End Game
by Sam
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Faith, Buffy, and the rest belong to Joss, I have nothing
but a tormented Muse.
Author's Notes: Got this idea from something Piper said about it always being
Faith in anguish so I figured I would turn the tables but be warned
this is not a happy fic as it involves character death and is laced
with Anguish. Ultra angst ensues.
Thanx: To Coy for being a most cool, beta, advisor, editor, and
friend.
Feedback: I'm addicted to it so please give me a fix :-)
yeah this is how it ends after all this time everything just fades away worn-out and empty and all alone with nothing left to say oh it's all too big to make a difference it's all too wrong to make it right yeah everything is too unfair everything too much to bear --The Cure; 'End'
The cold rain beat against Buffy's already drenched clothes, but it didn't matter, nothing really mattered anymore. Tears filled her eyes as she caressed the top of the cold granite tombstone.
"God I miss you, I don't know what I'm suppose to do anymore. I dropped out of college, I know if you were here you'd yell at me for doing that, something like `B you got to stay in college', but I can't do it. I mean what's the point of going to classes, what's the point of doing anything if you're not here with me."
Buffy's legs buckled and the blonde fell to her knees sobbing, "Why'd it have to happen, why'd we have to go on patrol that night, God if only we would have stayed home I'd still have you. It's not fair, we were slayers, we're not supposed to get killed by some fucking drunk on our way home. God why'd we have to go on patrol that night."
Buffy collapsed up against Faith's tombstone, weeping openly as the memories of that night haunted her, she saw the two of them walking hand in hand back towards their apartment, she heard the screeching of tires, saw Faith pushing her out of the way, "God it should have been me, why'd you push me out of the way. It should have been me, God why'd you have to do it."
Buffy pulled herself off the ground; a fresh stream of tears ran down her cheek. She ran her hand across the top of the tombstone, "I love you so much, everyday here is a dagger through my heart. God I miss you, I can't go on like this sweetheart, it hurts too much. I wake every morning and you're not there and every night I cry myself to sleep because I know I can't hold you in my arms any more. Everyone's telling me it's gonna be okay, that it'll get better, but they're wrong. It's not Okay! It's not going to get better! You're gone, Oh my God y-y-you're Gone."
Buffy started to hyperventilate as she cried out in anguish, "I feel so empty, so alone. I'm surrounded by family and friends but I'm alone, I'm alone because you're not here. God I miss you so much."
Buffy leaned over and kissed the top of Faith's tombstone, "I can't do it, not without you, I can't go on like this, I just can't.
Buffy walked into the apartment that she had, she and Faith had shared, everything in it was a reminder of just how much she had lost. She didn't bother to remove her mud caked shoes, it didn't matter if the carpet got soiled.
She walked into the bathroom and through tear stained eyes looked back at herself in the mirror, "God please have mercy on me, I can't go on without her."
She reached down and picked up the razor in her trembling hands hoping that soon she would be with Faith again.