In The Darkness
by Slayer125
Rating: PG

Disclaimer: All Characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
Feedback: Please….

There are only so many times one scene can play in your mind I think to myself. This Mantra is the only thought that brings me any hope for the future. It seems as if this scene has etched itself in my memory as much as my name is implanted there. If my eyes are closed I see the knife, if they are open I see the knife. The only place the scene changes is when I sleep, this is the place I find comfort.

The dreamscape is where we are not enemies and she loves me as much as I do her. This wonderful dream has her holding me tight in those delightfully strong arms. I can see the love reflecting in her eyes as we kiss tenderly and her fingers caressing my flesh like it is the most wonderful thing she could touch and taste.

I wake to a reality that seems unreal to me. Yet again I have to be the hero and a savior. Is that even possible when you hold so much hate for yourself? How can I be a hero when I couldn't save the most important person in my world? Was I blind to what was happening to her?

My friends surround me with what they consider warmth but is it really. God so many questions in my brain. I love the Scooby's dearly but when they followed me around like lost dogs don't they know they are just endangering themselves. What if I can't save them just like I couldn't save her. Now I find myself here, staring at her lying on the bed. Tubes and machines beeping and pumping air into her lifeless body. Slayer healing should have long since healed all these ailments. Tears fill my eyes as I look at my soul mate, lost to this world. Will she ever know how much I love her and need her? Why was I too stupid to be able to tell her?

My fingers reach out unwillingly, if only those fingers had listened all the times when she was standing in front of me, dimples appearing from the most beautiful smile. They touch a skin that is cool to the touch, skin that hasn't seen daylight in many months.

"Hi Faith." I whisper into the empty white room my voice echoing in the silence. What am I thinking that she will sit up and whisper hello back? "I know it has been a couple of days but a lot going on you know." A tear falls one of many, enough to fill an ocean. "I guess you don't really, I am not even sure you here me but I am greedy and I admit it. I need you so much Faith." I pause almost like we are having a conversation "You know I am so sorry for all the shit that has happened between us and I hated you for it but I should have hated me."

I take a cold lifeless hand in mine. "You tried so hard to get me to love you but I was a bitch, too concerned about what everyone else thought. I never saw what it was you offered me Faith." I swallow the lump in my throat "I hope, god I hope it is not too late."

I lay my head on her chest and can feel the heartbeat, a sound that could almost fool me and make me believe she is here with me now. "I know I left you to the darkness Faith but I need you to come back to me and be my light."

I recite a poem to her as I stroke her beautiful, raven tresses. I look at the hand, which is long and skeletal looking. IV's are not enough to give a Slayer the sustenance they need.

	To walk upon an empty shore
	Could be a moment of infinite bore
	But a moment of time in the worst day
	With the one you love can chase blues away

	To hold a heart's desire
	I would walk through hells burning fire
	To hear my lover's I love you
	Through my heart I would surge a dagger through

	To die alone is one's greatest fear
	Or might it be having a loved one near
	This is the question I give to you
	Do you believe in a love so true

	Do you wonder if for this love I would die
	Do you see the tears that are cried
	If this was your chance to take love's hand
	Will you give into this demand

"Do you ever miss me in there Faith?" I ask wishing she would open her beautiful brown eyes.

"In all the darkness can my voice lead you out?" Answer me please my body is begging her to feel its distress. "Follow it Faith Dammit. Come back to me so I can show you what it is like for someone to love you the way you did me.

"I left you in the dark once Faith don't leave me here now."

More tears fall and only when my vision clears do I realize they are not just my own. The darkness lifts from my soul as my one true love opens her eyes and brings salvation to this tortured Slayer and I only hope that she grants me the opportunity to lead her from the darkness.

...continued in In The Light...