Krazi
by Schismatic Faith
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Buffy and Faith not mine.
Spoilers: None.
Author's Notes: It's not betaed, so don't get all english professor on me.
This is my POV by the way.
Feedback: Much appreciated.
Faith looked longingly at the other slayer, imagining the feel of..
No, no that’s not right. Damn it. I hate writing fic in the wee hours of the morning. But what can I do? When I've got a writing itch I've got to scratch. God I need more self control. No, I need more sugar. I grab for my fourth can of soda pop and swallow it down. Back to work.. Faith doesn’t look longingly, not Faith, not Faith at all.
“You’re damn right it's not.” I practically jump out of my chair. I look down from the screen at the keyboard to see- Faith?
“What the Hell?” I’m looking around the room trying to see if anyone’s pulling a trick on me. Too much sugar, yeah that’s it. Imagining things. Or maybe I’ve gone crazy. That’s not so far-fetched. I check again, yep, I’ve gone crazy.
There’s a three inch little vixen clad in black leather standing on the side of my keyboard with her hands on her hips staring straight at me. Damn.
“I would never do something like that. Longingly? God, that's so lame.” She turns around and looks up at the screen, thinks for a while and turns back to me. “God, I sound like B” she says in disgust. “Give that line to her.” I stare at her frozen, “Go on!” Okay, I’m being pushed around by Faith, but no, not just a normal Faith, a mini-Faith. I can’t even be crazy right. I shrunk her in this demented mind of mine, but she still looks hot, shoot. Damn it! I’m insane. Oh what the hell, I start typing anyway. Good going Faith, taking advice from a midget in leather. She glares at me, “Hey, I heard that! I’m not a midget. Get to typing.” Great, she’s in my head. Just do what she says, maybe she’ll go away. Yeah that’s it.
Buffy looked longingly at the other slayer, imagining-
“Wait, wait.” I look down to see a grinning mini-Faith say, “Make sure she’s checking out my rack.”
“Oh please!” Wha- no! There’s two of them! Buffy hops off from where she’s been sitting at the edge of my desk onto the keyboard. “Like I would check out your rack.” She looks at me expectantly, but is met with a blank face. “Oh come on, you’re not gonna write that are you?” She walks up facing Faith, pulls out the low cut tank top the brunette has on and sneaks a peek. “Like there’s much to check out anyway.”
I am completely, utterly insane. Yes I am. That’s me, Insane Faith. I’ve got a mini Faith and Buffy on my keyboard telling me how to write.
“I don’t remember you complaining last night.” Faith replies with a grin, pushing her bra up. “I think your exact words were,” Mini-Faith starts a rendition of Buffy, hands through her hair, waving her body around seductively and screams, “‘Oh, Faith, god yes! Faith!’” I look over at Buffy, her cheeks bright red and her mouth hanging open. She gives me an incredulous face.
“You’re not going to believe her are you?” I look back and forth between the two, both eyeing me. What do they want? Why won't they leave me alone! Buffy taps my hand getting my attention, “You’re going to take her side?” she hollers at the top of her lungs.
“Geez, B, chill. Of course she is. Me and Faith have a bond ya know.” Mini-Faith says hopping onto my hand. “We got a connection.”
“Oh please, Faith has more in common with me than you,” she looks up at me with a Buffy smile, “right Faith?”
"I- umm-" I manage to croak out. I’m crazy. I’m sitting here talking to, well myself. They’re not real, they’re not!
“Hellooo, Faith to Faith, anyone in there?” Mini-Faith mockingly knocks on my hand. This is some weird dream. Or we can always go back to the 'I’m crazy' theory.
“Faith, honey, are you okay?” Buffy touches my hand softly, drawing my attention towards her.
“Hey!” Faith yells, “Stop trying to suck up.”
“I am not.”
“You just want a part in the story.”
“Hello, it’s a Buffy and Faith story.”
“Well.. you want a good part.”
“I already have all the good parts.” Faith thinks awhile, then frowns back up at me.
“Hey, she’s right! How come I’m always the one chasing her?”
“Cause you love me so much.”
“Oh get over yourself, B.” I can’t stand in anymore, I want to scream.
“Stop it, both of you!” They stare at me in disbelief.
“She started it!” Faith says turning away, not so slyly sticking her tongue in Buffy’s direction.
“Did you see what she just did?” Buffy looks at me, “And you’re going to believe her over me?”
I think about it a while and turn to look at Faith, “She does have a point. Buffy’s well, you know her, all goodie, all the time, and you're well.. not.” She looks at me all hurt.
“You don’t believe me?” I almost see tears forming in her eyes, “B-but I’m Faith, and-and you’re Faith, and she’s not, she’s Buffy. You’re supposed to be on my side.” Her lower lip quivers a bit before she burst into tears on my hand.
Damn it. I feel sorry for her, “Aww, Faith, i'ts okay, I believe you. Don’t- hey! What are you trying to pull?”
She looks up at me, trying desperately to bat her eyes. Buffy steps up behind her and kicks her foot, “Take some acting classes will you?”
“Oww, what the hell do you think you’re doing Blondie?” Faith screams and lunges at Buffy. They fall on the keyword and start rolling around fighting. I look up at my screen, at the jumbled mess of letters and numbers.
“Hey, stop that. You’re messing up the story!” They freeze, stand up and dust themselves off. “What do you guys want from me?!”
“We wanna help.” Buffy bounces joyfully clapping her hands together.
“Oh, Grow up, B.” Faith jumps off the keyboard onto the desk. And sits down in front of the screen. Buffy joins her a minute later.
“Fine, but keep quiet and stop fighting.” I sigh, okay back to the story. I start typing again, but before I can get a full sentence in, I look down to see that Buffy has Faith in an ankle lock, while Faith bangs on the table. I sigh again, “If you two don’t stop that I’m not going to write anymore.” They look at me, mouths open. That got their attention.
“You wouldn’t, would you Faith?” Buffy asks all innocent, decked in a smile.
“I would, now give each other a hug and let me finish this.” They step closer, slowly like they’re afraid to touch each other. They finally hug and look happy. Turning my gaze from them I gloss over what I just wrote. All of a sudden tiny clothes start flying across the screen. I look down, eyes wide. “Hey! I’m trying to keep this PG, alright.” They smile at me sheepishly, and scatter around, gathering their clothes, and sit back down in front of the screen cuddling.
God my head hurts.