm kinda bad at the whole comfort thing..."

She shook her head at me; "No...you're not bad at it. It was good, really..." She smiled at me, "Thanks Faith..."

I just nod along like a retard and mumble out, "No problem..." I hate that I always feel like an idiot in these situations, I never really know what I'm supposed to do or say. Thankfully, she just goes back to reading the screen.

"Um...it usually dies way before it gets strong enough to do much of anything."

"What kills it?"

"Normally, just plain alcohol..."

Well that makes sense; usually unhappy people tend to drink a lot. "OK, so we just get Buffy drunk..."

"I wish it were that easy, but once it's taken over, there's not a whole lot of things that can be done. Plain alcohol is too weak and most other things will give it permanent residence, so we definitely can't use magic directly."

"Don't fucking tell me it's hopeless Will..."

She looks up at me, now it's her trying to reassure me. "No, it's not hopeless...there's lots of hope, hope a plenty. We'll get her back, don't worry. There's a cure, although it's not pleasant. It's a combination of a pint of blood from a Strom demon, a pint of wood alcohol, and some magical enchantments..."

"Um...I know I'm not the smartest person in the world, but isn't wood alcohol like extremely poisonous...don't they like use that stuff to make like...formaldehyde."

She looks over at me with a confused little smirk, "When did you become knowledge girl?" I just give her a non-amused look and a shrug, Willow smiles slightly, "Um...anyway... normally, yes, it's fatal, but with the added ingredients, it's only...slightly toxic."

"Slightly toxic? Is that in any way like slightly pregnant?"

She ignores me and continues, "It kills the parasite, then when it starts to burn the stomach lining, the host becomes violently ill, and in all cases the dead organism is ejected, along with everything else. Eww..."

"What?"

Willow doesn't say anything just stares at the screen, I prompt her again, "What?"

She turns the screen toward me, my stomach lurches slightly, "I sure hope Xander ain't bringing back pizza..."

"Yeah...seriously..."

Within a half an hour everyone has reconvened, all except Anya, I swear if I find out she was hanging out at a coffee shop somewhere, I'll send her back to the Powers personally. It's been decided that Angel and Xander will go after the Strom demon, get him to donate a pint of his blood. And since we don't necessarily need him dead, I'm gonna sit that one out. Angel didn't seem too thrilled to have to work with Xander, especially when Xander called him 'Dead Boy' again. Xander looked over at me, I pointed at my eye, a gentle reminder to him that it was Angel that arranged and paid to have his eye fixed, so he should really play nice. He rolled his eyes at me but nodded that he understood.

Wes is on his way to England, he found out his Dad had some involvement with the Council's special project. Fucking special project, like I wasn't a real person, that I was only some sort of tool for them-fucking bastards. I don't even want to think about it right now. I really would have preferred if he hadn't left, I want everyone working on helping Buffy, I could give a rat's ass about me right now. But, Angel assures me he's not really needed, and wouldn't call him back even if I asked him to, so I didn't.

Gunn is keeping watch on Buffy, making sure she doesn't cause any more problems, hopefully the sedatives will keep her out of it. Giles, Fred and Willow are going over the other ingredients, which leaves the kid and me with nothing to do but worry.

She's just sitting there, staring at the monitor; so I take a seat next to her. She's trying so hard not to lose it again, to not just start crying. She looks at me and doesn't say a word, just puts her head in my lap, and I just gently stroke her hair. It's kinda weird me doing this, I'm not what you would call maternal by nature. At least that's what I've been led to believe, but sitting here with her, I really feel it now. I feel this strong connection with her, kinda along the same lines as my connection to Buffy. It's not exactly the same, it's a little different, because it's like she's a part of both of us, and she really is, she's mine and Buffy's. Wow, that should feel more weird shouldn't it, I hardly know this kid, and I've spent zero time with her since I came back yet there is a connection here that I can't deny. One that I didn't feel yesterday or even this afternoon, I mean sure, I liked the kid, she's Buffy's sister, I kinda had to like her, but now I...I feel like...I love her. Like I said, just plain weird.

I don't know how long we sat there but I must have dosed off because I had a nightmare. That's really not unusual for me though, I've always had them, just not so much in recent weeks. I had thought I was done with them, but apparently not.

I was back in my old apartment back in Boston, and even though I've been told this didn't really happen, it doesn't seem to make this any easier to take. My mom and Ronnie drinking and getting high--fucking heroin, I fucking hate drugs. I sneak out of my room and into the kitchen, I'm so fucking thirsty, I just want a fucking glass of water. How many times had I done that, had a glass of fucking water with no fucking problems, had I known the shit that was gonna happen I woulda stayed locked in my room feeling thirsty. I didn't even fucking hear him coming, I had thought they passed out, but here he comes, putting his arms around me from behind. Pressing me up against the sink, running his hands in places I really didn't want them, but had no choice, he was bigger than me, stronger than me, he'd win, like he always did. Didn't mean I stopped fighting him though, I dropped the glass and it broke, I tried to grab one of the shards of glass, but I wasn't fast enough.

He grabbed my arm and jerked it behind my back, he kept pulling it up and up, the pain was unbearable, I did the only thing I could do, I slammed the back of my head into his face, broke his nose. He pushed off of me and backed up, I turned and kicked him in the balls as hard as I could. I'm sure the expression on my face was just as surprised as his, I had never really hurt him before. Seeing him howling in pain kinda made me smile, until he grabbed the knife off the counter. We stared at each other for a moment, and then she came in, she always did have bad timing.

She looked over at him, surprise on her face too, she had gotten some beat downs from him too over the years, guess she liked seeing him bleeding for a change, cause she smiled at him.

"What the fuck happened to you?"

"Your little cunt of a daughter..."

She turned to look at me, disbelief etched her face, and then she turned back to look at him, blood dripping down his face, his one hand holding onto the jewels for dear life and just started laughing. She laughed at him, was she crazy, or just too high to notice the knife in his other hand, I'll never fucking know. Everything happened so fast that I wasn't sure he'd actually stabbed her, until he said, "Think that's funny?" And she didn't answer him, she just kinda gurgled, then he really started stabbing her, over and over again, screaming at her, "Still fucking funny? You ain't fucking laughing now are you bitch?"

I just stood there, I couldn't move, I was frozen to my spot. After what seemed like hours of him kneeling over her body, slicing away, he turned his eyes on me. He looked right at me and said, "What? What the fuck are you gonna do?"

I was too scared to say anything; I just kept looking down at all the blood on the floor, and back to his eyes. There was a blood stream on the floor; it kept inching its way closer and closer to me. I didn't want it to touch me, didn't want her blood getting on me, I thought something really bad would happen if it touched me. Like seeing your crazy stepfather kill your mother wasn't bad enough. Of course I didn't realize it at the time and wouldn't for a few more hours, I already had her blood all over me, kinda got sprayed in the frenzy, and yeah, I freaked the fuck out when I realized it.

I heard the sirens in the background, the cops were coming, hopefully they were coming here, hopefully Ms. Diaz called them again. I looked back up at Ronnie, he was covered in her blood, he wiped his hand over his face, spreading it all around, I wanted to throw up right there. "You want a piece of me now? You wanna kill me?"

He tossed the knife over toward me and I jumped back as it skittered across the cheap linoleum, I looked at it, and looked back at him and he said, "Go ahead...take the knife...kill me. Just remember...you kill me, you become me..."

I felt someone shaking me and I awoke with a start, I couldn't see anything through the tears in my eyes. Thinking it was her blood all over me I frantically wiped my eyes, screaming, "Get it off me, get it off me..."

I felt strong hands grabbing at me and I whimpered, "no..." Then I heard him, I heard Angel talking me, soothing me, trying to get me to calm down, to bring me back to reality. I finally focused my attention on the here and now, Giles, Willow, Xander and Dawn looking worried and confused. Angel just looking at me with concern, I finally managed to speak, "I'm ok..."

I heard Buffy's laughter through the monitor, "I knew I'd get through Faithie, I told you I would..."

She was on her feet looking directly at the camera, Gunn must have tried to shoot her cause she grabbed at something and held the dart up for all of us to see. "Opps...guess you forgot about slayer speed...sorry Charlie..." She threw the dart back and we heard Gunn yell, "Oh...fuck!"

Guess she hit her target. She immediately started pulling apart the rest of the shackles and Angel ran for the basement door, with me following closely behind. By the time we got down there she was out of the shackles and starting to push apart the bars, god damn she's really strong, wonder if I'm that strong. Angel grabbed the tranq gun and tried to shoot her again, but once again she caught it, she grinned and threw it back at Angel and I tried to grab for it and was shocked to see it grasped in my hand. Shit...I didn't even see me grab it...that is so cool.

I was about to hit her with it when I was dropped to the ground by another memory. My father doing things to me no father should ever do to his daughter, I pushed it away, reminding myself it wasn't real, it didn't happen, my real dad's a good man. I threw the dart at her and hit her; she looked down, "Oh fuc..." before she collapsed onto the floor.

I blew out a long breath and looked up the stairs, "How long until that cure is ready cause I really don't wanna go down memory lane again?"

Willow nods, "It should take about 20 or 30 minutes...we'll...get started..."

I nodded as Willow started pushing everyone else up the stairs; I slumped heavily to the floor. Angel is right there with me, "You ok?"

"Peachy..." He laughs slightly as do I, then I say, "I thought you said this redemption shit was easy..."

He just says, "Piece of cake..."

CHAPTER THIRTEEN - The Remedy

POV Faith

After a few minutes of recuperation time, I helped Angel get Gunn back upstairs in the main lobby; we laid him down on one of the couches to sleep it off. I was about to go and check in with Willow when Giles called me over to the side.

"Uh...Faith, might I have a word?"

I just nod and follow him, hopefully this won't lead to another screaming match cause the last one kinda took it out of me. I don't wanna go off on Giles again, cause it's not productive and it makes me feel bad. I don't know why, it's not like Giles has done anything for me, although he did tell me I was doing a good job back in Sunnydale. The weird part was I think he actually meant it at the time.

"Uh...I just wanted to...uh...say I'm..."

"Yeah...I know."

"Faith..."

"Look Giles, it's cool, you're worried about Buffy, I get it. So don't worry, no hard feelings...k?"

He looks like he's about to say something else so I just keep talking. People apologizing to me makes me uneasy, so I try to avoid them if possible. And truthfully he didn't really say anything that upset me all that much, although that 'irresponsible' comment he made kinda stung a little bit.

"Look...I didn't mean it, you didn't mean it, let's just chalk it up to the heat of the moment and move on. We'll get this remedy thing together and bring our girl back..."

He gives me a slight smile, and a small nod. "I'll...uh...see if Willow needs any help."

Ok, so here's the deal, Angel and I have the cure; we even have it in a squeezable bottle so as to shoot it right down her throat. Kinda thinking the parasite won't wanna willingly swallow something that's gonna kill it.

The whole situation is kinda bizarre. We need Buffy to be awake for this, but we don't know how long she's gonna stay out this time. Also, we don't want to have to wrestle her when she does wake up, so... I straddle Buffy's waist, making sure to keep her arms firmly at her sides with my legs, and Angel is sitting behind me, right on her legs so she won't be able to move them either, like I said...bizarre. I mean, I know I've wanted to be in this position with Buffy pretty much since the first moment I saw her, but I never imagined it would be with clothes on and with her ex sitting right behind me.

I'm pretty sure it looks at bad as I was thinking cause I heard the gasp from the onlookers as we got into position. Ah...the things you do for love...maybe that's why I haven't done the whole love thing before. Or...at least I don't think I've done it before, I might have... Kinda makes me wonder what my life was like before. Who was I? What was I like? Did I have friends? Did people like me? I guess I could ask my...mom. Ah...who am I kidding? She won't be stupid enough to come back for me again; she's probably halfway back to New York by now. And who would blame her for it?

After a while of waiting for sleeping beauty to wake up, my legs are cramping up, and I'm feeling really restless as my mind continues wandering, thinking about all the bad shit I've been through, the things that were done to me, the things I've done. I'm starting to feel like shit when I realize what's happening, the parasite is trying to get into my head. It wants me to feel miserable, to feel sorry for myself, it's trying to feed off my emotions, which means she's waking up.

She's still lying there with her eyes closed, playing possum, but she can't keep the smirk off her face. I look down at her until she finally opens her eyes. I move fast, don't want to give her any opportunity to escape, I put my hand over her nose, pinch it shut and just wait cause sooner or later she'll need to breathe, and she'll open her mouth. She's struggling against us big time, I feel like I'm in some sort of crazy rodeo. She's trying to throw us off of her or to at least get my hand off of her nose, but I don't give in, finally she takes a big gasp for air and I squirt all the liquid into her mouth, then quickly cover it over. She continues to struggle, but finally has no choice but to swallow the liquid. She looks at me wide-eyed for a moment, our slayer connection hits me like a sledgehammer, a second later I feel her emotions again, uh- oh...

I quickly jump over her head, turn and lift her up a little, unfortunately for my buddy, he doesn't move as fast as us, he is only just starting to get an idea as to what's about to happen. I'd like to save him from his fate, but then I'd get it and I don't want that to happen. I don't have much more time to worry about it cause there she blows.

Yep...that's right...she puked all over Angel, and then promptly passed out. I really have to suppress a laugh, cause the look on his face is really fucking funny. I don't think I've ever seen a vampire look quite as disgusted as he looks right now.

I try hard not to laugh or at least not do it out loud, but I realize he can probably see my shoulders shaking with barely contained laughter. I look up at him, biting my lip so I don't laugh in his face. He glares at me as he gets to his feet, he walks out of the cage and up the stairs and I can hear him muttering, "That's fucking mature..."

It's not like I did it on purpose, well, not exactly. I can't help it, I start laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes, I know I'm gonna hafta apologize profusely later, but I just can't stop it. It didn't take long after Angel left before the others started laughing as well.

Giles and Xander came down and carried Buffy upstairs and into one of the other rooms; they picked the first door on the right. I told them we shouldn't be using that room, it wasn't right, but they didn't listen to me. Poor Angel came out of the shower in time to see her puke all over his bed and the rug in his room, I haven't seen Angel really pissed and I know now why everyone was so afraid of him. Damn that's a scary look, although it does kinda lose something when he's standing there in just a towel. I let tweedle dee and tweedle dum remove Buffy quickly and onto yet another room, my room, they better have a bucket close by cause Homey don't play that.

I try to calm him down a little with an offer of help. "I'll help ya clean up. Got any more towels?"

I try to look as helpful as I possibly can, and not laugh at him but it's hard. He lets out an angry sigh, "Yeah...just give me a minute."

He goes back into the bathroom to change, I just look around the room and try not to breathe, hope he doesn't take to long. When he finally comes out he reaches around my shoulder to wipe his wet hand on my cheek as he says, "Ran out of toilet paper..."

Gross! "Ewww....GROSS!..."

Now he's laughing at me, I smile along and nod at the joke, cause that's comedy gold right there. When he's done laughing, I tell him, "Since you're in a better mood, I guess you won't be needing me..."

In a flash I was out of his room and down the hall. Heh! Gotta love this new speed thing. And seriously, it's not like he has to breathe like the rest of us, cleaning it up won't be such a chore to him, like it would be to us.

I come into my room as Willow is asking the group, "Do ya think it worked? M-maybe it's not the best idea to leave her unshackled..."

"It worked, she's back."

They all look at me quizzically wondering how I can be so sure; so I sigh, might as well tell them the rest of it.

"I can feel her..." They look even more confused and I laugh slightly, "Her emotions...I can feel her emotions, scythe side effect. And also, I can feel our slayer connection. It was gone before, but now it's back so..." Finally they all nod and now it's my turn to ask the questions, "How come she's not awake yet? That a side effect of the magic potion?" I see the nervous glances back and forth and I'm starting to get a little freaked out, "What?"

Willow starts, "Well...um...yeah...it-it's probably the..."

"Probably!"

Giles jumps in, "There's no need to panic or...or get upset...magic...uh...isn't always exact, and there, uh, is the fact that she's a slayer...and, uh..."

"Oh...so you're saying you just don't know, she could wake up any minute or she could be out of it for a while?" They all nod nervously, why are they so nervous? Do they think I might go all psycho on them? "Hey guys...what's going on here? What aren't you telling me?"

I look to Giles, but it's Willow who answers me, "We aren't sure why she's not awake right now. It could just be from everything that happened..."

"Or?"

"Well...finding out about being in Hell might make her not want to wake up. The last time something really traumatic happened she kinda...hid inside her head for a while. I literally had to go in and drag her back out again."

"Oh...well, I guess we'll just have to wait and see...I don't think it'll come to that, but it's good to know it can be done."

We all sat around the room and watched Buffy for signs of her waking up, but she wasn't having any of it. Things took a turn for the worse when Anya came back; she gave us all the information we already knew. I was starting to feel bad I had thought she wasn't helping Buffy until Willow told her we already found the cure. She got all sorts of mad and started yelling at us. Then she grabbed Xander and announced her intentions, poor Xander, I don't think I've ever seen that shade of red on a person before. Dumbass shoulda ran while he had the chance.

Giles and Willow left a few minutes later leaving just the kid and me to keep watch.

We've been sitting here for hours; Dawn has been dozing in and out for most of the night. I knew she wouldn't want to leave so I wrapped a blanket around her and just let her sleep. It was early the next morning when Buffy finally opened her eyes and looked around.

I could feel how terrified she was, she didn't know where she was, and I'm not quite sure she even knew who she was at that moment. I slowly came over to her and knelt down next to the bed. It took a few attempts before she actually let me touch her arm, a couple of more before she let me stroke her hair gently. All the while I kept trying to re-assure her, let her know she was safe, nothing was going to hurt her.

After a while she had calmed down enough to talk, but only a single word. "Hurts..."

Still speaking softly, "Yeah...it's gonna...for a little while, but it'll get better. I promise."

She nodded slightly, managed a small weak smile. After a few more minutes she asked, "Water?"

I got up and poured some water for her, as she struggled to sit upright, she's kinda weak from all the puking, fighting and remembering. I handed her the water and she started drinking it way too fast, and I do have strict rules about puking in my room.

"Hey slow down on the water, your stomach's kinda..."

She nodded and I went to move away from the bed and she grabbed my arm, she looked completely freaked out, "...d-don't leave me..."

That phrase brings back a flood of memories. I remember how many times she said that to me, how many times she'd beg me not to go, not to leave her. But it wasn't like I had a choice, I was in prison, it wasn't like I could choose to sleep in and stay. I did try to stay with her as long as possible, for months I'd be woken up by either the guards or by the prison doctor, once I even woke up in the hospital, and by the time August was over, I just stopped waking up all together. I stayed with her, I didn't leave her side, which meant we were both stuck in hell until the gang pulled her out and I finally woke up again.

I sat back down on the bed, "I won't leave...I'm right here...Wanna talk about it?"

"No..."

Kinda what I was thinking she'd say. Not that it matters cause I can't help her with this. There is one person here who can help her, the same person who helped me deal with all that Hell shit. Angel can help her cause he's been there himself, he's the only other person to have been to hell and back...literally.

"Well...you're gonna have to at some point, cause a thing like this...is too big to bury, too big to try and forget, it needs to be dealt with Buffy."

I can see how upset she is at the prospect of dealing with all that shit, I can feel it, I can also feel her trying to distance herself emotionally. I know how dangerous that is, and I wish a thousand times over she didn't ever have to deal with any of this bad stuff, but she does, there just ain't no way around it.

"It's ok baby. I'm not saying you have to do it right this second, or that you should even do it with me, but at some point you'll need to deal, and I'm pretty sure you know who can help you. So when the time comes, let him help you."

She won't look at me; she's looking everywhere else but at me. It's kinda funny how much alike we are, how much we'll both hide from our emotions, from our feelings for as long as possible. It's like pulling off a Band-Aid, you know if you do it quickly it won't hurt as much, but there's just something inside us that makes us wanna drag it out hoping it won't have to hurt at all.

We just try to ignore it, until it eventually goes away. That works for a little bit, but after a while things start piling up, and piling up, until you just can't deal with anything anymore. The good news for us is that we can feel each other's emotions, we can hide it from everyone else, but there is no more hiding from each other.

After a few moments, she reached out slowly and touched my shoulder; her eyes were wet with tears.

"It's fine, it's all healed...good as new. And hey, better me than Angel, right?"

I smiled at her, trying to show her it was ok, we weren't gonna be going 20 rounds over it. But she wasn't looking at me. She slid her hand down my arm and then reached out to touch my stomach. I didn't mean to do it, I would have liked to play it cool, but I couldn't help it, I flinched when she tried to touch me. It's not like she was going to hurt me, not like she had a knife this time.

She caught the flinch and started to cry, "I'm so sorry..."

"I know baby, I know...but it's ok...I forgive you..." This moment is way too intense for me; I have to do something to break up the tension. I reach up and wipe her tears away, "Besides, if you start bawling, then I'll start, and I think it would be really bad for our images...us slayers with wicked cool new superpowers can't be sitting around bawling like a coupla crybabies, now can we?" I'm worried that my attempt at humor wouldn't be appreciated when she laughed slightly, and I wanted to hear that laugh again, so I continued joking, "Although I have to ask, you do know I'm not really a pincushion right?"

She laughed a little more this time; then shook her head at me, "You're an ass..."

I give her a big smile, "Ya think?"

She smiles back at me and asks, "New superpowers?"

I can't help being all excited about the prospect of having new powers, which is the coolest part of this gig. It's like being a superhero without the dorky alter ego thing. "Oh hell yeah...Dude...we're like twice as fast as we used to be..."

"Really?"

Deep down I know Buffy digs that part too, although she might never admit it. But she doesn't have to anymore; I can feel it, and right now she's curious about these powers, curious and more than a little apprehensive at the same time. "Yep, and I'm guessing we also heal faster than we used to...explains why my shoulder healed in a few hours, also explains why getting run through with a sword didn't stop you from kicking some major ass back in Sunnydale."

Her smile fades a little as she thinks about these new powers and what they mean. They mean she's not as done as she thought she was, that even though there are lots of new slayers, they don't have near the capabilities that we do now. Her and I are still the last defense against all the bad shit, the everyday demons and vamps probably won't be our concern anymore, but those damn apocalypses will still be our problem.

I wonder how she is going to deal with all this, she's never been happy about being a slayer, she's never really accepted it. Don't get me wrong, she did the job, she did it better than any other, but she was never happy about it. Now me on the other hand, was always happy about being a slayer, it could even be said that I was a little too enthusiastic about it. But, in my head, this was always my chance to be something, my chance to not be as useless as everyone in my life told me I was, or more importantly as the Council led me to believe. Of course, I have no idea how I'll react if I ever get my memories back; maybe I'll suddenly hate it, but I guess I'll cross that bridge when and if I get to it.

She looks up at me with that half little smile that I love so much, "I guess the forces of evil better get their asses to Defcon One, cause the Chosen Two are back in business."

Although I know she's not as happy as she's pretending to be right now I just grin back at her. We both know she's lying, but we've got plenty of time to deal with her issues later; right now she just needs a break. I just can't wait to see how mad the newbies will be, I wonder how pissed Kennedy will be when she finds out Buffy and I can still kick her ass, I can't wait to see her face, cause that's gonna be lots of fun. I know she was seriously pissing Buffy off when she kept talking about how she could kick our asses now, how we were going to have to listen to her in the future. That girl has got lots of balls, huh? I kinda like it though, she'll make life really interesting or annoying, depending on which day of the week it is.

I was just about to remind her of the fun we'll have when Kennedy finds out, when she suddenly got up quickly and ran for the bathroom, I think she's puking again, I'm gonna try not to take that personally. A few minutes later I heard the flush, heard her brush her teeth, then turn on the shower; and I realized she didn't have any clean clothes in there. Not to mention the fact that there wasn't any towels in there either, I got up and picked out some stuff for her to wear, I guess I figured out what Lorne did yesterday, cause there are actually clothes for her in my closet. I also grabbed a towel and laid them inside the bathroom on the edge of the sink. I picked up her old clothes and held them at arm's length as I carried them out of the bathroom and dropped them into the garbage. I quickly realized that wouldn't be enough, I tied up the bag and tossed it out the window to the garbage cans below. I took a seat on the bed and waited for her to finish up in the bathroom.

I was just starting to doze when she came out of the bathroom. She looks a thousand times better; I can sense she's feeling a little better as well. Although there is that underlying current of uneasiness running through her, but I'm content to let her pretend for a little while longer. She has been through a lot in a short period of time, I think she deserves some kind of reprieve. She smiles at me, "Thanks for the clothes...and the towel..."

"No problem...I think Lorne and Angel deserve most of the credit though..."

She nods and then smirks at me; "Did ya peek?"

Interesting question isn't it? I don't have the heart to remind her there was no need to peek; I'd already seen the goodies, sorta sampled them as well, although that was a few years ago. And I did have a different perspective at the time. Yeah, it's probably best not to bring that up, nothing good can come from that. "Nope..." She looks skeptical, so I hold up two fingers; "Scouts honor..."

She laughs, "Um...that's the boy scouts sign, I believe the girl scouts was actually three fingers..."

She holds up three fingers, and I nod, "Oh...I thought that was read between the lines..."

She frowns, looks at her fingers, and realizes what I meant then promptly shakes her head, "You're impossible...and I know you peeked..."

I give her a wink, "Just a little bit, cause you know this being good thing is a work in progress right?"

She smiles, "Uh-huh..." She looks down at Dawn still sleeping peacefully, "I can't believe she hasn't woken up yet, I swear she could sleep through anything..." She comes closer and sits on the bed, looks a little serious, "I kinda lied..."

"I know."

"You feel it now, don't you?"

"Yeah, it's kinda...freaky. The only other person I've ever felt that connected to..."

"Was me?"

I look away from her; "I had a funny way of showing it didn't I?"

"Stop it, I'm fairly certain we're gonna find out that most of the things you did were a direct result of the Council's interference. They are completely responsible for everything."

"But..."

She puts her finger on my lips to stop me from continuing, "No buts, if they hadn't interfered, if you woulda had your family, you wouldn't have done the things you did." I want to tell her she's wrong, I'm a fuck up, it's what I do, I really don't see how having a family woulda made a difference. Only woulda been more people for me to hurt is all. But she kept her finger on my lips as she continued, "And...you're looking at everything all wrong. You're failing to see the big picture Faith...."

I just shake my head at her because I've got no clue what she's talking about. I pull her hand away and say, "What big picture? I fucked over the only person I've ever felt close to, the only person I ever had a connection with..." Before I can even process where my mind is going, I ask softly, "How can you forgive me?"

I'm worried I just fucked things up, worried that my questioning her about it will make her question herself. I'm so very scared this will cause her to leave me. But Buffy doesn't even hesitate one second, she immediately says, "I can because you never let me down..."

I just look at her like she's nuts, and add sarcastically, "Did ya hit your fucking head?"

She looks at me slightly annoyed, "No, I didn't hit my head. Except that I actually did hit my head...but that's beside the point. The point is...I forgive you because you never let me down." I was about to seriously deny that, when she put her finger on my lips again as she continued, "...not when it counted. After everything that we did to each other, after I nearly stabbed you to death, you still helped me defeat the Mayor. I get it now, I understand how hard that was for you to do, how hard it was for you to betray the person who cared about you, who believed in you."

I don't want to cry at that; I don't want to cry because I know I did the right thing by betraying him. I did what needed to be done, but it doesn't make it easier to take. He was nice to me; he genuinely cared about me, in his own weird and crazy way. But none of that changed the facts; he was trying to become a demon, and needed to be put down.

"When I was stuck...where I was stuck...you stayed with me; you risked your life to stay with me. And just a few weeks ago, I needed your help and you came back, you came back...for me, to help me. I'm sure Sunnydale was the last place on earth you wanted to come back to, but you did. And you stayed and showed remarkable restraint by not hitting me back, although I would have deserved it."

Before I can interrupt, she continues, "And in the Hellmouth, I held the scythe out to you, and you took it, both of us knowing it was the only shot I had to survive that battle. You took it without a moment's hesitation; you understood exactly what I was asking by holding it out to you. And you took it knowing that it might not work, knowing there could be serious consequences afterwards. You saved me yet again Faith..."

I won't look at her cause I still don't think I've done anything to make up for the shit I put her through. Mostly because I didn't do any those things to make it up, I did those things because they were the right things to do. Also, going back to Sunnydale wasn't that big a deal cause I had inside information. Of course to get that information I had to make certain sacrifices, I had to sing, which wasn't nearly as embarrassing for me as it was for Angel cause at least I didn't have to do it in a bar with everyone staring at me.

"And if you need any more convincing that you deserve my forgiveness, just look at Dawn over there, she's someone you helped to create. She's a part of you and a part of me; she's...ours. How could I not forgive you when you're a part of the best gift I've ever received..."

Buffy leaned in and gave me the softest, sweetest kiss anybody has ever given me. She pulled me into a hug and whispered in my ear, "We're a family now...you, me and Dawn..."

I can't believe I'm so fucking pathetic that I'm actually crying. Crying because she wants me to be a part of her life, a part of her and Dawn's life. And just when I thought this moment couldn't get any more intense, she whispers in my ear again, "I love you Faith..."

Ok, so I'm not gonna stop crying for a while now, because she just gave me the one thing I never thought I'd be lucky enough to ever receive...her love. It's kinda frightening that the First was actually right, because I have always wanted her to love me.

I'm not sure when the moment ended and the kissing began, but I'm not complaining, not even complaining that we got interrupted...again.

Dawn called out from the chair, "Buffy?"

She jumped off the chair and launched herself at Buffy and I, giving us both a great big hug, then proceeded to start babbling away at a hundred miles an hour. I'm thinking that must be from Buffy's genes, cause I certainly don't babble.

POV Buffy

As I sat on the bed for awhile talking and joking with Dawn and Faith, I thought about how badly I have treated both Dawn and Faith in the past. Actually, it wasn't just me treating them that way, all of us did, Willow, Xander, and Giles too. I guess the spell the Council put on us to ignore Faith affected Dawn too. Kinda obvious when you consider she is half Faith, and half me. Guess that means we only ignored her half as much.

I'm interrupted from my thoughts by a pillow striking me about the head. I look up to see that Faith is the guilty party here, Dawn and I exchange a knowing look and go about launching a counterattack. It was a lot of fun, until they teamed up against me.

"Hey...no fair...two against one..."

Faith stopped and quirked a eyebrow at me, "I didn't hear you yelling that when it was you two against me, now did I Princess..."

Oh my god, she found a nickname I despise even more than B, I surely didn't think it was possible. I ask sharply, "Princess?"

Faith just smirks and says, "Yep...deal with it..."

Dawn started laughing at me, "Ha! Princess..."

Faith turned to her, "What are you laughing at...Squeaks?"

Dawn's face was a mixture of shock and horror, she squeaked at Faith, "Squeaks?"

I look at Faith still smiling, and rub my ear, "I think you nailed that one..."

"Thank you..."

"Oh no...you guys are so not gonna call me Squeaks, it's not happening..."

Faith and I moved as a team, she held her down and I tickled her until she finally agreed, "Ok, ok, I'm Squeaks...I'm Squeaks..."

I'm thoroughly enjoying hanging out with Dawn and Faith. Dawn is back to talking a mile a minute, loving having both mine and Faith's full attention. She's talking so fast I had to ask her to repeat what she just said, and of course she just can't help doing the fake sign language thing as she repeats slowly. See? That must be from Faith's genes. "I said...Buffy? Did Faith tell you what she did to Robin?"

I looked over at Faith more than a little shocked, and asked, "You told her?"

Faith looked back at me totally confused as Dawn continued, "She didn't have to tell me anything, I was there, I had a front row seat."

Uh, ok, I'd like to wake up now please...

The look of horror on my face prompts Faith to interject, "Whoa! Hold on...I don't think she's talking about what you think she's talking about. And I seriously can't believe you'd actually think I did that..."

Uh-oh, Faith looks kinda hurt, way to go Buffy that's the way to fuck everything in a matter of seconds. Of course I don't really think she would have done that.

Dawn interrupts, "Wait, what are you guys talking about?"

Both of us turn to her and say at the same time, "Nothing..."

After our little synchronized parenting, we just looked at each other and laughed slightly, it was kind of funny, it's almost like we're real parents. Finally somebody asks a sensible question, "What are you talking about kiddo?"

Dawn looks curiously at us for a moment then says, "I think I'd rather know what you guys are talking about."

"Dawn..."

She rolls her eyes at me, but she does explain what she was talking about. "I was talking about how Faith defended me to Robin. I cannot tell you guys how glad I am he's not gonna be my principal any more, he was a jerk."

I can see the confusion on Faith's face, she doesn't know what Dawn is talking about and I'm feeling that sinking sensation again. "Dawn...what exactly happened and when did it happen?"

She looks back and forth at both of us for a moment, "It was the night I kicked you out of the house, and have I mentioned how sorry I am for that..."

I just nod cause I know she's sorry, but I also know I needed to not be there. I needed time alone to regroup and get a good night's sleep.

"I was kinda freaking out and everyone was doing their own thing and I needed someone to talk to, and Faith was the only person to ever take me seriously although she doesn't even remember any of that..."

I look over at Faith as that realization hits me, I had just assumed everyone had memories of Dawn. And Faith acted like she knew her when I brought her back to the house; she even referred to Dawn as brat like she used to. It's also weird cause I remember Dawn meeting Faith, I remember being jealous that Dawn liked Faith better than me, how she was completely in awe of Faith. That's just kinda weird.

"Anyway, I went to your room and as I was walking down the hallway I saw Robin close the door, and I was just gonna forget about it but I was really upset. So I knocked anyway cause it was your room, and our house and I needed Faith. He opened the door and he was mean to me and then Faith opened the door even wider and told him off. Then he left, and Faith hung out with me on the back porch until the sun came up and then I made something to eat and Faith went to take a shower."

I'm still trying to process everything, but apparently Faith has already figured things out. I can feel how upset she is as she asks, "Just the high school principal huh? Who the fuck is he?"

CHAPTER FOURTEEN - Sex, Lies and Photographs

POV Buffy

That is indeed the million-dollar question now isn't it? Who the fuck is Robin Wood? In my bid to stay as far away from Faith as possible back in Sunnydale, I had only mentioned he was the new high school principal, I hadn't mentioned his mother the slayer, or him being raised by a Watcher. I hadn't mentioned anything that might have put Faith on alert to Robin nor had anyone else apparently, cause if she knew about him being raised by a Watcher I'm certain she would have avoided being around him.

I turn to Dawn and ask, "Dawn, can you go get Willow and Giles?"

She nodded and left quickly. I turned to Faith wondering what I was going to say to her, I'm sure telling her I'm sorry again isn't going to help, cause after a while it kinda loses its meaning. I told her about Robin and she just sat there taking it all in, not commenting, not criticizing, just listening.

I'm actually rather surprised she's not yelling and screaming at me for not telling her about him. She's much calmer about the whole situation than I would have thought, she asks, "You think Robin or maybe his Mom's Watcher was involved in what the Council did to me?"

I just shrug, "I don't know, but they'd have to be, wouldn't they? It's a little too much of a coincidence for him not to be connected somehow."

"Why though? Why would he do that to me? What could he possibly gain from that?"

It's a good question, a great question actually; it's a question that deserves some serious attention. Unfortunately, it's a question that doesn't have an answer at the moment, "I don't know..."

Her forehead is all scrunched up; I wonder what she's thinking. I don't have to wonder long because she says, "Although I have to admit, I'm kinda glad it didn't happen..."

"Well yeah..." I realize how that might sound to her, it might make her think I was pissed about it, and I wasn't, I'm not, and even if I was it doesn't matter because it didn't happen anyway. "Um...you were saying?"

"I was just saying that I'm glad it didn't happen. You have no idea how pissed I've been at myself for doing that. You know...I've worked so hard these past three years to get better, to get my shit together, and the first minute I'm alone with some guy, I'm just wanting to jump all over him. Kinda pissed me off to think that those three years were wasted, like...I didn't change one fucking bit..."

OK, this is gonna sound weird coming from me, especially since this is exactly opposite of how all these conversations have gone in the past. "It really wasn't that big a deal Faith. As you told me just a few days ago, people have sex it's not..."

She interrupts me; "It is a big deal...it's a big deal because I knew..."

Now I'm a little confused, "You knew what?"

"I knew I was going to get a chance with you."

"What do you mean you knew?"

"I mean...Lorne told me some things that were gonna happen, or would happen if I stayed on the 'path', and I didn't necessarily believe him...and it seriously would have been helpful if he coulda told me about this part..."

I'm starting to understand a few things, starting to get that Faith had some help deciding to come back to me. Can I even be upset about that? End result is she came back, we kicked ass, we got together...well almost together. One of these times we're actually going to get to the sex and...OK, I guess I'm not upset about it, still thinking about having sex with her, that's gotta be a good sign, right? I wonder how much Faith knew before coming back? I wonder how much she wanted to kick Lorne's ass when she found out about Spike and me or maybe he told her about that, but then how would he have known?

"Earth to Buffy...want some audience participation or do ya got it all covered?"

I look at Faith thoughtfully for a moment, I'm really curious to know what exactly Lorne told her and how he knew about it because Angel told me the only way Lorne can read people is by hearing them...oh my God...Faith must have sang for him. This I have to know, I can't help grinning at her, "What did you sing?"

She's quite a little embarrassed at the moment and now I know I really need to hear about it. Unfortunately, I don't get the chance to give her the third degree about it now because Dawn has come back with Willow and Giles in tow. But you can bet I'm not going to forget about it, guess it'll just have to wait until later.

Once they were settled and stopped asking me how I was doing, we relayed the information we discovered about Robin and what he did to Faith. Or didn't do, as the case may be. Giles didn't say anything, he was a mixture of embarrassment and thoughtfulness, like he was trying to piece together something while not thinking about the sex stuff. Willow wasn't so quiet though; she had some interesting information to add.

Willow glanced at Faith, who was busy counting carpet fibers I assume, and then she asked me, "Wait a minute...what night was this?"

"It was the night I was...uh...I wasn't there..."

No sense dragging up bad memories right? No need to talk about the night I almost made a gigantic mistake and if it wasn't for the fact that my friends love me enough to stand up to me and tell me 'no'... Yep, don't wanna bring that up.

"The next morning I saw Robin going into Faith's...um...your bedroom as I was going into the bathroom to take a quick shower, when I came out a few minutes later, he was coming out of the room. It was odd because when he saw me, he stopped for a moment and then he starting walking towards me and for a second I was actually kinda...afraid of him..."

Dawn nods her head vigorously and jumps in; "Did it seem like he was going to attack you? Cause I thought he was going to attack after Faith went off on him..."

Willow looks thoughtful for a moment, "Well...he seemed a little...I don't know...strange, but then Kennedy came out of the room and he just turned around and went back downstairs without saying a word."

OK, well, I've heard enough, time to go and talk to the man himself, perhaps give him a sound thrashing for messing with my girl. "Well that settles it, Faith and I will go up and have a chat with him."

"Buffy...I don't think that's really the best idea."

What? Not this again, why is Giles still fighting with me over this stuff? Um, hello, slayer in charge being all...um...chargeful or something. "Look, Giles...we need some answers and he's got them..."

"I wasn't suggesting that we wait, what I was going to suggest was..."

"What? Call Andrew? Let him know we're coming but tell him to keep it a secret? You really think that..."

I'm cut off in mid-rant when Faith taps me on the shoulder, I just look at her, "What?"

"Can you let Giles finish? I'm fairly certain he's on the same page I am..."

Same page she's on? What page is that? Is she referring to the Slayer Handbook again? How come I'm not on that page? Oh wait, I know...because Giles never gave it to me.

"I was merely going to mention, if Robin can perform memory spells he's a bit more than a beginner. Also, if he thought about going to go up against Willow, he'd either have to be remarkably stupid, or he would need to be at least as powerful as she."

Oh...that page...yeah, that makes sense, Willow is pretty dangerous herself. And even though she wasn't actively pursing magic at the time, if she was pushed there is no doubt in my mind she woulda pushed back.

Willow piped up, "And let's not forget we looked up Robin on the net and basically found out nothing..."

Huh? Wait a minute, "You researched him?"

Willow looked down nervously, "Well...um...kinda."

"Why?"

"Um...because you went out with him, and you thought he...um...might have possibly been evil?"

She looked up apologetically, as Faith jumped in, "So...let me get this straight, you thought he might be evil, and you found out nothing about him when you researched him...but you guys let him in on everything anyway?"

Willow wasn't helping me at all by adding, "And he did plot to kill Spike..."

Faith stood there with her arms folded, waiting for an explanation; I blew out the breath I was holding cause this isn't going to be easy to explain. Not to mention that in light of all these facts, Robin should have at least been treated cautiously. Then again, we were in the middle of an apocalypse, what did these people want from me? A guarantee? I'm not perfect. And I don't mean to sound so defensive and angry, but I can't help it. "I fucked up ok? Is that what you want to hear?" I turned away from Faith and looked at the others, "In the middle of an apocalypse I trusted somebody I shouldn't have...I'm sorry I let you all down...I..."

Then Faith did something I totally didn't expect; she came up behind me, and put her arms around me, which effectively stopped me in mid- rant. It also stopped the tears from coming; which is good because I hate crying in front of other people even if they are my friends. "You didn't let anyone down, I wasn't blaming you, I was just...um...clarifying. But I was out of line...you're right, it was an apocalypse and he did appear to be helping. And it's obvious you didn't know about the research...and his mother was a slayer, which I would assume is correct?"

She looked toward Giles, "Um...well...yes...Nikki Wood was a slayer who had a son named Robin and he was raised by her Watcher, Bernard Crowley after she died. Unfortunately, by the time Robin introduced himself, the Council had already been blown up, so there was no way to verify that Robin was indeed who he said he was. Nor was there any other way to find out about him, but there were other priorities at the time. However since we have the time now, I'll see if Wesley can find out any information about Robin from the Council's backup files."

Faith gave me a final little squeeze before letting me go, and I swear I don't know how I ever lived without her, I just know I don't wanna ever do it again. Who else would have known that was just the right amount of comforting for me? It was the perfect gesture at the perfect time, no other person I dated would have been able to pull that off without making me cringe inside.

I suppose now is probably a good time to try to get myself back in good with Giles, I smile at him hopefully. "Ah...ok, so, Giles...what do you suggest we do about Robin?"

He doesn't acknowledge my hopeful look, and I'm about to find out why. "I would suggest Willow should probably go with you, she could at least bind him from doing magic, and that along with your new powers, which we will be discussing at some point in the very near future, should be enough to gain some information."

Oh damn, he's mad at me. I hate when Giles is mad at me; and he has every right to be, I shoulda told him about Faith and I and holding the scythe. I don't do guilt all that well. And being a slayer, I should probably be embarrassed that I'm afraid to face an angry Giles alone, not to mention it is kinda throwing my girlfriend under the bus, but...

"You, Faith and I?"

"Yes Buffy, the three of us need to discuss these new powers and what it might mean."

I'm guessing that means it's going to be a long guilt-racked speech about my scared duty...opps...our sacred duty. Gotta remember I'm not the only chosen one, I'm half of the chosen two. I glanced over to see if I managed to piss Faith off when I shamelessly got her involved in that future conversation, but she's clearly not paying any attention to me or Giles. She's busy slipping weapons into every available pocket in her jacket, making sure she's ready to go. As I watched her hide those various weapons, I wondered when Faith ever went anywhere prepared. Cause she always borrowed mine, even in the cemetery with Spike... Hey....I bet she didn't really need my stake at all, she just used that opportunity to cop a feel of my thigh. Well, this is Faith I'm talking about, so I guess anything is possible, and I shouldn't forget the fact that I actually enjoyed it.

Willow seemed to be willing to participate, "All right, I guess I'm in. Give me 15 minutes to shower and change and I'll be ready to go."

Faith and I are waiting outside in the car, as Willow's fifteen minutes are slowly but surely turning into twenty minutes and counting. Giles is probably making sure she knows whatever spells might be helpful in dealing with Robin. But that does leave Faith and I sitting out here with nothing to do. Hmmm...what to do while we wait? Oh yeah, gorgeous slayer sitting next to me, I look over at her and after a few seconds she looks at me, "What?"

"Nothing...it's just that you got this..."

I motion her closer, that's right Faithie...come closer, a little more, ok, right...there. Mmmm...I love kissing this girl. She laughs into the kiss cause she knows I maneuvered her to be right where I wanted her. It doesn't take long before this little make out session needs to be kicked up a notch. I gently slide my hand inside her jacket, running my hand along her side, I feel her tremble slightly as I touch her. Oh yeah, she wants this just as much as I do, so I continue to move slowly, teasing her a bit. I'm moving my hand ever so slowly up her side, running it up and over...running my fingertips across her breast, she moans softly as I add more pressure, she's so freaking sexy right now...

KNOCK, KNOCK!!!!

Damn it... I turn to look out the window and Willow is standing outside the car with a big grin on her face, dang witch has really rotten timing. I open the door to let her inside and she says, "Oh, don't let me interrupt...that was kinda hot..."

OK, now she's done it, I'm blushing furiously as Faith laughs and grins at Willow. Oh no, these two ganging up on me is not gonna be fun, wait a sec, since when do Willow and Faith do anything together?

"All right, let's go...fasten your seatbelts ladies..."

I had thought Faith was just joking, but seatbelts seem like a really good idea while we are going mock 10 toward the 101 North. I don't know where Faith the safe driver is at the moment; hopefully she'll be back soon. Jeez, at this rate we'll probably arrive at the hospital before we left the hotel. When we got to the 101 North we saw all the traffic snarled on the highway, you know California really sucks sometimes. We look at all the food places we are about to leave behind and everybody's stomach is growling for some food, so we decide to stop.

Faith is halfway to the door of the restaurant before she realizes we aren't with her, she comes trudging back and gives me an expectant look. I can't believe how much her and Dawn's mannerisms are the same, I never noticed that before, that's really funny. We slowly get out of the car and I tell her the problem, "Um...I don't know about you, but Will and I are kinda...broke..."

Faith grins at us, "Broke ass bitches..."

"Come on, seriously, what are we gonna do?"

Faith pulls out a wad of cash and says, "I suppose...I could treat..."

Some nuns come out of the restaurant and walk by us, they stare at the wad of cash, then us, then the cash again, I guess they suspect we got this money illegally or something. I just know this isn't going to be good as one of them is about to say something to us, probably about following Jesus or we need to change our wicked ways. Faith just turns to them, gives them a wink, and a cheeky grin, "Saw my pimp today...and hey if any of you girls are interested, I'm sure he could find a spot for ya..."

They gasped at Faith and decided our souls aren't worth it and quickly got into their station wagon, and drove away. I frowned at Faith and I was about to give her a hard time about harassing innocent nuns, when Willow interrupted me, "You really DO need to find the fun, B..."

They both started laughing slightly like little kids who know they shouldn't be laughing but just can't help it. I gave them each an exasperated look, shake my head again and I walked toward the door. That's when they really started laughing, and here I thought that those two not getting along was going to be a problem. I'm not really all that upset, it was kinda funny and I'm happy Faith and Willow are bonding. Although I seriously wish they weren't bonding by making fun of me, but sometimes sacrifices need to be made.

We got our food without further incident, and got back into the car to continue our journey northward. We had a lot of laughs on the drive; Faith was regaling us with tales from prison. As usual with Faith you don't know whether she's making them up as she goes along or if those things actually happened. I don't know how she managed to make prison sound like nothing more than summer camp, but she did, and I don't know how she got me wishing I had been there with her, although, prison had to be a lot more fun than my life these past three years.

Two hours later, we arrived at the Pismo Beach hospital. As we were about to go inside Faith stopped us and said, "Look, whatever happens in there, just follow my lead, ok?"

I was a little apprehensive about Faith taking the lead here, usually whenever we went on slayer missions; I was the one in charge. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't trust her, or don't think she can do it, I just don't have a lot of experience in following. It's one thing to let her be in charge when I'm not around, but when I gotta follow orders it becomes something else entirely. You know, this just might be the hardest part about being with Faith, learning how to take a lesser role and not be bitter about it or second-guess her all the time.

Willow and I nod our consent, and follow her inside. I sure hope she's better at undercover work than I am, otherwise we could be in a bit of trouble. We had decided that sneaking inside was our best option, we didn't wanna alert Robin we were there, or get turned away. If it was up to me I would have opted for sneaking in through the back, by the kitchen or basement. I'm wondering why we are going in the main entrance, cause usually front entrances don't lend themselves to sneaking. If we get turned away it's only gonna make sneaking in that much harder, maybe I should...OK, I need to relax, I need to sit back and see what she's gonna do, I at least need to give her a chance.

Faith walked up to the reception desk with purpose and looked at the two old women sitting at the front desk. She smiled a little uncertainly at them and said, "I've got an appointment in Radiology...the first of many..." Faith's smile grew a little more uncertain and the women looked at Willow and I and Faith added, "They're with me...moral support..."

One of the women looked up at Faith and patted her hand in sympathy, calling her 'dear' when she asked Faith to sign in, which Faith did without question or hesitation. I cannot believe these old ladies are actually buying this shit, especially when I see the name she used to sign in, 'Jen Lindley'. I almost started laughing but then remembered I'm supposed to be 'moral support girl', but I couldn't help but go along with the joke as I signed 'Joey Potter'. Willow rolled her eyes at us, but played along too by signing in as 'Dana Scully', Faith raised an eyebrow and Willow just pointed to her red hair. The women told us to just follow the green dots, and wished Faith well, to which she thanked them with a small, sad smile.

We walked away solemnly following the green dots, after we got out of their eyesight we quickly ducked into the stairwell.

I just look at Faith, and I have to say I'm a little impressed. Not to mention rather thrilled that sneaking didn't mean cutting through the kitchen or the dirty boiler room. "I can't believe those women actually bought that. How'd you know that would work? What if they had asked for ID or something?"

She waved me off. "Ah...those women are just there to hand out the patient visiting passes they really don't care about anything else. Basically the just wanna get out of the house and find out what their neighbors are doing. Also Radiology is pretty much always a separate department, they make their own appointments..."

"How do you know all this stuff?"

Faith just shrugged, "Um...I watch ER?"

I seriously don't buy that's the reason she knows this stuff and I look to Willow to see if she was buying into this, when she said, "Ohhh, did you see the episode where Dr. Romano got too close to the helicopter?"

Faith nodded along smiling, "Yeah, that was crazy. One minutes he's just..."

I clear my throat to get their attention, "Um...can you guys come back to reality, this is real life, not some stupid TV show."

They both gave me an apologetic look, and Faith re- focused, "Um...right...ok, all we need to do is locate Room 212...Now remember you guys, act like you belong. Nobody ever thinks to question people who look like they belong."

She started up the stairs and Willow and I quickly followed. We found Room 212 with relative ease, unfortunately the room was completely unoccupied. A check of the surrounding rooms found some patients but no Robin, and there was no Andrew around either which had us feeling a little apprehensive. Andrew had volunteered to stay at the hospital with Robin, making sure to keep us updated on Robin's status. He had mumbled something about trying to do something useful with his life, I tried to tell him he didn't have to stay, he was more than welcome to join us at Angel's, but he seemed like he really wanted to stay. I didn't really think much about it at the time, somebody needed to stay and he volunteered so we left him here. I'm seriously hoping that there is some reasonable explanation for all this, that there is a perfectly good reason why both Robin and Andrew seem to be missing from this hospital.

Faith, Willow and I re-convened in the stairwell to plot our next move.

Willow volunteered to help, "I can use the old Jedi mind trick again, get the nurse to just give us the information we want, like I did with the Sunnydale police."

Faith asked, "A thing like that takes a lot of energy from you though, doesn't it?"

Willow nodded although she looked a little confused so I explained, "We'd prefer to keep our Willow weapon fully charged."

She smiled and nodded her understanding, I turned to ask Faith what we should do but she was already halfway down the hallway and to the nurse's station. I couldn't really make out exactly what she was saying, I caught enough to figure out Faith was making up some story to get the information we needed. In less than fifteen minutes, she was back with all the information the hospital had on Robin. I'm seriously floored at the relative ease Faith has with getting people to buy into whatever she's told them.

As Faith relayed the information, the mystery of Robin deepened. It turns out there is a record of Robin being in this hospital, but not in the emergency room on the day we dropped him off. He was here yesterday, apparently he didn't have surgery to repair the damage he sustained in the battle with the First, his records show he was admitted to ambulatory surgery to remove some pre-cancerous moles from his back. Willow and I both cried, "Ewww..." when she told us how many moles were supposed to be removed. I bet Faith is even happier she didn't really sleep with Moleboy now. Seriously, his whole back must have been covered with them, oh God that is totally gross. I mean one or two is fine, but whole clusters? I can't believe I actually went out on a date with him, I can't believe I was actually that close to all those moles. Ugh, I feel so skeevy right now. Ok, really need to focus on something other than Moleboy.

We managed to catch a break, the nurse was sympathetic to Faith's cause, whatever that may have been, because she gave us the name of the pharmacy where they called in Robin's pain medication prescription. Hopefully the pharmacy has another address for Robin because the hospital listed him as living in Sunnydale and covered under the high school's insurance plan. Something was seriously not right here; who the hell takes time to make an appointment to remove moles when there is an apocalypse going on. Did he just have a lot of confidence in me or did he have some kind of inside information or was he just plain crazy?

A half-hour later, we were casing the pharmacy, the pharmacist on duty was a young guy, in his middle twenties, early thirties maybe. While we watched him he was giving an old lady a hard time about picking up her prescription without proper identification. He flat out refused to hand over her pills because and I quote, "It's against our company policy." That guy really needs to lighten up, she's a cute little old lady for chrissakes. It's not like she's Pablo Escobar trying to start up her own drug syndicate, I mean really. This positively sucks cause I'm thinking getting any kind of personal information about Robin from this guy is going to be impossible.

I asked Faith, "What are you gonna do? I don't think this guy is gonna wanna willingly give up any information."

"Ah...don't worry, this guy's gonna be easy...all I have to do is ask him."

I looked at her skeptically and I couldn't help but ask, "What makes you think you can just walk up there and get him to look up personal information and give just it to you?"

She looked back at me with a smirk; "They're called boobs, Buffy."

With that she handed me her jacket, pulled down the front of her shirt, pushed up said boobs and sauntered over to the pharmacist. Meanwhile, as Willow and I stood there and watched I was the picture of calm even though the guy kept his focus on Faith's breasts and didn't look up from there once. OK, that's a lie, Willow had to threatened to use magic on me to stop me from pouncing on the guy. Apparently I have some jealousy issues I have to work through.

Ten minutes later we were walking out with an address for Robin, which was located right here in beautiful downtown Pismo Beach. It seems Mr. Stick-in-the-Ass Pharmacist made Robin give him an address that wasn't at the bottom of the pit that used to be Sunnydale. Meanwhile, Faith walked out of there with Todd's phone number, do you believe that's actually his name? I seriously didn't think it was funny when she put the number in her pants pocket. Although, Faith seemed to be enjoying herself when I pushed her up against the car and retrieved the number from her pocket, and ok, I might have lingered there for a moment, all right, a long moment, at least until Willow told us to get a room.

We got back into the car and found the address easily enough; the house was larger and much nicer than we thought it should be, much nicer than a high school principal could afford. Especially when you consider he had an apartment in Sunnydale too. We got out of the car and walked 'like we belonged' up to the front door, a ring of the doorbell produced no results, nor did a check of the mailbox.

Faith tried the doorknob and found it to be unlocked, which made us a little nervous, but we continued on inside the house anyway. The house was sparsely furnished in the living room, the kitchen had some dishes in the drain board, and the refrigerator had some beer, a half- finished gallon of milk, and a wilted piece of lettuce. The rest of the downstairs area had nothing else of interest; neither did the first bedroom we checked nor the bathroom. It wasn't until we hit the master bedroom that we discovered this had indeed been Robin's house.

Willow and I followed Faith inside the master bedroom, the bed was made, there weren't any clothes on the floor, we hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary then we heard Faith mutter the word, "Fucker..."

Willow and I looked up and noticed the closet door was actually one of those mirror doors, designed to make the room look bigger than it was, the part that pissed off Faith was that Robin had spray painted one single solitary word across it.

SURPRISE

I don't know why that word upset Faith so much, but one second we're looking at the door and the next we are watching as the shards of the mirror rained down onto the carpet. Yep, Faith punched the doors.

I frowned at her and added sarcastically, "That's talented..."

Although it wasn't so much sarcastic as true, because I looked back at the closet and I realized it wasn't a closet after all, but another room all together. Faith was the first to walk inside, with me following closely behind her. There was a string hanging from a light fixture attached to the ceiling. Faith was about to pull the string and asked me, "Did you ever see the movie The Longest Yard?"

"Um...no...why?"

"Oh, well then you won't find this amusing...nevermind..."

I heard her mumble, 'where's Xander when I need him', she hesitated a moment before she reached out and pulled it, illuminating the small room.

What we saw made us both gasp...The entire room was covered in pictures of Faith and I, sometimes we were together in the pictures, but mostly the were pictures of us separately. I saw pictures of me with my mom outside our house, at the mall, at the gallery, in front of the Expresso Pump, there were also pictures of me with Willow and Xander, there were even pictures of me with Tara and Willow. It would seem that Robin has been following us both around for a long while.

I turned to see how Faith was reacting to all this, she was over in the corner staring at photos of her with her family. I guess it's one thing to be told you have a family, but it's another when there are pictures proving it to be true. I went over to her and stood next to her and looked at the pictures. Some were of her and her brothers, some with her and her mom and dad, there was even one where Faith had her arms wrapped around some hot girl who looked an awful lot like Jennifer Anniston. They were both smiling big stupid cheesy grins for the camera, the thing that stood out about the picture to me was that they were both sporting identical tattoos, Faith's tattoo was on her right arm, and this girl's tat was on the left. How fucking cute is that? I panicked slightly, wondering if tattoo girl was Faith's girlfriend back in Boston. I wondered if that girl had moved on with her life, wondered if Faith would wanna go back to her, would that girl take her back? What would happen to me if they did wanna get back together?

Willow walked in and said, "What the f...?

For Willow, that's as close as you got to hearing her curse. I'm guessing she was more than a little freaked out at seeing all these pictures of Faith and I. I pointed over at the wall and Willow walked over and saw pictures of her, Tara and I. She stood there not moving for a moment, then she starting pulling out the pushpins. I thought it was odd until I remembered all the pictures she had of her and Tara were destroyed when the Hellmouth imploded. It also occurred to me that all the pictures I had of my mom were long gone too, it didn't take long before Willow and I were going nuts collecting the pictures. After a few minutes, I spared a glance over to where Faith had been standing, I noticed she was no longer there, and neither were the pictures of her family. She hadn't taken any other photos but those. I started to worry about her when I saw her sitting on the edge of the bed looking at her pictures. She looked so sad and lost; I just didn't know what to do. Willow turned and watched my gaze, "Go on Buffy, go to her, I'll get the rest of the pictures."

I just nodded and walked over to her, and sat down on the bed next to her. She spoke so softly I almost didn't hear her. "I was happy..."

She flipped through the pictures showing me her smiling face in every single one of the photos she had taken from inside the room. She looked so happy, so innocent, so completely opposite of the girl who first showed up in Sunnydale. She just looked like a regular teenager who hadn't a clue of how fucked up life could be, which just completely emphasizes how much the Council took away from her. I didn't know what to do for her; all I wanted to do was to take the pain away. It was breaking my heart to see her so sad, to feel how much pain seeing these pictures brought her.

I wanted to make her feel better, so I handed her the one picture I still had in my hand. It was one she hadn't noticed because it was on the opposite side of the room. It's a picture of her and I with our arms around Dawn in front of the Christmas tree. Robin must have stolen that picture from my room cause the last time I saw that picture it had been in a frame in my top dresser drawer. I'd be really pissed about that but if he hadn't taken it, it would be amongst the rubble of Sunnydale.

The picture hadn't originally included Dawn because she wasn't really there then; it had just been of the two of us. Faith had just arrived at the house and before we could do anything; my mom made us take that picture in front of the tree. I remember thinking that Faith would never go for the corny, in front of the tree picture, but she just smiled and happily complied. I was completely flustered afterward, being all hugged up next to Faith had me thinking all sorts of things, which is when I went up to my room and found Angel there and that was the end of that. By the time I came home the next afternoon, Faith had already left, my mom was seriously pissed at me and I was well on my way to breaking my promise to tell Faith everything. Faith took the picture from me and looked at it, she smiled slightly, and since I knew Faith didn't have any memories of that Christmas with Dawn being there, I proceeded to tell her what I remember and what Dawn had told me.

"You had said you weren't coming and Dawn was so mad at me, she told me the reason you said no was because I must not have sounded sincere when I invited you over. Which was pretty accurate, wasn't it?" I coughed slightly, then continued, "Um...She wouldn't talk to me the entire time we set up the Christmas tree, and then you showed up. You really saved my ass there too, because let me just say that Dawn not talking to you is way worse than Dawn non-stop talking to you. She was so thrilled that you showed up, she was jumping up and down, demanding that we take a picture with her in front of the tree. And then I went to help Angel, and you stayed there, hung out with her, you watched TV with her, and played monopoly all night, and then it snowed and you showed her how to make a proper snowball, and a mini snow man. I'm not quite sure why it had to be a mini snow man, there was enough snow to make a big snow man."

Faith shrugged, "No gloves, no winter coat, I suppose."

"Yeah well who would have expected snow in Sunnydale..."

She stared at the picture for a few more minutes, then asked, "Can I keep this?"

I nodded, "Sure..."

She put that picture along with another one in her jacket pocket, there was no need to ask, I already had a feeling what other picture made it into her pocket. I didn't say anything about the other picture, what would be the point, right? She doesn't remember who that girl is or why she was important to her, of course the identical tattoos say they were at the very least friends, I'm seriously hoping that's all they were to each other. Although permanent ink would suggest they were more than friends, right? But Faith and I are soul mates that has to count for something right? She wouldn't just choose some bimbo from five years ago over me, would she?

Faith interrupted my dark thoughts, with a quick kiss; "She'll never be able to replace you, so it doesn't really matter who or what she was to me." Said the girl who couldn't remember. I just nodded and tried not to think about it. She gave me a more serious kiss, and said, "We should probably help Willow take down the rest of the pictures, see if there's anything else of interest in there."

With the three of us working together, we quickly took down the rest of the pictures, went through the desk and filing cabinet. We found more photos, some spell books with lots of information about memory spells, several notebooks detailing the memories Faith was given, and a laptop which Willow will go through. The only thing we didn't find was a note telling us everything we needed to know, but I guess that would have been too easy now wouldn't it.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN - A Council Story

POV Buffy

The next few hours seemed to have flown by, as soon as we got back to the hotel we assembled the troops for some heavy-duty research. Even Faith's mother helped out on the research front, to which Faith seemed utterly indifferent, on the outside. On the inside however, she seemed happy and more than a little shocked her mother was actually here and was willing to help with the research. Did she really think her mother wouldn't come back for her?

Of course she did, family loyalty isn't something Faith knows a lot about at the moment. It still really pisses me off to think that the good guys did this to her, they were supposed to be working on our side. They were supposed to help the slayer save the world, not treat her like she was an inanimate object, like a sword you could use to behead a demon. A sword that you'd just put away and forget about until the next time you needed a demon taken out. It's no wonder slayers never lived that long, they didn't want to. Spike had told me that it's because all slayers have a death wish, they are so obsessed with death and dying that eventually they just give into it. As per usual, Spike was sorta right and mostly wrong. It's not because we're obsessed with death or because we love death; it has more to do with how we are treated. I believe it's because they got tired of being used, tired of not having a life, of never being allowed to actually live.

After a while of just existing like that, it is very easy to lose sight of what you are fighting to save, of who you are fighting to save and most importantly why you are fighting to begin with. And that is the reason Faith took the potentials to the Bronze, it wasn't because she was being irresponsible, it's because she knew what could happen if they were just kept cooped up, constantly being reminded they were going to have to fight, or more than likely die trying. Making them live like that with no reprieve, fuck if I wasn't exactly like the Council.

I also stopped getting close to them because they were more than likely gonna die and there wasn't anything I could really do to prevent it, and I couldn't deal with losing somebody else I cared about.

What Comes Next? by Kat Rating: R

What Comes Next?
by Kat
Rating: R