Alive
by Kayleigh
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Early Buffy season 6/Angel season 3 stuff.
Author's Notes: Umm.. For this to work, Willow doesn't phone Angel to tell him
Buffy's alive at the end of Carpe Noctem, and Faith is released from prison,
but doesn't live with Angel. This is kinda plotless, but it's not exactly
fluffy either. So in other words, its crap. LOL.
Dedication: Carl. For being himself. For understanding. For putting up with
my constant insane babbling about things. For helping me come up with the
title.
I knew. I felt it. I felt it when she died. And I felt it when she came back. I don't know why I felt it, and judging by the silence on the other end of the phone, Angel didn't know. He had no idea. And I've just told him the love of his life is alive again, and he had no clue. I'm surprised she didn't phone him as soon as she clawed herself out of her coffin. But then I guess the girl has different priorities now, she's got a little sister to look after.
"Faith, How do you know? Was it... did she phone you?" Angel asked tentatively, I could hear the jealousy laced in his voice, I didn't need to see him to know that he hated me right now. Hated me for being closer to her than he is. Even if in reality Buffy and I couldn't be further apart if we tried.
"I dreamt it. You know Slayer dreams" I lied to him. As much as I loved the guy, like a brother. I couldn't bring myself to tell him that I just knew. That everything that happens to Buffy, I feel in myself. Like an echo. It happened when she died, pain shot through me. I'm not familiar with being electrocuted, but I'm pretty sure that's what it felt like. And when she was dead, I felt more at peace with myself than I ever had done. It's weird. Because all my time in prison I had thought it was to please her, so one day I could say sorry. But if she's dead, that theory goes out the window. Perhaps she knew, in heaven, perhaps she had looked at me and thought I'm sorry too. Or maybe I just felt at peace with myself because I wasn't constantly scared she was waiting around the corner to finish me off. It's like that with her. Always has been, you never know whether you're winning or losing. She's always one step ahead.
"Oh. I'll phone Willow and find out if it's true" Angel's voice sounds a bit warmer.
"It's true." I say firmly. I know it's true, because the scared feeling has come back. But this time I'm not the one who's scared. It's her fear I felt. I feel. I wonder whether she can feel me in her. Is this a two way deal, or just something that I get as a consolation prize. Because I gotta say it's the worst consolation prize I've ever received. Feeling the one girl that you could truly say you loved pulled forcefully from the world isn't exactly the greatest feeling in the world.
"Okay. Then I'll see you Faith." He says.
"See Ya Soul-Boy" I try to sound a bit cheerier in my goodbye. A bit late now, I suppose. But can you blame me, this stuff is worthy of a spot on Jerry Springer.
I always wait for the dialling tone at the other end before I hang up, when I'm on the phone. Just in case the person I'm on the phone to says something at the last minute. So I wait. And the dialling tone doesn't come.
"Still there Soul-Boy?" I say after several minutes silence. What can I say, the suspense was killing me.
"There's an abandoned motel on a beach about 2 miles from the Sunnydale border. Be there tonight." His voice sounds serious.
"What is it? Some demon you need to fight there" But the only word he heard was What, because the dialling tone is ringing in my ears. Cryptic much.
I spot the derelict building in the distance and slow the bike down a little. As I approach I see Angel's car parked outside. I hadn't phoned again after his cryptic message to meet him here, if he wanted to be cryptic let him be. But maybe he thought I wasn't coming because there's another car parked next to his. Then I realise who the car belongs to. Buffy. Why the hell I didn't work out this was all about her, I don't know. I think about running, telling Angel I couldn't make it. But that option is out of the question when I see the two of them step outside the building. She looks great as usual. And they both have sad smiles on their faces. I begin to wonder what all the glum is about when she shouts over the roar of the engine. "We need to talk Faith." I kill the engine and lift my helmet off, balancing it carefully on the handlebars.
"Alone?" I enquire.
She nods, so I turn to Angel. "Keep an eye on her for me. She cost me a broken arm. I'm not looking to lose her" I say motioning to the bike.
"You stole it?" Buffy said surprised.
"From a demon. And she's not an it." Buffy just shook her head at me. Grinning slightly. As I step through the damaged door I realise this isn't gonna be as bad as I first thought.
There's an uncomfortable silence. I busy myself looking at the surroundings. It actually would have been a nice place to stay if it wasn't so dingy. There was a great view of a beautiful beach, and a beautiful blonde leaning up against the foyer.
"Earth to Faith." She's waving her hand in front of my face. I didn't realise she was talking. I should pay attention now, but I'm distracted by her eyes. Her eyes! Of all the things I could of picked to stare at it was her eyes. But they're so beautiful, like her. She has such captivating eyes. I must look like a right dumbass, but I don't care, 'cause I'm lost. Lost in her hazel eyes.
"Are you okay?" Her hands on my shoulders bring me out of my daze.
I nod. Not trusting my voice to do anything.
"Okay. We came here to talk. Not to stare at each other all night." I almost let an innuendo out then, but I held it back. Instead I say the one thing I've wanted to say since getting out of prison. "I'm sorry." And I love you. I add in my mind, but I don't risk saying it out loud.
"I know." She finally takes her hands from my shoulders, I miss the lack of contact already, but I can hardly ask her to put them back without arousing suspicion. "When I was... dead. I could see everyone, everyone I cared about. That included you. I could see what you all went through. And to a certain extent, I could feel what you were all feeling. But none of those feelings or experiences were as powerful as what I saw in you. I realised... I don't want to waste whatever we had. I want us to put the bad stuff behind us. Concentrate on the good stuff. And the good stuff we have to come. Because life's too short to waste a good friendship." I am stunned. Totally stunned. Almost so stunned I didn't hear her next comment. "Or maybe more." She whispered it, but she knew I could hear.
"I'd like that" I grin. I'm so happy. "I'd like that a lot."
She looks up at me, after seeing my grin she grins back. "I thought you might." She says before giving me a rib crushing hug.
I just revel in the warmth of her arms. The smell of her hair as I bury my head into her shoulder. And I pull back to look at her beautiful eyes again. And this time she looks into mine and we both see what we've looked for, for years.
Love.
Then I lose all coherent thought because her lips are on mine. And he tongue is seeking mine. And I respond. Because who am I to refuse her the right to kiss me.