More Like a River
by Mackenzie Anderson
Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own Faith or Buffy... although I wish I did... (who wouldn't?) and I don't own the song lyrics. Although they're prrrreeeeetttyyyyy!
Author's Notes: Okay, okay, I promised three parts, but I think I want a fourth... slowly building... and I'm enjoying my songfics so it could be more... Yell if you want but I'm having fun so there! I still like angst... you people are making me write happy fic... *grumbles* BTW thanks for the feedback on the previous parts...Sorry if I didn't respond to some of it. Hope you're enjoying this little miniseries...

	"There’s a motel in Texas
	Hard bed under wide blue sky
	I had a dream there
	But morning came too soon"

"So, we're here."

"Yep."

We stare at each other, and I'm struck by how innocent, how hopeful you look.

We came to this place to get away, and you've been acting strange...

This isn't my Faith... but... I don't mind.

"How are you feeling?"

"Five by five."

You flash me that lopsided grin, and I'm brought back to the moment we first met. I still remember it, and ...

It ended too quickly.

	"I rolled over
	I said it out loud
	I said give me one moment
	Just one more moment
	To finish this dream"

I watch you as the look crosses your face. You were happy for a moment, then just got so wistful... And I can't help but wonder why.

One of these days I'll explain five by five to you.

I was going to, you know.

Did you ever realize how much you meant... mean to me?

You were like this goddess to me-I saw you and I thought....'wow.'

It was like... a fantasy, a dream come true.

And then it ended before I was ready for it to.

	"I wanna be
	More like a river
	And less like a wall
	Not try to hold back these feelings at all
	Cause when I miss you
	When I’m dying to kiss you
	I need to let that flow
	More like a river"

Why did I wait so long? Why did I let things get so out of control? I could have stopped it, and I didn't.

Because I was afraid.

I loved you, Faith.

I love a girl, and it scares the hell out of me.

So I held back.

I shouldn't have.

	"There’s a house in the mountains
	Filled with bits of me and you
	I had a dream there
	But morning came too soon
	I’ve been holding on
	It’s been holding me back
	I don’t want to give in
	I know what you’d say to me
	Finish this dream"

I always told you that you should do whatever you want-"want, take, have" remember? Of course, you also remember where that got us.

But still. I used to know this girl-she was so great, and she tried to help me.

She told me I could be whoever I wanted to be.

I loved her, and she rejected me too.

It wasn't love though...

Love is what I feel for you.

And you know what?

I say it aloud.

"I'm not going to give up this time."

I grab you, kissing you urgently before you can question me.

	"Can I be
	More like a river
	And less like a wall
	Not try to hold back these feelings at all
	Cause when I miss you
	When I’m dying to kiss you
	I need to let that flow
	More like a river"

Why am I keeping myself from responding?  It's just the two of us now.
The two slayers...
Just like it's meant to be.
You're kissing me, and it's amazing, and I want to respond so badly.
So I do. 

	"Cause in the morning
	There are kids and dogs
	And bills and sunlight"

Yeah, we'll have to deal with it eventually.  
Right now it feels so perfect, so right, and you fit so well in my arms.
I hold you tightly as the kiss deepens, and I know...
It's going to be hell.
But we can do this.
Together...

	"And a new day
	And a new day"

"I love you."
You pause, and rest against me, our foreheads touching as you slowly smile.
And I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
"I love you too."
Forever...

	"And another new day...without you"

Would kill me, I silently add.  
I'll always love you, Buffy Summers.

...continued in Desperate Cries...