Maybe, Just Maybe
by onyxwaterfall
Rating: R

Disclaimer: Please don't; purely for entertainment, creators of 'Buffy'. None of the characters are mine (so far). However, steal my idea, or 'borrow' without my permission, and I will be the one to sue.
Warnings: Adult situations. Not yet, but knowing me, there will be =)
Note: Around Season 3, before 'Bad Girls,' and just so you know, I'm rough on my viewings of S3 so if I get things wrong please let me know.
Feedback: Always and forever =D

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PROLOGUE

Every time I look into her eyes it's as if she knows exactly what I'm feeling, thinking. This bad-ass chick. It's as if she can see right through me. Except I know that she can't.

I've always wanted to believe that she'd just know what I was feeling, and thinking. I've never found it easy to admit the hard things to people I care about. Especially her. That's why when she looks at me, I like to think that she knows.

The Chosen Two. That's what she calls us. Chosen to kick evil's ass and stake out the bad guy. Hmm. Except I think it's always the aftershock she's waiting for. She kicks butt so she can get that feeling. That 'uh' feeling that she always talks about. That she thinks I get after we get in for a kill. She wonders whether or not it makes that adrenaline pumping through my body trigger that something that will make me want to rip Xander's inside's out…well…not literally.

But I see the look on her face in the after-hours of patrol. She's all about the 'sweating, side-by-side nightly "action"' and it's all about the good 'uhh,' after. And even when she's with me it's implied. I don't know if that's what she thinks I'm all about too. I think she thinks I'm too tightly-wound. Too good to play something like that.

But then there's always the Bronze. The dancing, the drinking…the sweating…more side-by-side action…I wonder if she thinks it's not what I'm about. She thinks I'll say 'no' and catch up with her at training tomorrow.

She doesn't get that I enjoy every single heated moment of it, and how hot it really does get me. She doesn't see it in my eyes. I see it in hers. Because she tells me and I recognise it. That passion, lust…ecstasy…the build up of it and how she lets it all out.

We dance at the Bronze as if there's no one else there. As if it's just us two and the music has consumed our souls and taken us as its play-things. We dance so close that we can't get any closer, and later dismiss it as that 'juiced' feeling from patrol. I can taste her as I inhale, and I can feel her body heat, it makes me even hotter. But it's just dancing.

I wonder so much if Faith knows what it really is, in me, I mean. If she can honestly understand what it is I really feel. Not like after patrolling, that 'juiced' feeling. I wonder if she knows how I feel, at all.

Sure, she knows what I tell her. But what else?

I haven't seen her since training yesterday. And she called me a couple of hours ago asking if I was patrolling tonight and if I wanted to go with her. I said I had a homework assignment. She said blow it off. I said why not.

So now I'm walking along the street, away from my house. My heart is going. Fast. I can't figure out why.

Of course I can.

I get this feeling every time I meet her. I need to admit it already.

She says we'll probably end up bumping into each other whilst getting in a slay. And it'll be the same old 'I'll save your ass and then you'll return the favour a couple of minutes later.'

I'll see the look on her face when she slays that vamp for me, all tough and serious. Then she'll break it up with one of those joke she always makes. It makes me laugh every time.

Except for the part where she talks about how slaying gets her juiced. The bad-ass dark one of us. The sexual fiend who would quite luckily get any guy for lay if she wanted. She could make guys scream for her, and I think the sheer thought of that is what gets her so powerfully 'soaked.' I wonder if she notices how quiet I am every time she talks about this.

Now I'm thinking about what I'm gonna say when I see her. Last time we met was training and god knows how much I love the sparring and the weaponry and the grunting…which I told her I wasn't comfortable with…and how close she always gets to me…and the breathing and the eye contact – 'beg me to go one step further' seems to always be that look in her eyes and god, if she's not thinking that then my mind really is being messed with. What am I thinking?

So yeah, yesterday she managed to literally sweep me off my feet and land me on my back where she sat on top of me and held a 'knife' to my throat. For a moment I saw something in her eyes that told me she wasn't concentrating on the sparring. But I didn't get a chance to say anything before Giles said he was impressed with Faith and that I needed to focus more on the objective – I couldn't even remember what it was. She changed her position too fast for me to realise how in fact it was that she was sitting upon me.

Oh yeah. What to say.

You have no idea how difficult it is trying so hard not to blurt out something when you know how much you really want to. Faith's bugging over how 'juiced' she is, again. Patrolling was a buzz, and she managed to do two at once – vamps…I mean. The look on her face when she – kinda like how she's looking right now. I would imagine right in that point where she's about to climax, where she just lets everything go and the highest intoxication has her. Right where it wants her. And she's looking over at the dance floor.

We're where we usually hang out after patrolling – the Bronze, and she must've only had a couple of drinks so far. I promised myself I would lay off the stuff for tonight. Plus I wasn't feeling so hot about having to make friends with the shiny white ceramic bowl that would swallow the contents of my stomach for the hours after I'd be done here. And also, it tends to be the catalyst in making me blurt out everything that's on my mind.

She taps me lightly on the arm, asking me what's up.

'Nothing, just, thinking, random thoughts, you know me.' I blow it off with a little laugh, and she nods slow. Damn. She's trying to figure me out. I look at her for a second longer than I should have. I'm guessing tearing my eyes away wasn't the right thing to do.

I'm pleading for her to shrug it off, as she always does. And I'm so lucky that this is one of those times when she does. 'Wanna dance?' she asks, looking over at the crowd of moving bodies, inebriated as her, only in a different context. Her body's pulsating from the heat of slaying. They don't know what it's like.

But I do. I share that feeling with her. I feel it now. Only it's not amplified from the intoxication of alcohol. For me, at least.

'Sure, why not,' I say and I don't even have a chance to finish my drink before she pulls me over to the dance floor.

And all at once all those times I'd spent hours thinking about had begun to happen again. She's dancing right up close to me, wanting to get out of me what she'd always wanted to get out of me from every night we'd been here, alone together. After slaying. I wonder if she realised just how 'painfully alone' we were. Not with Will, or Xander. Just us.

I can feel almost every inch of her body pressing fiercely against mine and I'm wishing that it would stop, because it's pushing me to want to do something that I might regret. But I can't ask her to stop. My words are swallowed by my own fear. So I dance, as I always do. I return the favour. And as always, I can feel the body heat. I can smell her scent, I can feel her breath on me…warm…gorgeous, almost like a kiss.

My mind is starting to wonder. I'm thinking what it would be like if she touched me just that little bit more. I would want so much to beg her to go further, but once again my words would not come out – just from sheer anxiety. I'd just let it happen, and it would all be in the eyes, because my words would be shunned from the pressing fear that she wouldn't want to. But I'm still thinking what it would feel like if she slid a hand down the small of my back, down to my thigh, and up under my skirt. And what would happen next. Would it be here?

I'm letting my eyes fall closed, this is too much. I hear that all too familiar.

'You alright, B? Seem fuzzy…' she says as she pulls me over to one side. I sit down on the nearest bar stool.

'Just tired.' That's my best excuse and I'm hoping it'll work. I think she's buying it, cos she's frowning a little, as if she's about to ask me if I wanna go home.

'Wanna go back to my place?'

Crap. It's my heart again. I can't speak because it's currently using all the energy I have, and if I speak…I'll faint. So I try to nod. She's taking my hand.

Well if she isn't still juiced, I am.

'Man, I wish you'd seen the look on that vamp's face when he saw me, I swear he was crapping bricks,' she says, laughing as we walk along the deserted street leading up to her motel.

I nod a little, and smile.

For some reason I expected her to ask me if something was wrong, again. I wasn't speaking. Instead she retrieved her keys and stuck them in the lock of her room. I stepped in after her, the scent of it coming my way immediately. Nothing strong, just her.

I'm not looking at anything in particular, although I can sense her moving around me. She takes off her jacket and I hear it hit the comforter, and she slips her boots off and I hear them clonk on the floor as if she's thrown them off her feet. I hear her sitting on the bed. And a sigh.

'Alright. Spill.'

I look up, and make a lame attempt at a smile. 'What?' I put on the chirpy and try to turn off the miserable, gluing myself to the spot I had found the moment I entered the room.

'Oh come on, something's been buggin' your ass all night. You hardly said two words to me and when you did you put on the pout and was all miserable with it.'

I shrug. I can't do this. Not right now. 'It's just…' But my mouth is way out of sync with my mind. 'Me.' I couldn't just say "goodnight," and walk away.

Of course really I wanted to say how much I wanted her right now, and couldn't wait any longer. How I'd wanted her for so long…too long. I wanted her to understand that all those nights we'd patrolled together I wanted to be the one that trembled for her, and I wanted her to tremble for me too. But inside I'm just shutting up and planning on pouting again.

Faith frowns and I can't help but love the crease in her forehead, the sign of seriousness, serious concern arising in her mind, I'm guessing. 'What about you?'

I'm silent. I chew on my lip. Why the hell did I go ahead and say anything? I move gently, listening to my own feet padding on the carpet, and soon join her on the bed. I resort to looking down into my own palms, too scared to look into her eyes.

I give it some time, and she's as patient as I always wanted her to be. Unlike her. 'And Angel.'

I think I can sense her making an 'O' shape with her mouth. It was the only thing I could say, that would stop her thinking that I was thinking about her. She nods a little and turns towards me. 'Well I'm not one for saying the right thing…what's up with him?' she mutters, and I think I've put her in a very uncomfortable position cos she's sitting still. She doesn't usually sit still.

I shrug. 'Don't really wanna talk about it.'

Faith sighs. 'Want me to walk you home?' Bless. Faith trying to play the 'caring' game. I shake my head and rise from the bed.

'No, no…it's cool. I can, walk myself home. But thanks.'

'Well, if you need-'

'Yeah, I…' I trail off. Dammit. I have to mentally kick myself to finish my sentence, although I'm staring straight into her eyes just to check what she's thinking. I can't really pick up anything, right now. 'I know. Thanks.'

I need her.

As the door clicks behind me I let out a loud sigh and clench my fist. Why is it so hard to just be myself around her? It's as if every movement I make needs to be thought out, every word, everything. I can't physically bring myself to walk right now. But something inside me trips and I start to walk. And I walk fast.

CHAPTER 1: Leave It to My Imagination

I awoke to the sound of my own heartbeat jamming at my chest. I couldn't believe what had just happened. I clutched my chest, gasping for breath, and I felt my drenched hair clinging to my neck.

It was still dark. I noticed the pale blue light of the moon shining through my blinds. The air around me wasn't warm. Yet I had broken out into a cold sweat.

I laid back down, scrunching my forehead, trying to figure out what had just happened. My breathing was still the only thing between sound and silence and my body was emitting heat of its own.

*****

'Came out of nowhere,' I said to Giles as I watched him pace back and forth the library. He opened his mouth as if to speak, though when no words came out, he furrowed his eyebrows and outstretched his index finger instead.

'Hmm. I would listen to your thought train, if only I could hear it,' I said out loud, as I watched him, slightly amused that he seemed to disappear off into a world of his own whenever I talked to him about anything, slayer-related.

'Yes…' He turned to look at me for a moment, removing his glasses from his face, before swivelling on his heel and heading up the red stairs and along a column of shelves with books that I had no intention of digging into…especially at this hour. 'And what did you say it looked like again?' he said, and I thought I heard what sounded like him exhaling onto his glasses.

I squinted. 'Erm…Black, cape…hooded, thing, no face, of what I remember. Not I saw a face…I think…' I made a little face and fidgeted with my fingers a little. 'Oh, then a red hand. And it was gripping my throat, and I couldn't do anything about it. But what the hell does that mean?'

I waited at the counter, imagining that he was drawing down a large book from somewhere.

My attention was immediately drawn to the swinging doors of the library and the figure that strolled through them. I felt my heart going again. Crap.

Faith. I realised quickly that she'd been jogging this morning. Her breathing was heavy and her hair was clinging to the back of her neck, though most of it was drawn up into a ponytail. She was only wearing a pair of joggers and a tee shirt but she looked pretty good in them, and I made it priority to check out the curves of her body as she approached me. 'Hey, B, what happened with jogging this morning? I went to your place but you weren't there, wassup with that?' she said all laid back, through breaths.

I couldn't help but notice the heaving of her chest, so gracious. Even sweated out as she was, she still looked amazing, and the flex of her arm muscles as she reached for her ponytail. She fixed it up into a messy bun as she stood by me, and I don't think I moved my eyes off of her once. 'Hey, B? Are ya there?' she said with a little laugh, and I took my eyes away from her, and cursed inwardly because she noticed me staring.

I cleared my throat and focussed on my hands. 'Yeah…sorry, I had to talk…Giles and I-'

'S'cool. We don't have to train if you've got some assignment thingy, I just thought that you would be-'

'Oh, no, it's not that, I was telling Giles about this-'

'Jordipe,' came Giles' voice from behind the row of books.

I looked towards his voice. 'Er…what?'

Faith tapped my arm and I turned to her. 'I think he said he's got a sore pipe…' she said, under her breath. 'Hey G! You might wanna get that checked out-' she said, piping up.

I smiled, and shook my head. 'He didn't say that,' I said leaning in a little closer to her and hitting her arm gently. I think I must've had bad breath because she didn't smile back.

Giles appeared from behind the shelves presumably ignoring Faith's comment. 'It's not harmful, but I would keep an eye out, just in case.'

Faith chuckled. 'Well if you don't wanna go with my suggestion…' I hit her playfully on the arm and she laughed even louder.

Giles looked up at her from the book. 'What?'

'Er, nothing, she thought you said something different.' I cleared my throat and nodded my head a little, listening to Faith laughing. 'Erm…what else does it say? Oh, and about the hand?'

He hummed slightly and Faith quietened down a little. 'Nothing to worry about. They're messengers of some sort-'

'Yeah I bet I could identify which kind,' Faith said under her breath before chuckling some more. She leant her hand on my shoulder and laughed into it.

Giles frowned a little, wondering what she had just said, and I couldn't help but smile. 'It's the colour of their skin.'

'So why was he strangling me?' Faith burst out laughing and I couldn't help but chuckle either. 'Faith, shut up…'

Giles made a small sound. 'What's so funny?'

Buffy shook her head. 'Nothing, nothing's funny,' I tried to assure him, although I think he was feeling a little nervous because he removed his glasses from his face once again. 'Ignore Faith.'

The morning bell rung and I made a reach for my bag. 'Er, Buffy?' Giles said to me. 'Training after school today…you as well, Faith,' he told us, nodding towards Faith as he spoke to her.

'Sure,' we both said at once, though my voice sounded naturally chipper than hers, and hers naturally huskier than mine.

I followed Faith out of the library, my mind back to what she looked like in the clothes she was wearing. Tee shirt, joggers…I liked the way her hips moved in those things. She always walked with confidence and as if she knew where she was going. In actual fact I don't think she did, though I managed to follow her all the way out of school without remembering once that I had homeroom.

It was only when she turned and reached a hand out to my shoulder to stop me, and I looked her in the eye. 'You know, Red won't be too happy about you cuttin' classes to be with me.'

I tried to resist the urge to say, "What I do with my love life has nothing to do with her," although before I could comprehend my mouth spilled, but I was overly glad that it had come out as a quip, rather than a serious comment.

I couldn't help but smirk when I saw the corner of her mouth tug up into a smile to expose her teeth. 'So what are you sayin', B? Ready to kick, it; you an' me, rough and tumblin' it back at my place, all kinks and no vanilla?'

I wish I hadn't froze and looked as 'deer caught in headlights' as I did because it made her smile drop and she looked awkward. 'Oh yeah. The "uncomfortable" card. Shoulda known what with the, grunting,' she began, looking down into the palms of her hands. A troubled look came over her face and I punched her on the arm lightly.

'Hey,' I said, alerting her to myself, just one more time. She looked up and immediately I could tell she was disappointed. In what, was what I was wondering. Why should it bother her what I had just done? 'I'm not uncomfortable, just…' I made funny face and a little hand gesture to go with it.

Great. What a dumbass I am. She looked at me as if to say, "Yeah, right. Little blonde straight Slayer couldn't get any straighter." I continued. 'Training tonight, then patrol?' I said, as if asking. 'I kinda need to check around, see if this hood thingy is for real.'

She searched my face for a moment before speaking, and I felt a little strange now, anxious of what she would say to me. For a moment there I thought I'd seen something in her eyes that didn't exist in her. The desire for security; something safe. It seemed as if she was asking for it as she looked into my hazel eyes, her own chocolate ones wide and gleaming, as they naturally did. Faith's natural instinct was to go for what she thought she should go for; it was all about trusting your instincts with her. But just then I thought she hesitated in saying something to me.

Perhaps I wasn't the only one thinking this way.

'Sure,' she said, her gaze moving away from mine, and continued to search from side to side for something to focus on. That nervous thing she does. She's nervous. She made a little motion with her hands as she spoke. 'You should…probably get in there before Red gets ballsy with you for being late.'

I furrowed my eyebrows, feeling apprehensive about the conversation we'd just had. I offered a gentle nod, and no more, though I tried to catch her gaze and noticed all too quickly how she avoided me. I took a step back away from her, frowning still at what had just happened. 'Okay…sure,' I began, sucking in a breath before turning and walking. Something inside me made me want to turn back and run to her and slam my lips against hers.

Whoa. Back up. I just said that?

I turned back to face her, drawing in a harsh breath as I did, though sighed it out slow as I saw her walking away from me. Something about the way she walked made me think even further that something about what I'd just said had bothered her. I saw her kick a rock further in front of her, then walk up to it, kick it again. She slid her hands into her pockets and her head hung.

*****

I let out a pitched moan as my back hit the ground, although quickly got back on my feet, before landing a punch in Faith's stomach then hitting her in the chin with both hands, sending her stumbling backwards, her hair moving a fraction of a second behind her. She looked as heated as I felt. She grunted, having been knocked slightly off balance, but she was quick to tackle me back, and what a fine tackle it was. She threw a kick that swooped me off my feet and landed me right beneath her, though I shoved my legs out, knocking her off her feet as well, and she landed on her ass. 'Woah, B, gotta gimme a chance here,' she said between shallow breaths.

I chuckled a little, shuffling back a bit. 'Well, when I was gonna ask you the same thing you kicked me in the back and sent me head first through the air. Was a near blackout experience, I think,' I said, as I watched her scramble to her feet. She reached a hand out to me, and I looked at it, thinking. I decided to use it to get her back, and tugged on it, knowing she would be going straight over my head and right back onto the floor. I jumped up, then got on her, held her arms down. 'Oh, we're not over yet.'

She scoffed and I chuckled a little, though that faded fast when I gazed into her eyes and surprisingly saw her gazing back. Was she watching me laugh?

'What?' I uttered softly, becoming slightly moved by her current expression.

She smiled softly and licked over her lips. 'Your smile is adorable.' She looked as if she had begun to search my eyes once again for something that I had no comprehension of. That comment sent me into a daydream. I'd never really been this close to her before, with just in the room, this position of me sitting a top her stomach being practiced between us. But when looked at her gorgeously naturally pouted lips, then focussed on those dark chocolate swirls I felt a sensuous shiver travel the length of my spine.

Finally after what seemed like a lifetime, I muttered, 'What?' a gentle smile coming to my lips. It wasn't until I snapped out of my actual daydream that I realised she was yelling at me.

'I said I'm getting cramp!!! Get up!!!' I frowned and back off her, standing as I did. She scoffed again as she got up herself, and I let out a silent sigh, afraid I had done something that she may be able to use against me in the future.

She crossed the deserted library to the counter where she grabbed a half drunken bottle of water, and as she unscrewed the cap, as she sucked off the round plastic hole, as she swallowed, I could not release my eyes from her, the way her muscles moved with her; with that same grace as a dancer and a fighter all at the same time. The way her chest rose and fell with each breath, and how it heaved when she was deprived of oxygen.

Her facial expression remained content, even as she looked at me across the room. I found myself sitting on one of the tables with my legs crossed. 'Call it a day?' she said to me after swallowing her last mouthful of water.

I thought for a second. 'Faith, I need to ask you something.' I didn't know where that came from. I didn't even realise I wanted to ask her something.

She replaced the blue bottle on the countertop and approached me, briefly wiping her hand over her mouth, then her forehead as she watched me with a concerned expression. 'What?' I heard, rather than saw her say. She perched on the table across from mine, that same expression lingering at her face.

I drew in a deep breath, furrowing my eyebrows as I did. 'Er…well…the thing is…I…'

'B, at this rate that hood demon thing is gonna have gutted, grilled and gobbled every single human being by the time you finish your sentence,' she said quickly, and I watched her lips as she said it.

I nodded. 'Right.' I hopped off the table and headed for my things.

I heard her hop of her table too. 'No, B, I just meant-'

'Yeah, I know.' I shrugged my shoulders and slung my bag over my shoulder. 'S'not important anyways.'

Listening to the scuff of her shoes on the ground I wished I had talked faster. I had my back towards her but I could tell she was coming towards me and wasn't going to let me leave until I said everything. If just to have the courage to, then I wouldn't be having this problem.

I wonder what I would've said if I hadn't moved.

'Alright.' She picked up her bottle of water and the keys beside them and looked over at me. 'Fancy something to eat?'

I shook my head indolently. 'I'm not hungry,' I started.

She grabbed my arm and began leading me towards the double doors marked exit. 'Well I am.'

*****

She walked along, a bag of greasy chips covered in vinegar wrapped in a large piece of white paper in one hand, and a chip in the other hand, which was half in her mouth. 'No wonder you're so tiny,' she mused, and I raised an eyebrow to her, looking at her for a moment. 'Well you don't eat anything.'

'Yeah, actually I do,' I told her, my voice insult-ridden. I sucked in a breath and looked ahead of me, at the long street in front of us. 'I ate a blueberry muffin today.' I nodded my head a little and smiled a little, as if proud of myself.

Faith chuckled through the mouthful of chips. 'Please. Let me book you in for a liposuction session, quick; before you burst,' she said, reaching for even more chips.

My jaw dropped and I looked at her, then the chips. 'Well I just wasn't hungry,' I piped up, even more offended by her comments of my size. I quietened a little. 'Just had things on my mind, s'all.'

'Uh huh,' she pushed, through that same mouth of chewed chips.

I glanced sideways at her, not intending in the slightest to continue.

'So what was that back in the library, you wanted to say something?'

'Yeah right before your stomach started creating an earthquake,' I muttered and she hit me on the arm. 'Well it did.'

'Well I didn't get to have a blueberry muffin unlike some.'

I glanced at her again, narrowing my eyes at her. 'Shut up, it just so happens that I had an extra-large one.'

'Hmm.'

We strolled for a moment and I listened to the chewing noise she made with her chips, coupled with the scuff of our shoes on the ground and the shuffling of my jeans, until she piped up. 'So what was that back in the library?'

I sighed and reached a hand up to run my fingers back through my hair. 'Nothing, don't worry.'

'Didn't look like nothin',' she began, dragging out every word.

'Well appearances can be deceiving.'

'Yeah well.'

'Yeah well, what?' I repeated, deliberately trying to turn things around.

She munched for a second. 'Yeah well nothing.'

We walked in silence some more. I glanced sideways at her again, and saw her lick over her lips, still eating out of that greasy chip bag that contained enough chips to feed the city twice over. 'Ever think about who will be next?'

Faith made a noise as if to ask, 'What?' because her mouth was too full.

'The next one. The next Slayer.'

She stopped chewing, walking, moving, looked at me as if to say, "Why, why would you mention that?" and I stopped a little in front of her, and looked back. It seemed as if she disposed of the question and resumed chewing, looking at her chips, and walking.

'Well don't you?'

'Did you ever wonder about me?'

I felt my heart start up again. All the time. 'Yeah.'

She swallowed. 'Really? Did I live up to your expectations?' she said as if excited that I had said "yes" in response to her question.

I nodded. 'And a bag of chips…' I smiled as I looked at her, and she laughed a little.

'Want one?' she offered holding the bag out to me and I pushed it back towards her. 'You're gonna break.'

'No I'm not.'

'Yeah, you will.'

I scoffed. 'No, I won't, Faith. I eat.' I paused a moment. 'Just not excessively.'

'Or at all,' she mumbled through a mouthful of chips.

'Whatever.'

'So this thing?'

'Would you stop bringing it up, I said it was nothing,' I snapped (gently).

'Geez, okay, sorry, just you looked as if you were about to spill your guts for fucking my boyfriend or something,' she replied.

'Faith!' I said and frowned.

She shrugged. 'Fiiine, god I'm sorry.' She screwed up her chips and I silently thanked god they were finished. I didn't notice her shrug her shoulders and make an irresolute facial expression. 'Girlfriend,' she muttered as she turned away from me to chuck her chips in the trashcan.

I think I got whiplash turning my head. 'What'd you just say?' I said, and I swear to God no one ever had a voice that high-pitched in the history of man…speaking.

She shook her head and scrunched her face a little. 'Absolutely nothin'.'

I sighed upon looking back ahead of me. Perhaps I just imagined she said that. Although I noticed a cheeky smile on her face as we walked, and her eyes possessed some sneaky look that gave me the impression I had heard something. She strutted, and sucked on every finger she'd used to eat her chips with, one by one, deliberately slowly. Enticingly.

*****

Faith slammed the broken wood into the guy's chest and then watched as he became a tiny pile of dust. She grunted as she got up off of the floor and wiped herself off, before chucking the wood aside. She looked across the fallen apart warehouse to see a couple of vampires attacking me, and as I landed a mid kick in the vamp's stomach, he let out a cry and flew in the direction of Faith. I yelled out her name to her and I'm glad she was watching where she was going because otherwise he would have gone straight into her. Too bad I forgot the other vamp was behind me and he grabbed my throat and I shrieked. I retrieved a stake from the front pocket of my jeans and twisted his arm over and round his back before shoving the stake into his chest. And poof.

I threw the stake in Faith's direction upon her calling for it, and she caught it, swung it round and slammed it into the vamp before kicking him backwards, and he was dust. She let a long hard moan as she leant down and grasped her thighs in her hands as if she had been running and needed to stop to catch her breath.

I furrowed my eyebrows as I stepped over the dust and began to approach her. 'You okay?' I said, noticing the echo in the warehouse as I spoke. We had stumbled across this place accidentally. I never realised it was there and neither had she. But when we got in, it was a world of vampires seeming to be congregating. We decided to use the element of surprise and jump them from behind, poof one of them then appear, and watch their faces as they watched the vamp disintegrate to reveal their worst enemy. We must have fought ten of them, give or take. I know that at the end I was beat.

She nodded as she straightened out, her left out hair flinging itself back over her head, and the brown curls bounced around her naked neck. She was only wearing a cami top and a pair of tight jeans. I hadn't bothered to change after training- I was still in my jeans and 'Hawaiian Beach' yellow tee. Even so, she made her outfit look a million times better, all because she wore it. I could see her shoulders and chest glistening, and I watched on as she raised a hand to her forehead and left it there for a moment, all the while her eyelids shut and her voice box humming a continuous note.

'Sure?' I said, my own breath a little puffed out. I stopped pretty close to her, far enough to be able to reach out and grab her shoulder, and that I did. She opened her eyes to me as if surprised that I was there and putting a hand on her shoulder. 'Hey,' I began, sure that my expression was portrayed anxiety.

Her eyes were wide open and I think watering slightly, and she exhaled heavily through her mouth before inhaling quickly and exhaling quickly, this time through her nose. She smiled a moment. 'Yeah. Just, erm…' she paused and winced a moment. 'He stepped on my bad foot.' She shrugged and looked at me, I think, expecting me to laugh at her.

I nodded. 'Ouch.'

We began walking, although she stumbled a little and then stopped, taking her bad foot off the ground. She bent down a moment to hold it, before uttering a small, 'Fuck,' under her breath. She grimaced as she held the injured foot, her brows deeply furrowed in her forehead and her eyes clenched shut. I think I saw her clenching her jaw because her jaw bone was protruding slightly.

I immediately moved to her side and wrapped her arm around my neck. 'Come on, you can lean on me,' I said through an exhaled breath.

'No, I'll be fine, really,' she insisted and moved her hand away.

I gave her a "fine" look and lifted my palms to her. 'If you wanna walk on it that's just fine-'

'I'm not about to start hopping back to my place, looking like an idiot, I can look after myself.'

I raised my eyebrows, looking down at her foot. 'Alright,' I said beneath my breath.

She sighed and scoffed, mentally kicking herself I think. 'Urgh. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that.'

'It's okay.' I drew in a breath, deliberately avoiding eye contact with her. 'So I guess I'll go home, then.'

Faith nodded a little, before stepping on her bad foot and letting out a bellowing cry. 'Holy shit!' she picked up her foot and started hopping, making a high-pitched noise in her throat as her eyes widened and she grabbed her foot. I sighed and she looked up at me. 'I'm good. Just gonna…hobble on down back to m'place…yeah…' she told me before limping away.

I stayed back a little, contemplating whether or not to say what I wanted to say. 'Unless…you wanna come back to my place?'

She stopped and looked back at me over her shoulder, a raised eyebrow staring me in the face.

'Well, you can't exactly walk on that thing, I could…fix it for you…' Faith chuckled a little and I swallowed, nervous.

'I'll live,' she assured me and continued limping.

I sighed and shook my head. 'C'mon, you look ridiculous.'

'Not as ridiculous as I would if I was hopping.' I made a tutting sound and rolled my eyes before grabbing her arm.

'Since when did you care what people thought of you?'

*****

I focussed on releasing the tension as I massaged slow circles into her foot. We both sat upon my bed, me shuffled down to the end and her in the centre, her arms behind her, propping her up. Her eyes were focussed on her foot also and I begged my senses to concentrate solely on the foot and not the fact that Faith was on my bed.

I stretched the white material gradually around her foot, being careful not to coax her out of her state. Her eyes had closed, and I think she was listening to the strumming guitar on my CD. I couldn't help but move my eyes up along the curves and contours of her body, just for me to memorise. To be able to close my eyes and know where they were. Her facial expression told me that she was at peace, and that I was doing something right. All the while I was wrapping the material around her feet, although my wrist accidentally knocked against her foot and she cried out. I tore my gaze from her and looked down at her foot. 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry…' I started, my voice pleading.

She shook her head. 'It's alright. It's just…it fuckin' hurts, man.' She brought a hand to her temples and began massaging them, then replaced her hand in the previous spot, her eyes falling closed again. 'Stupid vampire.'

I think I gave the impression I was worried because I knew my eyebrows were furrowed but I guess my eyes were somehow too, because when she opened hers and looked at me, she uttered a gentle, 'Hey.'

I looked up, alerted by her sudden change of tone. Her voice was breathy, and gentle. 'Don't worry, it'll be okay.'

I swallowed and let out a breathy laugh. 'I don't wanna put you in anymore pain than you have to be.'

She smiled and nodded her head. 'That's nice.'

The corner of my mouthed tugged up a moment as our gaze between each other was kept for just a moment longer, then I looked down, and continued wrapping up her foot.

I could feel her eyes burning in to me, all the while I was focussing on her foot, inwardly daring myself to look up and tell her how gorgeous she was. I didn't dare. But I could feel her gaze on me, and when she looked away, I felt as if I was being deprived of oxygen. I needed that gaze back. I wanted her to look at me.

I tucked in the bandage at the edge and put her foot down on one of my cushions. 'All done.' I used that chipper tone to let her know I was alright, but when she opened her eyes to me, I couldn't read her expression.

'You didn't have to, B-'

'I-I wanted to. Cus…otherwise you'd still be…hopping.' I took a breath. 'Imagine trying to stake a vampire on one foot. You'd be all-'

'Please…let's not…' she said as if to tell me I was waffling. Something I had adopted from Willow, I was sure.

I nodded and offered a careful smile. 'Do you want ice, or something?'

She shook her head.

'I can get you painkillers, or-'

'B, it's alright, really. It'll be better by tomorrow, I'm sure of it.'

She pulled herself into a better sitting position and reached out to me. I looked back over my shoulder, a little surprised at her touch, and that continued further when she let her hand fall to mine, and then tugged on it. I let my lips apart, still wondering why the hand was there. It was only when she cocked her head towards the top of my bed and I began to move I realised what was going on in her mind.

I was close enough to her to feel her breath on me, and I could see her pupils before me, beginning to dilate. She leant in towards me and I felt a sudden rush of nervousness in my stomach. It tightened, twisted and I thought I would panic. Though as soon as her lips hit mine, all of that melted away, and all that was left was the passion, that began to arise between us, as I reached my hands up to her shoulders at first, then up her neck, up to her cheeks-

'Buffy?' she said, forcefully, and I think she had said it many times before because when I looked at her she was frowning.

I frowned and looked around for a moment, away from her, at the surroundings in my room as if I had never seen them before. 'Ur, yeah?' I said, looking back at her.

'Do you have any food, I'm starved…'

I watched her for a moment, offering a timid smile, before nodding and getting up. 'I'll get snacks.'

I made my way out of my room as fast as I could, closing the door behind me. I leant against it a moment, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. Had I just been hallucinating?

CHAPTER 2: Getting Down, Getting Nasty, Getting Naughty

I tried not to think about regurgitating the contents of my stomach as I dizzily made my way to the dance floor with a beer in one hand and Faith's hand in the other. I began swaying my hips to the heavy bass of the thumping music, travelling down every single nerve I possessed in my body. The music had me, the alcohol had me even more. But most of all, Faith had me, and that was the biggest intoxication of all.

I tipped my head back as I pressed the cool bottle to my lips and felt the liquid travel down onto my tongue, down my throat, down my neck. As cool as it was, it added to the intense inebriation I was feeling at that moment in time. My head had decided that summersaults were the way to go and the strobe lights decided that faster was indeed better.

I set the bottle down on the side and turned back to Faith, who seemed as inebriated as I did. I closed my eyes and continued moving to the music, dirty dancing into the arms of Faith, and her body. Once again I was in a mini skirt and knee high boots, with a simple cami top. Faith was wearing a black and purple leather bustier with black leather pants and her body glistened at the heat and the humidity in the club. I took her hips in my hands, and she turned her back to me and started dancing into my lap, taking me further and further down, grinding into my every move. And I wanted so much to run my hands along every curve of her body, along the flat of her stomach, along every muscle, every single inch of flesh. I could see the hair clinging to the back of her neck and I wanted to pull it back off her neck and replace it with kisses. I couldn't take her dancing like this into me anymore. She had no idea what she was doing to me. Give it a couple and I would climax right there on the spot. She turned to face me, her lips so close to mine she was literally breathing into my mouth. The speed at which she'd turned around caused her hair to cling to her neck and face even more than it did before. She flashed a shit-eating grin at me, and I flashed one straight back. She took both my hands in hers and moved back a little from me. 'Havin' a good time?' she asked me as we swayed rhythmically to the music.

I nodded. 'I haven't felt this good in ages,' I told her as she danced. She moved in close to me, placing a leg in between mine, and I placed a leg in between hers, and we continued our rhythmic roll against each other as before, only now she was beginning to grind into my soft spot, and I could feel every nerve in my body beginning to tingle, but more than central she had awakened the most sensuous nerve in my body and as she wrapped arms around my neck, I wrapped my arms around her waist, and looked down at how close we were. 'You really hot right now?' she said straight into my ear, her lips touching it ever so slightly and I let a moan pass my lips. She pulled back and smiled.

'Burning…up…' I said, and Faith chuckled and pulled me away from the dance floor.

Somehow, without me knowing it, we made it into the bathroom, and she was pressing one of my hands to her bare chest, right above her almost bare breasts. 'Feel how fuckin' hot I am right now,' she said before heading for the sink and shoving the cold water tap right up. I stood back a moment, shocked at what she had just done with my hand, and then joined her side. She picked up a handful of water and splashed it down her top, and shrieked before looking at me in the mirror and pressing the cold water tap right down again. She looked into the sink then turned her head round and drenched her hair in the water, and I simply stood back and watched as she drenched herself in this ice cold water. Once done, she looked in the mirror and ran her fingers back through her shoulder length hair, that now clung to her neck with its every drop of water aiding it.

'Aw, what the hell,' I said, before doing the same, only just with my hair. I figured it would drip down onto me anyway and cool me down. She laughed as I threw my head back and my hair followed, and my lip hung as I looked up at myself in the mirror.

'Wow,' she said, chuckling as she did. 'That was hot,' she said quickly, before moving her fingers through my hair and then kissing me briefly on the forehead. 'C'mon.' She grabbed my hand and before I knew it we were back out in the centre of the dance floor, and this time she was dipping it low on me, letting me see every bit of flesh down her top, watching every inch of skin as she went down, and as she came back up, she looked into my eyes, and all I could see was lust.

I can't have been that inebriated because I remember exactly what her eyes were telling me. Lust. She was definitely hungry and horny. As if her daily dosage of patrolling had had her needing a lay right now, so much to the point where she was about to get off on me.

I wish.

I guessed as much.

I woke up next to the toilet bowl in her motel room, and her showering a few metres away from me. I frowned and groaned and immediately heaved, and watched the pretty mixture of colours ejecting themselves into the ceramic bowl. I moaned and sat back against the wall after having pulled the flush on the toilet. 'I feel like shit,' I said, following the squeaking of the taps turning to "off." Faith pulled down a towel from the top of the shower and wrapped herself in it, then stepped out, and flashed a smile at me.

'I figured.'

I sighed and rose from the cold shiny tiled floor. 'You feel it too?'

She shook her head as she walked through to the bedroom. 'I didn't drink so much.'

I turned the sink tap to "on" and washed my mouth and face off, and then looked up at myself. I didn't look that bad. Just...bad enough.

'Don't wanna be late for school, B,' Faith said to me from the other room, as if making fun of the fact that I was still IN high school. I stuck my middle finger out of the door and heard a laugh following that. 'Aw…hangover not doin' ya much good, girlfriend?'

The "girlfriend" remark. I think that was the one word of Faith Vocabulary that she thought I wasn't uncomfortable with. I was. But at the same time, I liked the sound of it. Especially seeing as it was directed at me.

'Hurry along now, don't wanna be late, do you?' she continued and I heard her slamming a draw shut.

'Fuck off,' I said to her before heaving again and bending down to the toilet. 'I feel like fucking shit…' I moaned after having spilled the contents of my stomach into the toilet for the second time this morning.

'Shouldn't drink so much, eh,' she said as she re-entered the bathroom. I washed out my mouth again and then perched on the toilet seat lid, watching her putting on some lipstick and mascara.

'You look fucking great.'

She smiled into the mirror. 'I don't drink so much.'

'You drunk more than me.'

Faith hummed and smiled briefly as she pressed her lips together and then walked back out into the bedroom.

I realised what she meant when she made that humming sound. She'd called me a lightweight before, but I didn't think she meant it. I'm sure it took as many drinks as it did for her to get drunk as it did for me. 'Cept I was just having a bad night. S'all.

'I'm not going in,' I decided as I dragged my feet along the bathroom floor, then the bedroom floor, and I slumped down back onto the bed.

She cooed as she watched me move back to the bed, if that's where I had been before. I couldn't remember anymore.

*****

'Assonance…a device in which the vowel sounds are repeated. Keats particularly takes advantage of synaethesia…'

I think my head was so heavy that it made a dent in the desk. I lay with my head sideways on the table, my arms hanging down off the desk. Sleep was the only appealing treat I wanted right now.

'Buffy?' came a gentle voice from beside me.

I sat up a moment, opening only one eye as not to let sunlight affect me.

'Are you hungover?' Willow asked gently, whispering as not to draw attention to the fact that she was talking.

I frowned and plonked my head back down on the table. 'Tired. Sleep depravation.'

'Were you at the Bronze last night? With Faith?' she asked again, nudging me on the head lightly.

I sat up once again and looked at her with a blank expression. 'With all due respect, Will, I have a headache. And if you touch my head again more than likely it's gonna spontaneously combust, either that or haemorrhage, I'm not sure which one's more pleasant. So please…' I put my head back on the table and shut my eyes.

Will frowned and leant her chin in her hand, and fiddled with a pencil in the other. 'Was it fun?'

I sighed. 'Great.' I would've said she should join us sometime but I kinda liked it being just me and Faith. I could let myself go almost completely when dancing with Faith and I wasn't sure Will would agree with that.

'It's just…I saw ya there and you looked kind of…drunk,' she whispered.

I mumbled something, I can't remember what, it probably didn't even mean anything.

'Did you go patrolling last night too?'

I would've nodded but my head was the wrong way round.

'Buffy?' Willow asked gently, and I sat up, huffing at the same time, looking at her as if I had seriously just had my head under a pillow for the last one hundred years.

'Yeah, I did. I patrolled. I kicked ass. I drunk, I danced, and I was hot!!!' I smiled briefly at her, my eyes half open, and then let my head back on the desk. 'And Faith was hot too.'

That's when I swear Willow had burned her eyes into me.

'You guys looked like you were really getting into it last night,' she continued. I mumbled once more.

'I'm telling Xander.'

I mumbled, 'Telling Xander what?'

She hummed a little. 'Oh, just that you guys got all touchy feely and stripped in the middle of the club, danced practically up against each other and made out in front of everyone whilst having buckets of water tipped over you.' She paused. 'Oh, then…you went and threw up, I'm guessing as a result of the drinking.'

By the end of that speech I had lifted my head back up and was now looking at her with eyes as if to say, "I so did not."

She nodded with wide eyes. 'I didn't.'

Willow made a funny little busted face. 'Not the stripping part, no.'

I frowned. 'Or the making out part.'

She chuckled. 'So, you did all the other stuff, then?' for some reason she seemed pretty excited.

I paused. Busted. 'He's not gonna let it go if you tell him.'

'That's the point.'

I frowned. 'Okay, Will. I woke up this morning to a toilet full of throw up, which by the way was mine. I feel as if my head is about to blow up and my stomach about to jump out of my throat and I don't think I slept at all last night. Why are you pestering me on the worst morning of my young teenage life?'

She smiled. 'I wanna know what it was like.'

I looked at Willow a second, furrowing my eyebrows, wondering what could possibly interest her. Did she have a crush on Faith?

*****

'I know you must feel all wonderful already with the Slayer gig thing, but what's it feel like having all those eyes pointing at you?' she asked as I sat in a cold, hard wooden chair and my stomach rumbled.

'Well, I don't know. It's just dancing. Having fun, letting go, you know?'

She smiled and pulled her legs up onto the desk she was sitting on. 'Yeah, but when you're all dancing and stuff, how do you even do all that?'

I shrugged. 'I dunno.'

'I wanna do it,' she said. Bless her, she was adorable. So innocent, I don't know what interested her when it came to Faith and I. Dancing. In a club.

'Will,it's-'

'Hey, bitches, what's up?' came a husky voice from the other end of the library. Faith. I envied her for being so good at cleaning up the day after a night out. 'Hey, Little Miss Lightweight,' she said, perching next to me, chewing on a stick of gum. She flashed a grin across at Will and licked over her lips fast.

I scoffed quietly as I rolled my eyes, and regretted doing it straight after. 'Stop calling me that.'

Faith sat back in her seat and put her feet up on the table. 'Guess who got all kinks, naughty and horny last night?'

'I was there,' she replied, running her fingers along the gold stand of the table lamp.

Faith sat up slightly. 'Really?' she said, her voice employing an intrigued tone.

She nodded. 'Minus the drinks, the kinks and the hungry and horny attitude.'

'You forgot naughty,' I said quickly before leaning my head in my hand.

Faith laughed and Willow giggled as Giles stepped in and the sound of his heels clicking on the floor could be heard from the other end of the library. 'Oh, hello,' he said, briefly looking up from the book he was reading.

'Did you hear-'

'No,' I interrupted Will quickly, my eyes closed, my head still in my hands. Faith smiled a little.

'Hear what?' Giles said, seeming more interested in his book than the three girls.

'Nothing,' I told him quickly.

He approached us and sat down in the empty chair. 'Buffy, how was patrolling last night?'

Faith smirked and nudged me a little and I sat up a little. 'Oh. Erm. The usual. Vamps. Grr, argh. Stake, Poof. Done about five or so of them.'

'Nothing came up about the Jordipe?' he asked, looking directly at me. Since Faith wasn't talking, she decided to play with the bracelet on my hand instead.

I shook my head. 'Should there have been?'

Giles sucked in a breath and looked down at his small brown book. 'Well I've been reading more about…this hooded messenger and it seems I may have misjudged its powers.'

'Oh?' I asked, not particularly interested in it at all. I watched Faith playing with my bracelet, then glanced at Willow, who was grinning at us. I frowned momentarily at her everlasting excitement for us. I mean me. I mean Faith. God, I don't know what I mean.

Giles hummed a yes. 'It seems that he carries just a bit more than information…'

He slid the book onto the table and it landed in front of Willow, who picked it up and began reading. 'Jordipe. The Hooded Being. Sometimes identified as the "red messenger" sent to slayers to deliver important messages. However, can be anything from a word of note to watch out for the next enemy or a message of apo…' Willow looked up at Giles, frowning slightly.

'Finish that word,' I dared her, through clenched teeth.

She sighed. 'I think you know what I was gonna say.' She looked up at Giles. 'What does it mean?'

Giles sighed. 'Well Buffy, you said that in your dream it reached out and grabbed your throat, yes?'

I nodded.

'Read on, Willow,' Giles instructed and she did so.

'De-de-de…'she muttered to herself as she read through irrelevant information. 'Oh. The Jordipe can also be the cause of apocalypse, through being able to predict the future, he has the power to manipulate the future, thus changing it for the benefit of himself. The Jordipe is not necessarily harmful, unless if his powers are misused to manipulate time and events which- why didn't you ever tell me you had this dream?' Willow asked, stopping mid-sentence.

Faith scoffed and sat back in her chair once more.

I was a little surprised at how she managed to change the subject in a sheer couple of words. I shrugged. 'I-I only told Giles, and…Faith, I only knew about it since a couple of days ago.'

She nodded a little. 'So when were you gonna tell me about it?'

'Well I didn't think I'd need to. I didn't realise that they were some sort of apocalypse catalyst…Giles, what should we do?'

'I'm not sure,' he pondered, whilst cleaning his glasses.

Faith's eyes widened and then she began laughing. I frowned and glanced at Will, then at Giles, who possessed the identical expression of confusion. 'Well I guess Faith's got her answer all worked out…laugh…it off…' I said, frowning a little. She continued, bending over in laughter.

She sat back a few moments later. 'I get it now…' she said through laughs.

I shook my head a little, looking at her. 'Get what?'

Her laughing began to die down and she cleared her throat. 'Remember I thought Giles had a little problem with his-'

I stopped her. 'Yeah, okay, I guess that's enough now, Faithy,' I said, placing a hand on her arm. I looked at Giles and smiled a little. 'Sore pipe.' He nodded, with his mouth ajar, then frowned in mid way of replacing his glasses on his face.

Willow pushed the book back to Giles. 'So what about this?'

I shrugged. 'How do you kill it?'

He shook his head. 'It's not necessarily that we need to kill it. The Jordipe can be of extreme use to the Slayer and can carry certain messages that cannot be received from any other people.'

'So how come I never got this dream?'

'Er, the Jordipe can only visit one Slayer at a time, meaning that until you die, Buffy, it cannot visit you, Faith. Or any other potential slayer.'

I sighed out a long breath. 'Oh.'

'Which means you need to take note of your dreams from now on. He might have useful information. On the other hand…he could just be warning us of a potential apocalypse…'

'Damn right, there's going to be an apocalypse if someone doesn't find me a Keats text,' Cordelia said as she approached us. Giles got up and hurried up the stairs, muttering something to himself as he went. If I didn't think any better of him I would think he was saying something like "selfish bitch" or "slutty freak" or…

'Buffy I heard you got all down and dirty last night at the Bronze is that true?' she continued, stepping in closer to us.

I glanced at Will, then at Faith who… 'Yeah, she was with me, all the way, down dirty, kinks and no vanilla, nasty and naughty all night long…' Faith said, keeping her eyes on Cordelia the entire time, who had frowned and taken a step back.

'Oh…right.' Giles registered the book then handed it to Cordelia whose eyes had been darted back and forth myself and Faith as if they were on a sideways yoyo. 'I guess I'll see you, later…' She left without uttering another preppy word.

'What do you girls get up to?' Will pondered and I swear if her smile grew anymore it'd be a complete circle on her face. 'All kinks and no vanilla? All nasty and naughty, d-does this happen, all the time? Like after slayage, cos Buffy's told me how you get after, after slayage and it seems like-'

'Alright, next time you can answer the question,' Faith said quietly into my ear and then smiled and leant her forehead on my cheek, chuckling quietly.

'Will, I just went crazy last night. So did Faith-'

'Nah, she's just a lightweight.'

Willow smiled softly. 'What's that?'

Faith smiled and then shook her head a little. 'I think we're gonna have to get Red drunk sometime, B.'

'While we focus on the situation at hand here I think we should eliminate chat of…after…partying and de-slayage, whilst, we still can. Erm. Buffy,' Giles began and I watched him, ready to deliver a speech to me. 'Take note of your dreams from now on. Anything and everything. I'm going to continue trying to find out what I can about this demon.'

'So it IS a demon?' I asked.

He nodded as he walked back up the stairs. 'Potentially, yes.' He continued and we remained silent for a moment.

'So what does "lightweight" mean?' Willow asked again. 'Is that a…Faithy-type word, one of these things you made up?' she asked, her eyes bright and her smile all chipper.

CHAPTER 3: Conversations With the Girl

She crossed her legs over one another as she took the small orange book into her hands and began reading. I stood at my windowsill, watching out at nothing in particular…there wasn’t really much to see. A young guy riding a bike…it was almost dark. The street was pretty much deserted.

‘Re-occurring dream. I saw the Jordipe reaching out to my neck. I felt no pain. I made no struggle.’ She flipped a couple of pages, then made a short laughing noise. ‘That’s it?’

I looked over my shoulder at the brunette on my bed and shrugged quickly. ‘Not much else. I don’t dream much.’

Well that was a lie. Not about the slaying dreams, but about dreaming in general. Last night I had a dream I was with Faith, on a beach somewhere. We were training, like before, only this time we ended up…well let’s just say sand managed to get into areas I believe are potentially very painful.

I pulled my hair out of its ponytail and ran a brush through it a good couple of times. Faith had been with me ever since school let out. We had decided not to patrol tonight, since we’d done ten nights in a row.

There she was sitting on my bed once again; sure she had a long sleeved white ribbed vest and black leather curve-hugging pants on, and a pair of black boots. She made even those look good. It sounds stupid, but I love the lingering of her scent. A mixture of so many things that sent my senses rolling into an eternal fantasy whirl. Even her voice sent shivers through my spine. The anticipation of seeing her every morning before class, working up a sweat with her.

My feelings for her were growing stronger and stronger every day. I found myself thinking of her so much that I couldn’t really focus on anything else. I was gazing out of the window when I heard her shuffle around on my bed. For a moment I imagined she had just woken up after us having messed about and the only thing shielding her body from me were my own pink striped sheets.

We’d both been silent for sometime, and eventually I turned from the window and headed for my bed, though when I approached it, I saw Faith was lying sprawled out across the comforter, asleep.

I’d never seen Faith asleep before and it scared me. I didn’t wanna wake her. I wanted to watch her. As soppy and stupid as it sounded, I did. Every time she inhaled, and how she barely moved for a solid block of time. This motionless figure on my bed, asleep.

I raised one knee to the comforter and leant into it as my hands pressed down further in on the mattress and I climbed upon it, as carefully as I could. All the while my eyes were focussed on her slumbering form. She was facing me; a hand beneath her face and the other on the mattress in front of her stomach. She had a peaceful expression upon her face, and seemed as if she was in a nice place. I imagined she was.

A part of me wished that I was there with her. But the rest of me wanted to stay right here, before her, just watching her…I could watch her forever.

I lay down, almost mirroring her position, and still, focussed my gaze upon her form. She grew more beautiful everyday.

And at that moment I have to say I could not even begin to comprehend how the words slipped out of my mouth. ‘I wanna love you.’ My words were quickly lost by the fact that they were whispered, and I felt the cold breeze of my exhalation across my lips as I uttered those few words.

My hand reached out, hesitant at first, wavering. Although I eventually moved a hand to her cheek, and let my first three fingers trace along it for an extended second, before pulling my hand away, as if I had been caught, as if someone had seen me.

‘I really do…’ I continued, my voice a little more stressed this time. I felt my eyebrows furrowing a little as I watched her with departed lips. I exhaled through my mouth, and then licked over my bottom lip quickly.

It was only then that I questioned my feelings for Faith. How much did I feel for her? Did I love her?

I think I must’ve spent hours thinking about it, or at least what seemed like hours.

Though I awoke to the sound of someone shuffling around in my room. I drew in a quick breath and sat up slightly, propping my bed-ridden body up with an elbow. It was almost pitch black in the room, except for the light from an outside street lamp shining in, coupled with the moon shining a pastel blue through the windows.

The figure across the room looked over at me, at smiled softly, and it touched me; awoke butterflies in my stomach. ‘Hey, you.’

I was slightly surprised at her choice of words. Hey me?

I moaned a little before yawning. ‘What time is it?’ I asked as I watched her sitting on the chair at my desk.

She glanced at the clock on my nightstand and so did I. ‘Twelve. I should get going.’

I wanted to say “no,” wanted to invite her to stay. And I think something in me held me back. What…my own fear.

‘It’s Saturday tomorrow, right?’ I asked quickly, breathily. Some hint of my voice said that I was still sleep-induced.

Faith nodded as she grabbed her slung coat off the back of the chair. ‘Why? What’d you have in mind?’

I shrugged, feeling my hair falling over and around my shoulders. I rearranged my legs beneath me, feeling how smooth they felt, and my skirt from school displayed a fine amount of them. I felt pretty sexy, and wanted Faith to think I was too. ‘Well why don’t you stay? We can…’

‘Stay up all night and talk about guys, paint each other’s nails and eat low-fat ice cream?’ I couldn’t figure out whether or not she was making fun of me.

I shook my head. Not quite what the “naughty me” had in mind. ‘Well we’re gonna meet up tomorrow, right?’ I began, pulling myself up into a sitting position. I crossed my legs and ruffled my hair up a little. I wondered if she knew what I was playing at.

‘If you want.’

Hmm. Not the reply I was expecting.

‘Well why don’t you just stay. If it makes you feel better we don’t have to paint each other’s nails.’

She chuckled and I saw her eyes sparkle in the moonlight. She was so gorgeous. Even with the faintest bit of light she glowed. Every inch of her. And I couldn’t take my eyes away from that. I just wish she knew. I wonder if my eyes were telling her right now. Even as I outstretched a leg in front of me and then pulled my top over my head, exposing my purple lacy bra. It made me nervous that I was indeed undressing in front of her. I tossed my top across the room onto the pile of other dirty clothes.

‘We can talk about slaying, and sex and…I dunno…partying.’

She sat back in her chair and yawned. ‘You know, it’s not all I think about.’

I kept silent and watched her watching me. I couldn’t quite catch the look in her eyes but I knew that it was something that required digging.

I saw her yawn and stretch out. ‘Stay?’ I asked, timidly. I didn’t want it to seem like I was begging, but I really did want her here right now.

She kicked off her boots and got off the chair and climbed onto the other side of the bed, the same place she’d been in before, facing me. ‘Alright.’

She pulled her top over her head to expose her black bra, then shoved down her leather pants, to reveal a pair of tight shorts.

‘Do you want a shirt to sleep in?’ I asked her, trying not to let my eyes fall down to her chest.

She shook her head a little. ‘It’s too hot.’

I nodded and smiled a little, before reaching under my pillow to retrieve a cami top. I slipped it on fast and then unpinned my bra from behind and slid it off one arm, then pulled it through the other. I kept my eyes off her the entire time, though had a feeling she was watching me as I stood up, my back to her. I pushed my skirt off my hips and watched it fall to the ground, then stepped out of it. I pulled out a pair of shorts from underneath my pillow and slid them on, slowly, tiredly.

Even as I crossed the room to my desk to brush my hair, I thought I could feel her gaze on me.

That thought disappeared when I heard her moving around on the bed, slipping underneath the covers, I think.

‘I’ll grab a sleeping bag,’ I mused.

‘Don’t be stupid, getachass under here,’ she objected. Smoothly I might add.

So I skiddadled my ass on over to bed and slid in, letting out a tired sigh as I outstretched my legs under the sheets. I lay back and looked up at the ceiling a moment. ‘Ever get that feeling?’ I heard her say, and glanced out of the corner of my eye at her, in the same position as myself, only with a hand behind her head.

‘What feeling?’

‘When you get in a good slay…you’re itching for some vamp to show up so you can rattle and bang on ‘em, give ‘em a big, bad uhh?’

I cracked up a moment. ‘No.’

She turned to face me and propped herself up with an elbow. ‘Nuh uh, you’re totally lying.’

‘I am not.’

We were quiet a moment and I felt her eyes on me. ‘Look at me.’

I looked at her, moving my head towards her slightly.

‘Tell me you don’t get majorly juiced on the power trip you get from sticking it right in. That adrenaline rush, the action…’

Perhaps I was lying before, but I definitely knew Faith felt these things, and wasn’t going to deny it. ‘Yeah, okay, maybe just a little.’

She chuckled. ‘Good, cos I thought it was just my hormones jumping off on me.’

I frowned and looked her in the eye. ‘Huh?’

She was silent a moment as we held our gaze. She looked away from me. ‘I…just…it’s cos you don’t half look hot when you kick ass.’

I felt my stomach tighten. What do I say to that? ‘No way.’

‘Way.’ She lay back and closed her eyes, and I watched her relax into her position. ‘Do you think I pull it off?’

‘Pull what off?’

‘The “hotness” thing. Think I look hot fighting?’ Yep, butterflies had most definitely come out to have a good ol’ play.

I opened my mouth to speak, feeling immediately parched with a killer dry mouth, not to mention my lips. ‘Urh…sure…’ I uttered quickly, hoping I didn’t sound in any way husky.

‘Oh.’

I sighed and shut my eyes for a second. ‘No, I mean…Faith you look amazing,’ I started. ‘You can make anything sexy with the right amount of leather and lipstick.’

She chuckled low in her throat. ‘I don’t mean slutty, I mean sexy.’

‘I know.’ I thought I’d leave it there.

‘Do you think my leather makes me look slutty?’

Why would I complain? ‘No, not at all.’

Silence.

‘I’m not, you know.’

‘Not what?’ I asked gently, letting my eyelids slide over my eyes.

‘A slut.’

I hummed a little.

‘Really. I haven’t been with a guy for a long time, you know.’

‘Really?’ I hope I didn’t sound too interested. Although I wonder if that would’ve been a bad thing.

‘Yeah,’ she said, sounding somewhat resolute about that answer. ‘Your friends probably think I am, no doubt Giles.’

I sighed. ‘No, not at all.’ I licked over my lips. ‘But to give us props you do kinda suggest it-’

‘Through over-exaggeration of vowel sounds, B.’

I smiled a little, listening to her comment. ‘I know you’re not, Faith. Although what business is it of mine to nose into your sex life.’

She didn’t say anything. I wondered what was going through her mind.

‘Do you really think there’s gonna be an apocalypse?’ she asked me quietly, sounding as if she was ready to sleep.

I sighed long and a yawn followed. ‘I hope not. But…we live on a Hell mouth. If this demon isn’t the bringer of the a-word then no doubt the next one will be.’

She scoffed. ‘Why do they even bother? What do they even want?’

‘What they all want. Power. Glory. Achievement.’

‘So they couldn’t just protect the whales? Teach a child?’

I chuckled. ‘This coming from you.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

I shrugged. ‘Nothing. Just. You’re not really one for painting “mommy and daddy” or swimming with the dolphins.’

‘Yeah, but I don’t have to be. I already save the world. Isn’t that some sort of achievement?’

I thought about it. More silence. ‘Well if these bad guys didn’t exist, we wouldn’t need to save the world from time to time, would we?’

She made a noise. ‘Guess not.’ She sucked in a deep breath, then exhaled it through her mouth and shuffled a little. ‘Ever think who’s next?’

‘Next what?’

‘After me. Next Slayer.’

I opened my eyes and looked at the ceiling before me. ‘Well. I don’t particularly like the thought that there needs to be another Slayer. You’re strong enough not to get dead, right?’

She yawned, and spoke at the same time. ‘I like to think so, yeah.’

‘Think I am?’ I mused.

‘What?’

‘Strong?’

She smiled to herself, her eyes still closed. ‘I like to think so, yeah.’

CHAPTER 4: Channelling the Power

Listening to the sound of my own breath gave me a comforting feeling. I was still alive. Gradually my senses began noticing my surroundings. First my sense of smell. I could still smell the lingering scent of her. From last night. From all those times she’d been here and her scent just stayed in this room. With me.

Next my sense of touch. The breeze drifting in through my window. Although I had no recollection of opening a window I soon realised how soothing the cool breeze was against my warm skin.

Sight. I blinked my eyes open and shut a good few times before properly focussing on the daylight-stimulated objects around me. The clock on my nightstand. The time. I couldn’t take it in. I didn’t need to. It was day. So it was day. Not like I was trying to catch the summer sales. I noticed a pair of boots across the room and quickly remembered they were Faith’s, from yesterday.

It didn’t occur to me she wasn’t still in bed until I sat up and noticed a large space beside me. Maybe she went to the bathroom.

Even so.

I slid to the foot of the bed and stepped out, the covers slightly tangled with my legs, although I quickly straightened that out and threw the cover back onto the bed, fairly neatly.

Once again my sense of sound gave me the ability to listen to my feet padding along my carpeted floor. The creaking of my bedroom door as I pulled it towards me and exited the room.

I ran my fingers back through my hair as I sighed and watched my step…literally as I jogged down stairs. I followed the walls round to the kitchen, aiming for a strong cup of coffee or at least tea. Something refreshing.

I pulled the fridge door to, checking that there were contents, and sighed disappointedly upon finding none. I wasn’t hungry anyway.

I quickly brewed some coffee and poured a cup-full for myself. I decided to go get the paper and maybe pretend to be sophisticated and read through it. Although when I stepped out of the back door to go round to get it, I saw her.

Training.

Was that some form of tai…chi?

I leant back against the doorframe with a cup of coffee in my hand and the other folded underneath my engaged arm. A contented smile took control of my lips and I squinted my eyes a little from the beaming sun.

Each move she made seemed immaculately timed and gorgeously perfect. She stepped into her positions so wonderfully, taking every step as if it were a routine she’d practiced since birth.

Something about the way she focussed, the concentration on her face told me that determination was fuelling inside her. And in no way would it disappear. She outstretched an arm in front of her, and for some reason I felt as if I could feel that energy flowing through that hand. Even the way she dragged it back sent a jolt through me.

She was so perfect and in her eyes believed that her special talent was something that singled her out. Made her unwanted.

But her eyes told me a different story than her mouth. Her eyes told me a story of…pure mentality. Possessing the power to channel your emotions through every single movement you physically made. How, focussing your mental energy could create physical power, strength. And now in her eyes, as I watched their stillness, and that one-hundred per cent focus on the task at hand, I could see something I think I had never seen before.

A different kind of strength. Something I could not begin to understand, and try to possess. Perhaps you had to have been to that special place to know.

I let out a self-satisfied chuckle as I brought the mug to my lips and I could tell immediately I had startled her. She pressed a hand to her chest briefly followed by a shit-eating grin swiping across her lips, just for a prolonged moment. Then it became a warm smile. ‘I didn’t wanna wake you,’ she began, letting both arms to her sides, and approaching me with a muted and hidden anxiety.

I nodded my head. ‘Thanks.’ She stood a few feet before me and I took another sip of my coffee. ‘That’s quite some thing you have going there…it seems pretty cool. Giles never told me you-’

‘I took a yoga and tai chi class. Just one. Figured it might help channel some anger, release more strength.’ I told you.

She pulled her hair out of the messy bun it had been in and pulled it back into a neater ponytail as she stepped inside, and headed for the stairs. I followed closely behind as her destination became a solid mission. ‘The tutor was all about aligning yourself with natural elements and the closest I have is earth. So I decided to train out in the yard, where grass is. Listen to some birds.’

I raised my eyebrows as we trekked up the stairs and towards the bathroom.

‘He said that focussing was the key to handling the exercise and noise pollution wouldn’t help. But when you know what your object is – in our case to slay vamps and fight nasty evil stuff – it’s pretty easy to block out all the things going on around you.’ She swallowed and pulled her top up above her head as she continued, and I timidly perched upon the toilet seat.

‘The thing is he did tend to talk a whole load of crap, going on about meditation this and that. So it got to the point where I realised I didn’t need fifteen sessions to learn how to focus and channel energy. For Christ’s sake I already know how to slay a vamp. But I figured…finding a way to channel this extra energy that I always seem to have, finding a way to keep it and use for future use could mean a bigger, better and hotter slayer.’ By this time she had stripped down to her underwear, having taken off a pair of joggers she had borrowed from my draw, I’m guessing, this morning, when I was still asleep.

My eyes could not help but stray, exploring her body. First her hips, as they became exposed inch by inch by her slowly pushing down the joggers.

The clenching of her leg muscles as she lifted one off the ground; her arms…the intense creamy almost-toffee complexion beginning to bronze from a wonderful tan. Her stomach, how perfectly toned it was and how it didn’t move when she respired.

Oh. It wasn’t that I wasn’t listening, I just…’Definitely hotter,’ I muttered before drinking the remainder of my coffee.

‘What?’ she asked as she stepped in front of the mirror and checked for pimples (I’m guessing).

My stomach clenched for a brief moment. ‘Have you been working out more than you usually do? You look pretty buff. And for all the junk you eat-’

‘Ey just because I don’t eat fat-free salad everyday it doesn’t mean my food isn’t nutritious.’ She pulled her hair out of its tie-back and used her fingers to push it up to her wrist.

‘Yeah. Okay. I think the tai chi’s really getting to your head.’

I believe my dreams came true as I watched her push her small black shorts off her hips followed by her un-strapping her matching black bra and dropping it to the floor, as if it were nothing. She turned to the shower and switched it on, and stepped inside it, slid the door shut.

This is me…dumbfounded.

‘No it’s not. I tell you what all that sexual energy and no way to get rid of it…well…yeah…no way to share it was getting me frustrated. You know how hot I get, girlfriend. It’s all the same for you and you know it.’

I don’t think I’d moved my eyeballs since seeing her strip down to nothing right before me. Comfortable, or what.

‘Hey B?’ her voice came from inside the shower, slightly drowned out by the water beating down into the shower toughly.

I shook myself up a little and swallowed. ‘Urm, sorry?’

I heard her scoff. ‘When are you gonna get this, B? You know how intense the life of a Slayer is.’

I don’t believe I’d listened to a word of what she had just said. ‘I’m sorry?’ I said after a long silence, figuring she must’ve just said something, which she had.

‘When I finally thought you were beginning to get it…’

‘Get what?’

‘You heard what I just said.’

I frowned a little, coming to my senses now, and actually listening to her words.

‘No, I er- I didn’t quite catch them.’

There was silence and I think she was squidging shampoo out of the bottle. ‘I said…you know how intense the life of a Slayer is.’ There was more silence as my mind processed her words. She was completely right. And it was even more intense when one Slayer began to fall in love with the other.

‘That adrenaline rush…’ she continued, though trailed off quickly. ‘Just think how much power is behind us, let alone IN us. I wanna be able to use that, you know?’

Me too. I wanted to be able to be with her and it would be the most amazing experience ever. So much power behind it, sexual energy as she had said. It’s amazing me that I am finally realising this. But it still astounds me how I hide it so much from her. Perhaps I shouldn’t so much. I think I would give anything to have the strength to strut into that shower right now, slam her body against the cool tiling, kiss her…I think I wanted her to touch me. I could picture myself moaning against this innocuous touch, fuelled with determination, driven by passion…power. I wanted her. I know that now.

Even as her back faced me, and all I could see was a mesh of silky skin, drenched by water, cleansing her, purging her of any previous scent, and I inwardly cursed at it for doing so.

I rose from the toilet seat and headed for the door. As long as I couldn’t have her, I couldn’t be there with her, right at that time. It was driving me crazy. I could see her, but I couldn’t touch her. And she wouldn’t touch me. Because she wouldn’t want to.

CHAPTER 5: DemonSized Chocolates are the Epitome of...

Marching…lots of marching. And pokey stick things with, all inscriptions. Latin, I think. Looks like it. Could be ancient Greek. Plenty more marching. Loads of people. No.

Hooded…beings. I see them from up above, as if I am in an aeroplane. Looks like Hell. The centre of a desert. Armies of beings marching. In one direction. They all have this pokey things.

I sat up in a hurry, my chest pounding, the loudest noise I could hear, bar my breathing. I was covered in sweat…again. I knew it was a Slayer dream, it had to be. It felt all too real.

*****

‘They’re getting worse!’ I said somewhat irritated into the mouthpiece, playing with the pulling string on my joggers.

Giles sighed through the telephone and I thought I could feel his frustration. I had woken him up at close to two-thirty in the morning.

He made a short groaning noise, and I think he was getting out of bed. ‘How intense?’

‘Worse than, like…I- It felt like I was there, I could feel the heat of the atmosphere on my skin, and I could hear the murmuring of the marching thingies. Oh, and…fire…there was fire, like…in the distance. I couldn’t get down there. And I couldn’t understand what they were doing.’

‘What did you say they looked like?’

I winced as I raised my hand to my forehead and clenched the skin there. ‘Uhm. It’s difficult, I don’t quite remember. But it just felt…so intense.’

‘And here I was thinking you were stuck on that reoccurring dream of that Messenger.’

‘Perhaps it was a message,’ I thought aloud.

‘Hmm, I think perhaps it was.’ There was some silence and I think we were both thinking about the same thing, only in different contexts. ‘If it’s at all possible, contact Faith. Ask her if she’s been having any dreams. I may have been wrong about the Jordipe. Perhaps he’s creating pieces of a puzzle and Faith has the next piece.’

‘Good deal. Only…’

‘Only what?’

‘What if there are others and they’re having the dreams?’

He sighed. ‘Then we’ll have to contact the Council, see what we can do about it.’

I thought about what he had just said for an extended moment, chewing on my lower lip. ‘Okay.’ I drew in a long breath and sighed it out again. ‘Sorry to wake you. Get some sleep. Don’t think too hard. Gotta save some of that power of yours to put into practice tomorrow morning.’

‘Goodnight, Buffy,’ he said, I think getting irritated at my talking too much.

‘Goodnight. And thanks, Giles.’ I pressed the red telephone button, and then proceeded to dialling Faith’s number, though paused halfway through. I hadn’t spoken to her since Saturday. It was now Sunday night, no…Monday morning. I had been all awkward on the whole shower thing and I don’t know if she knew that. But ninety-five per cent of me was hoping and wishing that I would get over my fear and finally speak to her about it. The five remaining per cent of me would get all stuttery and finally go mute. Damn that five per cent.

*****

I leant against the wall as I pressed the phone to my ear and listened for the pick up. I was inwardly very happy when I heard her bed-ridden voice. ‘This better be good.’

‘It’s me,’ I replied, listening to how breathy my voice was, and a little scared that it had become all too husky for a tired voice.

‘Oh, so it is good,’ came her voice from down the line.

I felt my stomach begin to do gymnastics. I chuckled nervously, though I think it was well hidden that I was nervous. I drew in a loud breath of air and ran my hand up along the wall. ‘Whatcha dooin’?’ I asked. Just out of interest. Strictly professional. Of course. You know me.

She laughed a little. ‘What do you think, B?’

If her voice wasn’t so naturally husky I wouldn’t be imagining these naughty things that involved me every single time. Oh…except for once.

I made a humming noise, thoughtful sound. ‘Well…it’s you Faith. Never can be too sure-’

‘Okay, seriously, what did you call me for, B? Because I’m guessing phone sex isn’t on the agenda.’

I paused. ‘Oops. You got me,’ I said, my voice playing the ‘innocent’ card.

She scoffed and I heard a shuffling noise. I would imagine her shifting about in bed. ‘Well finally, B, I wondered when we would do this, you and me goin’ rough and tumble!’ She sounded just a little too excited for me, though some part of me told me she was joking, which I think she actually was.

There was however, the soppy, needy part of me that wanted to believe that she wasn’t. ‘C’mon Faith, strictly professional, remember? Not until after-hours, we agreed, remember?’

‘Well if after-hours isn’t now, when is it? It’s two a.m, B, or close enough to. Are you seriously tellin’ me you’re looking for a way to de-horn yourself or is there actually some “professional” subtext to your vocabulary?’

‘You mean subtext to yours,’ I muttered, meaning what the hell had she just said? She grunted and I chuckled. ‘Okay, okay. I needed to ask a question.’

‘Just one?’ she droned out, straining on each word.

‘Well kinda.’ I took a breath. ‘I had this dream.’

Silence. I don’t think she was going to say something. Either that or she was major pissed that I had interrupted her sleep.

‘Okay, so. There were these being things and all of this hellish activity that I didn’t quite grasp all of. I’m sure it was a Slayer-ish type dream, or maybe I’m just over-worrying about things, but I really don’t-’

‘B, honey, sweetie. Is there gonna be an intermission of some sort in this?’

I sighed, my mouth still open from being cut off. ‘Well, I, uh…Giles told me to call you and find out if you knew something, or had the same dream, or a different type of dream that might be a message from this Jordipe thing.’ I took a breath. ‘Did you?’

‘But I thought they only delivered the goods to one slayer at a time. You know. A one-slayer demon?’

‘Well Giles said he may have been wrong.’

‘Even so. Nada.’

Silence.

‘Nothing?’

‘Well if you really want me to tell you what’s been happening in my dreams, I-’

‘It’s okay, Faith,’ I said softly. I imagined I sounded dreamy on her end of the phone. ‘Why don’t you just get some sleep, I’ll see you in the morning.’

She sighed. ‘Sure.’

Then all of a sudden there was a deathly silence. Not like something bad was about to happen, but like…an opportunity for me to speak.

I opened my mouth, though hesitated. ‘Ever…get that…that…feeling?’ I started, looking into thin air, chewing on my lower lip, furrowing my eyebrows. Nervous. So nervous.

She sighed and hummed. ‘All the time, B. It’s always been there. Every day.’

I frowned. Did she…know what I was talking about? ‘Erm…’

‘The only thing is…some things are better left…unsaid.’

There was more silence between us. I didn’t realise I hadn’t been breathing until I heard her voice again.

‘Night, B,’ her voice was soft. I had never really heard that from her before. But her voice sounded loving. Understanding. I think I was falling in love with it. I wanted to hear it some more.

‘Faith?’

‘Hmm?’ She sounded sleepy.

I dare not say it. ‘I…I…I love…’

‘I love this, too. You and me. Slayers, girlfriend. It’s a nice thought. We have a connection.’ I listened to her voice and felt myself drifting into Buffy-land once more. Was I just about to tell her I loved her? I think I was. ‘No one else can understand that, just us. It’s what makes us so special. We save the world. We, rock.’

I failed to reply to anything she’d just said, until finally, after having frowned to the point where my eyebrows hit my chin, I opened my mouth to speak. ‘Good night, Faith.’

I should’ve hung on just a little longer, waiting for her to reply to me, but instead I hung up the phone, pressing the red phone button and holding it for as long as my mind drifted. I can’t believe myself right now.

I had to get out.

And I did. I walked. Walked ‘til dawn. I don’t even know where I went. I don’t think I was paying attention. All that was going through my mind was Faith. Over and over. “I love…” Why on Earth? I was stupid. Telling her that would push her further away from me.

It was only when I realised I was approaching my house that I finally came to my senses. I strolled up the driveway, in no more than my shorts and t-shirt, and into the house through the backdoor.

It was daylight, although the streets were sound. I indolently moved my feet along the floor and up the stairs, to my bedroom, where I sat on the end of the bed and let go.

Yes. I was crying. Crying at how pathetic I was. I couldn’t think for long enough without Faith popping into my mind. Everything I did made me want to be with her. Her. Everyday. All the time. And it wasn’t just wanting her. I wanted her to want me.

My hot tears fell down my wind-stricken cheeks and down to my chin, where they lingered ‘til the liquid weight became too much and gravity pulled them to my hands below.

I sniffled and exhaled like a baby having its favourite toy being taken away for being naughty. My eyelids fell closed and I could see her in my mind, as she was in the yard on Saturday, as beautiful as I had imagined her to be.

I wanted her to be mine. And I wanted to be hers. But that would never happen. I needed to get over her.

*****

‘What’s this?’ I asked as I sat cross legged on Willow’s bedroom floor. She was a sweet girl. Good natured. All fluffy and light. Mostly. Except for the Wicca part. But it wasn’t about evilness. She was really very good at it.

Her eyes followed my pointed finger and then she smiled. ‘Oh it’s just some lavender, and…’ She pointed to another pot of herbs beside it. ‘That’s rosemary. Oh, and…’ She reached behind her and grabbed a couple of burning joss sticks. ‘Sandalwood.’

‘Mmm, it smells good.’

She nodded and knelt down across from me before working on mixing some things, and I just watched on. ‘So, what are you making?’

She shrugged. ‘I read somewhere this thing to help you feel less tired, like you know in the mornings when you hate getting up and you feel all bleurgh?’

‘Yeah. So it’s like a stimulant?’

She made a funny “mneh” sound. ‘No, not…exactly. It does kinda have the sort of same effect but it’s kinda magical.’

‘So an illusion?’

She shook her head as she used her mortar and pestle to crush some things. ‘No. It focuses on releasing and bringing together certain energies in your body. Like refreshing a chakra, or balancing some energy.’

I nodded, not quite understanding, but trying to. ‘Right. So it’s kind of like a magical coffee?’ I picked up a small piece of lavender and started twiddling it in my fingers.

She nodded. ‘I guess you could say that. If you’re looking at it the “non magical” way.’

She continued crushing herbs and things and I sat back and watched. We were silent for a while, her concentrating so hard on her potions, and me…Well let’s just say, the other day hadn’t exactly sieved from my mind.

Faith. Yep. All that was on my mind. Apart from Willow making her potion-y things. Herbal remedies and vanquishing potions. Had a kind of narcissistic twist. Willow and vanquishing potions.

God, she looked so happy. She deserved that. Especially after everything we’d been through in our young lives. Not so much in most people’s cases. A lot in our cases, and some others. And after everything she wanted to practice this craft, and study it. I had no idea what kinds of depths it went to, but for some reason her interest in it made me interested.

I had never really thought about it that way.

I wonder if Faith was okay. Not that she wouldn’t be, she’s a strong person. But I…wondered. If she was okay.

I remember the time when that vamp stepped on her foot. That face she made, made me laugh. Although it wasn’t particularly funny- her pain, I mean. But still. She had a way of making things comical when she wanted to. Unless if that wasn’t a time.

‘So what’s up with you and Faith? Shouldn’t you guys be patrolling right around now?’ I noticed how she sounded a little piss-takey with that comment.

I shook my head. ‘Night off. Giles said we should cool it, what with the…apocalypse thingy…’

Willow made a tiny “ah” noise before nodding her head slowly. ‘So…what’s all about this? Is it a Slayer thing?’ She wouldn’t look at me, and continually looked at her crushed herbs, which I think she was just pounding on to release some anger…I don’t understand why.

‘Erm…it’s difficult.’

She chuckled breathily a little, which disappeared quickly. ‘I’m not…I’m not stupid, Buffy,’ she said, raising her eyebrows on “stupid” and over emphasising how it was pronounced.

I opened my eyes a little wider and pressed a hand to the carpet to support myself whilst rearranging my legs, which were getting cramp. ‘Will, I didn’t mean-’

‘Yeah, but it’s like I’ve just been “cut out” or something. Like…I’m not worthy of your Slayer Status anymore, because I don’t have any special powers or anything.’

I craned my neck forwards a little. ‘Willow, I-’

‘I know, you and Faith are “sister slayers.”’ She drew in a long breath and sighed it out as she spoke. ‘Why should the “geeky little high-school loser” think she can do anything that’s worth a darn.’

I realised finally. She felt left out. First the Bronze, then the slaying, then the apocalypse demon. I took the mortar and pestle from her hands and took her hands in mine.

‘Willow, it is NOT that, I swear. I just…’

‘You just don’t want me to get hurt, I know.’

‘Yeah, but Willow. It’s not just that I don’t want you to get hurt. I CAN’T let you get hurt. Because you mean too much. It’s not about the strength or the power. I’m meant to protect you guys, not let you fight. Get killed. Because that is exactly what will happen if I do.’

‘But I’ve done stuff like this before, I can do it again,’ she pleaded.

‘But it’s dangerous, Will.’ I licked over my lips, feeling my throat becoming restricted. I think I wanted to cry. ‘You have taught me so much, already, Willow. And I’m not saying you’re not strong enough because,’ I moved a hand to her forehead and pressed my palm sideways against it softly. ‘Up here, you are. And you’re SO much more powerful than I will ever be! Don’t think that I won’t let you into this because you don’t deserve to fight next to me, I’m nothing special-’

‘You’re the Slayer-’

‘I’m A Slayer. All I do is fight vampires and the occasional stronger demon-thing. What you do is more important. This…’ I looked around me. ‘This is safer for you-’

She took her hands away from mine and sat back a little, and I think her eyes were welling with tears a little. ‘What if, I don’t wanna be safe anymore? Huh?’ She exhaled and looked down to the palms of her hands. ‘All my life, I’ve been the safe kid, the one who sticks to the rules. The one who never goes wild, or does something strange…okay…not that part.’ She sighed. ‘When I met you, when I found out about you, it made me…feel excited. Like…we’re a team. You, me, Xander, Giles. Angel.’ She looked at me whilst saying this, her eyes uber-hopeful, until her eyebrows raised a moment, then her eyes fell. ‘Then came Faith.’

‘You don’t like her?’ I asked, my voice moving up an octave or ten.

She shook her head immediately, looking up at me. ‘I love who she is. That exciting, mysterious, sexy and scary personality. She can do, have, take ANYTHING she wants, and she does. And I’m not jealous of what she has, or what she wants…I’m jealous of what she took.’ She shrugged her shoulders, looking at me, not quite at my eyes but sort of.

I frowned a tiny little bit and then realised. ‘Me.’

‘You make my life exciting, in my boring, pathetic, useless-’

‘Will, you are far from useless. You’re my best friend, and I would NEVER leave you. But…I just don’t want you to get hurt because of me, because of evil. It’s not fair on you.’

‘I don’t care! It’s my decision, Buffy, otherwise, if I didn’t like it, I would’ve backed out! But I didn’t, and I still don’t want to. But it seems like now that’s the only thing that I can do because you don’t want me to get involved, and Faith thinks I’m all useless and stuff-’

I shook my head and moved in a little closer to her. ‘She doesn’t think that.’

Silence. Willow stared into the palms of her hands, then made a slight scoffing sound. ‘But it’s true.’

I took her hands in mine again. ‘It’s not, Will. Look around you. You’re learning. Same as me, learning something of your own, that I can’t even begin to understand. We need a spell, a-a potion, who do we go to?’

She shrugged.

‘You, Will. We go to you. Because we know that you know.’

There was more silence and I think she was calming down. ‘But…can you just…stop worrying about me. Like…me getting hurt. I-I can learn, how to fight, er, physically, I mean?’

I smiled a little, and she looked hopefully at me. ‘Okay. But…you have to promise me one thing…’

She shook her head and moved in a little closer to me, her hands still in mine. ‘Anything-’

‘You have got to be careful. We patrol, something gets too tough, PLEASE just back out.’ She nodded. ‘And…let me train you…cos Faith is just…’

‘Lemme guess….all about the rough and tumble?’ she said, sounding a little drained, though in the Willowy-way that she always does, breathing pauses and all.

I chuckled and pulled her in for a hug. ‘I love you, Will. You mean loads to me. I don’t want you to get hurt, much less die because of this.’

She hugged me back. ‘But I love you too, and if you’re gonna be fighting, I wanna help you. You’re my best friend. That’s what friends are for. To help each other, right?’

*****

I strolled towards Faith’s motel room, carrying a bag of greasy chips covered in vinegar, a video and a box of chocolates. And a stake…and a small…fork thing.

My heart was pounding. After Willow’s house I wasn’t sure how I was feeling about things. Willow joining in on the Slayer thing was a slight challenge, but it eliminated the ‘Me and Faith’ time that I so dearly appreciated. Shower breaks included.

I knocked middle-to-lightly upon her front door and stood back a little, quickly pressing my lips together to make sure I had enough lip gloss. I hope I was looking good. “All that and a bag of chips.” And a videotape. Catchy.

The door came to and there behind the door stood Faith in a black mini skirt and a white vest top (ribbed), a black bra underneath. She had just washed her hair, and she was barefoot. She looked unbelievable to me.

She didn’t have any make up on, except for shiny bright red lipstick, which made her gorgeous pouty lips look even poutier. She was so gorgeous. Such a vision.

‘I-I Faith…urm…’ Yes. Stuttery, or shut up. Should’ve voted shut up, because I sounded like what I had really seen was another naked version of Faith.

‘My chips?’ she said, one hand, one finger pointing towards them, one hand holding the door.

I nodded (good option) and handed them to her. ‘I didn’t eat any.’ Wow. A full sentence. I’ll be onto three syllable splutters next. Wasn’t I a wonderous one.

‘You’ve never eaten chips in your life, of course you didn’t eat one.’

‘Hey, I so have,’ I said, my voice suddenly perky. I stepped in and she moved to the side to let me past, shutting the door behind me. I heard her feet padding along the floor behind me and all at once I was nervous again. I slipped off my jacket and dropped it on the…on the…looked for a place to drop my jacket, before finally settling it down on the…on the…floor. ‘Here, lemme take that,’ she said twiddling her ringed fingers at me. I looked at her hand and then smiled timidly, passing her the jacket at the same time.

I couldn’t help but watch her pressed together lips, glowing at the light in the room. They didn’t even NEED light to glow. They did all by themselves. But here she was. Gorgeous lips and all. Then her back was to me, in the wardrobe, hanging up my jacket. I blamed my jacket for the depravation of the view of her lips. Damn it. Stupid jacket.

It didn’t matter because she soon turned back to me and looked down at her soggy chips, and I imagined she must’ve been starving because she dipped right into them.

‘What did you get?’ she asked through a chip-full mouth, and used her free (greasy fingered) hand to take the tape from me.

‘Some, chick flick.’

She grunted. ‘Boring.’

‘It’s a classic.’

She looked at me, pausing in chewing.

‘What? It is…it’s “Clueless.” Alicia Silverstone is just a Betty in that,’ I started.

‘O-kay, sweets, calm it down, it’s just a flick.’ She opened the case by pressing it to her stomach and pulling the case open with her thumb, her other four fingers pressed against the other side of the case. She looked great doing it.

Meanwhile her chips accompanied her other hand, and I’m sure she was missing them.

She slipped the video in and sat down on the floor, leant up against her bed. I joined her and pulled open my box of chocolates immediately. ‘Praline?’

She looked at me as if I’d come out of a changing room wearing a “Star Wars” outfit. I felt silly. I put them on my lap and shrugged. ‘They’re yummy.’

‘Not with chips and vinegar.’ She licked her finger and then pointed to one of the chocolates. ‘Save me that one.’

I nodded and then reached for the one next to it. Perhaps I could feed it to her and she’d make a humming noise as her eyelids fluttered closed and she’d lap up the mixed in caramel centre…

There goes me dreaming again. I bet inside she thought I was all goody-two shoes, brought up so well I would never stray. Except for…Angel. As hot as he was, I couldn’t get over how much hotter Faith was. And it was different. For one, she was more alive. And in a way…darker.

Like the way that she licked her fingers was almost erotic, like…it was a tool…of some sort. And how she made that “Mmm” sound when the first chip hit her tongue. I wonder if I could taste that good to her.

So much of me was dying to find out.

I wonder if she tasted as good as this chocolate I was eating. I’m sure she tasted better. Much better.

‘So what happens in this thing? Does the blonde trip over a rock and decide to get a nose job to compensate for the brain damage created? Assuming that she actually has some form of brain…you know…the “Stage One” kind.’ I just looked at her for a moment, then my forehead creased.

‘She’s not dumb, Faith.’

‘She thinks yellow and black match, if that’s not dumb, then what is?’

‘I think they match.’

Silence.

‘Yeah but you could get away with that.’ She licked her finger and dipped her hand right back into her chips.

‘What’s that suggesting?’

Faith raised an eyebrow, tilted her head slightly and scoffed before raising a chip to her lips. She looked at me briefly, and I think my nervous system amplified a thousand as her eyes drifted down my body. I pretended not to notice the eyes.

I quickly looked back at the television and upturned a palm towards it. ‘She’s just a girl, experimenting, with different, very fashionable colours. And look, she’s got a wonderful complexion that would go with almost anything…’ She pushed my hand slowly down and looked in my eyes.

‘Okay, B. I get it,’ she told me, quite low, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a very sneaky, sexy smile. She kept held of my hand for just a little too long, and I couldn’t help but let my facial expression fall as she kept looking at me.

I snapped out of whatever it was that had just happened there and looked at her bag of chips. ‘You done with those? I’m going to the bathroom, I can drop ‘em in the bin, if you want.’ I put down my chocolates, got up, straightened out my white neat trousers and reached out my hand.

Faith looked at my hand, then her chips. She screwed up the bag quickly, and handed it to me. ‘Yeah, sure,’ she said, sounding (and looking) slightly confused as her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes concentrated on the bag and handing it to me.

I took it from her, my fingers touching hers slightly, and I felt a jolt, run right through me, to the core of me. I flashed a look in her eyes and caught her gaze for just a second before turning and heading for the bathroom, bringing a fingernail to my lips as I did.

I closed the door behind me and leant against it, making a large clattering sound as I did. I didn’t care. I closed my eyelids tight and clenched the screwed up bag of chips. Two words. My. God. I couldn’t take this for much longer.

Her ways of being sessy and unbelievably jokable were indeed frying me alive. I needed to have her and I could not take much more of this.

Something…

I sat down on the closed toilet seat and sighed out carefully.

Something in her eyes. Something in the way she looked at me…at my body. I couldn’t quite get it. Did she like me? Did she want me?

If so…was I stupid in not making a move? Should I?

I tossed the chips into the bin and flushed the toilet, just to make her think I actually did need to use it, and moved over to the sink, pushing the cold water tap, on…well…the tap, on. I looked up at myself.

My god. I looked okay. I looked like someone had just dropped a bombshell on Sunnydale…again. But…no…this is stupid.

I moved my fingers slightly under the running ICE COLD water (I might add – at least it wasn’t brown) and moved them up to my hair, pulling a few strands of my held back hair out, running my fingers along them.

Then I just pulled my hair out, and shook it. Maybe that was better. Nah.

I did the flip trick (where you flip your hair back over your shoulders). That DID indeed do the trick. I looked relaxed. Maybe too horny. Maybe I was.

I turned the door handle and watched my hand on it as I opened it, then ran my hands down over my hips as if to wipe the extra moisture off, and headed back where Faith was.

I noticed how fixed her eyes were on the television, and inwardly felt stupid for going to all that bother for making myself look sexy. It wasn’t completely over though. We had the rest of the movie.

I sat down and picked up my box of chocolates and immediately brought one to my mouth, to find it was half gone. ‘What the…’ Caramel was dripping out of it and it got all over my fingers.

‘Oh sorry, it was so good I wanted to save some for later.’

‘Faith,’ I said sounding surprised. ‘You’re not one to “save” things. Don’t you always devour them…gobble ‘em right up?’

She shrugged. ‘Maybe I changed.’

I chuckled. ‘Yeah, okay.’ I raised the chocolate to my mouth and went to eat it, though she held my hand where it was, then moved the box of chocolates away from me, and by now my eyebrows had furrowed and my mouth made a perfect “O” shape. She looked at me, turned to face me, and smiled almost raunchily.

‘I’m sorry, I-’

She placed a finger on my lips, sitting on her knees, facing me, her legs slightly departed. ‘Let’s share it.’

I didn’t really know what to say to that.

She took my hand, and all the while my eyes were darting between my hand, the chocolate and her face. I saw her tongue slide out of her mouth and onto the chocolate, and I couldn’t describe the feeling I got as her tongue hit my fingers…she licked the caramel that had been strung out over my fingers, and I swallowed hard. I noticed I was furrowing my eyebrows, and she was still looking at me. She moved away and sucked on the chocolate in her mouth.

‘Your turn,’ she said, with a slight giggle.

I couldn’t help but break through my seriously confused face and start laughing. ‘No way, you just had your mouth all over that!’

She grabbed my leg gently and gave it a squeeze. ‘It tastes so good, though.’ I noticed her bring her lower lip into her mouth and bite down on it after her tongue had had a go at it. Her eyes were so intense.

I chuckled a little more, then looked at the chocolate. I moved the chocolate to my mouth and let my eyelids fall closed, let my lips depart, and let the chocolate come to me. As the luxurious silk passed over my lips I uttered a small moan, tasting the richness immediately. I dipped my tongue into the hollowness if it and caught some of the caramel there. She was right. It was amazing.

I hummed as I pulled away from the chocolate, and opened my eyes slightly, Faith sitting even closer to me now, her eyes feasting on my image. I was inwardly startled at this, though remained calm.

‘You were right, Faith, that was gorgeous chocolate.’

She nodded, no sound. She lifted her hand to mine again, and moved the chocolate towards her mouth once again. Was this a game? I was beginning to think more and more that perhaps she did want this…me.

She took the remainder of the demon-sized chocolate into her mouth using her teeth, and sat back. ‘C’mere.’ She said through the chocolate, using her hand to portray her words.

I did as she said, moving in closer to her, unsure of the next action she had planned. Although when I realised what was going to happen my body tripped into hormonal overload.

At first she placed a hand on my cheek, and her fingers rested at my jawbone. Then she drew in just a little closer to me. She exhaled once. That’s all. Then brushed her lips against mine. So gorgeously softly. And then…I caught her upper lip between both of mine, and pressed a hand to her upper leg, ever so lightly, as if resting.

I closed my eyes, and frowned slightly, still a little confused at what was happening, and worried that I was hallucinated all over again. I let a tiny moan escape my lips as I moved away for a second. I went back, and this time, she swept her tongue across my lips. I could taste the remainder of the chocolate that was now on my lips, and it was indeed gorgeous. I used my other hand to grip her shoulder and hers, my waist. I moved in even closer to her, and she, me.

I had no concept of how this begun yet was so happy to be in the midst of it. My tongue began exploring her mouth, so softly, so…gingerly, and she replied with a meek motion…almost completely unlike the Faith I thought I knew. As I said: I imagined she devoured her treats…if that’s what I was. But this…she was so…like…me…cautious…tentative…A hand moved up to my hair and soon fingers were running through it. We warmed to the kiss a little more and she leaned even further into me, our bodies almost completely pressed together, so firm that I could feel her heartbeat against my right breast.

She felt wonderful. And tasted even more. I waited for her to pull away; I wanted to let the kiss last for as long as she wanted. When she finally pulled away, she smiled coyly, which broke into a gentle laugh. I followed suit.

‘Tasty chocolate, huh,’ she joked, and I chuckled as I sat back and moved the palm of my hand to my forehead, then ran it back through my hair.

‘Yup. Definitely “tasty,”’ I replied, almost cheekily. I kept my eyes off her when I said that, looking in fact at the remaining box of chocolates. When I did look back to her, I saw she was still smiling, which made me laugh more. ‘Think I better…’ I reached over to the box and moved the lid from the underneath to the top, to cover it. I saw her pout briefly though shrugged it off and moved her legs out from underneath her, and looked towards the movie, somewhat perkier and smiley than she had been before.

CHAPTER 6: Warming Up to Red

I walked into school with a spring in my step. Literally. I was bouncing off the walls, the ceiling, even the floor. The past few days had had both bad and good qualities, but last night had topped everything I'd ever experienced. Even with Angel.

I pushed both library doors open and bounced in, my bright blue mini and pink cami top seeming efficiently and appropriately relative to my attitude.

I saw Faith, sparring with Willow. What a sight. They looked so great, in their own individual, unique, COMPLETELY different ways. I dropped my bag on the side counter and continued approaching them. I saw Faith was stretching out her hand and wiggling her fingers, and Willow was containing a blocking stance. A very good one, at that.

'Hey, guys. Isn't it a bit early?'

Willow shrugged. 'I wanted to get an early start and Faith offered to meet me here.'

I raised my eyebrows, smiled, and looked to Faith. 'I love that attitude.'

Faith shrugged and then moved back into a blocking stance, looking directly at Will, focussing at how she contained herself. Such piquancy. She looked at it strangely. Not, what would she do next? Not, how could she get her on the ground? Not…what was her soft spot? The question was…how juiced would she be to throw such a hot punch?

Faith saw it as some sort of game…I'm sure. And she somehow always won.

'Never can be too prepared, huh, B?' Was that a sentence filled with subtext and subtext on top of that? I huffed out a little and smiled warmly, standing back, deciding to watch them spar for a while.

Willow was very good. I'd never really seen her properly use martial artsian type moves on Faith but she was using them pretty well. She was a quick study. A very quick study.

I folded my arms across one another and smiled. 'Will, so how are you liking it?' She landed a backhander across Faith's face – something she had gotten FROM Faith – and grunted out a, 'I'm loving every moment…of it.' She threw more moves during that sentence but I only caught every other word.

Faith had to concentrate. I think she underestimated Will's…willpower. She was immaculate. Vicious. Almost as perfect as us. Right there with what to do next. She'd only been training a very few days.

'It's intense,' she continued. 'I don't quite get it but I keep at it.'

'We've been here since six a.m,' Faith chimed in as she fought. My jaw dropped.

'Wow. Well I had just about gotten to sleep by that time.'

Faith smiled. 'Somethin' keep ya up?' As quippy as I think it was supposed to be, my smile fell from my face.

Silence. Grunting…fighting.

'Oh, I er…no.' I sucked in a nervous breath. 'Just…you know…'

I looked around the room, deciding not to focus so intently on their sparring anymore, because Faith might think I was looking at her body, and perhaps today she'd notice my eyes a little more, and where exactly they travelled when looking at her.

I turned on my heel. Where was Giles? 'I'll be around, you guys don't need me,' I grabbed my bag and headed out, only to be stopped by Faith calling my name loudly, followed by a loud moan, and she blocked a punch from Will and shook her head, I think telling her to stop. I swallowed as I looked "blankly" towards her. 'You, me. Lunch. I need to…' She respired quickly as she used her finger to show a winding up motion.

I nodded. 'Okay. Will, you up for it?'

Faith closed her eyes and reached for her knees, and continued on correcting her breathing.

Willow shook her head. 'I have to meet someone who needs a bit of homework help. I said I would days ago so I can't back out now.' She shrugged and I silently thanked god that it would just be Faith and I, and Willow wouldn't be jealous.

'Faith already knew, she asked me this morning. About tonight's patrol, right? You can just call me later, right?' she said as she grabbed some water and her bag.

Faith nodded and made a "phew" sound as she stood up. 'Basically just meet at mine, at nine.'

Willow smiled warmly and looked out to nothing in particular. 'I'm pretty excited, patrolling for the first time…properly, fighting and stuff.' She "imagined" a few seconds more, then leaned towards Faith, and placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezed it a little. 'Thanks for training me, I really appreciate it,' her lips lingered on their instinctive expression as she walked past, and her voice, delivering those words…sounded as if she was…hitting on Faith??!?!?

I high-fived her as she walked past, and kept her hand in mine, and winked at Faith before turning and exiting with Will.

*****

'So how'd you like my recruit?' she asked as we strolled along the grassy knoll, past various other students.

I nodded and smiled. 'I was the one who let her in. I wouldn't have if I didn't like her,' I said jokingly, and shrugged. 'She has…'

She placed a hand on my upper arm as if to stop me. 'No lemme, lemme, say it.' She inhaled a breath as if to get herself ready for a spelling bee. 'Potential. Think she is one?'

I chuckled and shook my head slightly. 'I could've said it better.'

'But I said it first,' she said, pointing both indexes at me.

'I was born first,' I retorted as if to say, "I am just plain better."

She laughed. 'Oh, that isn't fair.'

We walked for a little in silence, just staring out, absorbing our surroundings. Until finally she spoke, and funnily enough, I opened my mouth to speak too. It came out, 'So for tonight's-oh…'

'About yesterday…errm…' I sighed and upturned a palm towards her.

I offer up my gift to share. Mine being the gift of silence. She smiled before continuing. 'It…doesn't matter. I think…what you wanted to say takes priority, right?' she said, looking at me, and I looked out ahead first, squinting my eyes from the blinding sun.

I chuckled timidly and played with my cuticles a little. 'Well…I was just gonna say…yesterday…night, was…'

'A game?' she finished…I think.

I nodded, my mouth presenting her with an "O" shape once again, my eyes immediately looking away, then a quick once-movement-of-the-head nod. 'A game,' I sighed out almost bashfully. We continued to walk in silence, then she sighed out loud.

'I just realised how you took that.' She chuckled short and moved her hair back behind her ears. It was glowing, and so was she. She reached out a hand to my upper arm to stop me walking, then moved it away. 'Listen, I'm…' I think she was searching for the right word to use because she was frowning and what not, making gestures with her hands. Sort of that circling motion again. This time with both hands. 'Greedy. I live by, three rules. Want. Take. Have. Simple as that. Then…' she shrugged and let her arms fall to her sides. 'I usually…discard. If it's at all possible,' she said, inhaling and raising her eyebrows as she did. She exhaled very slowly; I think a sign of a heartbreaking speech of how we would never be together because she didn't want me. 'It confused me, even more.'

'Faith, I-'

'No, I.' She raised a hand quickly to my lips to shush me, though quickly moved it away and her gaze fell. 'I'm selfish. And greedy. And I have no clue what I want.'

'Oh.'

She made a face as if to say "oops." I wanted the Hellmouth to open up and eat me. Of course she didn't want me. How could I be so stupid to think a girl like her would want someone like me? She was straight. And until Faith, I thought I was too.

'I see.'

There was silence, and I didn't know whether to leave or stay. My eyes tried to search for the answer in the grass. Finally I walked away from her, at first just focussing on getting away, then, on running my fingers back through my hair, then…bringing that hand back down to my mouth…then…the tears. I strolled. I needn't hurry. It's not like she wanted to follow me.

She stayed back, a hand over her mouth, gingerly. Her eyes seemed sorry. 'Ninety nine, per cent of the time,' she said to herself. 'You're the one per cent of the part of me that knows what I want.'

*****

Willow knocked on Faith's door and stood back, thinking I was already there. She waited a moment, then Faith opened the door. She seemed quite…dismissive of her being there. As if she had forgotten patrolling tonight.

Willow looked into the motel room for me, and looked back to Faith when she didn't see me. 'Where's Buffy?' she asked timidly, stake in hand, sense in the other. She stepped in after Faith nodded her head towards the inside of the room, and closed the door behind them.

'She couldn't make it.'

Willow turned to Faith and nodded, who seemed distressed. 'Oh. So it's just you and me, then?'

Silence.

'So we're not patrolling tonight, then?' she said, a little less enthusiastic than her voice previously was. She sunk down to the bed and put the stake down. 'I should've known.'

Faith's forehead creased. 'Should'a known what?'

She sighed. 'That you didn't want me there.'

Faith rolled her eyes and sat beside her on the bed. 'We love that you're with us now. Physically, I mean. I like…love, training with you, and you have amazing potential, which we established, and I personally can't wait until-'

'Am I a waste of time?' she asked, insecurely.

Faith looked into Willow's eyes. 'No, no, of course not, girlfriend.' Willow smiled upon Faith saying that. 'I want you to be with us. You know the three girls, we'll be a trio, you know. And then, the Bronze.'

'Really?' She seemed so hopeful, listening to Faith's previous lines. 'I…I actually like the Bronze, as much as it seems like I don't, I-I do…and when I saw, you and Buffy that night, I-I wanted to…to be you guys, you know?' she explained as she turned to face Faith a little more. 'Like…I wanna feel sexy, and wear…tight clothes and-and leather! Oh and fishnets! Because I like tights!'

Faith pressed a few fingers to Willow's lips to shush her, and Willow immediately let her eyelids drift over her eyes.

'I wanna…I want…' Faith removed her hand slowly, and watched Willow intently as her eyes remained closed and she dreamed. 'I want you to…to do…the things you do to her…'

Faith immediately pressed her lips to Willow's, not letting her speak anymore, though she had drifted off so much she guessed she probably wouldn't say anymore.

She reached a hand up to the dip of Willow's neck and rested it there, and used her fingers to lift her face a little more towards her own. She was gentle, sweet, careful. Possessed that same amount of passion and sweetness in the kiss that we had yesterday.

When she pulled away she ran that hand on her neck, down along her arm, and down to her hip, where she straddled it gently, as not to alarm her. She did not smile, though gazed, directly into Willow's green pools, and she gazed back into her own chocolate ones.

'What are you…?' Willow said, barely above a whisper.

Faith shook her head a little. 'Just trust me.'

'I…I've never…' Willow began.

'Neither have I.' Faith concluded, softly speaking, her hand still at her hip.

Willow replied with a timid nod, repeated a good few times, and Faith nodded also, as if trying to understand this.

She used her other hand to move up Willow's body, and at first ran her hand along her stomach, then up, along her breast, further up along her chest, then up to her chin, up to her lips, then up, to her hair, where she pulled her ponytail out and let her red hair fall around her shoulders.

Willow smiled timidly. 'I didn't think you knew.'

She shook her head either, looking at how Willow's hair was so neatly around her face, yet somehow sexy. 'I only just realised.' She moved in to kiss her again and this time Willow wrapped an arm around Faith's shoulder. She grasped the back of her neck in her hand and massaged it, ran her fingers along it, just touched it, and responded to the feel of it. And as Faith's tongue slipped so softly, gently into her mouth, she moaned, and frowned slightly, as if this was right but…

…But what about…me?

*****

I sat up quickly, before shoving the sheets off me and hurrying out of bed. I had to throw up and I had to throw up now.

I watched the pretty contents of my stomach fall into the toilet, then sat back and let out an exhausted sigh. Then, after holding my stomach for a moment or too, I felt…moisture. Not…sweat… I lifted my top up, and saw…blood. I was bleeding. There was a HOLE in my stomach, bigger than a bullet wound, like someone had driven a barge pole through me, or a…a very…large…

I sat up rapidly, before throwing the covers off me and scurrying out of bed. I had to throw up, and I had to throw up NOW.

I winced as the contents of my stomach plopped into the toilet, and then stood back and leaned against the wall, keeping my tired eyes shut. I held my stomach…then paused…and breathed a moment. I had just done this. And my stomach…

God, I didn't wanna look at my stomach. I ran my fingers up along my stomach, it already turning from what I was sure I had just seen. I felt nothing. Nothing.

Nothing.

It was nothing. Just a dream.

I sighed and removed my hand, before turning to look in the mirror, but unfortunately, as I did, I saw blood on the floor. A pool of it. I lifted up my shirt quickly and there was a hole…cut out of my…it wouldn't stop bleeding…I was gonna bleed to…

I bolted up in bed, scared shitless at what I had just been through. My breathing was so surely the rate of a hyper ventilator, and I clutched the sheets as the contents of my stomach churned. I looked under the sheets, lifted up my shirt. My stomach was still there, no blood. Oh god. I was fine.

It was just a dream.

But I still needed to throw up. I pushed the sheets off my legs and hurried to the bathroom, where the contents of my stomach spilled into the bowl of the toilet. I clutched my stomach and breathed. When I opened my eyes I saw blood all over my hands. I yelped as I yanked up my shirt and my stomach was gone.

I opened my eyes and my hands gravitated to my stomach. I needed to be sick.

I moved at a quickened pace from my room to the bathroom and lifted up the toilet seat.

Wait.

I covered my mouth and lifted up my shirt. My stomach was fine. Though I couldn't hold the contents for very longer and watched as they fell into the toilet bowl.

I closed the toilet and sat on the lid. Just a freakin' dream.

My eyes were closed, and I rested my hands on my stomach. I moved to get up though slipped off the toilet seat onto the floor. I steadied myself, and pressed a hand down on the toilet seat to get me up, though I shoved myself away from the seat when I saw a pool of blood.

I lifted up my shirt, and for crying out loud-

*****

'It's a re-occurring one,' I told Giles as he flicked over a page of an ancient book and held a mug of tea in his other hand.

'Sounds like it.'

'It was disgusting.'

'Literally. You're losing your stomach. And every time, you say you lost it?'

'Yes. I vomited and it came out through my mouth.'

He frowned, looking at me. I think it disturbed him. 'Then it was gone?'

'Like a "Death Becomes Her" montage. It didn't hurt, though.'

'It's a message,' he said, pointing to a line in the book. 'Jordipe's messages can by encrypted in the strangest of ways. From a normal, straightforward dream to a foreshadowing of events to come – a, a premonition. It is the way in which the interpreter depicts it, that it affects the nature of the events – the, consequences.'

I nodded. 'It was well and truly sick.'

He looked at me once again. 'For lack of a better term,' he said before taking another sip of his tea.

'Of, c-Yeah.' I nodded and shook my head all at the same time. We were in the library, and it was Friday afternoon. I hadn't seen, spoken to or heard about Faith in the past few days. I had only been thinking of her, apart from last night's…dream.

'Did you jot down every detail?' he asked me, as he bookmarked the page he had read from.

I nodded. 'I was gonna let you read it but I wanted to actually tell you.'

'Doesn't seem like something you'd want to do.'

'Yeah, I know, I guess I'm not one for spilling my guts to-' At that moment in strolled Willow, with an "Advanced Chemistry" book held close to her chest.

'Hey, Buffy, how's it going?' she said, the usual perky way she would. 'You don't look so hot,' she said, her mood falling a little upon seeing my facial expression. Traditional "Spilled Gutsian."

Wait. Hot? Did she just say, hot? Willow never says that.

'She's been going through some psychological…dream…maze,' Giles told her.

'And to top it off, I don't have the stomach for it.' I nodded and watched as she sat down in a chair around the table with us.

'Well how did you interpret the dream?' she asked, tentatively, caringly.

I shrugged. 'That whatever it was, I didn't have the stomach for it.'

She nodded. 'What exactly happened?' I slid the book to her and flipped it open to the dream, and sat back.

Giles looked from me, to Willow, to the book, to his book, to me, to Willow. To me. Then to Willow again.

*****

I listened to the scuff of her shoes on the hardwood floor as she approached us all. It was obvious that she was in a good mood as she chimed in soon with the whole, 'How's it all hangin'?' question she always pops whenever she sees us together.

Giles opened his mouth to speak and Willow looked up as Faith spoke, a smile immediately coming to her face. She looked at me briefly, then back at the journal, and began speaking. 'Buffy had another dream.'

Faith smiled. 'Oh, what happened this time, did the big bad mean Pipe Guy barge pole you in your undies?' she said as she strutted to Willow and placed hands on either side of the table in front of her, and leaned extremely close to her ear as she looked at the book.

How could she do that? How could she just be there, and act like nothing had happened between us? It was eating me alive, every moment I saw her. Why would she want me? I was so stupid. But I still can't deal. And she's already forgotten.

Giles looked at Faith after taking a sip of his tea, and after a few seconds of eye contact, let out a chuckle. 'Yes, that would be the…abridged version, as it happens.' He rose him his chair and headed into his back office, to get more tea I think.

And I just watched her. How she chuckled as she so often did, and how her eyes skimmed each line…She was leaning in awfully close to Will, who…

I think my thoughts were confirmed as I watched her facial expression. She was enjoying the closeness. Her eyes were all adrift…fluttering almost closed…she'd forgotten about the dream.

So I was in competition.

Faith gasped as her eyes read over a line, and Will jumped and her eyes bolted open, and she glanced at me, then looked at the journal. 'What, what's up?'

Faith pointed to the line and I timidly leaned over, making it priority to avoid eye contact with her. After making such a fool out of myself I wasn't going to look her in the eye…ever again. If I didn't have to.

But that would be a hell of a challenge. I loved her eyes.

'"I ran my fingers up along my stomach, it already turning from what I was sure I had just seen. I felt nothing. Nothing. Nothing." So you were in sections?' She shifted her weight onto one foot and looked straight at me. So did Willow, seemingly timid...a lot more than Faith.

I glanced at Willow, then at Faith, then looked at my upturned palms resting in my lap. 'Yeah…' I shrugged. What did it matter. It was reality for me right now.

Faith scoffed. 'That's so freakin' nasty. So…what did it feel like, all…excruciating pain and…blood and guts-'

I raised my eyebrows and jumped a little at Giles closing his office door and returning with a fresh cup of hot tea and a few more books. She looked up at him too, and Willow also.

I broke the silence and stuttered a little. 'It was a dream. But it felt real. No pain.' I drew in a long breath and broke my promise. I stared right into her eyes, noticing Willow was looking at the journal. Faith looked at me and I think she understood me completely. For once.

'Oh. That's…nice.' She tore her gaze away from mine and sat on a chair beside Willow's, and almost immediately started playing with the tassles on her shirt.

She used to play with various items of clothing I had. If not clothes, then my accessories. I missed that and watching her play with Will's shirt was an athame to my heart.

'I have some dream interpretation books, I think it might be useful to look at them. Here…' He slid one to me, then one to Willow and Faith and he set one on the desk in front of himself.

'I think it could be a premonition,' Faith mused, then shrugged, and I looked up at her briefly.

'Thanks, Faith,' I said, I think very tired in the not bothered kind of way.

She clucked her tongue and flipped a couple of pages, her eyes intent on finding something on the pages before her. 'No probs.'

I watched Will slide her chair a little closer to Faith's, and then lean forward towards her, to take a "closer" look at the book. Faith didn't really react to that, although a few moments later she seemed startled and looked at Will, then smiled. Warmly.

My eyes were on them all the time. I couldn't really understand what had just happened but I was pretty sure Willow was hitting on her. I pushed my chair back a little, pretending to pull the book into my lap, and looked under the table where, alas! Willow's hand was on…Faith's…no…

They were holding hands? No…oh no…just Willow's hand on her thigh. Faith's thigh. Wait…Her hand was on Faith's thigh and she was LIKING IT?!

I cleared my throat and frowned, shook my head a little and pretended to be turning a page (which I actually did), and to my surprise they jumped and Will sat back a little, away from Faith.

So that's why she didn't want me. She wanted to be with Willow.

Oh.

I felt like hitting her over the head with my small, smelly brown book and crying at her, because she made me fall in love with her and then…kissed me, then told me she didn't want me…the next day. How rotten. No. that would be this book.

I raised my fingers to my nose and sniffed them slightly. They smelled of the book. I lifted the book to my nose and sniffed it, and as I looked up to think about what the smell was like I realised there were three pairs of eyes on me.

I let the book back into my lap, slowly, and smiled coyly. 'Mouldy book.'

Willow and Faith both nodded (in unison I might add) and Giles took a sip of his tea. I have to say that the slurping noise he made was less annoying than WILLOW'S HAND ON FAITH'S LEG!!! I bet they were playing footsy as well. Damn it. I was so jealous. The one person I thought no one else (out of us) would want and everyone wants her. First Xander…now Willow. Not Giles. I hope.

This was frustrating me. I had to get away from them. 'I've gotta go, actually,' I told them out of nowhere and closed the book with my left hand, then leaned forward and grabbed my journal with the right. I picked up my bag and slipped the books in and got up, headed for the door.

'Wait, Buffy, where are you going?' Will asked sweetly, smiling a little. As if nothing was wrong. I couldn't hate her.

'Class.' I continued walking and listened to my annoying heels on the floor, and the squeak of my leather jacket against my bag. The only comfortable item of clothing I was wearing was a black skirt. That I had borrowed from Faith.

I heard shuffling. 'I guess I better go too. Don't we have Literature first?' she called to me as I walked. I slowed and reached a hand out to the counter beside me.

'I don't care…' I trailed off, shaking my head a little, then quickened my pace and pushed the library door in front of me, headed out.

Willow frowned a moment, I think a little surprised at my attitude. She looked to Faith and shrugged. 'I'm free at lunch.'

Faith got up from her chair. 'Well, I'm…'

'No training today, girls?' Giles asked as he removed his glasses from his face and grabbed a handkerchief from his pocket to cleanse his lenses.

Faith nodded. 'After school?' Willow nodded in response, feeling satisfied at the decision.

'And…before I forget, what happened with last night's patrol?'

Faith and Willow looked at each other, then at Giles. 'Er…the usual,' Will said quickly, perky. She moved out of her chair, as did Faith, and began leaving, Faith pretty much by her side.

'See you soon, Giles,' Willow said softly, her voice echoing through the library. Faith waved at Giles and grinned before catching up with Will and grabbing one of her hands, and sliding a finger into her mouth so solemnly.

Willow laughed, vicariously…and Faith followed suit. 'So…' she began as they left the library. 'What did you think?'

'Of last night?' Willow asked, as Faith returned her hand to her. She looked out ahead of her. 'Amazing.'

Faith leant her head on her shoulder for a moment and whispered, 'I think it was so much more than that.' She moved away and flashed a grin at her, and Willow rolled her eyes.

'So, do you think Buffy knows?' Will asked, slowing a little until finally reaching her locker. Faith leant up against the neighbouring locker and cocked her head to the side a little.

'About…?' She made a hand gesture as if to say "between us." 'I dunno, I don't think so. Why should she?'

'I think she really likes you, you know,' Will said as she reached for her brush and ran it through her hair a couple of times.

Faith watched her a peaceful moment, her features softening at the sight before her. 'No. You know Buffy's only into guys, she wouldn't look at me twice.'

Willow nodded. 'Well I thought she was open-minded.' She shut her locker, having reached for a couple of books and a pencil case. They resumed walking and Faith watched her feet.

'Even if she was…she'd never look at me twice.'

'How do you know she didn't?' she mused.

Faith shrugged, moving her hands into her pockets. 'I don't.'

Willow sighed out. 'Everyone looks, you know.' Faith glanced sideways at her and Will returned that. 'Well, it's true. I've looked at…Buffy. Xander…he…I've looked at…you…and…' A soft laugh escaped her lips.

'When did you realise?'

They had walked out into the open front of the school and the sunlight was strong. Faith squinted as she looked sideways to Willow.

'I guess some part of me always knew.'

Faith nodded understandingly. 'Right.'

Willow asked the same question. 'When did you?'

Faith rolled her head a little. 'I just…I'm greedy. I'm up for anything you know?' They stopped walking and Faith looked right into her emerald eyes. 'I want, I take…then I have…and you…' she told her, beginning to move closer in to her now. 'You…are the one, I want…' She pressed her lips momentarily to Willow's, and Willow moved in to the kiss.

I couldn't believe what my eyes were telling me. I had told myself to go that way to avoid bumping into Faith but it just so happens, there she is. With my best friend. Her and Willow. Lips locked…

I didn't realise my jaw was open until they moved apart. I turned on my heel and headed in the opposite direction, forcing myself not to cry.

CHAPTER 7: Blind Train Me and You'll See

‘So how come you didn’t show?’ Willow asked as she twiddled her pencil between her fingers. She watched it, waiting for my reply.

I wasn’t even listening. All I could see in my mind was them…together…and me…they didn’t even notice me. I wasn’t that far away.

‘Buffy?’ she asked, looking up at me. I was sitting at the desk beside her, head in my hands, elbow on the desk. ‘Are you there?’ she whispered gently, and reached a hand out to touch my arm a little. I looked down at it, then up at her.

‘Sorry?’ I said, trying to sound perky, though failing badly.

‘I just…wondered about last night…patrol, how come you didn’t come?’

I looked into her eyes for a moment, as if I hadn't realised she’d finished asking her question. She craned her neck towards me and raised her eyebrows as if to say “Hello?”

‘Oh…erm…’ I frowned a little, and looked down at the pencil between her fingers…in that same hand that- ‘I-I wasn’t feeling too great. I…had…’ I paused, trailed off. ‘A…thing.’

Willow nodded slightly, searching me as if I wasn’t telling the truth. ‘Has it gone now?’

I nodded. ‘Sure.’ I looked immediately down into my books, which were all closed…then out of the window. I couldn’t face her right now. Knowing that they…my best friend and Faith. Anyone but Will, I would have been able to handle. But this.

Willow nodded once again and pressed her lips together. ‘We ended up not going, cos we thought, why bother, if you didn’t wanna come, and…like…my first proper patrolling we figured maybe it would be best if we were all there, like…all three of us.’

I hadn’t listened to any of what she’d just said. It was only when she tapped me on the shoulder again that I turned to look at her, my face blank, hers, confused. ‘Are you okay, Buffy? You don’t seem too…normal, for you. Today.’ She took a breath. I hadn’t expected to say anything so I didn’t mind when she continued. ‘Is it the dream? It seemed pretty nasty, I mean…re-occurring, nasty hole-in-stomach-ness doesn’t seem too attractive or…appealing…’ She thought for a second and I continued to watch her. ‘Is it not that? Is it me?’

I shook my head. ‘Er, no, it’s not you, Will. It’s me.’ The bell rung and I picked up my books.

Willow did the same and we both got up and exited the room. ‘I’m gonna meet Faith now, are you gonna come? We’re just going for lunch.’

I thought for a moment. I used to go with Faith to lunch everyday. ‘Maybe,’ I said as I offered a small smile. I guess it was too late to say “no” anyways, cos she had surprised us from behind…well, Willow, and grabbed her waist. She jumped and turned round, and they both laughed. I chewed on the inside of my mouth a little as I looked ahead at the moving bodies filling the corridors.

‘That was most probably the most boring morning of my life,’ she started as we resumed walking. ‘You know what I did?’

‘Nuh uh, what?’ Will asked gently as Faith walked on the side other side her, Will in the middle, me on the other side.

‘I couldn’t sleep thinkin’ about…stuff, so I was all walkin’ around thinkin’ of things to do, and I went back to the library and started reading about this demon-thing. I wished I hadn’t cos I asked G this ONE question and he went on for HOURS, I seriously didn’t think he’d ever stop. The only time he DID stop, it was to clean his glasses.’

Will laughed a little and we stopped as we reached our lockers. I dumped my stuff in and waited for Willow to as well, whilst Faith pulled her hair out and then pulled it back into a neater ponytail. ‘Well you know Giles, he loves his material.’

She closed her locker and sighed. ‘You wanna come, Buffy?’ Faith looked at me like I was the new girl and my eyes darted between the two.

‘Actually…I…better, go see Giles and see if he know anything about the…dream…thing,’ I said pretty quickly and before I knew it I had turned my back on the two and headed in the opposite direction.

Faith raised her eyebrows and Will shrugged. ‘She’s been acting a little weird today. I think it’s the dream. Spooked her out.’

*****

I lied to them but most of me didn’t care. I just had to get away from both of them. Even Giles. Away from this, stupid school. I broke into a semi-jog as I exited the school gates. Back to my house. Away from all of them. I just had to get away.

It was eating me alive. This feeling, that I had. For Faith. I didn’t realise how jealous I would’ve been if she had been with someone else. Willow in particular. But it hurt. And it hurt more than any pain I’d ever experienced. My heart was aching.

That night, me and her and the box of chocolates were a big fat joke to her. Maybe she wanted to make me want her even more so she could laugh at me behind my back at how pathetic I was. Probably.

And now Willow. She was having it off with my best friend. I still had that morning playing over and over through my mind.

I burst through my front door and hurried upstairs, into my bedroom. I slammed my door shut behind me and went to my bed. By now my mascara had left long lines of black moisture along the length of my face. I lay down on the comforter and cried into the pillow underneath my stupid head.

*****

‘I really don’t know, she just said it was her,’ Will said as they strolled along the road.

Faith moved her hands into her pockets and sighed. ‘She’s hardly said two words to me today,’ she said thoughtfully. She actually sounded hurt.

‘Oh, right.’ They walked for a moment in silence. ‘Come to think of it…do you remember, that morning, we trained?’

*****

As I walked down each wooden, dilapidated step, I felt as if I truly was letting it take the weight of myself upon it, everything I had, every strength, every bit of power I thought I might possess. The scuff of my shoes was apparent on the concrete floor, and as I thought I might be listening to that, I didn’t. Instead I listened to every little bit of my conscience. My pounding heart. My heavy but somehow immaculately silent breathing. The tears cries from behind my eyes just dying to escape through the tiny little gateways of my eyes.

As I walked to what I approximated as the middle of the floor, I lifted the thin long piece of material and wrapped around my pre-dominant sense of sight. I firmly created a knot at the middle of the back of my head, letting my lips depart a little, letting my breathing become heard.

I let my arms fall to my sides, and I swallowed. Then inhaled. Long, and slow. I was the only essence in the room right now. Just me. Me, my conscience…and my power.

I inhaled, long and slow, and raised my arm into a first position of…one of many routines and training procedures I had practiced. Though I had decided to attempt to do something of my own. Move through my own instincts and respond to whatever instinctive feelings I had experienced.

Although something was…strange. Unfamiliar. In that…I believed I was alone in the room. I couldn’t hear breathing, or movement. I could just sense.

Her.

I blocked what I thought was an arm from hitting my face immediately, and the only reason I moved my arm was because my instincts told me to block my face. The arm never came into contact with me, but I could sense it.

It was hers.

The palm of her hand soon collaborated with my stomach and I moved back slightly…I pulled the material off my eyes and scoffed. ‘Alright, enou-’

There was nothing there.

But I swear I didn’t imagine that hand.

I paced the room a moment, looking around every corner, up the stairs, at the window. No sign of anyone.

I sighed and replaced the blindfold over my eyes, began again. Except…this time…I could feel that energy, more than before. Connecting with me at this time.

I decided not to go against it, just…work with my instincts. And it was amazing.

I extended an arm in front of me, with my hand outstretched, as if to hit whatever energy was before me. I felt something block it. I hooked my free hand down, round in front of my body and up, and I think the energy was hit…as if it would have been, in the chin. I took a few steps forward, containing a blocking stance, before realising I had lost its closeness.

I turned my head to the side, as if I was looking over my shoulder, and outstretched an arm sideways, as if to hit the energy in the stomach, followed by a punch with my right arm, coming round my body, to where my left arm had previously been.

There was nothing there, but this energy. And although there was no real being there, I believed this energy was her.

It was as if we were training before. Just…an added element I had decided might make it a little more interesting. I moved back a step, before turning and arching my leg up into an outer crescent kick.

It all happened in what seemed as if it was slow motion.

The energy made a sound. I tore the blindfold off and looked around the room. ‘Alright, what’s…?’ I know I gave off a confused expression, I could feel it. It’s what I was. Confused. I couldn’t understand what the hell had just happened.

I took a deep breath, and put the blindfold back on. I resumed a “first position” and forced a forward punch in front of me, followed by a sideways hook with my left hand. I turned on my left heel and forced out a middle kick, letting out a small grunt at the lack of contact forcing my weight forwards. Normally I would be able to keep that weight between my feet and move back into the previous position.

I wasn’t focussing enough.

I resumed a blocking stance and inhaled deeply.

Then I heard it. Footsteps…scuffling…the breathing…I started to sense…her presence. Her real…presence.

I listened, just standing. Waiting.

Then I heard a voice. Her voice. ‘Now you can’t see me…I can’t see you…let’s do this.’ It was raspy as it always was. As if she’d just had a cigarette in her mouth. I didn’t mind but I’m sure her voice wasn’t naturally that way.

I didn’t believe that she was as blindfolded as me. But I inhaled and began anyway. And it was as perfect as I had imagined, behind the blindfold, behind my eyelids…in my imagination.

Just us. Fighting using four senses, not five. Not sight. It wasn’t needed.

Sound. Her breathing, her movements, I could hear them from the direction they came from. Even if the diverse sounds were less than inches apart.

I had to be cautious.

Touch. Each time she hit me, or I hit her, I could just know, what was coming next. As if I knew the future of every muscle movement. Everything that would be coming next.

Taste. I could taste her skill. With every inch of my very own pink tongue. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t see her. I could taste this talent.

Smell…I could smell everything she had planned. All of it.

And yet we fought. It must’ve been, ten…fifteen minutes of falling, of hurting of hitting of screaming. Perhaps the way I wanted her was finally getting to her.

Finally I slapped her, backhanded her with my right hand, and I jumped back, tore the blindfold off my eyes and hurried to her. ‘Faith, no…I didn’t…’

She was just as I imagined. Very nearly face down on the ground, only her hands supporting her as her feet gave from the intense push of my action.

And she had a blindfold. Although now it was in her floored hand.

I took her hand in mine, that had moved to grasp the spot of pain. ‘It wasn’t about fighting,’ I whispered, my hand upon hers, that was upon her red cheek.

At first she was just panting. Catching her breath, looking over at that little thing over there on the ground. I didn’t know what. Then her eyes gravitated to mine. That’s right. Gravitated. My gaze upon her made her look at me.

‘Who said it was?’ she said through many breaths, her forehead ever so slightly creased.

‘No…I don’t mean that…’ She moved into a more comfortable position, crouching down as to get all her weight off her other hand.

‘Then, what? You can’t physically push me away so you do it mentally instead?’

My eyes opened wider. ‘What? Push you away? I don’t understa-’

‘Why don’t you want me?’ she said, her voice sounding as if it were about to crack…as if…I…had hurt her.

CHAPTER 8

I backed away. ‘Why don’t I want you?’ I raised my eyebrows. I could feel tears threatening to challenge each other for who could reach my chin the fastest.

She got up and moved from foot to foot a little. ‘Yeah,’ she said after breathing a little.

I turned my back on her, beginning to walk away, and let out a rush of air through my mouth, dumbfounded at her words. ‘Faith…you…’ I turned back to face her. I was about to yell some full blown speech about how she was with my best friend and how I was not the one with the lack of wanting. But I couldn’t. Because she…’C’mere,’ I said, and she immediately did. I moved my hand up to her face, to wipe away the tears there, and her cheek moved into the palm of my hand, and her eyes threatened to close. I pursed my lips as I wiped the tears from her eyes, then ran the back of my index finger along her reddened cheek. Where I had hit her. Really hard. ‘Faith…I never…’

‘It’s okay. I understand.’ She took a breath and I moved my hand away. She shook her head, as if she was mad at herself. ‘Shouldn’t have said anything.’ She frowned and I looked up at her.

‘No, Faith, it’s okay.’

‘No, B it’s not. The other day, I blew you off and I didn’t mean for everything I said to come out the way it did. But it did, and I can’t change that NOW.’ She had tried to explain herself and done it well. I felt as if I should jump her right now, as my inward notions of excitement danced around in my stomach, of all places. ‘I blew it. That’s it,’ she muttered as she did something with her lips, licked over them, pulled them into her mouth. Nervousness. Maybe?

I let out a little noise before pulling her over to the steps. I sat down and she sat beside me, on the same step. I turned to face her and she, me.

‘Faith. I’ve…you know, I…was upset that day, because…well…I honestly, wanted you to say that that night was wonderful. But you didn’t and I felt like crap for getting my hopes up, which…’ Her face had lid up. ‘…Which I thought would make me feel stupid for making such a big deal out of it. Faith, I’m a Slayer. You’re a Slayer. We’re Slayers. We’re girls, who-’

‘Girls, right. We shouldn’t be together. Of course. Stupid me.’

‘No, Faith, what I’m trying to say is…we are the Slayers. You and me. We have a connection. A physical…mental…and I’m hoping an emotional connection. I thought that you got me, and I thought I got you, but when all that happened and then you said you didn’t know what you wanted I felt so stupid for thinking that that was the way that it worked.’

She sighed loud and rubbed her temples for a second. ‘I’m such a screw up.’

‘No, you’re not, Faith. You’re a very talented, very special…very sexy Slayer.’

‘No, you know what, B?’ she said as she shuffled a little in her position. ‘There was one per cent of me that knew what I wanted. And even though it’s just one per cent…I knew I wanted to be…’ She nudged me a little. She didn’t need to say the words.

‘You’re lying.’

She sniffled. ‘Does it look like I’m lying?’ she said, releasing a little laugh at the same time.

‘So…you planned that, thing?’ I asked gently, as not to coax her from looking down into the palms of her hands.

She looked up at me anyway. ‘The chocolate?’ I nodded and she followed suit. ‘Just a little bit, yeah.’

‘I thought you were…’ I started, hoping she’d catch on.

Faith shook her head. ‘Well…I did too. Then there was…stuff…I met…a person…’

I sighed. I knew what was coming next. I raised an eyebrow for a second and cocked my head to the side as I ran my fingers along the creases in the palm of my hand. ‘Yeah, I know…about that.’ I looked down as to avoid her eyes and she moved.

‘Really? Because that makes it a lot easier. I mean I thought “no way can ONE girl turn you,” but meeting you was like a whole new…’ I raised a hand to her arm and rested it there a moment, looking into her eyes. She looked as if she’d been caught off guard. ‘…Thing for me.’

‘Meeting me?’ I repeated, slowly, carefully. Just to clarify.

Her eyebrows, which didn’t seem frowned, released as I said those words. She nodded timidly and I immediately moved in to kiss her. Whether or not she was ready for it, I didn’t care. I just had to kiss her right now. Any thoughts about Willow and Faith had been pushed to the back of my mind. Right now, I just wanted to bask in the brilliance of me. And her.

I pulled away. ‘No, no, I can’t do this,’ I told myself and moved away.

She sighed and dropped her hands in her lap.

‘It’s just…you and Willow, and she’s my best friend and as much as I like you I can’t do this to her, and I mean, it’s Will I couldn’t hurt her like…’ She put a hand up to me.

‘Whoa, whoa, whoa…WHAT?!’ She shook her head a little and opened her eyes, looking to me as if I’d just told her she was in fact born with five feet.

‘You and Willow.’

She raised her eyebrows. ‘Me and Red?’ she said, then frowned a little. ‘What are you talkin’ about?’

‘Don’t fool with me, I saw you guys kissing outside the-’ I said, pointing behind my shoulder with my thumb.

By this point she had sat back, nodded her head a good few times. ‘Willow needed some of my help.’

I screwed up my face and moved back a little. ‘What?’

She chuckled. ‘The night we were all supposed to go patrolling, and you didn’t show?’ She licked over her lips and I nodded. ‘She stayed at my place for a while, kinda…asked for some lessons. Said she er…wanted me to do…’ she continued as she started looking at my hair. ‘I erm…she wanted to learn how to be more…like…me…and I just thought I’d give her a little guidance. She said she needed confidence.’

‘So you get together?’

‘Not exactly. I don’t mean I wanted her to look like the school le…uhm…well it’s complicated. She needed some help and I did exactly that.’

*****

‘What are you…?’ Willow said, barely above a whisper.

Faith shook her head a little. ‘Just trust me.’

‘I…I’ve never…’ Willow began.

‘Neither have I.’ Faith concluded, softly speaking, her hand still at her hip.

Willow replied with a timid nod, repeated a good few times, and Faith nodded also, as if trying to understand this.

She used her other hand to move up Willow’s body, and at first ran her hand along her stomach, then up, along her breast, further up along her chest, then up to her chin, up to her lips, then up, to her hair, where she pulled her ponytail out and let her red hair fall around her shoulders.

Willow smiled timidly. ‘I didn’t think you knew.’

She shook her head either, looking at how Willow’s hair was so neatly around her face, yet somehow sexy. ‘I only just realised.’ She moved in to kiss her again and this time Willow wrapped an arm around Faith’s shoulder. She grasped the back of her neck in her hand and massaged it, ran her fingers along it, just touched it, and responded to the feel of it. And as Faith’s tongue slipped so softly, gently into her mouth, she moaned, and frowned slightly, as if this was right. She pulled away and smiled. ‘You’re doing nothing wrong.’

She rose from the bed and moved to the counter, to re-apply her lipstick. She turned to face Willow, who had huffed and moved further into the bed. ‘But…I just…I get so…’

‘Don’t tell me you’re scared.’

She shrugged and looked at her putting down the lipstick on the counter.

‘Want some lessons?’

Willow paused in thought. ‘What kinda lessons? Like how to be like you…and Buffy to get a guy like Angel…or…’

‘Okay I said lessons. The rest is up to you. But in truth it’s not in how good you kiss – oh, good…by the way – or what you do when you kiss – oh, also…very nice with the neck thing, that was a sure juicer – I think it’s the way you are like…with confidence.’

‘Oh.’

‘I’m gonna think of a couple of activities for the next few days, like…things that might take you by surprise and you have to play along with them, as if…well…you’ll see.’

Willow nodded and got up. ‘Like, what?’

Faith scrunched up her mouth a moment. ‘I dunno yet.’

‘Oh. Okay. Well I guess I better…split, huh?’ She gave Faith a look as if to say “I can use cool vocabulary” and Faith raised an eyebrow for a moment.

‘Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow…oh but first…’ She got up off of the bed and grabbed her leather mini. ‘Wanna go to the Bronze?’ She licked over her lips and raised her eyebrows. ‘Just to…let off some juice.’

Willow smiled. ‘Oh, but I don’t have anything to…’ She realised as Faith waved the leather in her face.

*****

‘Alright, but how do you explain outside the school?’ I asked as we walked into the kitchen, her slightly behind me.

‘I was teaching her some confidence. Girl needed to learn how to “not care” about what the people around her thought. Otherwise she wouldn’t be able to get on with her job, if she’s coming on patrol with us. You know how it is, she gets all nervous around people.’

I frowned a little as she passed me and sat on one of the kitchen stools. ‘Yeah, but…’

‘I can’t believe you actually, thought we were…’ She made an eyebrow thing and her eyes darted around a little as she searched for her word. Or…didn’t.

‘Yeah, I know, I guess I just…’ I felt silly. No I didn’t. What about the leg? ‘No, cos in the library she was touching your leg and you didn’t do anything about it. You liked it.’

Faith shrugged. ‘Of course I liked it, she’s a hot girl touching my leg.’ She chuckled a little and one side of my mouth tugged up into a smile. I folded my arms across my chest.

‘I feel so stupid,’ I said softly, looking down into the space between us, though I shut up fast as she reached both arms out to me and pulled me in close to her. She departed her legs and I stepped in.

‘Ey.’ She shook her head. ‘Don’t.’ I loved how she just about pronounced the “t” on the end of that don’t. Like a scratchy, “bitchy” type of don’t, that could also be seen as a “fed up and tired” don’t.

‘But I was-’

‘I’m serious, I’m the one that should be feeling stupid.’

Silence. I was just watching how her eyes were so pure, so sincere at that moment. She was filled with a newer light that I hadn’t seen in her before. Ever. I hadn’t thought to look there. Even with that kiss, days ago. How gentle she was. It didn’t occur to me that she was full of thoughtfulness and sincerity that was really making her a gentle being inside. How could she let me see this now? How did I know this from just looking into her eyes? Was it because she let me see?

‘You can be, so amazing, do you know that?’ I said, chuckling out a breath as I said ‘amazing,’ my throat constricting due to tears that I think were about to challenge ME. I shook my head a little as I looked at her, and she looked right back at me. At me.

I unfolded my arms and wrapped them very slowly, very carefully around her, as if scared that she could turn any moment, change her mind. Although when I leant my head upon hers, I felt her arms moving to the small off my back, beginning to embrace me. So she really did want me.

CHAPTER 9: Every Single Part of Her

As much as I would have wanted to remember every single moment from now until what I imagined would be tomorrow morning, these moments were a blur for me.

First it was the kissing. Slow as it was before. She leant her head up towards mine and I leant into her, her warm embrace more inviting than it had been just a few minutes ago.

Her gorgeous warm lips pressed against mine…parched. That’s what I was. Thirsty. For her. And to think, all this time she really did want me.

There was something so comforting in the way her hands straddled my waist that I didn’t wanna move from her touch ever again.

This time it was her tongue that begun exploring my mouth, carefully…I think perhaps this time she was nervous. I slid a hand gently, down her back round to where one of hers was on my waist as we kissed, and entangled five of my fingers within five of her own. I pulled back first, inwardly growling at myself for ending the kiss. I looked into her eyes, scared for a split second that she might be tricking me once again.

I moved back further, our fingers remaining together. ‘Come on,’ I told her, just slightly above a whisper. I smiled a little, and the glow in her eyes told me she would follow.

She did just that. I could feel her eyes, for the first time, openly willingly on me, as I climbed the stairs, one by one, with her just a step behind me.

She knew exactly where we were going. And I couldn’t wait any longer to be there.

The moment she set foot inside my room she pulled me back to her, this time almost greedily forcing her lips against mine, causing me to release a slight whimper.

I pulled back just once more, letting her feel how it ached to be deprived of the touch I longed for, for so long. I pulled her over to my bed and sat down, looked up at her with almost innocent eyes.

She looked down at me, this wonderful Goddess, a whirl of emotions that had finally come out to me, the one she wanted them to. And for once I could see it all in her eyes. The hurt, the anger, the pain. The frustration.

The love.

She stepped in towards me and I gripped the comforter beneath to push myself further in towards the bed. Soon she had come to kneel down onto the bed, and sit in front of me, the entire time our eyes searching deep within one another for something I had no idea she’d had until today.

She moved in towards me, gingerly, almost scared, I think. I intended to be non-responsive at first, just waiting, waiting, and waiting, until she was so close that like before, I could feel her breath upon my skin, and the sensation I would get from that. The tingling. Oh, the tingling.

I let my eyelids fall closed, and my lips depart, as she moved a hand to push back a stray hair. I think I felt her eyes watching it as she pushed it back behind my ear, and as she retreated her words were somewhat scorching. ‘I’m…I’m scared,’ she said through a timid exhalation, and I frowned a little, let my eyes open and looked into the chocolate whirls that were her eyes. So deep, so intense. Filled with so many emotions I had never realised were there before.

I could see what she meant, immediately. I couldn’t make fun of this, because…I could see what she meant. I could see what she meant because…I felt exactly the same. Every…motion, every look…every breath.

I turned to face her even more. ‘Faith, I know.’

‘No…’ she began. She seemed…almost tired. Fed up. She pulled her hair out of its tie-back and I felt just that little bit more aroused at watching how it fell down around her face. She ran her fingers back through it and looked down, at the tie back in between her fingers. ‘This is…important to me. Like…I’ve never…I’ve never…’ She trailed off each time, looking down throughout.

I moved a hand to her chin, and used my index to move it up slightly, to make her look at me. ‘Listen,’ I began gently. ‘It’s alright. I know what you’re feeling, because, I feel it too.’

I think I could see tears welling up in her eyes, and the anxiety behind them at that. ‘It’s…not that,’ she said, still, sounding breathily frustrated. She tore her gaze away from mine and looked at the space in front of us, towards the end of the bed. ‘I just…’ She took in a breath and I moved my hand to her arm, stroked upon it lightly. Just to let her know she could take her time and I wouldn’t rush her. ‘I just…I wanna…’ she continued, and looked back to me, her eyes still scared. More scared than I had ever seen them. ‘Love…you.’

I felt my eyebrows un-crease, having no recollection of them being creased to begin with. I couldn’t believe how calm I was with this at first; then I realised…I was the one being calm, being… ‘What?’ I asked her lightly, leaning towards her slightly.

She smiled a little and shook her head. ‘It doesn’t matter-’

‘No, Faith,’ I said, gripping her hand a little and I think for the first time I really did feel as if I was the stronger Slayer. The one…in control. ‘It matters.’ I shuffled a little and moved my legs into a more comfortable position, closer to her. ‘It does matter.’ I paused, looking into her eyes still. ‘Of course it matters.’

‘But I’m such a screw up, I don’t wanna hurt-’

‘Shh,’ I began, pressing a finger lightly to her lips. I saw a tear begin to tumble down her cheek and I immediately moved in to catch it with my lips. I let them linger there a moment longer, before retreating. ‘Faith,’ I whispered, my lips still mere centimetres from her face.

I sensed her eyes were at her hands again, and she hummed a little, I think trying to keep herself from crying.

‘I wanna love you,’ I said, still there, beside her cheek, my eyes almost zoned out. I moved back a little, and saw her eyes move up to meet mine, followed by her offering the most timid smile I’d ever seen her offer. I replied with a gentle nod, feeling tears begin to well up in my eyes too.

She moved in to me and embraced me, laid her chin upon my shoulder, then kissed the skin there. I felt her arms wrapping around me tight, as if she had waited for a hug from someone for too long, and this was finally it. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders, her hair at them, my fingers in them. I inhaled long, just…absorbing this moment, her scent. Everything around me was perfect. Just for one moment. For once, the silence was a good thing. I liked it. Although a part of me was nervous at what she would say next.

Perhaps now would be the right time for me to tell her everything. I opened my mouth to speak, just exhaling first, hesitating second. ‘I love you,’ I whispered, and feared my words were inaudible.

Then she was really crying.

I pulled back, and looked at her. ‘Why are you so sad?’ I asked her, my voice so quiet, barely above a whisper.

She shook her head slow. ‘No one’s ever said that to me before.’

I inhaled slow, feeling a little awkward. I did love her, but…I had no idea.

I sat for a moment, just watching this wonderful woman break down before me. Then I finally gathered my senses and spoke. ‘Do…do you want me to hold you?’ I asked, fearing my voice was too innocent.

She looked up at me, right into my eyes, and I was scared again. My stomach did flips as she watched me watching her, then finally, she nodded.

I nodded in my mind and pressed down on the bed at first, rearranging my legs so that they embraced hers, then, my body. I slipped my arms ever so slowly around her, taking note of every curve I had never touched before. I laid my forehead against hers a moment. ‘Hey,’ I said, gently, with a smile.

She sniffled a little and looked into my eyes one more time.

‘I do, you know.’ I licked over my lips and planted a slow, long kiss upon her forehead. ‘Love you…I mean.’ I wrapped my arms tighter around her, my gaze ahead of me, toward the door. I warm smile came to my lips and I let my eyelids fall closed.

And all I saw was her.

Faith.

*****

I think this time it was Faith who was scared of what would happen between us next. I awoke to the sound of nothing. Just pure nothing. No…clock ticking, no owls cooing, nothing. It was still dark.

I listened to the screeching of the sheets as I moved across them and out of bed. It seemed as if we had both fallen asleep, although how and when were both escaped facts from my mind.

I walked careful steps along the upstairs hall, then step by step, downstairs. My eyes were open enough to check out every corner of the room I was in, every little piece of furniture.

I can’t explain why I was so alert. But I just was. I held the wall as I walked around it, into the dining room. And there she was. Sitting. Up. At the table. Her elbows on the table, her arms, her hands supporting her chin. She had entangled her fingers in one another, leant her chin on them and was looking directly ahead of her, as I could see from this sideways view. I don’t know what she was thinking about. All I can say is that it must’ve been intense.

I paused in my tracks and folded my arms beneath one another, inhaled and leant against the wall. She didn’t notice me fore a good minute, at least. But as she looked round at me I can say her face was the least, expressionless.

Mine too. I knew I had no expression for her to see. I think I was trying to understand why she was so intently awake.

‘I didn’t see you there,’ she uttered pretty quickly with a nervous chuckle.

I unfolded my arms and stepped further into the room, beginning to approach her now. ‘Oh, I, just…wondered where you went to.’

She stayed silent, and nodded towards me a moment. Her eyes wandered, however, as if she had been somewhere and chose not to tell me.

I perched upon the dining table edge, looking down at her vulnerable form. I ran my fingers through the stray pieces of hair hanging in front of her face, pushed them back to allow me to see more of her face.

I crossed my arms and looked at her. ‘Can’t sleep?’

She sighed and shrugged. I don’t know if she expected to answer me. I was a little surprised when she did. ‘I couldn’t stop thinking.’

I sighed to myself and pulled back the chair beside her and sat upon it, it’s wooden form creaking beneath me slightly as it took my weight. ‘Anything you wanna share?’

She shook her head and moved her chin back to her hands. I licked over my lips watching her decide this, then moved a hand to her lower back, just to comfort her.

I didn’t realise it before, but I think she had been thinking about what I had told her before, when she cried.

‘You can talk to me, Faith, I’m not gonna hurt you.’

She pressed her lips together for a moment and then looked towards me. ‘Believe me, that’s not what I’m afraid of.’ Her voice sounded breathy, light. She sounded tired, still, and I didn’t blame her. I had no idea what time it was but I knew that it didn’t matter. Day was day. Night was night.

‘So you’re afraid of something?’

More silence. It was difficult when it came to Faith. Most of me thought I could understand her but it was when I realised one thing meant something completely different I had to re-evaluate everything she’d ever said to me.

‘I’m just scared.’

‘Scared of what?’ I didn’t understand why she would be scared. What of? Demons? Us?

‘Everything I ever do.’ She drew in a breath and sighed it out slow before continuing. ‘My entire life has been a mess, and I’m just so scared that this is gonna be something else to add to my track record.’

‘This?’

Silence. She looked at me and I could see the moon reflecting in her eyes. ‘Us. If you…want there to be an us.’

I nodded. I tried to offer a smile but it seemed she turned away from me before I could.

‘O-Of course, I do, Faith,’ I said in a broken up exhalation. I was worried. Usually Faith would be so confident about being with a guy, it didn’t phase her in the slightest. ‘But what are you scared of?’

Silence.

‘Faith, you can’t keep bottling up your feelings to me, please, just tell me,’ I whispered, my hand still at her back. I could feel the movement of her breathing through that and even though it was gentle, calm as it should be, something inside me said really she was screaming.

‘I don’t wanna lose you,’ she said, and I just about heard it. Her voice was so tiny, tiniest I’d ever heard it before, barely audible. I think she was beginning to cry again, and her words were lost by her swallowed breaths.

I frowned a little and moved closer to her. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’

She sighed out and shook her head. ‘I’m not so sure about that.’

‘What?’

‘Erm…nothing.’

I didn’t realise I wasn’t breathing until I finally took one of her hands in mine and looked into her eyes. ‘Faith? You see this?’ I looked at our hands, then her eyes. ‘This is me, bound to you. I’m not going anywhere. I promise. I won’t leave you. And whatever you’re scared of – you screwing up, me screwing up – whatever…I love you, Faith. And I can’t just walk away from that.’ I inhaled. ‘I don’t wanna walk away from that.’

I didn’t really know why I had just told her all of that. It’s not that I wasn’t sure of my words, but…I don’t know. Something tells me, she didn’t need assuring.

But as she moved in to me, planted her soft lips upon mine, everything melted away. All the rising pain of fear and hurt I had, everything that worried me, and once again there was just Faith. That’s all I needed to know. That she was here and I was with her. That’s all I wanted. And I was satisfied. I moaned in response to her lips; then her hand upon my leg, leaning in towards me. She was so goddamned gentle. Completely different to the Faith I had learned. She was so perfect about it, so calm and indomitable. Made me wonder what made her so scared.

I still couldn’t believe how much power she had over making me tremble; just like that. Her touch made me shudder a thousand times over, made that special spot just soft enough to welcome her. I wanted so much for her touch so more that it made my nerves tingle and my flesh pimple. I could feel the once soft, now hard nipples beneath my shirt, and this was all because she had kissed me, and her hand had leant upon my leg, for support.

Then something made my body buckle and my eyes roll up. Her hand. Sliding. Up. Her hand was reaching up, inside my shirt, up my body. I couldn’t warm to the touch at first, because I was so scared. I knew what to do but I didn’t know how to do it. It slid round to my back and pulled me in closer, then we were standing.

I didn’t understand how she was so unnervingly calm about this. Just gentle, serene as she had been before. I wonder if I had been building her up as much as she had for me…everything was beginning to become a buzzing whirr of inebriation between my thighs, inside my body and I couldn’t control it. We moved back away from the chairs and towards the lounge, and before I knew it we were back in my room, the door was clicking behind me, and we were tearing clothes off of each other. Literally tearing. And as piece by piece they tumbled to the floor, I felt just that little bit closer the place I knew Faith was taking me.

And God forbid if this was going to be my heaven then my only wish was that I take Faith too.

Then for a moment we both withdrew. Both without an inch of cotton left, a shielding piece of material. Now we were both as pure before each other as we could be, and I let my eyes scan over every inch of her body for the first time, in her acknowledgement.

I reached for her hand and took it, ran it up my stomach, up along my breast. Then I withdrew, let her continue. And she was so perfect. There. Just knowing. Every single moment, movement, anything and everything I had every dreamed for, she gave to me.

Even as she departed my legs a little and manoeuvred herself between me, her hand running gently, smoothly along my inner leg, she gave me that ultimate sensation I had dreamed about for so long, from her.

My hips moved involuntarily towards her hand as her fingers plunged deep within me, and without reprimand I released a high-pitched almost lost whimper. I could feel my body drumming so loudly, drowning out the noises my mouth were making. I could feel the blood pumping crazily around me, flooding so fast that my breathing became quickened, uneven. As her fingers moved within me I clenched the sheets beneath me, and clamped my eyes shut, letting this up to four senses once more. My own body was becoming this powerful collection of pulses, innocuous and dominant over the soft strokes of two of her slender fingers.

‘Look at me,’ she whispered, so freaking gently that it awakened nervousness in me again. I did as she said, opened my eyes, released a moan through ragged breaths, straight into her eyes. This wonderful Goddess before me, so calm, resolute. Her fingers were pushing me further and further towards ecstasy and all I could do was let her.

‘Faith…’ I said through an exhaled sigh, and I grabbed the sheets tighter as she continued her pumping frenzy within me.

Her body moved in close to me and soon her lips met mine, gentle, calm, unwavering. I let out a moan into her mouth, on the edge of this cliff, telling myself not to let go. Not just yet.

Then she withdrew. Her lips. Her fingers. The motion stopped. I sighed out and just absorbed this feeling, not quite there yet, the feeling of depravation once more. I let my eyes drift closed and whispered her name. ‘Please,’ I continued.

Though she took hold of one of my hands, and moved it through the air, and soon brought it into contact with her own skin. I opened my eyes once again, seeing her expression as she pressed my hand to that sensitive spot. I sat up slowly, and she moved her hand away, to the sheets below. Her eyes drifted closed and I said a quick, breathy, ‘No.’ They bolted open again and I smiled a little. ‘Look at me,’ I commanded and I saw her swallow.

So there she sat, kneeling before me, me sitting in front of her, ready to go. She pressed down on the cool comforter with her hands on the sheets, on the verge of clenching them as I had done.

I slid one finger in at first, not slow, not quick. Then paused, watched her face. Her eyes were solid. They didn’t waver, but something told me she was as scared as I was.

Once I began massaging, carefully as not to coax her, I let out a breath I knew I had been holding. I sensed her fingers enclosing cotton material in the palms of her hands, and her blood beginning that same frantic journey mine had.

Another finger went in and she let out a moan, furrowing her eyebrows as she did. Soon I could feel her walls beginning to clench against my fingers and I sped up my movements. Her hips couldn’t keep still, starting this rhythmic motion back and forth, in sync with my fingers. ‘Buffy,’ she whimpered, taking her gaze away from mine, and I moved my free hand to her cheek.

‘Watch me,’ I whispered. She shook her head, and moved a hand to my busy hand, and I stopped my actions.

‘Together,’ she said through short breaths. And at once she moved her hand back to my entrance, departed swollen lips, pushed in and I shrieked. ‘God,’ I said at the quick motion of her sliding into me.

She let out a chuckle and I followed. ‘Together,’ I repeated and she nodded. And as we both began again and she moved in closer to me, rested her forehead upon mine, looked into my eyes, and I looked into hers.

We were both silent as we came closer and closer to the point we had strived for. And as Faith’s head moved back, face moving towards the ceiling, she began to shake all over, and me too, although I think she was more at release than I was. All at once she seized up, eyelids fluttering shut once again, voice light and thankful, her lower lip trembling, shiny.

Then it was my turn. I clenched my jaw as her pumping frenzy within me continued, as far as she was into ecstasy, though still at reality, for me.

My moans became rhythmic, with every exhalation, and as I tried to stop they became louder. I felt my face almost going into wince, and as her fingers pushed even deeper, almost into the hilt of me, I whimpered.

It was perfect. I let my eyes open and she was watching me, her hand supporting me, my hand clenching her shoulder. And I let out a sigh as this built up energy reached its highest point, then forced a tingling buzz upon me.

She lay down and I move upon her, and deftly, delicately, she enclosed me within herself. Wrapped her arms around me, entangled her legs within mine. I laid my head upon her chest and folded my arms up to my chest.

I let my eyes fall closed, let my ears listen to the calm of her heartbeat, let my senses absorb this perfect woman surrounding me. I could feel the rise and fall of her chest against me, and that calmed me. Almost sung me a lullaby. But it was her who let me sleep peacefully. Every single part of her.

CHAPTER 10: Volume Eight Thousand, Eight Hundred and Twenty-Four

I jammed the stake in his chest, being careful to keep my guard as I watched his former state crumble into an ashy pile of grey dust. I lost my stake. Crap. And there was another one coming towards me. Hard and fast. I moved out of his way and smacked him in the back as he went past, causing him to fall on his knees.

I could hear her across the way, fighting as hard as I was. And I could hear Will, fighting harder than both of us two put together. I twisted the vamps head off his shoulders and he too was dust. I sighed and looked over at the girls in turn. First Will. She was okay. She didn’t need my help, she had it all down. I think just watching her for two seconds I’d seen two opportunities she could’a taken to stake him. She knew she could have too. She’s a clever girl.

Then I looked over at Faith, yelling at the bastard as she backhanded him several times, then staked him right in his soft spot. She took a step back and sighed before looking up to find me looking at her. She smiled sweetly and her eyes glowed.

I heard Will yell followed by a thud, then I looked. Crap. The vamp had floored her. I hurried over and kicked him, sending him flying back, AWAY from her, thank god. Faith rushed up to the vamp and staked him, and I stayed at Will’s side, helping her up. ‘You okay?’ She nodded.

‘I think I might be concussed, though.’ I looked at where she’d landed. Very close to a gravestone. Her head could’ve hit it.

‘What’s my name?’

‘Buffy, I’m kidding, I’m fine,’ she said through quickened breaths of air. Faith approached us and Will put her free hand in Faith’s, we helped her up together. We resumed walking, Will between Faith and I, and somehow I found myself inwardly cursing at how she was. Why? We’d be alone later on.

‘You know, I’m really liking this…whole me, patrolling with you two, it’s fun and also, I kick ass. We all do…in a good way, which is good cos now, we can all…’

‘I thought you were out of breath, Red?’ Faith asked gently followed by a slight chuckle, and Will smiled.

‘I really do go on, don’t I?’ she said and we all chuckled.

‘So who’s up for the Bronze? I hear there’s a really great band playing tonight, I forget the name, but still, all three of us, getting’ d-’

‘As far as I’m concerned, I’ll get down, but no dirty. I have school tomorrow,’ Willow said and Faith and I slowed up and she walked on.

I smiled to myself and Faith tapped me on the arm lightly. ‘How ‘bout it, girlfriend?’

I contemplated her words for a second. ‘No.’

‘No? Why not?’

I looked up and cocked my head thoughtfully to the side. ‘Well…we have…’ I pointed to myself and mouthed “my house” as I watched her watching me. ‘…For that. Or yours…of course…’ I smiled and I could see now that her smile had turned into a shit-eating grin.

‘Okay, B. I’ll take you up on that offer.’ She sucked in a breath through her mouth, furrowed her eyebrows and shoved her hands into the back pockets of her dark jeans.

I knew she was about to say something, so I took the liberty of cutting in. ‘Lemme guess?’ She looked to me. ‘Juiced?’

She flashed me a grin, but I could see her blushing as her gaze fell and her eyes twinkled. She never blushed like that before, when she used to tell me that. She’d be all cool about it saying how she was itching to give one more vamp a big, bad “uhh” for dessert. But she was actually blushing this time, grinning as she watched her own feet walking, her hands tucked away from me.

*****

I sighed out a long breath as I looked over the words in front of me. What they meant, I had no idea. As if my brain was ready to absorb this right now.

‘I-It says that the messages could all be linked. And you say that you’ve had no more dreams since that-that stomach one, correct?’ Giles asked from his office.

I raised my voice to speak to him. ‘Uh, no, not that I can remember. I think if it was anything unusual I would remember it, but nothing.’

‘What about Faith? Has she had any dreams?’

I shook my head. ‘Not that I know of.’

He returned to the table with a box of books with a large book poking out of the top. I looked at it and frowned. ‘Is that useful?’ It was that “Vampyr” book…I didn’t like that thing.

‘Maybe.’

Actually I think it was a different one. Looked as ancient.

He sat down across from me and picked out the book, opened it. I looked over at it, trying to see the words on the page. It didn’t matter because they were all in a foreign-type ancient language. ‘Markings?’

He shook his head. ‘Not just markings. Ancient tribes used to draw what they saw. Messages from the Jordipe, in detail, as it seems. Could have some useful information, some…cryptic code that may come in handy.’

‘So these tribes…they were led into apocalypse?’

‘Well I’ve been trying to figure out what the pictures mean, but they seem so encrypted that it might take some sort of translation code to crack them.’

‘Well, lemme take a look, see if anything looks familiar.’

He slid the book across to me as I shoved my other one aside and I looked at the upside down book. ‘It goes this way, ‘ I recognised immediately. ‘This way round, you were looking at it upside down.’ I looked up at him and he looked at me confusedly. ‘There. They’re the marching men. That’s the stick thing they all had one of. And that’s where they were.’

‘How do you know?’

I shook my head and looked at the page indifferently. ‘I, don’t know I just do.’ I looked closer at the page to see if anything else looked familiar. ‘That’s the Jordipe.’

I have no idea how I knew that, but it felt strange, just being able to recognise it from looking at it for a second.

‘How do you know?’

‘Same way I’m guessing I knew all the other things.’ I drew in a breath. ‘Is this a journal?’

Giles shrugged. ‘Could be. It’s so ancient, all of the markings, words, whatever, are all in this code I have no idea how to translate. See, here,’ he continued as he turned the page for me.

What’s all this? I thought to myself as he started dragging his finger along the top line. ‘I think you’re looking at it the wrong way, Giles.’

He frowned. ‘You really think?’

I nodded. ‘Turn it this way.’ I turned the book sideways. ‘They will march forth into the gates of Hiashaa and shall be anointed by the Hal-hal-h…haalaakshaa…’ That’s a long word.

I looked up at Giles who was looking at me as if I had been learning this language my entire life. I shrugged. ‘What?’

He removed his glasses from his face and looked back at the book, trying to see what I had been looking at. Then he looked up, back at me. ‘How are you understanding all of this?’

I shrugged. ‘I don’t actually know. Perhaps it’s a slayer-thing…maybe I’m the only one that’s supposed to be able to read this.’

I hadn’t noticed her come in but as she leaned over the book, I immediately drew in a breath, taking in her scent. Same as ever. Vanilla and strawberries. ‘The only being to remain upon the Earth after the Himshalia will be the Slayer, who will not only consume all power but will be the strongest, most powerful evil-whooa that is heavy shit, who wrote that?’ she said as she grabbed a chair and sat beside me.

I sat forward and looked at Giles, who was looking at Faith in the same way he had me a few moments ago. I think he was baffled. ‘O-Okay…so you understand it too?’

She shrugged. ‘It’s written in English, Giles, why shouldn’t I be able to?’

His head did a “look back and forth Faith and the book” a few times before looking at me. ‘Is it me, is it just me or is that not in plaintext English?’

I shrugged. ‘It’s not written, written in English but the words are like English, I guess. See, if you read it this way.’ I dragged my finger along the page in the way I had started to read it in.

He let out a noise, still dumbfounded and then pulled the book towards him. ‘I don’t see it, how do any of these letters look like words to you?’

I shrugged. Giles moved the book in Faith’s direction. ‘Read-read it again, what did it say?’

She shrugged. ‘Just that the Slayer would be the only one left on the earth and would become the most powerful force of evil.’

‘Evil?’ I repeated.

She nodded a little and pointed to the book, seemingly laid-back about it. I read it in my head, though muttered slightly under my breath as my eyes scanned over the words. ‘So it does,’ I said thoughtfully.

I looked up at Giles, slowly, who had been looking astounded at us the entire time. I think we might have stumbled upon something.

*****

I let down my hair and lay across the bed, only my sheets keeping me from nudity. I flipped one of the wasted pages and tried to make sense of the words I was seeing. Faith had been downstairs getting us some drinks and had been a couple of minutes already, so I decided to get a start on reading this thing.

I closed the book again and just looked at the cover. I swung my legs round and pulled the sheets up to cover me, and I traced a finger along the embossed markings on the front cover. ‘The Ancient Laws, Volume…’ Eight thousand, eight hundred and twenty…four??? There were that many volumes of Ancient Laws?

The way this was written was weird. It was almost a picture, but not quite. The flow of the lines were what told me what it meant, but I guess it could also be seen as a picture of a spear of some sort. A weapon.

I flipped the cover over and looked at the first page, my eyebrows furrowed deep in my forehead. I think concentration really was beginning to take over.

‘She who reads must understand. They who write are to be taken seriously. “And after apocalypse, they will obey her.” What?’ I muttered to myself, the weird words telling me a further encrypted version of the book. It was in English, but apparently you needed a translation to be able to understand it. Cryptic. I hate cryptic.

I flipped a couple more pages. The way it was written was so strange. Not quite words, not quite pictures. In between where so far the most educated man I knew could not read it.

I tucked my hair behind my ear to stop it from falling over my eyes, and then moved my fingers to the page. They didn’t have any raised markings. Just…someone who had hand-written/drawn this book/journal thing.

I flipped a few more pages, taking careful note of how each page I had seen was laid out. They all created a larger picture of maybe a more “universally recognised” object such as a spear, a sword or a crown.

‘”In the end, she will rise above them all.” What the hell does that mean?’ I jumped as I heard the doorknob turn and then come to. It was just Faith but something was putting me on edge. My guess? This stupid book.

‘Hey, you,’ she said lightly as she carried snacks and drinks and various other stuff.

She soon met me at the bed and kissed my bare shoulder. I glanced at her, smiling a little, though that faded quickly when I looked back at the book. ‘Still buggin' over the Slayer being the ultimate evil?’

I shook my head a little. ‘This thing is weird. It keeps saying really cryptic things like “she will rise above” and “Haaimshalaalaa” crap, whatever that means.’ Something told me that I should learn the pronunciation of that word.

She wrapped an arm around my waist and hugged me. ‘Don’t worry about it, it’s just an old book someone wrote cos they had nothing else to do.’

‘Actually, no.’ I closed the book and listened to the big, huge “oomph” noise it made when it closed.

There was silence and all I could hear were our breaths. Then she spoke. ‘How many volumes are there in total? Like a million?’

I shrugged. ‘Probably.’

‘So this is all part of some kind of screwed up law?’

I shrugged. ‘I guess we have to read it to find out, huh.’

She nodded and moved back onto the bed, her expression shifting from work-related to play-related in the space of approximately two seconds. ‘But…can it wait…just a little while?’ she said, her voice sounding husky, playful.

I looked back over my shoulder at her near-naked form. There were honestly times I couldn’t believe she was sitting on my bed in a jog-bra and a thong. But there she was, hot and horny as ever.

I smiled coyly. ‘Just a little while?’ She nodded and pouted at me, beginning to twirl her finger on the bed space beside her. I chuckled and kicked the book off the bed.

‘Just a…little while, then? Not…a long while?’ I said, slowly beginning to make my way up to the other end of the bed.

‘Hmm. I’ll have to think about that one,’ she replied, her eyes looking at her twirling finger.

I reached for that finger and took it into my mouth, slowly licking over it with my tongue, before letting it out of my mouth again and moving it to my entrance. ‘Tease me,’ I told her, my voice sounding somewhat scarily lustful.

Her smile grew and mine followed suit. As her finger slipped in I let out a high-pitched shriek, my inhaling breath hitching in my throat.

I closed my eyes a moment, just to absorb what had happened then let them open again, to see her watching me. Her finger had paused within me, and now was beginning to move, back and forth, very tauntingly. Slowly, deep, she took every swift movement. Her face told me a story of, “We’re Just Getting Started” and her shiny lips told me her tongue was too excited to stay still in her mouth.

*****

‘”The voices shall be heard. And at once they will march towards their leader.”’ I passed the book to her.

She tucked loose hair behind her ear and I watched for a moment at the glistening skin below her jawbone. My lips wanted so much to kiss her there, just to taste her sweetness.

She caught me looking at her and smiled, then looked back at the book. ‘”All above shall, bow, all below shall rise.”’ She passed it to me and I smiled sheepishly as she did. My hand swept across hers as the book switched hands and I felt myself tingle. She still did it for me.

‘”There will be sounds.”’ I went to pass the book back to her, though she shook her head. ‘What?’

‘You can’t just read that, then pass it to me. Read the part underneath,’ she urged, pointing to the place on the page.

I scoffed and looked back at the book. ‘Okay.’ I sucked in a breath of air and sighed it out. ‘”No human shall survive. Only the One that is meant to. They shall march. She shall lead. She will go. They shall follow.”’

‘”All together they shall be united. As one…”’ She looked up at me, and I urged her to continued with my hand lingering at her waist. ‘”…Hell.”’

I took the book and swallowed, a little worried of the words that would follow. ‘”She will not fight. She will not struggle. She will not die, but become the ultimate immortality all demons and angels will envy. She will rule.”’

‘”They will follow.”’

We both looked up at Giles, who was looking at us as if we had…well…as if we had both been…how do I put this…never mind. He was looking at us with a complete expression of anxiety. ‘That is the most messed up version of apocalypse I have heard. Why would demons want the Slayer to become the most powerful immortality? She…you…two…work to vanquish evil, not work with it.’

I shrugged. ‘I dunno.’

‘Does it say anything else?’

Faith sighed out a breath of air. ‘I dunno.’

Silence. Giles removed his glasses from his face and the rest of it. I looked at Faith as he began speaking and she looked at me. I can say that Giles words were lost from the moment her opened his mouth because I don’t believe any of us were listening.

He disappeared into a row of shelves and I moved in close to her, to kiss her, and pressed my lips to her neck feeling immediately the warmth emitting itself from her body. She clutched the small of my back as I kissed her and then she let out a tiny giggle. ‘We gotta stop, Giles is gonna go mental if we don’t concentrate.’

I continued kissing her neck, though paused for a moment to say, ‘Concentrate? I am concentrating,’ I said, exhaling against the dip of her neck, then I moved in close to suck in her skin to my mouth, to bite it…just gently.

She moved back a little, as she cleared her throat, and sat back in her chair, as if trying to be relaxed. Giles was coming down the stairs with yet another big book. Thankfully he had already dipped into it and hadn’t seen us.

I glanced at the “relaxed” Faith before sitting back in my chair also, and pulling one of my rings off of my finger to play with it.

‘What I don’t quite understand is why they waited for eight-thousand volumes before publishing a copy of “The Slayer Shall Become Evil.” It just doesn’t make sense, why would they want a Slayer to rule them.’

‘Well, Giles, you can ease up on the contusion just a little, if ya want, I mean we’re not that rancid,’ Faith quipped as she slipped a stick of gum into her mouth.

I chuckled a little and watched him as he seated himself back in the chair. ‘Yeah, I mean why now? Are these some sort of prophetic journals that ancient peoples wrote? And why did they write them, why not just let it happen?’

‘Because perhaps they wanted to warn us, maybe they wanted to tell us something.’

‘Like perhaps maybe we shouldn’t turn evil?’ I said perkily and crossed my legs, sat forward, trying to see into his book.

‘Hmm. Perhaps.’

Faith sighed and sat forward a little too. ‘So what do we do, just sit back and let it all happen?’

*****

I drew in a nervous breath as we sat around the circle and Willow recited some Latin words from that same book we had been reading. Apparently this spell was supposed to conjure the spirits of those who wrote it.

Faith sat on the opposite side of the circle, Willow in between us two, Giles on the opposite side of Willow, again, between Faith and I. I glanced at her across the circle, but she seemed all too fascinated at how yellow orbs began to form to materialise a person.

‘What do we say?’ I whispered to Giles, the spirit still forming inside the circle.

Giles shrugged a little and outstretched a hand towards the spirit. ‘We need to find out everything we can about this apocalypse and why now, what’s so significant about it, why it has to happen.’

‘Geez, don’t think I’ll have enough time to ask all that,’ I muttered.

‘Well we need to get whatever information we can, period. Anything useful, so you must focus, after all, you and Faith may be the only ones able to communicate with it.’

Before I could get a chance to answer him, the spirit looked at me, its eyes horribly piercing, nightmarishly glazed over…white, bar the cloudy iris that pierced me. ‘Why did you summon me? Tell me at once,’ it ordered and I opened my mouth. Again, before I had a chance to say anything, it spoke. ‘You are the Slayer,’ it said as if realizing it only now, as if it had seen something new as I opened my mouth.

I didn’t really know how to respond to that. So I nodded. Faith alerted it to her by saying al at once, ‘Hey, me too.’

It turned to her, and looked at moment. ‘No.’

She raised her eyebrows and nodded a little, moving her eyes to the space in front of her. ‘Er…yes.’

He folded his arms and stood before her, looking at her as if she was some sort of parasite struggling to get back its dignity. ’That isn’t possible. Slayer’s can never exist together, not without the previous one dying first.’

‘Well I changed all that,’ she said, grinning slightly, moving her head as if to say “I’m totally cooler than you.”

Silence. He folded his arms and looked back to me. I inwardly cursed for him doing so. He crept me out. He had an ancient, raggedy, haunted look about him. Not particularly friendly, however not particularly threatening either. But still. That look was…intimidating. It constantly glowed, this aura surrounding his spirit-form. The glow wasn’t particularly inviting, more…blinding. But still. He was looking at me, expecting for me to say something, I assume because he didn’t move to speak.

‘You have read my volume of “Machmachra,” yes? That is why you called me.’

I looked blankly at him.

Giles cleared his throat and tapped my arm lightly. ‘He means that book that I couldn’t read.’

I nodded a little and looked up at him. He was still looking at me. I think I was scared. He looked as if he was going to possess me or something, I dunno. Had that creepy look about him

‘Oh, yeah. Did you write all eight-thousand?’ I finally said and he nodded his head in response.

‘I wrote nine-thousand, eight hundred and sixteen of them. My mentor wrote the first two thousand. My follower wrote the next one. All but three of them were destroyed. They possess vital information of every apocalypse that has taken place was recorded in these volumes, in anticipation of them happening again.’

‘So…this one about us, has happened before?’ I asked, finally gaining enough courage to look into his eyes.

‘Yes. In fact, that is probably the most well-known apocalypse, bar the “Ascension.” Because the erachnii have never been able to be destroyed, they will always try until they succeed. They have been defeated a number of times, however not destroyed. They may be trapped beneath the earth, but still they try. They will try to capture you, to exterminate the entire human race, just to be able to live on Earth, with you to rule them.’

‘What a stupid dream,’ Faith muttered, and the spirit turned to face her.

‘Riches you had never dreamed of will be at your waiting hand.’

‘But it’s not a good thing, right?’ I asked him, upon him turning to face me.

Faith scoffed. ‘I’d be rich, course it is.’

I frowned a little. ‘None of this makes sense. You’re saying that this has happened many times before? Have these…acne things ever succeeded in wiping out the entire human race?’

‘Nearly, once. I was one of the few handfuls of people remaining. We found shelter and safety deep below the earth, where the erachnii had left to be above earth. But our skin became torn with no sunlight or herbs to heal it. Our wounds never healed, our hunger never disappeared. Starvation, disease and darkness consumed us, leaving the volumes to be discovered by men who would destroy them, no good man left to protect them. In a way, yes, they did succeed. But something stopped their plan. My best guess is the only remaining human on the planet. The Slayer.’

I exhaled a breath I didn’t know I was holding. ‘Why would she let all of this happen?’

‘She wouldn’t. They mentally poison her, the strongest living mortal force able to protect them all. She is taken against her own will, forced to watch them kill every human being, her family, friends. Even innocents she’d never met, had no comprehension of.’

‘Why do they want to live above Earth so much, much less want a Slayer to rule them?’ Giles asked, looking to the spirit.

‘What strikes me the most is why the erachnii wanted a Slayer to so much as be present in their destroying of the human race. No one knows why they wanted a Slayer as their ruler. Why not the source, the First, a strong force of evil. Why a strong force of good?’

I glanced at Giles, then at Will. ‘I wish someone would listen to me once in a while.’

‘Giles, I don’t think he can hear you,’ I suggested. I had no idea, he could just be ignoring him, but I think that may have been a more obvious reason. I don’t even think he could see Will, or he would have at least glanced at them both by now.

‘So you think that this will happen again?’ I asked him.

He frowned. ‘As I said, they will always try.’ I didn’t have a chance to ask him anything more before orbs appeared and his form faded.

I looked at Giles. ‘How the hell are we supposed to stop an entire race of demons flooding the earth with no idea of how, when, why, where…’ I guess this was a point of panic.

‘Perhaps they won’t try,’ Faith suggested, shrugging her shoulders as she played with her fingers.

‘No, you heard the man. They always will,’ Giles answered, and reached for the candle before him, then blew it out. He rose and carried the candle to the table across the lounge of his apartment and rubbed his forehead as he leant his elbow on the kitchen counter. ‘Question is, is there anything we can do to stop it from happening at all?’

I looked at Will, who had gathered some of the ingredients, then at Faith, who had blown out a few candles. They both moved away from the circle, and I looked at the space in which had just been occupied by that man. ‘I really, really hope so.’

...continued in chapter 11...