Starting Again
by Nikita
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: The characters belong to the great and powerful
Joss. I'll Be Your Mirror is by The Velvet Underground and I don't
know who Come What May is by, but y'know, credit to whoever
they are.
Author's Notes: Set after "The Gift".
Dedicated: To all the wonderful people who write feedback,
especially those who wanted a happy ending to "The Last
Chance". Hope this makes up for it....
The usually reserved vampire embraced the dark slayer as soon as she walked through the gates of the prison. She grinned, revelling in the first real affection she had ever felt.
"Hey, dead boy." She smiled. "Miss me?"
Angel smiled back and nodded. "Faith, there's someone here who wants to see you."
Faith raised her eyebrows questioningly at him. She turned to where the vampire was looking, and felt the smile fall from her face.
"Buffy."
Faith stepped backwards, away from the blonde, expecting the worst.
"Faith." The blonde nodded. "We need to talk."
Faith looked at Angel for reassurance. He nodded. "It's all right." He said, glancing back and forth between the two. "We'll go back to the hotel, and you two can have some privacy." Hopefully with no fighting, he thought.
"You seem to have made amends here." The blonde said, watching Faith unpack her few possessions.
Faith nodded. "They've been great, came to see me and everything." She sighed. "Even after....y'know."
Buffy snorted. "And I didn't. Guess that makes me the bad guy again."
Faith turned to face her. She shook her head. "Why are you here B?"
Buffy stared at her, unwilling to admit why she had come. Faith crouched down in front of the bed where Buffy was sitting. "If you're here to fight, I'm not interested." The dark slayer said softly. "What do you want from me? An apology? `Cause if I remember correctly, the last time I tried that, you offered to beat me to death." She said, wincing at the memory.
Buffy shook her head. "I don't know, Faith. A lot of stuff has happened." In truth, there were a lot of reasons Buffy was there. The PTB, dying, living. But mostly, for as long as they had known each other, Buffy had always been certain that Faith would be around, in her life. Now she wasn't locked up where Buffy knew she could find her, the blonde slayer had realised that she was terrified she wouldn't see her again. But no way would she admit that right now.
"Want to talk about it?" Faith asked, curious at the blonde's facial expressions, betraying the emotional turmoil going on inside her head.
Buffy shook her head. "I'm not ready yet."
Faith nodded, deciding not to force the issue. She was still in a state of shock due to the fact that Buffy had shown up at all. She made a silent promise to herself that she wouldn't push the blonde slayer away this time.
"I just want to say one thing." She said slowly. Buffy nodded, waiting for her to continue. Faith paused, unsure of how Buffy would react. The blonde waited hesitantly. "Thanks." The brunette said. Buffy looked at her uncomprehendingly. Faith sighed. "For being here. I mean, I'm no good at this stuff." She smiled. "But, no matter what, I got to see you one more time. So, thanks."
Buffy couldn't help but smile. "Why, Faith." She teased, her barriers yielding. "I do believe you're blushing."
Faith grinned back. "I said I wasn't any good at this stuff. Now, I think Angel said something about a bar?"
As the gang sat down at a table and ordered their drinks, the two slayers suddenly realised just what kind of bar this was. A green, horned demon in the shiny jacket wandered over to the table, greeting them like old friends.
He smiled at Buffy and Faith. "Slayers hmm? Angel, you big sweetie, are they both going to sing?"
Both slayers shook their heads violently. "No singing, not here, no way." Buffy said. Faith agreed. "I should have known, dead boy."
Buffy looked at her. "What's going on?"
"Angel sang Barry Manilow." Faith grinned. Buffy laughed.
Angel grinned right back at them. "We've all done it. Now it's your turn."
"You want a reading, you have to sing." Cordelia explained.
Faith grinned at the terrified slayer next to her. She shrugged. "I will if you will."
"I cannot believe I'm doing this." Buffy complained.
"What are you going to sing?" Wesley asked her. Buffy looked at Faith. "I'm not sure yet. I'm going to wait until Ms Bravado has done her's."
Faith got up and blew her a kiss. "Prepare to be amazed."
Faith walked over to the stage and breathed deeply, half listening to the demon announce "The first of two slayers! The lovely FFFaaaaaaaiiiiitttthhhhh!"
She watched the words as they began to roll. Wondering if Buffy would ignore the glaringly obvious message in the words as she usually did with Faith's comments, she began to sing the extremely uncharacteristic song.
"Never knew I could feel like this Like I've never seen the sky before I want to vanish inside your kiss Every day I love you more and more Listen to my heart Can you hear it sing Telling me to give you everything Seasons may change from Winter to Spring But I love you until the end of time Come what may Come what may I will love you until my dying day Suddenly the world Seems such a perfect place Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste It all revolves around you And there's no mountain too high No river too wide Sing out this song And I'll be there by your side Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide But I love you until the end of time Come what may Come what may I will love you until my dying day Come what may Come what may I will love you Suddenly the world Seems such a perfect place Come what may Come what may I will love you until my dying day"
Faith never took her eyes from Buffy's the entire time she was singing. She knew the words by heart, because it was the song she had been singing for Buffy for years.
Buffy was speechless, she never knew the dark slayer could sing. She frowned, it was just one of the many things she had never taken the time to find out. As Faith returned to the table, she was greeted with applause by everyone apart from Buffy, who just stared at her open mouthed.
"Buffy?" Angel said. "Buffy?"
She snapped out of her daze. "Oh, right. Sing. Yeah." She wandered towards the stage, picking the song she would sing. Faith had sung an un-Faith like song, so Buffy decided she would sing an un-Buffy like one. Maybe she was just shocked by the beauty of her, her voice, or just of seeing her again without fighting, but Buffy felt like opening up to Faith. She gazed across the room and hoped she would understand.
"I'll be your mirror Reflect what you are in case you don't know I'll be the wind, the rain and the sunset The light on your door To show that you're home When you think the night has seen your mind Dead inside, you're twisted and unkind Let me stand to show that you are blind Please put down your hands Because I see you I find it hard to believe you don't know the beauty you are But if you don't Let me be your eyes And enter your darkness so you won't be afraid When you think the night has seen your mind Dead inside, you're twisted and unkind Let me stand to show that you are blind Please put down your hands Because I see you I'll be your mirror...."
Buffy walked back to the table, blushing slightly as she received her applause. The Host beckoned the two slayers over to the bar.
"Well darlings, that was fabulous." He grinned. "And now you want your readings." He turned to Faith. "Honey, you're on the right track. You got on this road yourself, and I think you're staying." He turned to Buffy. "As for you, you've been told why you're back already." Faith looked up at Buffy, surprised. The Host continued. "And your destinies?" He looked back and forth between the two. "I think you already know." He clapped his hands together. "Well I'm sorry I couldn't tell you more, but I'm glad I got to hear two such sweet young things sing. Toodles for now." He swept off leaving the two slayers with more unanswered questions than they had come with.
Faith was lying on her bed thinking when she heard a knock at the door. She glanced at her watch, 3am. "Yeah?" She called, sliding on one of Angel's black silk shirts that she had "borrowed" earlier, and a pair of shorts to cover her usual sleeping outfit, which was of course, nothing.
She was surprised as Buffy slid inside. "Did I wake you?" Buffy asked, although she already knew the answer. The slayers needed little sleep, and Buffy could sense Faith's alertness. One of the perks of slayer-connections.
Faith shook her head. "What's up, B?" She asked, sitting down on the bed again.
Buffy walked over. "Can I sit down?"
Faith nodded, wondering what was going on.
Buffy sat. "I loved the song." She said, not sure of where she was intending the conversation to go.
Faith smiled. "I liked your's too. B, Actually, I want to tell you something." Buffy nodded. Faith looked straight at her. "Even if it means you kicking my ass, I'm sorry. For everything. I never meant for any of it to happen."
Buffy searched the dark slayer's eyes for a sign of deceit, and found none. "You know what?" She said. "I came to LA without knowing what I was going to say, or do. But I look at you now, and I see someone that I don't know at all."
Faith said nothing, holding her breath and praying for another chance. Buffy looked at her for a while. She smiled softly. "I think I never knew you. I only saw what I wanted to."
"None of this is your fault B." Faith said gently. "Don't blame yourself for my mistakes."
"I died, Faith." Buffy said, without really knowing why. She just knew she was sick of the secrets.
Faith laughed softly. "I know, B. I knew as soon as it happened. I felt you leave, and I felt you return."
Buffy nodded. "Of course, I never thought about it." She shook her head. "There's a point to this, actually." Buffy frowned. "I thought I was ready to die. I thought there was nothing more I needed to do in this world. It wasn't until the Powers That Be called me to them that I realised."
"What?"
"I hadn't fixed it with you. They told me that I wouldn't be at peace until I had, and so they sent me back, gave me another chance at life."
Faith sat back, shocked. "Wow." Was all she could say.
Buffy nodded. "They were right though. I should have tried to make it up with you a long time ago, but I always kept putting it off.... and now..." Buffy sighed and touched the dark slayer's cheek with her hand. "Now I'm just so scared I'll never see you again."
Faith was taken aback. "I want things to be right with us." She said. "Tell me what to do."
Buffy felt tears rise, "I'm not going to forget what happened, Faith. But I think I can forgive you. I just want to put it behind us, OK?"
"You're amazing...." Faith whispered.
"What can I say?" Buffy smiled. "Being dead kinda put's things in perspective."
Faith pulled her into a hug. "B, I wish I hadn't hurt you, I wish I could go back." She breathed in the blonde slayer's scent. "I'll never hurt you again." She promised, to Buffy and to herself.
"Thank you...."
Buffy leaned into her, loving the feel of silk and skin against her. "Faith....?" She whispered.
"Yeah?"
"I'm gonna sleep here, OK?" She didn't want to let the other slayer go again. Faith nodded, feeling the same way.
They drifted off to sleep holding each other, letting that be enough for now.
Faith woke alone the next day. "Too good to be Goddamn true." She muttered as she washed and pulled on some clothes. She made her way down stairs and found Cordelia standing in the lobby.
"Morning Cordy." She yawned. "Where's everyone?" She asked, meaning Buffy.
"You mean, 'where's Buffy'?" Cordelia smiled.
Faith shrugged. "I guess. Also, where's coffee?" She muttered, walking to the kitchen. Cordelia followed her in.
"Faith," She said suddenly, making the slayer jump. "It's been a while since you and I have really 'talked'."
Faith poured herself a cup of coffee. "Cordy, me and you have never really 'talked'. What?" She asked, noticing the girl's disgusted expression as she added four sugars. "Just cause I'm a slayer doesn't mean I don't need a sugar and caffeine kick."
Cordelia shrugged. "Anyway, what's with you and Buffy?"
"What about us?" Faith said warily.
"So there is an 'us'?" Cordelia grinned.
"Huh? Well yeah. Oh, but no, no!" Faith spat out. "Cordy, in case you haven't noticed, B is possibly the most heterosexual girl on the planet."
"And you?"
Faith smiled. "I'm pretty obvious, right?" She sat down. "I dunno, I don't have a hope."
Cordelia shook her head. "I think you're wrong."
Faith sighed. "What makes you think that?"
Cordelia smiled. "Trust me. When it comes to dating, I know what I'm talking about. She likes you, and not just in a 'oh, we're slayers together' way."
Faith looked skeptical, but Cordelia smiled again. "It's just taken her a while to admit it to herself." She looked at Faith's disbelieving expression. "Trust me." She said again.
Faith sighed and nodded. "Maybe."
Buffy had awoke early, and after spending an hour or so watching Faith sleep, she had decided to go out and clear her head. She was going to walk around the city, but in the end she had spent most of the day in a coffee shop not so far away. Buffy was confused.
She had thought she was prepared for seeing her again, but she had been wrong. Yes, she has come back to make amends, but she had not realised that letting down those few barriers would give way to such a tidal wave of emotions. There had always been something there, she admitted to herself, but there had always been a reason to hold back. Now, there seemed to be no excuse. Holding the brunette through the night had felt so good, so right. Maybe it was the relief that she had not lost her after all, but it had taken so much strength to leave her this morning. Buffy sighed. Really, she never wanted to be apart from her again.
After who knows how many cups of coffee, Buffy decided she would take Faith out for the night, and just talk. The thought of spending a whole evening alone with the dark slayer made her nervous, but happy. It would be nice to have her all to herself for a change. Her eyes just on her. Her hands holding only her. Her lips.... all right, Buffy blushed. Time to go....
Faith was watching TV when Buffy returned. She looked up and grinned. "B!"
"Hey." Buffy smiled. "How's it going?"
"I'm five by five B." Faith said.
Buffy walked over. "Got any plans for tonight?" She asked.
Faith smiled. "Nothing I couldn't cancel...."
"Good. Go find something nice and slutty to wear. We're going out."
"You're going out?" Cordelia mocked hurt. "I've got strawberry margaritas. Frozen." She frowned. "And slushy romance movies. Sure I can't tempt you?" Knowing full well the slayers both had another romance on their minds.
"Sorry Cordy." Buffy grinned. "She's mine tonight."
Cordelia threw Faith an "I told you so" look. Faith scowled and headed up stairs to fulfil Buffy's request.
"Nice place." Faith observed, looking around the restaurant. It was classy, live music, and a dance floor. "Looks great." She finished, meaning Buffy who looked stunning as usual.
"Yeah, great..." Buffy replied, meaning Faith who looked stunning as usual.
The two slayers ate and chatted, succeeding in keeping the conversation light throughout the meal. In the end, Faith brought up the subject they had been avoiding all night.
"So, B." She began. "This is fun."
Buffy smiled. "I wanted to have you to myself for a bit."
Faith nodded. "You know you just have to ask." She purred. Faith was having a dilemma. After Cordelia's comments, she wanted to pounce on the blonde, but she felt it would probably be a bad move.
Buffy smiled. She knew what Faith was thinking. She had always known that the brunette liked her, she just hadn't wanted to deal. She was ready now.
"Faith." Buffy said, placing her hand on the dark slayer's. "Are we all right?"
Faith nodded. "I hope so, B. I'll do anything to make it up to you." She smiled sightly. "But I don't know how I gonna do it."
Buffy looked over to the couples swaying at the end end of the restaurant. "You can start by dancing with me." She whispered.
The two slayers danced to the slow music. Hand in hand, bodies pressed together, they swayed in time with each other. As they danced, the world slid away until it was only them, leaning on each other, holding each other, like it was always mean to be.
Buffy raised her head from Faith's shoulder and wrapped her arms around her neck. Their eyes were locked together, but not with hate or anger anymore. Now they were filled with trust and affection.
"I can't believe this, how lucky I am." Buffy said.
"What? Dancing with me in a big expensive restaurant in LA?"
"I was gonna leave it at 'Dancing with you'."
The dark slayer blushed. "Oh. Me too."
"Faith...." Buffy whispered. "I wanna tell you something, but I'm scared."
Faith smiled at the blonde. "B, there's nothing you can't say to me."
Buffy nodded. "I think I should have said this a long time ago, maybe none of the bad would have happened."
Faith shook her head. "No more blame, OK?"
"OK." She smiled. "I want to say it though." Buffy ran her hand through Faith's dark hair. "I'm in love with you." She whispered.
Faith's heart jumped for joy. "You mean that, B?" She asked, hardly allowing herself to believe it could be true.
Buffy gazed into her deep brown eyes and nodded. "Completely."
Faith traced the blonde slayer's lips with her fingers. "I love you. I always have." Faith smiled. "I don't remember a time when I didn't."
Buffy pulled her close and touched her lips to Faith's. Gentle, slow, loving. Their tongues caressed each other, exploring, massaging, until finally, they pulled away, gasping, filled with desire and love.
"What say we get the check and get outta here?" Faith grinned.
They arrived back at the hotel to find everything quiet. Silently the slayers ascended the staircase, hand in hand until they were outside Faith's room.
"So," Buffy smiled, pushing herself the other slayer. "Are you gonna invite me in?"
Faith smiled and kissed her. "You don't have to...."
"Want to!" Buffy said. "Really, really want to."
Faith took the blonde's hand and opened the door. They both gasped. The room was filled with scented candles, the intoxicating smell drawing them in. The bed was covered in red roses. Faith shook her head. "I think Cordy's been at work."
Buffy raised a questioning eyebrow. Faith smiled. "Remind me to embarrass her in the morning?"
Buffy pushed her down on the bed. "Not thinking about morning now." She purred. "Tonight isn't finished yet...." She whispered into Faith's ear. "Long time away...."
Buffy captured her lips in a smouldering kiss, desire blocking out any coherent thought.
"God, B...." Faith groaned as she felt her hands move under her top and over her breasts. She responded by stripping Buffy's top from her body and snapping off her bra. She gulped as her perfect breasts came into view, and Buffy smiled. "Up, please." She whispered. Faith rose slightly and Buffy pulled her top off too. They kept kissing, their breathing ragged, panting each other's names. They rolled back onto the bed, stripping off their remaining clothing, until they were entirely naked. There was an abundance of flesh on flesh, sweat dripping, hands exploring. Faith straddled Buffy, kissing her way to her breasts. She took one nipple in her mouth and flicked her tongue over it, making Buffy gasp. She bit down and rolled the other in her fingers. Her other hand worked down towards her slick centre. Buffy groaned, her body begging for release of the tension that was building fast. "Please...." she whispered, as Faith teased her with feather light touches, passing over her gently as Buffy arched up to meet them. Faith continued her assault on her breasts until she was crying out with need, then slowly, she trailed her tongue down the blonde slayer's firm body. She paused, gasping as she saw how wet Buffy was. "Look.... so.... good...." she panted, lowering her mouth onto her. Buffy cried out as her tongue entered her, arching off the bed. "Oh God!" She moaned. Faith slid her tongue to her clit, tasting her flavours, her arousal quickening her own. She slipped one finger, slowly into her, causing the blonde to moan her name. "Please...." She whispered again. She slid in another, continuing to work her clit. Buffy's insides started to contract as her orgasm began, breathing raggedly, she thrust into Faith's hand and called out her name.
As Buffy regained consciousness, she found Faith staring at her. "So beautiful...." The dark slayer gasped, stroking her hair. "Never seen anything like it...." Buffy smiled and pulled her into a kiss. "There's something I've wanted to do for a while...." She grinned.
Hours later, Buffy lay in Faith's arms listening to her breathing. "What are you thinking?" She asked softly.
Faith ran her hands over the blonde slayer's back. "I was just thinking that love is a many splendered thing."
Buffy frowned. "Huh?"
Faith shook her head. "Y'know. Love lifts us up where we belong." She smiled.
Buffy looked up at her suspiciously. "Hmm?"
Faith grinned. "After all, all you need is love."
Buffy grinned and smacked her arm.
Faith kissed her gently and became serious. "I was thinking that I'm lucky, I guess." She said. "I can't believe I'm with you."
Buffy smiled at her and nodded. "It feels right."
"Yeah." Faith pulled the blonde tighter. "I dunno if everyone else will get that."
Buffy shrugged. "If Cordy can accept it, I think there's hope for everyone." She kissed her lover again. "But really, they're just gonna have to get used to it. Because I'm not going anywhere."
"I love you, Buffy." Faith said happily.
"I love you too." Buffy grinned. "And I am so not tired...." She said kissing her deeply.