Chase This Night
by Poet
Rating: NC-17

+21=22=23=24=25+

PART 21

The kid asked a damn good question. And as far as Faith was concerned, she had the answer. She was outta here. Now would be the perfect time to make a little escape. When everyone was relaxing, taking some time off from all things end-o-times.

All the tension, the doubts the fears… they were crushing in on her. She had thought she’d had a handle on it, especially after last night. Why was she feeling this way? Things were supposed to be getting better!

It had seemed as though she was finally ready to move past it all, she had all she needed to right? She had her love.

Faith could still hear the words, Buffy’s whispered declarations as they made love. It had all been so complete and she had felt perfectly whole. But then the dreams, they had ripped it all to shreds. And now Faith felt like tatters blowing in the wind.

Faith had awoken lost, disoriented. She could still feel the hard steel under her fists; smell that stale and acrid air. It had been tinged with blood. God, it had been so much blood.

And even though Faith knew it wasn’t real, that Buffy really hadn’t been there this time the sight had was burned into her mind all the same. She had tried to close her eyes, block it out and find sleep again, but the tears only burned hot rivers on her face.

And she could still see it all. It was what she had been, what she knew she would always be capable of.

It had been all that darkness that had pulled her from the comfort of Buffy’s arms and she’d looked for the sun.

It had been ok this morning, been so much better when B had come looking for her, held her kissed her. But as she left the thoughts had started up again, and it had only gotten worse as the day wore on. Sitting there, watching them all… how could she possibly belong here?

Simplest answer. She didn’t. Right?

Faith thought so and she was just at the front door, hand on the handle and everything, but the voice behind her brought her to a stop.

“You running off again?” She said gently, and Faith swore she could hear a challenge. She turned around.

“Nah, just ahh… need a little air is all.” Faith tried to make it sound convincing, but she knew she couldn’t ever get anything past this girl.

Tara smiled at the attempt. And yeah, it was a challenge.

“It is a little tense around here… I could see how you’d have trouble dealing.” She came closer as she spoke so they were both in the foyer.

“I’m dealin’ ok I think.” Tara eyed the hand that was still gripping the door handle. “Ok, so maybe I’m not dealin’ all that well.”

“What’s changed? I mean last night… the graveyard… you and Buffy seemed, well… umm.” Tara gestured, the blush spreading across her cheeks.

“Yeah last night…and this mornin’.” Faith couldn’t help but grin, blush a little herself as she thought about being in the other girl’s arms. But that was the thing… all that contentment that love it felt shaded, tainted by feelings she couldn’t understand.

“Oh!? Umm…Right…” Tara’s blush had spread all the way to the roots of her hair by now “Anyway, now first chance… you’re looking for some ‘air’? What gives?”

“I got no clue Tara, it’s just…see I—”

And a near confession was cut short, as Willow stepped into the room, cautious, her eyes jumping between Tara and Faith.

“Tara sweetie, what’s going on?” She smiled, but it was a fake smile.

“I was just talking to Faith.”

“Yeah, I see that… why?” And Faith saw exactly where this was heading. She thought it best she make that escape before another round of Willow-rage like yesterday.

“Look Willow, it's nothin’ I was just leavin’ and—”

“No Faith, you’re not…” Faith had made to grab the door again, but Tara had grabbed her.

“Well if she wants too...” and then Red had grabbed Tara. And it was just a little thing, a tiny sprig of something that Faith never would have noticed. It had fallen like an afterthought from Willow’s sleeve…

“Will? Baby, what’s this?" But Tara noticed. She picked up the frail looking branch from the floor and Faith watched the frown that made a slow creep across her gentle brow. “Ginger leaf? You’ve been having bad dreams?”

It was asked gently, nothing but concern.

“Ahh... yeah, it's just a little something for sleep. Nothing hard Tara I swear.” But Willow’s eyes were nothing but worry.

“I believe you Willow, it's ok. We talked about it remember? I know you’re giving it up.” But Faith didn’t believe her. And it sure as hell wasn’t 'ok'. In fact it was like a big ass piece in the middle of the puzzle just got filled.

“Hey T? You think me and your girl can talk a little? I wanna try and work some stuff out.”

Tara had smiled, looked hopeful, thankful at Faith before she turned and brushed her lips quickly over Willow’s. The small gesture had erased the contempt in the red-head's eyes. It was for only a moment though. Willow’s expression slammed shut like a vault the minute they were alone.

It didn’t faze Faith one bit. Not now that she knew.

“Ya know Red, a hell of a lot has changed since last time I was here.” She tried a smile.

“Yeah, it happens. What’s your point Faith?” Willow only glared, and Faith knew it was time to drop the pleasantries.

“Well I just never thought you’d be the one to make a little trip to my side of the tracks.”

“What are you talking—”

“Save the shit Red. You might got your girl and all the rest of them fooled. But I know what’s the what. I know that little dark place that gets you all hot, how you can’t quit… I lived it. All that power the control that rushes through you it hooks you.”

“I can stop when ever I want.” It sounded dry, without emotion. It was practiced. Faith knew that tone all too well.

“Yeah you keep tellin’ yourself that. But more than that… I know you’re fuckin’ with me.” She stepped closer, throwing the words, the truth at the other girl. But it was without venom, without malice. Just the truth. And faced with that Willow started backing away, shaking her head in denial.

“You’re still psychotic.”

“Depends on who ya ask. But it doesn’t change that I know.” And Faith felt a little bit of spite that time, a little satisfaction as Willow’s eyes widened in realization, but she forced it down, she wouldn’t go there again. “Don’t worry ‘bout it Red. It’s only fair right?”

“What’s fair?”

“I knew what the deal was with you, back in the day. With Buffy. I knew, and I didn’t like it and I fucked with your head every chance I got.”

It was raw, it was honest and Faith felt lighter for speaking it.

“It’s not like that any more. I love Tara.” Faith was at least glad she didn’t even try to deny it. Why bother right? Now that they both knew where they were coming from.

“Yeah I know. Doesn’t mean it still doesn’t sting a little yeah? Especially now.”

“So now you win or something?” And Willow’s sigh sounded like defeat to Faith. “You’re gonna go tell them all how Willow is just as evil as Faith, show them really that you’re all of the good?”

And the witch didn’t realize how far off she was. But Faith couldn’t blame her. It was expected… was something she would have done in a heartbeat, back then.

“First off Willow, you can never be as evil as me. Like, not even close." She said it even though she wasn't quite sure anymore. Not after all she'd seen, after those dreams. She rememberd those black eyes... "And second, no. I aint tellin’ this stays between you and me. But it ends, like now. Whatever you did to fuck with my head. It's over.”

“Fine.” And that was easier than she’d thought. But Willow's eyes still looked like ice. But Faith pushed on, knew she had to say this next part.

“And last. And this is the part you’re really gonna love see, I’m gonna help you.”

“What?! You… what can… help?” At least that callous, frozen expression was gone. Red wore shocked and flustered a lot better anyways.

“Don’t bust a vein Red. See, Buffy she’s… she’s like, everything to me. And what you’re doin’ this magic, she’s worried, and hurt… and so are Tara and Xand.”

“They don’t understand. With all the bad we face, it's been getting worse. And ever since her mom died, it's like Buffy’s been looking for it… She can’t do it alone.”

“You're right. And she won’t have to… but losing yourself ain’t the answer either. Look I don’t think you’re wrong. I’m always down for a little more fire power, and if ya get a little tingly as a result, that’s sweet too. Just think about the source of it, that’s all I’m sayin’.”

Faith reasoned, she didn’t want to go the whole condemnation route. She knew first hand how much that DIDN’T work. She just wanted to give Willow something to think about.

“I’ll think about it, Faith.” See, and it worked! “I’m gonna see if Giles has had any luck with Xander’s orbs.” Willow said then, just a hint of a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.

“Willow, tell me YOU didn’t just say that!”

“Things change Faith.” And this time Willow gave her a full smile.

“And not always for the worse…” Faith said softly, watching as the other girl left in search of answers. And Faith felt, at least for now they had reached some understanding. Almost instantly she began to feel the weight, the pressure of her doubts lifting. Her soul felt lighter, and instead of screaming out her fears, it was singing for her love.

Things were finally starting to look up.

PART 22

Riley stood uneasily by the door facing the slightly disheveled British man from across the room. To the ex-marine, he looked like some being that was not wholly of this world, something far more nefarious than anything that could be spawned of the earth. A shadow made real; clothed predictably in all black, the older man’s image was emblematically evil, a sinister whispering of intent.

A sullen voice crackled distantly from the battered clock radio. A painfully soulful melody that clung to the decrepit walls and hung herself in the humid air, she kept company with rank smell of bourbon and cigarettes that draped the stale motel room like a shroud.

It was a fitting place for betrayal.

“You wanted to see me?” The door hinge groaned when he shut the door.

Though, betrayal wouldn’t have been the term the ex-marine would have used. No, this was NOBLE work. Something they would all thank him for. Something Buffy would love him for.

Love him forever.

The man from the Council was seated at the small table by the window, early evening sun filtering in across his unshaven face. The wax-yellow rays only aided in making his gaunt form appear more haggard. Sinking his black eyes deeper in his skull, hardening the sharp planes of his face.

He fingered a small black velvet bag.

“Come in Mr. Finn, sit down.”

Riley hesitated a moment before crossing the room. The heavily accented voice was unusually light. That crooked smile pulled at his features, deepening the lines of time.

Humor, of the most morbid since of course. They were here to discuss death.

Riley sat opposite the dark man with no name. Anxious. The endless seconds of silence only added to his discomfort.

A moth fluttered across his vision, landed on the window.

He shifted in his seat, beads of sweat formed above his lip, his left leg bobbed, rapid-tense. The man in black only grinned wider, seemingly nonchalant, but Riley felt scrutinized on a cellular level.

And now, to the point where he couldn’t take it anymore, he was just about to speak when the Councilman slid the bag across the table. And there was another moment’s pause before Riley was able to venture opening it.

“You have them?” He spoke in a surprised and hushed tone, gazing at the two crystal spheres that now lay exposed in his hand. They were small, both resting spaciously in his palm. They caught the sparse light and glittered colors he didn’t realize existed. “How?” Riley asked, awed. An exhale that was mostly patronizing crossed the table.

“Did you honestly think, Mr. Finn, that the Council wasn’t fully aware of the situation here in Sunnydale?” That twisted smile, it called him ‘Foolish boy’ and for it Riley had no response.

“This is good.” He said instead, cautious. “It’s what we need to defeat the Ancient.”

“Of course it is. It’s what YOU will need. After tonight, the Slayer issue you will be moot. They will both be…” He paused, lit a cigarette, and grinned smoothly “Incapable, as you know.”

Riley watched the glowing, burning ash.

“Oh, tonight?” He hadn’t expected this. Not so soon.

“Surely you wish the process to begin immediately, so that you may pursue your own plans. Your own… desires?”

And Riley thought about his desires. About how every day that past Buffy drew further away from him, closer to that slut, that garbage. The thought brought a hot rage to his chest. It flowed, branched out like creeping vines to every corner of his body, consuming him.

Grey smoke curled around his head, horns and whiskers; Riley breathed deep. Pleasure second-hand.

“Right. Sooner the better.” His jaw set and any hesitancy felt was replaced by raw determination. He felt fierce, felt like he would win.

Certainty spread across his lips and his smile began to match the man seated across from him.

Two needles were slid across the table. Olive liquid swam thickly in the sparse light.

“What does it do?” Riley kept his hands flat on the cheep formica. His fingertips itched.

“A powerful, mystical formula. The smaller one is for the dark slayer. The dose will incapacitate her long enough for transport. The larger will rob Ms. Summers of her powers entirely. Permanently.”

“Side effects?”

“Minimal, she may be incapacitated for a few days. After this is done you will return Faith and the crystals to my possession. You can do what you like with the other.”

Riley thought about what he wanted to do with Buffy, to Buffy. And that hot rage swirled with something raw. The slow familiar creep of arousal filled his mind with deeds and images yet to be acted upon. He felt his muscles burn with anticipation, stir with longing... a hard throb in his pants.

The older man across from him smirked like he knew.

“We will be patrolling tonight.” He offered, ignoring that perceptive grin. He waited, hoping for orders. He needed a plan. A plan that would lead him, without fail, to his goal.

“I will be following with operatives.” An uninterested sigh and a cloud of smoke was released. “Get the rogue alone and inject her. The affects will be nearly immediate. We will then collect and transport her to the remaining labs of your former employers.”

“Right.” Riley wondered briefly what would happen then. What would happen to Faith at the hands of the Council and former Initiative. Experiments of some sort he was sure. He knew of the disturbing things that would go on there.

But Riley Finn wasn’t disturbed in the least…in fact, he couldn’t care less.

And besides, what good is there in wondering? A good soldier, a right and perfect soldier doesn’t ask questions. That was a concept his Buffy could never really grasp. She was just so silly in that way. So very inappropriate. He would be sure to fix that little flaw as soon as possible.

The thought of fixing her made him smile as he stood. He would make her perfect.

“I will see you tonight then?” Riley extended his hand. It was taken after a moment of snide consideration.

“Of course Mr. Finn. Until tonight.” He didn’t stand up.

The evening sun was a glaring contrast to the dank interior of the motel room and he had to squint as he eyed his prize, the tool that would set it all in motion. It was going to be a new beginning for he and Buffy. A chance to finally put Sunnydale, monsters and all that other nonsense behind them. Soon they would be Mid-west bound and never looking back to this freak show.

Riley could hardly wait.

*****

As I make my way down the basement stairs the sound I hear makes me pause. It’s loud, constant, and very familiar.

THWAP! THWAP! THUMP! Over and over.

It’s the distinct sound of fists pounding into tight stretched vinyl. It’s comforting in a way that’s strange and violent in equal parts.

But hey, that’s me right?

After my little chat with Red I had another conversation with Tara. And I so totally dig that chick! She’s so… hell I don’t know, solid, so stable. She grounded me some and it was just what I needed after all that wicked insecurity flying through my head all morning.

Turns out she and Willow had talked it all out. Well, more like yelled and screamed and cried it all out. She helped me understand what’s going on with Red a little better. How she’s afraid to stop the magic. How she thinks the minute she does, everything will fall apart… she’s just scared. In the same way that we’re all scared. The magic just gives her some sense of control, security.

It all made me want to find B. She was the one I should’ve been talkin’ it all over with. And plus, I just plain MISSED her. Man that’s so fuckin’ crazy!

It’s not a feeling I’m used to see. But it feels kinda good… knowing she’s there inside me and I can finally go to her whenever I want.

Scary, but good.

So I had searched the whole house and the back yard too, lookin’ for her. And now I find her here, amongst their collection of punching bags and training equipment. I guess after all the hours of research she needed to get a little physical. Plus with me being all with the quiet, the distant…

THWAP! THWAP! THUMP! Over and over.

I stop on the middle stair and just let the image of a hot and sweaty B run through my mind. Man that’s nice. That’s how it's supposed to be. Not like earlier, with the bad and tainted thoughts, cursed thoughts. But I handled all that mess with Willow. I at least, I think I did.

Well… lets just call it an ‘understanding’.

I understand that she’s pissed as hell that I’m gonna be stickin’ around. She understands that I’m still gonna be stickin’ around. And we’ll both just deal. Yup.

Things are definitely lookin’ up.

I hope at least. I hit the bottom tread and the energy that’s spiraling around the room almost makes me gasp. I smile at the thought of B gettin’ so worked up that she just had to go beat the crap outta something. It's frustration man! All the translating and stuff ended up giving us some real good news, but that actually makes it kinda worse… cause now see, we’re ready for the action.

And I’m SO all about the action. But with it still being light out, there’s only a few options left for gettin’ with the hot and sweaty.

THWAP! THWAP! “Ugh!”

The constant pummeling is intermixed with scattered grunts and mumbled… expletives? Damn, I think she’s pissed.

“So fuckin’ stupid, ugh!” And I wince, actually feel for the heavy bag. “Can’t believe--ugh! All silent—I’m soooo broody-- raah! Fuckin’ ugh! Make--”

THAWP

“Up!” THUMP

“Your!” THWAP

“MIND!!”

She shouts the last part and lays into the bag with a punch so hard it goes flyin’ off its chains.

Double damn, I think she’s pissed at me. Hmm… wonder if Giles needs any help with the books… No, I can deal with this.

“Gettin’ the frustrations out B?” I ask gently, with a smile. Stepping into the room, into her realm.

“Yep.” She doesn’t even turn around to face me, just steps over the fallen heavy bag, and walks over to the dummy. She starts layin’ into it somethin’ fierce, and I feel sorry for its plastic blue head.

I know why she’s pissed. Mixed signals as usual… All this back and forth stuff must be making her insane. This morning everything is roses then I went all moody detached bitch.

But it wasn’t my fault! For once.

Damn, those dreams, just the thought cuts the air cold in my lungs. Red’s spell or whatever it was, it fucked me up somethin’ serious. Turned and twisted every doubt and reservation I thought was put to rest, everything that I know B saves me from, brought up all that darkness and reminded me exactly what it is I am…

A killer and a fuck up that should be locked up.

No, WAS. Damn it I WAS those things. See, it’s still got me all wrong, feelin’ so dirty, like that killer-craze is creepin’ back under my skin.

I need my light.

“You pissed at me?” I ask her taking a few steps closer. I’m brave, officially within striking distance here. All she’s gotta do is turn around.

I shove my hands in my pockets and watch as her back muscles tense and stretch, the sheen of sweat makes her glimmer. I try not to think about that skin covered in blood.

“You could say that.” She backhands the dummy.

I’m really no good with this type shit.

“Listen, B, I didn’t mean to—” But she cuts me off, spins around so fast, and now she’s right in my face.

“Didn’t mean to what, Faith!?” She’s breathing hard, skin flushed and I can almost hear the adrenaline speeding just below the surface. My heart is suddenly pounding. I can’t help my eyes as they flick down to take her in. That tight body wrapped in nothing but a tiny pair of gray shorts and a thin white tank. I lock onto a bead of sweat as it travels down her chest, between her breasts. It disappears and I force my eyes back to meet hers.

I swallow, hard.

And as I stare into her eyes I realize she’s not all that pissed. Her eyes actually look… kinda sad. And now my heart is doing something else all together. Like jumpin’ up into my throat.

“Buffy…” God I don’t know what to say! It's like looking at her just blankets my mind. Fills my head with nothin’ but her presence, nothin’ but the knowledge of how right it is to be this close to her. How fuckin’ wrong it is that she’s hurting.

“I just wanna be enough for you.” She fills in the silence and even though her whisper was directed at the floor it still feels like she hit me harder than she was going after the dummy… hell maybe I’m the real dummy here?

Damn it she can’t think that can she?! That SHE’S not enough?

“You don’t really think that, you know it’s not true.” I cup my hands gently around her face, fingers sinking into the damp strands as they cling to the nape of her neck. Wishing I had the words…I try to convince her with my eyes, she HAS to know!

But she’s just shaking her head. Staring at where her hands are clutched in my t-shirt.

“Why are you shutting me out then? Being all distant? I mean, last night, then this morning… in the kitchen, I thought—”

“And you’re right B! It was so… it was so perfect” I kiss her forehead, taste the salt, I feel her breath against my ear as she speaks.

“Then tell me what’s wrong. Tell me why you can’t look at me… haven’t said more than three words to me today until now?”

And here is the decision. Whole truth or half. I settle for most.

And it's not to protect Willow, and it sure as fuck isn’t to protect myself… she already knows what I am. It’s to protect B. ‘Cause I know how bad it’ll hurt her to find out how low her friend got, how easily she can loose someone else over to the darkness. B thought last night was bad, that Red’s binge was as deep as it went. Knowin’ Willow actually went after me with the voo-doo… that might tore them apart forever.

I just hope this is the right thing… just hope it’s enough.

“It was a dream…” I start. And it all comes out. About the rooftop, the Torak, and the knife. I tell her how her eyes melted my soul as the knife slid into her. I tell her about prison, being trapped in that damn cell again. Being so cold inside. I talk about her blood how its sticky warmth mocked me. And I tell her how she walked away, left me alone and desperate.

I tell her how I’m always alone…

I tell all but the source and pray that she can understand.

“Look at me baby.” It’s spoken softly and I didn’t even realize I had closed my eyes. Guess it made it easier. The first thing I see is the tiny frown on her forehead. “Why didn’t you say anything this morning?” She asks finally, and I’m so glad there’s no anger there. But what can I say when faced with all that concern? Christ, all that love?

I chose to look at the floor instead, step outta her arms a little, ‘cause it's just too much ya know?

“I just, it's not something I’m used to doin’… the sharing. Never really had anyone to listen, to really even give two shits ya know? Why start now right?”

Ok… fuck. Please tell me I didn’t say that. Real adult there, slayer. Why do I always fall back on that? Back on my past… all those old good for shit excuses! How can I ever expect her to understand if I can’t even put it to words, can’t even tell her how all this just plain terrifies me?!

I watch and feel helpless as she frowns a bit, shakes her head. God why do I even fuckin’ bother!?

I try to step further away I gotta get out of here, but she doesn’t let me, she doesn’t say a word either, just runs her hands softly, slowly across my face.

It’s quiets my soul, but makes my heart speed up all at once.

And in this moment, here in this tiny basement, nothin’ else even exists. Just me and just her. With the soft rays of afternoon sneaking in through the only window to touch her flushed skin, it's like she’s glowing in my arms. And I can feel that light every time she touches me. It's melting away all that fear, that disgust that burns like heavy acid in my chest… she frees me from it, and it's so beautiful. Her eyes follow her hands and I wish to god I knew what she was lookin’ for. I’d give her anything she wants. Can she feel how fast my heart is beatin’ right now? Can she feel it?

Her thumbs finally brush across my lips and I can’t stop the little gasp it pulls from me. I can’t believe how right this feels, how right she just made it.

“I was really worried ya know.” She says softly, at last, just a whisper, choosing to ignore my minor freak-out. Her lips brush mine and I gasp again, wrap my arms back around her waist. Relief fills me as our lips part.

“I know.” I sigh, I admit. “The funny thing is, I didn’t tell you because I DIDN’T want you to worry ya know?”

“Yeah. Funny. I broke the heavy bag and almost decapitated Mr. punch-n-stuff!”

“I’m sorry B. I just… I’ve always dealt on my own. Just--just don’t think you’re not enough for me, ok? God, y-you’re everything… you know that yeah? Back in the day I could hardly think of anything else… and now?! Fuck, B do you get it? Really, it's like all I could ever— ”

I’m really trying to make her see, tell her all that I’m feeling… but it’s just so much to feel. And at my ranting babble the pout disappears, replaced by a funny little smile. I feel her hands tighten in my hair and she holds me closer.

She cuts me off.

“Faith?”

“Huh?”

“Shush.” I shut up quick and she kisses my mouth briefly, too briefly. God it’s such a soft heat.

“You don’t have to hide from me ok? You don’t have to deal with stuff like this alone... not anymore. I get you, ok? I love you.”

And fuck, I know in my heart that it’s true. All of it… she GETS me!

“Yeah, and I’m startin’ to get that now.” I grin and she smiles, but her eyes are so intense.

“Good. Trust it Faith, I need you to trust this, to trust me.” It’s a low murmur, almost a growl; I feel it rumbled out of her chest and against mine, and then I feel those lips again. A slow pass across my lips, she sucks on the bottom one and I sigh. She’s quick to take advantage, slidin’ her tongue in deep, wrapping it around mine, and I try to push back, but her mouth is just in total control.

Nobody kisses like B. So aggressive and insistent, like a first kiss… or a last. She always gives me everything she has and demands it right back. So I just give it to her, my control, my heart, my fear my need. It’s all in this kiss and it feels like freedom.

And I do trust her. I trust this.

It has me shaking, all gasps and sighs… she holds me closer, tighter as she takes it all. With soft plump lips and hot slick tongue… she takes it and keeps it safe. She gives me love in return.

God, her hands feel so good, one in my hair, nails scraping gently against my scalp the other makin’ lazy patterns low on my back. It's heaven and I don’t ever wanna leave. Even though my lungs are ‘bout to burst, even though she’s starting to pant against my mouth; even though I can hear those needy whimpers breakin’ in my throat, her hands tightening around me, muscles in her arms tremble, slick skin glides across my bare arms…. Fuck I need this.

I pull away, barely a gasp. A second of escape.

But that’s it ‘cause god…she pulls me back so quick, she’s kissin’ me again. Harder and so deep it’s getting outta control… she’s losing control. It feels desperate, like she’s desperate for me, it’s a need so pure, so unquestioning. She’s asking nothing but for me to believe… she’s frantic for me to believe… her words, her heart. And I moan as she gives herself to me. It’s messy and rough and I need to feel more of her. So much more…

I want to give her everything, want to give her my heart. I wanna take her how she’s taking me. The thought has me on fire.

My hand slips over the clingy damp material of her tank, down to cup the firm curve of her ass. I squeeze and pull her to me tight, she starts suckin’ on my tongue and I can feel my knees getting week. How can she reduce me to this? So wet I’m shakin’ with the need, and every deep throb between my legs matches the strokes of her tongue, every eager twitch of my clit comes from the sucking pull of her lips.

I try and push harder into the kiss, press her harder against the wall, let her know exactly where she’s pushin’ me… where I need this to go… but she whimpers and finally pulls her mouth away. I’m left to gasp against the salty sweet skin of her neck, so hot it almost burns my lips.

I lick up to her ear, feel her shiver. Fuck, I want her so much… I wanna—

“So do you think it means anything?” She asks out of NO WHERE!

I pull back a little, but all I can look at is that mouth, wet and swollen and, God! She can’t kiss me like that and then expect me to concentrate!

“What means… huh?” I pant. It’s disbelief and awe in equal parts. What happened to the kissing!? I try and lean back in, catch those cherry lips again. My hands are playing at the bottom edge of her shorts... that blurry line between cotton and flesh.

“Baby…” She kinda giggles, chastising a little, and pushes back some, which really doesn’t help things here ‘cause now I’m looking at the rest of her.

The rest of her that’s still dressed in a skimpy tank that’s damn near see through!!

But now all I’m holding is her hands. She swings ‘em back and forth; she looks nervous, biting that lip.

Fuck, what’s happening here?

“B?” I ask, trying to calm it some. Trying to really see her, blinking through the lust-haze. Her eyes are dartin’ all over the place.

“The dream, I mean-- I wasn’t really there this time, so technically it wasn’t a ‘Slayer’ dream, but you ARE a Slayer so I guess every dream is a ‘Slayer’ dream, but—”

“B, you’re makin’ me dizzy here.” She stops her babble, takes a breath and finally looks at me.

“The whole j-jail thing umm, I wouldn’t leave you-- ya know that right? You trust me not to hurt you? ‘Cause things, they’re different now right? I mean I know you don’t still hate me or anything—I-I just…”

She stops again and I sigh, try my best to look supportive. I stroke her hair and look in her eyes hoping I don’t show all the worry that’s rushin’ up on me again.

“Just spit it out B.”

And she does. Fast.

“What if the dream means that deep down you really still hate me for hurting you and that you want to hurt me back and it’ll all go back to being bad with the hating and betrayal and the us NOT being an US anymore!?”

She takes a breath, finally, and I take the pause in the insanity to pull her back to me. I really couldn’t stand the distance.

“Baby…” She says again all flirty and I brush my lips over hers again. But just for a sec. I have to tell her somethin’ because through it all it's obvious she’s more than a little worried.

I never thought that SHE would be so insecure about all of this. I thought we established that I was the one with all the reasons to be all about the angst. So I whisper the words in the inches between us, keep her eyes locked with mine. Enough of the bullshit, enough of the hiding…

“The dream didn’t mean anything B. Nothin’. Just a lot of old loathing that still haunts me from time to time. And you’re helping me through, saving me from all that. Every time you look at me with that smile, every time you kiss me, trust me… You know that right? You know how much I need you? How I’ve always needed you?”

She smiles and my heart flips. She’s blushin’ for me. But I know that’s not enough. I know what she needs to hear, the words I’ve been so damn scared of speaking since I let it slip that first night.

“B…” And her eyes are gettin’ all big, shiny. She must have figured me out. It makes me smile as I say it. “Buffy, I love you.”

A bead of sweat drips from her ear, splashes on the back of my hand.

“Faith, baby…” she sniffs back the tears, her smile is almost blinding. I say it again, my own voice a little tight.

“I-I love you.”

Oh man… wow. Ok, don’t freak.

And we just stand there for a moment. Holding each other, feeling everything that’s melting around us. I’m trapped in her eyes and it’s beautiful custody.

“I love you too.” She whispers, sighs such a content sound. “And I’m sorry I kinda freaked, went all doubt-girl on ya.” That cute grin is back again, and I feel her arms tighten around my waist.

“Forget it, the freakin’ was justified… So we good then?”

“Hmm. I don’t know… tell me again?” Oh now she’s teasin’, not that I mind.

“I love you B.” It's getting easier, but still… wow ya know?

“Ok. Now we’re good.” She says and to prove it, she places a delicate kiss on my shoulder. “Just no more with the bottled up issues ok? I want us to be able to talk about everything.”

Her hands are moving slow. All over my back, fleeting caresses down to my ass, then back up. Her fingertips sneak up under my shirt a little. Yeah sure, talk.

“Any time B.” I just gotta grin at her, ‘cause that spark is back in her eyes. I know what this means. I give her my bedroom eyes, run my tongue across my lip. She can’t look anywhere else, those hands still movin’. “So, you feel like talkin’ now?” I growl, pressing up against her even more. Oh man that feels good, she’s so soft, the heat from her skin infusing me.

“Nope.” She tells me, all flirty and that’s fuckin’ perfect ‘cause now I’m gonna just lean in and—

Suddenly my feet aren’t on the floor!

“Fuck! B!” I gasp, not shriek, no way did I shriek. My legs go around her waist on pure instinct. “Put me down!”

“Nope!” She laughs, and it’s such a wild, pure and joyful sound as she spins me a couple of times before plopping me down on a low vaulting bench. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her laugh like this, like the light and carefree chime of bells... seen a smile reach so far into her eyes, like it's pourin’ straight from her soul. And I realize, in this simple but stunningly beautiful moment, that she’s happy. That I made her happy! “Baby…” She says quietly that unbelievable smile making my heart tremble “I want you to know that you’re not alone in all this, in the pain. I won’t leave you Faith, ever. I promise…ok?”

Everything I ever needed to hear. “Ok…” I tell her ‘cause I don’t think I can say anything else.

She’s grinnin’ at me all victorious now, making her eyebrows dance the way I usually do. And I’m catchin’ flies. Nothing has ever felt this perfect… and she SO got me. Good thing I love her, the little shit.

“So, all that trainin’ got you feeling kinda aggressive B?” I finally recover with a tease, I’m tryin’ to regain my pride here! I love how the mood is shifting, how I can almost feel the strength between us, a slow burn that builds with every touch.

She’s eyeing me up now, like a kid with a new toy or somethin’… and I’m so glad she’s wanting to play. Hard to believe just a few minutes ago she was feelin’ all unsure about us.

“It ain’t the training F, I just like the thought of sweeping you off your feet.” And it almost sounds predatory!

Ok, I’m liking this side of her I think. She’s finally startin’ to embrace it.

She’s standing so close, between my legs, runnin’ her hands up and down my thighs, her nails draggin’ over my jeans and I’m gettin’ chills.

I can feel this heat radiating off her skin, this power that lies just underneath the surface. It has her muscles tense, anticipating; makin’ her shake a little. And she’s letting it rule her… letting it drive this moment and trusting me to accept it. I drag my mouth over the perfect column of her neck and feel her groan; whisper my name. My hands slip under that tank, hot damp skin prickles against my fingertips.

“So what’s got you so worked up then?” I tease her more, whisper the words right in her ear, keeping that low dangerous rumble in my voice. I wanna see how far she’ll take this.

I feel that shiver again, and she answers me by letting our mouths collide, letting her tongue make a wet lazy dance ‘round mine before moving on… down my neck, tiny kisses before she sucks the skin hard, and I know she’s gotta be marking me somethin’ serious. The thought, the feeling of it shoots a thrill through me, and I feel my nipples harden, its almost pain but I love it.

“Jesus…Buffy.” My back arches outta pure instinct and she just sucks harder—oh shit— bites a little, teeth pinching my flesh. She brings her hands up, takin’ hold of my breasts and teasing me with touches that are barely there. The contrast of her mouth, her touch, it's got me spinning.

She pulls her mouth off my neck, eyes locked on what she’s doin’ to me. Fuck, her eyes… she looks feral. The spot where marked me throbs, my whole body throbs…

“You’re so beautiful.” She tells me, a single finger tracing around my right nipple. God that feels so good and when she says it, I almost believe it.

“Unhh… fuck, B…quit teasin’…” I try and arch a bit more, get her to add just a little more pressure. I’m nearly frantic for it. And she must see the desperation on my face; feel the need coming off me because her hands make a quick slide under my top, straight to where I’m aching for her. Her fingers close around points that feel so, so hard. She pinches gently, strokes a little harder and oh fuck—fuck! That’s so-- She’s kissin’ me again and I’m gettin’ so wet. My hips jerk seekin’ the contact where she’s pressed against me, letting her know, letting her feel it. “God… Buffy, oh god…” I swear she makes me believe. She pinches harder, rolls my nipples between my fingers—shit-- laps at my ear between whispers.

“That good baby? Like this?”

She really doesn’t have to ask. She knows.

“Y-yeah. Just like that…” I tell her anyways and she sucks my neck again, presses herself harder between my spread thighs. Fuck, I’m gonna die.

“I can feel you…” She tells me. “Love how you feel” And her voice is like hot, thick liquid sliding all over me, and she grinds a little, just a slow, so insistent push, but it makes all my muscles tense, a quick hard rush up to the edge, it surges through me and it’s so jarring it makes me gasp in almost as much surprise as pleasure and…and -- Oh god oh--oh fuck!

“B?!” It’s urgent, it’s all I can say, my hands clench around her shirt holding on, tryin’ to hold back—

God there’s no way! But she holds still. So very still ‘cause she knows. She knows how easy it is for me, when I’m with her. She lets me gasp against her quiet mouth, thumbs brushing my nipples in time, she’s slowing me down. Waitin’ for me to pull back, not so close to that point that has me trembling.

“Oh fuck Buffy…” I can hardly breathe.

“Not yet baby.” A sweet whisper and a knowin’ smile, but full of need and my voice is a dark agreement.

“Yeah… slow.”

It’s easier said, ‘cause god she almost took me there and my pussy is still throbbing and I really wanna get her outta that shirt, get her outta everything… see everything, touch… My hands sneak their way around to her front, fingers brushing over her stomach. And it’s all warm damp skin. I feel her muscles jumpin’ beneath by fingertips, I let my palms trace up slow, just the outsides of her breasts…

“Oh yes… yes Faith.” Love how she breathes my name against my lips, how she’s got one of my legs in her hand, lifting it up to wrap around her waist so she can grind RIGHT against me, oh Jesus, how she’s kneading my breasts even harder. I cover her tits and feel her nipples burning against my palms. Her groan is surprised.

I wanna hear it again.

What I hear instead is something distant… something muffled “Buffy? Faith?”

That didn’t sound quite right, but I kiss her harder anyway. I push my tongue against the slick warmth of her mouth, all the places I can reach and I just wanna go deeper, drown out whatever noise that’s trying to bust through in the periphery, break into our world.

My fingers wrap around her straining nipples and play, teasing, stroking all in time with this kiss that feels so obsessive… fuck nothing else even exists right now.

“Oh god…ugh!” Now that’s the sound I wanted to hear, all breath and need. Christ she needs me! I still can’t get over it…I feel her wiggle a hand between us, between my legs… oh my god. Now it’s my turn to moan to pant light-headed into the kiss, and now in time with the way she’s slowly rubbing my pussy through my jeans…

“Buffy…Buffy…” it’s so incredible.

“Buffy?”

Shit what IS that?! I got a good idea, but I refuse to believe it's true. B doesn’t seem to notice…“God, Fai I gotta feel you…”

Yeah, she’s too preoccupied with getting my pants open, slippin’ her hand inside… fuck, stroking her fingers through my slit, taking her time.

“Baby you’re so wet…” It’s an amazed whisper, her fingers gliding so slowly, so firmly over my clit and I’m watching her. Watchin’ her face as she stares in awe at her hand moving over me, that flush spreading over her skin… it’s so damn beautiful. My hips jerk tryin’ to keep her pace, tryin’ to let her lead this, not to give in to the urge that’s thundering through me, demanding me to take what I want, what I need and have her on my terms. “God I love you…” she whispers it, still watching her fingers slip through me, watching my hips rock in slow time. The length of a finger drags hard over my clit. And I think she knows, she senses what this means for me, to give her more than just my body but my heart, my trust and control.

“Mmf…fuck B, love you too.” More than I can possibly say right now ‘cause fuck, I can’t take it… I need her eyes. I pull her face up, catch that dark ocean green a second before our mouths crash back together. My hand slips back down to her ass, squeezing, pulling her impossibly closer. She hisses my name when I pinch her nipple again, a little harder, little rougher. God I love this… love her.

“Want ya so much.” Her eyes seem to flash at my words, glimmering fever-bright…she looks so damn wild!

“Yeah? You want me baby? You want this?” That voice was dark, shaky, barely restrained I can’t believe how turned on she is… how much hotter it's getting me, and her fingers are moving lower, through all the slippery heat that’s pouring outta me, swirls just a fingertip around my entrance…so close and god I’m already clenching… Fuck I need her inside me so bad.

“Faith! Buffy!?” Fuck not now… I need this! But I think B must have finally heard, because her hand is slowin’ down even more. My clit jumps against her palm, protesting the loss. Oh god I’m dying here!

I feel the deep breath that shudders from her lungs. “Fuck” she mumbles and that wonderful hand quits movin’ all together.

“Not quite.” I groan, meet her burning eyes with my own, let my hands trip over her nipples again, reluctant to let go. Man I love how she nibbles her bottom lip, how her lashes flutter a bit… she’s so pretty. “Ya know…” I whisper it, lips teasing her earlobe “There are just too many people in this house… I’m takin’ you on vacation when this is all through.” I really can’t have this becoming a habit, my sanity is fragile enough as it is.

“I’m sorry baby.” She sighs but she looks more pissed than sorry at the moment, gives the door a good death stare. We can both hear the footsteps now, getting closer and closer to our little world.

“Not your fault B…” I catch her eyes again. “Hey, love you…kay?”

And that sinister expression disappears like a blink, replaced by the gorgeous light of her smile. She kisses me again, and slides her hand outta my pants, has them all zipped and buttoned just as we hear the basement door creak open.

She’s good. Too good damnit, I don’t wanna let go of her mouth.

“Buffy!? FAITH?!”

But our lips come apart at the shrill noise coming from the top of the stairs. I try to resign myself to my fate, that I can’t have her all to myself… every second of every day, that I can’t touch her, kiss her where I want to right now, that I can’t shut the world out forever.

“Riley just called he said he found the crystal things and… Oh god they’re having sex AGAIN?!”

“What!?” And now Xander’s trying to squeeze through the doorway too.

Shit, just keeps getting better. I sigh, slip my hands outta B’s top, and just let my arms rest on her shoulders as I try to get a grip.

It ain’t easy.

Not with all the tension that I can still feel in her body, with that thick heady scent of skin and sex hanging in the air, with how B’s lips are resting like a feather against that spot where she marked me… reminding me how good it all felt.

Yeah, definitely not easy.

“Anya, we are not having sex!” Buffy shouts but its pretty much muffled against my shoulder. She’s hugging me tight, not looking at them yet. I’m guessing she needs a sec to calm down too.

“Not yet.” Whispered just for her, and she pinches me!

“Anya honey, lets just give them some privacy…” Xander starts ushering his girl back up the stairs. Strangely, he’s takin’ his sweet time leaving. “OW! An, I thought we agreed you’d switch to the other arm!” Anya’s not stupid. She smacked him a good one that time.

Ugh, enough already.

“Oh for fuck sake chill Xand, no free show alright. There’s nothin’ to see anyways.” I sigh. I feel B give me a discrete kiss on the shoulder her face was hidden in before she steps away.

There’s the pout. I’m sure mine is matching. Damn her eyes look so dark…

“Nice hickey ya got there, Faith.” Xander smirks and gets the glare from all three of us. I see the muscles in B’s arms tense, the one in her jaw jump and I know she’s grinding her teeth.

“Look Xander—”

“So what were you saying before Anya?” I hop off the bench, covering how weak in the knees I feel with a slow stretch, Xan will never know how close he just came to death…

Yup, I’m a real hero. A suffering hero, damn I’m surprised I can even walk!

“Oh !” Anya remembers her purpose at last “Riley called. He said he was able to find the two crystals.”

“This is good, time for action.” I say. Finally, best to settle for slayage variety if it’s all I can get. I glance over at B, and damn, she’s still lookin’ all sexy and flushed, even more now that she’s not just horny but a little pissed too…

“Yes! And Giles said that once you two finish having sex we can get ready to meet him for patrol.”

“We weren’t—”

“Sounds like a good plan. Hopefully we’ll be able to take out more of those pesky Toraks, huh B?”

“Right. Then maybe I can get that other type of ‘action’, right F?” She smirks and smacks me on the ASS! “I’m gonna grab a shower!” She hollers over her shoulder and makes her way quickly up the stairs, leaving two of us staring after her with our mouths hangin’ open, and Anya nodding in approval.

“Yes! I like the way Buffy thinks. She understands me!”

Damn right demon girl and she understands me too. Read my fuckin’ mind even…I’m definitely liking this side of B!

*****

A while later they had all situated themselves about the living room, waiting for the arrival of the final member of the hunting party. Casual conversation wasn’t forced, but not exactly easy in its flow. Things weren’t perfect after all and Faith had no illusions.

But there was still the feeling of progress. And she was learning patience. It was almost easy to endure all the cautious glances from Giles and Xander and Anya, especially when mixed with happy ones from Tara, the ones so full of love from B.

What Faith couldn’t figure was the eyes of the other witch. The one that had haunted her, afflicted and violated her dreams. There was still a lot of distrust there. On both their parts. Still too much hurt to ever hope to fix so quickly. But the blind hate was gone; all that icy venom seemed to have melted.

Maybe it had something to do with the way everyone was also looking at Willow the same way they looked Faith. Wary, and even a little suspicious. Red’s binge last night hadn’t been pretty.

It had been pretty fuckin’ scary. And the rest of the scoobs didn’t even know the half of it.

And now Red and Tara were speaking so softly to each other, the way their eyes would hold it looked like words weren’t even necessary. Perhaps it was how Faith could almost feel the strength, the courage being interchanged.

It gave her an intense and sudden hope, for Willow, and for all of them. It made her take in a quick breath, squeeze Buffy’s hand the second before the witch turned from Tara to face the group.

“Umm guys?” Willow spoke softly to everyone, held Faith’s eyes for a moment as she stood.

The conversation had been primarily focused on the finest films of the 80’s. Buffy had been holding firm to all those ‘Breakfast Club’ type movies, while Faith had been attempting to explain sociopolitical importance behind The Wall… She was getting a lot of blank stares, but it was Pink Floyd for fucks sake! But all that had come to a halt, the mood taking an instant turn to the somber.

“What’s up Wills?” Buffy spoke, and it was obvious to Faith that she was feeling some of the hope too, but more of the fear.

“Not to get everyone all with the solemn, but I just wanted to say something… to all of you.” The girl that was so powerful, capable of things she couldn’t even quite perceive, looked frail at that moment.

“Go on Red.” And Faith knew, she knew what this moment was like, what it could so easily become. Her own was just a few nights ago after all. And despite all the bad blood, all the pain between them she didn’t want the script to be the same. “It’s no pressure yeah?”

Willow’s eyes looked grateful, and Faith was glad that she understood. She wouldn’t forget their agreement. As long as Willow did her part.

“I wanted to apologize, to everyone.”

“For your cracked-out of your mind act last night?” Xander speaks, and it's cold, so cold from the boy so usually full of the good times and jokes.

“Right, that.” Willow forgave him with a smile. It was clear that anger was born out of fear, out of concern. “I’ve been in a really stressful place lately.” The words floated on a sigh. “We all have, and not just with this bad guy. It’s way more. I guess… w-what I’m trying to say is that things are changing….” Willow’s eyes landed on Faith again, they looked sad. “A lot. And it's all been happening so fast and I guess the umm… the magic? It helps me deal.”

“Will you gotta know—” He starts but Willow held up her hand, cut him off.

“Yeah I do know Xander, I’ve known this whole time… but it was easier than all the real. I just wanted to let everyone know I’m done with it. All the hard stuff, the dark stuff? It sends me to a place that I hate, that makes me do things, awful hurtful things. And I’m sorry.”

The silence was oppressively thick for about five seconds. Until Buffy rose from her spot on the sofa and wrapped her best friend in a hug. Xander quickly followed suit.

“We’re here to help you through this Wills, whatever you need, ok?” Buffy’s muffled words came from the midst of the embrace.

“You bet. Anything, anytime.” And Xander echoed the sentiment.

“This is all very touching…” Anya sniffed at the site, eyes teary. “Better than a movie of the week!”

Faith for her part remained silent. Glad to see this start, seeing this first step she knew all too well. But she remained skeptical. Some things you just have to see to believe, and the truth of this moment could only be revealed through time.

Time, however it proved, was not something the group had much of. Before further things could be said, more amends extended, the front door opened, and the sharp hot beams of a setting sun followed a soldier over the threshold.

PART 23

They were packing things up. Weapons of sharp swords and combusting guns. No one spoke, because there was nothing more to say, only work to be done now. When Riley had first arrived the disposition had shifted, morphed and churned into something far more grave.

The undercurrent of determination was nearly palpable.

He had shown them all the beautiful elements that would prove to be their salvation; that would defeat this latest threat to their world. It was agreed that Giles would keep the crystals. The full moon was still several nights away after all, and this patrol was a hunting expedition.

After the pretty rocks had been thoroughly admired Buffy it seemed, had been infused by a new resolve. Faith had felt it too. It was a serious and sure knowledge that it was time to fight… it was time to win. She felt it in her bones and beyond, to the very core of her being. Faith’s eyes couldn’t look at anything else as B stood and began to pace.

She wore the role of the leader like a second skin, the way she commanded attention, accord, it was clear the Slayer was in charge.

“We’ve got four nights now guys.” Buffy had spoken to the tight bundle vigilantes. “Four nights until the final show, until the Ancient wakes, and we’ve got a totally unknown amount of Toraks protecting her.”

“According to all that we’ve researched the Ancient once held authority over an army of these primitive vampires.” Giles glasses had come off; he was rubbing his brow, it was a move Faith recognized from back in the day. It showed his uncertainty, his inability to reconcile all that he knew with what stood before him. A small, fragile looking girl, with the weight of so many lives on her shoulders.

But Faith couldn’t share that sentiment. Because she knew the power, the strength that rushed hard and relentless just below the surface… she felt it. And it didn’t only live in Buffy anymore. It was the chosen TWO now, and it was time she took her place in that title.

“Right, but it was thought that most of these things had died off right? Over the ages?” Faith made her way over to Buffy as she spoke. Stood by her side, every bit as much the Slayer as Buffy was. “So far we’ve only come across few of these things and there can’t be a whole ‘army’ hiding out in that cave right?”

“Those caves can go for miles under ground, Faith.” Riley had spoken in that tone of casual confidence; that ever present grin so very certain. It put Faith’s teeth on edge because it felt like a lie.

“Right, but Tara, help me out here?” Faith spoke to the witch but kept her eyes trained on the soldier, onyx black and harder than any stone, the contempt was evident.

Riley leaned back on the sofa, crossed his arms over his chest.

“I think Faith may h-have a point. The reason why no one’s ever seen one of these Toraks until now is because there just aren’t that many of them. I-I mean last night, at the cave I sensed lots, but not an army.”

Tara smiled at Faith, Faith grinned at Riley, and this time it was satisfaction in her eyes. The former spy didn’t blink, at least not at first. It wasn’t until B spoke that his expression faltered.

“I think Faith’s right.” Yeah those words shut that smile down quick. Faith had to try hard to keep hers from growing… too much. But Buffy took her hand then and Faith couldn’t help but turn her eyes away from the man in the corner… to look at her love. “I don’t think there are more of these bastards than we all can handle. So I say, in the last nights we have left we try and dust as many as we fuckin’ can!”

“Hell yeah!” She couldn’t hold back her grin now, despite the gravity of the prospect. B sounded like she was up for kicking major ass! The slightly surprised expression of the scoobs, at B’s liberal use of expletives was quite the trip too.

Farm boy didn’t look pleased in the least! It was so fuckin’ great!

“So we load up on weapons, you guys Xander and Riley can do the dusting and Tara can go to help with any magic that might be useful.” Willow suggested the line up, tentatively. “And I can stay here, help Giles with the research and— ”

“Ya know Red, why don’t you come along too. If we need the major mo-jo, I’m guessing you’d be the go to girl.” Faith put on her most encouraging face. She didn’t want Willow to hide from herself, she wanted the witch to face it, to own it, to do it right. “No offence T.”

“None taken.” Faith was assured by Tara’s smile. But disappointed by the panic that started to wash across Willow's face at the mere prospect.

“That’s a great idea!” Buffy agreed, and Willow’s eyes only got bigger.

“No! No I-I can't I might… I-I mean no more dark stuff remember!? Just had this conversation?”

“We know Red, and that ain’t what we’re asking for.”

“Yeah Wills. All we need is for you to be the all powerful... well, you.” Both Slayers tried for calming, but the frantic head shaking continued.

“I don’t know if I can!! What if I—”

“Honey…” And it only took one word, spoken in that tone that was so much more than soothing with those eyes that told of so much more than reassurance. One word from the right person. From Tara.

The calm that slid over the red-head was visible and Faith stood entranced as the two witches eyes met, a quick, silent moment but a profound exchange. This wasn’t something she was used to. Seeing love and strength so willingly given, trust so eagerly shared. It made her kind of uneasy, a bit unsure if she’d ever be good enough, pure enough to walk in such a light.

And she wondered if her eyes got that bright when she looked at B.

“Ok so…” Willow spoke at last facing the rest of the group once again, her confidence back in place “Tara will stay, and I’ll go… so, we ready to go?”

“Yeah lets gather up the goods. It's only a few ‘till sundown.” Buffy agreed and Faith felt her squeeze her hand, felt those eyes on her again and she couldn’t look anywhere else. And she thought about that all too short time in the basement, about how the sound B’s laugh could fill up her soul, how totally at peace she looked when Faith had finally found the words… “You all right there Faith, you look a little spacey.” She felt another squeeze and this time a playful nudge from the girl that held her captivated. Was she all right? Her stomach was in knots her heart was thumping against her ribs, they were about to throw down something major and then after she was probably gonna get some REAL action later on!

Hell yeah she was all right!

“I’m fuckin’ perfect!”

“Bet your ass you are.” And she felt better than perfect from how Buffy was grinning at her.

“You’d bet my ass B?!” It only took half a second for her eyes to droop a little, to take on that smoky ‘come and get it’ look. It was so easy when she was looking at the other slayer.

So easy when B was leaning just a little closer.

“Well, maybe if—”

“Guys! Hold the PDA, for the sake of Giles’ British composure at least?” Xander cut in, detouring what was sure to be some inappropriate groping if Faith had anything say about it. But G-man was looking awful red.

“Umm err... quite right. Perhaps you all should prepare to ahh… depart for the evening. I think starting early would—”

“Can I speak with you a minute first? Please?” Faith turned her attention from her former watcher as the soldier oh so politely interrupted him. And that wonderful happy-buzz she felt evaporated. She hated the way he let his gaze slip over her, so dismissive, and then cling to Buffy’s form like a leach. Just looking at him made something in her tense, made that dark thread that was so eager, shout… demand to be heard.

She let go of Buffy’s hand, took a few steps across the room. Steel-toed boots made menacing thumps on the hardwood.

Faith loved that sound. More, she loved that everyone knew what it meant.

“Somethin’ ‘bout the patrol soldier boy?”

“No, actually. It's not.” Riley stood, crossed his arms across his massive chest, never losing that patronizing expression. Faith wanted to slap him, hard, maybe into another time zone.

Her pace had progressed, setting her inches from the boy with the casual smile that was so infuriating, but her hand didn’t even have a moment to clench.

“Well then I don’t see—”

She felt a soothing touch, warm circles on the small of her back, that gentle current sweeping all thoughts aggression so far away.

“Faith....” And now, a look from HER girl. It came in the form of an eye roll. “It's ok… ok?”

B smiled, gave her another little nudge with her shoulder, and Faith had to grin a little at herself, at her own impulses. Christ could she ever doubt what they had?

“Yeah, it’s cool B.” She leaned in, placed a quick kiss on Buffy’s cheek. More to see that dark shadow pass over Riley’s eyes than for her own reassurance. Because now she had no doubts about Buffy’s feelings… it was Riley she didn’t trust.

“Back in a sec.”

And Faith watched her girlfriend go. Watched as she was followed by her former lover. She watched and she ignored that nagging voice in the back of her mind. The one telling her that something was off. Something that tickled and shifted in the fringes of her mind, that place driven by instinct.

She ignored it. Made herself ignore it, and turned instead to the weapons chest. She was in the mood for the biggest fuckin’ sword they had.

*****

Buffy was glowing. All bright eyes and flushed rose skin. Even with the prospect of a coming battle. With violence and possible death just minutes and a short walk away, Buffy was still shining like nothing he had never seen.

The sight enchanted him… but then he remembered the cause. He thought of that stark, deep red bruise that Faith was wearing like a fucking medal. He knew who put it there.

Riley tasted bile, far back in his throat.

The thought of his Buffy, behaving in such a way. Like a wanton, corrupted whore. Like that bitch she was fucking. And fucking is all it had to be, right? Buffy couldn’t possibly fall in love with something like Faith. Something so different from himself.

When they were together Buffy had never left a mark on him, never behaved so crudely like some filthy slut. She was so proper and reserved. Restrained.

His girl.

Riley let their past times together slip through his mind, a caressing mist of reminiscence. Everything that he wanted. Not this twisted perversion Buffy had somehow fallen into.

What was up with this whole dyke thing anyways! Faith had not only stolen what was his, she had managed to change her! The bitch’s influence was so strong that it had taken only a few days!!

It’s not like anything like this could have existed in his Buffy before. No, Faith was just that dangerous. To Riley, the quickness with which all this had happened was just further proof that what he had planned was so very right.

And he would make his Buffy right again. But first he had to be absolutely sure.

“So what did you want to talk to me about?” Buffy spun to face him, all bouncy and joyful. Had she ever smiled this much?

It wasn’t real, it couldn’t be.

“I just, I wanted to make sure you were doing ok? Ya know, with everything going on. The prophecy, Willow and the magic … us taking a break. We haven’t really had a chance to talk after… ya know.”

He couldn’t bring himself to say it. Even mention that conversation… over the god-damned phone! Just the thought brought that ripping sensation back to his chest. How could she have done that to him? She LIED to him! And for so long, she knew he wanted forever he would always talk about the plans he had for them… and she’d never said a word. Never lead him to believe that she wanted anything other than the same…

Bitch.

“I’m fine, really…” Buffy took a step forward, pretty hazel eyes nothing but concern. She placed a delicate hand on his forearm. The sudden heat was a firecracker beneath his skin. “But Riley, are YOU ok…”

Riley grinned. No, but he would be.

“I mean, you know it’s not just ‘a break’ with us right?” She said it so kindly, big eyes all warm and gentle… he couldn’t help but think how frail her neck looked at that moment, how just one of his hands could—

Soon.

“I know Buffy, and I’m fine with that. I just want you to be happy, whatever that means.” It was well practiced, and he would have been able to convince himself had she not looked so eager...

“Really?!” Looked so fucking happy…

Why did her eyes keep cutting to the doorway?

This couldn’t be real… he would show her what happy really meant.

“You bet! So ah… you and Faith then?” That blush was revolting… did he ever make her blush like that? Had there ever been a thought about him, that when fleetingly passed through her mind, made her skin flush, her eyes brighten? Made that bubbling effervescence that was such an inherent part of her break free in such a stunning display.

The sight made him sick. Fucking slut.

“Yeah, Riley… I-I just.” The smile was splitting her face, splitting his heart. “I’ve never felt this way. Back when she first came to Sunnydale I tried so damn hard to fight it, to deny it ya know? But she’s just… she’s like this force, this wicked energy. And she fills me with it! She just makes me FEEL Riley, and… and it's love, sh-she loves me… and it's just so—when she kisses me I just—”

No more. Never, ever again.

“Ok, ok Buff, I get it, no need for the details.” Riley gave his best smile and was a bit surprised at the contrast between his thoughts and his outward appearance. But he couldn’t stand to hear any more he had his answers.

‘Wicked energy’? Christ Buffy was even starting to sound like Faith, so foul and repulsive. It was a good thing the Council wanted to act so quickly. No telling what could happen to his girl if they were to wait much longer.

And love? Please. Faith didn’t know love, and apparently neither did Buffy. Hadn’t he shown her? After all this time she still couldn’t see how much he adored her, after all he’d given; all he’d sacrificed!

He’d have to try harder. He’d have to love her harder.

“So you’re ok with this? Really?” He couldn’t believe she had the audacity to even ask, to wear those pouty lips for anybody but him. Yeah, Riley had all the proof he needed.

“Absolutely.”

It was time to fix this.

*****

This wasn’t right.

The words pounded through the dark slayer’s mind in time with her heavy footsteps. This wasn’t a good night for hunting. It was as if the air itself had sensed her tension, her unease. It had thickened; laid itself low and heavy amongst the tombstones. It had shrouded that feeling of surety, of confidence she’d felt as they all had left the house.

But it was more than just the air it was a restless presence that stirred and reached to the marrow, made her skin jump, her muscles burn in anticipation of more than just a fight.

And it didn’t make sense!! It had crept up on her slow, the nearer they got to the cemetery the more her anxiety would increase, and she couldn’t understand the cause. It made her briefly consider her sanity… only briefly. Faith knew the mystery of evil was too deep to be illuminated by the light of reason. This feeling had nothing to do with the rational… it was instinct, and her gut was sensing something foul.

Faith gripped the cool steel of her hand axe, the ridges pressing into her palm was a comfort. She had opted for the more practical after her girl had returned from her little chat with the Marine.

Buffy had taken one look at the insanely excessive, ornate Samurai she’d been waving around and gave her the patented eyebrow. Faith had to admit the sword had been a bit much, besides this axe would dust ‘em just was well. But Faith felt like she needed the security, the extra protection, even if it was only psychological.

They had all approached the gates in silence, Shady Pines looking every bit as eerie as it usually did.

Riley had seemed extra eager to get to the action. He was walking quickly, even slightly ahead of Buffy and herself. It was a demeanor that had Faith instantly cautious. No one else seemed to notice however, so she figured she was probably being paranoid, that it was all part of that greater sense of foreboding.

Splitting up had been a good idea at least. They could cover more ground this way. And so what if it had been the Farm boy’s idea and not her own? Whatever gets the job done.

“I definitely think we should have a Slayer in each group.” He had said, leaning against somebody’s grave. With that big gun thrown over his shoulder, he was the picture casual brutality. But no one could disagree.

“Right, and a flame thrower too.” B had picked up and everyone nodded again.

“So Xander can go with Willow and Faith and—” Riley had started again and Faith could already see where this was headed. Army boy wanted some more one on one time with her girl. Faith wasn’t about to have that. Not with the way he was looking at her… not with this feeling she had burning in her gut.

It was a bad night for all of this.

“Ya know… why don’t both Xander and Riley come with me? Red’s got her own brand of fire power if you guys need it, right?” She had locked her eyes with B, prayed for some of that silent communication stuff. Worked for the witches…

Buffy just tilted her head and frowned at her. Shit.

“Fai… I don’t think Willow can, ya know...” And B had made a little gesture, not sure if her thoughts should be spoken, but the witch had reassured them all with that quirky grin.

“No, it's Ok Buff! I can handle a little flamey goodness without getting all black eyed girl.”

And that had decided it. Faith had expected Riley to be a bit more upset, to lodge some type of protest, but none came.

Just that cold hard set of his jaw.

Faith had watched as Buffy and Willow turned, making their way to the north half of the cemetery. It was agreed they would meet later at the cave, and already Faith couldn’t wait until that moment. A conclusion to this hunt, to this patrol. She just wanted this night to be over; wanted to crawl into B’s arms and find that haven that was just the two of them… shut the world out again if just for a while.

Buffy had thrown a wink at her over her shoulder, and it had alleviated that hard bubble of doom that rested in her chest. Faith turned with a smile and led the way for her group. She felt better about this arrangement at least. As long as B was nowhere near the man that was currently marching along beside her.

Maybe the night wouldn’t be too bad after all.

But then Riley opened his fucking mouth.

“So Faith, how’s life on the outside?” He kept his stare straight ahead his expression void of the rancor that was so evident in his tone, and Faith couldn’t believe her ears.

She stopped dead in her tracks.

“What did you just say to me?!”

“Guys! Can we not do this? Please?” Xander moved quickly. Jumping between the two of them. “We have a job to do here. Can you both just leave it for now?”

“I was just making conversation…” It was false innocence in his smirk.

“Not another word farm-boy.” Faith had hissed through gritted teeth, a tone that she hadn’t allowed herself in years. Riley’s ever-present grin had faltered, and an instant of apprehension flickered in his eyes and to Faith, it felt good… so good that it worried her. But not enough to keep her from clenching her fist, from taking a threatening step closer, letting that dark warmth flow through her veins, letting it speed her heart rate.

Yeah, it felt damn good. A sneer spread over her mouth, a deep red promise of violence, of pain.

She loved how Riley took a step back. She wanted to break him. Who the hell did he think he was anyways to judge her, to look at her with those disdainful eyes? Faith had seen all the looks, the sidelong glances at her and B and yeah, maybe he had a right to be pissed, but Buffy had made her decision and he would have to live with that…

“Oh you feeling some of those murderous impulses now, Faith?” he sounded entirely too sure of himself… maybe he DIDN’T have to live with it.

Another menacing step brought her closer; she felt her hand spasm around her axe.

“Actually, now that ya mention it—”

“Faith! Both of you, no more got it?!” And Xander had been more assertive than Faith thought possible. Bold enough to step in front of her, to place a hand on her shoulder; catch her stone cold eyes with his pleading ones. It made her pause, take a calming breath that did nothing to quiet her rage. She turned from them both and continued on.

After that they had fallen into a rigid silence. They fought a few newbie vamps, none taking more than a few minutes to dust. Faith was seething the entire time, the quick hard fights doing nothing to dispel her anger, only causing it to fester.

She couldn’t believe the soldier’s nerve, but more, she couldn’t believe her own reaction to it, how she had been so quick to embrace that dark slide that wanted to carry her away. These thoughts were still plaguing her as they passed a series of hulking mausoleums.

The thick fog was broken by a low growl. Faith froze.

“You hear that?” Xander whispered and had raised his gun towards the menacing noise, which was unfortunate since the attack came from the opposite direction.

It was a sudden flurry of chaos, a creature bursting from the shadows faster than any of them could perceive. Faith spun around just in time to see the Torak slam into Xander.

“No!!” She shouted even though she knew it was too late, but her feet had wings, and she was flying, leaping through the murky air to deliver a powerful strike to the dead thing’s head. It hit the ground the same time Xander did.

“We got two more!” She heard Riley shout on the fringe of her senses as her fist connected over and over, the thing’s face exploding in a ghastly mess. Faith brought her axe down and for a moment the only sound was the beautiful crackle of a combusting soulless life.

Faith wanted to relish in her victory, in the ecstasy that rushed through her, but she knew there was no time.

“Xander!” she ran over to the fallen boy. There was a large lump forming at his temple, thankfully that seemed to be the extent of the damage. But he was still out cold.

“Slayer! A little help here!?” Riley hollered attempting to fight off two of those awful things. He was backing up, couldn’t get any kind of room to fire off a shot.

Faith let her axe fly, a precision strike that landed square in one of the creature’s chest. It gave the soldier just enough time light both of them up in a hot orange radiance of flames and ash and screams.

Faith stood as the dust settled.

“How bad is it?” Riley asked and Xander groaned as if to answer.

“He’ll be alright, we need to get him outta here though, find B and Red. We should be pretty close to the cave by now.”

“Right, we can carry him, grab his arms.” He said making a move towards Xander’s feet. And Faith knelt down again, just slowly stroked the dark curls from the fallen boy’s brow… his skin was a little damp. She heard the thump, the rattle of a gun hitting the ground, whisper soft brush of heavy boots on grass, and the wind, sudden and cool, no… chilling. The layered reverberation of thunder made the ground quiver, and something in Faith’s chest clenched tight in resistance; that feeling again, a white-hot rush, intense pulse of adrenaline sharp and piercing and her muscles burned with it, her breath held, frozen in her lungs and something was WRONG!

She felt the stab, an instant before she could turn. It was hot focused pain in the back of her shoulder.

“What the fuck!” She stood, faced that smile that was so much more than victorious. Electric blue vines lit the sky for an instant, the crash chasing a heartbeat behind, and Faith knew what evil was.

Something inside of her started to sink.

She threw the punch anyway, a backhand that connected with his jaw, it should have sent him airborne! Riley only turned his head, didn’t even take a step back. He was smiling through his split lip as his eyes made a slow trip over her body.

“That the best you can do?”

And Faith experienced the wash almost immediately, like something sick crawling inside her, it was spreading; melting away her strength, her power; everything she knew was the Slayer being swept away.

Weak and dizzy, she staggered towards him.

“What the fuck did you do to me!”

Her voice broke, and this time, Riley held his ground.

“What should have been done a while ago, putting down the rabid bitch.” He chuckled, titled his head as he watched her sway, like a twisted child pulling the wings from a fly.

Without conscience, without empathy; incurably sociopathic.

Panic began to sweep over Faith as his words began to sink in, as she met those dead-crazy eyes… as more of her strength began to seep from her being. And it HURT… it burned through every inch of her, like getting shot slowly… all the shock, the power of the impact; the singe and explosion of the violation, stretched out over an eternity.

She tried to reach up; pull the wretched needle from her shoulder, but her arm felt numb, she could see her hands shaking. She felt sick, dizzy; her legs were collapsing…

“How ya feeling there killer?” He grinned as she fell to her knees.

The wet grass was cold.

“You son of a bitch!” It hissed from her lips, as the ripping pain seemed to double with each passing second, her hands clenched in the soggy earth, she tried to breathe through, focus on any thing but the pain… but God it hurt so bad, she was being torn apart.

“Aww, now that’s not very nice!” He was grinning as his fist connected hard and suddenly with her face, and Faith’s world swam. “You think you can just come back here?” He hit her again, snapping her head back. It hurt so much more than it should. “Take what’s mine, TOUCH what was mine?! Ruin everything I had planned!!?” A swift kick to her ribs and Faith was laid out on her back, staring up into his manic eyes. She could taste blood in her throat, feel it rolling down the side of her face. “You lose bitch.” And his foot had risen once more, poised to deliver yet another blow to her frail body when they both heard the growl… a haunting rumble that resonated the desperate strings of terror in Faith’s soul. And barely a second to process before it was followed by the vile, wet bursting sound of flesh being ruptured.

Faith’s vision was going hazy but she could still clearly see the gnarled claws that now projected from the army man’s chest, could still see the deep red that poured from the gaping wound like a fountain exploding.

This couldn’t be happening…

Thick splashes rained down on her face like hell’s christening and the air roared with distant thunder again.

She managed to roll out of the way as his body began to fall. She got to her knees; began to crawl… her arms felt like they were boiling… god what had he done to her! What had happened to the fuckin’ gun? Where the hell was B!? She couldn’t die here. Not like this, not without seeing her again.

Riley was screamin’ and it sounded miles away, her hand closed around the gun at last, she needed both to lift it, all her strength and she could hardly keep it steady. The things mouth was dripping red, eyes a flaming yellow. It lunged; Faith pulled the trigger and a billowing riot of heat and ash burst around her.

The settling dust burned her already straining lungs. Everything was starting to spin.

“Oh god! Oh god! Somebody!!” Riley’s voice was breaking over the words; he sounded like he was choking, drowning. Faith crawled unsteadily to where his prone body lay. What she saw was almost enough to have her giving in to swimming pain in her head.

His chest was almost completely busted open. Gouges so deep that Faith couldn’t ever imagine them being closed, were glistening and nebulous in the scarce light, the thick pool seeped, slow-overflowing from his body…

He was breathing hard, sweating, crying.

“Fuck, Riley…oh my god…” Looking at the morbid spectacle, feeling her energy fading fast, she had never felt more helpless.

Too much blood! A sticky hand grabbed her arm, she flashed back to her dream the night before, the sadness in Buffy’s eyes… to a filthy alley and a man she didn’t know with eyes that were so afraid.

“Not again, no fuckin way…please!”

To a shitty apartment where a woman gasped for breath and with desperate eyes begged forgiveness from a nine year old.

“No, no more!!” She tried to jerk away, but she was weaker than a dying boy.

Those were Riley’s eyes now. No longer filled with rage, just fear and knowing. Faith started to shake. The blood was on her hands… all over her hands.

“Help… help me Faith…please, ple—” His plea was broken by violent hacking coughs.

“I-I can’t… I don’t know!” Tears flooded her eyes along with a swelling black void. She tried so hard to fight both; she was failing.

“Please…” blood gurgled up from his lips, spilled across his ashen cheeks. Oh god he was gonna die, and there was nothing Faith could do to stop it.

She wanted to hate him for what he’d done, for this deafening roar that was filling her head and how he’d brought this on himself. But she couldn’t, because now, laid out in her arms, the man she’d detested was nothing more than his own frail mortality.

“I’m sorry I… Riley I’m—”

“Faith?!” And she hadn’t even heard them coming, hadn’t felt that wonderful sensation that always preceded B’s presence. Her entire body swayed as she tried to turn, she couldn’t tell where they were coming from….

Were they even here at all?!

Her mind was a blur, a haze of the injection and the shock and the pain. Markers of the dead were floating, zooming in and out of her perception like some LSD inspired hallucination.

“Buffy… I-I—”

“Wha—what the hell happened?!” and Buffy was suddenly beside her.

“Oh my god, Xander?!” And Red was coming too. “Faith what did you do?!”

“I didn’t… it was—I tried and—” She was blank, complete and total. She took in the scene around her, realizing what they must be seeing. Xander knocked out, and she was kneeling over the body of a dead man, covered in his blood.

Willow’s eyes were getting black. B’s were wide, devastated. Faith started shaking.

“What did you do, Faith!?” And that voice…that dark hollow echo from her nightmare.

“Willow, wait! Just wait a sec!” Buffy dropped to her knees in the muddy grass. She had looked unbelieving at Riley’s glassy lifeless eyes, then looked to Faith’s crying ones. “Oh god… Faith what happened, what’s going on?!” Buffy stroked a cautious hand over Faith’s face, wiping at the tears, the blood. Faith could do nothing but collapse into her arms.

“I-I… can’t feel you B. Fuck I-I can’t… So tired.”

“Baby I need you to clam down, what’s wrong with you?” Buffy’s face kept going in and out of focus, she sounded so far away; she sounded so afraid.

“It hurts…” Voice raw, she just wanted to rest.

“Where? Did the Toraks?” B’s hands were moving gently all over her looking for the source of the pain “Jesus Faith? Talk to me please!”

“In my back…”

“What!?” And she felt the sting, the syringe being pulled from her flesh “Oh god… oh my god!! What the hell is this?! How—”

“Riley… couldn’t stop... couldn’t help ‘em B.” Faith let her eyes slip closed… it was too hard keeping them open… “mm tired…”

“No! Faith! Baby, open your eyes!” And Faith wanted to, she really did…“Please just look at me…”

And she wanted to quiet that burgeoning thread of panic that rang so clearly in her voice… she wanted to hear B laugh again.

“Don’t cry…so sorry” Faith whispered, and wanted so bad to wipe the moisture that was pouring down Buffy’s face, but she couldn’t lift her arms anymore... it all felt so numb.

“B…my arms, they’re gone…” She couldn’t make sense of it, she could still feel the blood on her hands, sticky as it cooled in the night air, but the dark cloud that her mind had become dulled even that terrible sensation.

“Shit…what happened…” More voices fading in now, a groan, it sounded like Xander… was Xander ok? “Oh my god…”

“Buffy, we need to get her out of here. More Toraks could be coming.” Red’s blurry face came into view.

“B… so much blood…won’t come off.” And Faith tried to sit, but the pain was so intense it took the breath from her lungs, made those inky blotches burst from the corners of her sight.

“Baby hold still! Fuck, oh fuck! Wills she’s burning up! What’s wrong with her!? She’s shaking so bad!!” The panicked tremble of Buffy’s voice melded with a distant rumble… a growl.

“Giles will know what to do, but we gotta move… now!”

“What about Riley? Is there any chance…” Somebody asked.

“He-he’s gone…” Came the reply. Oh god not again… another one.

“Baby hold on… we’re… we’re gonna get you help…” Help? No, she was no good at that so many had died at her hand, because of her… this was just another.

“Couldn’t save ‘em B… ‘mm sorry, so fucked up.”

“Shhh don’t think about that! Just—hang on.” Faith could feel herself being lifted. Was she flying? Was this it!? Was she dying!? Please, not yet.

“Buffy… B lisnn ta me.” The world was bouncing a little. Why was B breathing so hard?

“Just hang on baby, stay awake for me ok?” Buffy panted and Faith could just make out those beautiful eyes, poor B thought she was just gonna take a nap. She had to tell her, just once… had to make sure she knew.

“..love you… you know right? B…I—”

It was all she wanted and was thankful she had one last chance to say it. Glad she could see that smile, hear the whispered “I know…”

And her world faded away to darkness but Faith was held by her light.

PART 24

This was certainly interesting. A new twist if you will. He stood over the abandoned body of a so-called soldier and watched as the new speckles of rain dotted the syrupy puddles as it spread over the ground. It would be washed away soon. No one would know of what happened this night.

One less thing that needed to be done. He smirked, at the fortune of nature; it was blend of amusement and disgust.

“Bloody useless.” He chastised, but Riley only stared back in silence. A fly landed on his left cheek and the Councilman sighed, flicked the ever-present cigarette somewhere near the dead boy’s ear and pulled a cell phone from his pocket. “We have a situation.” He paused, rolled his eyes at the clipped outrage that echoed across the wire. “No nothing that severe, our soldier apparently wasn’t up to the task… He did however manage to inject the rogue.”

The rain began to beat a little harder and the Englishman turned from the eviscerated body of his former collaborator. He listened for a few moments, pulled the worn black leather tighter across his gaunt frame.

Heavy steps beat a splashing pace away from the scene, a new strategy already forming; the fallen tool already dismissed.

“Don’t be ridiculous there is still plenty of time. Send a team. We’ll need to make a trip to the Summers' residence for retrieval.” After another few moments he sighed again, snapping the tiny device shut he began making his way through the maze of graves and tombs. “But first, I’m going to need a new puppet.” He stopped at the street, watched the sky streak with light for a hot and luminous second then turned in the direction of downtown. It was time to visit an old fried. “If you want something done right…”

*****

It’s been more than a day… and I’m watching my second sunrise without her. Sitting on this the roof of this ancient tomb, I feel as cold, as lifeless as the stone beneath me. That’s despite the warm orange rays that are bursting over the horizon, spilling a new morning across my city.

It’s another morning without her.

I wonder how long I will be able to go on this way. How long can I last without her… a month maybe two? I look at the destruction around me… watch as the two enormous, dismembered bodies dissolve on the ground below.

They sizzle.

And I’m crying, again. I don’t know if I’ve even stopped! The deep, body wrecking sobs abated a while ago… it's just the tears that are left. They’ve run endless stinging rivers since... since it all happened.

And I still can’t believe it happened; can’t believe how I failed her… how I couldn’t see it! But Faith could…my mind keeps flashing back to last night. How the worry was in her eyes, but she wouldn’t voice it, because she wasn’t sure. She didn’t know if her concerns would be accepted or be met with contempt.

Still so afraid. And I didn’t see it!

I had been so sure, so absolutely certain that everything would be all right. As damn near everything in my life always was. I thought I could make demands of this life… deem who I wanted, dismiss who I didn’t, and all without consequence. I thought that maybe I was even BEYOND consequence.

And they call Faith the reckless one... But she had seen it.

I saw Faith and I as some beautiful destined fairy tale. Sweet kisses, happy endings. I believed it to the very soul of me. Faith had been right to have reservations, to worry; to be afraid of what this all meant. She knew the avoidance; the denial of possibilities can never bring you peace in this life. It would mean you’re always being chased.

Faith had said she was tired of running.

And here I was thinking she was just afraid of ‘love’.

God I’m such a child!

I had rushed through the front door, her still and broken body in my hands, her skin so wrong and pale under all that blood. Everyone had been hovering and I hated having to lay her down, at first on the sofa and then up to my bed when we realized she wasn’t waking up.

“God Giles, why won’t she wake up! What the hell happened to her!!” I was panicked, hysterical… I still might be. Giles had taken the needle that Willow thankfully had the presence of mind to grab as we had rushed from the cemetery.

One look and he knew.

“Dear God…” His tone was hushed, but dripping with rage. That dark Ripper-pitch that always sets my hair on end.

“Giles?” my heart was sinking and I could feel my knees beginning to go weak, I felt cold all over “Damn it Giles, please!”

“It’s the Council.”

I watched as Willow and Anya helped Xander sink down to a chair, she was holding an ice pack to his head… it was dripping on the floor.

“Riley… he-he was—.” I heard Willow make an attempt to articulate what my watcher had just told us… But she couldn’t even say it. “Buffy?”

And I couldn’t say anything at all. Not a fucking word, because the anger, the utter disbelief was choking me. He was working with them, to hurt Faith, and now he’s dead.

God.

“B-Buffy we should get her upstairs…”

I had blinked at Tara’s gentle voice, not understanding the words at first. Nothing made sense; just the unbearable weight of knowing, the rage that was so intense it felt suffocating.

There was this ringing in my ears. The muscles in my arms were jumping. I wanted to hurt something…

But then she groaned, made the tiniest of murmers and it was like I was suddenly awake. Pulled from that coiling dark hollow that was threatening to swallow me whole. And at first, for a single thrilling moment of hope, I thought she had been waking up… but then I had realized, and the grief that had hit me was almost more than I could stand.

And that’s when the tears had started.

I had lifted her, carried her upstairs to clean her up; put her so nicely into our bed where just the pervious night we’d spent in heaven, tangled so completely in the sheets; in each other. Filling so completely until exhaustion forced us to sleep. She looked like she was sleeping now…

I knew different.

But I had stayed with her, held her hand and talked to her… just anything to fill the silence, anything to keep me from losing it completely. Time meant nothing and everything all at once. It was like holding your breath, you stop living as everything moves around you… separate from the chaos, but you NEED to breathe.

It's like I can’t without her.

“Just open your eyes Fai… please baby. I need to see you.” The rain beating the windowpane had been my answer. I knew it was nearly morning even though it was still fairly dark… it seemed fitting that the sun wouldn’t be coming out. “It’s not enough… not enough time.” I was to the point of pleading with her, with anybody who could just make this right… bring her back. And I knew they were all trying. Anya had taken Xander home to rest, but everyone else had remained downstairs… throwing themselves once again into the books, but this time it’s for Faith.

Just the thought makes me smile through the tears. They were doing this for her! Because despite all the history, all the bad stuff between them, they can see that she’s trying and she’s here to help… that it's all changed.

“No…can’t.” Her voice pulls me from my thoughts again, and again, I hope that she might be waking up. It's been happening all night, she’ll murmer something, sometimes my name. I wish I knew what she was dreaming… if she was scared or hurting.

She apologizes a lot.

“I’m here, it's ok Faith.” I stroked the hair away from her forehead, brought the hand I was holding up to my lips and kissed her bruised knuckles… It didn’t seem to comfort her, she was still frowning a little and her skin was damp. She was still running a slight fever.

Did she know I was here? Did she know I was dying right along with her?

“Any change?” Looking away from her just feels wrong, but I do anyway and see my little sister hovering in the doorway. The look in my eyes, the tears that are threatening to spill again must have been answer enough, because she switches right into placating mode. “Buffy, I’m sure this is all gonna be ok. We’re all working really hard. And Giles thinks—”

“Dawn please…” I cut her off. I know she’s trying but I can’t deal with the empty hope, with the platitudes. Not when Faith is lying on this bed, when I could be so close to losing her so soon. Not when I can’t fucking FEEL her anymore!

“No Buffy, that’s why I came up here, Giles found something!” She came further into the room, trying to make that forced smile believing.

“What?”

“He wants to talk to you, downstairs.” She’d said instead of answering me. Maybe there aren’t any answers.

“Can’t he come up here?” I turned my attention back to Faith again. She had made a little whimper sound. I stroked her hair; made sure the blankets were keeping her warm enough. “Shh, it's ok baby…” I hate telling her lies.

“Buffy, you need to get out of this room…” Dawn said at last, after a few moments of watching me. She’s kidding right?

“I’m not leaving her. I-I promised I wouldn’t leave her.” Why couldn’t she see that?! None of this should have happened! I couldn’t take this anymore it was all too much…

“Buffy, Giles thinks he—”

“I don’t give two shits what Giles thinks, I’m NOT letting her down again!”

She’d told me she loved me… she trusted me.

“Buffy if you don’t want to let her down, then go downstairs and find out what you can do to actually HELP her!”

Her words had caught me off guard, they had been so assertive; willing me to believe. But I need to be here, I need to be close to her.

“I need to—”

“No Buffy. This isn’t about what you need! This is about getting Faith well!” She had stared at me, determined, until I had to look away. I turned my eyes back to Faith unwilling acknowledge the truth in Dawn’s words. Still running. “Now, I’ll stay with her ok?” But before I had realized I had even stood; let go of Faith’s hand…she was guiding me by the shoulders, firmly escorting me out the door. “You go be Slayer now.”

And even though I knew Dawn had been right, had I known what was gonna be asked of me, I would have kept my ass parked firmly upstairs. He had closed one of his massive books when I entered the kitchen… the glasses came off too.

This might not be good.

But the look that Will and Tara are giving me, they look so hopeful, and more than a little tired. No one had slept yet.

“Dawn said you guys maybe found something?” My voice sounded cautious, raw from all the crying.

“Yeah Buff we have some really good news!” My best friend comes and takes my hand, leads me to sit at the table with all of them. Her eyes keep cutting to Giles, he doesn’t look nearly as chipper. “We figured out what was in the needle, and there’s a cure!”

“Ok… and anyone wanna give me the sugar-free version of that? I’m sensing a dangling ‘but’ here.” I hadn’t meant to sound so harsh, I knew she was just trying to make this easier. But I don’t have time for drawn out and easy…Faith may not have time.

“Buffy you are right, there are two sides of this…” Giles sighs and I brace myself. “As we thought, Riley was indeed working with the Council. I made some calls and found that they’ve been tracking Faith for several months.”

“Right since she’s been out of jail… they sh-shot her. She told me the first night she got here.”

It seemed so long ago.

“Well it would appear that Riley was enlisted to assist in capturing Faith… a deal was made. One slayer in trade for another.”

“In trade for another?” Willow had questioned not fully grasping the implications of what my watcher had just said. She didn’t get it. But I did and the rage pulsing though every cell of my being… my muscles burned with it. My chest felt tight.

“The Council would get Faith, Riley would get me.” I stated flatly showing no outward expression of the hell that was raging just below the surface.

“Right…” Giles eyed me warily. And I suppose he was suspecting some sort of outburst. But there was none, because deep down I know I’d suspected something like this. Some organic part of me that’s purely instinctual, the darker part of my nature that I fight so hard… That Faith’s been trying to get me to embrace.

I had seen the looks Riley had been giving Faith, felt the insistent pull to go to her, protect her. I had ignored it, ran from it like always, and now I might be losing her forever.

“My sources tell me,” Giles continues and it sounds so far away, “that there had been authorization given to administer a certain formula—”

“We think it was the same stuff Giles pumped you full of! You know? For your birth…day…” My expression must be a bit more threatening than I had thought “Right, ok…so shutting up now.”

“It’s ok Will.” I tell her…even though it's all so far from ok. I really didn’t need to be reminded of yet another betrayal in my life…the frailty of this life I trace my finger over one of the books spread out in front of me. “Death, it's possible you know… we all die. What’s now or later really?”

I feel the delicate page bite back at my skin. A paper cut. I do it again.

I’m scaring them. All I can hear is the rain and none of them will look at me now. I’m really fucking losing it. They’re only trying to help.

“Sorry, guys I’m just…I might be falling apart…”

My eyes burn anew with new tears they pour down my face and across my lips. A more bitter flavor laced in anger. Different than the absolute despair that has gripped me all night. They’re hot, like her kisses but only serve to pull sobs from me… I can’t stop.

“I-if you need some time…” A gentle hand on my arm is the farthest thing from comfort, it's not the right touch. And I try and pull it together…I wipe at my eyes and they sting.

“No, Tara I-I’m fine… I mean I’m not…” I’m breaking completely, and I pull away from that warm touch, because Faith’s hand felt so cold. “But we don’t have time.”

I hate how they’re all looking at me. Tired eyes, brimming with pity and fear. Like I’m some beaten animal.

“W-we think the Council is still here, that they might try to get to Faith again.” Tara tells me and I’m grateful for the peace that the subject change brings… How sick is that?

“Right which is why we must obtain the cure as quickly as possible.”

“Which is?” I ask my Watcher but my best friend answers me.

“It’s a simple spell, and kind of umm… anti-venom. It should work.”

What does that mean “Should?” I don’t need maybes right now.

“Buffy, the results have never been tested. It may very well cure Faith, but it also may have no effect. She was given a much more powerful concentration of the poison. And as you know the powers of the Slayer are directly affected. The hindrance of her capabilities might—”

“What are you saying here Giles? Could this ‘cure’ kill her?!” I can’t believe this…

“Well, that is doubtful. I believe NOT treating her would be more dangerous…” He sighs his non-answer and I just can’t take this anymore!!

“Then what is the fucking problem!!!?” I’m out of my seat, pacing… “Why can’t we just—”

“We think if we give her the cure she will wake up, but she w-won’t be the same… she won't be a Slayer Buffy.”

I just stare at Tara. Those words, it brought it all to stop. I should have stayed upstairs.

“Wh-what?! Are you sure?” I know they’re sure.

“Nearly certain of it. The ingredients—”

“Y-you have to decide what Faith would want…there’s still a chance she can f-fight this on her own. The Council obviously didn’t want her powers gone, if-if she wakes up she still could be fine.”

Tara thankfully cuts through Giles’ bullshit, gives me my choice. But this shouldn’t be my choice! Not when this is my fault…

“She’s so weak…oh god” I press my hands to my head, but it doesn’t make the world stop spinning, doesn’t stop that distant roar that’s all overwhelming white noise. Oh god Faith.

“Buffy we may not have much time.” He tries to make it gentle I can tell, and something in me hates him for it, hates the world for it… that I could ever be asked such a thing!

“I-I don’t know!” Being the slayer… it's so much to Faith she needs it like she needs air, wears it like a skin. And I’m realizing the same goes for me. This power, the force that runs though us… it's what we were BORN for damn it! How can I possibly try and take that from her, make her live without it!? It’s her purpose OUR destiny!

But, to have her not live at all… Christ, I’m not that strong! “Giles I can’t let her die…”

“Willow, I believe all the supplies you will need are at the shop” I sit back down and everyone else stands up, moving immediately, putting into action my ruling. It all feels so final, so absolute. Like a tomb being shut. “Here take the keys.”

Her fate sealed, and I don’t know if this was the right choice, was it for her or for me?

“We should rest first sweetie… we’ll n-need the strength.” They’re gathering up their things, making plans. Should I stop this?!

“Yeah, I’ll get to the shop tonight, the spell shouldn’t take long…”

And I know, the rational, sane part of me knows that Tara is right… but how DARE they even think of sleep now. I swallow it, the indignant ridiculous fury; focus that rage it where it belongs.

“So, the Council? You think they’re still here?” it's battery acid in my throat.

“Their mission is not complete. Buffy… what are you planning to do?” It actually makes me glad to hear the guarded thread in Giles’ voice. It lets me know I’m in the right frame of mind. My voice reflected it. Flat, void, distant.

“I’m going back upstairs to Faith… and waiting for night fall.”

And the night came, as it always does. Every minute of my daylight had been spent in silent preparation…listening to Faith's quiet cries, watching the pain shift across her face. Letting the anger build, the darkness have free reign through me… letting myself FEEL it. I haven’t slept, because I see her face every time I close my eyes. So afraid, covered in blood. I had stayed awake and watched her instead, preferring the horror of reality to the ones I know would haunt my dreams. She’s so weak and so terribly still. I’ve never felt so helpless.

I sat unable to do nothing… Nothing in the light.

It rained all day.

But when the darkness came it stopped… as if the skies had made the night ready for me. And I was ready for the night.

I had left the minute the last of the gray light had sank into the earth. I was hunting now, letting that dark and seething rage be my guide. I wanted to find the Council but would settle for anything that came along…

My ribs hurt and I’m covered in dust.

The sharp ring of my cellphone is painfully loud in the darkness. I hit the ignore button for the third time tonight.

They were all worried, and they should be. One slayer down, the other on the verge of self-destruction… and a prehistoric evil rising in a matter of days. No, things were not looking good for the hell-mouth; for the world.

I hop off my seat, start to make my way out of the cemetery… I hope something else comes along.

*****

I can feel things around me shifting I don’t know where I am, WHEN I am even… but I knew B was with me. Her presence was this surrounding all consuming calm. It dulled the pain, kept all these awful images from flashing through my head.

I hear waves crashing on some distant shore, but I can’t smell the sea.

She’s gone now, and getting further away… and I ain’t talkin’ physical presence here. I can FEEL her leavin’. It’s a connection that’s so much deeper than just the slayer thing, than just the sex and the physical.

It's this love thing, this need thing.

I can feel the anger, the pain and fear creeping up. She’s letting it take control letting it have the power, she’s losing her balance and she’s gonna lose herself.

I can’t stay here, I can’t let this happen to her. She NEEDS me damn it. And she may not have much time. I know better than anyone how quickly it all can overcome you… how good letting it all go can feel, how letting that dark half totally free can feel like being reborn.

And that’s a second before your soul dies.

I can’t let this happen to her… Somebody show me the fuckin’ door. It's time to get out of here.

PART 25

And she raged. It wasn’t just simple fighting for her. It was too pure, unadulterated, it was a struggle she could not lose. It was hurt and passion and anger, betrayal, fear-loathing-hate-dust-lust-blood, so much blood she felt as though it filled her lungs and mocked every near-last breath she took.

She raged. Because it wasn’t just her life she was fighting for.

“We alone here, Lester?”

Had it been she alone, maybe Faith wouldn’t be fighting this hard, maybe she would just let this nightmare swallow her whole. Succumb to an anesthetized void when the last dribble of pain had finally been wrung from her body. And it all hurt so fucking much, more than any stab or punch or bite. Being assaulted by her own conscience, with each memory torn from her like some vital organ, Faith could feel herself falling apart. Taking that trip back into the wasteland of a world filled with death and pain.

The one where she was a murderer. The one where she didn’t care.

“If you ever apologize to me I will beat you to death.”

That face had been chiseled out of ice and Faith felt her lips move.

“Go ahead…” Her throat burned just the same as it had that night, and it had all felt so wrong all over again.

She raged. Angel’s basement melted, and the world spiraled again but when Faith opened her eyes it was just the same old scene.

“That’s my knife.” Faith didn’t want the knife, didn’t ever want it again. Didn’t want to see the killer in those hazel eyes, didn’t want to watch B become her again.

It was all happening too fast. The wind that whipped through her hair spun the rooftop into blackness, and she was pushing through it. Like swimming through slow time syrup. Thick and impossibly stagnate.

It took her to another time another place, nowhere near where she wanted to be.

Her mother stands before her sobbing, the greasy walls of that Southie walkup the background of her miserable portrait. Faith could smell the whiskey as each burst of sorrow tore from the broken woman’s throat. It was so hard to breathe.

“You’re useless ya know firecracker…” Slurred words that coated her skin and that used, dirty feeling from way back was sneaking up on her. Faith couldn’t see a way out.

“You’re dead.” Faith told the woman with eyes that matched her own, but she didn’t sound all that convincing.

“Nuh uh babygirl I live in you.” Her mother grinned, and for an instant Faith could feel the bitter truth in those words. “Ya know how to get rida me…”

And at the looming suggestion Faith raged.

“That’s my knife…”

“You’re about to get it back.”

The macabre replay seemed endless but Faith fought, because through the muddled gray she could sense the falsity of this place. And just as in her other dreams she longed to be awake, to live in a world she had just so recently discovered.

The one with love in it.

And that thought, that thin simple thread was like a lifeline. And Faith was pulling for all she was worth. Through the hazy muddled hauntings of her past, through the pain that was so much deeper than the physical, and through the doubt.

Because there were some things she just couldn’t question. Some things she knew with a certainty to her soul.

“Hey you must be Buffy,” she head-butts a nobody vamp and the little blond girl she’d been chasing her whole life looked at her with wide stunned eyes. “I’m Faith…”

And the fog started to dissolve, leaving the only thing that Faith understood in this life with total clarity.

She was running… they were running, free and breathless through all those back alleys from so long ago. The heavy bass still thumping distantly behind them, the sound of their laughter resonating off concrete and stone. It echoed because they were alone, because the night belonged only to them. And Buffy came to stand in the pale blue circle of the streetlight… “I think I’m finding the fun, F.”

God that smile, it let her breathe again.

And it all came as such a surprise, that someone who had only known pain, and contempt; lies and betrayal… who felt that was all they had to give, could be saved by the opposite of all that. Faith had always tried not to need anything, from anybody…Living, but just barely. But that wasn’t the case anymore. She needed this, and Buffy needed her.

It was like surfacing.

“I love you baby…” And Faith gasped as she broke free. She could suddenly feel again, the sheets around her, the air that was a little cool… it smelled like rain and B’s perfume. She could hear also. The clock ticking… someone was breathing in time, someone was holding her hand.

“B…” and god was that her voice? She sounded like shit. She gave the hand that was in her own a little squeeze.

“Huh?! What? FAITH! Ohmygod!” And no, that certainly wasn’t Buffy. Faith wondered exactly how long she had been out for, wondered when the gang let a howling banshee move in. “Faith?” Dawn managed to lower her voice to a whisper, and Faith figured she must have picked up on the pained grimace she was making. She let her eyes open just the smallest bit. The early morning light sneaking through the gaps in the curtain stung, but provided just enough to make out a very blurry, and very worried face.

“Wh—who are you?” Her voice was raw on the words, and Faith watched as the younger girl's eyes grew wide. Dawn’s mouth opened a few times and the ailing slayer could almost sense the babble that was about to break free. She gave her a weak smile.

“Oh my god Faith! I’m so gonna kill you once you get better!” And the kid was smiling at her now, wiping at eyes that were damp around the edges.

“Lookin’ forward to it squirt.” Faith rasped, and tried to sit up a little, her arms trembled and Dawn helped her until she was leaning against the headboard.

“How do you feel?” She asked, and handed Faith the cup of water from the bedstand before it could be requested. And where to start with that question. Her entire body felt as though it was trapped under some immense weight, her muscles aching with a dull throb. She still felt drugged, could still feel that sick intrusion swimming faintly through her system. But mostly, Faith felt empty… there was something missing, an inherent part that she couldn’t quite name.

She felt detached. But instead she just said.

“’Bout 2 by 4…” Faith closed her eyes after a few sips. “Like I got hit in the head with one.”

“I can get you something… some aspirin maybe?”

“Nah it’ll pass…” She hoped, Faith opened her eyes again, met all the concern that was coming from the younger Summers girl with a smile. “So how long this time?”

And Faith hoped Dawn would understand. She hated talking about that time… about losing time. It made her feel more weak, more outta control than any fight, any drug. She was glad the younger girl caught on relatively quick.

“Oh not long thankfully. Just yesterday and all last night, we were all so worried. ” She looked genuinely relieved, and Faith was surprised that she found herself believing the words.

“Yeah?” She was too tired to hide that frail ring of uncertainty though. After all it didn’t sound like a whole lot of worrying going on. She focused her senses… even though that little bit was draining “It’s kinda quiet, where is everyone? Where’s B?”

And Faith realized what she had missed. Why she still felt so disoriented. The dream, that was still hanging like a vivid tapestry in her mind suddenly made so much sense. She couldn’t feel Buffy, and she needed to feel her. The hurt and the pain? It came right along with the joy and the love… Faith needed it all because feeling it all… she knew she was alive.

And the questions came rapid fire through her still clearing mind. The reason why she had fought so hard, the reason why she opened her eyes… how she had felt her love slipping away. Why wasn’t B the one holding her hand? Was she too late? Why couldn’t she feel the other slayer near?

“Dawn? Wh—” Faith saw the moment of hesitation before Dawn cover it and it was like her anxiety doubled. Fear and panic melding with the pain. Oh god “Dawn where is she?! Wh—”

“Relax Faith, Buffy is out killing stuff.” Dawn had sounded uninterested, choosing now to start straightening up the room rather than looking the slayer in the eyes. She began tossing filthy bloody clothes in the trash. It was evident in the high-jittery tone of her voice that she was faking it. “After we found out Riley was working with the Council, she went a little batty, she stayed up here with you all day while everyone else tried to get some sleep… it's hard with everything that’s going on. But the witches need their strength if they’re gonna wake you up with that spell and…”

But Faith still wasn’t prepared to what Dawn’s prattling revealed. The Council? So they had managed to track her here…and that could only mean Riley… Holy fuck.

“I fuckin knew it…I knew something was up Dawn.” Faith sighed, the throbbing in her head seeming to grow more insistent with her realization. “I should have said something ya know… but I didn’t think I—”

“No, no Faith.” And at the first hint of remorse, Dawn abandoned her nervous busy work and made her way back over to the bed. “You couldn’t have done anything, no one really could have anticipated this. No one knew what was going on with him, in his head. Besides, we don’t need two slayers being all angst-ridden here.”

“Two?” Frowning actually made Faith’s head feel better. This was all too much. She wished she didn’t remember! Another death, all the blood on her hands… and Buffy’s devastated eyes.

“Weren’t you listening?” And the teenager had said it like she had been speaking English or something! Faith just watched the patented eye-roll as Dawn continued. “Buffy’s tripping the guilt big time. When we were all sleeping, she spent the whole day up here with you, then hit the streets when night fell. She’s looking for the Council.”

“Shit…alone?” She didn’t need to see Dawn's slight nod to know the answer to that. Faith sighed, hating that she was stuck here…that she brought the Council to Sunnydale… like they didn’t have enough to worry about. But most, she hated that she wasn’t right out there at B’s side, out there making all this right. “D, I gotta get outta here.” She made a move to rise, and her muscles immediately protested. And Dawn’s hands were on her shoulders, gently…effortlessly, guiding her back against the pillows.

“Are you on crack!? Xander could kick your butt right now!” The pain had brought Faith up short, and she couldn’t help but think Dawn just might be right. But still the need to see, to be near the other slayer, the need was weighing on her more than the pain. The events of the other night were rushing back on her, the reality of it sinking in.

“But I need to find Buffy, c-can you get that Dawn? I- need to… I just need her.”

And at the raw emotion, the near desperation that was so evident in the dark slayer’s voice the younger woman’s face softened.

“She’s Ok Faith, the sun’s almost up so she’ll be here soon, everyone will be. We all agreed to meet back today to do the spell.”

“Spell?” Faith was distracted, thoughts of B at the forefront of her mind, the aching memories of her dreams clouding the back, but she finally picked up on that.

“Yeah the one to get rid of whatever that fuckface did to you.” Dawn said it with such venom, Faith felt herself actually drawing back a little. She watched as the other girl took a breath, calm it some. “But well, I guess that won’t be necessary seeing as how you’re all land of the living again, I should probably give Willow a call, let her know.”

Faith watched as the other woman began moving around the room once more, this time with actual purpose, looking for the cordless.

So they were going to fix her with a spell? That seemed a bit drastic, but maybe she didn’t know the entire situation. Whatever the beefstick had done to her, had injected her with had been pretty serious. And if the persistent ache, the weakness in her limbs were anything to go by, it had been pretty effective too. The Council weren’t ones to bother with the light stuff.

Maybe a spell was the only way. Buffy wouldn’t have let the witches do anything unless they were sure right? Not with Willow just coming off of the dark stuff, and not if there were any other chance she’d pull through right?

But yet, here she was. Wide awake without so much as an abra cadabra…

“You guys sure were quick to jump to the mojo huh?” Faith asked Dawn’s rear end, the only part of her visible at the moment as she dug through the closet, still in search of the telephone. She emerged quickly, phone in hand, and pulled a t-shirt off her head.

“Umm well, it wasn’t exactly like jumping. We had to find out some stuff… you know before we—it— could be decided.”

Ok, that was disconcerting. Faith had asked the question lightly, attempting to brighten the situation, but Dawn's expression was borderline panic.

“D?” She wasn’t sure she wanted the answer, but Dawn sputtered on.

“It wasn’t an easy choice—see, Faith…. Buffy, she…” and quickly trailed off again… and Faith could feel something inside her sinking. Dawn was backing out the room, her gaze focused on the phone in her hand, on the floor, the window, anywhere but the Slayer who was imploring her with her eyes.

“What Dawn? Buffy what?!” Faith needed an answer now. Something was going on here and Faith was growing more anxious with every second. She thought about trying to get up; stopping the younger girl's retreat, but she flexed the muscles of her legs briefly and thought better of it.

“Y-you guys should talk about it… later.” Dawn was at the door now, and all Faith could do was stare at her, bewildered. “Ya know… it’s really not even important now! I mean you’re awake, so spell? Pointless, right? So I’m gonna go call Willow now.”

And the door snicked shut behind her and Faith was left to stare at the polished wood. She brought a pillow up to her chest and hugged it, inhaling the lingering scent and listening to the quiet house.

She hated feeling this helpless, so completely alone and utterly in the dark. The silence left her with nothing but her own thoughts to fill the void, to fill the time. She hated being so still… but what choice did she have now? All Faith had to left, was to wait. Wait until some one could give her answers, for her strength to come back… until Buffy returned, and she could feel whole again.

Faith closed her eyes and hoped for patience.

*****

It was way too early in the morning, the bright warming rays of dawn just creeping their way above the roof tops of the city. And she was running late, and she had no one but herself to blame. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. She could have blamed her alarm clock for not being quite loud or insistent enough, or the bed for being just too damn comfy.

She could have blamed Tara’s warm and wonderful arms for making her feel such tranquility in the midst of all this madness.

But if Willow was honest with herself there was only one simple reason. One thing that kept her from heading to the magic shop right upon waking. One thing that kept her hesitating as she selected each item from the shelves; that made her hand tremble as she lifted the required texts. It was doubt. Self-doubt more specifically.

Willow thought back to the promise she had made to her group of friends, to the uneasy agreement between her and Faith. She didn’t think she would be tested so quickly.

The red-head smiled sadly at the irony. The one person who knew how low she had sank, the one person who TRULY knew the depth, the pleasure of the darkness; knew how easy it could be to lose yourself to it… was now the one asking her to walk that edge.

Leave it to Faith to make things complicated.

And she still wasn’t quite sure how she felt about the dark slayer’s return, how she had come in like a sudden wind, stirring up everything around her… they had all been so unprepared. Well, all but Buffy. And THAT was going to take some getting used to. But her best friend had never looked so happy, so at peace than she had the past few days… and that was despite all the chaos around them.

Tara had really helped her see. They had gotten past the resentment she had long harbored against Faith, and called it by its true name: jealousy. And it had felt a little like freedom; being told it had been ok to feel those things for Buffy back then, and being able to let it go. Tara had told her about seeing the Slayer’s auras, the purity of their joining, the perfection in their balance.

Tara had been so absolutely certain, that Willow hadn’t any choice but to believe. She still didn’t know if she could trust Faith, but she knew to the core of her being she could trust Tara.

And besides, she reasoned that one chance deserved another. And since the redhead was being honest with herself, Faith was living up to her half of the deal; proving her self…that she’d changed. Keeping her secret.

The problem was, Willow wasn’t too sure she’d be able to do the same.

It was like that, with that shiver of uncertainty and confusion still clutching at her skull, that he found her. She was fumbling with her cellphone, trying to balance it, the books and her bag of tricks. The melodic ring danced through the calm of the early morning air.

“Shit…” The phone hit the ground, and she’d bent down to grab it, only to come up short as another hand came into view and wrapped around the tiny device.

“Such dirty words from such a sweet, ripe mouth…”

That drawl, that low, slow timbre felt like a sudden punch. Willow jerked backwards, sending the rest of the supplies tumbling. Rack only grinned and hit the ‘end’ button, bringing silence to the morning once again.

Willow became very aware of the vacant alley where she stood, and of the only exit that was now blocked by a towering form.

“Stay away from me.” Even with all her loathing, her voice still shook.

“Aww now baby girl, don’t be so mean to me. Not in front of our guests…” He spread out his arms and made a slow spin gesturing their surroundings.

There was no one there, no one that she could see.

“You’re high Rack.” She was backing up, even though there was nowhere to go; her eyes kept darting to the brick and concrete walls around them.

“No shit sweetheart! I had to celebrate! I got me some new friends from far away. They showed me some big things.” He laughed a low chuckle that gradually became maniacal. Willow could see the creeping oil swimming in his crazy eyes. “Yup things that are gonna get me outta this town. But first I got somethin’ ta give ya.”

The sight made her sick; reminded her of all that she could so easily be. She forced the defiance in her voice “I don’t need anything else from you.”

It only made him smile wider…wilder, the leer in his voice filthy and savage.

“Oh, I know you don’t, you’re juicy enough all on your own.”

“Then what the fuck are you talking about?!” Willow was done; she’d had enough. The courage was knifing through, sparked by the way Rack’s gaze was clinging to her body. She took a step forward, bold now. It was just the other day after all that he was sniveling in fear of what she could do. He didn’t know about her vow to never use the dark magic again.

Of course her bravado was short lived.

“Oh don’t you hear the bells strawberry?” After he spoke again she saw them, dark figures stepping from the shadows of the alley. “It's Christmas!”

Rack proclaimed with perverse joy and Willow didn’t even need a moment to consider who their ‘guests’ were. Not after what had happened last night, not after what Giles had told them. The Council. And now with Riley dead Willow was sure of who their next pawn would be.

“Proceed…” A horse but distinctly English voice came from the man who just pulled a cigarette from his jacket. And before she could blink, before she could even consider what the hell was going on… it hit her.

Hard. Shimmering waves made the air bend and tremble as they flowed from Rack’s finger tips, slamming into her, filling her and Willow gasped because she liked it.

She felt it swim through her like a violation, a rape that she wanted. The intensity between the longing and the thrill, the shiver to the spasm, it was an intrusion she knew to her soul she should resist… she didn’t.

She thought of Tara, a brief shining light before the slow ripples began to lap at the edges of her mind. Creeping thick waves and Willow’s eyes were black with it.

Somewhere, distantly she could hear Rack starting to scream, as the power between them began to shift, as it became apparent that he was no longer giving it willingly, but Willow was taking it. She was draining him. She stepped closer, her eyes bright and wild, and pressed her hand to his chest. His screams became pathetic little whimpers.

The smoking man smiled, cautious, and Rack fell to the ground in a heap, his insane screams echoed down the alley.

“You shouldn’t have done this!” She spoke to both the man she had destroyed and the one dressed all in black grinning calmly.

“Really? Do you not like your gift Miss Rosenberg?” In the periphery Rack slammed his face into the wall. He laughed as off yellow pieces fell from his mouth, clattered to the concrete, tiny splashes in his blood.

“Gift?!” Her body shook with twisted bliss, it fought