True Love: Decisions
by Slayer125
Rating: NC-17

Disclaimers: All characters belong to Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon (Lucky !!!!)
Spoilers: We have a friendly Joyce, Dawnie, and a very in love Buffy and Faith.. Some colorful history but that's okay.
Feedback: I thrive on it. Ps. Thanks Faithful Chickie and Eliza Lover.

Buffy sat in her room and thought about everything that had happened. Everything with Faith was great but it was wrong. Not only was Buffy very straight but Faith was a very good friend. She remembered the pain she experienced with Angel and knew she did not want to go through that again. But the look on Faith's face when Buffy went to help her up.

"Look B. That should not have happened. My bad, no problem, I am gettin tired so why don't you head home. I know you are tired to, you haven't slept much." Buffy reached out to pull Faith off the floor and she said "B, back off. I am going to have to learn to do this myself."

Faith put her hands on the side of the bed and went to pull herself up. She was about halfway up when the sheet slipped and she fell back down.

"Faith, quit being so damn stubborn and let me help you."

Buffy felt bad because she felt the distance between them. Buffy knew things should not have gone that far, but everything that had happened felt so perfect.

"Buffy, are you gonna be here every time I have to go fucking pee? Are you gonna be here every time I have to get up for one reason or another? Are you going to be here every 24 fucking hours? God should have let me die. I am so tired of all this fucking shit. I love you so bad it fucking hurts but you can't deal. That is just fucking great. Go live your perfect life with the perfect family. Go be the hero. Please just go. I can't deal with having you so close but not being able to have you."

Tears were streaming down her face now and Buffy said "Faith, I did not mean for this to happen. Please don't turn away from me now. I can't do this alone, I need to have you in my life. You are the only one I can talk to about all of this fucked up life I don't understand."

Buffy fell on her knees. By this time she was having trouble breathing and Faith wanted to reach out to her so bad it tore her soul apart. But Faith knew she could not give her heart and soul to her knowing Buffy did not feel the same way.

"Buffy, you have Willow and Xander and Giles. Your Mom is great, I would kill to have someone like that. I would love having someone to love you no matter what mistakes you made. Hell Buffy if it had been you that killed Finch, they would have supported you and I am glad for that. I am glad you have that. You deserve it, you are the light of so many people's life."

"But not y..y.ours. Why can't you be in my life. I make so many people happy but why can't I have what I want. My days were nothing while you were in a coma. I barely functioned, I missed your laughter and your eyes. Why don't you want me?" Buffy reached out for Faith and cringed when she saw Faith lean away from her touch.

"I do want you in my life Buffy but I see how you handle us. Behind closed doors is fine but you can't handle us where your friends are concerned and I don't blame you. I am fucked up and I admit it. But do you know how hard it is wanting you and I can't have you."

"Faith you can't throw our friendship away over a mistake we should not have made."

"See B, it was not a mistake to me. It was what I waited for my whole life. In this life of hell it was my own piece of Heaven."

Faith was crying and she said "B, I don't want to hurt you and this is killing me. But to lose your friends and family over me, I can't let that happen. I know I won't be able to hold back with you because I'll know what I am missing. You are the only girl I have been with, but you are the only person I have made love to. I know I won't be with anyone else and by some slim chance I do I will see your face."

Faith reached out to Buffy with a hand that was shaking so hard you would be able to tell from across the room. Buffy had curled up with her knees to her chest and her back to the bed. She could not stop crying, this hurt so bad and she knew it was hurting Faith just as bad.

"Faith, please," she begged.

"I can't B. Just please go."

"Can I help you o..on the bed first." Buffy was having trouble keeping from just collapsing right there. She had lost Faith again and she had just experienced the best thing that had happened to her. Buffy was just confused as to what she felt.

"Yeah okay B."

Buffy reached down and wrapped her arms around Faith. She was able to control herself until she had Faith on the bed. As soon as Faith was laying down, Buffy kept her arms wrapped around Faith and laid down on her bed sobbing.

"Please Faith don't do this. I'll do anything. If Willow can't accept I don't need her. I just need you. Please baby. I need you. You and me that's all I need."

Faith could not stand it anymore. She pulled Buffy up beside her where her head was laying on her chest. Faith could feel Buffy shake as the sobs racked her body. Buffy had hurt Faith so many times it should feel good to have this power over Buffy, but all Faith felt was hate directed at herself. "Shhh Buffy come on it'll be okay. Come on don't cry. Please Buffy calm down baby. You are gonna make yourself sick." Buffy continued crying in Faith's arms. It was all too much. She had thrown it away again. She could not do it anymore. She had hurt Faith and that was the one thing she swore she would never do again.

Buffy cried for two hours and the only reason she stopped then was because she fell asleep. Faith continued to stroke her golden hair, treasuring every moment she spent with Buffy in her arms. She knew Buffy was hurting but Faith knew losing her friends would be just as hard. Faith was going to have to do something. Buffy moved a little and Faith watched her until the sun crept through the windows. A nurse had come in to check on Faith and saw Buffy laying with her on the bed. She started to say something but stopped when she saw the pleading look in Faith's eyes. Faith fell asleep clinging to Buffy, praying to god to give her strength.

When Buffy first woke up she was wondering why her head hurt so bad. Slowly the whole thing came together. She remembered the conversation her and Faith had. She remembered everything that had happened. Buffy looked up at Faith and felt so many things. She was happy to have her alive and awake. She felt sad and scared knowing that Faith may never walk again. She felt confused about all the emotions that involved her. What had happened changed everything. Buffy was not the type to just screw someone with no emotions involved. But Buffy had known all along she had feelings for her, but did she want to pursue them. How would she handle the feelings the world had against their relationship? Another person who would be affected would be her mother and Giles. What would Willow say?

Faith stirred under Buffy. Buffy looked at her face and thought she looked so beautiful. She knew so many people had hurt her, she deserved only happiness. Buffy felt self hatred as she thought of all the things she had done to her.

"B, I love you." Faith mumbled. Buffy noticed she was still asleep. Faith's hand moved to Buffy's breast. Then it made its way down her back. Buffy felt herself getting swept away with the feelings. Yet again knowing it was wrong she reached up and pressed her lips to Faith's. Faith's tongue moved into Buffy's mouth. Buffy felt her breath catch as their tongues started a dance. Buffy felt a longing that deep within. Pleasurable but needing to be released. Buffy looked up and saw Faith's eyes were still closed. Buffy reached down and felt Faith's very wet womanhood. She was glad Faith slept so deeply. She inserted one finger and felt how wet Faith was. Buffy groaned and pushed up her hospital gown. She took one nipple in her mouth as she pushed three fingers into Faith. Faith came awake with a gasp. Buffy felt Faith start to move up against her fingers.

"B. Ummm B" Faith continued to move under Buffy's hand and mouth. "Fuck B."

"No Faith, Making love."

Faith reached down as Buffy continued thrusting her fingers in her. Faith didn't think about her reaction. She pushed her hand against Buffy as hard as she could, wanting her to feel as much as she was. Buffy pushed against Faith's hand needing more contact.

"Faith please. Babyyyyy." Buffy moaned as Faith pushed her hand underneath Buffy's pants and panties.

"Buffy, open up for me come on" Buffy spread her legs and Faith pushed two fingers in Buffy not wanting to hurt her. Buffy and Faith started to push against each others hands. Faith noticed Buffy's nipples were perked up under her shirt and bra. She reached down and nipped it with her mouth.

"Fuck Faiiith. Please" she whimpered and Faith said "B, I want to. Umhhhh" Buffy had pushed her fingers their full length into her. Faith felt herself start to come but she did not want to be alone so she curved her finger in Buffy and felt her muscles start to clench around her fingers. Faith knew Buffy was ready so she pressed her mouth to Buffy's And thrust her tongue into Buffy's mouth and then thrust her fingers as far as she could and Buffy did the same. Buffy moaned into Faith's mouth as she came. Faith also groaned into Buffy's mouth they pressed against each other as they climbed to the stars in each others arms.

"Damn Faith. We are gonna give the nurses a show." Faith was starting to come down from her high so she told Buffy "Probably should get fixed up there B. We don't want Red walking in on us."

Buffy got up off the bed and fixed her clothes.

"That is not fair. I was shocked. Just give me some time and that is all I am asking for. I just want to ease this on everyone gradually." Faith sighed, she could not deny Buffy anything.

"That is fine B take all the time you need but if we are too much for you just let me go."

Buffy sighed and said "I can't I am already in too deep. I love you Faith, like I said I just need time and not for me but every one else. I know what I want. I want to see you happy and I want to wake up next to you. I want to slay with you and I want to lay with you. I want forever but only if it is with you."

"Damn B I love you and I will for eternity and beyond."

"What time will the doctor be here?"

"12 o' clock on the dot he said. We will know where it goes after that."

"I have to go home for a little bit but I will be back by noon. You better be good. Do you need anything while I am gone?"

Faith replied "only for you to come back to me."

"Have no fear I am stuck to you now."

Buffy thought back to everything that had happened while she laid on her bed. Faith was so gentle with her and she saw a side of her that she kept hidden from every one else. She just hoped that everyone could accept it. She decided the place to start would be Dawn and her mother. Oh well Buffy thought might as well get this over with.

She walked down the stairs and saw Dawn sitting on the couch.

"Dawnie, have you seen Mom?"

"She's in the kitchen. What's the big bad?"

"Nothing I just need to talk to the two of you."

"Oooohhhh. Mommm Buffy needs you."

Joyce walked into the living room and said "What do you need dear?"

"Can you sit down Mom." Buffy was getting really nervous.

"Oh dear. I don't guess this can be worse than finding out your daughter risks her life everyday."

"Ok mom you know how I have been helping Faith. Well I have always had some feelings for her but I am just now figuring out what they are and I really do like her and she has changed and she's good and having a hard time and I love her mom."

"Buffy, you are learning to babble from Willow. I have known for a while you liked Faith an awful lot for a while now. You girls have a rocky road ahead of you but with true love it is worth it. I have blown a lot of things with you and I will not lose you over a small detail like this."

"God Mom I love you."

"Wow. This is too cool" Dawn said.

Buffy gave them both a hug and said "I love you guys."

"You too dear. Now I have to go get my cookies out of the oven."

At the hospital Faith had decided to try and help Buffy out. She dialed info and got Willow's number. Willow answered the phone and Faith said, "listen Willow I have to talk to you and please don't say no." Willow was quiet but then said "okay I will be at the hospital in about thirty minutes."

Faith was nervous as she waited for Willow to arrive. She loved Buffy and wanted to make this as easy as possible. Willow was Buffy's best friend. She had to make this right between her and Willow. Willow walked in the room and watched Faith's face as she was deep in thought. She looked almost peaceful and that was a look Faith had never wore before.

"Hey red.. I am sorry Willow. How's it going?"

"What do you want Faith?"

"I wanted to say I am sorry for everything that happened between us. I was really bad and I hurt you guys. There is no excuse for that and I will regret it everyday of my life. I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you."

Willow watched Faith as she made her apology and saw true regret in her eyes.

"I don't really know what is going on between you and Buffy but I don't really guess it's any of my business. I am telling you now if you hurt her I will use every spell I can think of on you."

"It is your business Willow. Buffy is your best friend and I will die before I hurt her again. Buffy is gonna need your help with the slaying and all. I regret it's something I am not gonna be able to do. As of right now I can't move my legs and I am not sure I ever will again."

Willow said "I am sorry about that. I will be there for Buffy when ever she needs it. That will not change, ever."

"Thanks. So how is life treating you?" They sat there and talked for about an hour.

That is how Buffy found them when she showed up. She somehow knew Faith was behind it and thanked her lucky stars for having her around.

"Hey guys. How's it going."

Willow looked at Buffy and said "we were just talking. I better go. Buffy I want you to know I accepted Faith's apology. Whatever is going on between you, you have my support. I love you and want you happy. If Faith hurts you she knows she will be in the cage with Amy eating cheese the rest of her life." Willow gave Buffy a hug and left.

Faith laughed at her as she was leaving. Buffy looked at her with love showing in her eyes. She went and sat on the side of the bed and gave Faith a kiss that Faith pulled away from.

"Buffy there is no better way to use that mouth but the doctor is gonna be here any minute and we don't have a whole hell of a lot of restraint."

Buffy groaned wanting to feel Faith's body with hers but she knew Faith was right.

Buffy laid down on the bed with Faith loving to hear the sound of her heartbeat by her ear.

She fell asleep listening to it and comforted by it. The doctor came in later and found them both sleeping tight within each others grasp. The doctor did not believe in that same sex thing but he recognized true love when he saw it.

"Good afternoon ladies." Buffy jumped up and Faith grabbed her hand. Buffy realized it was for support. "What's the verdict D?"

"Well it seems to be sketchy but it looks like we make get you up and moving eventually. It will not be easy but it seems like you have plenty of support. As for staying here, we can let you go tonight but you have to be at therapy everyday." Buffy was grinning from ear to ear. Not only did the doctor say Faith would probably walk but that she could leave. Faith told him thank you as he left saying he would get her everything she needed.

"Can you go to the old motel and see if they have a room. I should be able to scrounge up enough for that."

"You are not staying there Faith. I will see if you can stay with us."

"B, I don't know if I could handle being under the same roof and not touching you. Anyway, your mom probably wouldn't care for that idea too much."

"Mom knows about us. So does Dawnie and they give us their support and love."

"Wow B. I love you.." Faith said with tears in her eyes.

"Then can I please have a kiss."

Faith leaned in and gave Buffy a kiss that lasted two minutes but left her breathless for the next hour.

...continued in Luck and Love...