City Of Lost Souls
by KC Hights
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Characters are from Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
I do not own them, they belong to Joss, WB, and basically everyone
else but me.
Author's Notes: This is another short story. Anyway, thanks Phil, for beta-ing.
Feedback: Yes please.
Los Angeles is a city of lost souls. And I'm one of them.
I sat on the bunk quietly with my eyes shut, listening to the mumbles outside the bars. I lost track of how long I've been sitting here. But that didn't matter, nothing matter anymore. They say that L.A. is a strange place, full of disgusting scum that crawled and lived in the shadows of the dark allies, waiting for a second chance. But little did they know that it would never come. I guess this explains why L.A. feels just like home.
The door slid open and I heard footsteps, echoing louder. Two guards stood outside my cell and ordered me to my feet.
"You have a visitor," one of them exclaimed as the other cuffed my wrists. They led me down the dim and narrow hallway.
I thought it would be Angel, come to me what songs he sang this time when I set foot in the visitor's room, but surprisingly, I was wrong.
Buffy Summers was the woman who stood across the room, the same woman I've learned to love and hate all at once.
She motioned for me to pick up the receiver as soon as I sat down.
"Hey," she said. Her voice sounded weary. I wasn't certain, since I'd avoiding her eyes.
"It's been a long time, B." I said. There was a slight suggestion of pain in my voice that I failed to mask. I looked up to see if she noticed, and was instantly captivated by her greenish blue eyes. The same pair of eyes that I stumblingly fell for the first time I saw her.
"Yeah, I know," she replied and there was a long pause as she stared right at me.
"What are you doing here?" I finally asked.
"I came here to see how you're doing," Buffy said, never breaking her eye contact.
"I'm five by five." I tried to shrug it off. "You know how things are like in jail. Though I must say that I'm beginning to enjoy spending quality times to myself."
Who am I trying to fool? Solitude wasn't the thing on my top lists.
"No, seriously, why are you here?" I continued, "Is there something you want? `cuz the only thing I've got left for you to take is my life. But then I guess you already took that once."
She lowered her head and looked down on the table. Her brows locked tightly together as if she felt guilty or hurt by the remarks. Damn it. I fucking hate myself. I've wanted to talk to her for so long and nothing good ever comes out of my mouth.
"Look, I'm not here to fight." I watched her shake her head. "God…why is it always so hard with you? I walk in here all prompted up ready to make this big apology, and when I see you, my mind goes blank, and you just assume that I'm this-"
"I'm sorry, B." I cut her off. It felt good to be able to apologize now, if only I could have said it sooner.
"No, no. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you when you needed me the most. If only I had been there for you, you would have never turned to the Mayor." She began to babble, "I mean, you wouldn't even be here today if it wasn't for my selfish acts. I was so caught up feeling sorry for myself that I've failed to see what was important around me. And when you came at me on the campus, I-"
"Stop it, B…It's all my fault." I smashed my hand on the glass and caught her by surprise. I didn't want to hear her apologies when I was the one to blame. "All the wrongs I've done you, I'd wish I could take them all back. I was out to hurt everyone because I was…jealous."
Yeah, I was jealous. I was jealous of everything she had. Friends and families were things I never had. But that wasn't the sole reason that caused all anger inside me. It was the fact that she would sacrifice her life for Angel. Willow, Xander and Giles. She would risk her life for them in any second, but refuses to do the same for me. She would die for them, but not me. Not me.
"Jealous? What do you mean?" She whispered. I thought Buffy was clueless to my feelings for her, but the expression of her face told me that she knew all along.
"It's nothing…"
"Faith. Please. Don't shut yourself away from me again. I don't want us to be like this." She pleaded. It was almost impossible to turn down those eyes.
"Time's up. Hurry up, let's get going." One of the guards came and took me by the arm.
"I um-" I turned to see the guard beside me as I struggled to stay. I wanted to stay. I wanted to tell her.
"I love you, B…" The guard tugged at me harder, placing an arm across my stomach and yanked me a step back. I looked at her in despair, and she seemed to feel it too. I watched as the tears came flowing from her eyes. The guard already ripped the receiver away and I couldn't hear what she was trying to say.
But I saw it. Her lips motioned those words that I've long to hear, her voice crossed the barriers that kept us apart. She said,
"…I love you too."
I sat there, eyes closed, listening to the echoes of the distant shuts outside. I was still unable to keep track of time as always. But that didn't matter. I'll be out of here before I know it. And she'll be waiting for me at home.
Los Angeles is a city of lost souls. And I was one of them.