Losing Hope
by Kayleigh
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Joss and co. own all. I own nothing.
Author's Notes: It's a Sequel so read "Tired Of Playing Games" first.
Dedication: Stacey - Love ya. Enjoy, since this is ya first fic ya gonna read.
Feedback: Yes Please. And if you do, I promise more goodies in the shape of B/F fic.
".... and now Riley is in military hospital and they won't let me see him" Buffy talked to the lifeless form of Faith in front of her. Glancing at her watch she sighed, "I have to go now," she lifted herself out of the chair and kissed Faith on the forehead. "Feel free to wake up" she whispered. Then left.
It had become a tradition, for almost eight months, Buffy had made every effort to see Faith at least once a week, she'd tell her what had been going on in Sunnydale, then finish up with a kiss to the forehead and say "Feel free to wake up". But she never did, and Buffy was beggining to lose hope.
Buffy dragged her heels all the way back to Xander's house, where she was greeted with a happier than normal Willow. "Why so happy?" she asked.
"I'm going to see a friend" she replied. "Where have you been? Slaying?"
"Umm... Yeah" Buffy answered off handedly. It was a lie she knew, but Willow and Xander still had sore spots when it came to Faith, and she didn't want to upset them.
"I'll see you later then," Willow began walking away.
"Will...." Buffy called after her.
"Yeah" she turned back.
Buffy paused, contemplating whether to tell the truth or not. "Nothing" she sighed.
Darkness claimed her, she couldn't see a thing. A hand clamped over her throat forcefully. "Have a taste of your own medicine" Buffy's distorted voice echoed from above her. She grabbed at the hand and tried to pry it away, but to no avail, then suddenly a white flash blinded her temporarily. When she opened her eyes again, she found herself standing up in Buffy's bedroom.
"Mmm.. they smell good don't they?" Buffy's voice brought her out of her daze.
"What?" she looked around a little, and found she had unwillingly began helping Buffy with the sheets.
"Clean sheets, like summer" Buffy said.
"I wouldn't know." She said before she even thought about it.
"I'm sorry" Buffy said remorse flickering about her eyes.
"I noticed" she smiled. "You have to go B."
"But I like it here" Buffy said, a slight whine in her tone.
"Don't let me keep." She began, but stopped when she heard a drip drip sound. Looking at the sheets she saw the small wet puddle of blood. "Damn. Just when we made it so nice." Buffy's stare moved down to Faith's torso, where her hand was holding the hilt of the knife. Buffy began shaking her hand urgently. "No.. no.. no."
"You don't have to spend your life trying to take this out B." Her voice sounded eerily even to herself. Her hand travelled down her own body to meet Buffy's at the knife, where she gently removed the hand and pulled the knife out herself. As she flinched, her surroundings faded again.
Buffy sat up straight on the couch in Xander's basement, a bead of sweat dropped off the tip of her nose. Her heart was beating quickly. She didn't have a clue why. She remembered the dream with Faith, it felt so real, but it wasn't a nightmare, so why was she all worked up. She shook the mystery out of her head and concentrated on the dream and what it meant. "You don't have to spend your life trying to take this out" she said out loud. "What does she mean by that?"
"Who?" Xander said as he walked into the room.
"What?... Ohh.. Nothing" Buffy panicked. She knew she needed to tell someone, but she knew that someone wasn't Xander, he had too many personal issues with Faith.
"Sure?" he asked. Buffy just nodded.
"I'm worried about Buffy" Xander voiced his opinion at a Buffy-less scooby meeting.
"Me too" Willow agreed.
"May I enquire why?" Giles looked at them concerned off his slayer's well being.
"She's been acting kinda weird, she's away a lot" Willow said.
"And she was talking to herself last night" Xander told them what he heard her say the night before.
"That's peculiar" Giles took of his glasses as he spoke and rubbed them with his hankie. "I must say, I have noticed her disappearances too, perhaps she is just overdoing it with the hunt for Adam."
"I don't know, Giles, she seemed like she wanted to tell me something when we spoke yesterday" Willow informed them.
"I'll have a word with her."
"Ahh, Buffy may I speak with you please" Giles said later that day, when Buffy returned to Xander's basement.
"Sure, what is it? News on Riley?" she said, sounding hopeful but not feeling hopeful.
"No, it's just, I wondered where you've been" Giles tried to sound casual, but he didn't pull it off.
"It's okay Giles, I'm not hiding a big bad. And I was going to tell you first, but..." she trailed off. She still didn't have the courage.
"Yes?" Giles asked.
"I've been going to the hospital" Buffy said.
"Oh gosh what is it? Nothing serious I hope? Does your mother know?" Giles gushed out.
"It's not me. I've been visiting Faith."
There was silence for several long seconds, "Here comes the speech" Buffy sighed as she sat on the couch. "You shouldn't get attached Buffy. She's dangerous Buffy." She mocked an English accent and Giles' parental tone.
"No, well of course, yes she is dangerous, but there is nothing wrong with visiting her."
"But you're still disapointed in me" Buffy began to find her feet very interesting.
"No I'm not. It's just you could have informed us of your whereabouts. How long have you.."
"Been visiting? Since I got her letter" the slayer interrupted.
"Her letter?" Giles asked confused.
"I'll show you" Buffy sighed. The slayer and watcher made their way to the Summers' household, where Buffy showed him the letter.
"Oh Gosh. Buffy. I really don't think... Do you...." he began after finishing reading the letter.
"Love her? I don't know. Giles. It's why I've been visiting. I know I care about her... but... but" Giles gathered the Slayer in his arms, as a tear escaped her now closed eyelids.
"8 months is an awfully long time and I've spoken to the doctors, they think it's doubtful she'll ever wake up, but they're under the orders of the mayor, not to give up on her til she turns 21, which is at least 2 years" Giles informed the Scooby Gang, including Buffy.
"I can't stop visiting her Giles... she's.. she's like a sister to me."
"Come on Buff, you gotta understand this" Xander encouraged.
"We're not saying you have to stop visiting her all together, just a bit less frequently, it's unhealthy for you to become attached like that" Giles tried. But Buffy still looked resolved.
"The guys know about these visits, they want me to visit less" Buffy sighed. She was sitting in an uncomfortable chair facing the same wall Faith's body was and had Faith's hand held in her own. She was rubbing the back of Faith's hand absent-mindedly. "When are you going to wake up Faith?" She asked. "I need you. Your my.... your my other half. My opposite. Please" she pleaded. "What's keeping you in that black hole eh?" Buffy felt a trail of tears fall down her cheeks. "Please Faith. Wake Up for me. I love you... please." Buffy stopped. She realised what she had just said.
She remained quiet. Not a sound emanated from the dull room. "I... I mean it Faith. I love you" Buffy's tears fell onto Faith's hand and the bed sheets. "PLEASE FAITH WAKE UP" she raised her voice.
The door across the room, opened slowly, "Maam, can I ask you to keep your voice down please" a male doctor said. "No you goddamn can't! I love her y'know!" Buffy's voice remained at a high volume. "Can you help her?! Wake Her up!"
"I'll have to call security if you don't be quiet" the doctor said.
"She won't wake up for me" Buffy sobbed as she fell into a heap on the floor. "For me...."
The doctor approached her with caution, frightened she would lash out. But she didn't she remained there, weeping on the floor. He gathered her into his arms and helped her out of the room and down the corridor.
Faith opened her eyes slowly, bright lights attacked her, making her screw her eyes shut again. Even slower she opened her eyes again. Then blinked. "Buffy...." she choked.
She could smell her all over the room, she could feel dampness on the sheets and her hand, tears, she looked around. Where is she? she thought.
...continued in Side by Side...