In The Light
by Slayer125
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Joss and Mutant Enemy pity
though because we could have some fun with them couldn't we.
Feedback: Please!!!!!!!!! Not like I am begging but my knees are
dirty as I grovel at your feet, my creative shadow seeking to be fed
upon the feedback that only you can give hehe Jk. Thanks for reading.
Faith's POV
She is here again, my savior, my hero. I know there is nothing I can say to her but I wish that I could. That vanilla scent drowning my senses, god I wish so much that I could take away the pain I hear. All the torture consuming her is the very same thing I experienced all of my life. If it wasn't from when I was young and my father with all the touches and punches, hmm that could be a song. I blamed myself for so long but come to find out he was the fuck up not me. Nothing a kid could do should make them beat you or other things.
Then I became the Chosen one but I really wasn't. The sharing that responsibility doesn't bother me at all. I mean to be honest the whole world saving in these hands alone, a little too much pressure.
Damn she is leaving again "don't go B." I scream but it echoes in the hollowness of my mind. I feel a tear fall and land on my cheek, I am crying as well because when you love someone the thought of them hurting kills a little piece of you. In this case it is a big piece of me because I know all this pain is my own doing. She is gone and her scent is fading but her words echo in my mind "don't leave me Faith. I can't be alone any more. I love you."
I wonder if the Scoobs have any clue as to how much she is hurting. I know that Red is crushing hard on B but nothing will ever come of that. Buffy would give anything for them but I really thing she is hung up on Angel. If only she could love me ¼ of what she loves him it would be a dream come true. I want so much for her to come back and be holding my hand again. When I can't hear her voice I feel a darkness creep over me leaving me to the demons of my past. I wonder if she knows that she is my light, the one good thing in my life.
The fact I tried to hurt B still eats away at my very essence. Giles is here and I can tell he is uncomfortable because he keeps clearing his throat. I hear that throaty British voice telling me of what the Council is planning, but wait I hear something different in his voice now. The Watcher is telling me about his love for Buffy and her being the daughter he had longed for. It seems the Chosen One is in a bad way from the sound of it. Now he speaks of me being her savior, if I die then he believes that his Slayer will be lost to them. I couldn't leave her any more than I could give into death. Death doesn't scare me as much as where I might end up afterwards. Slayer or not I have done a lot of bad shit that I definitely regret but I can't change.
Thank god she is back I feel the bed shift as she lies against me and it is a warmth that fills me. I need her love so bad and I hope if I get another chance and screw up because that would kill me. Something is wrong though because her voice is scaring me. I think Giles is right and she is gonna break soon so I fight my darkness with everything I have. She needs me to pull her out of the darkness and I need her to be my light. We are the two halves that make a whole.
"Don't give in baby." I scream in my mind. She is crying and I feel the tears falling onto my skin. Her pain is seeping into my flesh. "Come on baby fight this." I whisper hoping somehow she will be able to hear me. Somehow I think I am dreaming when I hear her talk about she has no future without me but I know it is true. I don't know how it changed but she is in love with me and she needs me. I gotta fight like I never have before. Trembling hands are caressing my face and I hear her whisper "Faith." That one uttered word broke my heart because it sounded as empty as I felt before her.
I am crying not just on the inside. I feel a trembling hand wipe away a tear and I know that this tear is mine. I love you B so much and I need you too. Help me baby help me reach you. Buffy's strength and love fills me and before I know it my eyes are opening to a blinding white light. In this light I see my Angel in my vision looking exhausted yet beautiful.
"Baby" I hear her whisper and she looks so lovely as those beautiful hazel eyes fill with more tears. All thoughts are lost those as I realize tubes are crammed down my throat making me gag. Buffy realizes immediately what is happening soon doctors are surrounding me, scaring me. My Angel is there though she is holding my hands and after what feels like hours they have left us to ourselves. God I want so badly to speak to her but my voice is not cooperating. We have had so much time in silence I need Buffy to know what I feel.
I look into her hazel eyes wanting to share this knowledge I have found in my deep abyss. I have learned that the destruction I have caused her should have never happened. I only did those things because no matter how much I loved her there was always that knowledge that Buffy would never love me back. But she does and I know that now. Not only is she my savior but also I am hers.
"I know" that precious Angel of mine whispers bringing to me reassurances that neither of use ever realized we needed. My eyes close as the truth seeps into my body, amber eyes seek hazel ones as a moment that should have happened many months ago finally happens. We spend the next few days of my recovery speaking of things that we want to happen in the future but now the moment has come and I need her to understand something. I look into her eyes as they fill out my discharge papers.
I start to speak and Buffy listens understanding of what I say "They say for each person there is but one true mate. The words that are spoken between two lovers can never really betray what is said in simple actions like a hug, kiss, or touch." I pull Buffy down beside me on the bed wanting her to know exactly what it is I feel, there are tears running down her face and I wipe them away with my thumb. "One look and all I ever wanted to show was what you meant to me B." I pause, not for dramatic effect but just because emotions are overwhelming me, "So though my words will never ever really show what I mean, you are the brightest star in the night sky, and the most beautiful sunset my eyes have ever seen."
Buffy smiles and my heart skips a beat "You are the lighthouse leading me from the stormy seas. For every darkness there is a light."
I brush a strand of hair back from her eye "Will you love me Buffy?" I whisper needing to hear what she feels. I feel fingers intertwine with mine and look at the two skin tones different yet perfect.
"Faith, in this life we can miss love by our careless moves and actions. Together we will lead each other and I will love you. You will be my darkness and my light, together we will be what the other needs."
I smile relieved I did not chase her off with all my sappiness "as long as I am with you and your with me, darkness and light together we'll be."