If You Leave
by Sarah Meyers
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Duh, Joss is the man. I own nothing but my crappy ass computer
that I type this on.
Author's Notes: The title is the name of some 80's song that my fav. band Good
Charlotte did a remake of. It kicks ass. Go buy the soundtrack to Not
Another Teen Movie. LOL.
Dedication: To New Orleans for inspiring me to write again. *grins* Must've
been all that alcohol. And to Anne, just because some things never change.
PROLOGUE
I never would've thought that things would turn out like this. I am me after all, and I've never meant much to anyone. My family included. At least, what I do know of my family. So when I came to Sunnydale, while I had hoped for something more, I never really expected, or let myself believe that things would be different. I've always had this motto that got me by in life: Want. Take. Have. Except when I made it to good old SunnyD, I found out that my motto doesn't always work as great as usual. Things seem to work a bit differently around here.
The night that I met B was the night that I learned my lesson. I definitely wanted her, and anyone with two eyes had to know that much. But then, the people of this town are obviously one french fry short of a happy meal. They've gotta be pretty fucking dumb to stick around in a town full of vamps after all. But that's beside the point. The point is, I wanted B in the worst way, but I didn't even stand a snowballs chance in hell of getting her.
Except, that's where I was wrong. It seems my motto rubbed of on B. But of course, it wasn't always peaches and cream for us. In fact, it was anything but the fluffy little love story most expect it to be. Sure, we had it all, but it took a lot of bullshit for us to get here. Of course, most of the mistakes were mine. But don't get me wrong, B isn't the little Miss Innocent that she likes to pretend she is. Well, she may have been before I came along but I made sure to rectify that as soon as possible.
So here it is, history in the making. The story of the Chosen Two, now the Chosen One.
"G-man, I can't do this. I'm no fucking Shakespeare okay? Can't you just let me grieve on my own?" I shout as I slam my fist into the table, snapping the cheap Bic pen I had been writing with in two.
I feel him walking up behind me to place his hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry Faith, but it must be done. It's for the good of all the future slayers, to ensure that we never encounter another situation like this. It's hard, I know. But it's also for the best."
"How do you figure that it's for the best? Making me relive every detail of what happened between B and me now that she's dead? Maybe I just wanna fucking forget!"
"Is that what you really want? To just forget the last three years of your life? And you know I hate the council as much as you do, but this is for the good of the world, and for the future slayers. Now pull yourself together."
"But I don't see what the point is in this. Why do they need to know the details of mine and B's relationship? What the hell does that have to do with anything? Just answer me that and I'll do your stupid fucking project for you."
"The point is that there's never been two slayers to co-exist before. Kendra and Buffy did, but they didn't have the same sort of bond the two of you have. Consider it as you writing a piece of history."
"Yeah, and history goes in books dont'cha know," Xander pipes in. Like I really need an audience now?
"Come on G-man, you know this is a load of crap. The council hates me and they just want to make me suffer by reliving all this stuff. That's all. They don't give a shit about how B and I 'co-existed'."
"Then don't do this for them. Do it for yourself. It'll be good for you to get it out anyways. It can help you move on."
"I don't want to move on! I'm going to bring her back! You'll see. I'm outta here." I stand up from the table in the magic shop and grab my notebook, silently laughing to myself. Really, what is the point in this? So a bunch of old men at the council can get off on the details of mine and B's relationship? That is, if they can ever even manage to read my handwriting.
I take a look at the gang all sitting around, lost in their own world much like I am. Sighing deeply I shake my head softly as I nod in Giles' general direction and head out of the Magic Box. I've got no clue where I'm going, but lately stuff like that doesn't matter. No one knows anything about what’s going on or what we're supposed to be doing. I suppose the pieces still need to be picked up. The only thing I care about is finding a way to bring B back to me. To all of us.
That’s when it hits me. Maybe there is a point to what the council is doing. B was their best slayer right? Whether they liked her or not, she was the best. And if I go through everything we've been through together, maybe then, I really could think of something that'd bring her back.
For the first time since that night, the night that I lost my B, the faintest bit of a smile spreads across my lips and I know what I've got to do. Sure, it's a bogus, stupid ass project. But it's the only hope I've got now. And I'll be damned if I'm not going to cling to that with all I've got.
I'll get my B back. Everything else can go to hell for all I care.
Dedication: To everyone who sent me FB telling me to continue this. You have no idea how much its appreciated.
~We don't know why The innocent die Will any of us ever be the same?~
"Hey D, you home?" I call out as I walk into the house. It's weird living here now. It feels so empty without Miss S and B. Sure, Red and Blondie are here now but there's still a horrible void.
"I'm here. What's with all the shouting?" I hear Dawn calling from the kitchen. Doing the obvious I follow her voice to find her sitting at the kitchen table reading. I think if there's anyone who understands anything close to how I feel it's Dawn. I know she feels it's her fault that B's gone just as much as I do. We both think we failed the person that we love most. Except, she didn't fail. I did. I just wish I could convince her of that.
"I need your opinion on something," I say as I pull a seat out across from her and prop my feet up on the table. It's sad, but I even miss B yelling at me for doing that. It's just one of those things you grow accustomed to over time. Even all that little nagging becomes something you learn to love. I guess it's true, it just shows a person cares.
"On? I'm kinda in the middle of something here," Dawn replies in that agitated tone of hers. I guess I can't blame her. We've kinda been fighting a bit lately. Everything seems to be fucked up now that B's gone. How the fuck am I supposed to be a parent? Thank God for the rest of the gang, or I'd be so fucked.
"Well you know that lame ass thing the council was trying to get me to write?" I pause, waiting for some sort of response.
"Oh yes, I can't wait to read your great novel. I'm sure it'll be a best seller someday," she laughs.
"Whatever. Look I'm serious here. I thought maybe if I did write it like they wanted, I could think of something to bring B back."
"Faith," she starts and puts her book down getting that serious look. "Buffy is dead. Just like mom. How the hell are you going to bring her back?"
"She's died once and come back! How can you not think that there's a way to do it again? There has to be," I plead with her.
"I can't Faith. I can't believe she'll come back and then doesn't. Not like I did with mom. You have to understand that. It hurts, but it hurts a hell of a lot more when you lose all the hope you have. So it's best to never get any hope at all."
I watch as she stands up and walks out of the kitchen with a sad smile. I know she's just trying to act tough, in a way I suppose we all are, but if anything else, it's just strengthened my resolve in writing this thing. Finding a pen on the table I get comfortable for a bit of writing and go for it, trying to remember as far back as I can.
I remember the night that I met B pretty well. I suppose it's a hard thing to forget after all. It was the night my life began to change, when it began to have some meaning. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not going all sappy on you or anything, but it was important.
I came to Sunnydale in hopes of getting help to get rid of Kakistos. My watcher had told me about B, some kick ass slayer in Sunnydale who was all high and mighty and shit. I never was one to ask for help, but after my watcher was killed I had nothing, and no choice in the matter.
So anyways, I got to Sunnydale and heard about this place called The Bronze. It was apparently the only place that anyone could have any fun around there. I figured even if B was a goodie-two-shoes she had to at least know how to have fun right?
What I hadn't expected was all the vamps that hung around that place. I had known that this place was the hellmouth, but compared to Boston, well it was just different. I wasn't used to a place where the vampire population outnumbered that of the humans. It actually ended up ruining everything I had planned.
What I wanted was to meet B as just another person and get to know her before I laid all my shit on her and asked for help. But I got caught up in the back alley fighting some vamp that thought disco was still cool. Though I do have to give points to that song 'It's Raining Men'. I don't know who sings it, or if it's even from the 70's but it's funny as hell.
Anyways, so I'm busy trying to stake some vamp when I realize I don't have a flippin' stake. But then I see some blonde goddess running out of nowhere with a bunch of other people and I can just feel it. I know it's her. I almost want to stop and laugh as I see her pulling her stake out but instinct kicks in and I realize we can make small talk when I'm done with the vamp.
So I quickly take him out and then realize there's a bunch of people staring at me like I'm some sort of mutant. I hear some guy, who I got to know as Oz say something about a new slayer in town and then things definitely got weird. At least Xander seemed to like me, though as I learned, he likes anything with boobs.
I don't think B was too happy about the situation though. I suppose I wouldn't be either if I were her. Hell, I wouldn't know what to think if I were her. Except I'm not her. I'm me. Which means all I could do was think, 'Holy shit, I'm standing directly in front of the sexiest girl on this planet.' I can't help it; I'm not really that deep of a person.
We all ended up inside, with me being the center of everyone's attention. Normally, that's exactly where I want to be so I told my bogus stories about slaying to win everyone over. But one look at B and I knew she either wasn't buying it, or at least wasn't impressed. Now that I look back on it, I don't think she was too fond of the fact that for the moment she wasn't the center of attention.
"Hey B, wanna get out of here and well figure out what's up with the two slayer stuff?"
"I don't know F," I remember her snapping back. She definitely didn't take to being called B very well.
"Oh go on Buff. How often does something this exciting happen in Sunnydale that isn't actually something evil?” Xander helps. He's kinda cute too, in that "I'd love to steal your innocence" way. I also noticed, along with what seems to be his girlfriend, that he's been salivating over me for as long as we've been in here.
"See, he agrees. Please B?" I asked again as I layed on my puppy dog eyes.
"Fine. But the name's Buffy. Buf-fy. Or is that too hard for you to comprehend?" she questioned back, but I was able to pick up on the playfulness in her voice.
"Oh, you are so going to pay for that B." I shot back as I stood up.
"Oh yeah? How do you think you'll be able to handle that?"
I just smirked at her, and that was when it all started. The very first night we met, I knew there was nothing more that I wanted than to make her mine. Chasing her out of The Bronze, the gears set in motion as I let her lead me to the unknown, to the depths of a new town, and to a new life.
"Faith?" Dawn's hesitant voice draws me out of my writing. "Are you okay?"
"Five by five kiddo," my voice cracks, and for the first time I realize that I've been crying while writing.
"Can I read?"
Again, her voice is hesitant, almost as if she's afraid that one wrong word is going to break me. I just nod at her and watch as she picks the notebook up and heads into the living room. Out of curiosity I follow her and sit at the end of the couch and instinctively she moves so that her head is resting on my lap. Stuff like this bothered me a lot at first, but when I realized that she's just this kid, who's lost her mother and her sister within the span of a few months, I understand her need for some kind of affection.
I absently run my fingers through her hair as more memories flood my mind. Mostly of all the times that B and I sat on this very couch, in this very position and just talked, sometimes for hours. It seems it's always the little things you miss most.
The sound of the notebook closing lets me know that Dawn's done reading what I've written so far and she tilts her head so she's looking up at me. "What else happened that night?"
"We just ended up slaying for a while and walking around. I learned what a small town Sunnydale really is when we somehow ended up back at my motel room. I was pretty ashamed to let her know I was staying there, much less let her in my room but she insisted that she come in. I'm still not sure why, because that first night we met I got the impression that she didn't like me too much."
"She did. I remember her telling me about it. I think she was just cautious, that was generally her way. But I know she had a crush on you right from the start, she just wasn't sure of what exactly it was."
"Well, whatever it was, I figured that by the time she saw where I was staying she'd think I was trash and want nothing to do with me. But actually that night I ended up introducing her to my video games. Can you believe she didn't know what a Playstation was? Then she threw the biggest fit over the fact that even though the main character in the game I was playing was a guy, I named him Faith. Actually, that video game became quite and important thing in getting our relationship started."
"How so?" Dawn asked through a yawn.
"Later kiddo. You should get some sleep. It's late."
I sit there as she gets up and heads off to bed after giving me a small hug and pick my notebook up. A whole book that's going to be filled with mine and B's relationship. Somehow, I've got to bring her back.
Dedication: To all my FB'ers... Sorry I don't respond to you all individually, but I'm sure you'd get bored of me clogging your inbox to tell 20 different people 'thank you' in the most originial way I can, which is still usually pretty lame by the time I'm done. But I do appreciate it. And to the one person who's changed my life, for better, and for worse, back to better, back to worse, back to better and so on. It's one hell of a ride, but I'd never change it for anything. I love you.
Tonight turned out to be just like any other. A little after midnight Tara and Red got home and headed straight to bed with nothing more than a mumbled 'goodnight' from both of them. I can't blame them. I think they just go out every night to exhaust themselves, as a way to find their release, their escape from everything. We're all looking for something to help us get though the day.
After knowing that they were safely back home, I went upstairs to check on Dawn, which is also another constant. I notice that tonight, much like other nights, she's tossing and turning, trapped inside the hell that her dreams have become since losing her family.
Instinctively I move to lay on her bed next to her and smooth her hair down, wiping off the small beads of sweat that have accumulated on her forehead. "Hey D, shh, it's okay," I whisper, hoping my voice can penetrate deep enough into her subconscious to calm her down a bit.
She doesn't wake thankfully but does wrap her arms around me, confining me to her bed for the night and I let out another sigh. It's going to be another long night. It's not that I mind really, I promised B that if anything ever did happen to her I'd take care of Dawn as best as I could. But the problem is, if I close my eyes, I can imagine it's B. I can fall asleep, thinking B's in my arms again. Then when morning comes, my world just shatters all over again.
So instead I let my mind wander back to the past. To a place it seems to constantly be in lately and scrutinize every detail of the last few years. I end up thinking about the first time I tried to surprise B. It turned out to be quite a mess. It was highly amusing though. Laughing quietly at the memory I realize it's something I should write down and I begin the long painstaking process of trying to snake my way out of Dawn's arms without actually waking her up. Generally, I'm not too successful but after about a twenty minute struggle, I finally managed to do it this time.
Heading down to the kitchen I start myself a pot of coffee, trying to remember when it was I even started drinking that crap. Shrugging, I sit down at the table and open my notebook, which now seems to accompany me pretty much everywhere I go and grab a pen to start writing.
My first trip to Sunnydale High turned out to be quite a disaster. It was about a week after I met B that they had their first 'Scooby' meeting there, which they explained to me was their time to discuss the undead activity in town. By this time I had spent the last few nights out slaying with B and realized that my attraction to her wasn't going anywhere. Actually, my attraction to her was starting to turn into something a bit deeper, more real than me just wanting to fuck her.
So I spent the entire morning doing one of those cheesy things to hint at how I was feeling. I didn't figure she'd take to it very well, but I'm the kinda girl who'd rather take a chance then never know what could've been. Besides, B was kinda slow at certain things, so I figured it'd take her a while to even catch on to what was going on.
So I stroll into the school, feeling cocky as hell with my tightest pair of leathers on and a mix tape in my hand ready to start this thing off right. But then I realized something. I wasn't planning on giving the tape, along with some little note I wrote, directly to B. I didn't want to be too obvious about it all.
Well, as it turns out you don't always get what you want. I had found some random kid in the hall and asked him if he knew who B was. Well, from what he said, the whole school knew her. After probing a few kids, I found out which locker belonged to her and I was all set to go. Or so I thought.
I never realized that they had teachers walking around the hall when class was supposed to be in session to make sure kids weren't cutting class or anything. So when I got caught trying to pick B's locker in the middle of second period, I was in a bit of trouble.
The lady actually dragged me to the office demanding that I tell her why I was out of class without a pass. I tried telling them that I didn't even go to school there, and that I was just trying to get something back from a friend, but they didn't believe me. It turned out to be this huge hassle, and then they found out it was B's locker I was messing with so they actually called her to the office to verify my story.
Well, I was pretty damn embarrassed about the whole thing, and the whole gang even ended up finding out about it, B finally got her mix tape, complete with cheesy note and all. I think it had said something like: Hey B. You say I need to learn to open up so now I am. So today I made you a mix tape to show exactly how I feel inside, and I hope you feel it too. -F
Told you it was cheesy. But it worked... after a while of course. B was hetero girl to the core when I met her, so it took her a while to even figure out that it was okay to act normal around me despite how I felt, and how she apparently didn't feel. But at least that wasn't how things stayed, though at the time, neither of us could know that.
I put my pen down to rub my eyes as I notice the first bit of sunlight floating in through the windows. I guess I'd been writing longer than I thought. Either writing goes slow when you're stopping to visualize everything again, or else time flies when you remember the good days, when life was happy. I guess that's how it goes though. You never stop to cherish all the good, because you expect it all to still be there the next day. Then when you suddenly lose it, you realize how fast it all went by, and how slow you wish you would've gone.
Realizing that my coffee long ago went cold I pour the remainder of it down the sink, step outside and take a seat on the porch to watch the sunrise. It was always something B and I loved to do together since it always had such a great significance to us as slayers. We used to joke and make bets on how many vamps didn't make it back in before sunrise, and then later that night when we patrolled we would actually count the dust piles of the ones that didn't make it. Who ever was closest had to do any one thing the other wanted them to. We had always tried our best to find joy in the smallest things we could, just to keep our minds off the impending doom of the world for a while.
"Mind if I join you?" Dawn's sleepy voice calls out as she comes to sit next to me.
"What are you doing up so early kiddo? And why are you out here in your pajamas?" I ask as she rests her head on my shoulder.
"More bad dreams. They woke me up and I saw the front door open so I figured you were awake and I might as well join you."
"I'm sorry I wasn't there this time," I whisper.
"Don't be. It's not your job to sit and watch me sleep every night. To be there every time I have a bad dream, or a bad thought. I'm a big girl Faith, I can handle it."
"I know you can handle it D, but I don't want you to have to handle it. I promised B, and myself, that'd I'd take care of you and protect you. And that's a promise I intend to keep until I die."
She just gives me a sad smile, the kind that almost breaks my heart all over again, and hugs me before thankfully changing the subject. "So you want to finish that story you were telling me now?"
"Story?" I question, wondering just when I became a storyteller. Do I look like Mother Goose or something?
"About the video game. How it got you and Buffy together or whatever. Come on, you can't skimp out on me now."
"Oh, that huh?" I ramble absently as I stare into the sunrise, willing my eyes to stay open to the bright light. "Well it was about a few weeks after she found out how I felt about her. And by this time we had a pretty routine slaying schedule going. Five nights out of the week we'd slay together, one night she was on her own, one night I was on my own, so that way we'd each get a night off. Sometimes after she went slaying she'd stop by the motel to unwind a bit before going home. You wouldn't believe the adrenaline kick we got from slaying."
I pause to look at Dawn to make sure she's still paying attention to me and once I realize she is I go back to my story. "So she showed up at like, one in the morning or some absurd hour and I was in the middle of beating the game I started when I got to town. B never really understood the video game thing, but sometimes she'd get into it and try to help me figure out what I was doing. And since she would come over and help me with it sometimes, I named the other main character of the game after her.
"So when it was over, and the hero, whom I named after me, finally got his girl, who was B, she was like 'Hey Faith, look, we're kissing!' She actually seemed excited about it though, and before I knew what I was doing, I was really kissing her. I guess I just couldn't hold back any longer. At first I don't think she knew whether or not she should kiss me back, but eventually she did. And then, it was all history after that you could say. We became an us, and we fell in love."
"All because of a video game? You so gotta get me one of those things if that's how they work."
"You have issues kid," I tease as I muss her hair and stand up. "Come on, I'll make you breakfast."
"Great, there goes the house now. Haven't I lost enough already?" she shakes her head as I give her my hand to help her up.
"Funny. Just for that you get to do the dishes," I smirk. Okay, I do have to say there are definitely some perks to this being in charge business.
Dedications: To my FB'ers of course. I love you all! And to Jennifer. It was a pain in the ass to get your name from you, but you taught me that persistance pays off! It was well worth the effort. *smirks*
"This really is quite excellent work Faith. You may be no Shakespeare as you put it before, but you're a very talented writer. However..." Giles trails off as I watch him pull his glasses off to polish them. I wonder if that ever does any good. He must do it about a hundred times a day.
"However what? Look, if you're gonna crap on my for my bad handwriting, don't bother. It's not going to change."
"No, it's nothing like that Faith. But you did say you took this project on to see if you can't come up with some sort of memory to spark an idea of how to bring Buffy back, correct?"
"Yeah, so?" Now I wonder why I even bothered to show this to him in the first place.
"Well, for that to happen you're going to have to go about this differently. I know it may be nice to recall how you met, how you got together and everything. It's just that... How is any of that going to do you any good? If you want to find a way to bring her back, you're going to have to write about the other important things. The fights, the slaying, the hard times, and the people you met. It's a beautiful story, but I simply can't see how it's going to help you."
"But I don't know how to do all that. I don't have a million years to finish this damn thing."
"Then don't write out every detail of it. Just think of the key points. The major battles, your enemies, your friends. All of them. Talk to Angel and Cordelia. Maybe they can help. Or Willow and Tara. No matter how much you love her, it's simply not enough to bring her back. You can't do that on your own. You might not be able to do it at all. And that's a reality I think you need to face."
"That's bullshit and I'll never accept that! I can, and I will bring her back. I don't care if I have to fight the Devil or God himself. Either she comes back to me, or I'm going to her. "
"Yes, well," he mumbles as he walks off. What the hell was that about?
He walks behind the counter and makes a phone call and I can tell he's trying to be all hush hush about it so I figure he's just ditched me to get back to work or something. Might as well get back home and see what Dawn wants me to get her for dinner. I really need to get some new sort of routine to my life. Doing nothing but playing mom, hanging out with Giles and slaying is starting to get really old.
I take the long way home, glad to have the peacefulness of being able to enjoy a walk through town without it being interrupted by vamps. Who knew the sun was such a great thing? Sure, if you're in the right spot it keeps you warm, but I'd much rather it keep the vamps away than the cold.
B and I would always go for walks right after the sun came up. We'd watch the sunrise together, usually from her front porch, and then go for a walk. It was really neat, though I always acted like I just did it for her since she liked it so much. But when you're out so early, when everyone's locked up in their houses, it really does feel as if you’re the only two people in the world. It's almost like a power trip, feeling the freedom and potential of it all.
My walk ends much too soon as I find myself standing outside of the house, my house. I'm still not used to that I suppose. Given, I've lived here for over two years, but I never had a real home before. Just a shoddy motel room or some cracked out apartment I had to share with my mother. But in this one house I've made more memories, happy and otherwise, than I can recall ever making in my life.
"Are you going to stand out there all day or what?" I hear a shy voice asking, bringing my back to reality. I seem to zone out a lot these days.
"You never know, it might be best if I stayed out here." I watch as Tara sits down on the porch, giving me a quizzical look. I laugh softly and move to sit beside her. "If I stayed out here, I could make sure nothing bad got in. Then I wouldn't have to lose anyone else I love," I conclude sadly. I know it's not the best theory in the world considering that I can't very well lock everyone that I care about in the house and stand guard all the time. But I think it's a nice thought.
"You could do that, but you know we have a protection spell on the house, so you might just be wasting your energy," she laughs softly. It's weird, but now that B's gone, I almost feel as if Tara is my best friend. Not that anyone could ever in a million years take B's place, but Tara just seems to get me. And she never pushes. I like that. "So tell me, what’s bothering you space cadet?"
"What makes you think that there's something wrong?" I shoot back, arching an eyebrow in her general direction.
"Because it's you, and no matter how good things are going, there's always something wrong," she laughs.
"That’s a very big assumption to be making isn't it?" I tease, enjoying a conversation that takes me out of my place in reality for even the shortest bit of time.
"Not really. I think I know you too well, and by knowing you, I know you think all the time. So no matter how perfect your life is, in your head your always doubting it, so even when things are good they're bad for you. Which means there's always something wrong, because you're always doubting. And I think I'm starting to channel Willow here. Did that at least make sense?"
I squint my eyes and nod my head slowly, chewing on what she just said trying to make some sense of it. I think I got what she said, but I really have no clue. "Sure it did Blondie," I say, too worn out to try and understand that better than I did.
"Good. So now tell me what's wrong," she demands. Damn, she really is channeling Red because now she's got the resolve face and all. This sucks.
"Giles doesn't think I should waste me time trying to bring B back. He doesn't think that I can do it," I sigh, placing my head in my hands.
"Did he say that to you?" she asks, placing her hand on my back, offering some sort of comfort.
"Well he said I might not be able to do it. And that it was a reality I need to face or some shit. Like he doesn't believe in me anymore."
Her hand on my back turns into her arm being around me, hugging me close to her. Now, she might be the best friend I have at the moment, but this care and share crap is still not something I can easily do. But since I know she's just trying to be friendly I relax as much as I can. "I'm sure he doesn't mean it that way. Try to think of it from his point of view. He's lost someone who's like a daughter to him. Now he has to watch someone he sees as his other daughter suffering. He just doesn't want to see you get your heart broken again Faith. And I'm sure that like Dawn, he doesn't want himself to get that false hope just to be let down."
"He thinks I'm going to let him down?" I ask softly, lifting my head to look at her.
"No, it's nothing like that Faith. It's death. How does anyone, super powers or not, reverse that?"
"I guess I see your point. But, if it were Red, wouldn't you at least give it all you had? Isn't it worth trying for?"
"You know it is. Now come on, I know you've got to be hungry."
"Yes, because you just know me so well and all right Blondie?" I laugh as I pull her up to her feet and head into the house with her.
"You know I do," she smiles at me as she wraps her arm around my waist. I don't say anything more; she does have a point that I can't argue with after all.
"Hey Faith, wake up already," I can barely here the voice penetrating into my subconsciousness. Slowly I open my eyes and immediately reach my hand up to block the light.
"Dawn? What do you want?" I ask grumpily. One thing I'd never advice doing is waking me up. It's a rare occasion that I actually get to sleep in, and when I do, I damn well better be left undisturbed.
"Come on, you've been sleeping since after dinner last night. You can't possibly still be tired," she wines as she tugs on my arm.
"So, what do you care anyways?" I grumble as I sit up.
"Someone's here to see you. So get up already," she says with an innocent smile that I don't quite trust.
"Who's here?" I question, letting her pull me out of bed.
"You'll see," she grins. "Just get dressed and come downstairs." I watch as she practically bounces out of the room. What the hell is she up to now?
Not knowing who's waiting for me I change into some less revealing clothes, or at least as less revealing as my clothes can get. I make a quick stop at the bathroom to freshen up before heading down the stairs to hear the sound of laughter coming from the kitchen. That's a very rare sound these days.
Slowly I head into the kitchen, stopping dead in my tracks as I see who's sitting at the table with everyone. "Hey big guy," I smile widely, my grumpiness swiftly fading. "What brings you down here?"
"Well I heard I was supposed to come talk some sense into you," he says softly as he stands up to give me a hug.
"So you’re the one G-man called yesterday huh? I was wondering why he was being all hush hush with it. You bring Queen Bitch-A-Lot with you?"
"She couldn't make it. I was going to bring her but she had another vision last night so Kate insisted that she stay home and rest."
"Kate huh? Her and Queen C getting it on yet?" I grin, watching in pleasure as Angel's face becomes flushed.
"I...I don't… Well, you see," he stutters and I laugh, hitting him softly on his arm.
"Is it a yes or a no? Because judging by your incompetent stuttering, I'm gonna assume yes." He just nods his head to let me know my assumption is right and I can't help but laugh.
Then out of nowhere, I get the craziest idea. It's like everything just suddenly clicks and I know exactly what to do to bring B back. Okay, so not exactly what to do, but how to do it. Great, now I'm not even making sense in my head. "Faith?"
"Oh yeah, sorry. Zoned out again. It happens a lot lately. Tell me, Cordy got her visions from The Powers That Be right?" Angel nods his confirmation again. I notice that everyone's staring at me, and I can't blame them for wanting to know where I'm going with this. "Well they pretty much have control over everything right? Hell, they might as well be God! Don't you get it? It makes so much sense."
"Faith, I think you lost all of us," Willow interrupts my babble as she puts some dishes in the sink.
"They can bring her back. I can get them to bring her back!" Everyone just looks at me, like they can't believe I'm actually thinking this. Well, everyone but Angel, who's just got that 'now I know why Giles called me' look on. "You all think I'm nuts don't you?" I ask incredulously.
"It's not nuts. We just don't understand how you plan to do that?" Tara asks, probing for further explanation.
"Simple. The PTB likes to make sure everything runs smoothly right? That's why they gave C those visions. So she can help keep things safe and smooth. Well they just lost their best slayer. That's gotta hurt them right? Well what if I just go on strike? It's simple. Bring B back, or the end of the world. I think it's a fair trade."
"What makes you think they'll go for that? They know better than that. You're not going to let the world go to shit, because you're still going to protect all of us."
"Maybe, maybe not. I always was best at being a troublemaker. And I will fight them with everything I have until they bring my B back to me. It's a simple plan, don't you think?"
They're all still staring at me and I'm really starting to wonder if I've just gone nuts or look really bad in the mornings. "You've lost it Faith," Dawn mumbles as she walks out of the kitchen.
I let out a long sigh as I sit down at the table, resting my head flat on the surface of it. "Just humor me, at least give me that." I lift my head back up to look each of them in the eye, one by one as I speak slowly. "If it were the person you loved, you know you'd do it too. Please, just help me. If this plan doesn't work, I'll admit defeat. But I can't let her go without trying."
I smile when the three of them nod, feeling alive again for the first time in so long. I knew they'd come through for me, they always have.
"Can I make just one request before we start all of this though?" Willow asks meekly as she sits down on Tara's lap. "Can we find a different way to get them to bring her back? Not that it's not a good idea or anything, but it's just that I'm kind of fond of the world. Especially since I get to live in it. Living is good and if you stopped slaying, well we might not live and that would be bad."
"I get the point Red," I laugh, holding my hand up to stop her. No end of the world threats. I can deal with that. I'm going to bring my B back finally. Hell fuckin' yeah.
...to be continued...