Revelations
by Sileas
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Of all these wonderful characters, the only one that I created is Jake. All others are property of Joss Wheldon and Mutant Enemy.
Feedback: Yes please. This is the first fanfic of any kind that I’ve done, so if there’s anything that I need to work on, I would like to know.
*Knock, knock, knock*
A knock at the door took Faith out of what had been over an hour of self loathing and world loathing. She looked up, and with surprise, noticed that nothing had been thrown around the room. She’d always thrown things at times like this, or gone out to stake some vamps, but nothing really seemed to matter any more, and she was tired.
“What do you want now?” she yelled at the door. “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”
“Faith, I just wanted to talk,” came a familiar voice from the other side of the door. “Can I come in?”
“B?” She was surprised, she didn’t expect B to be the one there; but then again, who else would it have been?
She got up to head for the door; she was a bit disheveled still, she hadn’t showered or changed since that night’s battle. She cringed as she thought of everything that had happened the last couple of days; she had been so incredibly stupid. And now Buffy was outside her door. Buffy was her opposite, everything Faith wasn’t and wished she was; and yet they were so different, they shared the same destiny. There was just something about that; she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.
“Hey B!” she opened the door, putting on a false smile; she was used to that, she’d done it so often. And besides, no use worrying B, right? “How’s your arm, I think I twisted it pretty bad.”
“Ah, you know, I heal fast. You got a nice shiner yourself,” she said, touching the darkening skin beneath Faith’s eye. Faith flinched, not really because of the pain, she was used to pain; but more because of the sensation of Buffy’s hand touching her so tenderly, she wasn’t expecting that. Thinking that she was causing Faith pain, Buffy quickly removed her hand, she’d caused her enough pain today. “I’m sorry, that was me wasn’t it?”
“It’s cool B! You know, quick healer. Five by five,” Faith smiled again, then turned around, her arm extended out into her hotel room. “Welcome to my home. Come in, make yourself comfortable. There’s the bed, the tv, the sofa; and that concludes the tour.”
“You seem rather perky Faith, you doin’ ok?”
“The cover really that obvious, huh?” Buffy nodded and smiled weakly. Faith slumped down on the bed and laid back, her legs hanging off the edge. Buffy was still standing in the doorway. “Come in B. Shut the down, and sit down,” she patted the bed next to her, “and make yourself comfortable. You’re gonna have to be if you really wanna know what’s wrong, you could be here all night.”
Faith had always thought that Buffy would be the only one in this world that would understand her, now it was time to test this theory.
“Ok,” Buffy responded. She sat down on the bed next to Faith, “spill.”
She sat up and turned to face Buffy, crossing her legs. “My life’s never really been all peaches and fluffy bunnies, ya know. I mean, I guessing your pre-Slayer life was pretty good—all Miss Popular, two parents, nice house, and everything. I’ve only ever had my mom; she dated off and on, but never really anything long term. We didn’t have much money, but we got by. Then there’s the fact that my mom would drink the world away whenever it got too hard, and that didn’t help me much. And I did go to school, unlike the popular belief around here.” Buffy opened her mouth to protest, but Faith put her hand up. “But whatever happened, I was always carefree, always no worries gal.
“Then a year before I became Slayer, my Watcher found me. They were able to find me before I was called to train me. For the first time in my life, I had a father figure, and for the first time, I had something to look forward to in life, ya know B. I started doing well in school for like the first time in my life, I had a boyfriend, and I started caring about things.
“But then I was called, and a few months later Kakistos came, and he killed everyone I had come to care about. Everyone who cared about me was dead, and I come here and see you with all these people who care about you. All the regrets were just too much. I had all these people who believed in me, and when it came down to it, I couldn’t protect them. So I tried to become one of you guys, went back to carefree me, I was never hurt when I didn’t care about anyone. Then that bitch comes along and I think that someone cares about me again. But I was so stupid, and look how that turned out. I feel like the whole Goddamn world wants to fuck me over.”
“Kinda poetic justice, isn’t it?” Buffy said with a smirk.
“You know what, B? Fuck off!” Faith yelled. “I thought you’d understand, maybe even care. But you’re just like everybody else. You don’t understand Jack shit about-“
She was stopped abruptly, mid sentence as the lips of the Slayer in front of her met her own. Buffy held on to her for about twenty seconds, hands on either side of Faith’s face, before she pulled away. Faith’s eyes looked like they were going to pop out of her face; that had caught her off guard, not that she hadn’t liked it, but it certainly surprised her.
“Damn, that was nice,” Buffy commented, looking into Faith’s eyes. Faith couldn’t say a thing, she just stared at Buffy, slightly in shock. “Are you ok? Was that ok? God, I knew I shouldn’t have done anything, I was being stupid.”
Faith finally got her voice back; she had to stop Buffy from having a Willow moment. “No, it was fine. I mean, it was nice, I liked it. It’s just… I always thought you just went for vamps-I mean-men.”
“Hey, that wasn’t fair!”
“Sorry.”
“Do you know how long I’ve been wanting to do that?” Buffy questioned, looking back into Faith’s now normal sized eyes, who shook her head. “Since that day in the library when I overheard you telling the others about wrestling that crocodile.”
“Alligator,” Faith corrected.
“Whatever,” Buffy said before leaning over for another, more passionate, more drawn out kiss.
After they pulled away, though reluctantly, for some much needed oxygen, Buffy continued the conversation.
“So, you had a boyfriend, huh? I’ve never thought of you as the long-term-boyfriend kind of person, but more of the boy-toy kind.”
“See, that’s what I mean with the whole, passing-judgment-not-looking-deeper thing,” Faith countered. “But yes, I did have a boyfriend. His name was Jake, but we all called him El Diablo. Before him, I was kinda like I am now. We went out for about seven months.”
“Faith and the Devil, well that’s kinda ironic, isn’t it,” Buffy commented thoughtfully. “But, there you go, I know tons more about you already. But I still don’t understand, what happened?”
“We broke up; well, he broke up with me actually. He said that he didn’t know what it was that I did that took up all my time, but he said that I didn’t have time for him. It was really hard, when he left; I just wished that I was never called. But it was all for the best: a week later Kakistos showed up and killed my Watcher,” she shrugged. “And you know the rest.”
“I’m sorry Faith; that’s horrible,” Buffy said, she was truly sorry, but she still didn’t quite get Faith. What could happen that could make a person change so completely. “But on the plus side, at least he didn’t turn into a killing machine the first night you slept with him and try to destroy the world.”
“Yeah, right,” Faith forced out a soft chuckle. She realized that Buffy probably wasn’t very fond of talking about her relationship with Angel; but she had to give the girl kudos for trying to cheer her up.
After a few minutes of awkward silence, Buffy began feeling uncomfortable. She got up and picked up her stuff, then turned to Faith before heading out the door. “I-I should probably go. My mom will get worried, you know how mom’s get,” she forced a laugh and turned; but stopped again. “I wasn’t lying, what I said about the kiss. It’s just, this is all kinda new to me; I’ve never liked girls before, but then I saw you. It’s just a lot to deal with. I like you, I really do; it’s just, you know.”
Buffy turned to go again and started turning the door knob when Faith burst out, “do you wanna go out sometime? Maybe not a date, I don’t know, but do something other than just patrol?”
“Sure,” Buffy responded and Faith gave a sigh of relief. “The gang’s going to the Bronze tomorrow night, if you wanna come with?”
“Sure, that’d be wonderful.” Definitely wasn’t a date, but it could be fun. “Eight?”
“You bet, see ya there. Night Faith.”
“Later, B!”
And she was out the door. Faith got up as the door closed behind Buffy and watched her from the window as she walked away. Faith had it bad for the other Slayer and she tried to take her self away from the window, but she couldn’t help but watch Buffy as her neighbor stopped her. Trying to pick her up, Faith supposed as she watched Buffy shake then nod her head and laugh as she walked on.
Faith went back to her bed and started to pound her pillow flat, then finally threw it across the room where it hit the door with a thud.
“She still doesn’t understand,” Faith shouted. “Why doesn’t she understand?”
Duh Faith, she beat herself up. You haven’t told her the truth yet. How can she understand what happened if you don’t tell her what happened?
“Ah Faith, what are you gonna do with yourself?” Faith questioned herself as she slumped onto her bed and closed her eyes. So she said she liked the kiss, she even said that she liked me; but she’s never been in a relationship with a girl before. Other than Angel, Buffy had only ever had little school girl crushes, and a relationship with Faith was not something to be taken lightly. I bet that girl has no idea what she’s getting herself into by getting involved with me.
Oh well, those were thoughts that could be dealt with later. Now was time for a shower and then sleep.
“Hey Faith, over here!” Buffy called out as she saw Faith enter the Bronze. Faith looked around to find a body to go with Buffy’s voice, and found her at a table at the edge of the dance floor with the rest of the Scoobies. She waved and made her way through the crowded dance floor to the table.
As Faith neared the group, Buffy realized that they were a chair short. She looked around for another one, but none were in sight; so she slid over to show that she was willing to share her seat with Faith.
“Don’t worry B,” Faith smiled as she walked up to the table and saw Buffy search for a chair. “We won’t be sitting much anyways, I’ve got lots of pent up energy to let out. And if I don’t get to dust vamps, well dancing’s the next best thing. Well, it’s up there anyway,” she added with a grin when she realized that no one at that table would believe that dancing was her second favorite activity.
When no one jumped up to join her or even looked thrilled at the prospect of a night of hard dancing, she was thoroughly disappointed. She should’ve known, the Scooby Gang wasn’t exactly the most thrilling bunch. It occurred to her that if they had gone to school together last year, Faith would probably never have even noticed them. Red was a nerd, Xander was a freak of nature, and Cordy was Miss Popular. And other than the fact that they shared an unusual destiny, Buffy and Faith weren’t the kind of people you saw hanging together. She might have become friends with Oz, as he was part of a band and she was big on the whole band thing. Faith had basically been a loner all of her life except for a small group of friends, and the group she now stood in front of was completely different from them.
“Oh, c’mon guys,” Faith said impatiently. “You can’t tell me that you come here all the time and always just sit here at this table, drinking your Shirley Temples, and listen to the music. You gotta get up and dance. Have some fun, live a little.”
“Hey! We don’t always just sit here and do nothing,” Willow shot back, offended by Faith’s comment. But then she looked at the others, who were staying quiet. “Ok, so maybe we do. It doesn’t mean we don’t know how to have fun.”
“Yes, spending our nights reading up on the latest demon, loads of fun there,” Xander laughed, then stopped when he saw the just-shut-up-and-sit-still look on Willow’s face.
“Ok Red. If you like to have fun, then come dance with me. I’m sure I could show you some fun,” Faith smirked and offered a hand to the now even shier than ever red head sitting before her.
“I-I don’t really do the whole dancing thing. You know, two left feet. I’m the person who can trip and fall on my face while standing still; you don’t want me dancing,” Willow rambled. “I’m sure Cordy would love to join you though, she loves dancing.”
“Oh, thanks for volunteering me for Freak Fest ’98, Willow,” Cordelia lashed out, looking daggers at Willow. “I like dancing, but not like that. Besides, you people do enough to ruin my image; I can’t be seen dancing with Goth chic here. Being surrounded by pale, slutty people wearing black leather does nothing for my complexion.”
“Oh shut up, Cordelia. Your whole bitch complex is really getting to me.” Buffy got out of her seat and walked over to Faith. “I’ll dance with you. I did kind of invite you here after all. I need to talk to you first.”
Buffy motioned to an empty corner that was far enough away from the stage to be able to talk, and Faith followed after her.
“I’m sorry about that,” Buffy started as they got away from the others. “I didn’t realize they were going to be all bitchy like that; though Cordy is the Queen of Bitch, so I should have just assumed she’d say something like that. They’re usually all about the ‘forgive and forget’ thing, but I guess the whole part where we were trying to kill each other is kind of sticking with them.”
“No problem, five by five!” Faith smiled. “They aren’t exactly the kind of people I hang with, and I’m not the kind of person they usually hang with. We just have to get used to being together without ripping each others’ throats out.”
“Cool, now that’s settled. Dance?”
“Sure, let’s see if you can keep up. I dance hard you know.”
“Oh, I’m up for a challenge.”
And without another word, Faith swept Buffy over to the dance floor to show her just how a Slayer should spend her nights off; well, one possibility anyway. As they passed by their table, Faith cocked her head and gave the others a sweet smile.
This, of course, got Willow all huffy. “Who does she think she is? Come prancing in here all ‘oh, I’m a Slayer’, and think that that makes her better than us.”
“Well, she is kinda more helpful than us,” Xander pointed out.
“Not helping the cause, Xander.”
“Sorry.”
“Maybe we should give her a chance,” Oz came in. “You know, accept her into our group. She could just need people to open up to her. I mean, she’s had a horrible past; watching her Watcher die, that’s gotta do things to you.”
“Maybe you’re right; maybe we should give her a chance. But she’s so different than us,” Willow said, watching the Slayers dance. “She’s so wild.”
“Why did Buffy invite her here anyways?” Cordelia interrupted their moment of contemplation.
They just shrugged and turned back to their drinks, keeping their eyes on their friend on the dance floor. It had become very difficult to watch the two Slayers, however, as anyone who had been dancing had stopped and gathered around the girls dancing.
Faith hadn’t lied when she had told Buffy that she danced hard. Buffy had never danced like this before, but she wasn’t about to give up; she wouldn’t let Faith win so easily. Her adrenaline was pumping so hard and the music was throbbing in her ears. It wasn’t really even music any more; it was like the lights and the movement and the music and the yelling of those around them were all blurred together and became part of the energy that was flowing through her. And at the same time it all seemed to be some vague, far off thing in the background and that the only things really there were her and Faith; everything else just drifted away. It was like everything was a part of them, but separate all at once. She looked at Faith and realized that she was feeling the same thing; but of course, Faith probably did this kind of thing all the time.
Then the song was over and Faith was pulling her way towards the bar. “Need a breather, and a drink,” Faith said breathlessly. “You want something B?”
“Yeah, sure. A water’s fine.”
They grabbed their waters and sat down at the bar.
“Having fun yet?” Faith questioned Buffy as she turned to face her, taking a swig of water. “You kept up pretty good, most people don’t last that long.”
“That was amazing; I’ve never felt like that before.”
“Yeah, you have,” Faith said, but was answered by a blank questioning look from Buffy. “It happens when we slay, just us and the vamp; it’s just not as intense. There’s not as much going on around you, so you don’t notice it. But it happens. You just have to be aware of everything.”
“So this is why you get such a thrill out of slaying?”
“Well, yeah, basically. That and it makes me horny as hell,” Faith added, taking in Buffy’s expression; it was a mix of being startled and turned on. “There’s nothing like having total control over a life/death situation. Then there’s the whole Slayer lust thing, slaying gets me so worked up.”
“Haven’t really experienced that much.”
“Well, sure; when you’ve got a boyfriend of the undead who goes all freaky with the killing whenever you boink him.”
“Hey, no low shots.”
“Just stating the facts. You gotta get out a little more, live a little; you know,” Faith grinned. “Let’s start with dancing some more.”
“You ready to go Buffy?” Willow called out as they came back to the table after another round of dancing.
“What do you mean, go?” Faith questioned Buffy.
“Will’s coming over to my house to study,” Buffy replied casually.
“Oh,” Faith said, saddened. It was only 9:30 and she had been having fun. She should have known; Buffy didn’t like her that way.
“Did you get the movies?” Willow turned to Buffy hopefully.
“Movies?” Faith was confused. “You said you were gonna study. I haven’t been to school for six months, but I don’t remember watching movies being a big part of it.”
“We are,” Buffy smiled and started pulling something out of her bag. “We’re in Shakespeare class, so we’re going to watch ‘Shakespeare in Love’ and ‘Romeo & Juliet’. What a better way to study Shakespeare than watching how it’s been interpreted by today’s culture. Wanna join? It’s gonna be a night of fun.”
“Sure B, it’s not like I have anything better to do,” Faith smiled at Buffy, but Willow didn’t look so sure.
“But I thought it was going to be a girls’ night in Buffy,” Willow worried. “You know, like old times: you, me, some pizza, a box of tissues, and some sappy chic flics.”
“She’s coming Willow. She’s one of us now; she patrols with us, so she needs to do the rest too—sappy chic flics and all,” Buffy shot back, putting her arm around Faith’s shoulder. Faith was shocked; she didn’t think Red had a single streak of mean in her. But she guessed that the fact that she had tried to kill Willow’s best friend the day before to help her corrupt Watcher didn’t exactly put them on the best of terms. However, if she did want a relationship with Buffy, then she’d have to get along with her friends, and vice verse. She was thrilled that Buffy stood up for her like that though, but it wasn’t like she couldn’t have stuck up for herself.
“It’s ok, if Red doesn’t want me to come, I won’t intrude.”
“No, it’s fine Faith, sorry,” Willow said apologetically, going back to normal Willow. “It’s just that, you know, traditions. But Buffy’s right: you Slay with us, you cry with us,” though she had a feeling that Faith wouldn’t be crying much.
“Cool! I’ll come,” Faith smiled. “Five by five!”
“Willow was planning on staying over, as it’ll be late with the movies,” Buffy commented and Willow held up her duffle bag, smiling a half smile. “We can stop by your place and get your stuff, cool?”
“Cool.”
“Ah, I love Leo,” Willow commented, they were almost done with ‘Romeo & Juliet’. “But I can’t decide; do I like him or Ben better?”
“I don’t know Will, I could go for either,” Buffy said, then they looked at Faith.
“They’re not really my type,” Faith shrugged. “I like darker guys: Keanu Reeves, Johnny Depp. Though I wouldn’t say no to Brad Pitt.” They all laughed.
Then the door bell rang. “Oh, pizza!” Willow squeaked and ran to get the door.
“I think Claire Danes is a cutie,” Buffy said, smiling at Faith.
“Nah, too much of a goodie-goodie,” Faith shook her head.
Buffy was just about to rebuke that comment, as Faith always said that she was a goodie-goodie, but Willow came back with the pizza. They gathered around and grabbed their pieces. Buffy and Faith went for the same piece and their hands touched. Buffy put her hand on top of Faith’s and interlaced their fingers, but she quickly let go when she remembered that Willow was there, thankfully she had already started eating her pizza and didn’t notice. Faith sighed as she went back to her spot on the sofa, and Buffy watcher her go with longing.
“Oh, this is the sad part,” Willow cried. “It’s so horrible when she wakes up and sees that he’s dead. It’d be so horrible to have someone you love so much die in front of you like that.”
Buffy looked at Faith and saw her wipe a tissue under her eyes. She knew that Willow hadn’t noticed, busy with her own tears, but she was worried about Faith.
“I’m going to the kitchen to grab drinks. Faith, wanna come help me?” Buffy held out her and to help Faith up.
Buffy turned to Faith after they entered the kitchen and looked into her eyes. Buffy loved Faith’s eyes, there was just something about them; they were so deep, so dark, but they held so much pain.
“What’s wrong, Faith?” Buffy questioned softly; she knew Faith didn’t react like that because of the movie, but because of what Willow had said. Faith just shook her head and turned away. “Something’s wrong Faith, I saw what happened in there. What really happened with Jake?”
“Nothing, it’s like I told you,” Faith shrugged, she grabbed the sodas sitting on the counter. Buffy turned her around and brushed Faith’s hair behind her ear; she placed her hands on Faith’s shoulders and pouted. Faith loved when stuck out her bottom lip like that, inviting her to take it in her mouth; it made her want to give into anything Buffy wished. She smiled weakly, “I’m fine.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“If anything’s ever wrong, just tell me. I’m here for you Faith,” Buffy said, taking Faith’s hand and a coke and leading her back to the couch.
“I stuck in the next movie guys,” Willow commented as they reentered the room and gave Willow her drink. “Oh, yay! Mountain Dew, I need some caffeine if I’m going to make it through the movie.”
Buffy and Faith laughed as they joined Willow on the couch. Unlike for the last movie, however, they now sat together. This gave them some new opportunities. Buffy moved her arm to the top of the couch behind Faith and started toying with her hair: twisting it around her fingers and letting it fall again. As the minutes passed, Faith finally gave in and laid her head on Buffy’s shoulder. Faith noticed the position they were in and smiled to herself; she knew that she was the only one Buffy would let do this. A Slayer doesn’t expose her neck to just anyone after all. She began to nuzzle Buffy’s neck and thought: Damn it, what if Red sees, she’s bound to notice something. But when she peaked around Buffy she saw that Willow was completely engrossed with the movie. So she went back to Buffy’s neck. Buffy placed her hand moved on Faith’s thigh and began stroking it. Faith jumped up as Buffy’s hand moved between her legs; she couldn’t stand this anymore, and if she became any more turned on who knows what she’d do. Buffy and Willow jumped in surprise of Faith’s sudden movement.
“Uh, um,” Faith began stuttering; trying to find an excuse to get her and Buffy away from Willow. “I need to go to the bathroom. Can you show me where it is B?”
“Yeah, sure.” Buffy stood up; she got what Faith was trying to do.
As soon as they got up the stairs they began frantically; their hands all over the other’s body. All the sexual tension that had been built up during the dance and held in over the last few hours was finally let lose.
“God, B! You were getting me so turned on,” Faith gasped huskily between kisses, then pulled away. “If only Red wasn’t here. Can we get her out of the house some how?”
“Without making her think something was up? Will may be naïve, but she is a genius; she’d figure things out,” Buffy smiled. She gasped when she saw how aroused Faith was; her eyes were even darker than usual. “Damn Faith! I did get you all worked up, didn’t I?”
“Yeah! Between the dancing and then the hand thing. I didn’t realize you could dance like that; usually people can’t keep up with me, or they aren’t willing to,” Faith commented with grin.
“I guess it’s a Slayer thing,” Buffy commented, then a mischievous grin appeared on her face. “Next time we’ll really give those guys something to watch!”
“If it weren’t for Red we could have some fun. Are you sure we can’t get her out of here?” Faith pouted. Buffy grabbed her stuck out lower lip with hers, then pulled back smiling teasingly.
“Nope. I guess you’re just going to have to suffer through it.”
This isn’t fair, Faith thought. If Red wasn’t here, I’d take B right here. But it was probably best that B’s little friends didn’t know about them, at least not ‘til B was ready to tell them; and Red walking in on us would definitely be a bad thing. Faith would have to give in once again.
“Hey you guys, you’re missing the best part,” the red head called from down the stairs.
“We’ll be right down,” Buffy yelled back. She gave Faith another kiss and ran down the stairs. A few seconds later, Faith followed taking the steps slowly. She was mad at herself for ever thinking that Buffy’s feelings for her were strong enough that she wouldn’t care what her friends would think.
Faith looked at the clock when she got down the stairs; it was already after 2:00 and they still had about forty five minutes left in the movie.
“Damn, you guys; I’m spent,” Faith yawned as she entered the room. “I think I’m gonna hit the sack. You mind if I take the bed, B?”
“Nah, go ahead. We’ll be a while,” Buffy smiled.
“Night B; Red.”
“Night Faith,” Buffy and Willow called in unison. Buffy watched Faith walk away before turning back to the movie.
Faith flopped down on the bed and was amazed at how comfortable it was; her hotel bed was like a brick, but she’d gotten used to it. She was surprised at how tired she was; but then again, she’d gotten very little sleep in the passed few weeks and it was finally catching up to her. She went to sleep quickly and didn’t dream, she guessed that’s what sleep deprivation did to you.
Faith woke up about two hours later and felt someone’s arm on her. She opened her eyes and recognized Buffy’s hand; her arm was wrapped around Faith, holding her close. She looked across the room and saw Willow sleeping on the cot that had been meant for her. Then she turned around in Buffy’s arms and looked at her thoughtfully; she looked so peaceful when she was asleep. Faith brought her hand up to Buffy’s face and caressed her cheek. Before falling back to sleep, Faith brushed some of Buffy’s hair off her face and gave her a soft kiss.
Buffy was the first up that morning, which was probably a good thing as her and Faith’s limbs had become entwined during the night, and Faith’s head was resting on her chest. That would have been a very awkward thing for Willow to have woken up to. She slowly untangled herself from Faith, kissed her softly, and got out of bed. Trying not to make too much noise, she walked across her room to grab some clothes and headed for the shower, figuring that Faith and Willow would be up when she got out.
As Buffy got into the shower, all of her thoughts turned to Faith and the effect she had had on her earlier that morning. She had thought about Faith a lot over the last couple of weeks; she had figured that all her dreams and fantasies would have given her a glimpse of what being with Faith would be like. But just kissing Faith was so different than anything she could have imagined, she realized that she was in no way prepared for what she hoped to experience with Faith. She had made love with Angel, yes; but making love to Faith was going to be completely different, and she couldn’t wait.
Thoughts of Faith inevitably led to other things. Buffy had a general rule not to masturbate while friends were in the house, but she couldn’t help herself. She could remember the feeling of Faith’s hands all over her body as if it was still happening, and the images flooded her mind. Faith’s hands tangled in her hair; Faith’s hands moving frantically up and down her back; Faith’s hands grabbing her ass; Faith’s hands groping her breasts. She wanted so badly to know what it would feel like to have Faith lick and bite her nipples.
Buffy’s hand had moved down between her legs involuntarily some time during all of these thoughts, but as she became conscious of her actions, she quickly moved it up again. God, what am I doing? Buffy scolded herself. I can’t do this while they’re here; what would happen if I screamed Faith’s name when I came. Yeah, that would be fun to explain to Willow, “So, why did you scream ‘Faith’ while you were in the shower?” That would go over real well.
She tried to keep her mind off Faith as she showered, but it didn’t work so well. While she soaped herself, all she could think of was Faith’s hands all over her body again. She had to stop this; maybe cold water would work. But no, her thoughts went right back to Faith. Finally Buffy gave up on the shower all together, she wasn’t safe from her mind while she was in there; so she rinsed the suds out of her hair and got out, quickly drying herself off.
After Buffy left the bathroom, she walked down the stairs to the kitchen; figuring they were up by now. But when she got there, only Willow was sitting at the table.
“Faith leave?” she questioned the red head eating cereal. It wouldn’t have surprised Buffy if she had left; she had been rather uncomfortable there that night. And if she had woken up and seen that Buffy wasn’t there, she might have felt unwelcome. Buffy did a wonderful job of making people feel unwelcome and she hated herself for that.
“No, still asleep,” Willow yawned, and Buffy gave an inward sigh of relief. “I figured I’d let her sleep. Don’t want to get on her bad side.”
“Hey, she’s not that bad you know. She’s actually a descent person; she’s just troubled, that’s all,” Buffy scolded. “You guys should give her a chance.”
“Yes, and Angel’s just brooding,” Willow commented snidely. “You were the one that was complaining about her taking over when she first got here.”
“But I’ve gotten to know her better, she’s so a different person than what we thought she was,” Buffy felt she’d get that out there, but regretted it soon afterwards; how would she explain all that to Willow.
“Ok, so what is she really like.” Buffy was right, she shouldn’t have brought that up.
“You wouldn’t understand; Slayer stuff.”
“Ah, that’s right, I forgot. You don’t tell me anything anymore; I wouldn’t understand any of it,” Willow shot back.
“I’m sorry Will; you know I don’t like being all secrets girl around you. I would tell you, but it’s not really my place. Faith will tell you guys when she’s ready,” Buffy hoped that would help the situation, but Willow didn’t look like she would accept that. “I think she’s still holding stuff back from me. I don’t know what and I don’t know why; I can just tell.”
“Yeah, cuz Faith’s so trustworthy. That story about the crocodile; such a lie,” Willow didn’t feel like letting the issue go; once again Buffy had made her feel unworthy because she wasn’t a Slayer.
“It was an alligator,” Buffy corrected, feeling that Faith would have done the same.
“Whatever. I’m gonna get some coffee, and maybe you’ll feel like talking to me when I get back,” she said getting up from the table and put her bowl in the sink.
“Fine, whatever,” Buffy sighed as Willow left.
As soon as Willow left, Buffy went back up to her bedroom to see if Faith had gotten up yet. But when she entered her room, Faith was still asleep, lying on her side facing away from Buffy. She was so beautiful when she was asleep; just lying there, peacefully. She had this look of vulnerability that Buffy didn’t think Faith could possess. Buffy went to the bed and lied down next to Faith, putting her arm around the dark Slayer and pulling her close. She just lied there for minutes, looking at Faith as she slept, watching her chest rise and fall as she breathed, and toying with her hair. Then she began kissing Faith gently; kissing her cheek, the corner of her eye, her jaw line. It was the kissing that finally woke Faith up; but she had been on the verge of waking up for the last few minutes, so she didn’t wake with a start.
Faith thought she’d take advantage of the fact that Buffy thought she was still sleeping; so when Buffy went down to kiss Faith’s cheek once more, Faith turned her head and Buffy’s lips met lips when they were expecting cheek. Buffy smiled at the connection, surprised yet pleased, and turned Faith around to face her.
“Morning beautiful,” Buffy said softly as they smiled at each other and looked into the other’s eyes; but when Faith looked at Buffy, she saw sadness. Buffy’s normally bright, cheerful eyes seemed dull and full of sadness and anger; they were more like her own than Buffy’s.
“What’s wrong sweetie,” Faith whispered soothingly as she stroked the blonde Slayer’s hair. This new nickname was a pleasant surprise for Buffy; she had gotten used to being called B, but she liked this better.
“Nothing,” Buffy muttered, looking down.
“Nothing doesn’t do this to your pretty face,” Faith said, putting her finger under Buffy’s chin and bringing her face up so she could look into her eyes again. She smiled at Buffy in a concerned way, making Buffy take down her walls.
“Willow.”
“What’d Red do?” Faith was surprised, of all of Buffy’s friends, Willow was the one that she least expected Buffy to get mad at.
“We kinda started yelling at each other,” Buffy shrugged.
“What were you guys arguing about?” Faith asked. “Must’ve been serious, seeing as Red up and left, and you’re lying here all gloomy like.”
“You, actually,” Buffy said softly.
“Did you tell her about, you know, us? Is there an ‘us’?”
“That would be a no and an I hope so,” Buffy said uneasily. “I mean; I don’t think they’d understand. Between the way they acted when they found out that I was still in a relationship with Angel, and the way they act around you; I don’t want to know how they’ll react to the knowledge of ‘us’.”
“Don’t worry B; you tell them when you’re ready,” Faith said reassuringly. “They’re wonderful friends, well maybe not Cord, but the rest of them; you guys are so close. I’m sure they’ll understand; and if they don’t want to be your friend if you’re with me, they don’t deserve you.”
“God Faith, I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’re driving me crazy,” Buffy looked at Faith seductively, putting her arms around Faith’s neck. “I can’t get you out of my mind. This morning, in the shower, all I could think of was your hands all over me. You get me so worked up.”
“God B! I want you so badly.”
“Then take me; I’m yours,” Buffy looked up into Faith’s eyes dreamily. Faith took Buffy’s lips in hers and pressed her tongue against them, trying to gain access to Buffy’s mouth, which she was granted. She had yet to taste Buffy like this, they had been to busy doing other things to worry about the tongue action; but now that she had, she wondered why she’d never done it before. Buffy tasted so good; it left her wondering how other parts of Buffy would taste. But for now, this would have to satisfy her. It was so wonderful; just kissing Buffy sent sparks through her body, their connection was so strong.
They pulled apart, however, as they heard the door open down stairs. They moaned at the loss of contact, but they pulled it together quickly.
“I thought she’d gone,” Faith whispered in Buffy’s ear, she pushed herself away from the other Slayer and they both stood up. Buffy ran down the stairs to meet Willow and Faith followed shortly after her.
“I got the coffee and some Danishes Buffy, ready to ta- oh,” Willow paused when she noticed Faith. “Morning Faith, hope you slept well.”
“Yeah, I did, actually,” Faith smiled, hoping to maybe have a civilized conversation with the red head. “I’m not used to sleeping on such a nice bed; that was a nice change from my usual brick.”
“I got you your usual,” Willow said, turning back to Buffy and giving her her drink. Then she turned back to Faith. “I wasn’t sure what you wanted, so I just got you a black coffee; I brought some cream and sugar just in case.”
“Thanks Red, anything’s fine, I just really need some caffeine today,” Faith said gratefully. Red really wasn’t a bad person, she was probably the most thoughtful person Faith had ever known; she just wasn’t comfortable around Faith, that’s all. Faith could understand this, she tended to make the people around her a little uncomfortable, she couldn’t really help it. “Let’s take this to the kitchen.”
She led the way to the kitchen where they sat in an awkward silence while eating their pastries. The coffee had worked; Faith was now buzzed and couldn’t stand just sitting there any more. She had to do something; so she got up, threw her stuff away, and went into the other room to grab her bag.
She came back into the kitchen and smiled at the other two, taking one last bite of her breakfast. “I’m gonna go train; only thing I can do on a Sunday morning, so I figure, what the hell. Wanna join B?”
“Nah, I gotta do some homework. Pesky school,” she smiled, getting up to lead Faith to the door. They walked together slowly out the door, closing it behind them. Buffy looked back up at Faith and smiled again. “I’ll meet you at the library in a couple of hours, k?”
“Five by five, B!” Faith smiled. She gave Buffy a quick kiss good bye and headed down the driveway. She wished she could’ve stayed, but knew it was best that she left. Red and the rest of the gang would soften to her over time, but she had to give them space; being around them all the time wouldn’t help, and neither would continuously stealing B from them.
Buffy just stood in the door way and watched her leave, watched her until she couldn’t see her anymore. Then she went inside and found Willow still sitting at the table.
“Hey, d’you think you can help me with the math homework? I couldn’t figure out fourteen at all, I think they make the evens the hardest so you can’t look them up in the back to see if you did it right,” Buffy laughed. She had grabbed her book from her bag in the living room and set it on the table.
“Sure, I got that one fine… I mean, it was really tricky, took me about fifteen minutes to figure it out, but I think I got it…” Willow began to ramble, trying not to make Buffy feel incompetent about her math. She tended to do that, a lot.
“Don’t lie, Will, it doesn’t suit you,” Buffy smiled. “It doesn’t take you fifteen minutes to do anything. In fact, I bet you spent under fifteen minutes on the whole assignment. You’re a wiz, I’m not, and I’m ok with that.”
Willow shrugged; actually, it had only taken her ten minutes to do it, but she didn’t say anything. She was good at math; it went with the whole computer thing.
“I wonder if it’s a Slayer thing; you know, not being able to do well in school. It’s like I’m a jock, but I’ll never be able to get scholarships to any colleges.”
“You’re not a jock,” Willow rebuked; she wouldn’t let Buffy get down on herself. “You’re just really, really busy. Who else could put on their college résumé, ‘saved world several times’?”
“But that’s just it,” Buffy pointed out. “I can’t. No one will ever know what I do; they can’t know. But whatever, what do I do with this problem? There’s too many symbols and letters; what happened to numbers and pluses and minuses?”
“Maybe you’re right,” Willow said, her mind was wondering.
“Huh? You mean about the whole ‘too many little symbols in math nowadays’ thing?” Buffy questioned, she was very confused now.
“What? Oh, no. About Faith, maybe she is an ok person,” Willow said thoughtfully. “I mean, last night Oz said we should give her a chance, and now you’re saying the same thing. So maybe I should.”
“Oz is a wise, wise man,” Buffy commented mostly to herself. “I’m glad you feel that way though.”
They smiled at each other. “Now about this math thing,” Buffy pointed out, they were getting off topic a lot; and if it kept up this way, she’d never get the problem done.
“Oh, right; the problem. Well, what you do is…”
*A week later*
“Argh!” Faith screamed as she kicked a vamp’s face in, sending him flying into the wall of the crypt. But that didn’t help and he came at her again. God, these things just don’t know when to give up, do they?
“B! A little help.” Faith had staked that one, but another grabbed her from behind. Buffy glanced over to Faith from a few yards over. The split second she took to look around at Faith gave her vamp the opportunity he needed to put in a well placed punch, sending her to the ground. Faith flung her vamp over her head and staked him. She was about to go help Buffy when another vamp rushed her from behind the crypt, but she stop a yard away from Faith, which caught her off guard.
“Hey Faith; long time no see,” she smirked, losing the game face, which made Faith gasp.
“Fuck, not you too,” Faith said, shocked.
“Yep, he got us all, didn’t you know?”
“I had no idea. But I am gonna have to kill you now, all evil and everything,” Faith smiled sweetly.
“No you won’t, you’re too weak. You’re all talk, you won’t come play,” the vamp mocked.
“No I’m not. I’ve gotten over that whole staking-vampires-that-used-to-be-friends thing, or did you not get the memo,” Faith commented with a smile, rushing the vamp, who had gone all game face again. They began throwing and blocking punches; Faith got a few good ones in the stomach, but got the vamp in the face with a kick, making them even. The fight began to get heated, so Faith went for her stake, going in for the kill. But as she went for it, the vamp lashed out. “AHHH!” she screamed as the vamp slashed her across the chest, then kicked her in the stomach and sent her flying. She slammed into the crypt and her head hit the wall, making her black out. The vampire smiled and walked over to the heap of Faith lying next to the crypt. She bent over and was about to sink her teeth into Faith’s neck when Buffy came up behind her, grabbed her hair and staked her through the back. She gave a look of surprise and turned to dust.
“Faith. Faith, baby, come on, wake up,” Buffy whispered, brushing hair out of Faith’s face and wiping blood off her lip. She felt for Faith’s pulse; it was still fairly strong, but very fast. Buffy wasn’t worried about Faith losing too much blood from the slashes; they weren’t too deep. She was just glad that the vampire hadn’t gone for Faith’s neck; she had heard about what happened to Kendra, and didn’t know what she would do if Faith had died.
“Come on baby, we gotta get you out of here.” She didn’t see any vampires around the graveyard, but they were prone to showing up out of nowhere. Buffy had to get Faith to her house before any decided to show up; so she picked her up and began carrying her home. It began to pour as soon as they left the graveyard; she had to get her home quickly. Buffy was very glad that she didn’t meet anyone on the way; it would have looked very awkward to see her carrying the taller, bleeding girl down the street in the rain.
She kicked the door, in a knocking manner, when she got to her house. “Mom! I need some help,” she screamed, hoping that her mom hadn’t left for LA yet.
“Buffy, what’s wrong?” Joyce asked as she opened the door. Then she saw her daughter carrying a limp Faith in her arms. “Oh my. What happened? No, I probably don’t want to know. Quickly, bring her in.”
“We were patrolling and ran into a nest,” Buffy began to explain as she lay the still unconscious Faith down on the couch. “We were doing pretty good, but then this psycho bitch vamp shows up, and her and Faith started talking. Next thing I knew, she was being thrown into the crypt.”
Buffy had begun to pace around the room as her mom bent over Faith to look at the wounds on her chest. “These look pretty bad, maybe we should take her to the hospital,” she said, glancing over to Buffy, she had just noticed how wet the girls were. “Buffy, you’re soaked through. You should change, I’ll take care of her.”
“No, she’ll be ok, I hope. The wounds aren’t very deep.” She had stopped pacing and joined her mother by the couch. “We can take care of her here.”
“Buffy,” Faith moaned. They looked down at her hopefully, but she was still out of it.
“I’m going to get some stuff to clean her wounds with; you go find something to change her into. We don’t need her getting sick as well.”
Buffy nodded and headed upstairs. She was glad her mom had everything under control, she wasn’t thinking too well. Buffy was also very glad she had agreed to not take Faith to the hospital. Buffy hated hospitals more than she hated cemeteries. Last time she was in a hospital, well, it wasn’t a good experience.
She found a long sleep shirt in the back of her dresser, grabbed it and ran back down the stairs to Faith.
Joyce entered the room at about the same time carrying a first aid box. “Here’s all the stuff you need. I have to leave; I’m late as it is. I’ve called Mr. Giles; he should be here in about twenty minutes.”
“Thank you for everything mom,” Buffy said, giving her mom a hug. “I love you.”
“Bye honey,” she returned, then grabbed her bag to leave. “Call me in the morning to tell me how she’s doing.”
“Sure thing,” Buffy replied. “See you in a couple of days.”
Buffy went back to Faith lying on the couch and picked up her head to sit down, then laid her head on her lap.
“Faith, I’m so sorry. Wake up baby, wake up,” Buffy cried; a tear fell on Faith’s cheek. She felt so guilty about not going to help her when she had asked.
The rain had washed away the blood, but Faith’s dark hair had been plastered to her face. Buffy brushed away the hair and placed a soft kiss on her lips. Her face was badly bruised, but they would heal within a few days. Buffy was thankful for their Slayer healing abilities. Buffy began carefully taking off Faith’s shirt; it was soaked and clung to her body. The wounds were deeper that Buffy had originally thought, but they had already begun to heal over; at least she wasn’t bleeding any more. She grabbed a cleaning pad from the box and wiped it over the slashes. She winced as she did so; Buffy had had this stuff used on her enough to know how much it hurt and she hoped she wasn’t causing Faith any more pain.
When she had finished cleaning the slashes, Buffy moved her hands under Faith to unclasp her bra. She had wanted to do this for three weeks, but she just wished it could have been under better circumstances.
“God you’re beautiful Faith,” Buffy gasped as her eyes saw Faith’s breasts for the first time. She was perfect, and Buffy wished she could just sit here and look at Faith forever, but remembered that Giles would be there soon; so she pulled herself back together and finished changing Faith.
Buffy wasn’t sure when Giles would get there, but she figured she should get Faith to a more comfortable place. So she picked her up again to take her to her room.
“Buffy,” Faith said again as they had gotten to the foot of the stairs. Buffy felt Faith’s arms going around her neck and when she looked down she was met by Faith’s eyes.
“You’re ok,” Buffy gave a sigh of relief. “I was so worried. Do you think you can walk?”
“Probably, it’s not like she broke my leg or something,” Faith said. “But I’d like it better if you carried me.”
“Oh, taking advantage of my Slayer strength now.”
“Of course.” Faith brought her head up to give Buffy a kiss, but groaned in pain. “Ow, my head hurts so much.”
“I’ll get you something,” Buffy said, lying her down on the bed, then turned for the door. “I’ll be right back.”
She ran over to the bathroom and grabbed some medicine. She was almost back to her room when the door bell rang.
She opened the door to reveal a very concerned looking Giles. “Is she ok?”
“Yeah, I think she’ll be fine. She just woke up, I took her to my room,” Buffy glanced up the stairs. Then she shook the pill bottle in her hand. “She’s still in a lot of pain though, so I’m giving her some pain killers. Will you go get some water for her to take these with?”
“Of-of course,” Giles said, wiping his glasses. “I’ll be right up.”
As Giles turned to go to the kitchen, Buffy raced back up to her room. She couldn’t stand staying away from Faith for longer than a minute while she was like this. Faith was asleep again when she entered the room, but woke up when Buffy sat on the side of the bed and began gently stroking her forehead.
“Ow.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“No, everything hurts,” Faith tried to laugh, but that hurt too. “It’s not you. I think I might have a broken rib too.”
She lifted up her shirt slightly so that Buffy could check. She felt her ribs, but shook her head, “nope, nothing broken; just very bruised. Looks like you’ll be off patrol for a couple of nights.”
“That’s not fair; what am I gonna do if I can’t patrol?”
“Just do research with the others I guess,” Buffy smiled down at the bruised girl lying on her bed. “You said you wanted to get to know the gang better. Well, here’s your chance.”
“Oh, goody.”
“I’ve got the water,” Giles spoke up as he entered the room.
“Good,” Buffy said, standing up and taking out a couple of pills. “Take these pills; they should help with the pain. Then maybe you should get some sleep.”
“I think not,” Giles shook his head sadly, wiping his glasses again. “Faith, you probably have a severe concussion; so sleeping is out of the question. We can take turns staying up with her Buffy, but we have to make sure she stays awake.”
“Sure Giles,” Buffy agreed. She sat back down on the bed and gave Faith the pills and the water. “I’ll stay with her first. I’ll get you some blankets and a pillow and you can sleep on the couch. I’ll wake you up if I get tired.”
“You sure Buffy, you’ve had a long night already.”
Buffy just nodded her head slowly and Giles left the room.
Buffy entered the room again after getting stuff for Giles and changing into her pajamas; she was glad to see that Faith hadn’t drifted off to sleep again. Faith smiled up at her as she slowly slipped into the bed next to her.
“So, we gotta figure out a way to keep me up.”
“Yup,” Buffy smiled, then leaned over to give Faith a soft kiss.
“You wanna talk about something?”
“Sure.”
“What about?”
“What’s Boston like? I’ve never really left California.”
“It’s really cold, during the winter I mean. It was really fun; they have a much better night life than here,” Faith paused a while to think; it hurt to think right now. “Lots of Goths, too. There are many more people into the whole witch thing in Boston; probably cuz Salem’s so close and everything.”
“Willow would like it there,” Buffy added thoughtfully.
“It can be hell though. It makes it a lot easier for vamps to blend in. And then there’s a lot of people who think they’re vamps, but they’re so obvious it didn’t make my job any harder.”
“Who was that vampire? You two seemed to know each other.”
“Yeah,” Faith breathed, looking up at the ceiling. “That was Erika; she was one of my best friends in school. One of Kakistos’s lackies must have turned her after I skipped town. I think he got most of the people I was close too. I’ve killed most of them now; it’s so hard you know…”
Faith trailed off, looking over at Buffy, who gave her another soft kiss. “No, not really; I guess I’ve been lucky,” she smiled weakly. Buffy knew she had to find a way out of this subject. “I’ve just blown up my gym, been kicked out of school a couple of times.”
Faith tried to laugh again, but it was still kind of painful.
They talked for almost two hours about various things: the subjects they had taken, their pre-slaying lives, what they were doing the moment they were called, among other things. Finally they drifted off to sleep; they had tried so hard to stay awake, but that night’s activities had worn them out. The rain continued to pound on Buffy’s window as Faith fell asleep in Buffy’s arms.
Faith was walking through a graveyard again, and it was raining. She had to keep blinking the water out of her eyes; she could verily see, but she could sense somebody watching her.
“C’mon bumpy, I know you’re there. Just come out and fight me like the good demon you are,” Faith paused for a moment, hoping for the vamp to come out and face her. “C’mon dude. I’m wet, cold, hungry, and pissed off. And the longer you make me wait out here in the rain; the worse your death will be.”
“Oh really Faith. Do you really think you’ll be able to kill me?” came a voice from behind a head stone. A dark figure stood up about ten yards from Faith. She couldn’t tell who it was, as it was dark and her vision was limited; but she recognized the voice.
“What makes you think I’ll let you live?” Faith shouted at the faceless figure. “I killed him; and I loved him more than I ever loved you. But you’re not her anymore, are you. You’re just another vamp.”
“But you didn’t want to kill him. It hurt so much to have to do it, didn’t it Faith?” the woman hissed. “Poor Faith and all her problems. You had such a sad life, so full of problems. But you always hid from them. You never faced them like a true Potential; you would hide behind me, or him, or your little group of friends, and wait for them to go away. But we’re gone now Faith. There’s no one to hide behind anymore Faith.”
“Shut up!” Faith shouted. “You’re not her. I loved her, and she loved me. She’d never say this to me. You’re not my mother!”
“Oh, but I am,” she said snidely, coming closer to Faith. “I look just like her. I’m just enough like her to make you not want to kill me.”
The vampire leapt at her as she went for her stake.
“NOOOO!” Faith screamed, and her eyes shot open. She was back in Buffy’s bed with Buffy bent over her, horror spread across her face. She could hear Giles’ footsteps running up the stairs.
“Faith, are you alright? What’s wrong?” Buffy said panicked. Faith was stunned; she couldn’t say anything, all she could do was look at Buffy.
“My word; what happened? Did Faith just scream? Is she ok?” Giles burst into the room, stake in hand. He must have thought they were being attacked or something.
“Where’s Faith?” he questioned; he could see Buffy, but Faith was still lying on the bed. Buffy got off the bed and Giles sat on it next to Faith. He looked down at her in wonder; her eyes were open, but she wasn’t responding to anything. Buffy was standing behind Giles, the look of horror still filled her face; she couldn’t move. She didn’t know what had happened to her Faith, but it wasn’t a good thing.
“Faith. Faith, wake up,” Giles shook the seemingly unconscious Slayer. “Buffy, get the lights.”
The light seemed to have triggered something in Faith’s brain to tell her to start functioning again. “Jesus! What’s going on?”
“I really couldn’t tell you,” Giles shrugged. Behind him, Buffy’s whole body gave a sigh of relief. “It probably has something to do with the concussion, though I’ve never seen anything like this happen myself. Buffy, did you let her fall asleep?”
“Maybe, we were kinda talking, and I guess we kinda drifted off.”
“Fuck! My head!” Faith screamed, clutching the back of her head with both of her hands; the searing pain had returned.
“I think the medicine has worn off,” Giles commented softly as he looked down at the clock on Buffy’s night stand. “You should get her some more. Bring her down stairs and we can figure out what’s going on. I’ll make some tea; it will sooth the nerves.”
“So you had a dream,” Giles asked, sitting across from the two Slayers in the living room. “What about?”
“Well, it wasn’t really a dream; more of a haunting memory,” Faith said slowly; the meds had just kicked in and she wasn’t thinking clearly. “I guess repressed memory would be the right term for it. It’s always kinda been there, you know. But I just try to push it away.”
“Yes, but what was it about?” Giles was trying to get as much out of Faith as possible, but she still seemed to want to avoid the subject.
“My mother. She’s a vampire. Or was, I guess,” she finally got out. She had suddenly become very fascinated by her half empty mug and began slowly moving it in circles. Buffy put an arm around Faith’s shoulders to comfort her.
“And you’re telling me this was a memory; not a dream?”
“Yeah; she was turned, like all the others…” she went back to her mug.
“What happened?” Giles tried to coax out of her, but she didn’t say anything; she just kept staring into her mug like there was something in it hypnotizing her.
“Come on baby, what’s wrong,” Buffy whispered in her ear; rubbing her back. “You told me I’d understand, remember?”
“I killed her,” Faith whispered flatly, showing no emotion. “I didn’t want to; no one ever wants to; but I did.”
Buffy’s mouth dropped open slightly, and Giles began cleaning his glasses once again. “Faith, I’m so sorry. No one should have to go through that.”
Buffy wrapped her arms around Faith and drew her into a tight hug. Faith’s body became tense and started shaking like she was crying, but no tears came out. “It’s ok baby; it’s all over now and I’m here,” she whispered softly.
“No it’s not,” Faith shook her head. She looked at Buffy, who was looking back very confused; though the confusion in her face didn’t nearly match that of Giles’. He had no idea whatsoever about what was going on around him. Clearly the two Slayers had been talking together outside of Slayer duties, but he hadn’t known this. “I haven’t told you everything yet. I mean, about what happened when Kakistos came.”
Ah, finally something Giles knew about. He was the one that had found out about the whole “Kakistos killed my Watcher” thing after all.
“Jake?” Buffy questioned softly, and Faith nodded. This made Giles confused once again; who the hell was Jake? “Giles, could you go?” Buffy had a feeling that Faith wouldn’t be comfortable saying whatever it was she was going to say in front of Giles, at least not in her present state.
“Yeah, sure.” He stood up, grabbed his things, and headed for the door. Buffy joined him and led him outside.
“Thank you for everything,” she said, closing the door. “I realize that you want to know everything you can about Faith, but I think she just wants to talk to me. I’ll let you know about how everything goes, and I’ll call if we need anything.”
“It’s ok Buffy, I understand. I’m just glad she’s opening up for you. She’ll open up to the rest of us in time,” Giles said calmly, placing his hand on Buffy’s shoulder.
“I keep trying to tell the others that, but they don’t get it. Thank you, so much.”
He nodded and walked to his car. Buffy stood there until he got in it and drove away, just to make sure nothing came after him.
Faith just sat there quietly while Buffy and Giles spoke, trying to gain strength to tell Buffy the truth of that night. She composed herself and felt she was ready as Buffy came back in the house; but when she sat down next to Faith, she couldn’t look her in the eye.
“Kakistos killed him,” she began, almost inaudibly. Buffy made a little noise and tried to comfort Faith again; silently saying that she didn’t have to go on if she didn’t want to. But Faith stopped her. “No, I have to tell you, I have to get it out… He went to my house to talk to me, but found Kakistos instead, along with my dead Watcher and mother. I know I told everyone that I saw him torture and kill my Watcher, but I didn’t; I watched him torture and kill Jake, and I couldn’t do a thing to stop him. I came in a minute after Jake did, and two of his little minions grabbed me. I was just about to stake one when I saw Jake. He kept looking over at me as he was tortured, calling for me to save him; but I couldn’t move, I felt like I had been paralyzed. After killing him, Kakistos let me go; I guess he likes the chase or something. But the next day, Jake came up to me, he’d been turned, and I staked him. It took everything in me to do it; he kept taunting me, told me I didn’t have it in me, and he wouldn’t change his face. I killed Jake Vamp while he looked like Jake. And then I came here, I didn’t know what else I could do.”
“You did the right thing; coming here. I needed you,” Buffy whispered, moving closer to Faith, taking her in her arms. “I’m so sorry baby. I wish I had known; I wish I could have been there for you from the moment you got here.” It finally hit Buffy that Faith had been through the same thing she had, but she was dealing with it better than Buffy had. After killing Angel, Buffy ran away, left everything behind: her friends, her Watcher, her mom, and her duties. Faith was a better person than Buffy; she had run too, yes, but for survival, and she hadn’t left anything behind either. Faith had had everything that Buffy had left behind, but all the people were dead, and she hadn’t given up her slaying duties either. This revelation hit Buffy in the face harder than any of Faith’s bunches ever had. She understood; Faith said she would, if she just listened.
As she had been talking, Faith’s eyes had begun to tear, but she had been able to keep them in. Now they flooded her eyes and began to run down her cheeks. She tried to shake them away, but Buffy was there first. She kissed each tear off the other Slayer’s cheeks, and, cupping Faith’s face in her hands, wiped away the remaining wetness with her thumbs. She looked deep into the other girl’s eyes and saw a sadness in them that she knew all too well. “Don’t cry, baby, please. I’ll be here for you, I understand now.”
She took Faith’s face up to hers and kissed her forehead before bringing it down and resting it on her breast, and put her head on top of Faith’s. She held her there for a long time, letting her cry for as long as she wanted. She knew Faith didn’t like crying, especially in front of others; it left you vulnerable, and Slayers couldn’t stand feeling vulnerable, exposing yourself both physically and mentally to the world. Buffy felt the same way. She suddenly realized that she and Faith were much more alike than she thought.
“It's ok baby, you can cry while I’m with you,” Buffy whispered gently as she rocked Faith in her arms. Faith’s crying turned into shallow sobs, and slowly subsided as she once again fell asleep.
When Buffy realized that Faith was sleeping, she picked her up and carried her back up the stairs. She carefully placed Faith on the bed and laid down next to her, pulling the covers over them. She lay there for a while, listening to Faith breathing and watching her chest slowly rise and fall.
...to be continued...