Epiphany
by Lip Shakur
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Joss.
Author's Notes: The song is by Staind and it's called Epiphany.
(Your words to me just a whisper Your face is so unclear I try to pay attention Your words just disappear)
Faith leant back against the headboard of her bed and inhaled deeply on her cigarette as she listened to Buffy rant on about something Xander had said to her. Well, listened wasn’t quite the word, more like saw. She was mesmerised by the blond. The way she spoke, the looks her face created, the way she emphasized with her hands, all of it captivated the brunette slayer. Anyone looking in on the scene would have thought Faith was paying 100% attention to the other girl, the look of concentration evident on her face. But the words Buffy spoke made no impact on Faith, didn’t even register.
“You know what I mean? What’s with that?” Buffy finally stopped for air and looked over at Faith.
“Hmm. Yeah. I totally understand B.” Faith nodded slightly, exhaling the smoke as she did so.
Buffy looked sceptical for only a second before smiling at being agreed with. She started to go off into another tirade, unaware Faith had slipped back into her watching role, any words she was about to speak flying away.
(Coz it’s always raining in my head Forget all the things I should have said)
Eventually Buffy noticed her one sided conversation and sat down at the end of the bed, noticing the way Faith’s eyes followed wherever she went.
“You ok Faith?” She asked, frowning silently. Faith ran the question though her head, thinking of all the possible replies she could come up with. The most frequent one she used came out of her mouth.
“5 by 5, B.”
(So I speak to you in riddles Coz my words get in my way)
Faith sighed inwardly as she watched the frown deepen slightly on the blond's face. Why could she never say what she wanted to when Buffy was around? Why couldn’t she just tell her how she felt? God knows she wanted to. Wanted to share every single one of her thoughts with Buffy, wanted the girl to just be able to look at her and understand. Faith opened her mouth slightly, as if to say something, and then changed her mind, placing the cigarette in her mouth instead.
(I smoke the whole thing through my head and I feel it wash away Coz I can’t take anymore of this I want to come apart Or dig myself a little hole Inside your precious heart) (Coz it’s always raining in my head Forget all the things I should have said)
“Alright…you wanna go patrolling?” Buffy got up off the bed and broke the silence the room had accumulated.
“Sure. Just gimme a minute to get changed and we’re good to go.” Faith stood, flicked the cigarette out of the open window and picked some clothes out from her draw. When she emerged from the bathroom in her attire Buffy raised an eyebrow.
“Wow. Either you’re hoping to score with some of the undead or you just really like the second skin feel.” The older slayer remarked.
Faith just smirked at her and looked across in the mirror to scope out her reflection. Skintight wasn’t the word for her new leather trousers, they were hugging bones. Her top clung to her in all the right places and left enough exposed for her to be able to breath. She topped in off with her ever-present denim jacket that was a close second favourite to her leather one.
“For real Faith, you look great.” Buffy said seriously. Faith looked over at her and they locked eyes. How come Buffy could compliment Faith on the way she looked and yet when Faith tried to compliment Buffy she got all tongue tied and fidgety? She blushed a little and cursed silently.
“Thanks. Let’s motor.” Faith propelled herself out the motel door quickly, avoiding Buffy’s eyes.
(I am nothing more than A Little girl inside That cries out for attention Yet I always try to hide)
They’d combed 4 graveyards so far and nothing. The small talk had died off somewhere around cemetery 2 and the silence had followed them since. Faith found herself praying for a few vampires, or a demon, anything to break the uncomfortable air she found herself in.
“This is useless. I think we’re in for a no show tonight.” Buffy sighed.
“I guess you’re right.” Faith agreed as the two of them stopped.
“What time is it?” Buffy enquired.
“Didn’t bring a watch.” Faith mumbled, knowing what was coming.
“I should take off.” Buffy told her.
Faith nodded seemingly in understanding. “Off to see Angel?” She hoped her voice let nothing go.
“Angel? No. He’s strong enough to look after himself now.” Buffy sat down on one of the tombstones and motioned for Faith to sit next to her, which the brunette did almost cautiously.
“Faith, what’s wrong? You’ve been acting edgy around me for days now. Have I done something?” Buffy asked, a hint of sadness in her voice that made Faith wince.
“No. You haven’t done anything. My heads been a little busy lately.” Faith said in way of an explanation, but it wasn’t good enough for Buffy.
“With what? Talk to me.”
“You wouldn’t understand.” Faith went to get up but Buffy caught her wrist and held her in place.
“Hey, don’t just walk away. I’m not a little girl with her head in the clouds, I know just as well as you do how real life is. Don’t talk to me as if I don’t.” Faith searched Buffy’s eyes for a sign of anger but found only a silent plea, a blatant want for Faith to open up to her, to share with her.
(Coz I talk to you like children Though I don’t know how I feel But I know I’ll do the right thing If the right thing is revealed)
And Faith knew. Right there looking into Buffy’s eyes, realisation swamped her. They both wanted the same thing. They wanted to share with each other. They wanted to know what the other was thinking. Everything Faith wanted from Buffy was mirrored right back at her from the blue eyes she gazed into.
Faith knew she’d never be able to put it into words, but screw it, she always was more of an action kinda girl anyway.
Buffy opened her mouth to speak and Faith knew she had to act now, before she lost this feeling of knowledge, this feeling of rightness. Slowly, but very deliberately so it left no doubt in the blond girls head what Faith was doing, she made her way forward, pulling Buffy closer. She was met with no resistance and finally two pairs of lips met. Hesitant at first, they simply stood together, joined. Buffy let go of Faith’s wrist and put one arm around the brunette’s waist while her other hand touched Faith’s cheek. All the tension that had been stored in Faith’s body for the past week drained away and it felt as if everything that had been constricting her fell away. She applied more pressure to the kiss and Buffy found herself pushed back against the tombstone as their mouths opened and explored each other. The way they tasted, the way it felt, all of it would forever be burned into the memories of each girl.
When they finally pulled away slightly from each other, both of them breathing hard and locking eyes, Faith managed to string some words together.
“Was you gonna say something?”
Buffy stared at her, and then blinked.
“I forgot it.” She breathed and then pulled Faith’s mouth back to hers.
(Coz it’s always raining in my head Forget all the things I should have said.)