The Last Chance
by Nikita
Rating: R
Disclaimer: The characters all belong to the great and wonderful Joss.
Spoilers: End Season 5.
Author's Notes: <dream>. I'd like something like this to happen in S6.
Feedback: Please do!
She knew before anyone told her.
She knew before she was informed she was being released.
She knew before Angel came and met her outside the gates of the prison.
She knew before she walked into the hotel and saw the looks on Cordelia and Wesley's faces.
She knew Buffy Summers was dead.
And she knew what she was going to do.
Wesley had a large library. Faith sighed. This was going to take a long time.
Nice of Wes to let her use it though, she'd said she just wanted to read, clear her head a bit, but it was a lie. Faith was looking for something in particular. She could have asked Angel, but she didn't think he would have told her. Faith didn't want the vampire to know what she was planning and she figured he'd work it out pretty quickly. She read and searched for days, slowly making amends with the guys, helping to keep Angel's guilt from eating him alive. She knew she would have been the same if it hadn't been for the calm that came with her decision.
And then she saw the book she wanted. The Powers That Be.
When Angel woke he came downstairs to find Cordelia and Wesley waiting for him, a note on the table.
"It's for you." Wesley pointed. "From Faith."
Angel took it and began to read.
"What's it say?" Cordelia asked, looking over his shoulder.
"Angel,
I'm sorry to go without saying goodbye, I hope you don't think I'm not thankful for all you've done for me. I am. No one ever did as much for me my whole life.
There's something I need to do though, something that needs to be finished, and I thought you'd try to talk me out of it. I think you'll understand when you see her again.
You're like my big brother dead boy, and I love you. Cordy and Wes too.
Yours always, Faith."
Angel sat down. "I don't think she's coming back." He said.
Faith took a deep breath and entered the room. The two golden figures in front of her eyed her distastefully.
"Lower being." The male said. "What do you want?"
"I think you know."
"You are the Slayer." The female nodded. "You look for the other?"
Faith nodded back.
The male shrugged. "Dead."
"I know that." Faith replied. The two figures looked at her questioningly. Faith continued. "I know you can bring her back. You brought Angel back."
The female smiled. "It was not his time. He had yet to complete his redemption. We can't do that for just anybody."
Faith nodded. "I get that. But Buffy's the Slayer. People need her. You need her."
The male shook his head. "You are the Slayer. Go now."
Faith stood firm. "You brought Angel. I know you can do it." She took a deep breath. "I'm offering you a trade."
The female shook her head. "You would give your life for hers?"
Faith nodded.
"Why?" The two figures asked.
Faith shrugged. "I love her."
The female stared at her for a moment.
Faith sighed. "There must be something you can do. You're The powers That Be. Be resourceful."
The two figures whispered for a while.
"It takes much power to bring her soul back." The male said. Faith nodded. "You will die before she lives again. Can you accept this pain?"
Faith breathed deeply. She looked up at them. "It's nothing compared to living without her."
The female smiled briefly. "Then here's what you must do...."
As Faith entered Sunnydale's largest cemetary, she recalled the hours spent there with Buffy. Talking, laughing, slaying. They had good times, Faith smiled. She found Buffy's grave and started digging. She had learned to live with her guilt only because she thought that some day she would have the chance to make it up to her. With Buffy dead, she knew this was the last chance she would have.
Silently thanking whoever was responsible for slayer strength, Faith pried off the coffin lid and lifted Buffy's body out and onto the ground. She looked over the body, The Powers That Be were clearly at work here. Buffy was intact. She carried her over to the car and drove to the Summers house. Making sure no one was home, she broke open the door and carried Buffy up to her bed. She lay her out there and lit candles around her.
She pushed away the fear that threatened to engulf her. She has made this decision as soon as she felt Buffy leave this world. She wasn't backing out now. She was doing this for the girl she loved. The girl she had never told. This would tell her what she could never say.
The clock read seven and a half minutes to midnight. Not long now. She thought, lying down beside Buffy. She took her final chance to look over the blonde slayer, transfixed by her beauty as always. She smiled at the blonde, looking more asleep than dead. As the clock ticked down she kissed her lips once, softly, and felt the fear leave her. " I love you." She whispered as the clock struck midnight and the darkness surrounded her.
<"Don't you ever think of changing the colour?" Buffy grinned, staring at the white walls. "God," She murmured. "Remember the last time we were here?"
Faith nodded. "This is your head though B. You're the one who chose the white."
"I guess it's kind of appropriate." She smiled.
Faith nodded again. "I'm sure I'm not supposed to be here you know." She frowned.
Buffy pulled Faith towards her. "I wish you were coming back. I wish-" Buffy was cut off by Faith's lips on hers.
They kissed, forgiving, regretting, thanking, hoping. Finally, Faith pulled back. Taking her hand, she wiped Buffy's tears away.
"Are you ready to go?" she asked.
Buffy blinked back tears. She smiled through them. "You're not there." She gulped. "I always thought we'd see each other again. Make up for lost time...."
Faith smiled. "I'll always be there." She said, as the room began to fade. >
When the blonde slayer finally awoke, she embraced the motionless body beside her. Tears fell onto the raven hair as she cried. The dark slayer's last words ringing in her ears.
"Always...."
Buffy drifted in and out of consciousness, fear and grief refusing to let her go. The sun rose as usual, the wind blew through the open window as it did every day, but the world had changed. A slayer had died, and a slayer had been reborn.
Buffy Summers was alive.
And Faith had died for her.
The day had turned back into night when Buffy's tears finally slowed and she felt able to move. She stood on shaky legs and closed the window. Looking at the body on the bed, a wave of pain passed through her. She rolled it over and brushed the dark hair out of the way. She felt tears rise once more and thanked God that the dark slayer's eyes were closed. She gulped, remembering those eyes, so dark, so alive. Every glance Faith had ever given Buffy flowed through the blonde's mind. Panic washed over her. The presence of the body was overwhelming. She gathered it in her arms and went downstairs, out the door and into her mother's car.
Buffy's grave wasn't hard to dig up again, the soil was still soft and Faith had neglected to put the lid back on the coffin properly. Buffy put Faith's body in it, and let a few last tears fall on the dark slayer. Then she put the earth back and walked out and towards the magic shop.
A very shocked Giles opened the door.
"BUFFY!" He shouted, gathering her in his arms. "Buffy...." Tears of joy fell from his eyes as she hugged him back. A rush of excitement passed through the house as the Scooby gang ran to the door, hugging her and crying.
"Hey." Smiled Buffy, catching Dawn in her arms.
They led her in. "What happened?!" Willow asked, refusing to let go of the slayer. "How did this- I mean, Buffy! Thank God."
Buffy shrugged.
"C'mon, Buff!" Xander said. "How the Hell did you get back here?"
"I don't know." Buffy replied.
"The Powers That Be?" He asked.
"Look Xander, I don't remember, OK?" Buffy snapped.
"OK, sorry."
Buffy sighed, "No, I'm sorry, it's weird, you know?"
Xander nodded, smiling. "We thought we'd lost you Buffy. I'm just so glad...."
Buffy nodded. "I just want to get back to everything, make it all normal again. Just forget about this."
Giles nodded. "It must have been a traumatic experience." He agreed. "Maybe it's best if we leave investigating it for now."
"Leave it all together." Buffy said. "I'm just grateful to be here. I don't want to tempt fate."
"If that's what you want." He said.
Buffy smiled. "It is. Look, I'm beat. I'll catch up with you guys tomorrow."
Dawn looked at her sister. "Do you want to go home?"
Buffy nodded. "Dawn, I think I need to be on my own tonight." She looked at Willow. "Can you take her?"
Willow hesitated. "Well, yeah, but do you really think you should be alone?"
"I need the time." She smiled at her sister's worried expression. "Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere. I'll see you tomorrow."
Buffy lay in the darkness, the grave like silence was suffocating. She tried in vain to sleep, but the guilt kept entering her mind. "Go away." She muttered. "It was her choice. I don't owe her anything." She rolled over into a ball, pulling her legs to her chest. Images repeated themselves in her mind. A knife. Blood. Prison. And the dark slayer. Tears came unbidden once more as a graveyard came to her mind.
"Go away." The blonde whispered over and over until, at last, sleep overcame her.
"I'm worried." Willow said the next day. Giles cleaned his glasses, nodding. "There has to be a reason for this. I mean, she's back. Why?"
"I don't know." Giles sighed. "I'm sure The Powers That Be have a hand in this. I really don't see any other way."
"I think Buffy knows." Willow continued. "I think there's something she's not telling us."
"I told you before." Buffy said, walking into the magic shop. "I don't remember."
Giles placed a hand on the slayer's shoulder. "I understand you not wanting to talk about it Buffy-"
"No you don't! You don't understand anything!"
"Buffy," He said again, soothingly. "Don't you want to know why you've been brought back?"
Buffy shook her head. "Can't we just accept it? Be happy?"
"Buffy...." Dawn whispered. "We're just worried about you."
Buffy smiled. "There's nothing to worry about. Honestly."
"I think if you talk about it-" Willow tried.
"I-don't-want-to. OK?"
Willow sighed and nodded. "Fine."
"It's getting late. I'm going to patrol. Dawn-"
"I'm staying with Willow tonight." She cut Buffy off. "It's OK."
Buffy nodded. "I'm sorry, it's just-"
"It's OK."
Buffy nodded again. "OK. I'll be back in a few hours."
As Buffy walked out the shop, Willow whispered to Giles "I have an idea."
"Angel?"
"Yes. He knows something about The PTB."
"Good idea." Giles agreed. "Do you want to call him?"
Willow was already dialling the number.
Angel hung up and turned to Cordelia. "I'm going to Sunnydale."
"What happened?"
"Buffy's back, and I think I know why."
"Faith?" Cordelia gasped.
Angel nodded. "Can you hold the fort?"
Buffy beat the fifth vampire until he stopped moving, then she rammed the stake home. "That's how you like it, isn't it Faith?" She whispered. Another vampire came at her and she lashed out again. She felt indestructible, taking her rage and pain out on the undead. "That's how you always did it." She said as she broke the vampire's nose. She smashed her fist into him again. "Well?" She shouted. "Beat the crap out of them before finishing them off?!" She yelled, looking for more flesh to take her anger out on. "You left me again!"
"Where is she?" Angel asked, rushing towards the door and smacking into the unseen barrier.
"Um, come in." Giles said quietly.
"Thanks."
"She's patrolling. I gather you have some kind of explanation?"
Angel threw Faith's note into the middle of the table.
Xander picked it up and his mouth fell open. "You think...."
Willow pulled it out of his hand and read it out loud.
"My God." Giles said.
Angel nodded. "I think Faith went to the Powers That Be."
"But where is she?" Willow gasped. "Do you think Buffy knows?"
"Do I know what?" Buffy asked, walking in. She stopped short. "Angel."
"Hi Buffy." He said. "Sit down."
Buffy did as she was told, as she feared her legs wouldn't hold her.
"Do you want to tell us something?" He asked gently. "About Faith?"
Buffy shook her head. "I can't, I mean, no...."
"Buffy," Willow said. "Please. Do you know where she is?"
The image of Faith cold in a grave wouldn't leave her mind. She fought back tears and shook her head.
Willow put her arm around her. "Buffy. We're here for you. We'll always be here."
At her last words, Buffy broke down. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry...."
"It's OK. Tell us what happened." Willow held her close.
"I don't really remember....I fell...." She whispered. "Then I had this dream....Faith....and I woke up and she was next to me. She was dead."
"Where is she now?" Angel asked quietly.
"Grave. My grave. Oh God...."
"Why didn't you say anything?" Willow asked her friend.
"I don't know. I felt so bad. After everything that happened, she died for me. She died for me!" Buffy sobbed. "I killed her again...."
"Again?" Willow asked. "Oh." She remembered Graduation Day.
Buffy shook her head, and as if she read the red head's thoughts said "I know she didn't die, but I wanted her to. I wanted her dead, Will." She put her head in her hands. "And not just then. Everytime she pushed me out....I wanted to help her, wanted to be close to her and she wouldn't let me and it just hurt so much...."
"Buffy." Angel said, crouching next to her. "You need to forgive yourself."
Buffy shook her head. "It hurt to see her....I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault." He said. "She's forgiven you."
"I didn't save her, Angel." She looked up at him. "I didn't try hard enough, and now she's gone and I'll never be able to tell her that-"
"What?"
Buffy frowned. "That I love her."
Although the force of that hit him like a fist, Angel took her in his arms. "They're just words Buffy. She knows."
Buffy lay on the makeshift bed in the darkness, the Scoobie's sounds of life in the next room. "You said you'd never leave me." She whispered. "Faith?"
"I'm here B."
Buffy sat bolt upright. "Huh?"
"I told you I'd be here, and I will, for as long as you need me." The dark slayer whispered, walking over to the bed.
The blonde pulled her close. "I need you. Faith, I'm sorry...." She said, her inexhaustible tears falling again.
"It's OK, B. It's behind us."
"Faith....I love you." Buffy said, looking into her eyes.
The dark slayer nodded. "I know. I love you too."
"Stay with me...."
Faith nodded. "Always."
"Buffy?" Angel walked into the room and looked around. "Who are you talking to?"
The word "Faith" almost escaped Buffy's lips, but she pulled it back. She shook her head.
"OK. Call if you need anything."
Buffy smiled and he shut the door. She lay back and felt Faith wrap her arms around her. "I thought this was real."
Faith smiled. "I love you. Is that real enough?"
"How's she doing?" Angel asked a few weeks later.
"OK, I think." Willow said. "Dawn's moved back in with her and she seems happy."
"Nothing strange then?"
"No. I'll call you if anything happens."
"OK. Thanks Willow. Bye."
"Bye." Willow hung up the phone.
Tara looked at her girlfriend gently. "You're lying."
Willow shook her head. "No I'm not!"
"Really?" Tara smiled. Willow melted.
"I don't know, I think she might not be coping as well as she's saying."
"Why?"
"I heard her talking the other day. Actually, not just the other day. I've been hearing her talk since she came back."
Tara raised an eyebrow questioningly.
"Oh right!" Willow said, as she noticed her girlfriend's confusion. "There was no one there."
"Oh. That sounds a bit.... strange?"
Willow nodded. "I think she's talking to Faith."
"She thinks Faith's there?"
Willow sighed and lay back in Tara's arms. "I don't know." She shrugged. "I guess it's harmless enough."
"Why couldn't we have been this close when you were alive?" Buffy asked gently as the two slayers strolled hand in hand.
Faith smiled. "At least we had the chance to work it all out."
Buffy nodded. "That's the last one." She said, pointing at the Cemetery across the street. They walked over and Buffy took out her stake. Faith leaned against a head stone as Buffy made quick work of a few vamps.
"Quiet tonight." Faith noted too soon, as four vampires descended on the blonde slayer at once. Buffy staked the first easily and threw a stake to Faith. "Take that one!" She shouted as she concentrated on the other two.
"B!" Faith shouted as the stake flew through her and the third vampire jumped on Buffy from behind, knocking her to the ground. Buffy struggled underneath them. Grabbing a branch, she smacked one on the head and staked him, but not before her left arm was snapped by another. Fighting off nausea, she kicked out and sent him flying, braking his neck. Staking the last she fell to the ground, clutching her arm. Faith ran over.
"B! Are you OK?"
Buffy nodded. "I forgot...."
Faith felt her cheeks become wet with tears. "I put you in danger B."
Buffy shook her head. "No! It was my fault."
Faith stroked her hair gently. "You need to get back to your life. Reality."
"Don't you dare leave me here."
"I'm sorry B. I can't see you get hurt. I can't help you, and you're starting to rely on me."
"Don't go!"
But she had.
"Buffy? Are you OK?" Giles asked the next day, seeing her arm in a cast.
She nodded. The gang looked at her as she took a deep breath. "Faith didn't help."
"Huh?" Xander asked.
"I thought Faith would help me, and so I let my guard down."
Giles looked about to say something, and then stopped. He sat down. "Start from the beginning."
"Faith. She's here."
"No, Buffy." Willow said gently, glancing at Tara. "She's gone."
Buffy shook her head. "I feel her Willow, all the time. She's here."
"Buffy, it's natural to think that after losing someone, especially with the year you've had."
"I'm not imagining it, Giles. She hasn't gone anywhere."
"Why didn't you say anything before?" Xander asked.
Buffy blushed. "I wanted to keep her to myself, we had so much to work out."
"Could that be true?" Willow asked Giles. "Could Faith be a ghost?"
"Well, we are on a Hellmouth. But it doesn't make sense, she gave up her life willingly. She should be at peace. Unless...."
"What?" They asked in unison.
"You said you had things to work out. Maybe you're keeping her here, Buffy. In limbo."
Buffy sat back. "Great. I'm still hurting her."
"Maybe you just have to let her go."
"I can't." Buffy shook her head, tears forming. "I can't lose her again."
"Buffy, I think you have to. Especially if things like this are happening." He said, pointing to her arm. "You can't rely on a ghost."
"That's what she said."
"Really?"
"She left last night, disappeared. Maybe she's gone for good."
Giles shook his head. "I don't think so. Not if you're still holding on to her."
Buffy nodded. "Maybe." She stood up.
"Where are you going?" Giles asked.
"I need to do something." She said, walking out.
Willow stared after the slayer. "Do you really think Faith is still here?" She asked Giles.
He sighed. "It doesn't matter. It only matters what Buffy believes."
Buffy sat at Faith's grave and wept. "How can I let you go?" She whispered. "I need you, Faith. I always did."
The dark slayer's familiar arms wrapped around her shoulders from behind. "I've waited for you all my life. It's only gonna be, what, another fifty years?" She smiled. "We can't go on like this B. You need to start living again."
Buffy held onto her tightly. "Don't leave."
"B, let go." Faith said gently.
"I can't...."
"Yes you can. Don't let me down, B."
"I love you."
"I love you too." She paused. "Do you believe me?"
Buffy nodded slowly.
"Then there's nothing to be scared of." Faith whispered.
Buffy let her hands fall to her sides. "Goodbye Faith."
Buffy felt the dark slayer's presence fade. She turned around and was left staring into darkness. The blonde slayer heard the quiet words "I love you", as the cold air passed through her, and she knew Faith had gone.
But she believed.
And not because she needed to.
She believed because she'd accepted what she'd always tried to deny.
The two slayers were one, linked even beyond death.
And they'd loved each other even before they knew each other's names.