The Blood on Our Hands
by Slayer125
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Buffy and Faith belong to Joss and Mutant Enemy.
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Buffy looked down at the blood on her hands and then looked at Faith. She was looking at Buffy in shock.
"I didn't mean to B. He was just there. I.. I am sorry. B, I gotta go."
Buffy looked down at the body and then back at Faith running figure. She could not let Faith go. She had just killed a man and she knew Faith well enough to know this could destroy her.
"Faith" Buffy took off running after her. Buffy jumped as Angel reached out and grabbed her.
"They have Giles" was all he said.
Buffy was confused as to whether she should go help Faith or Giles. The decision was made. Giles could not defend himself. Buffy did not know that this decision would effect the rest of her life. They saved Giles and Buffy immediately went to Faith's motel room.
Buffy knocked and did not get an answer.
"Faith, answer the door. Come on we have to talk." When there was still no answer Buffy got worried. She tried the knob and it turned for her. She walked in and did not see Faith. Then she noticed there was steam coming out from underneath the bathroom door. As she opened the door the heat about knocked her over. Buffy saw the bloodied clothes on the floor and heard sobs coming from the shower.
Buffy forgot modesty as she shoved the shower door open. Faith was huddled in the corner sobbing and scrubbing at her hands. There was blood pouring from the wounds Faith had inflicted on herself. Buffy reached and turned off the hot water handle, flinching at the heat. She then grabbed a towel and carefully wrapped it around the sobbing girl.
Buffy's heart broke for her. She felt bad for her part in the death but to have felt the stake plunge into human flesh, to stop a beating heart forever. Buffy shook herself out of her thoughts as she noticed Faith had inched closer to the wall. She was still shaking. Buffy reached under Faith's legs and pulled her up, she held her to her chest and talked to her as soft and kind as you would a baby.
"Faith, sweetheart. It will be okay honey." Buffy could not prevent the words. She knew Faith was in such a deep sorrow that she would not realize what Buffy said. Buffy laid Faith down on the bed and felt Faith cling to her. Faith was crying still and could not speak but Buffy understood the silent request for her to stay.
"Just let me get you fixed up baby." Buffy went and got the bandages and wrapped Faith's hands and arms up. She cringed at how much hide she taken off and knew that would definitely leave scars. Tonight would leave lots of scars Buffy thought to herself. There were scars on Faith's soul and scars on her body and Buffy would also carry the scars.
Buffy climbed into bed and took the shaking Faith in her arms.
She held her through the night. She hugged her as she cried and she held her as she fought to remove the blood that tainted her skin. Faith finally fell asleep as the dawn crept through the window. Buffy just watched Faith, awed by the beauty that could only be hers. The beautiful raven hair that fell over her face was so soft. The full dimpled lip that was so kissable. Buffy had felt a strong attraction to Faith since they first met but decided she was better off leaving it alone. Now Buffy knew better, seeing Faith hurt was tearing her apart.
She brushed a strand of hair off her face and leant down to kiss her love. Everything else was forgotten Giles, Angel, her mother, Willow, Xander none of them mattered. It was just Buffy and Faith who had woken to what she thought was a dream. She had lots of them that involved Buffy.
Faith woke to someone's lips pressed against hers. Without thinking she opened her mouth and felt a groan and a tongue enter her mouth. Faith responded and there became a duel. Neither sought victory just togetherness. Faith opened her eyes and saw Buffy kissing her with her eyes closed. Faith groaned as a million thoughts crept into her mind. Buffy knew Faith was awake and knowing her she knew bad thoughts were invading her mind. Buffy pressed herself against Faith and plunged her tongue even further in Faith's mouth. Faith wrapped her arms around Buffy and was trying to calm down but the assault Buffy was inflicting was too pleasurable to walk away from.
Faith pushed her bandaged hands up Buffy's shirt and roughly yanked on her bra which broke it. Buffy reached down to pull her shirt off, not wanting Faith to injure herself further. She hoped Faith was in the right state of mind for this. Buffy did not want to take advantage of her. All coherent thoughts fled her mind as Faith took one of the nipples in her mouth. She rolled the tiny bud around in her mouth. Buffy felt herself get wet as Faith continued the caress on her nipple. Faith was wearing nothing but the bandages on her hands, the only thing Buffy had left on were her panties and jeans.
Buffy stood up and yanked her pants and drenched panties off.
She eased her self down on top of Faith. She leaned over Faith and nipped gently at her ear. When Faith groaned Buffy flicked her tongue into her ear loving the effect it caused in the woman she loved. Faith ran her hands over Buffy's body which had a glow from the sun. Faith took her tongue and ran it over Buffy's stomach but as she went down, Buffy grabbed Faith and kissed her gently.
Buffy did not want Faith to do something onesided, she wanted the first time to be them together. Faith kissed Buffy feeling her every emotion while she tried to block out every emotion. She just wanted this time, no thinking about what had happened, just her and Buffy. Her thoughts were brought back as she felt Buffy's hesitant finger play with her clit.
"Faith, I don't.."
"It's okay baby let me show you."
Faith reached down to Buffy's very wet center. She touched her clit gently and felt Buffy arch into her touch. Buffy then concentrated, though it was hard, and touched Faith in the same way.
Faith felt the contact and could not control the way her hips reacted as Buffy's hand was thrust back against her own body. Buffy loved this reaction, Faith had her hand on Buffy and Buffy's was just behind Faith's. When Faith had thrust two fingers of Buffy's had slipped inside Faith.
They both were kissing and carressing. Faith had thrust two fingers in Buffy. She rested her forehead on Buffy's as she balanced on one arm, she continued the light thrust into Buffy. The moisture driving her crazy. She felt Buffy contine to thrust harder. Faith knew this meant she was close. Faith moved her mouth over to lightly play with Buffy's ear. Her tongue slid over her earlobe. She felt Buffy's muscles clench. Their bodies were rubbing against each other. They were covered in sweat. As Faith felt Buffy's muscles clench she gently rubbed her clit.
That was all it took. Buffy's arms gripped the sheets as her knuckles turned white, her body rigid except for the few spasms that rocked her body. Faith loved having that power over her body. As she felt the moisture flood her hand, bandages and all, she was reminded of blood. So much blood. She tried to block it out and opened her eyes to look at Buffy, but the eyes that looked back were dead. No flicker of life. God no!!!!
Buffy looked up as she felt Faith's body tense. There was terror in her eyes. She jumped off the bed and grabbed a sheet. She ran into the bathroom and slammed the door. Buffy had a good idea what was going on, but she wanted to know what triggered it.
When Buffy walked on the bathroom she saw Faith at the sink splashing water on her face. When Faith met her eyes in the mirror, Buffy felt her heart stop. Faith's eyes were empty, they showed no emotion whatsoever. Faith was tense, Buffy could see the muscles knotted in her shoulders. She walked up behind Faith and laid her hand on her shoulder. Faith shrugged it off.
"B, that should not have happened. You are happy with Angel, you don't want to throw that away. I can't offer you anything. Go be with him."
Buffy knew what Faith was doing and she'd be damned if she was going to get away with it. "I wanted that to happen. I do not regret it one bit. I have tried to make it work with Angel and I love him dearly but you're.. well.. you're you. You are Faith, you are so wild and free. You are everything I always wanted to be. I want you to show me how to let go."
"You don't wanna do that Buffy. Look at me, I am so fucked up in the head I can't stand myself. I don't want you involved with me. I don't wanna see you hurt. If the police come after me, you were not there and you didn't see me. You were with Giles. Tell him what happened so he can help you. Just walk out the door and don't look back."
She knew Faith was hurting but did Faith think she could just forget about her. "Dammit Faith. This is my life so what gives you the right to decide my life. Yea, it will be so easy to just say screw you Faith. You take the fall and oh yea have a good life. I can't do that baby. You have my heart and my body, what is mine is yours. I want what's yours to be mine. Don't shut me out. I know you are scared and so am I." Buffy felt the tears fall from her eyes.
"Don't cry for me B. I am so not worth it." Faith reached out and pulled Buffy into her arms. She gently wiped the tears from her face. "Baby, I want to think of you safe and warm, cuddled up in someone's arms and being loved beyond all your dreams."
"That is what I want too. I am loved beyond all my dreams. I watched you Faith." Buffy looked up into Faith's eyes and they showed so much turmoil. "Do you think I never noticed the way you watched me. Do you think I never saw the longing in your eyes. I was scared kinda like you are now. But I accepted you last night and now I can't let you go. I can't watch you destroy OUR lives together." Buffy stressed the our in that statement. "It is Our dreams and OUR future. I accepted you into my life, now you do the same. Let me be the one to hold you and kiss away your tears. Let me be the one you laugh with and make love to until the dawn of a new day. Be with me forever baby."
Faith had tears running down her face as she tenderly cupped Buffy's face. "Baby, I don't know that it's going to be so easy. I do want a future and I want it to be with you. But you are so pure and I am a murderer. I will have that haunting me until I die."
Buffy looked at Faith and said "I was there too Faith, let me be here now. We will figure it out as we go." Faith looked at Buffy and said "If things start to go wrong and you get hurt I will be gone B. I will not be the one to bring you into my hell." Buffy threw herself in Faith's arms and said "I know you Faith. You would never hurt me." Buffy did not see the doubt in Faith's eyes. There was so much Buffy did not know.
Faith thrashed around on the bed as the visions of the accident kept running through her head. She had not gotten any sleep in the weeks following the murder. She would be walking with Buffy and then the man, whose name was Finch, jumped out and staked Buffy in the heart. Faith would hold her as the blood spread everywhere. Buffy looked up at her and said "You would never hurt me Faith." Then she would die in Faith's arms.
Buffy woke to Faith crying out in her sleep. There had been so many nights that Faith would have these dreams. When Faith first woke up she would cringe away from her. Buffy thought she looked like a scared child. Later, after Buffy would get her calmed down she would cry in Buffy's arms. Then they would make love and it would be so intense Buffy actually felt the world stop.
Buffy reached over and gently shook Faith. The first night she had scared Buffy and as Buffy shook her rather hard she had got decked in the jaw. Faith woke and saw Buffy sitting beside her. Her eyes were full of worry. "Hey Baby. Are you okay?"
Faith wiped at the tears.
"5 by 5" Faith sniffed.
Buffy couldn't resist she pulled Faith into her arms and kissed her gently. Faith seeking to be as close to Buffy as possible after the dream pushed her tongue into Buffy's mouth. There was so many questions Buffy had but they slipped from her mind as Faith laid her down. Faith straddled Buffy's waist and ran her tongue along Buffy's collarbone.
Buffy shivered as she pulled Faith closer to her. With everyday that passed she felt Faith pull away from her more and more. These times are the only time Faith showed true emotions. Buffy ran her fingers along Faith's breast and pulled at the hardened nipple making Faith push against Buffy.
Buffy felt how wet Faith was as the moisture from Faith drenched her leg. Faith was straddling one thigh so Buffy pushed her thigh up harder into Faith. Faith ran her fingers along Buffy's body treasuring every inch. She followed her fingers with her tongue. Buffy was going slowly insane from the treatment she was getting. She wrapped her legs around Faith and thrust against her. Faith rolled to her side carrying Buffy with her. Faith continued to rub against Buffy's thighs and Buffy did the same with Faith's muscular leg.
Faith felt Buffy start to shake and knew she had to give Buffy her release. Never losing sight of those beautiful hazel eyes as they watched her she slid down Buffy's body. Gently she kissed her thigh wondering how she could ever live without this woman. She looked up and saw tears in Buffy's eyes. She gently thrust her tongue into Buffy wanting to go slow and make the moment last forever. She gently flicked her tongue over Buffy's clit, making the girl jump.
Buffy felt herself come closer to climax and she wanted nothing better than to have her love beside her so she pulled her up beside her and inserted two fingers into Faith. Faith arched her back as she felt Buffy slip inside. These moments were the ones that made her life worth living. It had been so dark before Buffy, slaying was away to end it all. But she had crossed a line when she brought death to another.
Faith shook her head to clear it as Buffy's sweat covered body thrust against her. Faith knew she was so close and she wanted nothing more than to bring pleasure to the one she loved. She reached down and gently thrust three fingers in Buffy. She stilled as she waited for Buffy's body to adjust. Buffy thrust her hips up trying to get much closer to Faith. She wanted to know what made her. She wanted to know what thoughts pushed her away.
Buffy felt herself start to climax and knew Faith was also almost there. She ran her thumb along Faith's clit knowing this would bring her over the edge along with her. Faith and Buffy climaxed at the exact same moment and as they drifted back down Faith laid her head on Buffy's breast hiding her face so Buffy could not see the tears.
Faith always did this, she tried to hide her emotions from her.
Buffy knew she was crying, she could feel the tears scorch her skin. She wanted nothing more than to go back to that night and change it. She feared this would be the one thing to take her Faith away.
Buffy pulled Faith up to her so that Faith's head was resting on her shoulder. "Faith, please talk to me. I know you are hurting and I only want to help you. We were both there that night. I set him up for you. We are both at fault. It has been over a month and I still feel bad but it was one person. We have saved so many lives stop torturing yourself."
Faith looked up at Buffy and said "but it is so hard to do B. It wasn't you who did it. You did not feel the stake go into his chest. It went right into his heart B. I did that. Yes I have killed vamps but they do not have a heartbeat." Faith had tears running down her face as she spoke. "I try to sleep but I dream and B, you died, I can't do that. I can't lose you and live. If something happens to you it is over. I had given up on life before you and I can not do it again."
Faith was sobbing as Buffy pulled Faith close in a hug.
"F, I am not going to leave you. You are not alone but you have to fight for this. You have given up and we can't make it if you do that." Buffy started to cry "Do you think it does not hurt me to lose you when you are right here? When I reach for you and you turn away, do you think that is easy?"
"B, I'm sorry. I am trying baby. I can't lose you and I need your help." Faith laid her head back down on Buffy's chest. "We will make it, just help me B. Please just help me."
Faith woke to find the bed empty, she stretched her arm out and she found a note. Her heart stopped as she thought that after last night's confession Buffy had left. The note read
Faith, NO I did not leave and I am not going to. This is for you. You reached for me in your dark allowing me into your heart I will be with you through thick and thin We'll be together until the end You been stuck in your own hell but together we will get you well I have been alone for so many years together we will quell our fears I will not run I will not hide We'll get through this night by night You will not do this on your own my heart and body will be your home.
"I love you baby" said Buffy from the doorway, noticing the tears Faith had cried. "You will not be on your own ever again. You can try to run away but I will follow. We have spent most of our lives alone let's not do it anymore." Faith leaned forward and said "B, you are stuck with me forever."
"Good now get dressed, Giles wants to see us. Oh, we are going to the Bronze tonight."
They both went downstairs and grabbed some breakfast and took off. When they got to the magic box Giles was nervously pacing around.
"Ahh girls nice to see you. If you would have a seat I need to tell you something. You see I found out that the gentleman killed was Alan Finch. He was the mayor's assistant and in researching all this I found some valuable information."
Buffy glanced at Faith and noticed how pale she was and she was taking shallow breaths.
She reached her hand over to Faith's and Faith grabbed it in a deathgrip.
"What I have found is that our mayor is very, very, very old. He was alive in the 1800's."
"So he is a vamp, that can be fixed easily." Buffy said getting worried about Faith who just stared vacantly ahead.
"No Buffy he is a demon that is planning the end of the world."
"Ohh not again. I am so tired of people trying to end the world. That takes up too much time. A vamp is just see and slay. I like that, right Faith." Faith had her head bowed down as she nodded but Buffy felt a tear land on her hand. "Giles we are going to go to the training room for a minute. You can tell us more about the big bad when we get back, okay."
Giles noticing Faith's distress said "Quite all right Buffy go ahead."
Buffy pulled Faith towards the training room and Faith blindly followed. She pulled her down to a mat and said "Faith it is over baby. You heard what Giles said. He worked for an evil demon mayor. He was evil so it is fine baby."
Faith looked up at her fighting tears "Then why do I feel so empty inside? Why do I feel dead?"
"You're not dead baby and I will prove it to you." Buffy said as she pressed her lips to Faith's neck which was one of her most sensitive spots. She felt Faith shiver as she sucked and moved her hand towards Faith's breast. She pushed Faith back and they both fell on the mat but Buffy never broke contact. She put one leg between Faith's and pressed up as she sucked harder on Faith's neck. She had her hand in Faith's shirt and pushed the bra out of the way, she then tugged on the nipple. Faith was rubbing against Buffy's leg hardly and Buffy felt the heat and moisture causing her to be more aggresive.
She moved her mouth down to Faith's breast and her hand towards Faith's very wet center. She unbuttoned Faith's jeans and jerked them down. Faith's panties were drenched.
"Do you feel alive now, F?" Faith just groaned loudly. Buffy then moved her mouth to Faith's clit. She blew gently on it and watched as Faith arched off of the mat. She then took her tongue and plunged it as far as she could in Faith. She kept thrusting her tongue in and Faith met each thrust eagerly. After a few minutes both girls' body was covered in sweat. Buffy kept teasing with her tongue and Faith played eagerly. All of a sudden Buffy captured Faith's clit gently between the teeth flicking her tongue out. Faith cried out, then while she had Faith's clit in her mouth she reached down and plunged two fingers in. Faith thrust against Buffy's hand and mouth. They both eagerly met each other. Buffy felt Faith's muscles clench and knew her baby was there. She flicked her tongue out several times and Faith screamed as moisture flooded over Buffy's mouth and hand.
Faith pulled Buffy up to her as her body shook from the aftereffects of the climax.
"God B, now I know I am dead. I died and went to heaven." Buffy just smiled and said "As long as I am there with you we are okay baby."
Faith kissed her and tasted the essence of her and Buffy entwined. Never had she tasted anything better. Buffy felt her heart lift as she saw a real genuine Faith smile.
"Are you okay now?"
"Five by Five. Now let's go slay. I love getting hungry and" Buffy groaned. "That's okay B next time it is your turn." Buffy grinned happily. When they were dressed and proper again they walked out and saw Giles who was beet red.
"Okay Geeves, let's go take him out."
Later that night BUffy and Faith laid in bed covered in sweat watching the news which spoke of a giant explosion. The building had been empty except for one Mayor Wilkins who died tragically in the fire. Buffy looked up and grinned, happy to have her Faith back. They both spoke together as they said "I love you." They fell asleep entwined in each others arms, both at peace with the world.