The Mask I Wear
by Living Dead Girl
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc own all
the characters, I’m just playing around with them.
Spoilers: Set a while after season 5, sequel to Here I
Am.
Author's Notes: “” depicts speech, [ ] depicts thought
Feedback: Yes please!!!
The shorter woman, holding her cheek, looked at Faith in utter disbelief, mouthing the brunette’s name with no sound coming out. Buffy tried to shake herself out of her shock and was about to retaliate from the knock Faith gave her, but stopped when she saw the younger girl just stand back with her eyes tightly shut, waiting for Buffy to beat the crap out of her. This shocked the older slayer even more.
Faith opened her eyes, wondering why the attack hadn’t come yet. [Shit! Say something. Or I could run, no B would probably follow.]
[She still looks so good, I mean well! She looks well! Oh God what the hell am I saying? I hate her! Don’t I? I mean…How dare she come back here!] “Why are you here Faith?” Buffy said in her coldest voice.
“I…umm…”
“Is it the revenge thing? Cos that’s gettin kinda old don’t ya think?”
[Tell her I’m sorry…or just get outta this situation as quick as I can.] “Just a short visit, didn’t mean to bother ya B.”
With that Faith tried to leave, but Buffy grabbed her arm and brought her back to face her.
“Why were you following me?”
“I wasn’t!” Faith snapped. “Don’t flatter yourself!” [Shit! Nice attitude! That’ll impress her!]
“You followed me from the cemetery!”
“You know, believe it or not, the world doesn’t revolve around you!” [Ok so it does, well, mine does anyway.]
“Does Angel know you’re here?”
Faith stayed silent, and continued to avoid Buffy’s eyes.
“He does, doesn’t he?!” Now Buffy was pissed. “And he didn’t even tell me! No wonder he was so funny on the phone with me last night when I asked about you!”
Faith’s eyes lit up slightly, and before she could stop herself, she blurted out, “You asked about me?”
[I care about you…Wait no, don’t make this easy on her, be spiteful!] “Just making sure he wasn’t dusted, and you weren’t on some kinda killing spree!”
[Ouch! Okay, I deserved that.]
Buffy seen a flash of regret and hurt over the younger slayer’s face, before it was covered up with a mask of indifference. Buffy instinctively wanted to hug her. [Hug her? I should beat the hell out of her!]
“Well as much as it’s been great catchin' up B, I gotta motor.” Faith turned around and started to walk away, half expecting a heavy object to the back of the head as she did, trying to keep herself from falling apart.
Buffy watched her go. [Should I stop her? I don’t even know why she’s here yet, I don’t think it's revenge. I can’t let her go.] The blonde was confused, wondering why she didn’t want to let Faith go, why she felt like she couldn’t lose her again.
Buffy always felt guilty about what happened with Faith. She had everything that Faith hadn’t, and she always made sure Faith knew that. [Hell, I even put her in a coma, maybe she should want revenge.] Sometimes, Buffy dreamed about Faith and that night.
[We do need to talk.] She started to run in the direction that the brunette went, finally catching up with her.
Faith swung round as she heard Buffy approach. “Aw, miss me already B? Who’s following who now?” [Why can’t I keep my big mouth shut?]
The shorter girl shot her dirtiest look. “Always the smart-ass Faith! Now I don’t know why, because you said nothin' to make me think this, but for one minute there, I thought you had changed. How wrong was I?!” Buffy turned to leave.
“Sorry.” Faith croaked.
“What?” Buffy spun back round, again shocked.
Faith was about to cover it up with some wisecrack remark, but she stopped herself. She always had this front, this guard that she didn’t like to let down, she didn’t like people to know what was really going on inside. But she wanted Buffy to know how much she regretted what she did. [Ok, here it goes.] “I’m sorry…for everything I did to you, your friends, your mom, I know that’s lame, and there’s no way I can apologise for the things I did, but I just wish there was something I could do to make up for any part…I…I dunno what to do. But I’m sorry and you can go ahead and kick the crap outta me.” Faith, even surprised at herself, looked at the ground, waiting for a reaction.
Buffy was speechless, that was the reply she was expecting the least. She hadn’t seen Faith like this since Angel’s, when Buffy threatened to beat the hell outta her if she apologised, but now she didn’t want to, she could believe that Faith meant it this time. “Coffee?”
“Huh?”
“I’m going for a coffee, wanna come and we can talk?”
“Um…Yeah that’d be cool.”
“This does not mean in any way that I forgive you!”
“I know.”
The girls went to The Expresso Pump, and talked for well over an hour, but only seemed like a few minutes to both of them.
Buffy left Faith at her motel room and headed home. The talk did them both good. They didn’t discuss the past too much, and Buffy told Faith she’d give her a chance, and told her what she’d need to do next. Buffy could tell this wasn’t a game, she was glad the other slayer was back. It was almost as if she felt complete. She felt something for the brunette, more than just a connection. [It’s a slayer thing, nothing else.] But she couldn’t help wondering…why she didn’t feel it with Kendra?
The darker slayer lay on her bed, she was tired, she’d been tired for over 3 years now. Faith felt happier now, but she knew she’d have to tread carefully. Tomorrow was a big day, it would decide a lot. [Why is Buffy being nice to me at all?] She’d think about an answer to that later, she had enough to deal with…
Tomorrow she’d be facing the scoobies.
...continued in Court is in Session...