Revenge of the Dickens
by Poet
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: General season 4 stuff with Faith thrown in the mix.
Author's Notes: Diverging from cannon entirely here for background reasons… just go
with it people. Continuation of "…And Candycorn Dreams." Eat up!!!
Frustration and apprehension. Maybe a little agitation. That's all my state of mind has been about for the last few days.
I hate it, because I shouldn't be feeling this way. I shouldn't be worried, or stressed. I shouldn't be constantly on edge and snapping at the people closest to me. I should be ecstatic.
The last couple of months have been absolutely amazing. I still can't believe it sometimes. I, Buffy Ann Summers, have a girlfriend. It's crazy right? Cause I'm like the straightest person I know!
Well, not anymore I guess. Not since Faith.
God, just thinking about her puts my brain on pause for a second and I can feel the goofy grin spreading across my face. Everything's been like a dream since the party. All this time I had fought my attraction to her, denied and avoided it, because I thought it would be wrong, or somehow make things more complicated, more difficult.
How totally wrong I'd been.
Settling the past, all the apologies, the forgiveness it was suddenly so simple. Sure it hurts… bringing up our past. I hate the things that she did and honestly there's a part of me that STILL thinks all the shit was her fault. It's a very small piece and shrinking with every day, because I hate the things I did to her just as much.
Things aren't perfect but we don't hide from it anymore. Like when I ask what she's thinking, she tells me. Straight up hard and cold truth. And we deal with it together.
Nothing has ever felt this free…like it all became so clear, so damn easy once we admitted it, finally found the courage to come out with it all.
I love puns. And to think all it took was a whole lot of alcohol and some really slutty costumes.
I had been so happy, so perfectly content that I had almost forgotten. Yeah, seriously… like despite all the decorations everywhere you turn, the steady stream of seasonal music and bells jingling and GOD the evil sweaters!!
But it's just Faith can have that affect on me. She makes me forget all the pain, all the crap that is so often a part of our lives. But it had snuck up on me so suddenly, and now it was bearing down on me.
Christmas. And only five fucking sale riddled shopping days left.
All I can do is sigh as I stare at the overstuffed refrigerator. I shouldn't be holding the door open like this, I'm letting all the cold out, but I've been trying to find an inch of room for this carton of milk.
Do we really need a thirteen-pound turkey!? There is no way we're gonna be able to finish it, and it's just gonna sit there and I'm gonna end up eating turkey sandwiches and turkey salad and turkey a la mode for weeks and end up with a fucking tryptophan addiction and I can NOT afford rehab AND these student loans!
GOD I hate this stupid holiday!
I slam the fridge door shut, giving up on the milk. It's not even real milk!! It that Soy stuff Willow wanted to try!
Way back when I used to look forward to this time of year. Yup, Christmas used to be about family and friends and those recurring cartoon specials they would play every year. Me. my mom and my dad. We would leave early for nana Summers'. The entire drive to Napa valley every year was almost as fun as actually getting there. When I was little we would sing songs, play car games like 'I-spy'… I used to love seeing them hold hands, sneak kisses when they thought I had fallen asleep. When I got older I would tease them about it, and we would laugh and joke and talk for the entire four hour drive.
It had all been so simple then, we were happy for so many years. It only took one to change it all. The year I was called they started fighting. Like way more than normal couple-y marital issues.
Mom still denies I had anything to do with it. She's a real shitty liar.
We still went to Napa that year. We rode the whole way in silence, the tense kind where you can still FEEL all words that aren't being said. They hurt worse than if you'd heard them.
Needless to say the family dinner was less than pleasant. To make it simple there was a lot of screaming, crying, accusing… things got thrown and my dad ended up storming out.
He came back later that night drunk with some other woman… screaming out on the front lawn that it was over how he wanted a 'normal' family a 'real' one and not some walking freak show.
I remember how the lights that decorated the house flashes red and green and gold across mom's devastated face.
She still denies that he was referring to me. He may not have known I was the Slayer, but he knew something was up. I hate thinking about it… all that disappointment in his eyes.
Me and mom moved to Sunnydale a few months later. No more family, no more tradition. Just us. Every year since then we've kind of kept it simple… Thanksgiving has always been better… when we visit her side of the family. But we sometimes got a tree… or we'd go on vacation someplace far away from all the memories. We went to New York once; that was kinda cool.
Mom's going to be out of town this year too. Working.
This was all my friends' idea. A Scooby Christmas. God, isn't that one of those recurring cartoon specials? Anyways. They wanted to start a new tradition. Since we're all in college now, mostly away from our families, we should start one of our own, celebrate all that we've been through; how far we've come over the years.
And we all have come so far.
Again my thoughts drift to Faith. She has survived so much grown into such a beautiful creature. I can't help but love her for it. She told me yesterday that Christmas is one of the holidays she's totally indifferent to. Her family never celebrated it. I was shocked but she had just shrugged it off.
"Never enough money when things were good." She had smiled at me and taken another french fry from my plate. "Ya know for the bird and all the food or travelin' to the relatives. Then, when it got worse…"
She had gotten so quiet then and trailed off. I had thought for a moment that she wouldn't continue, that she might be closing off again...remembering all the things she still couldn't tell me. But then I watched as her eyes rose from her plate to meet mine. And god they were so deep; shining in the dim light.
"When things were bad I guess… I just knew Santa wouldn't be leavin' any presents around our place… at least not any that weren't at least 80 proof."
"Baby..." I had whispered, feeling that anger-hurt-frustration that comes with wishing I could make it all different for her… better for her. But that smile had cut me off, it brought me up short and at that sight I swear I thought my heart started beating triple-time.
"But B, this is kinda the first time I feel like I already got my gift."
I swear to god I wanted to climb across that table and take her right there in the restaurant. Seriously, but our waiter came back with the check moments later and I was forced to wait until we got back to her place.
But now, just thinking about her face when she said those words… the way she had grinned, letting me know that her gift was ME! I'm starting to think that this new tradition might be a damn good idea. It's something we deserve, an escape from all the danger and fighting evil.
A chance for all of us to be a little normal… well as normal as we can get.
And now a new emotion is sweeping over me. Determination. I'm going to make this Christmas one to remember, for Faith and for all of us!
With that new resolve sweeping over me, I cram the soy juice carton into the fridge and slam the door quick. I've got so much shopping to do!
B is acting super giddy. It's a welcome change but it's kinda freakin' me out too. Just last night she was all kinds of down over it almost being Christmas. For so long I always thought I had B figured out. I thought she had this perfect life; that there were things that she couldn't possibly understand because of that… I know different now though I GET her now. A hell of a lot better than I thought I did.
She told me what went down with her father, after she was called. That's the reason she'd been so down and cranky the past few days… but now she's bouncin' around like she spent the morning shootin' up caffeine and I can't figure out the reason.
I hope she's not goin' bi-polar or nothin'. That would suck.
We're all sitting around Giles' kitchen listening as he briefs the gang on some suspected haunting that might be a potential danger or something. I haven't really been payin' too much attention though.
Not that I don't want to or nothin'. The slaying is our duty, it's serious shit. But it's kinda difficult to think when B's hand keeps sneakin' under the table to rub up and down my leg! See… this is another thing I never saw coming about B. The woman is a total and absolute tease.
Back in the day I thought all those flirty little looks were unintentional. That Buffy had no clue what she was doing to me… I gotta bite my lip as I feel that hand slide up higher…pressing against the seam between my legs. Jesus fuck. It takes all my willpower to keep from grindin' back down against her.
Now I'm pretty damn sure she knew exactly what she was doing back then. I feel her give my pussy a little squeeze before she slides that tormenting back to safer territory. Goddamn I'm so kicking her ass for this later… then after I can kiss it all better.
"And so you see the… um, encounters have all been reported near the Highland Grove area…"
Now that B's hand has left the danger zone Giles' voice filters in through the hazy 'sex! now!' voice that's running a constant loop through my head. I try to focus back in on the conversation. Everybody turns as Oz gives a low whistle and leans back in his chair.
"Highland Grove? So our demons or whatever like things a little more highclass…"
He's right I think they pave the streets of that neighborhood in 20's defiantly not the usual spot to find the uglies. I wonder if it's got anything to do with the holiday…a theory was just startin' up in my head when that evil little hand is on me again, her finger pressing right on my clit.
"Yeah I don't think I've ever had to patrol there." B says it so casual… damn near thoughtful! What has gotten into her today? You'd never know she was drivin' the person next to her completely insane.
Fuck cares what's gotten into her… all I know is that I want HER in ME, like, now. I'm getting' so wet I can't help but slouch down in my chair a little more, spreading my legs a bit to give her more room. I'm trying so hard to keep my breathing all normal but it ain't easy. I don't dare look at Buffy right now, I might snap… but cut my eyes to the rest of the group.
Red's got her face buried in a book… nodding along to whatever Giles is talking about and I think her boy is writing a song for that new years gig the band's got coming up… Xander is balancing a pencil on his nose, fuckin' dork… and the G-man is in all out Watcher form. He's got a huge map of the city set up pointer in one hand and a big ass book in the other. Classic.
B is seriously playin' with fire here though, she's just stroking me slow and all gentle like…it feels so damn good but I think I can keep it together until outta nowhere she gives me that pressure… hard and right where I need it most.
The moan catches in my throat before I can stop it and the best I can do is lamely turn it into a cough. I sit back up, shiftin' around in my chair away from those searching fingers, turnin' some pages in the book I'm supposed to be going through and I see Red look up. RIGHT at me. Shit shit shit!!!
There is like a split second where I think we're doomed but then Willow just rolls her eyes and goes back to reading.
"You all right there slayer?" B asks me lowly, and I know she's got that little half smile going like she's won something… bitch.
"Five by five B." I'm proud of how smooth my voice sounded… you'd never know I was seconds away from creamin my jeans.
That was way too close. She's gonna get us caught out if she's not careful.
I mean it wouldn't be that big a deal to me. But seeing as how B still wants to keep this all on the low, I figured she'd be acting a little more discrete.
In the two months that we've been…umm… I don't really know what to call this thing between us. I know it's not just fuckin' or sex. It's way more than that. There's like these feelings… things that nobody's ever made me feel, it's more than just wanting her, it's a NEED.
I mean I just look into her eyes and I feel like I'm falling. We talk about everything now…and sometimes she comes over and we don't even have sex at all! Shocker right? We just like… I don't know, end up holdin' each other.
She said she wanted to be mine, forever. But she still never stays the whole night, and she still gets freaked whenever I mention anything about tellin' her friends.
So I stopped the mentioning.
It's getting kinda frustrating, not knowin' where we stand and all. But things right now are still better than they've ever been.
I feel B give my leg a squeeze before she brings her hand back up to turn the page of her magazine. Yeah magazine, not some ancient ass book.
She's been flipping though copies of 'Food Weekly' and 'Modern Gourmet' and that has me more terrified than any clan of ghosts ever could. I think B is plannin' on cooking for the holiday.
God help us all.
"So as you see it's imperative that the two of you be especially diligent in your patrols for the next few nights. At least until the holiday is over." Giles concludes and closes the massive text he was reading from. He's giving both me and B this expectant look…
Ok there has to be some question I can ask without giving away the fact that I hadn't heard a word the guy had said right?
"Umm… so any special weapons we should be looking for?" I feel B's hand slide higher up my thigh again. I can hardly keep my voice from shaking. "Ya know anything out of the ordinary?"
"What Faith? You drop out before that chapter of English Lit?" Xander smirks before Giles can answer my question.
I feel my jaw twitch at the instant urge to smack the shit outta him hits me. So much for all those happy feelings B's little grope-job was giving me. Nothin' but ice in my veins now. It doesn't help that I got no clue what he's talking about either.
God I'm getting' so fuckin' sick of this crap. I had almost thought that things were changing around Halloween. But I guess people are a lot more accepting when they're completely plastered.
That's what I get for hopin'.
Whatever. Same thing everyday, it's almost like a fuckin' routine. Things have gone all silent now, and everybody's watchin' me like I'm gonna leap over the table and literally bite the kid's head off. As usual.
Buffy included. Both her hands are definitely above the table now and I can practically feel the tension rolling off of her. She doesn't really think I would do anything does she? I gotta wonder sometimes…
"Just tryin' to be prepared Xan." I say smoothly, tryin' to take the high ground.
"Right…" But he just keeps right on talkin' "Wouldn't want to have any more of those pesky 'accidents'… right? Wouldn't want any more innocent bodies turning up."
And I feel B tense up next to me like she's about to say something.
She doesn't. And I've had enough. I stand up pushing back from the table so my chair goes toppling. "You know Xander I don't even think I was talkin' to you."
He's not lookin' all that sure of himself now and that makes me feel a little better. I almost wish his aggravating little girlfriend were here to beat the crap out of him, so I wouldn't have to.
I cut my eyes to B and she looks way too interested in her magazine...
Thanks for the help baby. Sure she's all down for getting a little nasty right in front of her friends, but heaven help her if she has to defend me to them.
"Fuck it, I'll deal with it on patrol." I scoop up my jacket from the floor and keep my gaze planted firmly on B as I slip it on. No way she can't feel this vibe I'm sending her…even though she refuses to look my way. Is she even gonna make a token attempt to stop me?!
"Faith, wait." It's the words I want to hear, but they're not from the right person. I turn to Giles, he's taken off the glasses and rubbing his temples. Yeah I can feel a migraine coming on too Rupert. "If we all might calm down for a moment." He continues "Now Faith has posed a valid question…" He goes to flipping through that massive book again, but Willow chimes in before he finds whatever he was looking for.
"It says here that the weapons are usually more psychological." She looks up at me with an expression that almost feels reassuring.
Huh. It still surprises me, how Red seems to be the one who acts the LEAST like an ass towards me. Oh she still has her moments, but it's like she actually makin' an effort.
"So we're talkin' mind games. Showin' people the evil of their ways." I conclude, the portions of Giles' lecture that I was able to catch starting to come together in my head. It made me think back to that movie they would play over and over this time of year. I fail to see the bad in this really. So what if a few scrooges get what's coming to `em? It always works out in the end right? "So why are we worried about this again?" I ask, hoping for a little clarity.
"Oh I don't know, maybe the 5 comatose patients at Sunnydale General?" And Xander put every ounce of sarcasm he had that answer. "But ya know, I can see how that wouldn't fall into your scope of concern. It doesn't involve getting laid or—"
"Fuck you pizza boy." I cut him off before he can really get on a roll.
"No thanks, tried that once… not the best time I've ever had but—"
"Xander, chill out man." I'm surprised that Oz is the one that reins him in. I'm more surprised that B is STILL staying quiet through all this! I can feel the muscles in my arms twitchin' the need to do some serious damage just flowing through me… I wanna let that urge take over so bad.
"If you two are quite done…" Giles sounds all exasperated, he ain't the only one… I just wanna get out of here.
"So back to the point." Red makes that crinkly face as she speaks "I think it might be something more than just the mind games that are reducing these guys to veggies …Giles can you take a look at this?"
She passes the book to G and I take a second to sit down again. I look over at B and she's looking all apologetic. Big eyes… adorable little pout… I can almost feel myself melting when she mouths a little 'I'm sorry.' But damn it I'm pissed!
I give her my best 'we'll talk later' look. Which might also be my 'I wanna fuck you so bad' look because now B is makin' with the blushing. Christ she's so frustrating sometimes.
"Yes here it is…" Giles says at last. And I look up just in time to see Red lookin' at me funny… looking at me and B funny, like she's tryin' to make up her mind about something. And shit again… just keeps getting better. "It appears that in addition to the psychological torment, these spirits can cause elaborate illusions that can drive the victim into harming themselves."
He says it in a tone that lets everyone know there's a potential for lot more research… the man is practically salivating.
"Right magic! Oh look at the time…" Xander stands up, and glances at his bare wrist. "I gotta head to work. Many pizzas to deliver… pepperoni waits for no one!"
And I see a small chance for some payback.
"Dude, who orders pizza at 10 in the mornin'…" I give him an evil grin and his eyes narrow a bit… I can practically see the wheels turnin' in his head.
"Umm… well see…" He's still slowly backing towards the door. I think the boy must have the slowest wheels ever.
"Xander do please sit down. There is much work to be done." G says it all stern, but he's still looking way too excited. And I think we might be in for a long one.
...to be continued...