Watching Shadows
by Rochelle
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Joss owns.
Author's Notes: Just a short little piece to try break my gaps in not
writing. I'll eventually get round to picking up the pieces of my
unfinished stuff.
It's not an obsession. I repeat this like a mantra in my head. It's not, it's not, it's not. I love her, I just don't have the guts to face her, to face up to what I did in the past and make amends with her. So for now, I guess in a way, I'm watching her back from a distance. No, that does not make me a stalker, just shows that I care even if I can't show her yet. If I hadn't have screwed up so badly, it would've been me on patrol with her. Maybe if I hadn't done what I did, by now she would've known how I really felt, and I wouldn't have had to make blatent come-ons to her which she just brushed off.
"So how comes you came on patrol with me tonight Will?"
"Just didn't want you being on your own."
"And tonight is different from being on my own normally because?"
"Well you know, what with Faith being, well out of jail and Angel not knowing where she is and you and her being..."
"I get it Will, it's okay. I mean, we still have issues, but I doubt she'll ever come back to Sunnydale."
So wrong B, how can you be so wrong. This is the one place I would come back to. Even if I was still psycho, which I'm not, but I'd come back here. Unresolved issues and all that. I mean, now I'm not looking to fight, but the old me would've come back to prove I could kick your ass. The only reason I'm here, is because I'm waiting for the right time to let you know I love you and I want you.
"...we're real good lately, and Tara was wondering if you wanted to come round sometime. We can cook, well we can summon food, and it'd be really good and you know you're welcome."
"Thanks Will, it's really sweet of you and her. Thank Tara for me."
Her laugh is so sweet, sweeter than honey. Honey from a bee. Sorry, I tend to get carried away with amusing myself sometimes.
"Well here we are."
"I should go, Tara'll be getting worried. You sure you don't want to come in?"
"I'm sure Will. See you tomorrow."
"Okay, take care getting home."
"Slayer remember? I always take care."
I wonder what it'd be like if I'd have had friends like that. I didn't, so I suppose there's no point going there. She stops abruptly. Shit. Did I step on a branch or something? I tend to zone out when I'm thinking. Shit. Shit. Shit.
"Why can't things ever be simple?"
I hold my breath hoping that it's a rhetorical question to herself and she hasn't found me out.
"Maybe someday Faith'll realise I only did what I did because I cared. Maybe someday I'll let myself feel what I felt without holding back."
She continues walking again and it takes me a minute to remember to breathe, let alone follow her in the shadows. She cared? I wonder what she was holding back, what she wasn't telling me. She walks into her house and I wait until I see her bedroom light come on. Time for me to head off for another day.
Another place, another time. Maybe someday Buffy Summers will be mine. Until then I'll just keep watching out for her.