My Gift
by Slayer125
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Joss and Mutant Enemy.
Feedback: Let me know if I should continue this.
I wonder what she is going to say when she answers the door. I mean what would I say if she just showed up out of the blue. I laugh silently and watch the cold mist floating in the bitter cold air surrounding me. I already know what I would say and none of it was nice but a lot has happened since then and I still can't get her image out of my mind. Angel and Anya, Wes, we have lost so many people and I don't want either of us to fade away. I want her to know just why I was so screwed up. Looking down at the present in my hand I find the bow has been marred by my frivolous hand twisting. It isn't perfect anymore I wanted everything to be perfect.
The door opens and I see her sitting there in the chair and my heart breaks. Has she not been through enough? Angel called me and told me what happened and I still don't understand. We have slayer healing so she should be fine. I smile back as she gives me that classic lopsided grin that is all Faith's. "I was waiting for you to knock but you never did."
I shrug "you know me I always was afraid to take the first step." She laughs and for a second I see the old Faith, the woman I love.
"Don't I know it. Come on in B you are gonna catch your death out there." I am definitely missing the California warmth but she is worth it because I know Faith needs me whether she will admit it or not.
"Why Boston? You could have stayed in L.A with Angel, he wanted you to." I follow her into a very small little house that is very scarce to say the least. Sitting down on the couch I watch Faith wheel her chair over so that she is facing me. No matter what has happened she still is beautiful. Finally remembering her present I hold it out to her. The package is quite depressing looking now. I remembered the first Christmas she had shown up on our doorstep so I throw out teasingly "it's kinda crappy."
"Ha ha." There is that smile I remember that lights up her eyes like a little girl's. "In case you have not realized it yet B, nothing that comes from you is crappy." She can still lift me up to the stars.
"Go ahead and open it Faith." She shrugs then looks at me guiltily.
"I didn't get you anything hell I didn't even know you were coming."
"It's ok Faith I only ask for one thing for Christmas and maybe you can help me make that come true." Faith's hand starts to tremble a little and I reach to cover it with mine. I turn my hand over and our fingers interlace, still a perfect fit I see.
"What would that be?" Her voice is shaky "why did you come all the way out here B?" Like she doesn't know, can she not feel the emotions that are scaring the hell out of me?
"It has been three years since you left and I have been trying to figure out what has been missing. I have watched Dawnie grow up into a wonderful woman and Willow is a super Witch now. Giles moved back to England and Xander is happily married. I think the thing that I have been missing is you Faith."
Faith immediately rolled the chair backwards as if giving her some distance would help to put some perspective on the situation. "Damn B, could you not have told me that before I went all psycho?" I see the sadness on her face and fear this is not going to go the way I had planned.
"I was too caught up in being what everyone else wanted Faith. I know it is hard for you to understand because you were always strong and independent. You never cared what anybody else thought."
I hear a laugh that is bitter and heart breaking. "So that is what you think? That I never cared what anyone else thought? B, why do you think I went fucking psycho? None of you guys gave a damn whether I lived or died." I jump up prepared to touch her when Faith's hand shot up. "No B, it is the truth and you know it. The only time you ever cared was if there was something you could not handle yourself."
That was true but it wasn't because I didn't care. It was because I cared too much and I feared everyone would know it. If I hid her away maybe I could love her in the shadows and that would be ok. But it wasn't and now I just had to pray that there was a chance I could make this right.
"I was scared, Faith. Can't you understand that?"
She nods "That's something I do understand because I felt that way every day B. I was scared you would see that I wasn't strong and independent, that I was weak. That I needed you B and you would laugh in my face."
I feel tears fill my eyes, how could I have been so blind?
"You hungry?" Faith is rolling her way over to the oven and pulling out a tray of lasagna and garlic bread. I notice her hand is trembling and before I can shout out a warning the hot tray holding the food falls on her lap making her cry out in pain.
I rush to her side my heart beating so loud it is deafening. I see the tears falling down her cheeks and want to make her better so bad. Grabbing an oven mitt I scrape the food to the floor and look around for the bathroom. "It's over there." She inhales deeply but her voice is deep and filled with pain.
I push her to the restroom and look hesitantly down. I need to see how bad the burns are but that means her pants have to go. I watch as her eyes close and she tilts her head back leaving her slender neck bared.
"Go ahead B." I reach out my hand and slowly unbutton it and curse my desire that is already rocketing. She is hurting and here I am lusting after her. I close my eyes as I unzip the jeans and slowly start to peel them off. I hear a sharp breath then I realize I should be more careful. Faith lifts her hips up and I can envision her hips lifting during sex…bad, bad, bad Summers. Once I have her pants off I am shocked to realize there were no panties. Looking up I see Faith grinning in spite of her pain. "Sorry B, I really wasn't planning on this happening."
"That…uhmmmm…s'ok." I clear my throat. "We need to get you washed off." I head over to the tub and turn it on." When I turn back around I see Faith already has her shirt off and is unfastening her bra. Nice to see she still isn't shy, it really is nice to see. "I all but admitted I am in love with you Faith and here you are stripping in front of me."
"Well B," the mocking tone is gone "if you think you are in love with me and I know I am in love with you, you need to see I am not the girl you knew back then. I can't do the things I used to." My eyes fill with tears again as I finally hear her express weakness for the first time. Then I see her shiver and I realize the room is cold and Faith is in the chair naked and beautiful. I notice that her arms are more toned than I remembered and those beautiful breasts are still perky and begging for attention. I move forward to help Faith into the tub when she holds up a hand.
"I know it is strange me asking this but would you take a bath with me B. It has been so long since I have felt…" Her voice breaks "and I am feeling now, if it is a joke you are playing leave now but if you are serious ...I…I need a reason to believe that dreams come true… that maybe you could love someone like me."
Not paying any attention to the fact she is in a wheelchair and naked I walk over and kneel next to the chair. I brush back a strand of her hair and kiss her nose softly. "I know it is a lot to take in Faith but I will be by your side and I will prove that this isn't a joke. Just because you're in that chair does not mean you are a lesser person." I kiss her lips softly fearing I am moving too soon. The feel of Faith kissing back shoots that idea out the window. I groan as I feel a tongue hesitantly reach out and part my lips. Taking her invitation I kiss her deeper and groan as Faith's hand grasps my hair tightly. The feel of her lips are like heaven and I whimper needing to feel more. God every touch of her fingers against my skin feels like fire against me. I pull back quickly and rest my forehead against hers.
"Wow!" I am like shocked, never imagining that this would have gone so far. Faith grins and I trace her dimple with my fingertip. "Bath." It is a breathless whisper and I am not sure if it was she or I who said it.
"Yeah." I start to pick her up and she halts me again. "Would you bathe with me?"
Oh god I know she didn't ask me that just now. This is definitely not the way I saw this happening, not that it is worse or anything. "Are you sure?" OK why in the hell am I so nervous? Isn't this what I have been dreaming about every night for the last three years?
"It's ok B. Don't worry about it I can do…"
I cut off any further protests "I want to Faith." Picking her up in my arms I am astonished at just how light she is. I curse fate for putting this warrior in this position. No matter how much good Faith did, destiny was determined to keep her down.
I kiss those full, pouty lips and smile as she groans. I ease her body in the water and undress very quickly trying not to notice her gaze following me. I jump into the bath quickly and settle back with Faith leaning against me.
"I know this is quick, B. But I have learned something and I need to learn from my mistakes. I wasted so much time with you and this…" She points to her lifeless legs "could have been so much worse." I try to look over her shoulder so our eyes could meet but Faith was having none of that. "I might not have ever got to tell you that…I…I love you, B. There are so many things that make you beautiful from the way you smile, to the way you chew on your pencil or the way you will sacrifice yourself to make someone else feel special."
I feel tears fall down my cheek as I listen. How can she see something so beautiful in me when I treated her so bad? I want to make love to her but I think tonight it would be best for cuddles you know, so she knows I will not take advantage. If it is the right thing for us it will be ok. I look down at her naked body and groan. Ok so it will be a long night but she is worth it.
I kiss Faith's neck softly and smile as I hear a groan. "I do want to make love to you Faith and believe me when I say we will but not yet. I want your body so bad but I want it to be special so you know I am not just one of the users you have been with. I want to worship your body and make you see all the beautiful things that I see. I know how you feel about yourself Faith." I start to stroke her damp hair "I saw it in my face when we switched bodies. You see all the bad things everyone told you, including me. But I will make you see, sweetheart." She grins, god this is the best Christmas ever.
"I like that, B." Kissing her nose softly I feel her hands wandering.
"Slow, Faith." My breathing accelerates as she runs her hand over my taut stomach. My girl is not going to make this easy. "Thank you, Santa." I whisper softly knowing my every dream I had ever wished for was answered. Faith forgave me and I think we are giving this a chance. I wish Mom could know I am happy, looking up through Faith's bathroom window I see a star twinkling brightly. I think she knows; this is my gift.