Tired of Playing Games
by Kayleigh
Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Joss and co. own all. I own nothing.
Dedication: Nikita and Jess.
Feedback: Yes Please. And if you do, I promise more goodies in the shape of B/F fic.

The ascension was over and the mayor was dead, Faith was in a coma and Angel had left town, Buffy settled down on her bed, sighing. She spotted the yearbook that she had retrieved before the fire, might as well take a look at it now, she thought. As she opened the book of high school memoirs an envelope slipped out and fell on the floor. She picked it up and read the word "Buffy" neatly written, she didn't recognise the handwriting, so intrigued, she opened the letter. As she unfolded the piece of paper that was enclosed, she read the words "Hey B" at the top. As Buffy realised Faith had smuggled the letter into her yearbook somehow, her first impulse was to tear the letter up and burn it, but instead she acted on her second impulse, which was to read on.

"You've probably already screwed this up or even burnt it by now, but I'm going to write it anyway, because I need to get it off my chest.

I'm sorry. I know it doesn't matter now, 'cause it's done and we can't change the past.

The answer you probably want is 'Why?', Why did I go to the mayor? The main reason was because he gave me what you couldn't. Love. That's right, you read it just fine. I love You. Laugh at it as much as you want, go tell your friends and get them to laugh at me. It's true, Faith the screw-up loves holier-than-thou Buffy. Not to mention you're as straight as they come. I couldn't help it, the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were 'the one'. All those innuendos, they were my twisted way of trying to get some indication from you that you felt the same way. This isn't a 'get some, get gone' thing like Xander. I'm sorry about that too, it shouldn't have gone that far. I thought we were getting somewhere until Angel turned up. That was such a big mess. Then there was 'the accident', I didn't mean to, everything just went so fast and I just sunk into a black hole.

Anyway, enough of the glum right? I've never signed a yearbook 'cause I dropped out of school, but I'm guessing there supposed to be about the happy memories.

Well I've only had two happy times, throughout my life, the first was with my watcher, and the second was with you. The highest moment was the Homecoming dance, Thanks for letting me come with you, even if you did miss most of the night. I looked at that as our first date, but I'm pretty sure you didn't look at it in the same way, or did you? And of course the side by side slaying was wicked too. And technically the only time we ever had alone. It doesn't matter now, I'm either dead, or you're on your way to do it now (don't let this letter effect killing me, it needs to be done, and I know it, besides, Soul-Boy needs my blood). Be careful, remember, 'You kill me, You become me' and as much as I seemed to want that, I don't. You're too good for that, too good for me.

I have to go now, the mayor wants to take me out for a meal before the ascension.

Be careful with the slaying, I don't want to be seeing you in the land of the dead anytime soon. I hope you find someone other than Soul-Boy. He can't give you what you want and you know it.

Have fun in college, drink loads and party hard. Remember me, I'll remember you forever.

Love Always
Faith"

Buffy's tears were falling freely onto the letter. She never knew. All this time she thought Faith's innuendos were just a part of her attitude, not a declaration of love.

Over the next week Buffy contemplated her feelings and visited Faith as often as possible. What she felt for Faith she wasn't certain, but she did know that she was tired of playing games.

...continued in Losing Hope...