Born To Do It
by Lucie
Rating: PG

Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Joss Wheldon and Mutant Enemy etc.
Author's Notes: Hey, I'm a young first time fan fic writer just seeing if I can do a decent enough job. The Buffy universe in this story is probably nowhere near 100% accurate, but it's not 100% inaccurate either. If you like it, please drop me a line. Enjoy :)

Buffy had always thought that she was a slut. A total utter slut. She was disgusted at the way she dressed, disgusted at the way she made her protective of her boyfriends, and deep down, disgusted at the way she made her feel.

Damn her.

She had pushed it down so far, for so long. Buffy’s world was already confused, muddled. Liking, this…this slut…. actually liking her, just added more guilt to the tumbling thoughts that occupied her everyday life.

But…and there was always a but…..Faith, Faith turned her world upside down. Making Buffy yearn for her, secretly, always secretly. Buffy, secretly sending helpless, invisible signals at a girl who wasn’t just straight, but had a ‘get some, get gone’ attitude that could bring even the strongest red-blooded male to his knees.

She didn’t know how long she’d felt this way. Maybe it was after she had plunged the knife into Faith’s stomach and seen her face looking up at her before she fell. Maybe it was after Faith had forgiven her, she had forgiven Faith. Maybe it was the first time she met her.. Buffy tried to push her feelings down, but they just kept on resurfacing. Especially now.

‘Hey, B’.

Pause.

‘Faith.’

Keep it cool, Buffy Summers.

Faith smiled at her.

‘You ready?’

‘Sure am.’ Buffy replied.

Faith sent a flying kick at her head. Buffy dodged it, took a step back, and sent a roundhouse kick into Faith’s stomach in return.

‘Oof.’

Faith grabbed her stomach and moaned. Buffy approached the girl who was now bent over double on the mat, holding her stomach. ‘Sorry Faith, I didn’t mean…’ Buffy put her hand on Faith’s shoulder.

God, a touch.

‘Five by five, B…..’ came the reply, along with a grab of Buffy’s ankle, and a quick jerk. Buffy fell, sprawling, beside Faith.

‘Gotcha. Fuck, I love fighting.’

Buffy gave her a look.

‘Aw, sorry B….I didn’t think you’d fall for it….must be all that blond hair.’

‘Are you mocking me, Faith?’

Faith turned, straddled Buffy, propping her hands and knees on either side of Buffy’s body.

‘Sure am, B. You wanna do something about it?’

Why did Faith do this? Why was she so damn…..sexual all the time? It made Buffy embarrassed.

‘Not really. I’ve heard plenty of blonde jokes from Xander. Yours are pretty unoriginal.’

Faith stood, bored already, allowing Buffy to sit up.

Completely offhand: ‘You coming to the Bronze tonight, B?’

Buffy thought about it. Music. Alcohol. Dancing. Faith.

‘Yeah, sure. See you there round nine.’

‘Later, B.’

Buffy stood up. She and Faith had moved out the equipment from the training room, leaving it bare for them to go a few rounds whenever they wanted to. It felt good fighting Faith, even if the physical contact they experienced was not perhaps the contact Buffy’s body was yearning for. Fighting was what Buffy was used to, what was comfortable for her. Maybe that’s what came from being a slayer, a gradual dependency on kicking a few asses. But fighting Faith, despite the adrenalin it brought to Buffy’s system, did not satisfy her, although she wished it would. The thought of actually liking another girl was new to her. She had always gone for the boys, and their strong, comforting presence. Boys like Angel. Not girls like Faith. At first, Buffy had prayed that the attraction she felt towards Faith was just part of their slayer bond, something magnetic, a mental link that had nothing to do with sex, or any kind of physical attraction. Maybe there was still something in that, but Buffy had her doubts.

She walked out of the training room to make herself a coffee, sighing in complete exasperation.

*****

Faith strolled out of the apartment. And that’s what Faith did, she never walked, she strolled. Or strutted, of course. She knew Buffy felt weird around her. This amused Faith, and she played to it whenever she could. Maybe one day she’d really freak her out. Maybe one day she’d kiss her. Faith was always pushing buttons, and Buffy’s apparent homophobia was a superficial, yet simple, button to push. Faith liked the other slayer, no doubts about that, and Buffy’s complete acceptance of Faith’s rogue personality into her life was something Faith would be forever grateful for. Despite this, Faith liked to get kicks out of the blond, who in so many ways appeared her complete opposite. It made her laugh. And these days, Faith thought as she entered her dirty little motel room, she needed to laugh.

*****

The Bronze was full that night, as it always was on a Friday. Buffy was seated at a table close to the bar with Willow, Cordelia and Xander. Buffy was drinking rum and coke, and had drowned one or two very quickly. Drinking was what she needed tonight, she didn’t think she could stand seeing Faith lap dancing with another random ‘beefstick’, as she liked to call them.

‘Slow down, girl,’ said Cordelia, who had already thrown back a few beers and was sitting comfortably on Xander’s lap.

Willow threw back her drink. ‘Is Faith coming tonight?’

Immediately, she wished she hadn’t asked. She didn’t like talking about Faith in front of Buffy, it made her feel weird and sorta tense, for no good reason. Buffy’s eyes met hers.

‘Yeah, she said she was coming. She must be held up or something. But who cares?’ Buffy looked towards Willow’s empty glass. 'You want a refill, Will?’

‘Who cares?’

The question came from behind Buffy. Spinning around, the blond slayer came face to face with a entity wearing tight black leather pants and a very low top. Her raven hair fell past her shoulders and her eyes were outlined in dark black, letting the pupils bore into Buffy’s. Her lips were a part of her that had always driven Buffy mad, and tonight they were painted in a dark red, and as Buffy saw her now they parted slightly, revealing just a hint of white teeth.

‘I resent that remark, B.’

Faith sat down in the chair next to Buffy.

‘But I know you can’t help but love me, so I’m not pissed.’

Faith looked at Buffy’s slightly vacant stare.

‘Although you seem to be. How much has she been drinking, Red?’

Willow rolled her eyes. ‘Not that much, just a couple of rum and cokes.’

‘Or ten,’ Xander remarked. ‘Let’s go dance, Cordy, my feet are itching.’

Buffy stared at Faith. She was a little drunk to tell the truth, and Faith’s complete sexiness made her feel annoyed. ‘Why are you late?’

‘Well you know, B, I always like a good slay before a good dance.’

Buffy scowled.

‘You’re nice and dressed up. Looking to score tonight?’

Willow shrank back in her seat slightly. Here we go.

Faith’s eyes slowly went from watching Xander trying to do some sort of mixture of the macarena and the birdy dance to Buffy’s accusing stare.

‘I’m always nice and dressed up, B. You know that. Maybe you should try it once in a while to, instead of wearing your usual cheerleading pastels.’

This made Buffy pissed off. ‘Cheerleading? Can you honestly imagine me as a cheerleader? I do something far more original, Faith, and that’s slaying ugly vamps. Now siddown, you’re causing some of the guys around here to drool.’

Faith sat down, smirking. Buffy was drunk.

‘So who are you gonna dance with, Faith? Who’s the lucky guy? Maybe the blond jock over there? He’s started to eye you up.’

‘Come on, B. You know he’s not my type. That Brad Pitt lookalike over there, now he’s more my style.’

Faith chugged her drink and stared at Buffy.

Buffy was still fuming. ‘Go and dance with him then. I’ll take Mr blond jock.’

‘Fine,’ replied Faith.

The girls both stood and moved onto the dance floor, leaving Willow by herself and extremely confused.

She wished Tara were there.

Buffy moved towards the guy.

‘Hi.’

‘Hey there.’

‘You wanna dance?’

Buffy took the jock’s hand and moved him closer to the loudspeakers. Faith was already beside her, swaying to the music, her guy holding her by her hips. She glanced over at Buffy.

‘Enjoying yourself?’

‘Having the time of my life.’

Mr Jock moved his hands across Buffy’s back, pulling her closer. She smiled and looked over to see if Faith was watching.

But Faith didn’t seem to care. Her guy was now behind her, his arms across her waist. She moved down the length of his body and back again.

	I’m telling you now boy, put your eyes on me
	If you call now boy, I’ll throw my heart in free
	I can love you in one million ways
	If you don’t like it, send it back in thirty days

Faith danced as if she was born to the music. She swayed perfectly in time, looking so sexy that Buffy couldn’t bear to look. The guy holding her around her waist had a look on his face indicating he had died and gone to heaven.

Meanwhile, Mr Jock had slowly moved his hands down to Buffy’s backside and was breathing on her neck. ‘You like this song?’ He asked. ‘Yeah, sure,’ Buffy replied. She felt sorry for the guy she was using so blatantly, but she was going to hold onto him until Faith removed her guy’s cheek from her own.

Faith glanced over at Buffy and inadvertently locked eyes with her. She gave Buffy a wink and then her guy’s lips were on her collarbone, slowly moving up her neck.

Buffy continued to watch as a new song started, and as Faith’s lips met her guy’s in a kiss.

	Take me down, 6 underground
	The ground beneath your feet
	Laid out low, nothing to go
	Nowhere a way to meet
	I’ve got a head full of drought, down here
	So far off losing out, round here
	Overground, watch this space
	I’m open, to fall from grace

Faith’s tilted her head to the side and deepened the kiss.

That was enough for Buffy. She apologised to Mr Jock, and ran off the dance floor, bumping into Faith on the way.

‘Hey! B, where are you going?’

Buffy didn’t know exactly, but she knew she had to get some fresh air. Willow met her half way to the door.

‘Hey Will….’ Buffy was breathless. ‘I’m heading off.’

‘Why?’ Willow demanded.

Buffy glanced over her shoulder and saw Faith walking towards her.

‘Just cos. I’ll talk to you later.’

She pushed past Willow and stepped into the night air.

*****

Faith was shaking Willow. ‘Why did she leave?’

‘I-I don’t know, she just sorta seemed to be all breathless and walked out, like she was angry or something, and I couldn’t stop her, cos she’s kinda drunk anyway, and when Buffy’s drunk and angry it’s impossible to stop her, it’s like trying to stop a runaway train, because she uses that slayer strength of hers to push people out of the way, and……’

Faith let go of Willow and rolled her eyes. ‘Look, I’m gonna go after her, so are you ok here by yourself?'’

‘Yeah, sure…I’m not exactly by myself…’

Willow motioned to Xander and Cordelia who were still wildly dancing, Cordelia telling Xander off for eyeing up the redhead in the corner.

‘See ya Red….’

But Faith was already out the door before Willow could reply.

*****

It was cold outside. Faith was freezing in her tank top, and wished she had been smart and bought a jacket. She had no idea where to start looking for Buffy. As she walked along the side of the road, she thought about what could possibly be wrong with her. Maybe she hadn’t liked the idea of being so close to another guy so soon after her break-up with Angel. Maybe she felt pressured into dancing because of Faith’s own advances on the beefstick. Ha. She sounded like an agony aunt. But maybe it was something simpler, like she had gotten too drunk and wanted to go back to her apartment and lie down. Faith smiled at the thought of B suddenly thinking she was going to throw up and running out of the club. She always looked very cute when she was panicking.

*****

In truth, Buffy did feel like she was going to throw up, but not from the effects of the alcohol. She was back in her apartment, lying on her bed with her face buried in her pillow. She hated Faith. She hated Faith. She hated Faith. She hated Faith because she knew deep down that she loved her. This was the first time Buffy had ever admitted it to herself. She loved Faith. She loved Faith’s careless attitude, her reckless attitude, even if it got her in trouble most of the time. She loved the fact that Faith was in trouble most of the time. She loved the way Faith looked, the way she dressed, the way she always spoke and acted with such a pure confidence in herself. She loved the way Faith fought, she loved the way Faith thought. She loved Faith’s soul.

God.

Buffy paused her thoughts, sighed and sat up. Despite what she felt for Faith, she couldn’t behave like this every time she saw her with somebody else. After all, unrequited love was commonplace. She just wished that it didn’t have to be that way for her.

A knock at the door.

‘B?’

Speak of the devil, Buffy said quietly to herself.

‘It’s unlocked.’

Faith opened the door and walked into the apartment. Buffy’s apartment was sparsely furnished, but what furniture she did have was classy, according to Buffy’s very unique taste. Faith flopped down on one of the couches kicking off her boots.

‘So why’d you leave, B?’ Faith called out.

‘I was tired.’

Faith grinned. ‘Uh huh, and I’m Jerry Springer. You weren’t tired, you were drunk. You’re still drunk.’

There was a pause. Faith heard Buffy’s footsteps approaching.

‘I’m not drunk, Faith.’

Buffy sat down on the coffee table in front of the couch Faith was sprawled across.

‘So what’s your problem?’

‘Nothing. I already told you, I was tired.’

Faith rolled her eyes. ‘I don’t dig it, B. You were fine before. Are you pissed off about something?’

Buffy played with a ring on her finger, not looking Faith in the eyes. She wanted to tell her, but knew she never would. ‘I’m not pissed off, Faith. I was just tired, and you seemed to be getting on fine with that guy. I just didn’t feel like dancing any more. Is Will mad that I left?’

‘Will’s fine. She had Xander and Cordy to laugh at.’

‘Good.’

There was an uncomfortable pause between them.

Faith rolled from her lying position and sat up. She reached out and tilted Buffy’s chin upwards, so she was looking Faith in the eye.

‘B, you’d tell me if there was something wrong, wouldn’t you? You know, slayer bond and all that.’

Buffy blushed and removed Faith’s hand.

‘Don’t, Faith.’

'Don’t what?’

‘Don’t…..be affectionate towards me.’

Faith was slightly taken aback. ‘Huh?’

‘It….it makes me uncomfortable.’

Faith stared at Buffy. Faith had never thought of herself as an affectionate person. It wasn’t her style. ‘What the hell are you talking about?’

Buffy directed her eyes back to her ring.

‘Maybe it’s because I remember how we used to be….when we fought. When we hated each other. When I…..with the knife……’

Faith cringed. She hated it whenever Buffy brought up that topic.

‘B, that’s in the past. You know that. It’s behind us. You shouldn’t feel strange when I… when I’m affectionate or whatever. Not that I am…..much.’

When Buffy looked up at Faith this time, she had tears in her eyes.

‘Faith, I can’t do this anymore.’

Faith was shocked. She had no idea what Buffy was talking about, what she was feeling.

‘Do what, B? What’s your problem?’

Faith stood up and sat down next to Buffy on the coffee table. She tentatively put an arm around Buffy’s shoulders.

Buffy looked at her.

‘I can’t….’

Buffy's heart was pounding. She couldn’t say it.

‘Faith, I…..’

Faith gave Buffy a puzzled look. She reached up and wiped away Buffy’s tears with the back of her hand.

‘B?’

Faith stared into Buffy, and suddenly saw something in her eyes that she had never noticed before. The realisation that Buffy might have feelings for her had never crossed her mind, but she wished it had. If it had, they could have avoided all this bullshit.

Faith tenderly placed her hand on the side of Buffy’s face.

‘Buffy.’

Faith moved in, and their lips touched.

They kissed for about three seconds, until Faith broke it and moved her head back.

‘Don’t be afraid of it, B.’

These were the best words Buffy had ever heard, and suddenly all that was in her world were Faith’s dark, liquid eyes. She leaned in and kissed Faith, their tongues moving against each other in slow, sensuous rhythms, as if they had been born to do it.

...continued in Smile...