Where The Heart Is
by Kelly Smith
Rating: NC-17
Down on the beach, at the waters edge, Buffy and Faith were still training. Both of them were going at it hard, not afraid to let go, never afraid to let go. Their bodies were becoming exhausted but their souls felt replenished, rejuvenated, and it urged them to continue. To keep pushing. Their moves were fast, frantic… and both of them would be lying if they had said it didn’t make them hot. They were almost burning for each other. Intense.
Far back in the distance were the high standing buildings of downtown LA. The sun was rising over them now, just peeking its first rays over the smallest of them and between the gaps of all of them. Warming rays. Rays that travelled the distance to the beach, and illuminated the sweat engulfed bodies of both girls, making them shine with the sunrise.
They collapsed together, in synch. Just their toes creeping forward to cool in the ocean. The sea still cold from the night just passed.
Faith looked over at Buffy. Just an outstretched arm away. Just a touch away. It seemed funny to her that she had spent all night touching Buffy, and now the thought terrified her. She opened her mouth, stole the silence.
“So, B..? Are we done?”
“Done? Have you had enough, Faith?”
“Of you, Buffy?… Never.”
She offered her trademark grin and flipped to standing. Outstretched an arm to help Buffy to her feet. Safe touching.
Buffy was glad to keep going. Ecstatic. Nothing had felt this good in ages. Nothing had come this close to feeling this good in ages. And by that, she meant NOTHING! It was thrilling and exciting and electric and passionate… and really..? Kinda hot, as well. She vowed to push it now, to unleash the last of her everything. She was taking Faith down, and when she had her down..? Well that’s when she got a little bit lost.
They fought fierce and they fought true. Both of them pushing the last ounces of strength from their bodies, trying with all they had to be the one that took the other down. In the end it was Faith who succeeded. The old kick and sweep, worked on Buffy ALL the time. Well some of the time. Faith didn’t care, it had worked this time.
And now Buffy was underneath her. Firmly underneath her. And she could feel her, feel where skin touched skin, sweat mixed with sweat. Her thigh was pressed hard between Buffy’s thighs, and maybe that was why Buffy was panting, breath ragged, or maybe it was the way that their breasts pressed so tightly together, making friction, using friction… or maybe it was really the way that their eyes were meeting. All the time that their bodies sought to writhe against the other, their eyes stayed firm. Locked together. Asking questions and answering questions. Finally, understanding. Finally as one.
It was with a whisper that Faith eventually spoke. Hoarse. Scratchy.
“So tell me, B… have YOU had enough?”
For a moment Buffy felt thrown by the question. Yes. No. Help? Everything was so close, so real. This was Faith, on top of her, pushing against her, asking her if she’d had enough. So close. So real. And so everything that she wanted.
But so quick. She could feel the heat racing through her body, tearing through her. It both excited and scared. But mostly..? Excited.
She locked again into Faith’s gaze, saw the answers. Put her lips to her ear, drew a deep breath in.
“More, Faith. Show me more.”
Faith didn’t need any further invitation. She lowered her head slowly, still not sure that Buffy wouldn’t come to her senses any second and beat her shitless for groping her. It would ruin the mood if she did. So slowly she went. And then she was there. Their lips were dancing softly together, their mouths barely open, just nipping at each other. Faith ran her tongue along Buffy’s lower lip, looking for entrance, asking for permission, and then they were kissing.
And it wasn’t soft and gentle anymore. It was real and hard and urgent. It was every single pent up emotion, every single longing gaze, every single furtive touch… all of it. Now. Theirs finally to have. To know.
They were getting lost in the moment, both of them, hands seeking to find purchase on skin. To uncover it and to claim it. Their mouths had left the other, Buffy’s to taste the sweat that glistened along the collar bone of her partner, and Faith to throw her head back and wish a silent hello to the morning. To the heavens. It was beautiful.
And then the dog was howling.
Morning had woken him too, and he was distraught to find his master still missing. He was worried and alone. And also kinda scared. He was only a puppy after all. So he barked. And when that didn’t work he howled. Like a wolf to the moon.
On the beach, down by the water, Buffy and Faith broke apart. It was so quick it was comical, as were the shy and embarrassed glances that they then exchanged.
“I had better, uh…”
“You should go let the hound out.”
“Right.”
“Uh-huh.”
As they found a silent stare their embarrassment fell away. Everything fell away. They were lost again in the other, nothing else existing. Buffy reached out and drew Faith softly to her. Gave her the sweetest of kisses. Their lips yielding to the other, in a show of control. Controlled by meaning.
And then the dog started up again. Faith couldn’t help but glare, she knew the puppy didn’t mean it… but… ARGH! That just now, kissing Buffy by the waters edge with the sun coming up behind them..? Well that was probably fantasy number somewhere in the top ten in her mind. And it was ruined! By the damn dog barking. It was a good job that she loved the little guy.
They slowly rose from their position on the ground, shaking sand from their clothes and bodies.
“I suppose I should go in… get some rest?”
Buffy didn’t want to. She wanted to stay here. With Faith. Kissing Faith. Definitely kissing Faith. But she couldn’t because… well, she didn’t know why, but she figured that going in and resting was the right thing to do. And she was kinda bowled over. By the kissing Faith. Maybe she would ring Willow. And rest.
“Yeah, B. Long night. I spose I should go rest too.”
As they started to separate, travel the distance to their homes, they still kept their eyes locked together, held prisoner by longing.
“I WILL see you later, right?”
She knew she would, but she had to ask. Had to have Faith’s reassurance.
“You can bet on it!”
And with that she was at her door. Her last glimpse of Faith, her retreating smile. A huge smile, which also made her smile pretty huge. There was assurance in smiles. And she loved Faith’s. Absolutely loved it.
That afternoon, way past one, Buffy was still sound asleep in her bed. Her sleep was peaceful and refreshing and full to the brim of dreams about her slaying partner. About Faith. She dreamt she was touching her, holding her, kissing her… she dreamt a whole lot. She probably would’ve spent the day dreaming if it hadn’t been for the incessant ringing of the phone. Over and over. And it was SO nice of Angel to have an extension placed right by the bed. Right at her ear level. So very nice. She would have to remember to thank him.
The panicked sound of Wes’ voice brought her rushing back to her senses, he was speaking at her a mile a minute, something was missing?
“Whoa, back up there mister, someone’s had way too much caffeine this morning… now what’s missing, and why do I need to get out of bed to look for it?”
“Sorry, Buffy… it’s just, well, we’re terribly afraid!”
She had to have a private chuckle at Wes’ Englishness. So apparent when he was worried.
“Calm down, Wes. The sun is shining, it’s a beautiful day… you’ve got two crack ass slayers on your team… what’s to be afraid of, a couple of smelly old slime demons..? Come on Wes, where’s the backbone..? Out for lunch..?”
“If only it were that simple, Buffy. It’s not the slime demons… if my deductions are correct, which they usually are, then it’s Angelus!”
Buffy had to fight not to drop the phone. Angelus? How? She had been with Angel just a few hours ago, seen him, hugged him. It wasn’t possible. She still had to thank him… for the phone in the bedroom. It couldn’t be true.
“I don’t understand, Wes. Tell me how..? When for gods sake?”
“Well it seems from surveillance footage that he left sometime around one this morning. Took a bite from a receptionist on the way out, she was covering a late shift to make money for her daughters birthday, frightfully sad…”
“Touching. Does Faith know? Have you rallied the troops? Are we looking for him?”
“No, Buffy. I thought it prudent to ring you first… Angel spoke to me on his return about the prophecy the demons spoke of, about losing his soul to the woman he loves… to you.”
“So what? You just thought he might be over here getting his old rocks off? Climbing back on the horse? That I would DO that with him?”
“NO! I didn’t… well, I mean, I didn’t assume that you would be willing, I was worried… I wanted to be sure that you were ok.”
“Right. Sorry Wes. I just can’t believe… not Angelus. Not again. Not NOW.”
After the call with Buffy, Wes had immediately rung Faith. Delivered the same news to her. She took it just as bad, Angel meant the world to her, and to have him taken over by that bastard Angelus? It drove her mad. She just wished she could kill one without the other, but she couldn’t, so she killed neither.
Her first thoughts were for Buffy. To tell her about Angel. So she dressed and she tore over there, banging at the door, exciting Scoobs with the loud noise.
“BUFFY!”
“Faith..? Why the yelling?”
“It’s Angel… he’s uh… he’s…”
“Angelus?”
“Yeah… I, how did YOU know?”
Faith wondered if maybe they didn’t have some odd connection, where Buffy could tell if he was evil or not, maybe get the heads up on everyone else.
“Oh, Wes rang me a while ago, filled me in.”
“Wes rang you? Before he rang me?”
“Yep, said he thought that Angel might have been here…”
Buffy trailed off as she realised the implication of her words. That Angel may have been here, and she may have been sleeping with him. As she caught Faith’s eyes, she could see the pain registering there. All the old hurts.
“Faith… NO. Don’t even go there. It’s a stupid messed up prophesy, it’s bullshit, nothing… hell when I was in Rome, you could buy prophesies in the street market, dime a dozen, that’s probably what this is. Those demons took a vacation in Rome, picked themselves up an old prophesy, and then figured they’d come here and cause us some merry hell!”
“So why’s Angel been turned to Angelus? Coincidence?”
“I don’t know… but we shouldn’t jump to conclusions. Wait till we find him, then we can know.”
Faith took comfort in her words. And the demons vacationing in Rome? They had to go somewhere she guessed… so maybe. Buffy had chosen her over Angel this time, she didn’t have to dwell on old injuries… didn’t have to be preoccupied with a prophesy that probably meant nothing. Or less then.
Slowly they made their way out to the porch, perched up on the railings, watched the puppy dashing in and out of the waves, yelping and barking, having a riot. It was a happy scene and one that they wished they didn’t have to leave, but they did, because it would be up to them to find Angel or Angelus. Up to them to bring him home.
“So what’s the plan, Faith?”
Faith couldn’t help but look a little confused, Buffy asking HER for a plan?
“I dunno, B… I kinda guessed you would be ‘take charge gal’. Wes did ring YOU first.”
Buffy could hear the slight hurt in the comment. She also knew that Wes wouldn’t have rung her first if it wasn’t for the prophesy garbage, and her and Angel’s past. She wasn’t ‘take charge gal’ not this time. This was Faith’s show to run.
“Faith, stop. I know Wes rang me, but that was besides the point, he was thinking about the prophesy, not ringing for guidance. I saw you. In the sewers, when we were getting our asses kicked… it was you who kept cool, you in charge. The others looked to you for leadership, not Angel, you. And that tells me something, Faith… about who’s ‘take charge gal’…”
She cast her memory back to her house. In Sunnydale. Another fight with Faith. More raised voices, more hurting words.
“… do you remember, Faith? You asked me once, if I could follow. If I could follow you?… Well the answers yes. I can. I will. I do.”
“You do, Buffy?… Hell, throw in a couple of honours and obeys, and we’ll have ourselves a wedding ceremony!”
She couldn’t help but joke at Buffy’s words. They were all too weighted, and she still wasn’t great at this stuff. Getting there, slowly, but still, not great. And now she was embarrassed by her own words. A wedding ceremony? What the fuck?
Buffy took the joke gracefully. Accepted it and moulded it to suit her own purpose. Approached Faith intently, her hands coming to rest on the railings either side of her prize, leaning forward, just a hairs breadth away…
“You want me to honour and obey you, Faith?”
The younger girl gulped. This wasn’t about weddings. This was about lust. Wait… she could do lust. She stared openly at Buffy, just a few inches apart, refocused her intentions. Her excitement was beginning to dance wildly throughout her body, could be heard ringing out in her pulse. Thumping.
“Would you do it, B..?”
She allowed her hands to ever so gently begin to run up Buffy’s side, barely touching, barely there.
“Would you obey me?”
As her hands reached Buffy’s face, she let her fingertips trace over her moving lips. She felt as well as heard Buffy’s answering “yes.”
Her mouth claimed the space that her fingers were just touching, refinding the perfection they had discovered this morning. Kissing Buffy.
And as of this morning the dog began to yelp. Again. Faith looked up. Pissed off, angry, annoyed. She was gonna have to start teaching that little fluff ball some manners, cos her and Buffy kissing was something she planned on doing a whole lot of. Scoobs would just have to get used to it. Learn to come in second for a change.
She made her eyes leave Buffy to check that the pooch was okay, it was still yelping, sounded angry as well… and then she saw the demon. Demons. Loads of them. Heading up out of the sea. Scoobs was doing his best to hold them off with his manic barking, but now they were closing in on him. Faith screamed as they reached him, saw as they threw him up into the air, saw his crumpled body being tossed by the waves. Saw as he went under.
“Noooooooooooooooooo!”
Somewhere in the pits beneath the docks of LA, Angel was chained to a wall. He didn’t know how long he had been there. Didn’t know how he had gotten there. Had some vague clue as to why. This was about Buffy. This was about taking him and making him Angelus again. About making him do things to Buffy that he wasn’t prepared to do. Would never be prepared to do.
As his head cleared he looked up around him. Pulled at his chains. But it was pointless. Even if the chains were not reinforced by magic, he was surrounded by demons as far as his eyes could see. Breaking free would bring him nothing but death. But that didn’t mean he had to be a friendly prisoner. He took aim at the demons nearest him, laid blows as best he could whilst chained to a wall.
“What’s the meaning of this..? I won’t sleep with her, I don’t care what you do. I WON’T SLEEP WITH HER!”
He shouted his words to give them greater meaning. The truth was he was terrified. Scared of what they were going to do to him, to make him do to others.
The demons began to hiss, their volume increasing with every second. In the end it was like the whole cavernous lair of the demons shook with it. Hummed with it. It clawed at his mind, and he tried to fight it, it reached in and he could feel it clasping his soul, and he couldn’t fight it. It was too strong. They were too many. And what they offered was too much like heaven.
“YOU may not ssssleeep with her… Angel…”
The leading demon shot forth a spray of slime as he spoke that name. Spat it out with disgust.
“…but we all know… that Angelusssss will.”
The chanting reached fever pitch. The figure chained to the wall collapsed, stayed down but for a second, and then he was standing. Tall and proud. Pissed at being chained to the wall.
“Guys… slime… things? This little friendship of ours is gonna be over pretty darn quickly if you keep chaining me to the wall…”
“Ssssilenccce! You wait to speak, Angelussss. Our chanting bindsss your soul, but it doesss not remove it. Only ssssleeeping with HER will remove it. Chaining you isssss necesssssary… you undersssstand?”
He didn’t understand. He would play along for now, but only because they promised him the blood of the slayer. Maybe the blood of both slayers. He thought about that. Draining both Faith and Buffy, one after the other..? Take turns? He wasn’t sure how he would do it, but he couldn’t wait to find out.
“I understand. All you demons are scared of one big bad vampire.”
“You would do well to hold your tongue… or losssse it.”
Angelus relaxed his posture. Now wasn’t the time.
“When will you have the slayer? This is thirsty work all this soul purification thing. I could use a snack.”
“Ssshe will be here ssssoon, we need to know where she goessss, where she ssssssleeeps… tell ussss Angelusssss, where doessss she ssssleeeep?”
He knew that one. Had given her the house himself. Kind of. He smiled as he replied. Told them her address, her location… the ease of entry from the sea. He turned traitor. He loved it.
As the demons readied to leave, the hissing dying away, thoughts on other things, Angelus spoke again.
“Hey guys… good luck, and keep her fresh… not too much slime…”
He smirked at their glances. Once he had tasted Buffy, once he had her power and no soul, then he would silence these dumb fuck demons. Raise their King? Their King could suck his dick.
After Buffy of course.
The beach was full of demons. At first they had thought that they could fight, didn’t realise fully the extent of the amount of foes they would face. Were charged on Faith’s anger at the attack on Scoobs, her need to find him, to strike out revenge.
Buffy was realising though, if they stayed here? They would die. No two ways about it, no mystery plan to save the day, nothing. Stay. Die. That was it. She was screaming at Faith, trying to get her attention above the hissing of the slime freaks.
“Faith… come on, we need to get out of here… NOW!”
“I hear ya, B… but fuck damn these assholes are hard to leave.”
She popped the head of the one nearest her, it was hard to tell, she was surrounded by so many. She was trying so hard to locate Scoobs, she knew it was futile, knew it was hopeless… but she couldn’t bear to lose him. Not him AND Angel.
“Faith..?”
She resigned herself. Would return later to find her little buddy.
“I got ya.”
They fled together, always helping the other to clear a path, to make a way through. It was scary just how many of the demons that there now were, so many more than only last night. They both worried that it was linked to the possible re-emergence of Angelus. That it was likely. That the prophesy spoke the truth.
At the LA headquarters of W&H the gang were assembling. Everyone was there, all of them desperate to begin the search for Angelus. Some because they had heard of how vicious, how dangerous Angelus could be. His friends, because they KNEW how vicious and dangerous, and a whole lot more than that he could be. It was frightening.
All of the slayers in the areas close by had been called in. All of them would be getting extra bonuses this month, they’d probably all earn it as well. Faith was psyched, running on adrenalin, totally buzzing. Deep down she had a great deal of anger beginning to rise up. The slime demons had stolen Angel, had killed Scoobs, and now they were threatening to take Buffy. She wouldn’t let it happen. Would kill anyone that did let it happen.
“Everyone listen up!”
She commanded the room, and it obeyed her command. She WAS the girl in charge.
“I want everyone here now to listen to me, from this moment we assume that the demons have Angel… it’s a given. No second guessing, we don’t have time, and I can’t be assed with the being wrong. The demons HAVE Angel. End of. We also assume it’s an attempt to rob him of his soul, maybe they’ve already done it, but until I see it, I’m not believing it… and that means that this is all about the re-con.”
Faith threw glares at all of the slayers. No one would kill Angel on her watch. No one.
“I want reinforcements called in. And I want them here now. Get Giles… Buffy, if you wouldn’t mind?”
“No probs, Faith, consider it done.” She flashed Faith a smile. The sitch was shit, but her girl was still hot. And taking charge..? She couldn’t wait to obey.
“Get Willow too whilst you’re at it, she said to call her if the old soul goes walkies… I guess this would be a good time. Tell her as fast as she can, I want Angel back as soon as. And I wanna squash those demons.”
The next words would be hard to say, but in Faith’s opinion they had to be said, and she was in charge, so her word went.
“Last things… I want Buffy out of this.”
“Faith!”
“No, B. You said you could follow, so fall in line. They want you, I am not taking you out there and using you as bait. That’s bullshit. You’ll stay here, man the phones, call in ALL of our slayer reserves. The ones near the airports I want on planes.”
People started moving. They had heard Faith’s orders, and now they were breaking into their divisions and organising. The demons may number hundreds, but they could call on that many troops as well. They would do what it took to find Angel. To bring him home.
As the room cleared there was only Buffy and Faith remaining.
“I don’t appreciate being left at home on the couch, Faith.”
“And I don’t appreciate losing the people I care about.”
“I know… it’s ok. I’ll stay.”
They shared a smile.
“Are you sure that we need ALL the slayers? Maybe you’re just looking for a good old get together? Chance for a knees up?”
Faith wished that, that was the case. Just getting everyone together for a party. A slayer reunion. All the girls passed through LA eventually. For training, for knowledge. To travel down to Sunnydale and witness the pit that used to be a hell mouth. A party would be good. But that wasn’t the case.
“I don’t know, B… I just get this feeling, real deep down, that this… whatever this is. I think it’s big… I think it could be huge…”
She looked into Buffy’s eyes, relayed her fears.
“…I just think that maybe it’s time. Time to reassemble the army.”
Deep below Los Angeles, close to the bowels of hell, the demons were regrouping. Their losses hadn’t been many, but still they were angered. They would call forth more demons, many more, a force so huge that the slayers would be sure to crumble before them. To give them what they needed.
“So where is she, guys? My tasty dinner, my meals on wheels, door to door service?”
The head demon approached the chained Angelus. It shamed him to speak of their failure, it bought down bad favour upon them, the King would not be happy.
“Ssshe evaded ussss thissss time… got away…”
Angelus rose up in fury at the news, pulled hard against the chains that bound him.
“You let her get away? Tell me you’re joking? I’m stuck here, chained to a damp wall, smelling like shit, and all you can do is let her get away? I’m out, that’s it. No more mildew for me.”
The demons balked at this. Without Angelus, their master could not rise, would not rise. That would be a disaster.
“What do you ssssuggessst then wisssse one. You know the sssslayerss, what would you do?”
“I’ll tell you what I’d do… I’d send me to get her. She never could resist my charm… I think it’s the Irish in me, no surer way to find a path into a girl's skirts…”
The slime monsters conversed telepathically, it did seem that sending Angelus out was the best option. They could stay here, focus the chanting, make sure nothing went wrong. But if he failed… if he got staked by the slayers? Their lives would be over.
The head honcho waved his hands over the chains and let them fall to the floor.
Angelus was free.
“Do not fail usssss.”
“No worries there, slime guy, I’m scoring myself a girl!”
It was with a confident step that he left the sewers. Broke the surface, sniffed the air.
“Buffyyyyy..? Buffyyyyyyy? Come out, come out, wherever you are..?”
Dedication: I feel it’s MOST appropriate to dedicate this chapter firmly to EM with these very wise words from my very wise self… whilst some things in life are definitely worth waiting for, to wait beyond the necessary is both completely CRAZY and most certainly WRONG. Crazy wrong. And painful as well. I hope she heeds these words. I truly do.
The upstairs floors of W&H were almost empty. People had cleared out, had collected their missions, and gone to fulfil them. Only those at the top knew what was going on, it had been Wes’ call, he believed that the demon population as a whole knowing that Angel was missing and a possible return to Angelus was on the cards would be a rather undesirable situation, only those that needed to know knew. Most of the others agreed with him; with the gift of hindsight perhaps they wouldn’t have.
The slayers were up in Angel’s private quarters, they reasoned that they couldn’t go back to the beach, and Angelus would never show up here, it would be stupid of him, and he was anything but stupid. They had tried to relax, tried to shake off the numerous injuries from the fight, but it was hard. At the end of the day, this building was home to many a demon, and their slayer senses just couldn’t stop tingling, electricity shooting.
“I have to get out of here, I’m going with the next team, I’ve gotta find him B.”
“I wish I was coming, this place is MAJOR with the wiggins.”
“I wish you could come, but you can’t… it’s not safe.”
“I don’t know if I like this ‘obeying’ any more.”
“You love it!”
They released some nervous laughter, it did nothing to break the underlying tension in the room.
“What will you do, Faith..? If he’s Angelus, if it’s too late, if he’s turned.”
It was the question that Faith had been dreading.
“Then I’ll bring him home and turn him back. Won’t be the first time, I’ve done it before…” She showed Buffy her eyes, the truth in them.
“…I won’t kill him, B. You can’t tell me I have to… no one can tell me I have to. I wouldn’t kill him before, and I won’t kill him now!”
It was an answer that made Buffy sigh.
“Maybe I ‘should’ come then. Because being leader, Faith..? That means making the hard choices sometimes… you don’t wanna kill Angel..? I’m with you on that one, but if things go wrong… if the situation calls for it? Then you might have to kill Angelus.”
She didn’t like to say it, it pained her to say it, but it had to be said.
“I know that, Buffy. I’m ignoring it, but I know it, ok?”
“Okay.”
The silence that followed, pulled them together. A nervous kiss, both of them looking to lose the worry, the weight of the burdens which fell on their shoulders. It quickly turned to more, the flames which they had been stoking for the last two days were heating up desire, driving on their need to possess each other. To truly know each other.
It was desperate hands that tore at clothes, ripping at buttons on jeans, uncovering skin, tops being raised, first one, then the other, bras unhooked, panties shed. Lust was uncoiling around them, reaching out, tracing patterns on their glowing skin, bringing their bodies together. Making them whole.
Faith brought her fingers to Buffy’s waiting flesh, to her straining nipples, lightly skimming over them, looking to see if she could make them stand higher, want more. Her palms next, one moment soft, then hard… making Buffy gasp, taking her breath, it was all so perfect, all so right. And then a word.
“Faith…”
Just one word. Not more than a whisper, yet it spoke so much. It carried love, and hope and trust. And it carried Faith on. Made her focus her eyes on Buffy’s eyes. See what was written there.
And then she was falling. Deeper than ever. Lost in a feeling. And on to a bed. Angel’s bed.
They broke apart again. It seemed like they were always breaking apart. Faith looked at where they had landed. It seemed wrong. It WAS wrong! And that was why she had pulled back. She didn’t want to. Looking at Buffy again, she REALLY didn’t want to.
“I guess doing it on the big guy’s bed when I should be out looking for him, is wrong on many levels?”
“More than many, and… doing it? We were ‘doing it’?”
She smiled at Faith, lent up into a kiss, sat back for her answer.
“Uh..?”
What should she say? That they were making love? Merging souls? Climbing the dizzying heights of the stairway to heaven?
“…not ‘doing it’ B…more like uh… merging souls?”
She couldn’t help it, Buffy cracked up. ‘Merging souls?’ What the hell? Had Faith read Shakespeare lately or something? Did Marvel have a new romantic comic strip?
“Merging souls, Faith? That’s a little err… ‘cute’. I was just gonna say that, well… never having been with a girl before, I didn’t quite understand that getting to third base was ‘doing it’… I kinda hoped that there was more, ya know… Willow had led me to believe there was something called… ‘going down’, now that sounds nice… surely we should have done THAT if we were ‘doing it’?”
“You’re an idiot, B.”
“Ooooo, you ‘did it’ with an idiot. Does that make you an idiot too?”
“Okay, okay, we weren’t ‘doing it’… we were ‘doing stuff’. Still probably wrong on many levels, MANY many levels.”
Buffy nodded an agreement. Angel's bed was not her prime make out spot, probably wasn’t anyone’s prime make out spot.
“Can’t wait to ‘do stuff’ with you again, Faith.”
“Feelings mutual, B.”
She lent across and ran her fingertips over Buffy’s naked flesh. Watched the goosebumps rise to her touch. This was everything she had ever wanted, and still she couldn’t have it. Not yet. There was stuff to get done, and after that there would be loads of time for Buffy. For her and Buffy. She wanted to forget it all, wanted to forget Angel, forget Angelus… and looking again at what lay before her on the bed, she nearly could. Nearly but not quite. She didn’t want to worry, but she HAD to worry. She would find Angel and she would protect Buffy. It was her job. Finally tearing her eyes away, she rose from the bed and redressed.
“I have to go now.”
“I know.”
“I’ll be back.”
“I know that too.”
She went to leave, had got to the door already, but something pulled at her. Made her go back to the room, back to Buffy.
“Hey B..? One more kiss?”
“For luck?”
Their eyes met.
“No… for me.”
A couple of hours later and everyone had gone hunting. The finer points of coverage had been worked out and everyone knew where they were going. Who with.
The foyer of W&H though, was still busy, the lawyers seeming to never go home, to always have some pressing detail to attend to. One more reason to stay late. To rack up bonuses.
“Excuse me..? Mr Angel, sir?”
Angel froze, he hadn’t thought that they would expect him to come here, had thought he was safe, he would kill if he had to, he wanted Buffy.
“What’s the problem, err…”
“Kevin, sir… I work in accounts, there’s an extreme upsurge in bonus claims this week… I wanted to clear it with you before I okayed it, was going to come to your office, but Harmony said you were unavailable..?”
“Right, yes… go with the expenses, hell, I feel generous, must be my heart swelling, double the bonuses!”
“Double, sir? But… the accounts?”
“Double!”
He spoke in a tone that asked for no answer, and Kevin went to leave. His manners were remembered at the last.
“Mr Angel, sir..? Have a good evening.”
Angelus flashed him a deep sensual smile as the elevator door slid to closed. As it steadily rose to the highest floor, he allowed the excitement to flood his senses. He could smell her, could nearly taste her. Would taste her.
Have a good evening? He was going to have a blast.
Buffy hadn’t redressed when Faith had. Hadn’t felt the need to. No one could come up to the private suite unless she knew about it. Except Faith of course, but hey, she was out fighting demons! Which pretty much meant it was her, all alone, wandering the apartment naked. It was kind of freeing. And just a little bit chilly.
She was bored was the problem. There was NOTHING to do. She had ‘manned the phones’ as Faith had told her to, had phoned Wills, spoke to Wills, phoned Giles, spoke to Giles, phoned Dawn… left a message. All the super slayers were in transit, or thinking about transitting, half the population of LA was out looking for Angel. Which left nothing. For a while she had tried to lose herself in Angel’s movie collection, but she swore half his stuff was from back before they even made movies. Definitely not much in the way of girly fun flicks.
She even amused her self by looking at Angel’s antique weapon collection, unfortunately a pretty close call with a sharp axe and a pair of naked breasts, put an end to that as well. At the end of the day, she just wanted to be out there. At Faith’s side, where she belonged. Fighting the good fight, being a slayer. But instead she was stuck here, kept prisoner by the four walls. She was going a little stir crazy, cabin fever, blood pounding. And it certainly didn’t help that half the employees at W&H were setting off her slayer tingles.
She decided to shower. A shower would be nice. Then she could be clean for Faith, and Faith would come home and she would stink of sewer, and then SHE could shower, and then they’d both be clean. And they could lay on the bed, Angel’s bed, nice and clean, and compliment each other on the cleanliness! It was kind of a plan. It was something to do. It was just a little better than nothing.
She turned the jets up hot, wanted to burn away some of her frustrations, ease some of the tiredness in her joints. She stepped under, and it was heaven. Just what she had needed. Tilting her head back, she let the water run over her hair, down her back, across her ass and down the drain. The only soap was man soap, man smelling, man cleaning, but it would do, for now.
Once done, she stood there, just letting the water caress her, losing her thoughts to thoughts of Faith. Thoughts of Faith caressing her. Earlier had been strange. On the one hand she felt as if she had known Faith forever, that this wasn’t too fast, or too quick… because… well, kinda because she felt in a deep down part of herself that it was always meant to be. But on the other hand, the smaller one, it was overwhelming her. Faith. She wasn’t quite sure that she shouldn’t be committed for even thinking about starting something with Faith. For loving Faith. But what could she do? From the second she had seen her again, screaming and shouting about the bumper on a car, she had wanted to be with her. From before that even. On the plane, knowing she was coming, knowing she would see her. If she was honest with herself… the thought of seeing Faith again had been the single most important reason for heading back to LA.
‘Yes, Dawn, I want to go to LA, just for a while… catch up with Angel, check on the slayers…’
‘And to find out if my body still hums in Faith’s presence, if my heart still races, if my temperature still rises.’
Of course she hadn’t added that line. But she had thought it. Had meant it.
And now, standing in the shower, letting her fingers glide over her own body, she still meant it. Yes; her body did hum, yes; her heart did race and yes; her temperature did still rise. Was rising now, heart racing now.
This hadn’t been what she had planned to do in the shower, to touch herself, bring release to herself, but that was what she was doing. Faith had brought her up to a fever pitch, it wouldn’t take much, it would take barely nothing… just a hand sliding down.
Buffy leant forward and braced herself against the wall with one arm. In her mind she could see Faith. Naked on the bed, but not Angel’s bed like earlier… no, this was her bed. Which meant she wouldn’t have to stop, could finally carry this on to a finish, see all the delights that Faith’s smile spoke about.
As she imagined running her hands over Faith’s body, so she ran her hands over her own, massaging her breasts, pinching her nipples, twisting them… harder than she would normally touch… but now wasn’t real, and she wanted to feel it, needed to feel it, needed to pretend. She let her hand wander down her stomach, running in little circles, teasing herself, making the fantasy more…
In her head now she was seeing Faith above her. Seeing how it would look if Faith was between her knees… how it would look if she was slowly and torturously kissing her thighs… running her tongue up and down… almost there… but no, not yet…
She slid her finger finally between the folds of her pussy, soaking in the water of the shower, just a slight pressure, nothing too much, nothing too fast… already she could feel the excitement building, it had always been like this when she thought of Faith, always so quick, so urgent… from the very first time, the guilty time years ago when she first realised that the thought of Faith turned her on. But now it wasn’t guilty. It was wanting.
In her mind she was still being tortured… Faith’s tongue just flirting with her, reaching down for a long slow lick, and then disappearing from her again, then her hip being nibbled, maybe her thigh, maybe her tummy… but not where she wanted…
She pushed her fingers up inside herself, tried so hard to imagine that they were Faith’s… felt her walls tighten at the welcome intrusion, moved them ever so slowly in and out, sometimes taking the juices and running them up to her clit, giving a tweak, a promise of what was to come…
And then her mind switched off. Imagination had taken over, and now it WAS Faith, touching her, it was Faith’s hand buried inside her pussy, fucking her mercilessly against the wall of the shower… telling her how much she wanted it, how much she was going to fuck her, how hard she was going to fuck her… and Buffy rode her hand, pushed herself down, took as much in as her body could stand. In and out, twisting, turning, fucking.
She ploughed on through the first shudders that gripped her body, pushing harder, faster… all through her she could feel Faith… it was immense, so real, could feel her tongue sliding across her slit, driving into her, wrapping around her…
She screamed Faith’s name when she finally let it all go. She couldn’t help it. So much tension had been released. And she did feel better for it… kinda horny, wanting more… but better. And she was bound to have killed some time, and that meant that maybe Faith would be back soon, and she didn’t care if they had to go book a room in flashy hotel… she was having Faith, and she was having Faith soon.
Yeah, these were tough times, and yes, finding Angel was important… but she was learning, so was love. Perhaps it was the most important.
As she stepped from the shower and wrapped a fluffy towel around her midriff she could hear the elevator approaching the top floor. It had to be Faith or she would’ve taken a call from reception. She heard the doors ping open, the footsteps across the plush carpet…
“Hey, Faith… welcome home!”
She had planned to enter the room and give a flash. Do something carefree. Make Faith smile. But now her hands froze, her body froze, her heart froze. It wasn’t Faith. It was him.
Angelus.
“Long time, Buffy… and I’ll think you’ll find this is MY home.”
She didn’t have a chance for a witty retort, he hit her. Hard. She felt herself going down, and then she felt something else. A prick, just a small one, and he had her. Had injected her with something, had knocked her out. Didn’t matter. What mattered was Buffy’s last thought. ‘He’s got me.’ It was the truth.
Angelus let out a little chuckle to the room. He was laughing at the ease, and the stupidity. Did they think he would’ve been too scared to come here? That they didn’t need to guard here? THIS was his home. HIS building. And he would come and go as he pleased.
And now he felt like going.
He looked down at Buffy, felt the stirring in his groin. It would be so easy, so easy to just take her now. Screw the prophesy, screw some demon King. Just take her, have her, possess her. But he wouldn’t. Not yet.
He could smell her though. Could smell her pussy as it gave off such heat. A part of him wished the heat was for him, the other part couldn’t give a fuck. He would have it anyway. He lent slowly towards her and ran his fingers over her body, pulled the towel away to look at what was his, ran his tongue the length of her neck, pausing at her pulse point, teasing himself. Imagining her begging him for it, to drain her, to eat her.
He beat down his desire and wrapped her body in a blanket. He would of hoped for something a little more undercover, inconspicuous, but it would do. He only had to get to the sewer entrance out front. There were demons there, waiting for him.
As he went to call the elevator his thoughts passed quickly to Faith. Poor little Faithy. She would get home and no Buffy would be there… what would she do, such torment, such grief. He decided to make it easier for her. Let her know exactly where Buffy was. That he himself was looking after her. Yes. That was just what Faith needed.
He felt the thrill of excitement as he penned a quick note, left a quick offering. He didn’t get out much. Didn’t get the chance… but when he did? Hell, he liked to have fun!
Deep below the streets of LA, Faith was paired with Kennedy in her seek and find mission. Most of the teams numbered more than two, but Faith didn’t need anyone else, Kennedy was a kick ass slayer, almost as good as her, and with the two of them on the case, she was sure they would find Angel sooner rather than later. So far though..? Not even a sniff.
Faith reached up and adjusted the headset walkie talkie which all the slayers used nowadays, on many occasions they had proved useful, but to her they were just an inconvenience, something to get in the way when fighting, although this time she had relented. The urgency which she felt in finding Angel, overtaking any worry about having her head squeezed by some techno crap. No-one had anything. Not even the slimey guys themselves were out and about. Nothing. It dampened her spirits a little… she hated the waiting, but no news was good news, and pretty soon she would call it a night and head back to Buffy. She was half thinking about leaving Angel’s and getting a room in some flash hotel. But then maybe Buffy wouldn’t want that, wouldn’t want her pawing at her whilst they had a possible major disaster to avert. She didn’t know… but she thought she would suggest it. Hoped Buffy would like the suggestion.
“Yo, Faith… what’s got you so quiet, huh? Normally patrolling with you is like a full on fun fest… you lost the fun?”
“Sorry, Ken… I don’t know… maybe it’s the fact that my friend is missing, possibly having his very soul ripped from him? That kinda quietens a girl down, ya know?”
“Shit, I’m sorry. Wasn’t thinking. Just go back to ignoring me.”
Faith let out a small laugh. Yeah, Angel was missing, but she was Faith. She never lost the fun. Not really.
“I’m kidding. I was just thinking… no ignorance meant.”
Kennedy caught up to Faith, fell into step beside her, was pleased to note that they were heading towards the exit. Too much sewer time was hell on her complexion. Willow was due back in town tomorrow, and she kinda wanted to look good. To look hot.
“So what time are the guests arriving tomorrow?”
“Not sure, Buffy spoke to them… I think that Willow was coming via Budapest, meeting with Giles in London, and then on to here.”
“Budapest?”
“Yep… something about an old Hungarian coven, roots in dark magic… blah blah blah, personally..? I think it’s more to do with the whole pride thing they got over there at the mo, Red just loves gaying it up.”
She saw the brief flash of pain across Kennedy’s face. She had forgot for a moment, forgotten how it used to be.
“Shit. Now ‘I’m’ sorry… letting my mouth motor away. I’m sure it’s just the witches thing. Not the gay thing.”
“Doesn’t matter Faith. Me and Red were over months ago… she’s free to do what she wants.”
“You nervous about seeing her?”
“Oh no… we keep in ‘touch’…”
“In touch?”
There was something smug in the way Kennedy had said it…
“Oh ya know… she was in LA two months ago… we touched.”
Kennedy threw a wink at Faith as she said it. Yes it hurt, not being with Willow, but it just wasn’t working. She wanted to stay here, to slay in one place, have roots, have friends. Willow wanted to travel around, said she had spent her whole life in one place, and now she wanted to visit many. It sucked. But that was life. She still loved her, couldn’t imagine ever stopping… and maybe one day? Maybe one day Willow would feel like settling down, and then she would be on hand to swoop in and claim the lady.
“What about you, hot stuff?”
“Huh?”
“Don’t play coy, Faith. REALLY doesn’t suit… you and Buffy, the queen of angst… you scored yet?”
“There’s more to life than scoring, Ken.”
“So that’s a ‘no’ then, right?”
Faith shook her head in exasperation, why didn’t anyone ever think she wanted more than a fuck. More than a tumble? It used to amuse her, but now that she had Buffy, she wanted people to understand that it was more. That Buffy was everything to her.
“That’s a ‘no comment’. It’s a ‘maybe I’m more than a quick roll person’. It’s a ‘doesn’t anybody see that I’m fucking CRAZY about this girl… crazy about Buffy?’”
Kennedy was stunned into silence. She had known that it WAS more to Faith. The amount of times she had ended up speaking about Buffy with Faith for no apparent reason. EVERY time they were out slaying together…
‘so there was this one time that Buffy did this thing…’
Or…
‘man, you should see the way that B does this totally bitching flip…’
Or…
‘so why do ya think B left? You think she’s happy in Europe..? With all those… Europeans?…’
Or the one which popped up every week. Or everyday. Depended how often they saw each other…
‘do you think she wants me to ring her? I mean, she never called me, but I’m the tough one, she probably thinks I don’t think about her… maybe if I rang on her birthday, ya think that would be cool..?’
She knew that Faith had never rung. Buffy was like her ‘thing’. Her weak spot. In fact the reason that she had been stunned into silence now was because Faith had never come out and said how much Buffy meant to her. Everyone knew. Or guessed. But Faith never said it.
“What, Ken? Why the dumb looks?”
Kennedy shook the look. She hadn’t meant to stare open mouthed, eyes wide. But she HAD been stunned.
“I just… I get that you’re crazy about her… I kinda get that you’ve always been crazy about her…”
Faith looked at her questioningly. How could she know about always?
“…Willow.”
“Right.”
Made sense to Faith. Willow would of known.
“I just guess… I never heard you SAY you were into anyone. Even when you were with Robin, you never, ya know… gave a shit?”
“Uh-huh.”
Faith looked around to check that there was no-one about to over hear her. She wasn’t big on the chat, certainly didn’t want an audience. It was quite handy that the sewers were not packed to full with people dying to hear about her love life, she could talk unfettered.
“You know what it’s like to be a slayer, Ken… it makes it hard to be with anyone, to care about anyone… and boy did I learn THAT the hard way…”
She laughed as she remembered. The past wasn’t so painful anymore.
“…but her? Buffy? I just… I don’t even know what I’m saying here, it’s just like she’s always been what I wanted. WHO I wanted. The first time I saw her, I knew I wanted her… wanted to fuck her…”
Now Kennedy laughed. THAT was more like the Faith she knew!!
“…slow down, Chuckles… I figured out pretty quick that it was more than that! And then I had it figured out, but she… well, she… I guess she just never got it.”
“Until now?”
“Fuck knows. I think so. I hope so. I kinda love her. I DO love her. Be nice to be able to tell her one day.”
“Don’t sweat it, Faith. Ya gotta figure that if Buffy’s finally giving it up, then something’s at last clicked in her head. Or she’s finally gone mad… but something must be different.”
“Maybe it was just finally time. Our time.”
Kennedy looked into the face of her friend. Could see the hope. The love in the eyes…
“She IS finally giving it up then?”
“Huh?”
“‘IT.’”
“Up yours, Ken.”
“Now THAT’s just gross… I mean, not Buffy as a whole, but Buffy up mine… wrong… she’s kinda cute, I’ll give her that… and the body is guaranteed hot… but ewww!”
The sound of the clump she took to the head could be heard echoing through the tunnels of the sewer system. As could their laughter which followed. It was getting late. There was no sign of Angel, or the demons… time to call it a night. Kennedy was eager to get home and primp for tomorrow. Faith was eager to get home and see the woman she loved. The smile on her face said it all.
Faith got back to W&H in record time. She didn’t think she’d ever been so excited to make it there… except maybe after Sunnydale the last time. That had also been all sorts of welcome. Still this was better though. She could taste Buffy’s last kiss on her lips, the one she had taken… not for luck, but just for her. She planned on taking loads more of them. Kissing Buffy was beyond great, it was sexy and hot and lusty and ungh!
Talking to Kennedy had just made her more hyped. To be able to tell someone else what she was feeling, how she was feeling… it felt pretty good. Freeing. And now she wanted to go grab Buffy, drag her down from the monsters tower, check into a nice private room with bitching room service and tell her. All night long. Just telling her how much she meant to her, had always meant to her. And sure sign language was part of the plan. It was all in the hands after all! As she hit the button on the elevator, which would deliver her to her girl, she looked in the mirror, gave herself a wink, and thought just how lucky Buffy was. She was prime cuts, and she was all for her.
When the elevator opened at the top, she was a little disappointed that Buffy wasn’t all arms outstretched and pining, but it was cool. She could cope. Maybe Buffy had got tired. Was having a lay down. She checked the bedroom, and still wasn’t overly worried. The bathroom next. The wet towel on the floor giving something away. Buffy was a slob! She’d speak to her about that, no woman of hers was gonna be a slob. She was slob enough all by herself! Next she dug out her cell and tried calling Buffy’s number, but she could hear the answering ring in the room, so that was a no no.
Deep down inside of her, just beginning to take shape, was the slightest little slither of fear, just working its way up the back of her neck, travelling her spine… icy fingers reaching out.
Maybe Buffy was down with Fred? The two of them could surely babble away for hours. Or catching up on old times with Wes? Watcher, slayer talk. Or in the training rooms? Or…
But Faith already knew. Had already seen the note propped up on the table. Was ignoring it. Because she KNEW!
HE had her.
She dropped to her knees in silence. Sucker punched completely. Winded. Broken.
It was only the thought that she had to get Buffy back, had to save her, that finally made her able to rise, to approach the table, to glance at the flower in front of the note. It was from the vase… she didn’t think it had any special meaning, the petals were all ripped from the head… scattered across the table top.
It took forever for her fingers to reach the note, to open it, for her eyes to focus on the words.
‘She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not…
So which is it, Faith?
Will she, won’t she, will she, won’t she…
Will YOU join the dance?’
And once she had read them, she felt first her heart break, and then her heart harden. Everything was different.
She was going to hunt Angelus.
She slowly came round, as if wading through a swamp surrounded by a dense fog, at least it smelt like a swamp… she wasn’t sure if it felt like one, she couldn’t move… her arms felt heavy and her legs… wait, no. They didn’t feel heavy, they were chained… held fast.
Buffy started to struggle as clarity returned to her brain. This wasn’t a dream, it was real, and it was her worst nightmare. Angelus had returned, and he was going to kill her. So many times over the last years, she had had this nightmare… so many times she had seen him come in her sleep to claim her… and every morning she had woken up and banished the thoughts to the back of her mind. But now she couldn’t. This was really happening.
Immediately her thoughts flashed to Faith, was she looking for her? Was she scared, worried? Did she know where she was..? Maybe she was coming now… to rescue her, to save her..?
She forced her eyes open to look over where she was being held. She was bound to a stone slab… maybe an altar, it was hard and cold… and she was naked? That realisation made her struggle again, but it was no use. The chains which enslaved her were tainted with magicks, all of her strength made no difference whatsoever. It wasn’t enough.
On every side, all around her, Buffy was surrounded by the slime demons. They were staring at her, hissing amongst themselves, and she could feel the malevolence just blanket over her with each of their wicked gazes. Their desire to kill her was calling to her slayer senses, her need as a warrior to fight… but what could she do?
She couldn’t understand why they didn’t attack her. Didn’t kill her… it was unlike demons to know restraint.
As if reading Buffy’s mind, the slime demons suddenly started to separate, to clear a path for her eyes so as her vision could take in the other prisoner. Someone else in chains.
“ANGEL!”
He slowly lifted his head, brought his own eyes into focus, penetrated her with his gaze.
“Buffy..? I…”
He wanted to say sorry. He knew that it was Angelus that had bought her here. Knew it was the plan that he would lose his soul in her. But how do you apologise for that? How can you ever say sorry?
He took all of his rage, all of his anger and directed it at his bonds. Pulling, kicking, hitting any demon that came too close to him. He couldn’t stay here and hurt Buffy, he would kill himself before he let that happen. He wouldn’t do it!
Buffy was spurred on by Angel’s struggle, by his animalistic clawing at his chains, she tried to join him, pulled with all she had, thought of Faith and pulled harder… but it really was no use. She finally fell back, gave in, allowed the first tear to slide silently from her eyes. She turned her head and locked gazes with Angel again. She didn’t understand what was happening… how he was Angelus, now he wasn’t, why he was chained… but it gave her hope. Futile probably, but for the moment it helped.
Eventually, Angel also gave up. He knew the chains would hold, they always held, but he had had to try. He’d try anything. Buffy was staring at him so hard, perhaps looking for reassurance..? He offered what he could. Spoke the words she needed to hear.
“I won’t do it, Buffy… I won’t hurt you… I…”
His voice broke as he made the empty promise. They both knew that he had no say.
“…I swear I won’t hurt you.”
The lair filled with the hideous noise of the demons laughter, all of them rising up to join together. To mock the Vampire’s words, and the girl's tears. The head slime made his way to Angel, regarded him with disgust, a weakened half breed… they were doing not only themselves a favour, but also the Vampire. Ridding him of his soul for good.
Buffy’s eyes went wide as the hissing began. It was SO loud, it seemed to be creeping into her brain so as her whole head swam with the sound, chanting over and over… she looked to Angel, for comfort… for understanding? But she saw the truth. All he had was desperation and pain. And weakness.
“I’m sorry, Buffy…”
The demon leader turned to Buffy, a twisted smile on his twisted face.
“Angel may not ssssleeeep with you…”
She witnessed as Angel fell, as he rose, as his eyes opened and found hers. As his mouth curved into a sardonic smile, evil personified.
“But I sure as hell will!”
His laughter froze her. Deflated her. There was no hope.
“Tell ussss Angelusss… do you want to play?”
Buffy could feel his eyes as they crawled over her, prickling her flesh, making the chill seep through to her bones.
“I don’t play.”
He almost whispered it. Not making boasts. No empty threats. Just the truth. This wasn’t a game to him, it was more. It was vengeance, it was justice. It was Buffy. And she was his.
The chanting rose again, and Buffy wasn’t sure if it was that which made the chains fall from Angelus’ arms, or if maybe it had imbued him with extra strength, enough to break the bonds himself. Either way, it didn’t matter. He was free, and he was stalking her. And she was terrified.
The lead demon spoke again, but his voice carried a warning now, something for Angelus to remember.
“Do not forget, vampire… not until it issss time… when the moon callsssss the tidessss… then the…”
“Save the speech, Slimes… I know the jingle… ‘moon, tide, gates to hell’…”
He slowly approached the bound form on the altar, almost with caution, maybe reverence. Circling her, studying her from every angle… trying to see what was so special… why it was her that could rip the soul from his alter ego’s body. His body.
Buffy tried to pull back. Tried with everything she was and had ever been to make herself disappear, to make the stone crack and swallow her whole, anything but this. But as was her hope, her efforts were futile.
Angelus allowed his hand to travel the distance to her skin, ran his cold as ice fingers slowly up her body… his passion igniting as her fear increased. Urging him on. He kept smiling at her as he found her breast, touched her there almost delicately, his eyes promising that this would be the only time she felt a gentle touch.
“…don’t worry about me jumping the gun…”
He let his face morph to show his true features, the monster inside.
“…me and Buffy got a whole lot of foreplay to keep ourselves busy.”
He took one last look at her fear, the terror etched so firmly on her face, the dread seeping from her every pore. To him she had never looked more beautiful.
Removing his hand from its lazy ministrations, he slowly bent his head, traced the unwillingly erect nipple with the tip of his tongue. And then he bit. Sank his teeth into the firm flesh of her breast, tearing into her skin, gulping down his first taste, he felt like howling with joy.
The demons around him were becoming excited, the hissing intensifying, the belief in their prophesy being realised. When the time came, Angelus would take her, kill her and the gates would open. Nylorac would rise.
Buffy felt the teeth prick her, felt her skin give way, felt her blood as it swam from her veins. Felt as her throat opened and her scream was released.
Knew that it was futile.
The queue at immigration was predictably slow, and Willow and Giles were amusing themselves with what they would do once Angelus had been restrained, and Angel restored. Both of them hoped that this would be wrapped up sooner rather than later, and that they would have some free time to play with once the crisis had been averted.
“Wesley spoke of a rather glorious text he had come across in his last call… I really would like to be able to study his library, perhaps take some copies home…”
“So whatcha gonna do for fun then, Mr Bookworm..? Maybe decorate the library and watch the paint dry?”
“No, Willow, in my free time I’ll obviously be coming to watch your comedy debut at the local stand up club, I believe they call it… ‘open mike’?… I can just picture you up on stage.”
He chuckled at her panicked look, happy to be the victor.
“No need to get nasty, Giles. I was only saying, what with the fun and the books…”
“Indeed.”
He moved his luggage another foot in front of him as they waited to show their passports.
“So, need I ask what you plan to do with your time, once this latest little disaster has been diverted?”
Willow paused. Part of her wondered that maybe they were being too blasé in their worries over Angel. It just seemed that they had been here before, her twice before… and if it was just a job of safe guarding Angel’s soul..? Well, she felt more than qualified to deal. She just hoped it wasn’t anything more. She remembered quite clearly what Angelus was capable of.
“I was thinking I’d catch up with Buffy, it’s been a few weeks, and we can really let go if we’re both on vacation… then there’s Faith, she NEVER lets me leave LA without a good knees up…”
She cast her mind back to the last time that Faith had caught word she was in town. It had been a blast. She had been blasted. There may or may not have been an incident with a cocktail waitress named ‘Carly’, she couldn’t quite bring herself to remember… but either way… Faith had made sure she had memories to take away with her. Or half memories.
“And Kennedy?”
“Uh… what about her exactly?”
“Well, is the romance off again, or on again… will the room next to mine be filled with the glorious cries of a slayer, or shall it be silence is golden?”
“GILES!”
“Don’t pull the incredulous face at me, Willow… I do recall that I spent the best part of my last holiday with my ears firmly covered.”
Willow didn’t know what to say. And the last holiday they had shared had been different… it was a brief cross over in a hotel as her and Giles travelled to India, and Kennedy was returning from a slaying job in Asia. It had been a few hours, and yes, that may have been a very noisy few hours… but well, they were still together, and they hadn’t hardly seen each other in weeks, and the beds were REALLY comfy… and well, she couldn’t really see that it was Giles’ concern.
“I’m not with Ken now, Giles… I’m sure your ears will be suitably rested.”
He gave her a look which was not quite believing and proceeded to the front of the queue.
The time two months ago when she had last been here was firmly locked inside Willow’s head. It had encouraged her excitement at coming this time. Her and Kennedy had more than made noises. Had possibly invented some new ones… and it had been nice. Felt good. Part of her hoped that maybe something more could happen this time, that maybe they needed to talk again about whether they could be together long distance.
As they went through the motions of flashing their passports and smiling sweetly at officials, Willow began scouring the faces of those at the gates waiting to meet friends. She didn’t know who it would be… had money on Buffy… and that would probably also involve Faith, if Buffy’s last call about a crazy kiss was anything to go by. Maybe it would be Kennedy. Or it could be anyone of many. Maybe a limo. With a chauffer and champagne…
“Willow… Giles.”
Kennedy’s voice pulled her from her musings.
“I’ve been waiting forever, what took you so long?”
“Ever so sorry to keep you, Kennedy.” Giles stole a mischievous look at the red head. “It was Willow, she had some of her herbs confiscated again… ‘magic’ indeed.”
He shook his head despairingly.
“Giles! That story remains unfunny every single time you bring it up. That was once, they WERE magic herbs, and it wasn’t a plane, it was an elephant ride!”
Now it was her turn to shake her head.
“Sorry, Kennedy… the old guy doesn’t travel so well anymore.”
But Kennedy couldn’t find a smile, or a chuckle. She could only find her arms which she wrapped around Willow. Held her as tight as she dared.
“Hey, uh… air?”
She released her grip, couldn’t hide the urgency in her eyes.
“What is it, Ken? Is there a problem, is it Angel?”
Giles felt himself stiffen at the girls side. Didn’t want to hear the news, could feel the dread already ensnaring him.
“It’s Buffy.”
Both the newcomers eyes shot wide. Surprise and then shock and then fear.
“Buffy?”
As you travelled through the grounds of the W&H building you would not know that anything was amiss, people and things still mingled, jobs were still being done, everything was still operational. The activity startled Willow and Giles at first. Kennedy had filled them in on everything on the way over and they had expected the building to bear sombre witness to the news.
“I can’t believe it’s all still so busy.”
“Don’t let it fool you, Will… get past the first floor and this place is dead. Everyone who’s anyone is in on this, Faith’s taking it personal… it IS personal… it’s all on the top floor. Angel’s apartments.”
The journey up seemed to take forever, with not much more to be said between them all. It was relief they felt when the doors finally slid open. Everyone in the room turning to see whom had arrived.
The thing that struck Willow the hardest was the hope in Faith’s eyes as the doors had pulled back. As if some part of her believed that it was going to be Buffy. That she was going to walk away from this unharmed. But she wasn’t Buffy, and Faith’s eyes had gone dead. She still smiled a hello, but her eyes never once showed any light.
“Hey, Red… I’m glad you’re here.”
“Faith, I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry… be helpful.”
She didn’t mean to be harsh, but she didn’t have time for this. Didn’t have the patience. Buffy was out there somewhere, and HE had her. It was twisting her up inside, picturing what he might be doing to her… and she could almost feel as if Buffy herself was calling out to her… her senses tingling so bad, the need to find her driving her crazy.
Everyone got back to business, back to planning. How Giles could help, how Willow could help. But it didn’t matter. The feeling that permeated the room was helplessness. As if they guessed that they wouldn’t be able to do anything, that Angelus held all the cards. He did, in a way, he had Buffy.
Faith eventually called a time out. Just half an hour. Eat if ya needed to, sleep if you wanted to, but in half an hour be ready to go again. No one rests till Buffy is safe.
Everyone took the opportunity to grab some time, it was hard going in the room with Faith, suffocating under her fear, yet willing to do anything in the face of her refusal to give in.
Willow approached her slowly, noting the faraway look in her eyes.
“Hey, Faith..?”
“Hmmm..? Uh… Oh sorry, Red… miles away, what can I do for you?”
“I just wanted to see how you’re doing..? How you’re holding up..?”
“How I’m holding up..?”
She let out a harsh laugh, an empty laugh.
“… I’m fine, Willow. Five by fucking five!.. Now haven’t you got some shit you ought to be doing? A nifty spell up your sleeve to save the day?”
The sarcasm hurt, but it didn’t stick. Willow could see the walls Faith had erected, could see the steely determination in her eyes, but she could see the chinks too. The redness, the tiredness. The desperation.
“You can drop the macho crap with me, Faith… I get it, ok?”
“You get it?” She threw Willow a disbelieving look. “Tell me how you get it, yeah..? Cos I can’t fucking breathe! Every second, Red, it’s killing me… knowing he’s got her, he’s touching her… and I don’t know what to do, what I can do…”
She offered a hopeless gaze Willow’s way.
“…what can I do, Willow..? Tell me what I can do?”
Willow’s arms found her then, held on tight, encouraged her to let it go, let it out. Reassured her with soft words, comforting phrases. It was empty comfort, but it was welcome. Faith was running on empty, hadn’t stopped since she had returned the night before, to Angelus’ note. Had screamed blue murder, had destroyed some furniture, and then had taken command. She had people out all the time looking, searching, trying to rumble the underground grapevine. But nothing. No one was speaking, no one was finding. She, herself had been out too, but all to no avail. It was like Buffy had vanished. Had ceased to exist.
She allowed herself just a brief moment in the safety of Willow’s arms before she pulled herself together. Her losing it wasn’t going to save Buffy, and she hadn’t allowed that idea to fade yet. Wouldn’t allow it to fade.
“So give me a plan, Red… give me something I can do.”
“I take it you did a locator spell, for Buffy… and Angel?”
“Me personally..? Not a chance… but talk to Wes, he deals with all the mumbo jumbo stuff.”
Wes took that as an opportunity to join the conversation, offered whatever he could to Willow, told her how they had tried spells, had tried everything, but something was blocking them, something was preventing them from getting a hold on either Buffy or Angel.
It didn’t phase Willow for a second. Yeah, she may have come here with nothing more taxing than soul saving in her mind, but she was a kick ass Wicca, maybe the best, and no cheap hide and seek spell would be able to stop her. Well she didn’t think it would. She just hoped she had the time to find Buffy before it was too late. While she could still be saved.
“Giles? Get Dawn on the phone, she has to know what’s going on, and she can sure as hell help me with what I’m going to need… tell her to get my books from storage, the old ones… she’ll know the ones, she complained about the dust when we were cataloguing… tell her to get in touch with the coven, might need them, better be prepared… uh… and tell her not to worry. Tell her I’m going to find her.”
She looked at Faith as she spoke the words. She didn’t make a promise, they didn’t need promises… but as sure as she stood there, she knew she would do everything and anything in her power to get Buffy back.
Giles made the call immediately, Wes left to find details of everything they had tried, others retreated back into what they were doing before Willow had commanded the room.
“You really think you can do it, Red..? You think you can find her for me?”
Faith wanted to believe her so much, wanted to trust in her. The stake she had been absentmindedly twirling in her hand was now being held tight, starting to strain with the force being exerted on it, her fingers gripping as if for dear life.
“I can do it, Faith. It might take time… I need to get the stuff together, to break through whatever’s cloaking her… but I CAN do it.”
“How much time?”
“A day… two?”
She deflated at that. Wanted results now. Yesterday. Willow noticed the faraway look come over Faith’s eyes again. The ‘not really here-ness’ to her.
“I swear, Red… I fucking swear, if he so much as thinks about touching her…”
She released the grip on her stake, let it rest in her hand the way it belonged there.
“…if he even so much as looks at her wrong, I will fucking kill him. No if’s… no but’s, he hurts Buffy, it’s game over…”
Her grip went tight again now, ready to plunge, ready to kill.
“…he’s dust.”
And she meant it.
Far below ground, somewhere under the streets of Los Angeles, Buffy was in more pain than she had ever known. She didn’t have any concept of how long she had been there, just the level of hurt she was being forced to endure. It was like a game to Angelus. He would taunt her, spit words of filth at her, explain in explicit detail exactly how he was going to fuck her, to possess her, to make her his again, the way she should have been. Over and over.
She would try to block him out, try to make it all go away, but then he would be on her. As soon as he realised she was phasing out he would bring her back. He would bite her, or scratch her… he’d already touched her. Forced his fingers into the places that were never meant for him to go.
He called it softening her up. Making her ready for what was to come. Marking his territory before he claimed it. It all made her sick.
Made her want to die.
But then she thought of Faith. And even at the worst, as he hit her repeatedly, violated her unmercifully, she would not give in. Not give up.
Buffy was thinking about her now. Trying to recall times before when they had dreamt together… had managed to keep contact even with both of them unconscious to the world… but she didn’t know how. Seemed like it was Faith who had made it happen. But she tried… what else did she have to focus on? He was at her now, Angelus… drinking from her inner thigh… not enough to bleed out, but enough to stay weak, to keep her welts raised, her body torn.
And she focused. She focused on Faith. With all her mind, everything she had. She brought forth the feeling, the tingle, the hum. She remembered the voice… the husky yet gentle tone, the way her name sounded like it was coated in honey whenever it slipped from Faith’s mouth… the passion that burned in her eyes, whether she was slaying or training, or arguing over which top went better with her leathers. There was always passion, belief in something. She focused on the feel of her, the touch of her… everything she had waited for, was still waiting for… she focused on everything. She focused on the love.
And then she was slipping, falling, spiralling.
Unconscious at last.
Willow glanced over at Faith, she looked exhausted, totally spent. She had been out searching again, had come back empty handed and dejected again. A cycle that repeated itself every few hours. Willow was worried about her, scared that she was coiling tighter and tighter under the pressure, ready to explode at any moment, and she understood why, she really did… but she couldn’t bear to see someone else self destruct because they had lost the woman they loved.
She wished that there was more that she could do other than poring over the books, but she knew that, that was where she was doing her best. The sooner she could put a spell together that would reveal Buffy, the sooner she could really help Faith.
Willow cast her mind back just a few days, to the almost giddy Buffy that had rang her with unbelievably crazy news. Well if it was news you hadn’t suspected for the last three years. More with hindsight.
“So guess what I did, Wills… betcha can’t!”
“I don’t know, Buff… bought new shoes?”
“You think I’d be this excited over new shoes?”
“Made a new friend?”
“Will.”
“Ooooo did Buffy make a boyfriend? Is Buffy in lurve?”
Willow had smirked to herself at Buffy’s uncontrollable giggling.
“That’s it isn’t it? You scored!”
“NO! Will…not scored, but I did kiss someone, a very sexy someone, a very sexy, very yummy, very ‘oh my god, what am I doing’ someone…”
“Oh wow! You kissed Angel?”
“No, Angel! Much sexier… kinda… well, she’s…she is SO sexy!”
“She..? As in… Faith? You KISSED Faith? Lips together, kissing?”
There was more giggling from Buffy’s end.
“Yes, she… yes, Faith… and how the hell did you know?”
Willow sighed at the memory. It seemed so long ago now, yet it really wasn’t. All that energy and excitement, the happiness in her voice. It hurt. She couldn’t even imagine how bad Faith was doing inside.
Glancing at her again, she caught her eyes drooping, saw her fighting herself to stay awake… forcing herself to remain alert. Remain focused.
She approached her softly, not wanting to push, to say the wrong thing.
“Faith..?”
“Hmmm?”
Faith was studying a book, not willing to stop doing something, anything, as long as it was something. It could be the bit of information that saved Buffy. The next line, the next page, the next text. She would keep looking.
“Do ya think maybe you need a break… just a nap, a rest?”
“Hmmm.”
A non committal answer if ever she heard one! She could work with that.
“You could lay on the sofa… I’ll wake ya in thirty, just rest a little, yeah?”
“What’s that, Red? Sorry… lost in a book. Who would’ve thought it, huh?”
“Find anything?”
Faith glanced away, not able to speak her growing failure.
“Let me take over, give yourself a break.”
“A break? Not a chance.”
“Faith… You’re gonna burn out, you NEED a rest. Just close your eyes, I promise I’ll wake you.”
Faith choked out a pained laugh. Shook her head.
“I closed my eyes once, Red. Yesterday. Just for a minute… ya know what happened?”
Now it was Willow’s turn to shake her head.
“I saw her. She was smiling at me, holding her arms out… and I wanted to run to her, to take her and hold her forever, but I couldn’t could I?”
Her voice broke over the words, even the memory of a dream too painful.
“Because it isn’t fucking real. And that was the worst, waking up and forgetting… for two seconds, that first second… I can’t do it, Red. I can’t close my eyes… I can’t see her again…”
Willow’s heart was breaking, the pain was so real, so tangible. She understood, she understood better than most, but she also knew Faith needed to sleep. Even a few minutes would be enough for a slayer. She hoped that Faith would forgive her, would understand.
She raised her hand and placed it on Faith’s shoulder, seemingly giving comfort… whispered a couple of words under her breath, and watched as Faith’s fight against sleep was lost. It wasn’t a deep spell, wasn’t a deep sleep, just a moment.
One moment of peace.
The first thing she was aware of was a warm pair of arms, arms that felt safe, arms that were holding her as if they would never let go, arms she belonged in.
Next soft lips. It was a ghostly touch, almost as if it wasn’t really there, just a tickle across her mouth. And then tears. She could feel them as they slipped silently from her eyes, they felt real. They were real.
“Buffy..? Open your eyes.”
She didn’t want to. It may not be real, but it felt safe, opening her eyes could mean the truth, that she wasn’t safe. She was there, with him… and this was just a hallucination, her mind feeding her images they knew she needed to see.
“Faith..?”
It came out a question, her voice pleading with the other to be really real.
“I’m here, B.”
And then the arms were there again. Firmer, offering her something to hang on to, something to cling to. She opened her eyes slowly, still unsure, but so hopeful. Just let it be Faith. Just one more time.
“Oh god, it’s you. It’s really you.”
“Buffy… listen to me, Red’s here… Giles too, we’re gonna get you…”
“I’m so weak, Faith…”
“I know, baby… but we’re coming, you’ve got to hang on…”
Buffy’s eyes held a far off look. Far off in pain.
“Buffy?”
Her shoulders were sagging as if in defeat, she couldn’t meet Faith’s eyes again.
“I don’t think I can hold on… it hurts so bad, Faith… he… he… oh, god… he drinks from me…all over…”
She thought of all the other things he did to her. The other ways he weakened her.
“…he hurts me, Faith…”
Her head dropped, pointed to the floor the, same as her eyes. Just a whisper escaping from her lips.
“… he HURTS me.”
Faith knew exactly what she meant. Exactly how he hurt her. Not only the physical, but the mental. The emotional. The hopelessness, the humiliation, the degradation… they were things she knew… things you never forgot. It killed her to hear Buffy speak the words. She had known, deep down, that Angelus would be tormenting her that way… but to hear the words spoken, to hear the pain the words were wrapped in. She wanted to kill.
She tried to hold on to her rage though, to stay calm, to reassure, to comfort.
“It’s ok, B. I’ve got you.”
Asking her next question was gonna be hard. She didn’t want to hear the answer. Was scared it would ruin her. Would break her.
“I… has it..? Is it..? Did Angel… lose his soul..? Did he..?”
“No.”
Buffy let out a harsh laugh. Why would he do that when it was so much fun hurting her other ways. Taunting her about the pain that was to come. When she would be his. Forever.
“He has to wait… the demons have a schedule… I think my slots Friday at eight, right after dinner…”
Her attempt at humour didn’t bring a smile. It was all too helpless.
“Buffy… B, look at me… I’m going to save you…”
“It hurts, Faith.”
The younger girl could feel it mounting. The pressure of needing to end this. To find her, to save her, to kill him. The anger, the frustration. Everything.
“Fuck that shit, Buffy!… fuck the hurt, you’re a slayer…”
She almost wanted to shake Buffy. To tell her. She had to hold on, couldn’t give up, because if she gave up now… then what about her? But she didn’t shake her. Saw the fear that her outburst had brought, and instead held her. Enveloped her in safe arms.
“I’m so sorry, B.”
Both of them looked up at the tug. Could both feel it… as though they had used up their time, money run out. Buffy’s eyes were desperate, she was clinging so fiercely, afraid to let go, aware that this could be the last time.
Faith was aware too. Her whole body was fighting to stay here. Forever if it meant with Buffy.
“I’m gonna save you, B… I swear it. I am going to save you.”
As it started to fade, already becoming a memory, nothing but a dream, Faith captured Buffy’s lips in a final kiss.
A ghost’s touch.
Buffy awoke with a start. With pain. With fear. He loomed above her, snarling, more beast than man.
“Honey… you’re back… just in time for a snack…”
He laughed as his face changed, showed his true nature. Moaned as his teeth touched flesh, sank below the levels, pierced a vein and tasted blood. Her blood. He couldn’t get enough of it. So intoxicating. So sweet. He only hoped that he could hang on for his new friends. But he wasn’t so sure. Every time he touched her, tasted her, he could feel control slipping. And as he tasted her now, felt himself firm between her legs, felt her flesh touching him… he didn’t really care.
Faith also awoke with a start. For a moment she could feel it. The connection still just there. Her mind and Buffy’s. And she felt the pain, felt the hopelessness… the helplessness. Felt everything.
And it felt like giving up.
Hours swam in her head, minutes, seconds. All mixed up. She had tried so hard to hang on to some sort of clock, an inner thing. Counting the nights by her body’s need to slay. But it hadn’t worked. She had become too weak, her body not caring anymore when the sun sank and the moon rose, it wouldn’t fight. Couldn’t fight. It didn’t need to know the time anymore.
Everything just seemed like forever. Like daylight didn’t exist. Like people didn’t exist. Maybe even that she herself didn’t exist. Reality had become nothing but pain. And the hissing… endless and over and over. So many demons now, more than an army. They constantly surrounded her, not communicating with her, nothing but the hissing.
Angelus was there all the time. She hadn’t seen Angel again, wasn’t sure that Angel hadn’t been vanquished forever. That this whole losing the soul gig wasn’t just an excuse for Angelus to get laid.
For a time it hadn’t been so bad. She couldn’t think when since, just knew that there had been no fresh pain in a while. A welcome while. But she also knew what that meant. Had been told what that meant. Seemed like maybe she was nearing her time slot. Her dinner date, and don’t be late.
A part of her just wanted it all to be over. Whatever that entailed. Wanted to go to sleep, to rest, to be free. To stop hurting.
But another part, the largest part… that cried for something more. Sure it wanted to rest, to be free, to stop hurting, but it wanted it where it belonged. It wanted it with Faith. SHE wanted it with Faith. To be wrapped in arms that didn’t scare her, to feel a touch given with love… it was everything that was keeping her going.
To have woken so fresh from her dream to her nightmare had been horrendous, one second it was Faith’s lips that had claimed her, and in the next it was his. Pleasure and pain. Whoever had said they went well together..? She was going to fucking kill them.
She used every ounce of strength she had left to focus on the pleasure, to cling to every moment she had ever had with Faith, good and bad. All of it, because every second of those memories was so much better than this. Anything was better than this. And Faith’s words, the last ones she had heard her speak in the instant before a kiss…
‘I’m gonna save you, B… I swear it. I am going to save you.’
…they were her mantra. They drowned out the obscenities, the threats, the promises… everything that Angelus was offering her. The things he was doing to her. They kept alive the final piece of hope in her body. That once… just one more time, she would be able to see Faith.
The sudden silence in the lair was as deafening as the noise had been. It confused Buffy. Disorientated her. As she slowly took the effort to open her eyes, she didn’t half wonder, maybe pray… that it HAD all been a nightmare. The in bed, eyes shut tight, nothing’s really real, kind of nightmare.
But it wasn’t. The pain was still too fresh for her to have truly believed it anyway.
Her necked strained as she turned her head, all the muscles protesting against movement, begging for maybe, just a moments more rest. But curiosity was too much, she had to know what was happening, what was going on, what her fate was to be.
The demons were paying her no mind, all their thoughts concentrating on the Vampire in the corner. He was being anointed, his body painted with the symbols of the great King Nylorac, made ready for the union, the opening of gates, the return to existence. It was so close now. Tonight after sunset it would begin, and then it would end. Nylorac would rise.
Angelus could feel the power infusing his body as the symbols were painted upon him, whatever it was they were using was sinking beneath his skin, finding its way into his veins, un-tethering his soul, the need for the hissing less now. Let them save their voices as he had saved his strength. All he could think to himself was ‘not long now’ and that finally she would be his. Buffy would be his. It almost made him happy.
Buffy herself, closed her eyes, relented against her neck muscles. She didn’t need to see. Didn’t need to know. She already KNEW. It wouldn’t be long now, and she would be his.
A nagging voice just wouldn’t go away though.
‘I’m gonna save you, B.’
Keeping her there. Keeping her sane. She wanted so much to believe it. Because if there was one thing that she was sure of, more than sure of. She sure as hell needed saving. A whole lot of saving.
In the boardroom of W&H there was also a sudden silence, the hum of chatter and excitement brought to an end. Faith had entered the room. There was a time before, when Faith entering a room would have meant happy times, jokes, banter… a whole lot of crudeness. All the slayers knew her, some well, some not so well, and some of them considered her a friend. Ones like Kennedy who had bore witness the last few days to the absolute pain that Faith was going through. It ripped at her, tore into her… yet still she kept going. She was an inspiration. That was why the room had quietened. Out of respect.
Faith glanced around, not seeing faces, only numbers. This was it. Tonight was the night. Party time. They were just waiting to hear from Dawn, hear word from the coven that everything was set. That Willow’s spell had indeed uncovered Buffy’s whereabouts, the correct time for the ritual. She knew it had. She trusted in Willow and her abilities as a witch. She could also feel it inside, her heart beating out the seconds… a tingle so slight, a warmth so vague… it pulled at her, niggled at her, as if Buffy herself was letting her know. Was calling to her to come. To keep her word. To save her.
As she totted up figures in her head, mentally calculated who was going with whom, which girl was leading which group, she hoped and prayed that it would be enough, that she could save her. It was in her nature to have confidence, to be the cocky one, always leading into a battle… not so hot on the planning, but this was different. Her bravado felt like shit in the face of losing Buffy, counted for nothing. She gathered her wits about her, shrugged Kennedy’s supporting hand from the base of her back… she walked to the front of the room alone. The leader.
“Guys…”
Everyone’s eyes were already on her, she took a deep breath, prepared for a speech.
“… first off, thank you. I mean it… each and everyone of you. None of you had to be here today, no-one is forcing you… you CHOSE to be here. Offered to be here. It means a lot to me… means everything to me. What we have, what we do… it’s a calling, a curse, a gift. The best and the worst…”
Understanding nods went through the ‘audience’. Truth was being spoken.
“…but no-one can MAKE us do it. No-one can force us against our will to put our lives on the line for the sake of good, never a thank you, not even acknowledgement… We do it because of the person we are… the person we want to be…”
She thought of Buffy. Every thought was for Buffy.
“…the person she makes us be.”
For a second it seemed as though her voice would crack, the weight of her words too much for her to handle. But it didn’t; SHE didn’t.
“Buffy’s always been a leader, always been the one at the front of the room inspiring everyone to follow her, to trust in her. But tonight she can’t be here… tonight the scum sucking evil that she helps put in the ground is looking to return the favour, looking to take one of our own… the best of our own.”
Everyone’s shoulders squared. Words inspiring them to be ready to give their best. To give their all. To be slayers.
“I say we don’t let that happen. I say we go down there and make slime pie of every piece of shit that dares stand in our way, show them what a slayer is, what a slayer means… show them why this city is OUR city.”
The answering hum of the girls was like music to Faith’s ears, she could feel the electricity as it charged the air around her, warriors replacing girls, a battle ready to be fought.
“Buffy isn’t theirs… was never theirs. She ours. She’s one of us… and I say we go bring her home!”
The roar of the slayers wasn’t triumphant, wasn’t an orgy of excitement. It was a cry of readyness. Ready to fight. Ready to win. They had learnt well.
Kennedy stepped forward, she had shown herself, to be ready to lead the last few days. Quick to offer suggestions, to volunteer for one more job, anything else to help. Now she issued Faith’s orders. Repeated instructions to each of the team leaders, clarified directives. Everyone was ready. All they needed was the go ahead. The call from England.
They didn’t wait long.
Faith settled herself in Angel’s chair as the call was put through, Dawn appearing as if by magic on the screen in front of them.
“Hey, Dawnie… what’s the word? We all systems go..?”
“Hi, Willow, yes. Definitely. They went over everything… agreed with the texts for a change…”
She chuckled slightly at that, not for long, but was rewarded with an answering chuckle from Giles. They often had ‘run-ins’ with the coven over what held more truth… magic or literature. Very rarely did they agree. Giles was glad that this time they had. He could not bear it if Buffy didn’t make it, had only grown to love her more since she hadn’t been his slayer. His charge.
Final words of the plan were exchanged between England and LA, they were preparing to offer goodbyes, when Dawn spoke again. Not so much the woman now, just the scared girl, the little sister of Buffy.
“Faith..?”
“What is it, Dawn?”
“Promise you’ll save her..? Please..? Just promise me?”
The emotion poured from the screen, the time delay between sound and mouth not dampening the pain etched across Dawn’s features… the begging in her voice.
“I…”
Faith didn’t know what she could say, she hadn’t even promised herself that she would save Buffy, so terrified was she of tempting the fates. But how could she refuse..? This was Dawn, and she wanted so bad to offer her the comfort she hadn’t been able to find for herself.
“…oh god, Dawn… I swear to you, if there’s anything I can do… any chance that I can save her, that I can bring her back to you..? I promise I’ll do it. On my life, Dawn. I promise.”
It was the best she had to offer. She was prepared to die trying. It was EVERYTHING she had to offer.
Dawn silently disappeared as the connection was cut. That was it. All systems go. Willow approached Faith, a question to ask, a just in case to consider.
“Faith, should I prepare a spell for Angel, for his soul… just in case, if we can save him..?”
The room froze, everyone turned to see the verdict. To hear Faith’s words. They came out flat. Dead.
In her head she was seeing thousands of images, flooded by thousands of memories. The first years old, her and Buffy, side by side, fighting evil. Drawn together like an unstoppable force, heading towards a euphoric conclusion. But then he was there. On the sidelines. Always. Watching, waiting, claiming. The girl was his. She was alone.
The next an alleyway, the end of a line. She remembered her words, her pleas.
‘Angel… just do it! Please, just do it! Kill me. Just kill me.’
But he hadn’t. He wouldn’t. He had saved her.
So many more, so many times… so much he had done.
Finally her images flashed to Buffy, felt her heart break at the view, tug at the feeling.
‘He hurts me, Faith… he HURTS me.’
Felt the pain crash through her, knew it was real.
She shook her head clear, sucked in a breath, let out a sigh. Stared Willow straight in the eye. No one doubted the conviction with which she spoke.
“No, Red. Not this time… if he’s lost his soul… if he’s touched Buffy..? That’s it...”
She steeled herself then for what she knew she would have to do. For the action she had just assured herself she was prepared to take. To kill Angel.
“…No more chances.”
...continued in part 21...