A Chance in Hell
by Ophelia C.
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters and other familiars from Buffy and Angel belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, Fox, and everyone else that owns them.
Rating: The majority is NC-17 for torture and non-consensual sex.
Spoilers: Takes place after the Season 4 finale of Buffy and the Season 1 finale of Angel.
Notes: I’m just gonna warn you now. I am not a doctor. I don’t know very much medical stuff, just things from experience. I don’t pay much attention to ER and I’m too lazy to research. So, in other words, the medical stuff isn’t gonna be very accurate. Sorry. ||Denotes Flashback||
Thanks: To Nina, Anne, and Erin for BETAing.
Feedback: Yes please. I crave it. It's like a drug. Hate it or love it… I wanna know.
PROLOGUE
"So, when does Riley come back from Iowa?"
Buffy looked up at Willow's question. They, along with Tara, were sitting in Buffy's room in her mother's house. Their summer break had officially started about three weeks ago and they were enjoying it by doing... absolutely nothing. "I'm not sure. I think he's supposed to be back the first week of August."
"Do you miss him?" Tara asked quietly.
Buffy got a guilty look on her face. "Keep a secret?"
Willow and Tara looked at each other, curiosity etched on their faces, before they turned back to Buffy, nodding their heads vigorously.
Fidgeting at first, Buffy finally answered. "Well, actually, not that much. I was kinda expecting to just be counting the days with little 'X's' on the calender but... I'm not. In fact, I'm enjoying the break. It's almost like old times... but not." She sighed before continuing. "I don't know. I guess it's kinda that right now, there's no little reminders of the Initiative... no Adam, no soldier boys, and no military base." She looked up at them. "Does that make *any* sense?"
Willow and Tara looked at each other again. "Um... yeah, sure. Sense. Perfect sense."
Buffy eyed Willow for a second, not sure if she was actually serious or just humoring her.
"So," Tara said, interupting the silence, "Movie?"
Buffy went to respond when she was interrupted by the ringing of the phone. "Hang on," she told them, answering the phone on the third ring. "Hello? (pause) What? (pause) Yeah. Well, thanks for calling." She slowly hung up the phone, not moving for a long moment.
"Buffy?" Willow's quiet voice broke the silence, breaking Buffy out of her stupor. "Buffy, who was it?"
The Slayer looked at her best friend. "That was Angel." Her voice was barely a whisper and Willow and Tara had to strain to hear her. But they didn't miss what she said next. "Faith's dead. She... uh... she killed herself."
***Eight months later***
A bright light came from the old high school, but no one noticed. No one noticed anything at the old high school anymore, except for the Slayer, and she was in her dorm room sleeping. No one paid any attention to the old burned out building. At first, people thought they would build the new high school in the same spot. But months went by and the battle site remained untouched by human hands while a new high school was built across town, just a couple of blocks from the middle school.
Other than the flash of light, everything appeared normal at the school. But deep inside, in what used to be the old library, things were all but normal. Something was rising. Something from the deepest recesses of hell was making its way through the hellmouth, accessing the Earth through the seemingly endless canyon in the library.
A pale, thin hand shot up, latching onto the edge. Slowly, the rest of the body was pulled up until the creature's entire body was clear. Dragging itself a few feet, it finally collapsed, falling into unconsciousness. Behind it, the gateway it had used to gain entrance to this world closed up, leaving no trace that it had ever been there. Except for the beaten and dying body of the dark slayer.
Faith had come home.
"B?" The voice came out of the darkness, barely audible and in a tone that Buffy had never before heard from the owner. It was timid, scared, weak, and broken, and had managed to crack on just one syllable. Buffy looked around, unable to locate the source but knowing all along who it was, which just proved to her that she was dreaming. But was it prophetic? Or maybe slayer to slayer, like before graduation? Or was that even possible after death?
"Faith?" Buffy continued to look around, extending her senses to their fullest capabilities, and still finding nothing. "What do you want?"
"I need help, B. I need *your* help." The voice was just as weak as before.
"Where are you? You want my help, but I can't even see you."
Suddenly, the scene shifted from pitch-blackness to the abandoned high school. In the library, to be exact. In the corner, next to some rubble, was a naked figure, lying on the cold, hard floor, unmoving. Walking over to it, Buffy was able to see that it was Faith. She was still as death, cold, and covered in a thick sheen of sweat.
"I'm scared, B." The voice came from behind her, causing her to spin around into a defensive crouch. Faith stood behind her, but not as the naked, battered girl on the floor. She was wearing solid black and her eyes were worn. Her entire figure was transparent, as if she was a ghost, and she seemed to be fighting back tears. "Is this real? Are you real? Or are they just messin' with me? I can't take it anymore, B. I need your help." Her voice got weaker and weaker as she spoke, as well as her appearance. "Please...” And just as she reached out to Buffy, the blonde slayer woke up to find herself back in the dorm room she shared with Willow.
Looking at her alarm clock, she realized that it was now daylight. In fact, Willow had already left for her first class. Buffy, on the other hand, had no Friday classes, and decided to take the opportunity to investigate. To see if her dream had any actual meaning.
Buffy slowly made her way to the old high school. Several times, she stopped herself and tried to rationalize what she was doing. She had a dream involving Faith, who was supposed to be dead. Faith needed her help, but why should she care after everything that Faith had put her through. Plus, she was supposed to be dead. That in itself had to be the strangest thing for Buffy. In the end though, curiousity and slayer instinct won out.
She continued to question herself out loud as she made her way up the steps of the dilapidated building. Going through the doors, she pulled her crossbow up in a defensive manner, her senses on alert. Carefully, she made her way down the hall to the library, and as she stepped through what was left of the double doors, her breath caught in her throat.
In the far corner, shadowed by the surrounding rubble, was the unmistakable figure of Faith. Immediately, the crossbow was dropped as Buffy ran to the fallen slayer. She kneeled down next to Faith, her eyes skimming over her appearance. She didn't dare touch her, as if afraid she would break. Faith's skin was a deathly pale, except where it was marred by scars, bruises, and burns. Her hair was limp and singed, and she had lost so much weight that Buffy could count her ribs.
Shaking herself out of her shock, she called Faith's name with a weak voice. Not getting any response, she reached out a hand to rouse her, causing Faith to shrink back with a quiet whimper. Buffy jerked her hand back quickly in confusion. Attributing the fear to a nightmare, she tried once more.
Again, Faith made an effort to get away. Due to her weakness though, she wasn't able to move very far, making it possible for Buffy to lay her hand flat against Faith's forehead. Immediately, Faith tried to curl in on herself and her whimpering turned into full-fledged sobs.
Out of fear for Faith's mental state, Buffy took her hand away and debated what to do. Deciding that she needed help, she took one last look at Faith before racing out of the school to the payphone across the street.
Buffy stood at the payphone with one hand on the receiver while the other instinctively dialed Giles' number. Impatiently, she tapped her foot as she listened to the phone ring once, twice, three times before he answered.
"Giles, I need you to meet me at the high school in the library."
Immediately, Giles was in Watcher mode. "Buffy, what's wrong?"
"I'll explain everything when you get here. Just come, please. And bring some blankets and some of my workout clothes. And hurry."
Giles made it to the high school in record time… at least, for him it was record time. For Buffy, it was a very long ten minutes. When the ex-watcher burst into the old library, he found her huddled in the corner, quietly watching Faith’s still form.
“Dear Lord. What happened?”
Buffy didn’t move as she quietly replied. “I had a dream. I just found her here. And I didn’t know what to do.”
He quickly made his way over to her, and placed a warm, comforting hand on her shoulder. “You did the right thing by calling me.”
Looking up, she gave him a weak grin. “Well, the last time an evil thing dropped in from hell, I hid it and you got mad. I kinda wanted to avoid that.”
Nodding his head in understanding, Giles gave her the items she had requested before going over to Faith. He kneeled down next to her, checked for a pulse, and, upon finding one, gave her a quick once over. “We need to get her out of here. Despite her past actions, she poses no threat right now. And I can’t help but feel we should do our best to help her recover.”
“Yeah. So we can turn her back over to the police.” Buffy tried not to, but she still felt bitter towards the girl. Looking down, she saw Faith curl in on herself. Her face knotted up in fear and a single tear slid down her cheek. Suddenly, Buffy felt a little ashamed of her previous statement.
Taking off his glasses, Giles shook his head as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “We shall cross that bridge if and when we come to it. Right now though, she is in no condition to be put back in jail.” Sighing, he put his glasses back on as Buffy moved next to him.
Quickly, they dressed Faith in the clothes that he had brought. Even though Faith had held the size over Buffy in the past, her excessive weight loss was evident in the way that Buffy’s clothes hung off of her. Wrapping her in the blanket, Giles picked her up and carried her out to his car.
Buffy climbed into the backseat, before reaching out to help Giles put her in comfortably. As the car started, she looked down at the girl whose head was resting in her lap. Tenderly, she stroked her dark hair and felt all the hate and pain fade away. She didn’t know what Faith would be like when she came to, but right now, they were even. Faith had been through Hell… literally. Probably hundreds of thousands of years in Hell… which made Buffy think.
“Giles, how did she survive? I mean, with the time and all, how did she come back the same age she was when she died?”
The ex-watcher thought carefully before answering. “Well… I’m not sure. But I imagine there’s a good reason for her being here.”
Buffy thought about what he had said as she watched the dark haired slayer. Faith’s face was contorted in pain and fear, leading Buffy to believe she was having a nightmare. Softly, she traced the thin, pale scar that ran along the far edge of Faith’s right eye, wondering how she got it, and if she could still see. She also wondered what other scars and souvenirs she had from her trip. That was when Buffy noticed the large, angry looking scar in the middle of Faith’s throat.
Somehow, Buffy knew things had changed. She didn’t know how she knew, she just did. Faith had changed. This was their second chance. And she wasn’t going to let anything go wrong this time.
|| “Well, I bet you thought we’d never get a hold of you, didn’t you?” The tall, thin Watcher stood in front of her with his head held high and a smug look on his face. “Not even jail can protect you from us, Faith. Now, I believe it’s time to start your reconditioning.”
Faith could only watch as the men around her began casting their spell. She had never thought they’d be able to hold her, but her current state proved otherwise. They had caught her and drugged her, and now she lay paralyzed on the cold hard floor. That terrified her. It wasn’t the fact that they had stolen her out of prison that set off any major alarms. She had always known that they had a long reach. What scared her was that they had managed to overpower her and drug her, leaving her completely defenseless. All she could do was watch while they put together her final boarding pass to ‘Recondition camp’.
As they wrapped up the spell, one of the onlookers walked over to her. “I hope you enjoy Hell,” he told her before spitting on her. “You’ll be there for a very long time.” With a laugh, he walked off. And Faith slipped into darkness.
When Faith came to, she could only guess that she was in Hell because of what the Watcher had said. From what she had heard though, it didn’t look like it. There was no fire and brimstone, no heat at all. There was no temperature, nothing. Just three walls, a stone floor, and blackness above. That was when the first of the demons came in.
One of them reached down and hauled her up roughly, which was when she noticed that she was naked. Immediately, she started to object. Kicking and screaming, Faith fought hard against her captor. Ignoring her efforts, he wrapped his hand around her throat. He quickly entered her, causing her to fight and yell even more.
Swinging her fists around wildly, she managed to strike one of the demons. Unfazed, he yanked her roughly by the hair to still her before slamming into her from behind. A piercing scream was released at the sudden intrusion. She struggled to get away, yelling out a string of obscenities and threats, but she was still too weak from the drugs to do any damage.
Her protests died though, when a third demon slammed a knife into her side, slipping between two ribs. As it pierced her lung, she lost all of her fire, and she simply sagged down between the two demons that were still pumping into her. Their rough and jagged movements caused the blade to slip in even further.
As the knife jostled in her side, Faith began to cry. When she had turned herself in, she had decided she would do whatever it took to make things up to Buffy. She hadn’t known that this was what was in store for her. Painfully, she felt her breathing grow ragged and her heart slow.
That was her first day in hell. They took it easy on her that day. ||
While Buffy ran some bathwater for Faith, Giles brought in a pair of drawstring pajama pants and an old t-shirt. Then, closing the door to the bathroom, he left them alone.
Shutting off the water, Buffy looked down at the unconscious girl lying on the floor. Sighing, she undressed her quickly and placed her in the tub. As she began to wash Faith up, she noticed just how badly injured she was. Standing out the most was the long, faded scar on her left side, just below her breast. Sitting her up to wash her back, Buffy gasped at the sight before her.
Whip marks overlapped burn scars, and small dents could be seen all over, as if sharp rods had been inserted in her back. The back of her right shoulder was horribly flawed and discolored, as if it had been dipped in acid. Buffy had to fight back the tears she could feel stinging her eyes. Lightly, she traced Faith’s tattoo, which was surprisingly unmarred. Feeling a tear escape, she roughly wiped it away. Collecting herself, she quickly washed Faith’s hair before taking her out of the tub and thoroughly drying her off. Afterwards, she dressed her in the clothes that Giles had provided, as well as a pair of Buffy’s clean underwear that she kept there for emergencies.
Opting to let her hair dry on its own, Buffy carried Faith into the spare room and laid her on the turned down bed. She tucked her in before sitting down next to her. She sadly looked down at the dark slayer, remembering all of the scars and unhealed wounds she had seen while cleaning her up. “Faith?”
Brushing a strand of hair away from her face, Buffy again noticed the scar over her right eye. “I’m so sorry. I'm sorry about how things went the last time we saw each other. I’m sorry that you had to go to Hell. I’m sorry… I’m just sorry.
“I had hoped that when you came out of the coma, we could start over. But that didn’t happen. And then when you were at Angel’s, and I saw that you had gotten help from him, instead of me… I don’t know. I was just so angry, I didn’t want anything to do with you. And I’m so sorry. Maybe if I had just tried harder, maybe things would’ve been different.” Leaning over, she placed a kiss on Faith’s forehead, as if to assure the girl that the torture was over. Then she stood up and walked out of the room.
Giles walked out of the kitchen carrying two cups of tea. Giving one to Buffy, he sat down on the couch next to her. “How is Faith?”
Buffy looked down at the cup in her hand before placing it on the coffee table. Running her hands through her hair, she sighed. “I don’t know. Sh-she hasn’t woken up yet. And the scars… Giles, I’ve never seen anything like that. Not even with Angel.” She looked at him with so much pain in her eyes; Giles was forced to look away. “How did this happen, Giles? How?”
His response was interrupted by a strangled scream.
Quickly, they both jumped up and ran to the spare room to find Faith wide-awake. She was sitting up and looking around, confusion and fear clearly etched on her face. As Buffy stepped toward her, she moved to jump out of the bed on the opposite side, only to get tangled in the sheets. Falling on the floor with a loud ‘thunk’, she looked around wildly, mouthing words but not making any sounds. Incapable of untangling herself, she began to cry, which soon turned into body-wracking sobs.
Slowly, Buffy walked over to her again, causing Faith to shrink back. Kneeling next to her, she reached over and pulled the brunette into her arms. She softly stroked her hair as she whispered comforting words. After a while, she felt the younger girl’s body relax and her breathing even out as she slipped back into sleep. A little while later, Buffy fell asleep as well.
Giles quietly made his way over to the slayers. As carefully as possible, so as not to wake them, he untangled the sheets from around Faith and used them to cover the two girls. Then he made his way back into the living room.
Faith stood up from her position in the corner when she saw Buffy walking towards her. “B? B, is that really you?”
Buffy smiled and nodded. “Yeah, Faith. It’s me.”
The brunette slayer was still skeptical. “You’d always come… You always came and-and… You hated me. And I’d say I was sorry, cause I am. I’m so sorry, B. But you didn’t care. You’d always beat me to death. Just like you said.” She had tears in her eyes now and her voice was shaking. “But I’m sorry, B. I really am.”
Buffy watched as the tears began to fall, and she couldn’t help but start to cry too. Faith’s pain was because of her, because of both of them. She realized that she wasn’t as innocent as she had once believed.
“Please, B. I can’t take it anymore. I-I just can’t… Make it stop, please.” The last sentence was whispered, barely audible.
“It’ll stop, Faith. I promise. All you have to do is wake up.”
Buffy woke up to find Faith still wrapped in her arms. Deciding that the brunette would probably be more comfortable in the bed, she tried to move from her current position. She stopped, however, when the grip tightened around her waist. Looking down, she was surprised to find herself staring into a pair of pain filled brown eyes.
“Wow, that was quick results,” she said, more to herself than to the other Slayer. Buffy noticed that Faith was shaking and, guessing by the look in her eyes, it was more from fear than cold. “Faith?” Buffy looked at her, hoping for some response. “Faith, do you know who I am?”
For a minute, Buffy didn’t think she would answer. But ever so slowly, Faith nodded her head. When she saw this, Buffy couldn’t hold back the small smile that escaped her lips. She started to ask more questions when Faith closed her eyes. Figuring that the brunette was tired, she picked the younger girl up and carried her back over to the bed.
Covering her up with the fallen blankets, Buffy turned to leave when a hand latched onto her wrist. Looking down at Faith, she noticed the girl shrink back from her gaze. “Do you want me to stay?”
With a slight look of fear, Faith slowly nodded her head. Quietly, she watched as the blonde pulled back the covers and climbed into bed with her. And when Buffy pulled her into her arms, Faith couldn’t help but relax.
For the first time in a long time, she wasn’t afraid of being comfortable. She wasn’t afraid of going to sleep. But most of all, she wasn’t afraid of waking up.
Buffy looked around the empty apartment. The window was still broken and everything had a layer of dust. “Was it really that long ago?” As she asked this, Faith walked in from the other side of the apartment.
“Seems like a few lifetimes ago if you ask me,” the brunette calmly replied.
Sheepishly, Buffy put her head down. “Sorry, I forgot.”
“Don’t be sorry. I’d try to forget, too. If I could.”
Stepping closer to the brunette, Buffy quietly asked, “How did you survive?”
Faith looked back at the blonde with dark, haunted eyes. “My curse. My body couldn’t die because of my curse. My soul couldn’t die because I had hope. That one day you’d forgive me. But you never did.”
Buffy pulled the younger girl into her arms before she could get away. “I do forgive you,” she said quietly.
“Until I screw up again.” She started to pull away, but Buffy held on tightly.
“I forgive you… unconditionally. Because you deserve so much more.”
It was quiet for a moment before Faith pulled away and put her hand on Buffy’s cheek. “I wish I could tell you how you make me feel. But you’ll never hear a word I say. And that’s not your fault. That’s just the way it is.”
Then Buffy woke up.
Feeling the need to make things a little more comfortable for the brunette, she carefully extricated herself from Faith’s grasp and got out of the bed. Quietly closing the bedroom door behind her, she walked into the living room only to find Giles on the couch with a book in his lap. “I guess I dozed off again,” she said softly.
Jumping slightly, Giles turned to look at her. “Buffy. You startled me.”
“Sorry.” Sheepishly, she sat down on the edge of the couch. “I don’t know why I slept so much today. It’s not like I had gotten any less sleep than usual. Maybe it’s just shock from seeing Faith. I mean, I even dreamed about her.”
“Oh?” In response to her remark, Giles closed his book and sat up a little straighter. “What kind of dreams?”
Thinking about it for a moment, Buffy slowly replied, “Slayer dreams. It was a lot like the dream I had while we were in the hospital. And the one with the bed. They just had this feel to them. I can’t describe it.” Scratching her head, she looked to him for answers.
“Well, perhaps it has something to do with your connection. You said that you had a dream about her which led you to the high school, correct?” He watched her nod before continuing. “Well, perhaps it is her way of communicating with you. Maybe, somehow, she has found a way to draw you into the dream world.” Standing up, Giles made his way over to the bookshelf and pulled down a thin, worn book. “I shall have to research this some more.”
Buffy watched him for a moment before standing up as well. “Since you’re doing the research thing, I’m going to go get some things for Faith. Maybe make things a little more comfortable.”
He waved a quick goodbye as she walked out the door.
Buffy stepped into the apartment, not really sure what to expect. Looking around, she felt transported into another time.
|| “Come to get me? You come to feed me to Angel? You know you’re not gonna take me alive.”
“Not a problem.”
“Well, look at you. All dressed up in big sister’s clothes.”
“You told me I was just like you. That I was holding it in.”
“Ready to cut loose?”
“Try me.”
“Okay then. Give us a kiss.” ||
The window had been replaced, as well as the broken furniture and busted television. With all the repairs, the apartment looked the same as it had before the fight.
|| “What’s the matter? All that killing, you afraid to die?”
“That’s mine.”
“You’re about to get it back.”
“Man, I’m going to miss this. You did it. You killed me. Still won’t help your boy, though. Shoulda been there, B. Quite a ride.” ||
Shaking herself out of her reverie, Buffy made her way over to the bed. Looking underneath it, she found two large drawers. Opening the first one, she found pajamas, underwear, and socks. Leaving it open, she moved to the second drawer. In it, she found papers, pictures, books, and other miscellaneous things.
Flipping through one book, she found journal entries, poems, and song lyrics. There were at least three other books like that that she could find. Digging deeper, she was surprised to find published books, such as Dante’s Inferno, The Iliad, Shakespeare plays, a book of greek lyrics, Walt Whitman, and others, all with highlighted passages.
Putting the books aside, she picked up some of the pictures, slightly surprised at what she saw. There were shots of Buffy, Giles, and the rest of the Scooby gang. There were pictures of them in the library, around the school, at the Bronze, and even in the cemetery. Mostly, they were pictures of Buffy, but the thing that was most surprising was the lack of Faith, the complete absence of the brunette in any of the pictures. Even in the few pictures Buffy found of the Mayor, there was no trace of Faith, just the assumption that she was the one behind the camera.
Looking around, Buffy realized that there weren’t any pictures of Faith anywhere. It was as if she didn’t exist, like she’d never existed, and this troubled Buffy. Feeling the sudden need to be near the girl, to prove to herself that Faith was real, Buffy got back to her original task. Moving to the closet, she found the overnight bag that she had been looking for.
Settling back down on the floor, she emptied the contents of the first drawer into the bag. As an afterthought, she grabbed the journals and stuffed them in the bag as well. Going over to the stereo, she grabbed some of the CDs and put them in the bag. Taking a quick look around, she was about to leave when she noticed something sitting on the bed. Curiosity got the best of her and she walked over to the bed to get a better look.
She couldn’t help but laugh a little as she picked up the stuffed shark. It was a little dirty and beat up; leading Buffy to believe the brunette had owned it for a while. Looking past that, though, she could tell that it had been a pretty funny looking shark to begin with. The body was sewn crooked, causing his fins to twist, which didn’t really matter because the fins were pointed in opposite directions. The eyes were sewn unevenly into his head, so one eye was further back than the other. The worst part though was his mouth. He had a top and bottom set of felt teeth that were sewn in to where both rows pointed down, almost giving him the “Bubba” effect. Chuckling quietly to herself, she put the shark into the bag and left.
|| Faith woke up to a sharp stinging on her back. She was used to painful “alarm clocks”, so it was nothing new to her. She had lost track of how long she’d been there and was now just looking forward to the day they would lose interest and let her die in peace. Today was obviously not that day.
She could feel the spikes of the whip dig into her flesh. Compared to other punishments, it was easier to ignore the whip. It was long and black and had hundreds of sharp protrusions of all different sizes, from straight pins to broken glass to thick nails. She just lay there, letting them beat her, because it was better than whatever came next.
After a while, Faith realized that the whipping had stopped. Curious as to why, she began to open her eyes when she heard the buzzing whine of machinery. She didn’t have to look to see what it was, because suddenly her back was on fire. A large demon stood over her with an electric drill, inserting small screws into her back.
Not wanting to give them any satisfaction, she bit her tongue until it bled. But after the fourth screw, she couldn’t hold back anymore. A long, blood-curdling scream filled the air, followed by many more screams and sobs. After a few minutes of pain and screaming, another demon roughly hauled her up by her neck before throwing her on the floor again. As her back slammed into the hard concrete, the screws were driven further in. She let out another scream that died in her throat as the savage beast attacked her.
Brandishing his six-inch claws, he quickly slit a large gash in her throat. Digging in, he severed her vocal cords, permanently silencing her. In pain and protest, she made an attempted scream that came out more like a cross between a grunt and a gurgle.
She watched in terror as the first demon put down the drill and walked towards her, his penis large and hard. Roughly, he hauled her up by her neck, his hand tearing her new wound further. She tried to scream, but instead of sound, she just got an intense pain in her throat. The demon took this time to chain her to the wall, her injured back slapping against the stone. Steadying her with a hand on her throat, the demon quickly slammed into her. The combined pain of her throat, her back, and her violation was too much for her to bear and she slipped into peaceful unconsciousness. ||
When Buffy returned to the apartment, Giles was on the telephone. Judging from the look on his face, it wasn’t any type of emergency. Waving her hand in greeting, she walked past him towards the guest room.
The first thing she noticed when she opened the door was the empty bed. Allowing her instincts to take over, she left the lights off. Not sensing any danger, she softly called out the brunette’s name. Instead of getting the vocal response she had hoped for, she heard a thrashing sound from the closet. Opening the closet doors, she found the younger slayer curled in a ball in the back.
Faith was jerking around with her eyes closed, obviously caught in the throes of a nightmare. Reaching in, Buffy pulled the troubled girl into her arms. In doing so, she noticed that Faith’s clothes were soaked with sweat. Picking her up, Buffy carried her back to the bed. Deciding to just clean her up instead of giving her a bath, she got some clean clothes out of the bag and quickly changed her.
After tucking Faith back into bed, she moved to pick up the dirty clothes when she noticed that a book had fallen out of the bag. Opening it up to the last entry, she began to read.
‘I screwed up again. I was just trying to make things better. Play double agent man. But I screwed up. I’m weak. I finally have someone looking at me the way I always wanted: with love, with pride, with something other than hate and disgust. Only it’s someone evil. And it’s not B. I was just trying to make amends. To make things right. But I fucked it all up. So much for my salvation.’
She started to close the book when a piece of paper slipped out of the book. Picking it up, she realized that it was a page out of a bible. Seeing the highlighted passage, she began to quietly read it aloud. “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Hearing a rustling from the bed, Buffy looked up to see that Faith was awake.
The brunette’s tear-filled eyes threatened to spill over. Opening her mouth to speak, she quickly shut it and looked away.
Putting the book back in the bag, Buffy picked up the stuffed shark. “Do you want something to eat?” She watched Faith for a moment, but after getting no response, she walked over to the side of the bed. Sitting down next to Faith, she placed the shark in front of the brunette. At first, there was no reaction. Then, slowly and uncertainly, Faith stuck her hand out and took the shark.
Buffy wasn’t quite sure, but she thought she could see a slight sparkle in the younger girl’s eyes. Impulsively, she reached out a hand and brushed some hair out of Faith’s eyes. She watched as Faith leaned into her touch. And when the brunette reached out for her, Buffy carefully slid into bed next to her, pulling Faith into her arms.
The older slayer didn’t go back to sleep; she was far from tired. She understood Faith’s need for sleep and comfort, though, and felt she should do whatever necessary to help the brunette get better.
Just as Giles was hanging up the phone, the door burst open, heralding the arrival of the Scooby gang. With a worried expression, he watched his quiet living room fill up with the bickering of Xander and Anya and the wiccan discussion of Willow and Tara.
Desperate to end the conversation, Xander raised his voice. “No, Anya! For the last time, Britney Spears is not the devil!” His excessive outburst halted all other conversations, giving way to the proverbial pin drop. “So, G-man,” he said with a nervous chuckle. “What’s up?”
Giles’ response was cut off by the sudden crash from the guest bedroom. Accustomed to the usual Hellmouth interruptions, everyone rushed to the room. Xander, having been closer, got there first and threw open the door to find Faith in a defensive crouch with her back to the door.
Hearing the door open behind her, she turned to be greeted by Xander’s fist in her face.
Rolling with the punch, Faith came back up with a strong backhand, sending him to the floor. She was breathing hard as the adrenaline flowed through her, causing long-unused muscles to tense and clench in response. Looking down at Xander, she waited for an attack that never came.
Instead, Buffy calmly put her hand on the brunette’s shoulder. Turning Faith to face her, Buffy watched as the younger slayer seemed to deflate before her eyes. Seeing the fear and guilt in the Bostonian’s eyes, she took a step back.
Reading it as disgust, Faith turned and ran out of the apartment before anyone could react.
Snapping out of her stupor, Buffy quickly slipped on her shoes and ran after the brunette. Upon seeing this, Xander moved to follow when Giles stepped in his way.
“Leave them alone,” he said sternly. Hearing the phone ring, he pointed to the couch. “Sit down and be quiet.” Watching to make sure they obeyed, he walked backwards into the kitchen and picked up the receiver. “Hello?” His voice came out harsher than he had intended.
From the other end of the phone line, Angel’s voice came through soft, warm, and comforting. His tone was concerned, but not to the point of worry. “Rupert? Is she there? Have you found her yet?”
Giles removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Ah, hello, Angel. Buffy’s not here right now.” The ex-watcher’s voice was tired.
“No, I’m not looking for Buffy. I’m sorry. I should have been more clear. I’m looking for Faith. Have you seen her?”
Putting his glasses back on, Giles stood up straight, giving Angel his full attention. “Yes, Faith is staying here. Buffy found her in the old high school yesterday morning. But, how did you know?”
Buffy chased after the brunette for several blocks. She was surprised at the stamina of the younger girl, amazed at the speed she showed after seeming so weak. But Faith continued, never slowing, never faltering, and never looking behind her. Finally, they ended up at the old school. Specifically, they ended up in what used to be the library.
Buffy almost ran into Faith as the brunette came to a dead stop and turned around. She and Faith stared off for a moment, brown eyes filled with pain, hazel ones with worry. Then the moment was gone, and Faith broke the gaze. Buffy watched the younger slayer squat down and trace her finger in the dirt on the floor. Kneeling down next to her, Buffy realized that the younger slayer had written something on the floor.
“Sorry, B,” Buffy read aloud. Looking at the other slayer, Buffy fought back the urge to hug her, unsure of the reaction it would elicit. “You really do understand?” Her voice was quiet and confused. “But why didn’t you say anything sooner?”
Pointing to the scar on her throat, Faith began to write again. ‘Voice cut. Talk hurts. No sense.’
“I don’t understand. What do you mean ‘voice cut’? Like, your vocal cords?”
The brunette nodded.
“But why?” the blonde asked, her eyes fixed on the old scar.
‘Too much screaming.’ The brunette hung her head, as if in shame.
Buffy realized that Faith’s recovery was going to be more difficult than she had first believed. “We have to tell Giles.” Noticing the look the younger slayer gave her, she corrected herself. “You know what I mean.” They moved to get up when Buffy noticed the other girl’s feet. Barefoot, her run across town had left her feet raw and bloody. “Oh god, Faith. You can’t walk back like that. I’ll go call for a ride.”
Faith grabbed the blonde to keep her from leaving. Waving her hand, she had a nonchalant look on her face. Then she passed the older slayer and began to walk out.
Buffy noticed that she walked with a slight limp, favoring her right side. The limp appeared to be more from a leg injury than from her feet. Watching the brunette stop at the doors, she took that as her cue to follow and caught up with her.
When they got back to Giles’, they were surprised to see that Willow and Xander were still there. The two Scoobies were sitting on the couch watching television as Giles emerged from the kitchen, cup of tea in hand.
“There you are,” he said. “I’ve got some news.”
“So do we,” Buffy told him. Turning to Faith, she spoke softly. “Do you remember where the bathroom is?” After receiving a nod, she continued. “Why don’t you go ahead and get cleaned up?”
Faith looked at her for a moment before Buffy nodded encouragingly.
“It’s okay. I’m just going to fill Giles in. It’s alright.”
Slowly, Faith turned and went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.
Buffy watched the closed door for a moment before turning back to Giles. “She can’t talk,” she told him quietly, a hint of sadness in her voice.
Giles looked at her curiously. “Well, it is possible that after all of her time in hell, she has forgotten how to speak.”
“No, not like that. She can’t talk, period. She said they cut her voice. That’s where the scar came from.”
“Oh, so you’re not just harboring a killer,” Xander commented from the couch. “You’ve got a silent killer.”
“Xander, shut up,” Buffy told him firmly.
“Why should he, Buffy? He’s right.” Willow stood up from the couch quickly, Xander by her side. “How can you just welcome her back after everything she’s done: to innocent people, to us, to you. You can’t just sweep all that under the rug.”
“And I’m not trying to,” Buffy replied, stepping closer to her friends. “But I think she’s suffered enough.” She sighed as her eyes took on a troubled look. “You haven’t seen it, Will. The scars all over her body. The nightmares. The look in her eyes. It’s different. She’s different. She’s changed. And I can’t not help her.”
“Sure you can.” Xander’s voice was mockingly cheerful. “All you do is say, ‘Sorry’, and send her back to jail, where she belongs.”
“No.” Giles was the one to answer; his voice strong, but quiet. “She’s not safe there.” He held up his hand, silencing Xander’s arguments. “That’s what I was trying to tell you.” Turning to Buffy, he directed his attention to her. “Angel called while you were gone. Faith never committed suicide. Her death was staged by the Watcher’s Council to cover up her kidnapping.”
Buffy sat down on the arm of the couch, thinking about what Giles had just told her. “Why kidnap her though? Why not just let her rot in jail? I mean, she’s out of their hair there.”
“I’m not sure. But Angel is on his way. We’ll let him explain what he knows. Maybe that will shed some light on things. But the main reason he called is to alert us. We have to keep her hidden. If the council finds out she has escaped, there is no telling what they will do.”
Faith sat on the edge of the bathtub, turning on the water. Rolling up her pants legs, she stuck her feet under the spray of the water. After rubbing the soles of her feet for a little while, she became content to just let them soak. It didn’t take long, though, for her to become bored.
Shutting off the water, she heard Giles’ voice echo from the other room. “If the council finds out she has escaped, there is no telling what they will do.” Hearing mention of the council, the brunette was overcome with fear to the point of shaking.
With terror drowning out rational thought, her instincts told her to run. Standing up quickly, she turned towards the door only to slip in the wet tub. Unable to catch her balance in time, she came crashing down, hitting her head on the side of the tub. Faith's vision swam as she shakily brought a hand to her head, pulling it back to find blood.
Letting out a silent curse, she struggled to sit up, trying to push the dizziness she was feeling aside. Leaning over the side of the tub, she was about to throw up when Buffy came bursting through the door.
"Faith!" Rushing over to the fallen slayer, Buffy gingerly touched the cut in the middle of the brunette's forehead. Within seconds, it was healed, but Faith still looked disoriented. "What happened?"
Unsure of how to express herself, Faith pointed at the small puddle of water near the drain and then slapped her hands together in a skidding motion.
Nodding in understanding, Buffy led Faith into the living room, sitting down next to her on the couch. Feeling the tension level rise from her friends, she shot them warning looks, almost daring them to say something. They at least had the decency to look apologetic for their earlier behavior.
Giles watched the scene worriedly. Unsure of what to say, the five of them sat there in uncomfortable silence. Thankfully, the Los Angeles chapter chose that moment to show up. Hearing the knock on the door, Giles remembered that not everyone burst through the door like Buffy and her friends.
Opening the door, he stepped back, motioning for them to come in. "Angel, Cordelia. How are you?"
Angel and Cordelia said their hellos. As their eyes found the brunette, both took on slumped stances and concerned looks. Walking over to the couch with Cordelia at his heels, Angel knelt down in front of Faith.
Looking into his eyes, Faith found the usual warmth and understanding she had grown to count on while in jail. It was so good to see again that when he pulled her into a hug, she fell into it welcomingly. "I'm sorry," she heard him whisper. Nodding slightly, she buried her face in his shoulder, breathing deeply, inhaling his scent. He still smelled the same, the musky scent of sandalwood combined with his cologne. Feeling a hand on her head, Faith pulled away from Angel, looking up into Cordelia's face.
The struggling actress had a small smile on her face. "Believe it or not," she said softly, "but it's good to see you again." After what Faith had done to Wesley, Cordelia didn't think she'd ever forgive her. But they had all gone to see her in prison. They saw how she had changed, how she was trying to make amends. She and Cordelia had even developed a sort of quasi-friendship. Then after Faith's "death", Cordelia began to get visions of the slayer's time in hell. Taking action, Cordelia recruited Angel, Wesley, and Gunn to look for a way to get her out. "I thought you might need this," the fashion queen said as she pulled a dry erase board out of her bag. Handing it to Faith, she saw the appreciation in the other girl's eyes. "You're welcome," she said quietly.
Smiling slightly, Faith pulled the cap off the marker and wrote one word. 'Wes?'
"He's in L.A. with Gunn," Angel responded. "He wanted to be here, but we couldn't leave the city completely unguarded."
Buffy watched the small group with a twinge of jealousy. 'Why am I jealous,' she asked herself. 'Is it the attention that Angel's giving her?' She tried to think about what it was that was upsetting her so much, when it finally occurred to her. When Faith looked at Angel, there was no fear like there was when she looked at Buffy. There were other emotions: love, trust, and a look of salvation.
Standing up, Angel moved behind the couch while Cordelia took the remaining seat on the couch. Looking across the room, he saw Willow sitting in the chair with Xander at her feet, both looking torn. Their stares constantly changed from accusing to confused and back again. Apparently, she had noticed, because her eyes were downcast.
"So Angel, what can you tell us?"
Angel turned to the source of the voice to see Buffy looking at him with complete attention. He smiled slightly when he saw that she was holding Faith's hand. He knew that the blonde had a lot of strength to share, strength that the brunette would need. "Well, what do you want to know? Between Cordelia's visions and Wesley's connections with the council, we were pretty much able to put everything together."
"Long story short," Cordelia broke in. "The council kidnapped Faith from jail and faked her suicide. They did a spell and sent her to hell, body and all. I got the visions, which caused the research. So, Angel appealed to the PTBs and we did a spell to get her back." Cordelia took a breath before finishing, "body and all."
"Well, if it was 'body and all', then how did she survive?" As she finished her question, Buffy felt Faith squeeze her hand as a look of pain came over her face.
"The Watchers cast an immortality spell over her. Her body would regenerate enough to keep her alive, so to speak. It was as if she was a vampire, but without the demon."
"And the immortality thing kept her from aging." Buffy looked at the dark slayer next to her, letting Angel and Cordelia's information sink in. "So does that mean she's still immortal?"
Shaking his head slightly, Angel answered. "The curse only holds up in the demon dimension. Once she leaves there, it becomes void."
Looking at Faith for a response, Buffy could've sworn that she saw the younger girl smile at the new information.
That night, the two slayers sat on the couch alone. Xander and Willow had both gone home after a few silent hours. Cordelia and Angel had left shortly thereafter, leaving the new number at the mansion, just in case. And Giles had gone off to bed about a half hour earlier. With the late hour and Faith's condition, Buffy had decided to forego patrol for the night. And in a one-Starbucks town like Sunnydale, the chances of finding something to do were two: slim and none.
So, they sat on the couch in a nice, comfortable silence, the television playing on mute in the background. Looking at the blonde next to her, Faith nervously fiddled with her dry erase board before removing the pen cap to write. Once she was finished, she held it up for Buffy to read.
"Have you ever just 'been'?" She read the message aloud before looking up in confusion. "Been what?"
Faith pulled the board back down, erasing her question. Holding up one finger on her left hand, she began scribbling furiously with her right hand. She seemed to have a sense for Buffy, because every time the blonde moved to read what was being written, Faith adjusted the board's position so she couldn't see. Finally, she finished and held the board up again, a serious expression on her face.
When Buffy saw how small she had written and that she had still managed to fill up the board, she decided to just read silently.
'No what. Just been. To just find the perfect person for you, someone that makes you feel completely different. To just be with that person and not think about anything at all, not sex, or words, or feelings. Absolutely nothing. To look at a person and just think how much you want to hold them in your arms, to prove to yourself that they're real. It's like, if they're there, then there's no one else in the world. There's just you and them and nothing else. No thoughts, no words, no problems. Just sheer contentment. Pure happiness to just take that person into your arms and hold them for the rest of your lives. To just be.'
As soon as Buffy's eyes met Faith's, the brunette began to erase the board again. The older slayer looked at her in complete awe, unaware that she was able to express such things. Her message completely threw her 'get some, get gone' definition of Faith out the window. Add to that the fact that the conversation was coming right out of left field, Buffy began to wonder where the younger girl was going with it. She wasn't completely dense; she had an idea. But she didn't want to jump to conclusions, so she merely asked her. "What are you trying to say, Faith?"
Raising the board, she showed her latest comment. 'With you, I feel like I can just be.' Then she stood up and left the room, slowly making her way to the spare room.
Closing the door behind her, she was tempted to strip down to nothing for bed. After her years in hell, she had grown accustomed to the nudity, and now found that clothing felt heavy and uncomfortable. But the more she thought about it, the less she liked the idea. If Buffy did get up the courage to come into the room, she probably wouldn't be very comfortable with it. And as Faith thought about it, the more vulnerable she felt, leaving herself completely open to the outside world. It was hard enough putting up the internal barriers without intentionally leaving herself physically vulnerable. It was with this thought in mind that she pulled on a pair of flannel pajama pants and an oversized long sleeve shirt.
Leaving the lamp on, she turned off the overhead light and climbed into bed. Trying to find a comfortable position, she felt a small lump under her back. Feeling around, she found her furry little shark. Cuddling it tightly to her chest, she turned onto her side, her back to the door. Settling into bed, she let out an inaudible sigh, and within seconds, she was fast asleep.
About twenty minutes later, Buffy let herself into the room. Although she tried to be quiet, she noticed that Faith tensed up at the sudden noise. Even if the brunette hadn't woken up, her body was still on alert to every sound. Quickly changing into some comfortable sleepwear, Buffy crawled into bed next to her. Figuring the lamp had been left on for a reason, she ignored it as she slid behind Faith, carefully wrapping her arms around the other slayer's seemingly nonexistent waist.
After a few minutes in Buffy's embrace, Faith's body relaxed, melding into the blonde's. Only minutes later, both were sleeping peacefully.
A month later, things were looking a little better for Faith. She was starting to gain some of her weight back, but it was slow going, due to the fact that she rarely ate, and when she did, it was slowly and listlessly. With Giles' help, she was training again, getting her strength back, and even going on light patrols with Buffy. And as far as the situation with the blonde, Faith had never been happier. They were growing closer than ever, right down to the fact that Buffy had moved in with Giles and her.
The blonde felt that Faith would need more help than a few visits could provide. Add to that the fact that she still wasn't opening up to Giles at all and she said she "saw no other choice". Faith couldn't help but hope that it was just a cover, and that what she had said to her that one night had had some effect. But there was that inner voice that kept repeating how it was all just a setup. A whisper here and there that stressed the point of failure.
But Faith was determined not to slip back into her old habits. So she sat in on meetings and she made conversation with Buffy through her board. She even emailed Cordelia at least once a day since she and Angel returned to L.A. The only barrier that she couldn't seem to break through was her problems with the Scooby gang.
No matter how hard she tried to prove that she had changed, she met nothing but resistance. Most of the problems came from Xander and Willow directly, but it seemed that whatever their vote was, the same went for Anya and Tara. So she endured the cold glares from the ringleaders and tried to put up with the silent treatment from all four of them. Every time it started to bother her too much though, she'd remind herself that she still had Giles and Buffy. And if nothing else, she could always move to L.A.
She contemplated how her life had changed while she finished her dinner. Giles and Buffy had been strictly enforcing her meals, so she cooperated some of the time. As long as there were potatoes. They questioned her once on the fact that all she would eat was mashed potatoes and baked potatoes, but after a while, they had left it alone. All that mattered to them was that she was eating *something*.
Taking her last bite, she put her fork down and looked up excitedly. Laughing quietly, the blonde slayer picked up her plate. "Excited about patrol, Faith? Or did Giles put too much sugar in your tea?"
Following Buffy's example, Faith stood as well, carrying her dishes to the sink. Then she ran into the living room, quickly grabbing a stake, and stood by the door.
Giles couldn't help but smile at the younger girl's behavior. She acted the same way every time they let her patrol, like a little kid on Christmas. He understood, though, that it was probably because she didn't get out very often.
Though there had been no sign of them, they still feared the Watcher's Council was just waiting to send her back to Hell. As a precaution, Faith was kept inside most of the time, at least until she was back at full strength.
She also enjoyed patrol, though, because that was when she was best able to express herself. Since she no longer possessed the gift of gab, fighting took the forefront, giving her the perfect release. She was focusing more and becoming a more challenging opponent. In her opinion, the best part was what Giles had said.
They were sitting on the couch one day, just watching television, when he turned to her. "Faith, I know that you have been making a tremendous effort to better yourself and make up for your past. I also know that, other than Buffy, the children aren't making it easy for you. For the record, though, I am very proud of you."
That had made all of the difference. The nightmares, the cold-shoulders from the Scoobies, and the fear. All of it just flew out the window. Somebody was proud of her. More importantly, Giles was proud of her.
So she bounced up and down excitedly by the door, causing Buffy to laugh even more. "Really not something I ever thought I'd see," she told the brunette as she picked up a stake as well. "But, who am I to complain?" And with that comment, they made their way out the door and into the night.
As they walked down the sidewalk, Faith calmed down and slipped into slayer mode. Picking her head up, she listened carefully, analyzing every sound. And next to her, Buffy was studying every move that she made.
Making their way into the cemetery, they scanned the darkness silently. Their patrols were usually pretty quiet, ever since the first patrol when Buffy realized how frustrating one-sided conversations could be. They always seemed to turn into "20 Questions".
Separating from Buffy to check behind one of the mausoleums, Faith was taken completely off-guard by three vampires. With a flurry of fists and feet darting in and out of view, she spun around, trying to lock her senses on at least one target. Finally managing to single one out, she was surprised when the attack came from above. As the first slammed down on top of her, she lost her grip on the stake, which flew into a headstone. While two of the vampires pinned her down, one on her legs and one holding her arms above her head, the other repeatedly beat her with a bat. First wailing on her chest, the bat-wielder smiled evilly when he heard the satisfying crunch of broken ribs.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the mausoleum, Buffy was occupied with two of her own bloodsuckers. She was having a much easier time, though, and within five minutes, both were dusted. Looking around, she tried to find a sign of the other slayer. "Faith?" She realized after she yelled out how silly it was to expect a response. But that was when she heard the sound of struggles. More specifically, a wet, crunching sound.
Running around the side, she got there just in time to see the three vamps running off. Throwing her stake, she managed to dust one of them, but didn't give chase. Instead, she dropped to her knees next to the battered body of the dark slayer.
Faith was curled into the fetal position, her arms wrapped around her stomach. One of her eyes had already swollen shut and, with a cough, she spit up some blood. She writhed on the ground in pain, trying to fight unconsciousness. But as Buffy pulled her head into her lap, she gave up the fight and succumbed to the darkness.
Buffy slammed through the front door of Giles' apartment, the unconscious brunette in her arms. "Giles!" She yelled into the empty room, carefully laying Faith on the couch. "Giles, we need help!" She softly ran her fingers through the other girl's hair, silently willing her to wake up. "Giles! Come on, come on, Faith… GILES!"
The last shout was drowned out by the sound of pattering feet as the former watcher bounded down the stairs, jean clad and hair damp. "I'm sorry. I was just getting out of the shower…" His eyes widened at the sight of the beaten body on his couch. "Oh, dear Lord. What happened?" He dropped to his knees in front of Faith, assessing her injuries.
"We got ambushed," Buffy moved to stand behind the couch. "They left the baseball bat behind when they ran. I-I didn't think the hospital would be a good idea, since she's supposed to be dead. So I brought her here." She fidgeted behind the couch, glancing from watcher to slayer. "Say she'll be okay Giles," she begged, her voice cracking from unshed tears.
Giles looked up, eyes full of understanding and concern. "I can't be positive, Buffy, but she seems to just have a bump on the head and a few bruised ribs. Perhaps when she wakes up, we'll know more."
"But she was spitting up blood. Doesn't that mean that something is bleeding internally?" Buffy's hands shook as she grabbed hold of the couch for support and looked up at her watcher.
"Normally, yes. But I think the blood you saw was a result of a bitten tongue, along with a split lip, and, quite possibly, a few loose teeth. It's really nothing to worry about."
After bandaging the brunette's wounds, Giles delicately lifted her fragile frame and carried her to the room she now shared with Buffy. Laying Faith on the turned-down bed, the former watcher gingerly pulled the covers over her. He opened the closet door while Buffy sat in an armchair next to the bed. Pulling a blanket from the top shelf, Giles draped it over Buffy before putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Thank you," she said quietly.
"Get some rest," he whispered with a reassuring smile. As he left the room, he quietly pulled the door shut behind him.
Buffy and Faith walked hand in hand down the beach, the sunset casting blues and purples across the sky. The ocean was calm, the waves lapping at the shore in that reassuring rhythm of laughter and dreams. Looking down, Buffy noticed that while she had a path of footprints behind her, Faith had none.
"They're not mine to leave," the brunette said, answering Buffy's unasked question. "This is paradise. It doesn't deserve my mark." The sadness in her eyes betrayed her mischievous tone.
"Everything should have your mark." Buffy gripped Faith's hand tighter, giving her a reassuring smile.
They continued to walk in silence, leaving only the ocean's rhythm to fill the void. Then, softly at first, music began to play from somewhere indistinguishable.
"Do you hear that?" Buffy asked as she pulled to a stop. "I know that song. What…"
"You should have left me." Faith's voice came from a few feet ahead, but her body was right behind the blonde. "They would have finished the job nicely."
"What?" Buffy grabbed the brunette's hand. "No," she said firmly. "You deserve another chance."
"For what? For peace?" The younger slayer's lips lifted in a twisted smile, disbelief in her eyes. "I don't get peace, B. I never will. Just hate and pain and darkness." She reached a hand out to touch the other girl's golden locks. "Purity, peace, and light? The higher ups never even thought of that stuff when I was made. It was set apart. Just one more thing for me to dream about that I could never have. So they torture me. For what? For fun. They throw me at your feet. They let me taste heaven in your arms, with the constant reminder of hell and where I belong. So you should have let them finish. 'Cause the 'carrot on a stick' is getting tired. I'm getting tired. I need someone, B. I need someone to deliver me."
And then the sky turned black. In the darkness, Buffy strained to see the girl next to her. "Faith? Where are you?"
"In the same place I've always been. Alone."
Her voice echoed off the ocean and the sunset and suddenly the sky seemed lower than before. Reaching out, she brushed the side of Faith's hand, but when she moved to get a better grip, the girl was gone. Closing her eyes, she reached out with all of her senses, searching for the connection the slayers shared, struggling to make contact. And then the darkness was broken, and Faith's form, surrounded by light, became visible in her mind's eye. Taking advantage of her sudden sight, Buffy reached out and firmly took the brunette's hand in her own. Opening her eyes, she saw that they were now in Faith's old apartment. Lying down on the bed, the blonde took the younger girl into her arms, cradling her protectively. "Not alone. Not anymore."
Burying her head in Buffy's shoulder, Faith began to cry softly. "When I fuck up again, you'll let go. And I don't think I'll be able to handle it."
Shaking her head, the elder slayer whispered her reassurances like a mantra. "I'll never let go. I'll never let go. I'll never let go."
And then they were gone.
Buffy woke up to find that it was already daylight. Most of Faith's injuries had healed overnight and she seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Getting out of her chair, Buffy stretched and moved over to the bed and pulled back the covers slightly. Hearing Faith's sharp intake of breath, the blonde looked up to find her wide-awake, something unreadable in her eyes. "I was just going to check your ribs," Buffy said quietly, sitting back slightly. "How are you feeling?"
With a slight grin, Faith held up her hand, palm out, fingers spread apart. Then she rotated her hand until her palm was facing in, her symbol for "five by five."
"Well, that's good." Standing up, Buffy grabbed her blanket from where it had fallen on the floor. "Want something to eat? I don't know about you, but I'm in the mood for some breakfast." At Faith's nod, she helped her out of bed and they walked into the kitchen.
Following their usual routine, Buffy moved to the cabinets while Faith opened the refrigerator. Buffy pulled out two glasses, a bowl, and a plate, and then got a fork and spoon out of the silverware drawer. Digging in the fridge, Faith pulled out a carton of milk and a bottle of syrup and then opened the freezer for a box of waffles.
As Faith made her way over to the toaster with the waffles, Buffy picked up a box of Lucky Charms off the counter. She poured herself a bowl, and then stared at its contents in confusion. "Uh… Faith?"
The brunette looked up quickly, a nervous expression on her face. Upon seeing what the blonde was looking at, she quickly turned back to her waffles.
"Faith, is it just me or are there supposed to be marshmallows in Lucky Charms?"
Without turning around, the younger slayer answered with a shake of the head.
"Are you sure about that? Cause it says right here 'with marshmallows'."
Faith just shook her head again.
"Yes, it does." Walking over to Faith, Buffy put the box right in front of the brunette. "See. Right here," she said, pointing to the box.
Turning around quickly, Faith leaned over the box, obstructing Buffy's view. But when she straightened, the blonde could see the heavy black 'x' over the marshmallow advertisement. With a shrug of her shoulders, the brunette capped the Sharpee in her hand. Then, giving Buffy one more innocent smile, she picked up her plate and glass and carried her waffles and milk into the living room.
A few minutes later, Buffy followed suit with a glass of milk and a bowl of marshmallow-less Lucky Charms. "You know," she said, sitting down on the couch next to a channel surfing Faith. "I don't think Giles took the movies back to the video store yet. Wanna watch Ferris Bueller?"
At Faith's nod of agreement, Buffy got up and put the movie in the VCR. As the previews played, the two slayers quickly finished their food and put their dishes on the coffee table. Attempting to get comfortable, Buffy stretched out across the couch. Just as she was getting situated, Faith crawled over the blonde to lie between her and the back of the couch.
Waggling her eyebrows, the brunette settled in next to Buffy, pillowing her head on the blonde's shoulder.
"Cozy?" The blonde stared down at the couch-intruder with an amused smirk. Receiving a nod in response, Buffy just smiled and turned her attention to the television.
By the end of the movie, both slayers were comfortably resting on the couch, neither one wanting to move. Looking down at the brunette in her arms, Buffy realized how close she had come to losing the former rogue again. It was something that she wanted to avoid. Hugging Faith to her tightly, being careful not to injure her ribs further, Buffy planted a kiss on top of the brunette's head.
Surprised at the gesture, Faith lifted her head to look at the blonde. She was shocked to find herself staring into tear-filled eyes. Concern etched on her face, she moved to pull herself up when Buffy stopped her, leaning down to press her lips against the brunette's.
Feeling Faith begin to respond, Buffy deepened the kiss, slipping her tongue into the brunette's mouth. There was no roughness or fight for control, just the caring tenderness of Buffy's tongue against Faith's. When they finally broke apart, both were panting heavily.
Pulling away from Faith, Buffy quickly stood up, looking anywhere but at the brunette. "I, uh… I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry." Quickly walking out of the room, she failed to notice the look on the younger slayer's face.
The brunette was crushed. Internally berating herself, she felt the first of her tears slip down her cheek. With a silent curse, she angrily brushed it away. She never used to cry, never let anything show, but lately, it seemed she couldn't stop. Breathing heavily, she dropped her head into her hands. Suddenly feeling dirty, she decided to take a shower. Pushing herself off the couch, she made her way into the bedroom to find Buffy pacing back and forth. Without acknowledging the blonde, she grabbed some clean clothes from the dresser and made her way into the bathroom.
Buffy stopped dead in her tracks when the brunette entered the room. Struggling with herself, she tried to think of the right thing to say, but realized it was a wasted effort when the bathroom door shut. Deciding to relax, she turned the radio on just in time to catch the end of Poe's "Fly Away". As the song faded, it was quickly replaced by the harder beat of an edited version of Godsmack's "Whatever". Lying down in the bed, she focused on the radio, hoping it would drown out her thoughts of the slayer in the next room.
"You are listening to 91.7, KUSR, The Rocket. I'm Valarie, here with my partner, Brian. And this is Random Crap radio, coming to you live, from three to five, every Friday afternoon…" Buffy let the deejay's voice trail off as she looked at the clock, surprised at the late hour. She must have been more stressed than she thought, having slept that long. Stressed about Faith, and her injuries, and the fact that she could have lost the brunette again… Cutting off those thoughts before they could go any further, she gave her full attention back to the arguing deejays on the radio.
"I tell you, that song just makes me realize how much I hate radio censors. Especially college radio censors. They make you cut out all the good stuff. Like the sex, and drugs, and cussing. It's just not cool, you know?" Valarie's voice didn't sound quite as upset as the comment did.
"No, not cool at all," her partner, Brian, agreed.
"Oh, cheer up, dude. You're just upset because you just made an… well, you just looked stupid. I don't know why you're wiggin'. It's not like anybody could actually see you bust your butt."
"What can I say? I came, I saw, I conquered, I fell out of my chair."
"Yeah, well, it just makes me pity our listening audience. Because they don't get to see just how big of an idiot you can be. In fact, I think we should fix that. If you want to see Brian look dumb, or just see Brian look… it's hard to tell the difference… then come on down to the studio, first floor of the Mass Com building. There's a little window there, and I'm pretty sure you could get a good seat…"
"Anyway! Why don't you just shut up and play the next song, Val? I doubt anybody wants to listen to you anymore."
"Okay, grouch man. I'll play. I'll play better than I've ever played before!" There was a pause over the airwaves before she continued. "Okay, so this song isn't much random or crap. It's just a song I like. 'Cause it was in a good movie. So, here's Sarah Brightman's 'Deliver Me' off of the 'Brokedown Palace' soundtrack. Enjoy." All talking immediately cut off as the first beats of the song played over the airwaves.
Buffy sat up quickly, recognizing the song from her dream. When she heard the first lyrics, her thoughts immediately went to the brunette that had been redistributed into her world.
Deliver me out of my sadness. Deliver me from all of the madness. Deliver me courage to guide me. Deliver me strength from inside me.
Standing up, she made her way across the room to turn up the radio when the bathroom door opened. Buffy watched, mesmerized, as the Faith exited with a cloud of steam, her face expressionless, but her eyes betraying a deep pain. "I'm sorry," the blonde whispered.
Faith waved her apology off with a shake of her head, avoiding eye contact with the other slayer.
Stepping forward, Buffy lightly grabbed the brunette's chin, lifting it so they were eye to eye. "Not about the kiss. Because that felt right to me. I'm sorry about what I did afterwards. I guess I just got scared. I've never… felt this way… about a girl before. And it was kind of confusing. Has been for two and a half years. But it's not right now. Because that five or ten minutes you were in the bathroom… I missed you. And I was afraid that you were just going to keep avoiding me. I don't think I could handle that now. Not after everything that's happened in the past month. Because it's gotten to the point where I need you to feel whole." She paused, more for dramatic effect than anything else, to make sure that Faith was paying attention. "I need you because I love you."
Faith looked up at the blonde in surprise, her freshly built walls already falling down. Happiness shone through her eyes, pushing the hurt and anger aside. 'I love you, too,' she mouthed, a tear slipping down her cheek. With a smile, she moved in to kiss the blonde, pouring all of her happiness and love into that one act.
And at that moment, it didn't matter that Faith couldn't speak, because Buffy knew exactly how she felt.
Buffy woke the next morning feeling better than she had in months. Looking down, she smiled broadly at the reason why, which was currently nestled in her arms.
Faith was draped across the blonde, her head on Buffy's shoulder and their legs entwined. The brunette's arm was wrapped around the older slayer's waist in more of a clinging manner rather than possessiveness. Placing a kiss on Faith's forehead, Buffy thought back to the day before.
After they both admitted their feelings, they had gone back into the living room for more movies and cuddling. For supper, Buffy decided to cook, which meant Chinese takeout, and that led to more cuddling in front of the television. Buffy had never thought of Faith as a cuddler, but the brunette seemed to have a constant need for physical contact. That night, they made love for hours. When they finally laid down to go to sleep, Faith traced 'I Love You' on Buffy's stomach before settling as close to the blonde as possible.
Now, as Buffy looked down at the sleeping brunette, both of them naked and in bed together, she couldn't believe how far they had come. From strangers to awkward companions to enemies to friends to lovers. Placing a kiss on the brunette's forehead, Buffy pulled her closer, causing Faith to unconsciously snuggle deeper into the older slayer's embrace. Sighing contentedly, Buffy closed her eyes for more sleep, not quite ready to move from her current position. Just as she was drifting off to dreamland, the door to the bedroom opened suddenly, revealing a smiling Xander and Willow, the redheaded witch still chuckling from some unheard comment of Xander's. While they had been smiling at first, their expressions soon turned to shock, and then anger and disgust.
"Buffy! What the hell--? What are you doing?" Xander pushed past Willow, oblivious to the fact that Buffy was trying to cover herself and a now-very-awake Faith.
"What am I doing? What are you doing? You just burst in here with no warning? What is your problem?"
"No, Buffy. You're the one with the problem. How could you—It's Faith! What are you thinking? After everything she's done to us, you're going to sleep with her? Were you really that desperate to get laid?" Willow was fuming. Buffy couldn't remember ever seeing her this angry, but she didn't care. She was pissed, too.
"I'm not desperate, Willow. I love her."
The last statement silenced the shouting immediately.
After a few minutes, Xander spoke calmly and steadily, though the anger was still in his voice. "I've put my life in danger for you more times than I can count. All of us have. So, you want to help her? Fine. We're used to your charity cases. But in case you've forgotten, your relationships with proven killers usually end badly. We're not going to stand by and let you endanger us willingly. So, enjoy your fuck-buddy, because we won't be around." With that, Xander and Willow left, not looking back.
Four days had gone by since Willow and Xander had walked out on Buffy, and she still hadn't heard from them. They were in her every thought, though, and she missed them terribly. But she wouldn't call them. As far as she was concerned, she was right and they were wrong. Simple as that. She would simply wait for them to come crawling back.
But she missed them.
And Faith noticed. Things were different. She and Buffy were no longer as close as they had been. The blonde had been distant, keeping to herself, brushing Faith off. She knew it was just because she was upset, so she didn't take it personally. But she still felt guilty. Xander and Willow had walked out because of her and the relationship she shared with Buffy. That was something she could understand. After everything she had done to them, she didn't expect them to forgive her. She was surprised beyond belief that Buffy had.
At the moment, Faith was waiting patiently on the couch when she heard the bedroom door open. Jumping up from her position, she picked her stake up off the table and hurried to meet Buffy in the kitchen.
Seeing the brunette out of the corner of her eye, the blonde held up her hand. "Not tonight, Faith," she said tiredly.
Normally, Faith would've backed down. But she hadn't been out of the house in days and she knew that Buffy hadn't been at the top of her game lately. So she persisted, moving into Buffy's eye line with a puppy dog look.
"No." Buffy wasn't laughing like she normally did when Faith played this game.
Fazed a little, Faith went into the living room and got her message board, writing quick enough to hit Buffy on her way out of the kitchen. 'Please?'
"No, Faith! Not tonight." Buffy was almost out the door.
'Why not?'
"Because you'll only get in the way, all right? Because I can get more done without having to baby-sit you! You're not ready! Just stay here and stay out of trouble."
Faith's face fell as she shrank back from Buffy's words. She had been distant. She had brushed Faith off. But she hadn't yelled at her. The brunette understood that she missed her friends, but that didn't make it hurt any less. Taking a last look at Buffy, Faith turned and slowly made her way back to the bedroom.
Buffy sighed, contemplating an apology when the door softly clicked shut. Deciding to give Faith some time to herself, Buffy turned and walked out of the apartment, shutting the door behind her.
Patrol was uneventful, producing nothing but a stray cat. A non-evil stray cat. Walking back into Giles' apartment, Buffy made her way to the bedroom she shared with Faith, apology ready. Opening the door, though, she found the room empty. Walking into the bathroom, she found that room empty as well. Growing worried, she called out to receive no response. Just as she was about to leave the room, though, she noticed the message board lying on the bed.
'You don't have to make a choice. You need them more than you'll ever need me. I love you. I'm sorry.'
Dropping the board, she ran through the apartment, almost to the door, when she heard the phone ring. Worried that it was bad news about the brunette, she answered it. "Hello?"
"It's me." Angel. "Is Faith there?"
"No. She took off. Angel, I… I messed up." Her voice cracked slightly as she put a hand over her eyes.
"Buffy, you've got to find her." His voice was firm, but filled with worry. Faith was like a little sister to him.
"I know. I was just…"
"No, you don't. Buffy, it's the Council. They're in Sunnydale. Their plane touched down about 20 minutes ago." He paused expecting to receive a response. "Buffy, they're going to kill her."
She stuck to the shadows, creeping slowly through the night, her senses on full alert. As far as she was concerned, she was on her own now. No one would be coming to her rescue this time. So she had to be careful. She had to be ready. The attack could come at anytime.
She knew the Watchers were back. She could feel it in her blood. Everything in her body, mind, and soul was screaming to her, warning her of danger, and calling her back to Hell.
Taking a deep breath, she pushed her fears aside and set out further into the darkness.
The warehouse was alive with movement. Watchers were moving from one end to the other, from the back rooms to the main room, setting up their equipment, preparing to set their plan into motion. One man stood apart from the others, directing various tweed-wearers around the building. It was this one man that received the information they had all been waiting for.
"She's been spotted. She's in the cemetery. Alone."
Stroking his chin in thought, he nodded at the news. "Well, you know what to do then. I want her body lying at my feet. Dead or alive."
The messenger nodded once before stepping away to complete his assigned task. He stopped at a large, heavily enforced door in front of him. Inside were two angry, snarling, drooling demons.
Their skin was a gray, leather-like material, covered by thick leather armor in blacks and browns, fur lining the edges. They each stood at a modest six feet, their faces almost human like, except for the solid black eyes and the bony ridges over their jaws and skulls. Seeing the young Watcher open the door, they grew quiet, giving him their full attention.
"It's time. The brunette slayer is yours. Only her. The others are of no concern to us." Stepping aside, he watched them walk past, drawing their swords.
Taking a deep breath, Buffy raised her hand and knocked on the door in front of her. Slowly, the door was opened to reveal the unreadable face of Xander.
"Come to your senses?" His voice was laced with contempt.
Fighting back tears, she couldn't help but let one slip. "I need your help."
Nodding slightly, he stepped aside and let her into the apartment, revealing that he wasn't alone. Willow, Tara, and Anya were quietly sitting on the couch, mixed emotions spread on their faces. "So," Xander asked from behind her. "What hell beast are you having trouble with now? Vampires? Demons? Your girlfriend?"
Holding up her hand, she shook her head. "Don't, Xander. Please? Faith is in trouble and it's all my fault."
Willow started to comment, her eyes flashing with hate at the mention of the brunette slayer, when Tara beat her to it. "Wh-what happened?"
She sighed sadly. "I screwed up. She just wanted to go on patrol and I snapped at her. I regretted it as soon as it happened, but I didn't do anything about it. When I got back, she was gone."
"It was probably for the best. She just would've hurt you again." Xander again, his tone mocking.
"The council is back in town. They are going to kill her." Her voice was forceful, her frustration slipping through. It didn't last long, though, before her frame sagged and her voice dropped to a whisper. "Please. You can't tell me that, after everything she's been through, you still hate her that much. I can't lose her." Pausing, she looked at all of them, begging. "Give her a chance. Please."
After making eye contact with everyone else, Willow spoke for the group. "Just for the record, we're doing this for you. Not her. That's going to take some time."
Buffy nodded in understanding before leading them out of the apartment.
With the Council in Sunnydale, the group had decided that searching would be safer in numbers. Together, they went to the Magic Box, where they dropped Anya and Tara off to stay with Giles and fill him in. Then they made their way from cemetery to cemetery, Buffy hoping that she had gone there to let off some steam. They found her at the third cemetery.
"Faith!" Buffy ran to her, gripping her into a tight hug. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry." Pulling away, she looked the brunette in the eye. "Please forgive me. I need you."
Eyes unsure, the younger slayer looked towards Xander and Willow, her unasked question hanging in the air.
"Yes, I need them, too." Reaching up, she pulled Faith's face down so that they were making eye contact again. "So they'll learn to deal. I love you," she said quietly.
Nodding, Faith let Buffy take her hand as they turned to leave the cemetery. She stopped, though, hearing a sound from their right.
That was when the attack came. Two leathery skinned demons with swords came flying out of the bushes, both heading towards Faith. Luckily, Buffy was able to head one of them off, leaving the other to deal with Xander, Willow, and Faith.
With two quick backhands, the two Scoobies were down for the count, leaving Faith alone with "Leather Face". Hand to hand they fought, exchanging blows and blocks, neither really taking the advantage.
In the meantime, Buffy was disarming her demon of his sword. With a quick beheading, she turned just in time to see the other demon swing his sword, slashing Faith across the stomach, causing the brunette to fall to the ground. Lifting the sword she was now carrying, she ran forward, bringing it down quickly to behead the second demon. As the body fell, she dropped the sword, kneeling down next to Faith.
Eyes wide open, the brunette took a ragged breath and stared at Buffy, surprise on her face.
"We've got to get you fixed up," the blonde said as she stood, helping the brunette up as well. Buffy heard her suck in a gasp of air, but Faith didn't make any other indication for her to stop.
Quickly, the four teens headed for the Magic Box. Once there, Xander locked the door behind them and everyone went to the back.
Sitting down on a bench with her back to the door, Faith watched Giles and Buffy walk around to kneel in front of her. Taking a deep breath, she prepared for Giles to examine the wound as the others filtered into the room, staying behind her.
"I, ahem… I can't get to the…" Giles gestured to Faith's stomach.
Nodding, she took her shirt off, causing those standing behind her to gasp in shock and cringe with sympathy pains. Closing her eyes, Faith tried to ignore them and their pity she could feel forming. That was when she felt someone take her hand. She opened her eyes to find herself staring into Buffy's hazel eyes.
"I love you."
Faith nodded, mouthing 'I love you.'
After the brunette was bandaged and lying down comfortably with her head in Buffy's lap, the group began to plan. There was no doubt that the Council would show up soon, so they needed to hide Faith.
"I know where we could go." Willow's voice was quiet. "There's a clearing out in the woods that Xander and I used to go to when we were younger. It won't be good for a permanent solution, but until we can figure something else out…"
Receiving no objection from the rest of the group, Buffy spoke for everyone. "It's perfect."
Quickly, everyone grabbed their things, each having an overnight bag in the closet for emergencies. All the bags contained a couple changes of clothing as well as whatever they considered a necessity. There were also a few duffel bags filled with food. Grabbing one, Giles picked up his other bag and led the group out of the shop through the back door.
Ten minutes later, the front doors were flung open as the Watcher's Council stormed the building.
They never made it to the woods. As Giles pulled up to a red light about two miles from their destination, their path was blocked by a large black Hummer. Property of the Watcher's Council. Quickly putting the car in reverse, Giles pulled a backwards U-turn before squealing off in the direction they had come from, his quick movements jostling the members of the tightly packed car. At the moment, Willow was grateful they hadn't contacted Tara and Anya yet, due to the danger and the lack of room.
Instead of pursuing however, the Watchers merely piled out of their vehicle as the driver took careful aim and shot out Giles' back passenger tire, causing the vehicle to squeal out of control as Giles slammed on his brakes. As soon as the small car was stopped, the occupants exited at lightning speed, with Watchers racing their way. Grabbing Xander, Buffy made sure she had his attention.
"Get Faith out of here. Get her to Giles' place now." Her tone of voice cut off any argument either brunette would have had, and they took off running down the street, following the tiny blonde's orders.
After seeing that her orders had been carried out, Buffy turned back to face the members of the Council, Giles and Willow by her side.
"We just want the rogue." A tall, well-built, brunette man stepped out of the center of the group of six Watchers. "We'd hate for anyone else to get hurt in the crossfire. You might want to save yourself the trouble, and hand her over now. Then we'll be out of your hair."
Buffy took a firm stance, steely determination in her eye. "You'll take her over my dead body. She's not going anywhere."
"We'd really hate to resort to those measures. I'm sure this can be handled civilly."
"Civilly my ass. You'll leave now. Without Faith. And you won't come back."
The black-clad Watcher nodded as he walked backwards. "I see, Miss Summers. It looks like you'll just have to decide who's more important: the rogue or the witch." He had turned back to the other Watchers. "It looks like we'll be going with plan B."
Before Buffy and the others could react, three of the Watchers had pulled out tranq handguns and shot them each once. They were on the ground and unconscious immediately.
He turned to the remaining two Watchers. "Grab the redhead. She'll give us the rogue for her best friend. And if not, there's always the backup plan."
About an hour later, Buffy woke up on the couch in Giles' living room. The first thing she saw was the hovering face of her girlfriend. "Ugh…" The blonde moaned, closing her eyes. "My head. What happened?" She opened her eyes again and Faith was gone. Instead, she saw Xander holding up a small dart.
"I'm thinking they tranq'd you." Xander put the dart down on the table before sneaking a look behind him. Sitting down next to the still-lying Buffy, he lowered his voice. "I think we were wrong. She made me take her back after five minutes. And when we found you… We thought you were dead. And Faith… I don't think I've ever seen anybody look so scared." Seeing Faith re-enter, he stood up and moved away from the couch, clearing his throat.
Faith took his place next to Buffy, a glass of water in one hand and two aspirins in the other. Setting the glass on the table, she reached forward to help her girlfriend sit up. Then she put the pills in Buffy's hand and motioned to the water on the table.
With a small smile, she took the pills before giving Faith a quick kiss. Looking into Faith's eyes confused Buffy. She saw love and relief, but also fear, insecurity, and guilt. And there, deep in the back, Buffy saw the one thing she never thought, but always feared she'd see. She saw resignation. Inside, deep inside, some part of Faith had given up, but what part was unknown.
Trying to shake off her feeling of foreboding, Buffy turned to Xander, who cut her off before she could speak.
"Giles is upstairs. We figured he'd take longer to wake up than you, so we put him in his room. Tara and Anya helped us get you over here. They're at the Magic Box now looking up some spells." He took a step forward, making sure he had her full attention. "Buffy, they took Willow."
Buffy paced in front of the bed she shared with Faith, who sat at the end. Xander had gone to the Magic Box to collect Anya and Tara and take them home. It had been decided that they would not go after Willow until after they were back at full strength, which meant waiting for Giles to come to. So the other three were going to go back to Xander's apartment and try to get some rest.
"It's my fault Willow got taken," Buffy whispered brokenly after she stopped pacing, though she didn't face Faith. "I should have known the Council would play dirty. I should have protected her. I—"
Buffy was physically interrupted by Faith reaching out and grabbing her hand. With a gentle tug, Faith pulled her girlfriend towards her so that Buffy was standing between Faith's legs, the brunette's arms wrapped loosely around her waist.
Faith wanted to comfort Buffy. She wanted to tell her that it wasn't her fault. Tell her that everything would be fine. But she had left her dry erase board in the living room and now didn't seem the time to go get it. So instead, she looked up at Buffy and tried to pour all her love and support into that one look.
With a small smile, Buffy leaned down and kissed her girlfriend. "I love you," she whispered.
"I love you," Faith mouthed back. Releasing an audible sigh, Faith tightened her grip around Buffy's waist and nuzzled her face into the blonde's stomach. She inhaled deeply, taking in Buffy's scent as Buffy bent over slightly and wrapped her arms around Faith's back. It wasn't enough though. Faith needed to be as close to her lover as possible. Pulling back slightly, she placed a kiss on the other girl's stomach through her clothes. Then she pushed up the bottom of Buffy's shirt and kissed her stomach in the same place, this time on bare skin.
Buffy pulled back a little and put her hands on the sides of Faith's face. Leaning down, she kissed her lover deeply, as if trying to express all her emotion in that one kiss.
When Buffy pulled away, Faith looked up at her, the brunette's eyes filled with love, adoration, and barely concealed lust. She slid her hands underneath Buffy's shirt, the shirt riding up slightly. She stopped, staring up at her lover in a silent request for permission. When Buffy nodded, Faith slowly stood, dragging the shirt with her, and gently pulled the shirt over Buffy's head. Then she pulled Buffy down, kissing the blonde tenderly but passionately.
When breathing became a necessity, Faith brushed her lips against Buffy's forehead. "I love you, B," she mouthed against the blonde's skin, sending a chill down Buffy's spine.
"I love you so much, Faith," she whispered back. Her need to be as close to the brunette as possible showed in her impatience as she tugged off Faith's shirt and removed both their bras. In her frenzy, she accidentally brushed against Faith's bandaged stomach, causing the brunette to flinch and hiss.
"Sorry," Buffy told her quietly.
Faith smiled at her girlfriend, reassuring her that everything was fine.
Relieved, Buffy gently pushed Faith back so that the younger girl was lying on the bed. Since they had been relaxing, both girls were already barefoot. Smiling, Buffy kissed Faith's stomach before unzipping the brunette's pants. Maintaining eye contact, Buffy slid off her lover's pants and underwear. Then she took a step back and removed her own clothes.
Her eyes held nothing but pure love as she crawled onto the bed next to Faith. Reaching over, she tugged slightly on the younger girl's arm, who rolled over to lie on top of the blonde, understanding that Buffy was giving up control to her.
That gesture just caused Faith to love Buffy even more, as she leaned down trying to pour all her emotion into a single kiss. She then trailed kisses across Buffy's jaw and neck, stopping briefly to gently suck on the skin where her neck met her shoulder. Satisfied with the small love mark she left, Faith continued her journey southward.
Faith lightly rested her body on top of Buffy's, most of her weight being supported by her forearms, which were lying flat next to Buffy's shoulders. Faith lightly kissed her lover on the lips and then on the forehead before dropping her head and nuzzling it into Buffy's shoulder. In response, Buffy brought her hand up and slowly ran it through the brunette's soft locks.
"What's wrong?" Buffy whispered, her voice full of concern, caused by the tension she could feel radiating off of the younger girl. Getting no response, Buffy placed her hand on Faith's shoulder, urging her to push up and look at Buffy, which Faith did. What Buffy saw in those dark brown eyes confused her. She saw love, but also resignation, determination, acceptance, and a sadness that tugged at Buffy's heart.
"What's going on?" Buffy begged her girlfriend to open up to her, but Faith just shook her head. "No. Don't tell me it's nothing. What's going on, Faith? What's wrong?"
Faith pulled back slightly, shaking her head. Then she gestured to herself and Buffy before holding her hand up, fingers spread wide. 'We're five by five.' She then waved her hand around the room before holding it flat again. 'Everything is five by five.' She leaned down and kissed Buffy before holding her hand up again with just her middle and ring fingers tucked in, a smile on her face. 'I love you.'
Buffy sighed, deciding to let the matter drop. "I love you, too." They could deal with this later, after they got Willow back. Then they would sit down for a nice long chat, and Buffy would drag it out of her if she had to. But right now, she just wanted to lie in bed with Faith, wrapped up in the comfort of her arms.
The Slayers and Scoobies charged into the warehouse to find a group of surprised Watchers. Quentin Travers stood directly in the middle of the room, and Faith made her way straight to him.
"I must admit, you're earlier than I had calculated." Quentin smiled, his voice light, but his eyes revealing his sinister plan.
Faith's response was to clock him right in the face. On this signal, the warehouse turned into a free-for-all, with Scoobies, Watchers, and a few vampires and small demons fighting it out with various weapons. Satisfied that Travers wasn't fighting back, Faith snapped a leg off of a nearby chair and staked the first vampire she came across.
The warehouse was in complete chaos. Demons were being killed and people were being thrown around. The Scoobies were fighting tooth-and-nail, knocking Watchers unconscious and killing demons and vampires with whatever means were available. As the crowd began to clear, Buffy found her best friend.
In a dark corner, Willow was being held in a chokehold by a Watcher, a gun against her temple. Buffy watched in horror as Willow's captor leveled his gun at Faith who was busy with a Watcher and a demon.
"Faith! Behind you!"
With a speed nobody could really process, Faith hit the Watcher with a left hook, before stabbing the demon in the heart with the knife in her right hand. Then, without a moment's thought, she pulled the knife from the demon and threw it behind her with deadly accuracy. As soon as the blade left her hand, Faith's eyes focused on and registered her target… her human target. For the dark Slayer, time seemed to slow to a halt as she watched the knife bury itself in the Watcher's right eye.
Willow's scream called the attention of everyone in the warehouse to the scene. Immediately, Xander and Tara ran to the redheaded witch, while Buffy ran to her unmoving girlfriend.
"Faith? Faith, look at me." Slowly, the younger girl made eye contact with her lover. Buffy was shocked by the guilt and despair she saw in Faith's eyes. "Baby, it's okay. You did what you had to."
"Congratulations, Miss D'Amato." All eyes turned to Quentin Travers, who stood unfazed in the middle of the room. "So much for that redemption, I see. I don't recall seeing 'murder' anywhere on the path to righteousness."
Faith seemed to deflate at his words. Buffy could see her lover withdrawing from her before her eyes. "No, Faith. Don't listen to him. You didn't have a choice."
"There's always a choice, Miss Summers."
Buffy wanted to beat that smug look right off Travers' face. But her attention was focused on Faith. Unfortunately, so was Travers'.
"What are you going to do, Faith?" Travers' voice was the only thing Faith could hear. "An accidental murder, according to Miss Summers. But isn't that how it started last time? With an accidental murder? And I believe we all know how that ended." Travers could tell by Faith's expression that his words were getting through. "Save everyone the time and heartache and come with us now. Even you must admit that you need help, in order to keep you from going back down your previous path."
Faith's mind was racing. Thoughts of her past, her past with Buffy, her time in hell, the people she'd killed. Everything slammed into her, piled on her, and threatened to drown her. No individual thought stood out, just the feelings all the thoughts invoked: guilt, fear, confusion over what to do now. And then Buffy's voice broke through, drawing all of Faith's attention to her lover.
"I'd suggest you not say anything else, Quentin." While the others were distracted, Buffy had made her way to the back corner, where she picked up the fallen Watcher's gun. The gun that was now trained on Travers. Slowly, Buffy made her way back over to Faith, her eyes and her gun still trained on Quentin.
Buffy knew it was irrational. Threatening and possibly killing Travers was not the way to go. It was stooping down to their level. But Buffy also knew that she couldn't let them take Faith. She knew the younger girl would not survive, and there was no way she was letting them send Faith back to hell. So she considered it the last act of a desperate woman. Wrong or not, Buffy saw no other choice.
Meanwhile, Buffy's actions were causing Faith to go into her own mental argument. Part of her was cheering. Because if Buffy was willing to go this far for her, she must really love her. On the other hand, she loved Buffy too much to see her go down that path, to let her kill in cold blood. But she also knew where Buffy was coming from. Faith knew as well as Buffy did that the Council would never stop until they got what they wanted. As long as Faith was free and with Buffy, they would never be safe. They would always be running and always be looking over their shoulders. There was only two ways to stop it: either the Council got Faith, or they took down the Council. And Quentin Travers was the best place to start.
But Faith refused to let Buffy lower herself to that level. Slowly, so as not to spook the small slayer, Faith took the gun from Buffy, still keeping it trained on Travers. Then she leaned in and lightly kissed Buffy before mouthing "I love you."
"I love you, too," Buffy whispered, the fear and confusion showing in her eyes.
Faith couldn't let Buffy kill Quentin, but she also couldn't go back to the Council's version of Hell. And as Quentin had told Buffy, there's always a choice. So it came down to two options: Faith or Quentin? Quentin or Faith?
The Scoobies stood, forgotten, in the background. And they watched in horror as Faith pulled the trigger.
The Council is gone. They packed up and left as soon as possible. Without Faith. Her shooting Travers really showed them that no matter what it takes, she's not going back to Hell. But we also know that they won't stop trying as long as they see her as a threat. They'll go back to England and regroup. Then they'll come back and we'll go through the same fight all over again. And we'll be ready for them. Whatever it takes, Faith is staying with me.
I almost lost her. I'm all too aware of just how close she came to turning the gun on herself. I could see it in her eyes as she struggled to decide which was more important to her: her life or her redemption. She may have willingly killed a man, but I don't care. She's here with me, and I know she's not evil. I know this doesn't mean she'll go back down that path. Things are different this time.
I see her pain and regret. She's become withdrawn and she hardly eats. But I never stop telling her I love her and that I'm always going to be there for her. And when the Council comes back, I won't let her be put back in that position. I won't let the pain and guilt eat her up the way it does now. I'll kill whoever it takes myself.
Faith fought her way out of Hell to get back to me. I'll fight like hell to keep her.